/diy/ - Do It Yourself

20 years ago I planted grape vines. in that time I have eaten 0 (zero) nil, nada, none, no, not a single grape. This year I might (maybe) finally get to eat some. but the year is not over yet.

Obstacles I have tried to over come in getting a single grape on my table: Birds eat or peck at the grapes before they are even remotely ripe destroying them. Skeletonizing caterpillars eat all the leaves stunting the vines. The bags I bought to protect the grapes disintegrated. If you cut the vines back you won't get grapes for 2 years.

expenses:
10 grape bags $6.87
50 grape bags $6.99 disintigarted
20 grape bags $12.99 just ordered
brid repellent $14.99
bird repellent $31.35
Bird repellent ?? possibly $50
total about $123

If I get 1 pound of grapes this year they will be the most expensive grapes ever produced at $123 per pound. Fuck me. If I get no grapes I'm cutting the vines down and salting the earth where the were planted.

I'm not bitter.