paranoid thread

[Anonymous No.1438860]

Alrighty /diy/, here's a hypothetical.

You have a small 3room/4room apartment.
you know one thing, is that you have to secure it as much as possible, be it from the average jamal, all the way to a couple of organized professionals picking your lock at night to shoot you in the head with a suppressed .22

you have a somewhat tight budget (600-650)

explain how you would go about making the most of that raggedy budget (ASIDE FROM A GUN).

[Anonymous No.1438887]

>>1438860

>aside from a gun.

Quit being a citycuck. I am almost 40. All 3 cars have the keys in them, unlocked, and i have never locked my house. Hell, i don't even think we have a key for the deadbolt and just now trying it the damned thing jammed half open. Had to beat it back in with a hammer.

The only thing we ever got stolen was a burned up cd player and that was in another town.

Forgot to lock it there...

________________________

As far as diy security deterant is first step. "Home security from adt installed" sticker on the door.

When i lived in wichita i found dead olt locks at a yard sale and tore them apart. Used Velcro to stick the outside part of 4 of them on the door.

Wanted to fale being a vet but felt bad so had a fake warning decal about being a retired cop with PTSD. Please have hands where i can see them and no fast movements after knocking. Etc.

Used a bunch of meme alarms and shit inside.


Tbw hidden wifi cams are the best

[Anonymous No.1438891]

>>1438887
>Quit being a citycuck.
That's not the point, i excluded guns because half the people who browse this board already have one or totally unable to get one, so the scope of this thread was physical security AKA cams, what locks to buy, window reinforcements, security glass, fences, best places to set up cams, etc.

[Anonymous No.1438892]

A steel plate along the door frame will stop an entire SWAT team trying to boot in your door. Theres also security films for your widows that'll give you a few extra minutes, or totally deter if theyre not that motivated. Protecting against lock picks would be as easy as tapping a couple holes on the side of the deadbolt, installing two pegs, and then popping a flat bar across. Bonus points if you attach it to one of the pegs with a chain.

[Anonymous No.1438897]

>>1438860
op is your apartment on the ground floor? Is there some fire escape? I used to live in nyc, and had a shitty apartment, but it was high up (5 floors). Two windows had fire escape access so I installed bars on the windows and a fire escape lattice on the other window.

Never had anyproblems. Pro secret make sure you [redacted].

medico locks are good anti pick, but most burgs occur with forced entry at the most vulnerable spot. If window not accessible from the ground floor, you have to secure the front door.

I now live in a 94 percent [redacted] population, and I actually left my front door unlocked accidentally.
BTW: budgeet for the window things was like 400 with install, but you can do it yourself.

Baring that, Get an illegal gun, clean and service it, test it. Shoot the intruder, rub perp hand on the gun and call the cops. Tell them you fought the perp for the gun, and fired becuase she or he did not retreat when you obtained the upper hand.

[Anonymous No.1438898]

>>1438892
>Buy 1000+$ door
>Still have all single pane windows
>Backdoor is hollow wood
>Garage is thin pressed steel
>They steal my cars wheels

[Anonymous No.1438925]

Security is mostly used for 3 reasons:

1) To stop someone from doing something
2) To slow someone down
3) To monitor events

You can use 2 ways:

1) Physical/material protection
2) Psychological influence

[Anonymous No.1438929]

>harden up every entry door (14g sheet steel min. on bolt/latch side, 4" #10 screws for h/w through both sides of frame and into studs, best door and deadbolt budget allows and no faggot ass glass in the door or to either side of door)
>security film for all glass (sliders, windows) and installed correctly
That right there will afford even the slowest of invalids to grab a weapon and notify le of situation before structure is breached.

[Anonymous No.1438943]

>>1438860
>budget 650
Buy a sleeping bag and tent. Sleep somewhere different every night. Abandon the house and save money

[Anonymous No.1438945]

Story OP

[Anonymous No.1438946]

>>1438860
Move. If they're willing to do all that shit nothing's stopping them from just lighting the place on fire and burning you out.

>>1438943
This if you're worried about being pursued via paper trail, such as a lease at another place.

