A Tisket A Casket

[Anonymous No.1558890]

Bought a casket. What do?

>be me
>ride around town in my shitbox limbo
>see casket on a buddy's trailer
>bumber.jpg
>not super close so i leave it be
>sits out for a few weeks in the rain and snow
>the only thing big enough besides a person is his massive fucking horse-dog
>descides fuck it
>his dog looks pretty spry
>catch him outside
>"yeah, about this weather huh..."
>"So what's with the casket?"
>local funeral home loaned it for a spook house. Has a small dent in the corner and a couple dents on top that look like hail damage.
>"You take $100 for it?"
>yuuuuup.gif

So, now I have a casket.

Considered saving it for when I bite it but creamation is cheaper and idgaf. Could resell it but then what? I'd just fund another goofy project.

Ideas thus far:
>street legal casket go kart
>smoker
>just bolt in on the limbo roof and have people randomly pop up and wave in traffic or make it a sub box
>a beer cooler trailer for my wheelchair (not disabled. At least not that bad. But more and more events and festivals are banning fun. Can't ride golf carts and shit around. But i have an electric wheelchair.)

My favorite idea so far though is turning it into a beer fridge. I even have a buddy that's a professional air brush and pinstripe artist. And between me and an HVAC bro the damned thing should look and function like a store bought casket fridge. I guess?

Anyone else have ideas?

[Anonymous No.1558891]

F

[Anonymous No.1558892]

A

[Anonymous No.1558894]

[Anonymous No.1558911]

[Anonymous No.1558915]

>>1558890
use it to decorate nex...mmmm....How urban s the place where you live?

[Anonymous No.1558926]

>>1558915
It's flyover country. 80% retired. 99% caucasian

[Anonymous No.1558931]

>>1558890
>loaned
Give it back to the funeral home he stole it from

[Anonymous No.1558935]

>>1558931
Under 3,000 people live in my county. We have 1 flashing stoplight. I was going to give the funeral home director cash but he was busy. Paid my buddy and tossed it in the truck.

I assume it got dropped and insurance claimed because nobody gave a shit about it for 8 months.

[Anonymous No.1559199]

Get a human sized doll and dress it up like a corpse and put it inside.
Add some servo motor with a discretely hidden arm to open the lid automatically.
Add a motion detection sensor to detect when someone is near it.
Hook everything up to an Arduino or something, with a speaker for spooky noises.
When someone stands infront of it for a bit, have it make spooky noises and occasionally open the lid a bit with the servo.

[Anonymous No.1559528]

>>1558890
How much does it weigh?

[Anonymous No.1559546]

drop it next to a road
get it
when someone stops to check it out, start making zombie noises and thrash about

[Anonymous No.1560501]

>>1558890
go kart is the best option

[Anonymous No.1560502]

Make it into a couch

[Anonymous No.1560585]

Dig a deep hole and put the casket next to it. Kidnap an asshole at night and stuff him in there. Throw some dirt on top to make it sound like you are burying it and listen to him freak the fuck out for a bit. Film the whole thing for shits and giggles

[Anonymous No.1560591]

>>1558890
>Strap it to the roof
I like that idea. You could use it as storage if you find a way to weather-proof it.
wouldn't make a good sub box not right material. Go kart could be cool too but it'd probably be slow. Can't imagine caskets are terribly light.

[Anonymous No.1560633]

>>1559199
Yes!

[Anonymous No.1560634]

>>1559528

Meh, not a lot? It's metal but it's thin. The handles are plastic. If i had to gues maybe 75 pounds?

[Anonymous No.1560636]

>>1560585
AHAHAA!

As funny as that would be ive seen one to many shows where the dude gets loose and stabs you or something.

Let alone they get to the cops and i have to prove that no officer. We were just kiddibg.

[Anonymous No.1560637]

>>1560591

It doesn't weigh much in itself. And im pretty sure the rubber seals are water tight. Or close to it. I never even thought to use it as a storage.

[Anonymous No.1560915]

LOL

[Anonymous No.1561035]

>>1558890
Use it for your waifu body pillows, anon.

[M3xican_lvr No.1561066]

Use it as a mini shipping container and bury it. Not sure how deep the hole should be.

[Anonymous No.1561101]

>>1558890
I would dig a hole (roughly 350-500ft deep) and make it into a one person bunker

[Anonymous No.1561172]

It would be a waste to not fuck inside it before turning it into something else.

[Anonymous No.1561191]

>>1558890
Put an audio system in it, play talk radio on low volume while you drive around town.

[Anonymous No.1561246]

>>1560636
It really wouldn't matter if it were just a prank, however doing it to a buddy could solve both the legal and physical risk problems.

Just make sure you've got beer for him to calm him down after

[Anonymous No.1561249]

Keep it for yourself, you now have a cozy ass bed.

[Anonymous No.1561675]

>>1558891
Jesus Christ you white trash bag of filthy fucking garbage.

[Anonymous No.1562924]

Motorcycle sidecar.

[Anonymous No.1562939]

>>1561172

[Anonymous No.1563350]

You could use it as a closet for your coats/jackets/umbrellas near your front door.

Turn it into a couch/sofa like other anon said seems like a good idea too. Have it out the front of your house and close the lid when not in use to protect the seat cushions.

TV stand, build into the cavity a sub and the audio receiver/amp.

A laundry cupboard for your ironing board, even better if the ironing board folds out.

A small, closable bookcase.

A "time out" box for naughty children.

[Anonymous No.1563371]

>>1558890
Save it for whoever has to deal with your body after the eventual suicide

[Anonymous No.1563424]

>>1558890
>get a raspberry pi3 b+\pi camera
>get a control board+motors
>get tensorflow and the needed support
>get object detection api
>train that fucker to spot children
>once child is spotted activate the motors and the casket opens

Godmode
>Train the ML model to spot old people instead

>>1561675
Kys faggot

[Anonymous No.1563649]

>>1561066
I'm not a pro but 6 feet seems to be appropriate. Honestly id rather be buried in a refrigerator and use this for the fridge. Feels about the same guage metal and both have plastic handles.

>>1561172
Maybe. But i van barely get my fat ass in it alone. Haven't tried to shut the lid yet since the damned thing latches and it won't stop raining.

>>1561675
Stop being jealous because I'm having fun. Or at least if you're going to be a little bitch go do it somewhere else. Don't forget your fucking $18 cup of onions coffee and sign protesting capitalism.

"Wait, you forgot to use your $1,000 iPhone to Instagram a pic of the great work you are doing bashing the fascists!"

>>1562924
I knew I'd regret getting rid of that bike... Dammit.

>>1563350
Time out box. Omfg. Good luck explaining you just throw your kids in a casket sometimes. LOL

>>1563371
Nah, not quite done watching all of my friends kill themselves yet. Thanks tho.

>>1563424

Now >>1561675 can't help it if he hates fun. I love it when people call me white trash or redneck like it's an insult. I've learned to have an entire lifetime of fun for the cost of some beer, welding rods, and ammo.

Oh well, no matter how far you go in life you'll always have haters.

Besides. It's not me you hate anon. It's you. Fix that and I'm told you'll be a lot happier.

[Anonymous No.1563890]

Kek