/diy/ - Do It Yourself

>>2605170
(story cont'd)
Naturally, everyone in the entire store clapped and carried me to my truck on their shoulders (while singing "Happy Birthday" for some reason).

The staff started calling me "The Fixer" and every time I went in the store, one of the employees came running up to me with a new problem for me to solve:
>tightening up a rattling shelf
>defusing an IED
>opening a can of beans
>performing an emergency c-section
>cutting a birthday cake
>shaving some dude's balls (long story)

After a while they put a permanent photo of me on the wall, next to the Employee of the Month. When the Regional Manager came to visit, he scoffed. But then he went to the in-store Walmart Subway for lunch, and they forgot to cut his sub. Guess who was prepped and ready with a miniature saw?

Eventually my EDC skills came to the attention of the Walton Cartel themselves, and I was hired as the official national Corporate Fixer. Some days, I'm using the flat blade screwdriver to scrape tar off the floor tiles. Other days, I'm using the hook tool to brutally torture a store manager who's been skimming profits from Lawn & Garden. But whatever the job, my Leatherman®™ never lets me down.

>>2605170
(story cont'd)
Naturally, everyone in the entire store clapped and carried me to their car on their shoulders (and singing "Happy Birthday" for some reason). The staff started calling me "The Fixer" and every time I went in the store, one of the employees came running up to me with a new problem for me to solve:
>tightening up a rattling shelf
>defusing an IED
>opening a can of beans
>performing an emergency c-section
>cutting a birthday cake
>shaving some dude's balls (long story)

After a while they put a permanent photo of me on the wall, next to the Employee of the Month. When the Regional Manager came to visit, he scoffed. But then he went to the in-store Walmart Subway for lunch, and they forgot to cut his sub. Guess who was prepped and ready with a miniature saw?

Eventually my EDC skills came to the attention of the Walton Cartel themselves, and I was hired as the official national Corporate Fixer. Some days, I'm using the flat blade screwdriver to scrape tar off the floor tiles. Other days, I'm using the hook tool to brutally torture a store manager who's been skimming profits from Lawn & Garden. But whatever the job, my Leatherman®™ never lets me down.