/diy/ - Do It Yourself

who are you quoting

>>1912856
Not him, but i can relate
>gonna diy the bathroom tiles
>woah, do you know how to do it?
As if its space engineering or something
People are fucking babies nowadays

I get this from old people all the time
> Oh you are clever, I would never have found the "on" button there at the front of the computer
>Did you learn this from university?

>>1912845
lol why does this make you angry?

>anon I need you do this, it's easy
>if it's easy why can't you do it
>PHFFFFFFFF JUST DO IT IT'S EASY

>>1912904
>changing someight fixtures for my sister in law
>asks me twice if i know what im doing
>i hear her later quietly ask my brother if i know what im doing
I'm a fucking contractor

>>1913035
some light fixtures*

>>1912845
>Be me
>Make fiddle
>Tell my favorite bartender about it
>She asks to see
>Bring it with me next time I go
>Customers don't believe me that I made it
>Show photos of me mking it in my basement
>They still don't believe
>Guy threatens to smash it if I don't stop lying
>Bartender knows me, knows I make guitars
>Tells dude I did make it
>Retards in bar are amazed I know how to do this
>Tell them I am self taught
>They are shocked
>They now call me the guitar autist

Seriously, it's not that hard to cut and shape wood.

>help client set up cctv motion detection notifications on her phone
>omg you're so smart
bish its a fucking smartphone app you could google but you paid me $150/hr instead

>install dishwasher
>bruh where'd you learn that
from installing dishwashers

>>1912845
It's not about googling how to do something but taking responsibility for potential fuckup. Anyone knows more or less how to change oil, but most people are afraid to do it themselves because their life depends on their vehicles being 100% functional so letting a pro do it seems safer.

>"anon my AC not workin ok"
>literally just pull never-cleaned filter out from unit
>"how am supposed to know this"

>>1913147
every time.
>hose filter, shake it off, put it back in
>fixes problem
That’ll be $200 thank you

>>1913035
Ah, I see we have the same family.
>Mom keeps bugging me for months to fix something in the house
>Eventually give in
>She wants it done in a retarded, physically impossible way
>Won't have it any other way
>Keep arguing for a different, *possible* solution for hours
>She takes a strangers advise
>He proposes the exact same thing I did
>"Anon, stranger proposed solution X. Isn't it a great idea?"
>.....
>Fix thing with her nagging at the same time about making too much dust and taking too much time
>Next time she ask for something postpone it for months

Our family house (and my psychology) is left being a wreck because of her behavior.

My family sees me as some sort of oracle of mechanical and technical knowledge. This means they won't ask me retarded bullshit questions like "ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT", but it does mean that they expect me to do lots of random shit for free.
>Anon will you help me change my oil
>Anon will you change the lightbulb
>Anon will you see why the water heater's not working

>>1913353
With great power comes great responsibility

When I cba with fixing something I'll just say it needs to be replaced lol

>>1913047
post photos of fiddle

>>1912904
who are you quoting?

>>1913115
this is retarded,
>anyone knows more or less how to change oil
most people have never even seen an engine

>>1912845
“I figured it out by looking at it then I did it”

Make them feel dumb

>>1913047
do you live in romania

>>1913330
lol
>doing washroom reno
>complete gut job, moving plumbing, electrical, and one wall
>after one week I have all the rough in done, time to put everyrhing back tohether
>wife asks me whats taking so long, she thought it would be done by now
Like that dumb bitch has any idea about anything

>>1913115
>anyone knows more or less how to change oil
No they don't. People pay me 80 dollars to do it all the time

>>1913047
I'd very much like to go to this bar.

>lol just bring your bike to a shop and spend $1500 instead of doing it yourself for $150 while snacking on pecan nuts and listening to the Pixies

>anon does a thing
>waw anon how u kno how do that?
>heh nbd guy heheh
>create humble brag thread on /diy/ about it
Jokes on you people ask me for help I tell them to fuck off.

>anon do this thing
>ok I guess
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS THIS A MESS AND TAKEN APART
>uhhhhhhhhhhhhh didn't you want that thing done, how do you expect me to do it without getting access to it?

>at factory job
>team meeting
>work "coach" aka team leader needs to change sound device
>i take a look at it, literally just change volume output in configuration screen
>whole team full of normies looked at awe and told me I should try to become "coach"

>>1912845
There was an anon on another board years back who posted a story about how he stopped by the grocery store on his way home from work. His 18yo gf called him asking if she could come over. He decided to make spaghetti when he got home. When the gf got there and saw him cooking he said she looked at him like he was practicing some sort of ancient mystical sorcery.

