/diy/ - Do It Yourself

>>1247716
while you're at it you can make money injecting that fat into the already ample asses of fat bitches

Ive done this once, I invented a giant upside-down belt sander.

>>1247716
Its not worth it bro. Seriously. Because youll probably just put it back on anyway and then go through the risks.

If you do the maths you can lose a pound in a day. Then when you get stretch marks just do the water fast.

What you arent thinking about, is proportion. Sure youll get rid of your gut but its gonna looking fucking retarded when the rest of your body parts are that of a fat fuck but your belly is gone lol.

Are you can do it to the thighs? The arms? The neck?

You think this will make you happy.

When i was younger, i stayed fat on purpose. Because it was a problem i could always fix. On the back of my mind, i knew it was something i could fix. When it was gone, all the other problems came to surface. That was even when i did it naturally.

It wont make you happy man. Earning it will though. The accomplishment and the fact that your body will look the way its meant to instead of all over the shop.

Id even say do steroids over this shit.

>>1247716
Pretty sure this was a thousand ways to die episode... liposuction vacuums use a fraction of the suction of a regular vacuum... go to the gym and diet dont be dumb

>>1247738
>liposuction vacuums use a fraction of the suction of a regular vacuum
what he is saying is that you have the upper hand on those dumb surgeons. go for it op. post a before and after pic

>>1247719
i wonder those vibrating belt things are supposed to work from the 40s and 50s

>>1247743
I think they do something, but why bother when you running is crazy effective.

>>1247716
You will die.

>>1247760
>You will die.
And be resurrected as a beautiful skellington.

>Buy 1/day multivitamin pills 100+, should cost you around $5

>Eat fucking less.

Yes that's fucking it. That will be 90% of your weight reduction. No exercise, no super special diet, no vegetable only diet, nothing.

Just fucking eat less.

How much you lose weight depend 95% on how much you eat.

>>1247799
Dude... Not OP, but an Anon that quit smoking several months ago here. That shit is as hard as quitting smoking! I truly had not been hungry for over 20 years, and now I'm starving all the time! I'm moving/exercising more, drinking water before meals, eating healthier... All that is easy. Eating less? Anon, nearly impossible.

>>1247808
If you can't eat less, then you eat healthy, aka less carbs but same "amount" of serving. More water based food works. Lettuce, carrots, cabbage, spinach, fruits, etc.

The main issue of fatness is how much you eat carbs.

Average American eats ~4000 kcalorie per day. Thats twice as much as Japanese people do. 3/4 of American are fat/obese as a result, meanwhile 3/4 of Japan are normal weight.

Purely reducing calorie is the only way to effectively reduce weight. All exercise does is convert some of the fat into muscle, but thats a painful route and takes long time. Meanwhile eating less could mean loss of few lbs per week easy.

>>1247716
this is almost as bad as the space program

sure why not, go for it. some tranny was giving people ass implants, think she/he/it died though because they injected their ass full of concrete. your taking stuff out and should be good.

>>1247812
Cutting out soft drinks and switching to water works fucking wonders as well

>>1247716
I'm sure I saw this pasta a couple of years ago.

>>1247898
I cut out soda and switched to liquor :/

>>1247990
Now just switch that liquor to meth and you are golden

Its the beer that does me, and I cant cut it out, cos I fucking love the stuff. If you pull this off OP i am with you. PS. you might get a few days ban for this, I did for mentioning DIY hemorrhoid removal.

>>1247738
3/3rds of the power means you will do the job 2/3rds faster than 1/3rd

>>1247716
Just another 1000 ways to die

>>1247716

I had a fat delivery driver come to pick up a 33kv transformer, the gate security let him in without high vis because he wouldnt fit into any of our visitor overalls.

Anyway, he was a fat cunt but I didnt think too much until he climbed up onto his truck bed to strap down the transformer.

From my view on earth I was looking straight up at a fat gut that was hanging below his untucked shirt, almost down to his thighs.

As it leant forward to attach the straps, what looked like udders or stalagmites appeared from under the fat gut.

I almost heaved and I am still trying to purge those brain cells that stored the vision with beer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z2mGrzuBHk

You are going to die a very painful death if you go through with this, OP.

