/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9947733]

Worst food-related accident. Go.

[Anonymous No.9947747]

This happened today to one of my greenhorn amigos

[Anonymous No.9947753]

>those fingernails
of course it was a woman

[Anonymous No.9947761]

Trying to cut bacon bits with a bread knife lol.

[Anonymous No.9947765]

Knife fell off a magnetic rack and impaled my hand.

Went to the hospital to make sure there was no tendon damage or anything. Indirect employer insisted on a drug test (I was clean but he can suck 50 cocks).

[Anonymous No.9947773]

[Anonymous No.9947787]

>>9947761
Before the stitches

[Anonymous No.9947925]

>>9947733
> Peeling potatoes
> Slip
> Peel fingertip, taking off a significant chunk of skin and fingernail
> Blood flows freely, but I manage not to end up with bloody potatoes

Non-prep-related
> Bend down to get lettuce in the store
> Nudged over by someone
> They keep edging over, forcing me to keep going
> Straighten up
> Smack head into hanging scale
> Idiot who caused it pays no attention, walks off
> Nobody seems to care about the fact that I just concussesd myself.

[Anonymous No.9947945]

>flip whole chicken in crock pot over
>boiling greasy broth splatters on my hand

Felt bad man

[Anonymous No.9947957]

>drunk af making rice and beans
>gf watching, drinking
>slice thumb wide open when i was moving things from blade to pan
>blood pours out
>add all my blood to the rice

tasted pretty good

[Anonymous No.9947961]

>>9947733
sliced my finger down to bone when opening a can of tomatoes

[Anonymous No.9947975]

>>9947733
>Making pork chops and fennel
>Recipe calls for starting out in skillet, then transferring skillet to oven.
>Do so, take skillet out of oven and put down on counter
>Do something else, then forget skillet is still hot from being in the oven, pick it up barehanded
>Singe hand, drop skillet, which falls onto my bare legs with the hot pork chop and juices (I was wearing shorts).

At least my burned legs didn't seem so bad in comparison to the 3rd degree burns I had on my hand.

[Anonymous No.9948090]

>>9947733
>no air conditioning in hot kitchen midsummer
>upwards of 45C and 100% humidity in the dish pit
>plead with restaurant owner to allow me to wear shorts
>icing my jugulars and carotids every 20 mins to avoid heatstroke
>washing dishes in the dual sink
>restaurant owner "misses" the sink
>pours a skillet full of boiling sauce directly on my bare fucking leg
>get blamed for wearing shorts
I swear he did it on purpose. Fucking guy fired me over a cup of barbecue sauce after I cleared it with the line manager. He was the kind of owner who watched you on camera while you were solo closing instead of helping you. What a tyrant. Glad he went out of business.

[Anonymous No.9948096]

The worst food-related accident I saw in person as at the meat shop I worked at years ago. Someone dropped his cimeter blade and tried to catch it while he was turning (a rookie mistake. We're always warned to never reach for a fallen blade or to attempt to catch them)- he caught the knife, but bumped into the table beside him; thus running probably a third of the blade into his stomach after which he weakly stated "hah, I caught it" through a half wheeze of air. He had to get emergency treatment and was sent to the hospital. He made a full recovery, but started wearing a metal vest after that.

No pictures, but I'm sure you can imagine what it looked like.

[Anonymous No.9948154]

My family never really owned sharp chef knifes - just cheap serrated ones but I'd never cut myself. When I went to college I bought myself a sharp kitchen knife (because "a dull knife is always more dangerous" right?) Washing the dishes one day I noticed something on my hand and for some reason I thought it was the skin from a peeled dark grape - then the pain came. I'd cut a gash open in my hand.

[Anonymous No.9949001]

Only a WOMANLY FAGGOT would go the hospital for that BULLSHIT. REAL MEN just pull the knife out and don't whine.

[Anonymous No.9949033]

>>9949001
Those nails would indicate that the patient is not male.
My dilemma is how to keep the space under the sink clean when the doors are zip tied shut.

[Anonymous No.9949046]

>>9949033
I know. It's a joke about the last time there was a thread with this picture as OP. Some guy sperged out about how only a big pussy would go to the hospital instead of pulling the knife out and possibly ruining all the tendons in their hand.

