/diy/ - Do It Yourself

yeah try shoving it up your ass

>>2512756
Love you too

>>2512752
>Any advice on how to cultivate them?
Plant it in the fuckin ground.

>>2512752
It seems to me that if something is growing in basically nothing, doing anything would help it. Try putting it in some water or planting it in some good soil. You know for a question like this Google would be a really good place to start.

>>2512757
i'm serious, it's warm and moist and has an endless amount of fertilizer. it will grow better there than anywhere else you put it.

>>2512762
Oh, thought it was a joke stating the obvious. My bad!

Might try peeling a few layers to get to the moist skin. Then shove it straight up your fat, stupid ass

>>2512766
What did I do wrong

>>2512762
Human shit will kill plants
it is the opposite of fertilizer

>>2512772
Figures

>>2512766
Anal insertion promotes growth. A warm moist area filled with manure is prime for onion or mushroom growing. Make sure to rotate it in your ass periodically to get it even sunlight.

>>2512752
Plant it in a decently large pot asap. Bulbs should be planted the fall prior to the growing season. Come spring you can replant it into the ground.

>>2512781
Alrighty, I'll see if I can grab a pot this weekend

>>2512771
Quit whining princess

In your hot little stinker snow flake

Cut it into 8 sections
Buy a plant starter box
Fill each square pocket with soil
Then take each onion section
And gently, very gently
Slide each piece right into your anus
Profit

>>2512752
Well if it was me and I have been a green thumb for nearly 20 years now both on a farm and keeping a large garden in my back yard I'd say it'd be best to shove it up your ass very quickly

Planting a garden involves my whole family
Each person takes turns putting onions in each others ass. Memories

I find that planting onion bulbs in my rectum
Quite satisfying

Get a planting pipe
It’s about 3 ft. long and 4 inch diameter
Insert onion in one end then have someone blow the pipe to propel poor onion into your lower bowel

>>2512772
Lettuce seems to grow just fine and there's tons of shit in that from the migrant workers

>>2512752
Plant it in the garden and wait for it to go to seed, plant the seeds or let it go to seed on its own. Ultimately you are better off just buying a pack of seeds for $1, unless you just want to do it for the hell of it and are ok with waiting two years before you can harvest. There is no certainty that you will end up with viable seeds or it will ever even go to seed, may just flower and die and leave you with one less onion to eat.

>>2512864
Brought up a good point
Put seeds in your ass

My garden is 20 x 20
Tilling, raking, adding compost, sand ash
Get it all mixed well before I put onion bulbs right in my ass. Then I lay down for awhile

>>2512752
Guys I have this onion but not sure where to plant it

>>2512883
Why’s your thumb pink?
Did the black wear off from planting onions in your ass

>>2512883
afro-shrek

>>2512883
ask your overseer

So the onion in my ass keeps falling out and gets stuck in my pant leg

>>2512781
>a decently large pot
His prolapsed rectum

You won’t believe where I put this onion

>>2513590
i'm assuming in your dick hole?

>>2512772
It needs to decompose first. The pre-Columbian preta negra soils were pretty much just human shit, guinea pig shit, illama shit and the crap from the previous days fire. I would go to the effort of digging the soil up if I moved properties.
Apparently there's more to the story but it's basically an ancient compost heap with organised crop rotations.

>>2513677
Thank you jock koosteu

>>2512772
>Human shit will kill plants
Where did you get this nonsense from? My great grandfather would have a word or two with you about that if he were still around.

>>2512752
Take a small glass or bowl or jar and put your onion inside
Just fill enough water to touch the bottom of the onion.
Place next to a window and watch it grow.

Or, just put it in a pot with dirt, cover at least the bottom half with dirt.
Make sure it's not too wet to prevent rot, but wet enough to allow roots to grow (should be moist).

Your onion will either grow tall and give flower and then seeds, or split multiple times giving multiple onions to plant back.
Either way, have fun.

PS: No need for fertilizer, horseshit or whatever, you will see all that later.
Right now, allow this fucker to grow roots.

>>2515455
It’s in muh butt anon

>>2515456
Np, it will still root itself.
There is quite the space there anyway.

>>2512752
Get miracle grow soil and some Scott's turf builder fertilizer and put it in a 4" pot then place it in a sunny window and water daily and fertilizer every 2nd day by sprinkle a bit on top.

>>2512752
its kind of a meme. you can regrow an onion from a sprout but its gonna be a pretty shitty onion. all you really gotta do is plant it in the ground and keep it watered. But its gonna regrow all weird and warped, you wont get a 'regular' looking onion. if you want to go the extra distance then you need to peel off the outter layer of the onion otherwise its gonna rot away. just plant the sproutted part and eat/trash the rest of it. although the part you keep to eat probably wont taste that great since the onion consumes itself to start the sprouting process. i usually just compost stuff if it starts to sprout in my kitchen. replanting is for memes and content creators fishing for clicks.

>>2513893
It's been awhile...


I had an onion grow in a window sill for like a year half like a potted plant. I didn't do anything at all for it but watch it.

>>2512752
cut it and cry

>>2512883
put it back Jamal

>>2512756
Based crammer

>>2512883
in the ground

>>2512758
>put thing in ground
>pour water on it
>wait
>there is plant

you really want me to believe this?

>>2512752
>Any advice on how to cultivate them?
take put and some soil
dig a hole
water it and keep it in sun
alternatively cut it in half and place each piece in pot water it
also don't overwater it or it will root
t. i have citrus tree growing in my pots

>>2512752
rabyu onyan

>>2513677
>preta negra
>black black
You mean terra preta.

onon in butt

>>2512752
Cut the assimilative leaves off, they are the good stuff