>>1912954
Right?
It doesn't make me angry...it makes me money.

>>1913720
Blame it on those home remodeling shows.
>Gut and built a hole new kitchen in a 30min show.
>"Honey, it doesn't work like that, and I don't have a crew of 10 guy to help me."

>>1912845
Go into the kitchen and cook and elaborate meal.
Oh, you mean you dont have extensive knowledge in cooking, and things that are common sense to other people you dont have?

Wow, weird how that works huh?

>Be a principal mechanical engineer
>Have over 35,000 project hours in my career
>Designed over $150M in systems across virtually every major industry, involved in over $500M
>Trained over 30 other engineers

>Working on a restomod car
>Design up some custom parts
>Send them to a machinist/fabricator, get them back
>Slap them on, they fit perfectly
>Friends see
>"DUDE WHERE DID YOU BUY THAT???"
>"I designed it and had it machined... it's not that hard..."
>"You can do that?????"
>"Uh, yeah, this stuff is a breeze... you should see what I do for work..."
>"Are you sure you didnt just buy that?"

Although on the other side of the spectrum, people hear I am an engineer and want me to design them a product that they came up with while forcing out a rough one on the toilet. "Dude just come over and design it for me." I'm fast, but I can't design you a robotic mini fridge that runs off IPT in an afternoon there buddy...

>>1913826
Being amazed by basic handyman skills is not analogous to being amazed by word class cooking. It's more analogous to being amazed at an average joe cooking a hamburger.

>>1912845
I learned to expect nothing from people.
They barely know how to tie their shoe laces or clean their ass.
Sometimes they even know how to do both.

>>1913893
>Being amazed by basic handyman skills is not analogous to being amazed by word class cooking

You're right, because any dipshit who can follow instructions is able to make a decent meal.

Basic handyman ability requires at least some base level of problem-solving skill, putting it an intellectual step or two up.

>>1913788
the worst one. rage inducing.
>can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs

>>1913884
I guess thats the best appreciation for your work.

>>1913047
>Tell my favorite bartender about it
>>She asks to see
>>Bring it with me next time I go
Jesus. Just.....

Jesus.

>>1912845
> Be me.
> Need to do some welding.
> Buy a welder.
> Ask DIY how to use it.
> "No anon, you need to go to welding school you can't just teach yourself welding. Also you can't do it in an unventilated studio apartment."
> I do it anyway. Everything works out great.
> Neighbor took a welding course in art school and knows exactly what the arc flashes coming out my window are.
> She assumes I must be a pro and wants me to teach her.

>>1913353
>anon will you help me fix my my car
Just tell them you'll help them learn, and make them do all the work. They'll either learn or learn to never ask you again.

>>1914007
>She
Hot?

>>1914007
>Also you can't do it in an unventilated studio apartment.
Depends on the type of welder.
Gasless or stick, no, you'll get cancer.
Gas mig or tig, no big deal.

>>1913962
>CLEAN THE GARAGE
>WHY IS THE GARAGE A MESS I NEED TO GET MY CAR IN HERE OR ELSE THE NEIGHBORS MIGHT DAMAGE IT (meanwhile literally all the damage to the car is smashing into shit in the garage)
>have to throw everything back in bins hastily to try and get the car back in the garage
>clean up takes longer than any actual work you accomplished
>repeat for over half a decade

>>1914129
>>1914007
>>she
how big is her penis?

>>1914147
This bothers me. I was at my parents and they were shit talking the neighbors for having all their garage contents out in front while they were cleaning/reorginizing.

>>1913035
>I'm a fucking contractor
so, no?

>>1913893
> It's more analogous to being amazed at an average joe cooking a hamburger.
Which is a large portion of the population anon.
The vast majority of men, and a surprising amount of women go through their youth all the way through college without learning basic cooking skills.
And then there is a large portion of men who never learn at all, and rely on their girlfriend or wife to cook.

70 year old neighbor, spent 45 years as a welder. Wife left him, he only knows how to use a microwave. He just buys fast food every day, then helps out the other neighbors like plowing snow and mowing, so the women cook him meals. Everyone knows, you dont pay him, you cook him food.

Common sense in any field is not innate.

>>1914007
I know for a fact you are a shit welder, and mentally retarded.
So /diy/ was right in the end.