[Anonymous No.1438951]

>>1438860
>lights out at night
>bear traps
>caltropes
>high caliber firearm to get through kevlar
>homemade napalm (gasoline+styrofoam) flamethrower/incendiary grenade as a last stand to make sure they don't get out alive
>night vision for you

[Anonymous No.1438960]

>>1438860
get some aquariums and keep pufferfish to source tetrodotoxin as needed
get a mannequin or 2 to set up as though someones sleeping under blanket on couch and/or bed
sleep on the floor in a closet that has a chair with shit piled on it in front of it.
take bulbs out of lights and replace with loud sirens
keep gel mixed with tetrodotoxin covering needles, razorwire, or floor tacking set up where a spook would step or put their hands if coming in to off you, and on the lightswitches
a spook tries to turn on the switch, gets poisoned and sets off loud ass siren

Realistic shit:
To secure the door itself, put a few big ass hooks into the framing around it, put bars or boards across, so that door can't be opened or kicked in, hang long coats on top hooks on both sides so that landlord/maintenance guys wouldn't see you put those in
windows, you have to put bars on the inside, outside of the window frame then covered with thick curtains. outside you just see blinds. Inner curtains hide bars from landlord/etc so they don't see the shit you did
replace bulbs with strobe/siren combination to alert people if someone enters and turns on light while you are away
use mounting tape to put door sensors on jamb of bedroom, set to trigger strobes and sirens aimed at anyone that did manage to get in and come through the door while you are in the room
have loud dog barking noise that plays in response to noise as well as a random couple of barks here every so often
you might even sleep in the bathtub, securing the bathroom and giving a little shielding against bullets from drivebys

you'd be better off just renting a place but not sleeping there. use it to eat/shower/laundry/keep your shit, but at night when you get home, sneak back out through a window set to latch when closed and go sleep somewhere else
sign up for junk mail/free samples etc with a couple of extra names so it appears other people live there with you

Did you find hillary's missing emails or something?

[Anonymous No.1438963]

>>1438951
Crime doesn't pay.
You'll get it in the end.

[Anonymous No.1438966]

>>1438963
>someone breaks into your private property, your home, your castle
>somehow you are the criminal for defending yourself
Hello there fellow European.

[Anonymous No.1439063]

>>1438943
>>1438946
what, why? considering you already have a gun:

>three (front porch, back-house, and somewhere else you prefer) cameras are like what, 50 dollars each?
>okay-ish security glass, for 3 to 5 windows, 200-250?
>a nigrigged motion sensor light (this should alone deter 99% of OP's "average jamals", not sure about the motivated type he's talking about though), about 50 bucks?
>100 dollars and blow it on a decent door-frame and lock
you have a 100 left, use it to buy (or preferably make) a door alarm, because cameras are worthless when you're sleeping, this should help against the sneakyprofessional type trying to pick your lock OP's talking about

this setup might be a little ghetto but it'll work, unless the guy who's hitting your house is a professional assassin

[Anonymous No.1439075]

>>1439063
Decent lock $150
Security film all the windows in the h0use, say $20 each. Plus 100 for the sliding glass door. $500
Well fuck

[Anonymous No.1439087]

Apt within a large building? Or like a mini house?

Either way, I have enough tools just in my truck alone to break into any house in minutes. I have enough tools in the shed to break into anything short of a bank vault then repair the damage when you are done.

Nothing is burgalar PROOF, you just have to make it look harder than their other options. For that there are lots of visual deterrents. Various signs, lights, lack of cover, etc.

I don't live in an apt, I live in a small house in the hood, but my major layers of defense are:

>7ft fence w/ locking gate
>Cameras and motion lights
>Alarm
>Dog
>Gun
>Insurance

[Anonymous No.1439094]

>>1439087
Hey tough guy, do you have enough tools to stop this one?

[Anonymous No.1439095]

>>1439075
>Decent lock 150
or 100 depending on your definition of decent
>sec 20 per window
that's some shitty glass, then again opie said it's a small three to four room apt, can't have more than five or six windows.

