/diy/ - Do It Yourself

>>1068823
Laser guidance with augmented reality app to make your wife's food look good

Aerodynamic carbon fiber build

Extra prongs

>>1068823
Instead of tines, just a nice smooth cocobolo handle with a very strong neodymium magnet plugged inside. Of course the food will have to be updated for compatibility.

>>1068823
Combine it with all other things. Knife, spoon, chop sticks, etc. Also add it to the IoT for some reason.

>>1068823
increase the battery life

>>1068823
/ck/ here

Balance it on your finger show us the sweetspot

>>1068828
12V or 18V?

We need heated prongs and the tines need to be able to rotate. It also needs a light so we can see the food. And a fuck load if magnets

>>1068823
Reduce it to 2 prongs.

Serration along the inner prongs.
That's fucking it.

>>1068867
480.
>>1068896
>it is now impossible to eat any kind of noodle
Thanks, guy.

Add warning labels for every possible hazard it might pose. Don't want to be sued by an upstanding citizen who intentionally stabbed themselves in the eye because they were not warned of the possible injury.

Magnetic insert heads for the fork, spoon, knife, skewer, chopstick, salad tosser, for a fully modular dining experience.

Supersonic vibration that increases penetration per pound of pressure but a factor of five hundred. No more struggling to get that obnoxious piece of food stuck, no more chasing around your plate the stubborn chunk you just can never seem to get on the first try.

A second row of prongs.

A DC current flowing through the prongs to further cook your food from the inside, giving a delicious later of char right at the core.

More prongs. Like seven of them.

Pic related

>>1068896
I already have problems cleaning the inner prongs, adding a serrated edge would make more grime to accumulate.

This sounds like a first year engineering assignment.

>>1068823
Make it double for obese people.

>>1068823
Humans found a fork, and in their joy, tried to make it theirs.

>>1068920
Here's one design for pregnant women.

>>1068823
Connect it to the cloud™

>>1068920
This is a fork for obese people.

>>1068922
Good one.

>>1068823
Reduce the number of tines to one.
Make the singular tine thicker to prevent turning of pierced food.
Sharpen an edge to accommodate the chopping of food into bite sized pieces.
Thicker handle for a more ergonomic grip.

>>1068823
Picatinny rails for accessories like laser sights, rangefinders maybe a foregrip for heavy food and prolonged mauling sessions

>>1068964
jokes aside
a line laser that aims exactly where the fork will poke at would be cool


also japanese steel folded 9001 times

MP3 player for romantic music. Remote built in for the fireplace. and a butane lighter for the candles.

>>1068965
>a line laser that aims exactly where the fork will poke at would be cool

only if you're so retarded you have 0 coordonation

>>1068965
Well, if we had a laser sight, then we can just put a blender on the Wapanese sharp like razor tines so it turns whatever it touches into some kind of chunked, violated liquid- then a pump sends it up a tube to the users face.
Less elbow strain, fatties don't even have to chew, the cunts just poke it into stuff and eat it.

>>1068969
it is just for a e s t h e t i c s.

>>1068971
then it wouldn't be a fork would it, at least keep it a "poking thing for manually picking up food to eat"

a artificial stomach would be completely outside the premise of the fork

>>1068955
You just described a knife.

Put it in a cake

>>1069022
>i'm so smart I'm the only one who recognized how stupid anon's statement was

> this feeling of superiority is almost as good as the smell of my own farts, or the taste of my own semen

I do like the smell of my own farts tho

>>1068823
Sharpen one side so you don't need a knife.

Heated pistol grip

>>1069119
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTygajaWaR0

>>1069119
also add some prongs to the knife so you can hold your meat while cutting it with your fork

>>1068823
put a nice juicy 16oz medium rare steak on th end of it.

>>1068823
Too complex, simple is better, aesthetics > functionality, charge 200% extra.

>>1069260
Nice. needs bluetooth and an optional stylus

>>1069260
Needs a FaceTime camera and $100 silicone cases, also it isn't curryproof

In this version we removed the outdated extra prong to make it more lightweight.
Adapter sold separately for $149.99

Built in blood glucose monitor and spark probes that shock you when you've exceeded 5.5mmol.

Also put a figerprint reader on it and make it shock anyone not registered so theives and gypsys cant take your cutlery

>>1068922
More like double mouthed xenomorphs

>>1068823
Sharper tines for getting ahold of that damn single leaf of salad laying flat on the plate.

>>1068901
t. uk

>>1068823
Splade. Splayd? Splayed?

b l e n d e r
who needs a fork when you can chug that fucking cake down your gullet

>>1069402
this but also a roughed up face of the blade/tines so that stuff doesnt fall off it as easily, and sauces and other liquids are carried with the food better

>>1069022
Reduce the number of tines to one.
Widen and dome the tine to form a shallow bowl.

