ITT

[Anonymous No.1507999]

funny job site pranks
I’ll start

Secretly setting someone’s mitre saws bevel 1 degree out of square

[Anonymous No.1508003]

report the mexicans to ICE

[Anonymous No.1508011]

Wear an ICE jacket to the site.

[Anonymous No.1508012]

tell ICE where the mexicans have breakfast.

[Anonymous No.1508014]

slap the shit out of some retard that fucks with my saw

[Anonymous No.1508026]

If you're welding stick, replace someone's electrode with a sparkler hehehehe

[Anonymous No.1508027]

>>1507999
thinks someone is dumb enough to cut without checking
>>1508026
thinks a welder is dumb enough to not notice

ITT Idiots

[Anonymous No.1508035]

Depressurize the air compressor. Pinch off hoses. Simple stuff to haze the new guys. Also, tell the crew I ordered lunch for them, but really I contacted ICE.

[Anonymous No.1508042]

Clogging the urinal portalet with toilet paper and garbage. I do it every time I enter one. I'm mexican by the way.

[Anonymous No.1508046]

>>1508042
I'm sure you scrawl some Spanish gibberish too

[Anonymous No.1508062]

My favorite pranks are';

1) Emptying the air compressor of air, and filling it with a small amount of Kerosene through the drain plug. You don't need much - about a liter of Kero in a 150 liter tank will work.
It makes the clutch on sanders slip pretty funny to watch someone sanding lol

2) Replacing the stop solenoid on injector pumps of every truck i the fleet with one that is modified in stuck open position. Takes 3 minutes to replace and it is pretty funny to see people panic when the engine won't turn off.

3) Smearing Kerosene on the regulator on the Oxygen bottle in an Oxy/Acetylene setup.
Very funny because the Kerosene makes the oxygen wet and stop sit from igniting so the operator is just standing there all day with a flint in his hand trying to light it.

4) Switching the blade around on a circular saw so the teeth are facing away from the cut.
Stupid but funny because it takes them a while to notice what's wrong

5) Drain the oil out from the transmission and replace it with a grade of much higher thickness.
It will prevent the transmission from upshifting until the oil heats up.

6) Put some coolant into the fuel tank and it will look like the cylinder head gasket is damaged.

7) Take the back plate on the rear differential off, and weld up the gears.It will cause the rear wheels to bump up and down when the truck takes a corner.

8) Stick a needle in the seat lol so it goes in people's butt cheeks and they make amusing highly comedic noises.

[Anonymous No.1508064]

>>1508062
none of these are funny. you're a psychopath.

[Anonymous No.1508065]

>>1508062

ITT people that should be fired an/or arrested for putting peoples lives in danger over stupid childish bullshit.

if you were on my construction site or job I would kick your ass to the curb so fast you wouldnt know what day it was. piece of shit

[Anonymous No.1508066]

>>1508065
the guys calling ICE for mexicans are actually doing a great public service.

[Anonymous No.1508072]

>>1508064
>>1508065
It's just a prank bro

[Anonymous No.1508081]

>>1508003
This
>>1508011
I wore a border patrol hat and blew a whistle when we had some roofers working alongside us a

[Anonymous No.1508082]

>>1508081
So fuck phoneposting

>at a job site and they all slid down the ladders and ran off
>all of my bros I worked with were disabled with laughter and the rooferbros got a good laugh and we had a few beers with them when the job was done because mexicans like practical jokes
muh multiculti carpentry

[Anonymous No.1508092]

Swap hydrogen into the shielding gas on the MIG welder. Makes it sound like a machine gun just went off in the shop.

Clip some bar joists below a floor where they're about to set down heavy materials. Added bonus of pranking the machine operators working underneath it on the floor below.

When someone locks out a circuit breaker, take a set of bolt cutters to take them off, then activate the breaker. So many funny noises.

Haha lol am I funny yet?
>It's just a prank bro

[Anonymous No.1508106]

>>1508072

>prank

some of this shit is vandalism fucktard

[Anonymous No.1508111]

>>1508082
this poster is the worlds only jewish tradesman

[Anonymous No.1508114]

>when no one is around cut a board full of nails on someone elses saw

>screw the toilet seat closed in the portajohn

>write my x girlfriend's phone number in every portajohn

>take lumber home but tell the foreman that you seen the mexicans load it on their truck

>cut 2 feet off of every hose left on the job to use at home by connecting them together its basically a free 50 foot air line all you got to do it buy the connectors at the home despot

>steal all of the toilet paper so the mexicans have to go to the gas station to shit and stop stinking up the job

>spray high temp silicone on the mexicans brake rotors

>in winter empty out all of the kerosene out of the mexican's torpedo heater and fill it with gas

>piss on the mexicans vehicles

>ocasionaly stick a nail under one of the mexican tires

>become good friends with the mexishits so they dont suspect you

>file bbb reports against every company that hires mexicans

>report the mexicans to ice

>remove the safety pins from the mexicans scaffold

>spray all of the mexican ladders with silicone lube

>drill holes in the mexicans grinding wheels

>steal anything you can take from the mexicans and just burn it

>add sand to the mexicans air compressor oil resiviour

>drill holes in the mexicans coolers

[Anonymous No.1508120]

>>1508114
>put dry ice under the seat of the mexicans truck while they're sleeping so they wake up cold lol. works best with the windows up.