>building fitness equipment at work
>notice it took 4 guys do in 2 hours what I managed solo in half the time
>it's still wrong

If the boss would buy me a crane or at least my own forklift, they could get rid of half the staff.

>>1913035
an electrical contractor?
>>1914210
kek

>>1914002
kek

>>1914002
>>1914382
???

>>1914383
you dont bring the fiddle to her, you bring her to the fiddle for a diddle. come on guy

>>1913035
>contractor
LMAO

>>1913330
This is my mom.

>>1912845
>call from grandpa
>"hey I'm having trouble with my computer can you come over and help"
>literally copying an image from facebook, pasting into paint, and adding one text box
>"wow you kids and your computers. I could never do this kind of stuff"
>hands me $50 and a ham on the way out
ok

>>1914611
anon, he did it so you'd visit him. He wasn't actually having a problem.

>>1914676
no, I see the man every other day, he's my neighbor
this type of shit happens about once a month for the last 7 years

>>1912904
to be fair, there are plenty of people working as tilers who can't tile

>>1914002
>t. never been to open mic night

>be me 19
>start working as a carpenter's assistant
>cut the same two size boards and butt joining them together all day every day
>pretend I'm qualified to build a shed with joists and studs and all
>they believe me because I'm a professional carpenter
>build the thing based on a couple youtube videos I watched the night before
>pocket a few hundred dollars
>falls apart 3 years later
you know, people say this kind of shit for a reason

>>1913722
It's too difficult to recycle nowadays with modern laws. Can't just dump it in the neighborhood oil pit like in the 70s. Just have more money than time

>>1913330
Can relate.

>>1913047
Played them like a fiddle

>I made a neural network that simulates 4chan comments
>no you did not
>here look this works
>how you must be genius

literally

while (1)
switch(random()) {
case 110: printf("kike ");
case 69: printf("nice ");
case 1: printf("nigger ");
}

>>1913607
can relate

>>1916749
In the US it's easy either via recycling station or your local auto parts store (many chains take waste oil). I'm a mechanic and will not let oil change outfit minimum wagers overtighten or strip my drain plugs because I've had to fix too many of their fuckups on other people's vehicles. It's useful for vehicles you care about to drain into a light colored drain pan to note coolant contamination, chips etc.
The trip to a shop to change the oil is little different than a trip to recycle it. If I were rich I'd still change my own oil (I'd just have a prettier shop) and other fluids.

>>1916745
Some of the crap wayfair and walmart are selling would be lucky to last that long. Thin plastic walls and roof slotted into not even full metal studs or rafters. They're probably like $800 plus 350 install. Customers don't even pour a slab or buy wood to build a base.

>>1916999
Do you run your own shop? My dad got a waste oil heater. Our shops not insulated because fire chief said no so it paid for itself in only a winter or two. Lot of maintenance though my dad does it every summer I'm not sure what but I don't think it's too difficult.
Tell your buddies and neighbor shops you collect it now and it's free heat basically

>>1914329
no he's a fucking contractor can't you read?

>>1917030
Doesn't it produce a smoke cloud of horrific proportions?

>>1917012
if you want a professional to build you a structure, you are not going to get the Walmart or Wayfair plants, you are going to hire professional carpenters or someone who you think will do the same quality work for less money
if you trust Walmart to build your house you deserve to be poor enough to shop at Walmart

>>1917043
Nah burns great. It'll burn just about anything in the shop. You're not supposed to put gasoline in it but the amount you'd get from like a fuel pump job seems to be fine when diluted with a few hundred gallons of what you're supposed to burn.

Well, it has b4 actually but that's when my dad decided to keep up on the maintenance haha.

>>1917081
I will say I wouldn't use it to heat a house or anything like that but in a shop it was fine.

>>1913732
Do you like to watch stars in telescope?

>>1914002
Maybe she's like 50.

>>1914007

For your own sake I hope you have a good ventilation setup anon.

>>1914815
>gets a free $50 and ham once a month
the fuck are you complaining about?