[Anonymous No.9949056]

>>9947733
Cutting a lemon with an unorthodox knife, and it just shaved through my thumb like butter.

[Anonymous No.9949210]

>Working at Mexican restaurant
>Frying chips during a massive lunch rush, going faster than I probably should be to keep up
>Push fryer basket and 375 degree oil splatters all over the right side of my face and into my right eye
>Feel plastic melting and my vision going
>Rip off glove and melting contact lens out of my eye

My manager told me that if I had been a couple seconds slower I probably would have gone at least partially blind

[Anonymous No.9949481]

>>9947733
>>9947747
>>9947761
>>9947773
>>9947765
>>9947787
This is a Safe For Work yotsuba B board. Some people will find these gore pictures and stories highly triggering. Please be respectful and keep the gore on /b/ where it belongs.

[Anonymous No.9949522]

>>9949481
faggot

[Anonymous No.9949585]

>>9949522
>replying to obvious shitposting

[Anonymous No.9949615]

>>9947733
>Second prep making mashed taters in the steam cooker for the first time
> Lift lid and hand gets smacked with a second degree burn - nearly instant blister

>Wrap up my shift, go home and get drunk and ice my hand while my gf bitches about me bailing on dinner plans.

[Anonymous No.9949646]

>>9947733

fell asleep whilst drunkenly boiling some water, apparently dunked some Spaghetti in there...triggered a fire-alarm after all the water was evaporated,I slept through it.... was fucking fun being woken up by firefighters, one of my finer moments

[Anonymous No.9949665]

>>9949646
I did that once, didnt burn anything, but I didnt completely ruin a very nice copper pot.

[Anonymous No.9949690]

>>9948096
>he weakly stated "hah, I caught it" through a half wheeze of air.

What was it like working with Chuck Norris aside from the knife mishap?

[Anonymous No.9949697]

>>9947733
>hit the avocado with enough force to stab through both the seed and the hand
>avocado flesh is completely clean and undisturbed

I'll take fake shit for 1000$ Alex

[Anonymous No.9949738]

>>9949665

mine is just of the cheap ass 'your first pans and pots' set variety, but i kept it and still cook with it, the patina that's engraved at the bottom servers as a reminder of sorts

[Anonymous No.9949751]

>work at kfc
>one coworker is some high school faggot stoner that dicks around all shift
>comes in the evenings smelling like weed bruh XD
>wearing fucking toms on this evening
>roastie on assembly got fucking butter on the floor
>fryboy slips and goes arm first into fryalator
>screaming like a tom and jerry sound fx
>manager afk
>tell shelly to call 911
>first aid license so tending to his dumb ass
>hes KOd from pain
>drive thru customers still screaming for muh chiken
>amberlamps shows up
>manager alerted by shelly before hand
>his fat ass shows up and starts yelling for whats going on
>goes off on us for incoming lawsuit
>tell him it's entirely stoner kids fault
>assistant manager and floor leader fired because they didnt show up since it was day after prom (only adult employee was manager)
>promoted to assistant manager and strong arm that shit
>quit after working by self 2 days in a row

[Anonymous No.9949762]

>>9949738
Oxalic acid, aka Bar Keeper's Friend will take it off. Make a paste and let it sit on the stain for a minute or two, scrub it off, keep doing it until the stain is gone.
Part of why I love my old stainless Revereware I get from thrift stores, it's almost impossible to completely fuck it up.

[Anonymous No.9949782]

>>9949762

interesting, and thanks man

[Anonymous No.9949805]

>>9947787
Eww fuck, you know, I've seen a lot of fucked up stuff here, but shit involving fingernails fucks me up

[Anonymous No.9950132]

[Anonymous No.9950147]

>>9949751
when you say by yourself do you mean you were literally the only person in the store? Fuck i woulda just called the regional manager and said boss noone here no work

[Anonymous No.9950153]

>show up to friend's house drunk
>he asks me to check something in the oven
>it's a pan so i grab it to get a better look

[Anonymous No.9950164]

>>9947787
Your hands seem a little dirty. Have you tried using lava soap? Whenever I've got grease rubbed into my skin, it takes it right out. Or Try that orange pumice soap.