>put fiberglass dust on mexicans dust masks so they steeze a lot haha

>mix mineral oil into oil base paints and primers to make mexican plastidip kek

Mexicers love practical jokes

[Anonymous No.1508122]

>>1508062

1) Emptying the air compressor of air, and filling it with a small amount of Kerosene through the drain plug. You don't need much - about a liter of Kero in a 150 liter tank will work.
It makes the clutch on sanders slip pretty funny to watch someone sanding lol

Yeah that would be called a bomb and no it's not "pretty funny to watch" if a 150L of pressurized air mixed with flammable liquid inside a pressure vessel were to ignite. Fucking idiot asshole.

[Anonymous No.1508123]

>>1508062

>1) Emptying the air compressor of air, and filling it with a small amount of Kerosene through the drain plug. You don't need much - about a liter of Kero in a 150 liter tank will work.
It makes the clutch on sanders slip pretty funny to watch someone sanding lol

Yeah that would be called a bomb and no it's not "pretty funny to watch" if a 150L of pressurized air mixed with flammable liquid inside a pressure vessel were to ignite. Fucking idiot asshole.

[Anonymous No.1508124]

>>1508062
>1 and 3
>just a fuel air bomb big enough to take out a building bro no biggie

[Anonymous No.1508133]

Putting a dog doo in front of someone's fan

[Anonymous No.1508178]

>>1508133
What happens if the shit hits the fan?

[Anonymous No.1508183]

>>1508014
lul

[Anonymous No.1508185]

>>1507999

So we popped out the vent in the dash of a old chevy work truck and put an open can of sardines in the dash and popped the vent back in on a thursday night for a funny Friday lunch surprise.

well the driver of the called out that friday so the can sat in the truck for three days with 100F+ days...

the real surprise was in store for him that Monday morning when he cracked that door open and about passed out on the ground

[Anonymous No.1508235]

Some of the machinists at my shop told one of the engineering interns they needed an air sample and made him swing trash bags around and try to tie them up to seal the air in.

[Anonymous No.1508254]

>>1507999
Secretly loosening the arbor bolt on all circular saws

[Anonymous No.1508255]

Told a new airplane mechanic girl I needed some random number length of flight line. Joke was on me within a month she had me on my knees kissing her boots for starbursts; cool dominatrix chick.

[Anonymous No.1508282]

Giant zip tie on the driveshaft of a pickup truck.. sounds like something’s super broken when driving.. one guy at our company used construction adhesive to glue a desk phone to its receiver...

[Anonymous No.1508398]

>>1508235
>dumb machinist thinks he pranked some intern even though he is dumb as rock

[Anonymous No.1508407]

>showing up on time and doing the job I'm paid to do
Gets those faggots every time

[Anonymous No.1508417]

>>1508185
You threw the truck in the trash after that right?

[Anonymous No.1508529]

>>1507999
At my job you will get your ass canned for doing this shit. Because the shit we make isn't cheap and run large number of parts per hour.

>Some one offsets a tool in the machine
>The machine crashes or the part is out of spec

Machine crashes
>Machine is down till it gets fixed
>A lot of money is spent to get it fixed
>End up getting behind on orders
>Have to work 7 days a week hoping to get caught up


Part out of spec
>Check part every one to two hours
>You come back from break, running parts
>One/Two hours are up, check part and do check sheet
>Shit is out of spec
>Stop and go back to check parts before till you find one that is in spec
>Scrap parts that are out of spec
>Explain to your supervisor what happen

[Anonymous No.1508531]

>>1508072
>It's just a prank bro
What are you? 13?

>Almost hit someone with my car
>It's just a prank police officer

>Take someones credit/debt card
>Spend all what you can
>It's just a prank judge

>Spray paint someones car
>It's just a prank police officer

>Stab someone in the leg
>Just a prank .........

Fuckin people think a lot of shit is harmless but it can fuck with people and/or cost a lot of money because retards think it's "fun" or "funny".

[Anonymous No.1508534]

>>1507999
>Secretly setting someone’s mitre saws bevel 1 degree out of square
That's not funny. That can cause someone to have to completely redo a job and lose a ton of money.

[Anonymous No.1508549]

>>1508065
aww is calling ICE cutting into your margins there project manager?

[Anonymous No.1508552]

>Mix in a box of pancake mix into a drywallers mud mix
>Asshole spends the whole day trying to figure out what was going on
>Do it again the next day

You been cake'd lol

[Anonymous No.1508558]

>>1508552
>You been cake'd lol

unless it's his first day, he'd be "this looks funny", "shit, it smells funny too", (scoop some up) "and it feels funny too". Where's that joker so I can kick his ass again.