>>1069449
You just described a shitty knife

Make it a tactical fork

Derp

>>1068901
Don't be a dork, bin that fork

>>1068969
>What is a joke

>>1068823
add some dish to it so i can use it to eat peas and corn
pic semi-related

Make it out of a4 grade cold forged steel with card coat anodized 6061 ALU handle

>>1069416
Splayd

It's been done.

>>1069534
Kek

>>1068922
What?

>>1068925
They are like cattle. Just pile that food up.

>>1068969
What if you have one eye? They have bad depth perception.

more tines

put the outside ones at an angle along the axis, basically putting a raised lip on either edge of the fork, for peas

but keep the rest of the fork flat so that when you're cutting you have a flat surface to direct the cut

counterweight on the other end, centre of gravity should be 2/3 up the handle of the fork when fully-laden with a typical foodstuff

Coat it in a super hydrophobic so you don't have to clean stubborn sauces off of it.... also make it out of memory metal so if it gets bent up you can throw it in the oven and get it back to its exact original shape... also put an arduino on it for blog cred.

>>1068823
Port and starboard attatchments

>>1068823
I'd probably attach a six axis sex bot driven rolling pin pizza slicer to it.

>>1069826
This is actually a really great idea minus the memeduino. I think you're on to something.

>>1069931
I remember seeing something about a super hydrophobic coating that was based on surface texture like small scratches rather than a chemical based one.... originally for toilets.. probably the best way to go for this..

Needs a bayonet lug

>>1068823
A fork doesn't need an edge to have that extra edge.
I prefer all my utensils in balisong form so I can show off my sic skilz.

id attach a dead baby to the end of it.

We remove the fork entirely and give every customer their own fat suit to simulate already having obtained sustenance.


>>1069943
>Originally for toilets

Who the fuck is just out there as we speak bending their fucking toilet every time they take a shit? And why the fuck did they think it would be better to put the toilet in the fucking oven?

Only thing that can improve the fork is stabilize it so you can eat less without them jumping off the fork

https://www.liftware.com/

>>1069339
make shure its threaded so it won't fall off

>>1068922
I don't get it

>>1068823
Put a clock in it

Due to demand

>>1068823
1. Spoon on the other end.
2. One side of the fork should be wider and slightly sharpened to serve as knife. A bit wider so it would have smearing function of butterknife. It doesn't need to be really sharp because you can "cut" lot of warm food with the edge of the normal fork anyway, also no one wants to cut their lips.
3. Decently balanced with comfortable grip.
4. Obviously stainless, like all silverware now, but maybe you could use some new nanotechnology to improve it. For example it could be easy to wash or if you heat it up enough in the fire or something, you can slightly bend and model it to your own needs.

>>1070988
People say that pregnant women has to eat for one person and half

>>1070865
where can I buy this?

>>1070868
>>>/b/
>>1070865
Lost
>>1070990
Nice
>>1071089
I've always heard it expressed as "eating for two"

>>1069943
>originally for toilets.
They use it to "paint" lower walls in streets near pubs in Germany. When you piss on it, it's doesn't get wet so hard it splashes piss right back at you.
I wouldn't use it in places intended for pissing.

>>1070880
I kinda want that, but I also kinda hoped to never have withdrawals again.
Shit.

>>1071125
>"eating for two"
Isn't that for tapeworm?

>>1071131
>They use it to "paint" lower walls in streets near pubs in Germany. When you piss on it, it's doesn't get wet so hard it splashes piss right back at you.

Clever

Withdrawals?
Oh, I've never heard that used for a tapewoorm where I'm from. (New England)

>>1069449
>>1069451

>>1068866
Like this?

>>1071365
>that image

Add barbs on the side of one prong like knifes have.
Not too sharp, just enough to give it an edge.
I've been meaning to cast one out of aluminum.

>>1071499
Dude. Manufacturer that and sell it to fast food. Plastic though.

>>1068921
Lol. Neon genesis

>>1069574
spork is god-tier utensil

>>1071365
How?

>>1071499
You mean knork?

>>1069768

>>1069768

>>1069768

Rotating jackhammer tines, laser guided stabbing, with robotic arm.

>>1068823
electric gravity fork that pulls the food on your fork

>>1068823

Bend the ends of the tines up ever so slightly, so that lettuce and other rabbit foods stay on more readily.

>>1070885
It's magsafe™.

>>1068823

>>1071108
Well, for the next week they can be purchased at the Mansfield covered bridge festival in Indiana. Some dude has the set of three (fork, knife, spoon) in balisong format for $30.

>>1071365
this makes no god damn sense

ƒrankly these are all we'd need

What it really needs is a bloodline, so when you're finished you can just sling all the gravy off onto the floor or whatever.

>>1069260
Looks like that came as a toothpick in a $1.99 swiss army knife.

>>1069339
I was wrong, THAT's the toothpick.

>>1068903
Excelwnt choice mr. Lister.

>>1072491
For the American market?

>>1072767
Weebfag

>>1072981
>>1071919
>>1071435

I fear for the future of /diy/

>>1072792

why

You could stick it in your ass.