Heal up fast friend!

[Anonymous No.9950196]

A co-worker stabbed me in the eye and a different go-worker bumped into me when I was carrying a big tray of sauces out of the cooler causing it to slip from my hands and slam into my finger -- the impact sliced through to the bone.
Different times but both at the same place.

[Anonymous No.9950226]

>>9949697
If you look at it, the knife missed the seed.

[Anonymous No.9950227]

Serrano pepper penis :(

[Anonymous No.9950283]

yeehaw I got a good one

I was cutting a massive block of cheese in to pieces to put it through the grater, like a 4kg block.
For some fuckin reason, this time I wasn't using a towel in my other hand as I pushed down on the knife. SLIPPED, and the point of the knife cut me deeply about 3cm long in the palm of my hand.
Took one look at it and told my manager I had to get to the ER, which was a fuckin journey in of itself, with misplaced ubers and complications BUT I GOT THERE. Had started to get quite worried on the way because I couldn't bend my thumb. Turns out I'd severed the fucking tendon.
Anyway that got me an operation and six weeks off work. Story doesn't end there though, a month or so later the fixed tendon ended up rupturing so I was back at the hospital, and this time they needed extra tendon to graft on because it had been a while, or something, I forget.
Like 14% or something of people DON'T have extra tendon in their wrists, I was one of those 14%, so they had to take the tendon from one of my feet. For some reason they took it from the foot that was on the same side of the body as the injured hand, so I wasn't even able to use a cane or a walking stick, I was stuck in a wheelchair for bloody another 6 weeks. Ended up getting fired from that job when I refused to change my surgery date so the other chef could take his scheduled holiday (wtf you cunts for real?) so I ended up taking about 5 months off in total. Sadly I'd only been getting paid half legit, so the work cover only paid me half my wage the whole time. Good times, I'm still trying to recover from the financial shitfuck that put me in, 2 years later.

I wish I still had pictures of the awesome butcher work they did on me but I think I lost em all when I transitioned from male to female, ahehehah na when I transitioned from iphone to android. OUT

[Anonymous No.9950377]

>>9950147
Yep. Manager would always sleep in or just not show up. It was a two sided deal since we could do the same. There were times when he was the key holder and never showed so we were closed for the day

[Anonymous No.9950689]

>>9950132
Oops

[Anonymous No.9950716]

This thread is like ye olde papercut threads.
I can feel where I got stabbed when you remind me like this.

[Anonymous No.9951514]

Mandoline accident on nye

[Anonymous No.9951626]

>>9950196
Was the stabbing intentional? Did you lose your eye?

Not so much cooking, but I was washing dishes, and when I was washing a glass it just shattered in my hand and cut me up. Not sure if it just hit the sink a little hard when it was put in, or if it was a cold to hot kinda thing.

Also was prepping cheese for the restaurant I used to work at, fell asleep, when I snapped back up I noticed drool fall out of my mouth into the bowl of cheese. I didn't throw away the cheese.

[Anonymous No.9951871]

>>9947733
>be linecook
>random bits of burned crap floating around the fryalotor.
>take rag to wipe it up
>fatiged and overcaffinated ass slips and sticks entire hand in fryer.
Probably for like 1/4th of a second, it hurt like hell, but miraculously I wasnt seriously burned. I had pretty strong "kitchen hands" at that point.

[Anonymous No.9952378]

>>9947733
>Be me
>One day i woke up 6am to get ready to work
>Decide to make me some coffe
>I take the thermal bottle to prepare said coffe but i notice that there is water inside
>Whatever, gona ad this water anyway
>Boil the water and ad in the cloth filter that i have (that paper filter is gabbor, you guys know right?)
>I felt a strange smell in the air but i didn't care so much at the moment
>I put that delicious coffe in my favorite mug and take a huge sip
>My throat is fucking burning and i spit that fucking thing all over the kitchen
>Start cough a lot and my stomach is very strange
>Rush to bathrom and puke for 2 minutes
>Felling very sick
>The only thing i can feel is pain
>My room mate found me in the bathrom crying and holding my belly
>FUCKING HELP ME FAGGOT
>He take me to the hospital
>Doctor take care of me and he brings some news about the coffe that i just have in the morning
>That water in the thermal bottle was Bleach. >My room mate said that he ad the bleach because that helps in the process of cleaning (or that fucker was planing to kill me)

I just drank bleach and survive to share this story with you all.