You been Miguel'd, lol.

[Anonymous No.1508616]

>>1507999
I knew a guy who powdered his crotch with baby powder all the time. Emptied the baby powder and replaced it with pancake mix. He thought it expired.

[Anonymous No.1508622]

>>1508066
Lol, they'll bankrupt the builder you're working for through lost contracts and/or higher operating costs.

[Anonymous No.1508641]

Has anyone here done work through one of these services? They're sort of like Uber but for handymen, cleaning ladies etc.

Handy is the only one that doesn't require you to be insured, but it has a bad rep of screwing over contractors.

Any handymen have experience with these type of setups?

I have a ton of tools and experience but I'm sick of working for general contractors and want to strike out on my own. I don't have the cash right now to get my GC license but I'm working on getting liability insurance.

[Anonymous No.1508728]

>>1508531
Relax bro. Pranks can be claimed as expenses.
A company can get a lot of tax breaks that way. Just try it your boss will love you.

[Anonymous No.1508816]

>offer to take the Mexicans to taco bell for cinco de mayo or some shit.
>drive them to the police station instead.

[Anonymous No.1508839]

>work in gunshop
>phone rings
>draw my charter arms bulldog and put it to my ear
>say hello
>wrong number
>click

[Anonymous No.1508863]

cut all the corners off the drywall before its hung
sawdust in the finishers mud
Sharpie on the unpainted walls so the painters need to coat it 5 times so it stops bleeding through
tap the electricians mud rings to 10-32 randomly through out the job
let the air out of the plumbers pipes when they are on air test
put a few drops of water under the fire sprinkler heads when they are doing an inspection, point it out to the inspector

[Anonymous No.1509542]

>>1508863
>put a few drops of water under the fire sprinkler heads when they are doing an inspection, point it out to the inspector
Like that one

[Anonymous No.1509543]

>>1508114

[Anonymous No.1509550]

electrify the mexican's scaffolding

[Anonymous No.1509565]

cut the short ends of plywood 5-10 degrees off-square, making it a parallelogram. It'll cut down on the table saw and look normal until they try to install it.

[Bepis Jr !!xkAqDWWriEy No.1509570]

Hey mr trips! I dont think you should be playing any jokes around power tools peace out!

[Anonymous No.1509572]

>>1509542
>walk into office.
>guy left his lunch bag open on table.
>$2 inside
>move $2 from main compartment to side compartment

Devilish

[Anonymous No.1509599]

>>1508255
Funny enough, latest domme I met had boots that smelled like avgas.

[Anonymous No.1509604]

>>1508082
Why are you in the trades and not in banking?

[Anonymous No.1509631]

>mexicans always talk shit about about spicy food
>spike mexicans food with pure capsaicin
>they're choking and burning
>Get ICE for them

[Anonymous No.1509648]

>>1507999
Live in border state, close to border.
Deliver building supplies, sometimes a boom or conveyor belt to upper floors/roof, other times a piggyback drop on the ground.
Friday afternoons always get a 5 or 6 pm rooftop an hour from home, never ready always wait, delivery done with floodlight.
Call Border Patrol, we have regular road stops for checks, tell the address, roofer name. Always has 10-12 illegals.
BP shows up 15-20 minutes into delivery, arrest everyone, shut down the job, I toss the single bundles in the driveway and split.
Sometimes I call this cities Zoning Department also, no major businesses, bedroom suburb, most income from tickets and fees.
This town requires permits to add or remove landscaping, paint your house, power wash your walls, anything on outside of house.
They show up with BP, make everyone exit house, RedTag home, tell them to show on Monday nto get permit, pay fine usually 10x the permit cost. They send police by on weekends to make sure no one enters home.
Stripped to bare wood roof, usually, materials non ground, roofers at processing center, Monsoon Storms rolling in.
Occasionally I will whisper to the Zoning Guy that the roofers license number is really his driver's license number, he has no contractor license.

Lots of fun.
Don't do it all the time, about once every few weeks, I do 10 to 12 deliveries a day.
No roofers or manual laborers in my city who are white, none. Well there is one, all of his guys are methers, drunks, child molesters, one guy is missing his nose and a hand, they shit and piss off the roof, contractor picks many of them up on Monday from the county lockup.
No white guys around here will do a tar mop down in the summer, none.
Helping rid my state of Illegals on Jobsite at a time.

[Anonymous No.1509672]

>>1509648
doing gods work anon
imagine how fucking high wages would be if all the mexishits got sent back
boomers would actually have to pay real money for work

[Anonymous No.1509955]

>>1508027
>he thinks anyone working these jobs has an IQ above 110

[Anonymous No.1510204]

>>1508082
>Mexicans like practical jokes
Can confirm they sure do.