>>1439087
>I have enough tools just in my truck alone to break into any house in minutes.
please describe so i know what i'm up against

[Anonymous No.1439118]

>>1438860
Get a couple of cheap dogs from the pound. Park them just inside the front and back doors. Try to pick ones that look high strung. =) PS, every dog I've ever owned barked at black people. Yours will too, if they aren't defective.

[Anonymous No.1439131]

>>1439118
Fun fact: If you feed your dog enough sóy, he will stop barking at black people and will invite them to fuck their bitch.

[Anonymous No.1439132]

>>1439087
>I have enough tools in the shed to break into anything short of a bank vault then repair the damage when you are done.
do tell

>>1439118
then they'll just shoot the fucking dogs and go on with their business, OP's talking about motivated murderers who know how to do their work, not tyrone.

[Anonymous No.1439147]

>>1438892
Great idea for lockpick security

[Anonymous No.1439150]

>>1439094
Your typical burglar visits when you aren't at home. And takes your precious boomstick, too.

[Anonymous No.1439152]

>>1439150
>Not having a loaded gun attached to your door that fires if you don't open it a certain way

It's like you want to have your shit stolen

[Anonymous No.1439163]

>>1439150
I conceal carry 24/7, bubba. I don't own what I can't carry.
>Your typical burglar visits when you aren't at home.
I'm a hikki, good luck.

[Anonymous No.1439170]

>>1439152
And then the burglar enters via a window. And takes your door gun.

Instead of your silly and ineffective gun, I have two tons of dynamite under the house. It detonates if any of the motion sensors detect movement - well, unless the system is disarmed first.

[Anonymous No.1439172]

>>1438860
Zoneminder + IP camera.

[Anonymous No.1439181]

have a look at 3rd world countries:
bar all windows (mega cheap way: drill holes, bend rebar, fix w. cement)
reinforce door (deadbolts and steelplating inside.. make it so no one can kick it in)
adopt a dog
couple of cameras
barbed wire on rainpipe
Motion detection lamps outside
turn bathroom into safe room. Again reinforce door and have a cellphone/landline + baton/knife stashed.
Neighborhood WhatsApp group
That should be about 500 bucks I recon

[Anonymous No.1439183]

>>1439172
>IP camera
just make sure it's wired and isolated from the internet

[Anonymous No.1439189]

>>1438966
I'm guessing you did not understand that joke.

[Anonymous No.1439211]

>>1439095
>>1439132

I have a small construction side business. Fences, decks, gazebos, simple outdoor stuff that 1-3 guys can do in a short time. I keep bag of baisic hand tools in my truck 24/7. Wrenches, sockets, hammer, pry bar, screwdrivers, pliers, etc. In my shed I have a breddy good assortment of wood and metal working tools.

Which is why you should have insurance. Its not hard to pack a few tools, which is why I said nothing is burgalar proof. You might slowthem down but if nobody is coming to stop them they'll still steal your stuff and fuck up your house.

[Anonymous No.1439213]

>>1438860
Cover the walls in shit.
Make a bullet proof hidden sleeping box under the floor boards near another underfloor box that is easier to find than yours. Fill the other box with feces. Your sleeping box should contain a working phone.

Leave the door open all the time.

[Anonymous No.1439254]

>>1438860
"bubba's home security" motion alarms + receiver on amazon for $20

they wake you the fuck up and alert you if someone or something trips the alarm (BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP)

>>1439211
^this

If you aren't there to defend it the most you can get is some blurry ass pictures of half of tyrone's head.

[Anonymous No.1439255]

>>1438860
oh and get a safe, a heavy one.

[Anonymous No.1439265]

>>1439211
>*blocks your path*

[Anonymous No.1439267]

>>1438897
[redacted] gonna [redacted]

[Anonymous No.1439393]

>>1439265
those look less like door alarm sensors and more like IED triggers
I mean like WTF? contacts on wires going into generic cardboard box? something triggered as soon as someone just starts to turn the door knob?
That's like some anti spook lock picker or anti door breach shit

[Anonymous No.1439404]

>>1439393
>Improvised electrical triggers for door-based boobytraps

[Anonymous No.1439409]

>>1439265
>Thinks that doing 25-life for killing someone with an ied booby trap is worse than jamal stealing your gaming pc and waifu body pillow

Yeah you sure showed me buddy. Silly me, trying to give realistic advice.