[Anonymous No.9952422]

>>9947733
I've got a lot of superficial cuts on my hands from playing danger cook with my roommate but nothing too bad.
Worst thing was burning my foot dropping a roasting pot with a bunch of braised lamb. Was actually looking forward to the lamb though, smelled really good.

[Anonymous No.9952424]

>>9947733
My father flipping big piece of bacon (around 3kg) on pan full of boiling lard. Bacon slipped and splashed a lot of that hot fat on his chest. Luckily it was only first degree burns, but on big area. But he suffered quite a lot, it was hot summer, and he barely slept for week or so. However he had excuse to drink beer, because of that pain, my mother had pity on him, so no nagging.

[Anonymous No.9952487]

>>9952378
time to get new roomates

[Anonymous No.9952510]

>>9952487
>Not washing out or even checking what a mystery liquid in your thermos is
90 percent his own fault.

[Anonymous No.9952548]

>camping with friends
>making cobbler in a Dutch oven
>we're around the fire and I'm kinda tired
>get up to take a piss
>put side of hand down on oven to pick myself up
>second degree burns down entire hand
>still finish camping trip
>best fuckin cobbler I ever had

[Anonymous No.9952574]

>making fudge
>Accidentally flip thermometer when checking boiling fudge
>Big glob of hot fudge hits hand
>Horrific pain
>Run to sink to get it off
>Won't come off, have to peel it while it is burning
>Takes layer of skin with it
>Rest of fudge burns in the background

[Anonymous No.9952591]

Good retard thread.

[Anonymous No.9952617]

>>9952510
You know, i have this strange custom of filling the termal bottle with cold water before sleep so i can make the bottle more clean. In the next day i use the same water to prepare the coffe, the water has a tea kind of color and i believe that tastes better.

[Anonymous No.9952687]

>>9947957
Uma delícia?

[Anonymous No.9953229]

>>9951626
It wasn't intentional, no. My coworker was holding a chef's knife outward at his hip and I was grabbing something from the bottom shelf of a refrigerator. He turned around with it and it stabbed my eye.
Doctors said I'll lose some vision but I won't completely lose sight in it, so there's that.

[Anonymous No.9953273]

>>9947733
was working at a grocery store, got a deli sandwich for lunch and went into the back deli room to eat and bullshit with people like usual. Sandwich wasn't cut in half so took a watermelon knife to cut it. got some mustard on it so wiped it with my apron and ended up slicing the pad halfway off my thumb.

[Anonymous No.9953873]

>>9947733
"Avo cant though"hur

[Anonymous No.9953942]

I was cooking some burgers in a frying pan and I slapped one on there hard enough for some of the lard from the last patty I Cooke splattered into my arm. Sorry for the potato quality I'm on an iPad

[Anonymous No.9953952]

>>9953942
Holy fuck, I've gotten 375F fryer grease and not reacted like that. Did you rinse it off with cool (not cold) water?

[Anonymous No.9953975]

>>9953952
Nope just flinched and kept cooking shitty burgers

[Anonymous No.9954068]

Opening one of these cunts when I was a kid,, the key thing snapped off when it was nearly open so I grabbed the metal strip that I'd peeled off and tried to yank it, sliced three of my fingers open.
Used to chase around shrieking girls with my wounds in school, haha I was a loser

[Anonymous No.9954094]

>Just finished frying tostadas
>Put the pot next to the sink so i can use the same burner
>Ex comes in and says he's gonna do dishes
>Hear the sink running and turn to see him tipping the pot towards the water
>Oil splatters everywhere and in a panic, he throws the pot in my direction and splashes oil on my left arm, feet, and face
>As I'm screaming in agony about my skin, he yells at me that he didn't know it was gonna do that and I should've warned him

Luckily I was wearing glasses so oil didn't get in my eye. Had plenty of blisters everywhere but I healed perfectly fine except for a dime sized scar on my arm.