[Anonymous No.1510220]

>>1508417

nope boss was to cheap for that the smell dissipated after a couple of weeks.......

[Anonymous No.1510266]

>>1507999
That's not a prank, but a dick move, dude will fuck up material which costs money.

[Anonymous No.1510299]

>>1508407
I like this post.

[Anonymous No.1510300]

I hid carpenters drill bits up my rectum t. Electrician

[Anonymous No.1510313]

>>1508065
>ITT people that should be fired an/or arrested for putting peoples lives in danger over stupid childish bullshit.

Calm down oldtimer, is just a little bit of fun.
Nobody should work if you don`t want to, and work should be enjoyable, manual work even more so, since is so excausting.
Nothing wrong in making your workplace more fun.

[Anonymous No.1510318]

>>1507999
Czeched!

>spray ether while a bro is welding.
>brake parts cleaner on a razor knife.
Melts the plastic
>hold metal up while bro is welding and remove when he takes hood off to look
>welderbro take hat off to weld.
Hide hat in his lunchbox
>lighter and brake parts cleaner at someones feet.
>quietly block shitter door or if inward swinging door pile shit onto the door.
>put mountain boomers in lunch box
>greese wiper blades amd door handles
>giant zip tie on drive shaft
>bailing wires a bunch of washers and shit to exhaust so it rattles
>jack car up until tires dont touch
>pull off tailgate and hide
>fake parking tickets

Dunno. Got more i am sure. I haven't slept in a week. (Noises and assholes bitching at me not drugs.)

[Anonymous No.1510320]

>>1508003
Take the stack of pallets by the fence first.

[Anonymous No.1510321]

>>1508026
LOL

[Anonymous No.1510322]

>>1508027
Anon, i have met some pretty fucking ignorant welders

[Anonymous No.1510323]

>>1508042
Fucking figures...

[Anonymous No.1510338]

>>1508046
>be me
>get plastic shitbox delivery because law
>shit outside because gross plastic shitbox, rats, and spiders, and wasps...
>freezing rain
>cannot find bag
>cannot find bucket
>try to shit outside in icestorm
>bite it twice and mearly shit myself.
>sigh.jpg
>sac up and ski into porta shitter
>tearing off all 47 layers of clothes to shit
>look up
>small detailed (had to be a dremel) engraving of a porta shitter with fire comming from the bottom, a launch pad and a mexican flag on top. Scrawled underneath it were the words

"Mexican Pace Shittle #14"
And in smaller letters it lists 3 porta shitter companies and says for 1-13 please see above.

Top fucking kek

FUCK MEXICO

[Anonymous No.1510340]

>>1508065
I missed it. Wtf he say

[Anonymous No.1510341]

>>1508066
THIS. Try and get records or get them to sign for cash pay. Call the irs first.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION PUNTAS!

Get. The. Fuck. Out.

[Anonymous No.1510346]

>>1508081
AHAHAHA!

soooo getting an ice jacket, and making exact copy of local security guard car with green and yellow. Impersonating a cop is a felony. Larping as security that looks like a cop somewhat aint.

Going to make an llc to hold 1 rental house. Name it something that can use ICE as an acronym and put it in small letters under giant ICE on back of jacket and front of hat.

Watch, record, laugh, dox any of them that come back. Show it to ice.


Shit... how to make a bro at ice? I will do my patriotic duty and dox all of the illegals i find so he can look like a badass and get up the ranks as we Make America Great Again!

[Anonymous No.1510347]

>>1508092
Kek. Same happens when torch head gets to hot

[Anonymous No.1510352]

>>1508092
>be my faggot boss
>always shrieking because hes a little faggot with a napoleon complex
>been there 10 years but sure.. You know better
>goes to lock out a belt
>bossman that aint the right one and that box has a short
>FIX IT FIX IT REEEEEE
>nope.jpg
>way above my paygrade KEK
>reeeeee!
>procedes to grab breaker box panel standing in a foot of water
>pop.gif
>REEEEEEEEEEE!
>opens it with a stick
>turns to reee at us because this is how you lock shit out when it's fucked up and has a short
>james his sausage fingers into the breaker box
>lock blows up in his hand
>fuck near kill himself
>3 of us 6 guys car pool and had a serious talk.

It's fucked. If he got grabbed up i was the only one who would tackle or even try to save him. He was such a cuck the other two would watch him burn and laugh.

[Anonymous No.1510355]

>>1508114
Anon, i approve of all methods here that don't cause physical harm.

You are doing your country proud anon. I both respect you amd thank you.

Never stop

[Anonymous No.1510357]

>>1508133
A co worker got wrote uo one time. A faggot used to thread pipe at work alone in a tin cuckshead with a wood stove.

Coworker shit on a red shop rag and when cuck went to hit the john he threw shitrag into wood stove.

We were not prepared for the smell. I gagged and puked with 2 others and went home.

Never laughed so hard in my life.