>>1914222
Similar story
>Guy at work
>parents married for 60+ years, since their 20s
>husband suddenly dies from an infection (no not covid), went from healthy to ded in 10 days
>Wife has literally everything done for her for her whole life by him
>Knows how to drive, order fast food, and tie shoes
>that's it
>Literally
>Guy has to teach her how to pay bills, use the computer, use the kitchen, change the thermostat, and many more basic life skills that every 9 year old knows
>he spends almost 2 months between the funeral and teaching his mother how to be a human being
>Still occasionally has to tell her how to do shit like how to change batteries in the tv remote

>>1917166
I dealt with this shit constantly at a senior living facility. The husbands did everything and the wives cooked and child reared. Even their kids were basically spoiled invalids who I’d assume couldn’t change a light bulb without help. There’s a reason people say someone can’t poor piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

>>1916749
>Take old fluids
>Put in old jugs or a 5 gallon bucket or something
>Drive to local auto parts store
>Hey here's some oil
>Or just leave it at the back door
>Either way they legally have to take it
Such hard much effort

>>1917171
> can’t poor piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
That's great, I'm stealing that one

>>1917166
some people lack the basic cognitive skills to do the square peg in the square hole toy and think what happens and how to manipulate objects
she's one of these people

>>1917173
Anon, that's an oldie. I kicked the slats out of my cradle the first time I heard it.

>>1913115
i refuse to take my vehicle into a shop, if its something i cannot fix then its time for a new vehicle.

>>1914007
/diy/ is full of pussies
>nooo you can't just open the window and weld something for 2 minutes, think about the health and safety!!!

>>1912845
>how do you seems to know everything?
I googled that shit, dumb bitch

>>1913035
Did you fuck her?

>>1912845
>Haha wow where did you learn all this stuff? I'd never know how to figure it out
INTERNET
YOU CAN USE IT TOO AND LEARN THINGS
YOU LAZY FUCK
USE YOUR BRAIN PLEASE
THE MOST ADVANCED BIOLOGICAL COMPUTER
IN YOUR HEAD
ADAPTED OVER COUNTLESS GENERATIONS TO BE THE BEST THINKING ORGAN ON THE PLANET
KEPT THE CAVEMEN ALIVE IN THE WILDERNESS
USEEEEE IIIIT
PLEEEEAAAAASSSEEE

>>1913035
Is she hot?

>>1914611
WHAT WAS THE MEME?

>>1917040
giggity

>>1914611
post the fucking meme

>think of something I want to do or make
>spend an afternoon watching youtube videos
>do thing
>whole family thinks I'm some polymath genius
>mfw I'm actually borderline retarded

>>1912954
I suppose you don't mind being surrounded by idiots, do you? You'd probably feel right at home.

>>1913115
No, most people don't even feel like trying, or even looking up how to do it

>>1918312
Nikolai Tesla would've been shut down in his first month

>>1914222
Checked
This is me. I can only make steaks, burgers, pene pasta, and then it's a steep dive to cereal and PB&J zone. Couldn't bake a cake or even fry an egg to save my life.

>>1917127
>Maybe she's like 50.

Hot older moms need banging too anon...

>>1917172
>>Take old fluids
>>Put in old jugs or a 5 gallon bucket or something
>>Drive to local auto parts store
>>Hey here's some oil
>>Or just leave it at the back door
>>Either way they legally have to take it
>Such hard much effort

MFW not keeping all your used oil for other good uses. Do you give away all your good petroleum products anon?

>>1919057
>>think of something I want to do or make
>>spend an afternoon watching youtube videos
>>do thing
>>whole family thinks I'm some polymath genius
>>mfw I'm actually borderline retarded

Right in the feels... People think I'm some kind of genius, but I just don't quit working on stuff until I'm satisfied with the results... Not retarded, but no genius by any means, just stubborn.

>>1913047
>>Tell my favorite bartender about it
>>She asks to see
>>Bring it with me next time I go
I am dying
you absolute autist
how can you fuck up like that???

>>1919094
Such as? I don't have an oil heater because natural gas master race so what other good uses would there be, other than taking up space or setting up home alone tier traps

>>1919133
Damn, it took to til this post to figure out why everyone was giving him grief. I thought you guys were just saying it's weird to show up to a bar with a fiddle.

>>1919205
Yeah me too lol. Depends on how she said it I guess, "hey that's cool I wanna see your fiddle" is a little different than "wow you made one? How interesting... maybe you can show me your fiddle some time *wink*"

>>1919071
>pene pasta
Kek this means "penis pasta".
It's actually "penne", which means quills (or pens or feathers).

>>1919133
ESL here. Is fiddle a euphemism for penis or something?

>>1919289
>fiddles aren’t fiddles. Fiddles are sex!

>>1919294
This makes it even more confusing.

>>1919200

Oiling trailer decks, and posts in it, oiling roller chains, running through your old diesel engines.

>>1919391
None of which I have or need. So like I said it takes up space. You want it? Come get it, take it from me it saves me a trip.