[Anonymous No.1439423]

>>1439181
U forgot the whistle

[Anonymous No.1439490]

>>1438951

Since OP if gone (maybe dead), I was reading up on burglars and came across this tidbit:

>In October 1998, A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was exiting a house he finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re- enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. This upset Mr. Dickson, so he sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.

Cant tell if this is true.

[Anonymous No.1439536]

>>1439393
>That's like some anti spook lock picker or anti door breach shit
that's the exact point of it, look at the /k/ watermark, bottom right.

we should become a bit more like /k/, that would be more fun, instead of wasting time talking about boomer jobs

[Anonymous No.1439547]

>>1439409
well one of us is dead and it ain't me bitch

[Anonymous No.1439554]

>>1439490
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/stella-awards/

nope

[Anonymous No.1439653]

>>1438860
Spike pit
>Shovel
>wooden dowels
>???
that's about it.
can't defeat a wooden death pit unless you have a bridge, which the average jamal can't build.

[Anonymous No.1439715]

>>1438891
Oh, sry

[Anonymous No.1439943]

>>1438860

I work in security systems and just want to say intruder alarms and stuff arent worth shit because everybody knows the cops wont respond in time to save your bitch ass so get a pack of dogs and some guns

[Anonymous No.1439956]

>>1439255
Isn't that redundant. Wat you meant to say was get a safe and secure it to the concrete pad the house sits on.
> inb4 a lock onna small box is in any way safe

[Anonymous No.1439968]

>>1438951
literally me on the bottom

[Anonymous No.1439970]

>>1439150
>implying I leave the house
>implying I even have a gun
>implying I'm not going to rape you

[Anonymous No.1440026]

>>1439087
There are ways to truly burglarproof a building, it's just that it's thoroughly illegal because it harms first repsonders too.

[Anonymous No.1440073]

>>1438860
Just "Home Alone" the fuck out of your house, random C4 mines under the carpet, giant wooden log swing trap, caged tiger trip wire release trap for the bathroom door, 20,000 starving, hungry rabbid rats in your closet with another trip wire release trap, the possibilities are endless, buy a bunch of canaries and strap m80s on them with a timer.

[Anonymous No.1440080]

>>1439132
First of all, OP is asking for suggestions for protection from jamal to the pros. Second, dogs hear a lot better than people and they'll bark at any noise on the other side of a door including but not limited to lock picking. If OP can secure his doors, dogs, and a gun then it'll be pretty hard to shoot him in the head.

[Anonymous No.1440089]

>>1440080
OP is probably already an hero, by shooting himself in the back of the head multiple times

[Anonymous No.1440118]

>>1438951
>high caliber firearm to get through kevlar
that's not how it works, noguns

[Anonymous No.1440284]

>>1438860
tripwires are pretty easy to make a combo of hardwired ones and wireless ones, then home made motion detecting cameras pushing files via SFTP to a third party every minute, also emails you whenever motion happens obviously have an escape plan as well maybe consider kno3 + sugar smoke bombs and a gas mask to slow down anyone coming in - can be done for under 650

[Anonymous No.1440466]

>>1440118
>that's not how it works, noguns
>what are different types of bullet vests to increasingly stop higher caliber firearms, rifles and armor piercing ammunition

[Anonymous No.1440472]

>>1440118
Even if the vest stops a rifle round like a .308, you're still catching 2,000lbs of kinetic energy directly to the chest. Thats not something you're gonna shrug off.

[Anonymous No.1440476]

>>1440466
Still not how it works, but by all means, keep re-phrasing in the hopes that you get closer next time.

[Anonymous No.1440488]

>>1438860
big breed mutt
>loyal
>mutts are smart
>companionship, hiking buddy
>pussy magnet
>mutts have fewer health issues
I have a boxer/german shepherd right now, used to have a pitt/rott mix (aka rock dog).