And in case anyone feels bad for pipethreader cuck dont. He's in prison for kiddy diddlin. Fuck him

[Anonymous No.1510358]

>>1508531
>Spray paint someones car

Acetone cuck

[Anonymous No.1510359]

>>1508549
Hehehehe

[Anonymous No.1510361]

>>1508622
Good. Anyone wanna fuck one up in wichita. I used to work for a real cocksucker and would die laughing if he went under. His kids are all grown and well off. Fuck him

[Anonymous No.1510362]

>>1508863
How much psi is plumbing tested at anons?

Wish to know for my own ghetto ass unliscensed shit.

And don't worry. There are no zoning or code laws here and anything i do is replacing 50+ year old pipes.

Not 3rd world but close.

Flyover land

[Anonymous No.1510363]

>>1509631
UNDERRATED POST

[Anonymous No.1510364]

>>1509648
DOING YOUR COUNTRY PROUD ANON.

NEVER FUCKING STOP.

[Anonymous No.1510365]

>>1509672
No shit.

At the very least faggot bpomers who were to stupid to plan for retirement wouldnt be fighting their college degreed grandkids for a job at mcdicks.

Melenials could actually get a tast of shit work and plan for a good job instead of mooching until masters degree and wonder where all the free money is just because u got a degree

[Anonymous No.1510366]

>>1510313
Can agree so long as nobody gets hurt.

[Anonymous No.1510691]

>>1508616
I was a cook for years, and everyone had a thing of corn starch for our crotches, and one time we swapped the new guy's with some flour. He was pissed at us for days, but an excellent joker, that mother fucker got every single one of us back in a unique way. I was impressed.

[Anonymous No.1510692]

>>1509572

[Anonymous No.1510699]

>>1508062
extremely based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.1510772]

>>1508255
>Tell new mechs to go get a bucket of jet wash.

[Anonymous No.1510775]

My boss intentionally leaves messes for me to clean up and verbally degrades me.

Jokes on him, I never fucked with his food.

[Anonymous No.1510784]

>>1508042
>Clogging the urinal portalet with toilet paper and garbage.
>I'm mexican by the way.
Seeing the decrepit state of a portaloo after a mexican takes a proper shit, you're doing them a favor.

[Anonymous No.1510802]

>>1510772
>Tell new mechs to go get a bucket of jet wash.

AV-8 from Spray Nine

- Provides a broad range of cleaning on aircraft exteriors and aerospace ground equipment (AGE)
- Conforms to Boeing D6-17487 Rev. P, Douglas CSD-1, AMS 1526B and MIL-PRF 87937 type IV

Available now in 5 Gal bucket at The Home Depot.

[Anonymous No.1510937]

>>1510318
>I haven't slept in a week. (Noises and assholes bitching at me not drugs.)
It's just a prank bro, lighten up

[Anonymous No.1511061]

>>1508282
they can be a real bitch to cut off too.
Put small zip tie near fan blade so that it makes a bunch of noise once the fan turns on which is normally down the road aways.
Put power seat all the way forward and pull the fuse.

[Anonymous No.1511069]

>>1509648
You are doing your country proud anon.

[Anonymous No.1511337]

>>1509550
lol
>chinesenervegas.webm

[Keyhopper No.1511793]

>>1507999
Run a wire through the car frame from the brake light to his horn.
Step on brakes the horn blows.

[Keyhopper No.1511808]

>>1508042
If the jiffy John isn't cleaned properly we pile the toilet paper in the corner, put a lit cigarette in a pack of matches, sit back and watch the flames.

[Keyhopper No.1511825]

>>1507999
Remove all his food from his lunch box then bolt it to the floor. Put all the food back in.
Jack up his car and put a CBS block under the differential.
Tap his gas feed and return lines to his engine. He'll go nuts fixing it.
Put a fish in his hubcap.
Put a pound of Limburger cheese on his manafold.
Put dish soap in his windshield wiperfluid container.
Superglue the locks on the gang box.
Superglue the hinges on all his ladders.
Turn his gloves inside out, paint the with pipe dope, then turn the back.
Bath soap on his windows.
Take three lugnuts off each tire.
Put lock tight on every lug nut the crank them on tight.
I'm one of these people you don't start this game with.
Keyhopper

[Anonymous No.1511833]

>>1511808
no you don't

[Anonymous No.1511839]

>>1511808

what part of san francisco calls it a jiffy john

[Anonymous No.1511842]

>>1511825
>is trip
>signs post with trip name
End yourself, you attention seeking whore.

[Anonymous No.1511849]

>>1511842

new? that's not a trip.

[Keyhopper No.1511970]

>>1511842
If you mix bleach and ammonia it will really clean your bathroom nicely.
Give it a try

[Anonymous No.1511993]

>>1510362
Idk, im not a plumber... I think they do their drains at around 12 psi here.
When I get a co worker who takes lots of shit breaks I screw their tool bags to the floor or sometimes hide it up in the rafters and pack up all the ladders and leave.

