/diy/ - Do It Yourself

>working at a lumberyard
>Thot comes in, big tits, crop top, booty shorts, flip flops, 14lbs of makeup
>"hey, where's your 2 by 6 12s in brown?"
>She actually knows what she wants, that's kind of weird
>"third aisle to your right, about halfway down"
>ezpz
Later
>big tradie looking motherfucker comes in
>Looks like a tradie, walks like a tradie, probably smells like one too not that I want to get too close
>approach him, "hi there, did you want a hand with anything? Or have any questions?"
>Pretty standard stuff, do this for almost all customers
>"Uh... Yeah, so my boss sent me to get some wood"
>"What were you after?"
>"Uh... It was like seven and uh... three quarters by ninety six by one point seven five"
>proceed to have a stroke listening to this guy try to list off what he needs
later
>Out in the yard, flat stacking
>guy comes over
>"Hey where are your two by fours?"
>I'm flat stacking the two by fours. I have one in my hands. He's looking right at them.
>"you're lookin at em, what length were you after?"
>"those aren't two by fours"
>The fuck do you mean they're not two by fours? They're fucking two by fours, are you blind man? Jesus Christ
>"yeah they are"
>he takes out a tape measure
>Oh god not this episode again
>I feel the blood clot break off as it starts to make it's way to my brain
>"see? It's only 1½ inches by 3½ inches. That's not too by for"
>The stroke happens
>Have to explain to him that 2x4s get milled down and they're all the same yadda yadda wanna kill myself
>"Oh... Uh... Are you sure?"
>Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeëëëēēēē

Such is life as a lumberyard wagie.