Be sure to record it. If you have a Facebook, stream it live, too.

>>1248243
>more succ = more success
It's just that easy.

>>1247716
Your whole idea is bad and just sounds like you're baiting for (You)s.
But just in case you're serious: skip everything and just go straight to a hospital, a mental one, and talk to a doctor there.

>>1247719
I bet his feet are nice and smooth now.

Ladies and gentleman the 2017 Darwin Award goes too.. OP!!! WOOOO congratulations you're retarded! At least donate your body to science so they can study your tiny brain.

>>1247719

... well now i want to buy a used treadmill and convert it in to a giant belt sander.

I think actual liposuction is 50 bucks, man

but liposuction literally removes fat cells. LITERALLY REMOVES them. Fat cells grow and shrink as you gain or lose weight. Removing them makes your fat distribute somewhere else, making any weight gain really funky looking or even dangerous

Get your fat arse onto a zero carb ketogenic diet. You'll lose massive amounts of fat fairly quickly while being able to eat all the cheese and bacon you want.

If you want to shift the weight even quicker you'll need to fast. Look into Dr. Jason Fung he has a lot of good material for fasting.

>>1248462
Does this kind of diet give you diabetes? Ive heard its very discomforting

>>1249272
Keto diets do develop a form of short-term 'diabetes'. Where after long periods of kept, a typical carbohydrate diet will lead to a few days of elevated blood sugar. But it's nowhere near hyperglycemia.


As to fasting. Fasting cures type2 diabetes. I've helped over two dozen fatfucks lose weight with fasting. Half had t2d when they started, another 6 had t2d and didn't know it until they got tested before I would train them. And the rest had other symptoms of metabolic syndrome.

Every single one of them reversed their diabetes in 3 months or less with fasting. Everyone who had high blood pressure had normal blood pressure after two weeks. Everyone who had shitty cholesterol went off cholesterol lowering meds by the end of the second month.

The great thing is all their symptomology cleared up well before any normal body weight was achieved.

One guy who was 400lbs was on 120 units of insulin a day, 1 gram metformin, a sulfonylurea, cholesterol and blood pressure meds and anti-depressants.

Day 1 I took him off all insulin and he did a two week fast. He then did a 1 week ad-libitum re-read.

He repeated this 2-1 cycle until he got down to 160lbs. By the third refeed week his insulin response was improving dramatically and he was waking up with semi-sane blood sugar levels even better than when he was on meds. By the third month his post prandial readings were completely normal.

The end of the second month his cholesterol was completely normal and his doctor admitted it was even better than his own. And his blood pressure was normal after the first two week fast. All of that before he even broke 350lbs

>>1249299

Please post this type of diet. My mom is in prediabetes stage and docs put her on metmorfin 1g. She has metabolic syndrome, aka hyper insulinemia.

Some autistic doc told her to eat only broccoli and cauliflower, no salt, no fat, no carbs, no proteins ( because he said they turn into carbs ) and no sugar.

>>1249930
Not the anon you're typing to, but Google keto chow and go from there.

>>1247794
>And be resurrected as a beautiful skellington.
this. Do it op. Just in time for halloween.

I made the transition to skeleton a year ago and I've never been happier.

>>1247716
You can get groupon coupons for lypo for like $50.

>>1247716
Just start fasting. Eat at an extreme deficit and do lots of cardio. The feelings of hunger go away after 3 days or so.

OP look up ketogenic diet you don't have to be hungry your body can switch over to using fat as an energy source instead of carbs. You'll be hungry for about a week but then never feel insatiable hunger or hangriness ever again

Your guts will get sucked in.Look up 1000 ways to die liposuction dummies

>>1247740
>post a before and after pic
Nah, do it live, for you won't be to post "after" pics.

>>1247799
This.

>>1247808
Actually, OP, get a vape (e-cigarette, not for pot) with tasty juices (meringue lemon pie, fruity cereals, chocolate eclair, etc) and low or no nicotine. It should help food cravings.

>>1247990
That doesn't work, even if you reach the point where alcohol makes all form of hunger vanish and you stop eating for days.