[Anonymous No.1512023]

>>1508531
Also gtfo

[Anonymous No.1513031]

I was fitting pipe guides for a structural welder on steel beams, everything was soaking wet from the rain, every time he had to change his rods he had to take the ground clamp off or he would get a shock, so naturally I would touch the ground to the beam right when the rod touched his stinger. Lmao

[Anonymous No.1513392]

Had a clown working with us I called "Stands Around" he would walk off and talk on his phone in the middle of a pour (concrete) well chewing his ass didn't work and the lame ass owner wouldn't fire him. So one day I filled his gum boots with expanding foam and threw them back in the bed of his truck. Next day we had a 20 yrd. pour and he had no boots so he quit.

[Anonymous No.1514178]

>>1509648

>no white people will work in the summer
>get rid of all the minorities
>houses just fall apart because no one will work on them
nice plan retard

[Anonymous No.1514189]

club someone in the neck with a plank as hard as I can

[Anonymous No.1514191]

>>1514178
Where do people like you live? I know lots of people who professionally work roofing in the summer, even when they're not supposed to according to regulations (heat waves).

[Anonymous No.1514217]

>>1508027

>thinks someone is dumb enough to cut without checking

Do you recheck everytime you turn your back to the saw to pick up another piece of lumber?

[Anonymous No.1514235]

>>1508816
good one, i laughed

[Anonymous No.1514239]

>>1511061

I was about to do that to my friend but for a cocky small man syndrome type fella he is actually such a depressed little faggot and his car was already giving him more problems that his lazy ass could handle that he would have probably suduko'd half way down the drive

[C¤©¤ℕυͳ !!ejZnhfeYlll No.1514391]

Baby powder in heat vents
Tape breakfast sandwich under the passenger seat

[Anonymous No.1514415]

>>1509572

[Anonymous No.1514416]

>>1514217
>fiber optic splicer
I check when my finger moves six inches down the same ribbon of fiber.

[Anonymous No.1514840]

>>1508728
Your a dick sucking faggot. I bet you suck your bosses dick behind the factory on break.

[Anonymous No.1514869]

>>1514178
>Have to pay regulations, fees, salary taxes
>Illegals don't
>Charge enough to pay everyone a fair wage and pay for all regulations, fees, taxes
>Illegals don't
>Live in Boomer economy
>Everyone chooses illegals over you
You seem to think a labor shortage is because of a lack of people who want the career. You are wrong.

[Anonymous No.1514887]

>>1508529
Douche. I bet you don't even indicate the parts in. You just push the cycle start button lol

[Anonymous No.1514906]

Not a prank but a good story
>summer job at mill sorting lumber
>power goes out in part of the mill
>call in sparky
>sparky working away
>all of a sudden older co worker runs at him full tilt with a 2x4
>breaks sparkys arm
Turns out sparky had dropped his measuring tape down his coveralls and was shaking it out his pant leg while still holding onto the wall and coworker thought he was being electrocuted

[Anonymous No.1515364]

>>1514906
That's actually pretty hilarious to imagine. Sucks about his arm, I guess it's good to know that people have got your back?

[Anonymous No.1515384]

>>1514906
Fuckin sparks lad.

Also If anyone fucked my chopsaw i would take a finger.

[Anonymous No.1515399]

>>1508255
Did she peg you?

[Anonymous No.1515402]

>>1510220
Periods are useful

>>1509648
Do you just drive around delivering shit? How is the pay?

[Anonymous No.1515415]

Giving people left hand fluted drill bits and looking at them like they're retarded when they can't drill a simple hole

The ol' pretend to get electrocuted while touching anything electrical routine

[Anonymous No.1515422]

>>1515415
>left hand fluted drill bits

I'm old enough to remember when reversing drills were new, and were called VSR for variable speed reversing. I was working in a textile mill and had to drill a hole, and burned up a few bits before I realized it was a reversing drill and someone had left the switch in reverse.

[Anonymous No.1515423]

>>1515422
>were called VSR for variable speed reversing.

derp. they still call them that.

[Anonymous No.1515445]

>>1515423
Huh, thanks for the post. I just learned that these bits are supposed to be used slowly for maximum effectiveness. I've always just used them in a standard drill/driver had mediocre luck backing out screws

[Anonymous No.1515737]

>>1515415
>be anon
>get a name for fake electrocution prank
>get real electrocution
>listen to mates laughing as your tendons rip from your muscles
Just a prank dood

[Anonymous No.1515915]

>>1507999
Connect the hot side of an electrical cord to a metal sink basin

[Anonymous No.1515938]

>>1508616
kek

[Anonymous No.1515951]

>>1510357
hehe nice

[Anonymous No.1516408]

>>1507999
Send the rookie off to find the board stretcher

[Anonymous No.1516434]

I lay the foundation exactly 6 inches to the left

[Anonymous No.1516475]

>that one day I 3D printed a bunch of drill bits, painted them silver, and scattered them around the office.

