/diy/ - Do It Yourself

get a jar and start fappin

>>1964827
I remember on this old website rotteneggs dot com there was someone who posted a guide on how to make fake cum. I remember aloe vera was one of the ingredients. Lotion might be the other, idk

>>1964827
Does it need to just look like cum or have the same consistency as well? if it only needs to look like it, elmers glue and a little yellow food dye should do. like maybe one drop for the entire thing

>>1964830
it would take days, even weeks to fill a whole jar

water and white hand lotion. add a MLP figure for extra realism

>>1964827
First go to the hardware store and get some rope. Then tie it around your neck and kill yourself.

Cetaphil

>>1964827
You’ll thank me later

https://bad-dragon.com/products/cumlube

Coconut milk and watered-down gelatine. That's it.

Protip: cum is not consistent.

>>1964951
Get gud

>>1964827
Dragon Dildo
Jar on Display

>>1964827
Modern snow globe? Shake to cover a figurine in hotglue?

I have exactly what you need! My wife does her laundry herself and it really looks like fuck bie 'that it is very efficient and economical ..
You can buy all the ingredients at a drugstore. Look at this beauty ..

If you are interested I would give you the exact recipe, but roughly you boil water in which you put soap flakes, citric acid and sodium percarbonate.
We are far from Breaking Bad, everything is legal for sale and it s as easy as making a soup.

>>1965416
Wow she's really washing with BIG LOADS.

>>1964951
Not if you have been Cumstacking like a real man

If you mix flour with water in right proportion, you can get a viscous substance looks like real cum!

>>1964827
where is the cum party anon? that tread was awesome.

>>1964949
Yellow?

>>1965688
Yes. Just a very tiny bit. Give it that aged look

glycerol and a bit of white paint

>>1965688
Look up rainbow dash in a jar. Just slightly yellow.

>>1964949
Since it will be in a jar I think the consistency should be about the same. add water to glue, and it should prevent it to become solid. On the other hand if it will be staying on a shelf, it's best to let it solidify over time.

>>1965416
This thing look interesting. The only question I have will it become more bubbly? I am using it in secret Santa event so It might shake a little on the road.

>>1965076
It's cheaper than I expected. I might consider it if everything else fails.

>>1966195
What do you mean by sparkling? Once the mixture cools it remains stable for months .. I honestly believe this is the best option, plus you will learn how to make your laundry detergent yourself ..

Bubbly not sparkly ..

>>1964949
Uh... Not sure how to say this anon, but you may want to get that "yellow" sperm looked at.

Cetaphil face cleanser

>>1964827
you can buy fake cum. the real stuff will turn yellow and disgusting after a little while

>>1964827
Just make pasta then drain the water into the jar. Once the water cools and evaporates off the starch makes it the same color and consistency as the jizz.

>>1964827
Just drain your anus OP

>>1966436
like i said earlier, it's for the aged look. if it's in a jar it should look old and slightly rotten, not new

>>1966434
I meant foam.

>>1966815
OP only needs one jar full not several.

>>1967073
He can eat the rest for dinner

buy klube + titanium oxide
other cumlubes expire and go rancid

unless thats what you want...

>>1964827
Worst secret santa ever

>>1965574
kek

>>1967723
oh shit, that really is what you are doing

> I am using it in secret Santa event

Yeah, expect HR to have a word with you

>>1964827
>>1965652

Not him but he used guar gum. I was also physically present at the party, those cum balloons left some marks...

>>1966608
how thin is your jizz?

>>1967724
I used to know a HR.
You're fired and the security are on the way up to your floor BEFORE they have a 'word'.
The 'having a word' is just to make sure security know where to find you and you can't hide or go for the window with a chair while shouting about jews...

>>1964951
well, better get to fapping then

>>1965892
I think it's bad that I know exactly what you're talking about...

>>1969016
the longer the pasta water sits, the more of a gelatin it turns into. Give it like 3-4 days if you don't believe.

>>1969333
boil the pasta with squid for a convincing scent

>>1964827
Go ask /mlp/

>nobody asks why

>>1965874
Ah yes, another fellow cum connoiseur I see.

>>1964827
Just fill it with that white, creamy, pearlescent hand soap. Let it dry out a bit and I'd wager it'd look pretty close. Would smell better too.

Boil 1 cup water
Slowly add 1 cup ammonia
Then add 3 cups of powder detergent
Once desolved add 2 cups of bleach and boil until thick

Have yer mum sqwat an ring out her bog faggot

>>1969450
Because why not?

J lube, 1 bottle makes 6-8 gallons of slimy goey off white slime. For veterinarian use only!

>>1972651
>For veterinarian use only
>Perfect for fisting
I love amazon listings like this.

>>1972771
Probably for artificially insemination using your fists on large animals like horses and cows.

>>1972771
I bet faggot

I have several Mountain Dew two liter bottles full of fake cum, give me you address and I will send it over.

>>1965000
This is the advice I would take if I was inhabiting your carcass OP

>>1972651
/d/ here, can confirm, I use this stuff all the time, you can make it as thicc or watered down as you need. It is sugar based so it can spoil if left there for a long period of time, I mix in some vegetable glycerine as a preservative and to help it mix better, pros use citric something or other, it's in most commercial lubes. You want to mix it with hot water because the jlube can clump.