Blink 2-camera system
>$229 on amazon, get it cheap on sale (Prime Day)
>comes with a window sticker
>no subnscription

[Anonymous No.1440490]

>>1438860
Check the lock picking lawyer on jew tube

A simple ramset defeat most locks in a single blow. There's no such thing as security. Just use a gun, moat or dog.

[Anonymous No.1440491]

>>1438860
The only answer is traps from the movie home alone

Harry:

-Shot in the groin by a BB gun
-Slips and falls on the set approaching the front door.
-Hand is severely burned when he places it on the boiling-hot doorknob (which comes from a electric BBQ starter on the other side).
-Has his head burned by a blowtorch when he opens the back door
-Gets covered in glue and feathers, causing him to look like a chicken.
-Slip on Kevin's Micro Machines at the foot of the stairs (with Marv)
-Gets hit in the face with a paint can while going up the staircase (with Marv)
-Falls down after tripping on a wire, knocking him unconscious

Marv:
-Shot in the forehead with a BB gun
-Slips and tumbles down on his back to the ice-covered stairway entrance to the basement and gets hit in the head with his crowbar when he tries to get up.
-Hit in the face with a heated iron falling from a laundry chute after pulling a light switch attached to the iron. The trap leaves a massive iron-shaped burn on his face.
-Loses his shoes and socks on some tar-covered basement stairs and jams a nail into his foot after stepping on it, causing him to fall back down to the bottom of the stairs and scream in immense pain.
-Steps on Christmas ornaments barefoot (making him scream in even more pain) when he comes in through a front window.
-Slip on Kevin's Micro Machines at the foot of the stairs (with Harry)
-Gets hit in the face with a paint can while going up the staircase (with Harry)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvGVfWTPW-A

[Anonymous No.1440505]

>>1440491

[Anonymous No.1440629]

This is right. >>1438892 Have fun going through a door with a quality dead bolt. You'll have to rip off the hinges beating it.

If you're going to be this guy >>1438898

>well anyone can steal your shit with a caterpillar.

Then make your stuff not look worth stealing. Bar the windows. Advertise theft deterance. Live near nosey af neighbors. Buy some pit bulls. Cast your prized possessions halfway in the concrete of the foundation. Build indoor tesla coils. Hire a bunch of mexicans to build you a moat.

No one is taking on the McAfee compound to steal one laptop. If you have a low profile, theives wi'll just rob the easier neighbors instead.

[Anonymous No.1441546]

>>1440476
6/10
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulletproof_vest

[Anonymous No.1442034]

>all the fags talking about film on your windows
https://youtube.com/watch?v=x_CiLZY-HGw

[Anonymous No.1442043]

>>1438860
From my experience forcing doors with professional equipment(halligan and axe) the idea is keeping the jamb as pry proof as possible. Criminals wont use a rabbit jack, i hope.

1. Anti pry plates.
A pry tool is most effective at or near the latch, so you can spread the frame. Ive forced doors with these, theyre cancer to work on, but it can still be done.

2. Fall bar. Bar that is places across the frame and has points where its held by the door and frame, creating a fuckhuge deadbolt. Can be defeated but with alot of noise and its difficult

3. Anti jimmy deadlocks. Ones that have the receiving latch on the frame or further and the bolt on the door. This makes it to where you almost have to rip the receiver from the wall, or rip down the wood its attached to, depending on how secure its fastened.

All this is only as strong as your door. Get a good solid metal door. Good locks and good pry plates. None of this shit matters if your door is thin and can be kicked straight through. Or if you cheap out and it all brakes with one pry.

[Anonymous No.1442050]

>>1438860
Heres an anti jimmy pry lock. Another ides ive been toying with is using steel square tube jambs instead of wood, making it hard as fuck to pry.

[Anonymous No.1442742]

>>1442034
>6 swings from a mini sledge
>not very tough
ok they're going for next level. I'd sooner cut through a wall than mess with that glass.