[Anonymous No.1516829]

>>1508042
>work in building maintenance
>business calls in, their toilet is clogged
>go snake the toilet
>snake out a scrub brush that somebody managed to stuff down the drain
>mfw a customer (or disgruntled employee) actually did this shit

[Anonymous No.1517947]

>foreman is in hospital for hip replacement
>fuck his wife
Never gets old.

[Anonymous No.1518028]

>>1516475
That's bretty gud

[Anonymous No.1518238]

>>1507999
Unplug handheld belt sander and latch trigger in 'on' position.

See if carpenter plugs it back in before checking switch.

[Anonymous No.1518284]

>>1515402
Job ended year ago
Company eliminated all company drivers
Now they use a temp agency that supplies drivers and trucks as needed
No more jobsite deliveries
I was making 21.50 when the job ended
Worked a full 70 per week for 10 years
No sick pay, 2 weeks (10 days) vacation per year, from the CEO to the lowest paid worker
Medical was great, full dental, eye and no copays, free for myself, $25 per payday for family
Company owner died and the board of directors started selling off parts of the company
I worked for the distribution side the main (international) company made a couple of products that centered on glass, they dumped everything that did not pretain to their core
I got hurt at work, tore my shoulder apart, skin, bone, muscle, tendons
Took a year of rehab to be able to raise my arm above my waist
I kept working, the got me an automatic semi, got a helper to tie down load, mainly flatbed work
When I got the go ahead to return to full work, my job was dumped a week later
Live in a state that allows firing for any or no reason
Got a lawyer he wanted 10k to start with no guarantees
Now I work for an instate movie/tv studio, moving equipment/trailers to location shoots in my state
Pay is a lot better and so are the benefits, every truck is changed out after 1 year, get to eat from the service tents too
Glad I used all my overtime from the other job to make principal payments 2x a month on mortgage, got it paid off before the job went away

Still calling in on illegals that some of the sub contractors use, they stand out like ore thumbs with all the LA people on these sets, all black clothes and gelled hair verses Wranglers, gingham, and pull on work boots, plus the tortillas and Fanta

[Anonymous No.1518342]

>>1514178
Ah yes. Mexicans are the only ones who work. That's why Mexico is so beautiful and maintained while Europe and the Midwest are dilapidated shitholes.

[Anonymous No.1518929]

>>1510318

> fake parking tickets

> be me, in a black town
> be at a ghetto house party hanging outside
> look at everyones cars, see yellow paper on each windshield
> aw shit, they’re parking tickets
> wanna help, start yelling to everyone chilling near the door that they got parking citations
> go to my car to look at my ticket
> on the description part it reads “bein a bomb ass nigga”
> comments section has an address for some dudes mixtape release party
> a few niggas around me start laughing at my peckerwood ass, others suck their teeth and mumble about the dumbass that brought them outside as they go back
> I gtfo

FUCK was I embarrassed that night, I fucking hate having no common sense

[Anonymous No.1519742]

The sparkys on my last job had a game where they'd make a dick out of something like a paint stirrer and zip tie it to people's trucks. One guy had one on his ladder for about six weeks.

[Anonymous No.1520140]

>>1507999
I read this a week ago and didn’t comment. I spent last week doing base and case at two houses and meditated on your post.
I would kick the shit out of you for ruining hundreds of dollars in stain grade wood. Not likely you’d get away with it, with all the angles I had to cut. Shitty people like you need uthanized.

[Anonymous No.1520155]

>>1508816
Holy kek

[Anonymous No.1520158]

>>1510346
You can wear a fucking ICE jacket just don't LARP as if you're actually ICE. Haven't you ever seen people with FBI hats?

[Anonymous No.1520172]

>>1508114
>drill holes into mexicans

[Anonymous No.1520306]

>>1510338
>"Mexican Pace Shittle #14"

[Anonymous No.1520342]

>>1519742
>>1507999
When I was in the Army we would extend the booms on forklifts and draw dicks on them. When the boom was retracted you couldn't see it. One day we had some Major and a Sergeant Major loafing around "inspecting" us and someone extended the boom in front of them. After they could contain their laughter from seeing random 20ft penises they gave us a lecture about how females could be offended or whatever. Pic is forklift.

[Anonymous No.1520498]

>>1509572
You sir, are out of control.

[Whodoneit No.1520512]

>>1508027
I've been working in the welding industry for 10years. That prank probably has a 100 percent success rate

[Anonymous No.1520715]

>>1507999
>>1508082
>>1508114
why do you hate the mexicans?

[Anonymous No.1520792]

>>1520715
One of em shot my girlfriend on a pier and got away with it because his lawyer argued hes too stupid to hold the gun he just picked up from his dealer.

[Anonymous No.1520800]

>>1511793
>>1511825
Top Gear best gear

[Anonymous No.1521012]

>>1520792
You should really hate the lawyer as well.