[Anonymous No.9954105]

Just dumb shit mostly

>making cabbage stew while drunk
>want to smell stew to see if it needs anything
>crack lid open and shove my nose in for a sniff
>steam burn my upper lip and nose

[Anonymous No.9954111]

>>9951871
Probably Leidenfrost effect

[Anonymous No.9954138]

>>9947945
Shit, I've been there.

[Anonymous No.9954605]

>>9950283
ur a kooky cat

[Anonymous No.9954698]

Ive never had any serious injuries but the amount of motherfucking times I hit my arms on the heating element of my oven is insane. I somehow just keep doing it, atleast 5 times a year. Youd think Id learn but somehow I just dont.

Worst thing I ever had was spilling pizza sauce that had just been boiling hot onto my thumb as I tried to ladel it into a jar. I couldnt let go of the jar cause I had it in the air and didnt want to smash the glass. So I had to let the hot as fuck pizza sauce rest on my thumb for a good 30sec while I put everything down and then put it under water. Had a 2nd degree burn along the entire side of the thumb which was a huge bitch. I cut it open and cleaned it after a week though and it healed perfectly fine.

[Anonymous No.9954814]

Lost all common sense and decided to check if there was a hole in the blender with my fingers. There was indeed a hole. At least I didn't hurt my nerves or tendons.

[Anonymous No.9954830]

>>9950226
point still stands if you omit the seed from my comment

[Anonymous No.9955439]

>Be me
>work at freezing works in New Zealand.
>rail boning big fat old ewes that have been deep chilled for 2 days and by fat I mean 5cm hard fat.
>start of shift so your body is still cold and everybody is going as hard as they can to get warmed up and those carcasses are worth a bit on your tally rate.
>Mare sure my knives are sharp AF to make the job easier.
> Mark down the spine and start at the neck and work down to the rib cage and on the last true rib I hit the breast bone, angle my knife slightly and i comes lose.
>HMMM that didn`t seem right, look down rip in my pants ok maybe i hit my chainlink.
>pull work pants down a bit OOH fuck .JPEG rip in jeans just under my chainlink.
> walk to office tell supervisor i have to go to the first aid station he ask why i show him my now blood stained jeans.
>Down 4 flights of stairs to the first aid to get drug tested and 5 stitches and a nice tetanus shot, the knife went in about 12 cm/ 5" .
>Be back at work the next day LoL

[Anonymous No.9955471]

hit the nut with the flat of the blade and twist

[Anonymous No.9955477]

>>9949585
It's really easy these days to tell who came here naturally and who's from certain related surges of traffic at certain points during the 2010s.

[Anonymous No.9955490]

>>9955471
>Flat of the blade
u wot m8

[Anonymous No.9955508]

>>9947787
How do you stitch a fingernail?

[Anonymous No.9955585]

>>9949697

Idiot hit the seed with the knife trying to cut it and the kbife slid off and through the avocado. Its doubly retarded because you can clean an avocado with a butter knife

[Anonymous No.9955620]

>>9951871

Leidenfrost bro.

[Anonymous No.9955626]

>>9952378

How much fucking bleach was it? Because bleach goes inert when you water it down.

[Anonymous No.9955636]

>>9953975

Retard.

[Anonymous No.9955647]

>>9947761
i did the saame thing a month ago doing parsley. i didn't get stiches though because im not a pussy

[Anonymous No.9955830]

I deep-fried my hand for a split second at work once. I’m usually not wet brained enough to dip my hand in a fryer so it was actually way more terrifying than the times i’d Lost fingernails slicing green onions or nearly poked off a digit deboning half shell redfish in a freezer. Only my thumb and palm got crispy

[Anonymous No.9955861]

>>9955830
did u nibble the skin?

[Anonymous No.9955893]

>>9955830
>Kentucky Fried Coon

[Anonymous No.9955902]

>>9954094
>frying tostadas
Tostadas are already fried though it's like saying you're going to toast toast

[Anonymous No.9955911]

>>9955830
>

[Anonymous No.9955931]

>>9955490
I think he means the flat part of the edge, as opposed to the tip of the blade.

