/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9327375]

Alright manchildren. Femanon here to teach you how to cook for success. I've been seeing some of y'all trying to make ramen, chicken nuggets, and other things that require cooking, so this recipe is gonna be oven/stove/microwave free

[Anonymous No.9327395]

Step one is to gather your ingredients. Most of you will probably have to go shopping for these, but they're with the money. In fact, they'll be cheaper in the long term than chicken nuggets, (and ramen, if you count the hospital bills).
1)Bread. I recommend wheat, because white bread is for heathens.
2)Peanut butter. Crunchy or creamy is fine. Don't waste your money on almond butter or anything else. Your tongue will thank me later.
3) Jelly/Jam/Preserves. Don't skimp on this one. That plastic-squirt-bottle trash will make you sick and if you throw up, that's precious food wasted.

PS: sorry about the glare, it's getting late and my phone's flash sucks.

[Anonymous No.9327411]

Step 2.
Find a knife. If your roommates (assuming you have the socialization skills necessary to share an apartment) are like mine, you might have to do some searching or cleaning. Luckily, there was one in the drawer so I didn't have to clean up after my roommate.

[Anonymous No.9327415]

please show feet

[Anonymous No.9327424]

Putting on a dress doesn't automatically make you a woman.

[Anonymous No.9327425]

Clean your camera lens

[Anonymous No.9327426]

Next, lay out 4 slices of bread like this. The one on the right will get peanut butter first.

[Anonymous No.9327435]

this is already really stupid and annoying. just stop

[Anonymous No.9327443]

also, i bet 20 bucks OP is over 200 pounds

[Anonymous No.9327450]

It doesn't have to be perfect, just keep it even enough.

PS: use a butter knife if you have one, not a bread knife. I know it's called butter knife, but trust me it works fine for sandwiches, and you don't want to cut yourself (while cooking at least. I recommend against it as a general rule, though). Clean the knife by scraping it over the inside lip of the peanut butter jar.

[a white guy ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ No.9327451]

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

[Anonymous No.9327453]

>>9327435
>>9327443
rude

>>>/b/

[Anonymous No.9327466]

>this entire thread

[Anonymous No.9327471]

Jelly is next. That way the bread fits together. If one of the slices is an end piece, you really have to follow this step. Otherwise you risk getting your jelly spilled.

PS: I just realized I spilled some jelly while getting it out of the jar. Blame the lack of lights in my apartment.

[Anonymous No.9327476]

living with roommates is a sign of being a loser. posting pictures of the filth you live in is pathetic. ironically showing "manlets" how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with generic jelly and generic bread is lowest class.

[Anonymous No.9327479]

Now make the bread kiss. Pretend one is you and the other is one of your cum-stained anime figurines.

[Anonymous No.9327487]

>>9327479
BUT WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE OTHER TWO SLICES OF BREAD? I NEED TO KNOW FAST!

[Anonymous No.9327489]

please show feet

[Anonymous No.9327492]

Peanut butter again. Use the same unwashed knife because your roommate is a piece of shit who never cleans the dishes like she promised to, and she also happens to have a deadly raspberry allergy.

[Anonymous No.9327505]

this is worse than a mcdonalds chicken sandwich thread, at least those are slightly funny

[Anonymous No.9327510]

Almost finished!
Put some jelly in that last slice, (I used the jelly I spilled on the counter, because at least that's clean), then repeat the kiss from before.

[Anonymous No.9327515]

please show feet

[Anonymous No.9327520]

Finally, put away the ingredients. While you're in the cabinet, take a picture of your roommate's half so you feel better about being poor.

[Anonymous No.9327524]

>>9327520
I would unironically feel no remorse were I to murder and eat you and your roommate.

[Anonymous No.9327525]

>>9327492
>cant eat raspberries

that poor poor soul...

[Anonymous No.9327527]

you and your roommate are filthy roaches

[Anonymous No.9327531]

i wouldnt fuck OP even if i had a borrowed dick to do it with

[Anonymous No.9327532]

And voila! A semi-accurate reproduction of the meal a functional human being would actually eat!
Don't forget your daily multivitamins, and a handful of painkillers.

[Anonymous No.9327534]

please show feet

[Anonymous No.9327538]

>>woman
>>can't cook

This is why men are going after robot s

[Anonymous No.9327547]

>made us a sandwich
at least you know your place in life

[Anonymous No.9327558]

>>9327443
Clearly you're not paying attention. This thread is for poorfags who can't afford to weigh over 140.

[Anonymous No.9327567]

please show feet

[Anonymous No.9327572]

>>9327525
She makes do with her Vanilla Ramen recipe. Y'all would feel right at home in a thread where I taught you how to make that one.

[Anonymous No.9327591]

>>9327532
>Don't forget your daily multivitamins, and a handful of painkillers.
https://youtu.be/E4E-3GE9bKo

[Anonymous No.9328651]

>>9327395
when my tongue thanks you, can we film it?

[Anonymous No.9328684]

Love the thread, OP. Not for the "food", but for how much it trolls the autists.

[Anonymous No.9328689]

>>9327375
>manchildren

[Anonymous No.9328692]

Best thread in /ck/ at the moment.

[Anonymous No.9328730]

Pls show armpits

[Anonymous No.9328775]

>>9327532
Kek

[Anonymous No.9328882]

OP pls post feet

[Anonymous No.9328895]

Please show feet, you whore

[Anonymous No.9328910]

POST FEET