[Anonymous No.1521428]

>>1508120
Subtle murder plans you got there

[Anonymous No.1521538]

>>1520792
Did you try civil litigation since clearly the DA was shit.

[Beppokowski No.1521556]

>>1515402
>>1518284
Dude I used to work with drove a flatbed around for Home Depo and said it was a dope job. He had the forklift piggyback deal and he never once had to open his wallet to pay for lunch because people would always tip him. Then I guess they contracted it out to another company and the benefits and pay all went to shit.

Dude was a bullshitter though so who knows. Like 6mos after he quit, he called me trying to recruit me to this new company so he could get his bonus. Fuck that, if a company needs recruiters to get new employees, it can’t be that great.

[Anonymous No.1521560]

I drill holes in people when they sleep haha

[Anonymous No.1521561]

>>1511842
>trip
Newfag

[Anonymous No.1521571]

>>1521012
>>1521538
Hes homeless, what am I going to get, his crack pipe?

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/jose-ines-garcia-zarate-san-francisco-pier-killing-suspect-found-n823351

[Anonymous No.1521594]

>>1520715
They drag down the economy and wages because they're willing to do shit jobs for shit wages instead of asking for decent wages for shit jobs because they're desperate. They also shit everywhere and throw used toilet paper on the ground. Most are very disgusting people and live 3-4 families to a house and tear up the entire house before moving out and repeating.

If you have no experience with these people then you should get some and then understand why everyone hates them so much.

[Anonymous No.1521675]

Had a coworker who would fart on people’s food constantly. She would take it out drop trou rip ass package it back up and put it away. She did it to nearly everyone

[Anonymous No.1521678]

>>1511825
>Im one of these people you dont start this game with

No, you're one of the people that end up getting knocked the fuck out on the job for messing with other peoples shit.

[Anonymous No.1521895]

>>1508123
Oh calm the fuck down. Its fucking kerosene not gas and the only time it could possibly vent to the compressor is when it is pushing air down. NOTHINGinvolved gets hot enough to ignite besides the motor brishes and kerosene fumes don't just explode.

Shut the fuck uo if you are going to be retarded

[Anonymous No.1521897]

Get vacumn line and fittings kit from car parts store. Disconnect washer fuid hoe and run to the bottom of your wheel well pointed up at about 45° angle. Pit fitting on the end and neck the line down around pencil lead sized. Fill reservoir with aircraft paint remover. Drive by entire worksite spraying cars. Go to you job 20 miles away.

>OP didn't say it had to be your work site!

Lol epic prank broooooo.


Bonus points for water balloons full of the works toilet bowl cleaner abd chucking at alumanin rims

[Anonymous No.1521899]

Had a guy that left his tools lay everywhere
always walking around looking for his snips, hammer, pencil
when I found them I hammered em into the ground. I nailed his pouches to the sub floor told him he didnt need them

[Anonymous No.1521948]

>>1508003
High level prank artisan here.

[Anonymous No.1523361]

Fucking around on a job site is a bad idea in general. Even a small prank could unintentionally compromise safety or mess with how quickly the job gets done. Don't do that shit.

[Anonymous No.1523395]

>>1508026
What would that do?

[Anonymous No.1523414]

>>1523395
it would set off a gay welder parade

[Anonymous No.1523534]

>>1521556
>he never once had to open his wallet to pay for lunch because people would always tip him
I don't understand. He never put the tip in his wallet and then had lunch? Why not? That's wierd jew shit or something.

[Anonymous No.1523746]

>>1510266
Worse yet, it goes unnoticed and the structure is "completed".

[Anonymous No.1523819]

>>1521561
>Doesn't know the difference between a namefag and a tripfag
Newestfag

[Anonymous No.1525333]

>>1521594
>i don't know how immigration works for economy

[Anonymous No.1525421]

>>1507999
>Secretly setting someone’s mitre saws bevel 1 degree out of square

[Anonymous No.1525767]

>>1523746

if the inspector doesn't catch it and signs off anyway it's now his fault.

[Anonymous No.1525775]

>>1507999
I'd love to lob you with 4x2 for fun too

[Anonymous No.1526605]

>Blast compressed air up coworkers anus

[Anonymous No.1526628]

>>1526605
Don't do this it makes mustard gas

[Anonymous No.1526652]

>>1526605
My father always talks about the time someone died in the garage he worked at when someone did that to someone else. Evidently, the guy bled to death when the blast of air ruptured his colon.

[Anonymous No.1527019]

>>1514178
No white people will work in the summer for $5 an hour.
People want their shit fixed? They're gonna need to pay more than that.

[Anonymous No.1527033]

>>1527019
>People want their shit fixed? They're gonna need to pay more than that.

Hard to do that when the white man is getting paid slave wages

[Anonymous No.1527049]

>>1511825
>>1508114
>>1510318

i would just call the cops and file a police report for vandalism, work smarter not harder