[Anonymous No.9956479]

>>9947733
My dad lost a finger in a meat grinder.

[Anonymous No.9956502]

>>9955902
ALL
TOASTERS
TOAST
TOAST

[Anonymous No.9956614]

>Burn myself getting something out of the oven
>Smell of lightly cooked human flesh permeates through the kitchen

[Anonymous No.9956624]

The only time i ever cut myself was with a butter knife

[Anonymous No.9956782]

>>9947733
be dumb and never owned a microwave untill adulthood
try to boil rice for 10 min in microwave
try to take out with bare hands
burn hands
drop bowl on crotch
3rd degree burns on legs
but somehow Dick is fine
can't show anyone cos of cuts from self harm all over legs

I'm less stupid
don't own a microwave
don't self harm as much

>still forget to green text

[Anonymous No.9956832]

>>9947753
Theres literally a tit in the picture, dont need the fingernails.

[Anonymous No.9956853]

one of the more recent burns I got was when I used a tea towel as a pot holder. The Towel was wet and I grabbed a cast iron pan that was in the oven at around 400F. Got steam burns on my dominant hand. Good times.

[Anonymous No.9956966]

>>9956502
Spaghetti

[Anonymous No.9956973]

>>9955626
I drank watered down bleach as a kid and I assure you it still burnt my throat.

[Anonymous No.9956992]

>>9954094
> Woman
> Boyfriend
> Throwing pot
What a stupid pair of people. Gtfo my board.

[Anonymous No.9957005]

>>9955508
You don't.

[Anonymous No.9957026]

>>9955931
Thats called the heel

[Anonymous No.9957037]

>>9955471
this isn't safe at all.

[Anonymous No.9957052]

>>9950283
be my friend pls

[Anonymous No.9957058]

>>9947733
This is probably the worst that happened to me.
I'm very careful.

[Anonymous No.9957062]

>>9957058
Forgot Pic.

[Anonymous No.9957471]

>>9956853
Ive done that before. I intentionally wet the towel cause I thought it was a smart idea. I figured Id only be in contact with the pan for about 10sec so it would be enough time to grab the pan from the oven and move it to the stovetop.

It instantly steamed the water on the towel and gave my hand an intense burning and I had to drop the pan. I dont know why I made such a stupid choice, I knew better even before I did it. Luckily I wasnt burned that badly.

[Anonymous No.9957537]

>>9955861
For weeks yes it was great

[Anonymous No.9957549]

>>9947733
Ofme had taken the afternoon off to attend a Tupperware maid convention or her sister's funeral or some other thing poor people do, I don't remember. When I got out of bed at 3, starving to death, all I could see on the lounge table were fruits -- if she had prepared breakfast for me, I wasn't about to go hunting for it in the fridge or god knows where else she might have kept it. Still, my survival instincts kicked in and I reached for the Dekopon. I didn't even have the chance to take a bite as the injury happened as I was trying the first peel.

Even the nurses at the ER took pause at the sight of the massacre; especially when I told them how I had to fend for myself, after which I went on to present them with my chipped nail in one of Trixie's doggy-purses.

Unfortunately, they weren't able to reattach the missing piece. Half-finished and ugly, I am now bed-ridden, a hidden pariah waiting for the malformity to even out so I can be seen outside again.

My beautician thinks it will be two to three more days. I'm so tired of suffering.

Needless to say, I fired Ofme. I hate Dekopons now.

[Anonymous No.9957557]

I know I’ve posted this here before. I cut myself when I was really drunk and bled like a pig for like two hours

[Anonymous No.9957612]

>>9955585
Or a spoon.