>>1249299
>I've helped over two dozen fatfucks lose weight with fasting
Do you just abduct fatties and lock them in your basement until they're not deathfat?

>>1251015
Good luck forcing a man of this size into your basement.

>>1247716
this is legitimatly the most /diy/ OP that ive ever seen

>>1247808
>>1247812
For me I got the calorie density down. Less/no sauces, dinner plate to small/smaller bowls, carton of ice cream (whole pizza) a day to a week.

The hardest part for me is when I'm not at work, I eat.

Find something to motivate you: a fat celeb you like getting thin, the super cheap/sorta cool china clothes, needing a heart bypass, pussy.

Sleep in a bathtub filled with icy water. You'll burn 3-7x as many calories just to keep your body temperature.

just eat about 1600-1800 kcal for a week and you will be 5kg lighter already. Keep it up.. 1 month and 10kg. Its not that hard. Just eat breakfast lunch and dinner, dont eat anything after dinner. Breakfast and lunch should be 800kCal together and dinner 800 kCal. If you feel hungry take an apple in between.

Good food to start your day:
-Oats with skim milk
-Special K cornflakes with milk
-Bananas

Avoid food with fat while you are doing this diet

>>1251521
"Fat" food is a myth. The real take is carbohydrates which gets stored by the body. You want to eat as less carbs as possible.

Priority is calorie(1500 kcal/day) > carbs (close to 50-60% of your total calorie) > fat (20%, 20% protein)

>>1247808
>>1247812
The main issue for that is simply this. You can always stop smoking, and never smoke again. Same with alcohol, arguably with any other substance. Food? You can't. You can't totally stop food, and that makes it probably the WORST addiction to have, because you can't stop it, and thus you're always aggravating that need to overeat or to eat shit.

Cut calories. Do some more exercise, lifting weights is better because you can do more in less time. Cardio is for conditioning yourself, not for losing weight- you can do cardio for an hour and then feel hungry and reward yourself by eating like shit and make negative progress.

Eat Ephedrine, Caffiene, and Aspirin- google ECA stack.

>>1251569
A tiny bit of carbs is okay (unless you are trying to go full ketosis, which is pretty nuts)
Your central nervous system can only run on carbs. Your body can convert protein to carbs for this purpose, but it is will try not to and send youn a lot of hunger signals instead.

You will accidentally eat enough carbs to accomplish this though if you are an american.

>>1251748
Full ketosis is about 90 percent calories from fat. Can be achieved by fasting too. Modified Atkins calls for about 70 percent calories from fat. Should try to have between 20 and 50 g of carbs per day. It's hard but the idea hunger changes once you're in ketosis.

>>1249930
type II diabetes is completely curable. it's called eat less and exercise more. but most fat fucks find self-control completely impractical, therefore, docs give out pills.

the chicken breast and broccoli diet works pretty well, tbqh. anything high protein and low carb, just avoid all those breaded fried foods.

the induction phase of Atkins is keto, fwiw.

if you want a book all about ketogenic diets, then look up Lyle McDonald.

>>1251897
>Type II diabetes is completely curable

You are overstating, and you know it. For the vast majority of people with type 2 diabetes it can be "cured," but not everyone. Stop being transparently dramatic.

>>1251741
You could replace food by soylent, it mostly don't count as "food".

>>1251918
No he's absolutely correct, you fat fuck.

>>1251897
>>1251960
Samefag much? You're claiming pancreatic cancer is curable with exercise and your fad diet? Damn son, I was even agreeing with you. Mostly. Except for how you're acting like an estrogen infused, cock gargling know it all.

>>1251999
How many times can you be wrong?
>Pancreatic cancer is diabetes
What third world shithole did you go to to get that medical degree?

>>1252003
Oh Anon... You and I both know that the next move is for me to accuse you of using Photoshop to do that, then I attack your strawman argument, set the record straight (pancreatic cancer can cause type 2 diabetes, you know what I meant), then sign off with a clever put down straight from 8th grade homeroom. But I'm not going to do that. You win, and fare well in all your future endeavors.

>>1247738

It was on there yes. Looked hilarious....

Honestly. Just go to the gym. Eat better.