[Anonymous No.9957653]

>>9955508
when I got a door slammed into my toe it was pulled out and regrew
looked like I had a small dick on my foot
And I think theres also the possibility to glue it, but thats just fucking retarded

[Anonymous No.9957842]

[Anonymous No.9957847]

[Anonymous No.9957849]

[Anonymous No.9957877]

>>9957847
>>9957849
NO WOMEN IN COMMERCIAL KITCHENS

[Anonymous No.9957967]

Despite years of drunk cooking I've never had a real bad one. Worst I can think of is trying to one handedly move a skillet with nearly smoking hot oil and a few steak from the burner to the oven and oil falling on my bare foot. Had some real nasty blisters and was working retail around Xmas at the time so on my feet 12+ hours a day. That was awful. I've done the catching dropped knives countless times when drunk countless times but somehow always avoided injury. Felt like a real dumbass every time though.

[Anonymous No.9957972]

>>9957653
I'll put a small dick on your foot, bb.

[Anonymous No.9957996]

>>9950132
>beyondinfinity.jpg

[Anonymous No.9958005]

>>9957842
>>9957847
>>9957849

how do you safely transport a big pot of boiling water? Why do you even have to?

[chop No.9958037]

>>9950132
>>9957996
You've got a friend in me

[Anonymous No.9958044]

>>9957557
>Taaka
A professional drunk I see.

[Anonymous No.9958056]

>>9957842
>>9957847
>>9957849
My tennis partner in college had a coworker do this to his leg. He lost all the skin, I lost a season of tennis.

[Anonymous No.9958076]

Was grilling for a work luncheon with a shitty pit that my boss bought. Didn't check anything, just started the fire and closed the lid. Came back to check the fire, opened the lid and woosh. Took a while for my eyebrows to grow back and felt sunburnt on my face for a couple days. Bottom vent was completely closed off.

[Anonymous No.9958098]

>>9949481

[Anonymous No.9958133]

>>9947747
I got you beat.

[Anonymous No.9958168]

>>9958044
I’ve come a long way in career drunkenness since those days

[Anonymous No.9958194]

>>9955830
I think it was more than a split second with that injury.
I did the same since we had brand new oil in the fryer making it hard to see where the oil level was, and the ones who filled it up over filled it to the MAX line, so when I went to go grab some tendies for some kid I ended up having four of my fingers dip into the oil to the second knuckle.
Maybe it's because I immediately washed it with water due to having a sink like, two steps away, but I didn't get burns like that.

[Anonymous No.9958206]

Stepped on a grill
My left foot looked and smelled delicious

[Anonymous No.9958207]

>Grab something from the salamander
>Go worker behind me bumps into me causing my forearm to hit the scalding-hot metal rack
>End up having a huge blister the size of a quarter just below the wrist on my forearm.

[Anonymous No.9958230]

>>9958168
I hope I get a Costco before the cirrhosis gets me.

[Anonymous No.9958251]

>>9958206
How the fuck do you step on a grill?

[Anonymous No.9958263]

>>9949481
Aww little baby need his safe space. Triggered..? Go back to Tumblr little girl.

[chop No.9958264]

I tried flipping a pancake in the air and had it land on my bare stomach once. Not a serious injury but I sure felt stupid.
Apart from that it's just been a few cuts and burns same as everybody else.

[Anonymous No.9958307]

>>9947961
Fuck, I handle a knife just fine but every time I open a can I feel like I’m deactivating a bomb. Haven’t cut my hand doing it yet but the thought triggers me hard.

[Anonymous No.9958308]

>>9957549
>ofme
kek

[Anonymous No.9958321]

>>9958251
She was sleeping on the floor.

[Anonymous No.9958337]

>>9949210
>contact lens melting into your eye

jesus christ

[Anonymous No.9958454]

>>9950132
black_hole_exploration.jpg

[Anonymous No.9958463]

>>9958207
Ooh I got one like this
>busy service, hot apps guy in the weeds
>anon, go help out hot apps, I need three ducks to sell
>hot apps guy’s station is trashed, ask him where the ducks are, I’ll plate the ducks, you keep firing brochettes
>he points to a sizzle pan in the salamander
>reach up to pull duck breasts down out of salamander, he didn’t drain off the fat before trying to render them in the broiler
>smoking hot duck fat sloshes out of the pan, I jump to the side just in time, he catches the full brunt of it on his forearm
>immediately blooms massive purple and grey blisters
>his face

[Anonymous No.9958499]

>>9949210
Your manager, the eye doctor. LMAO

[Anonymous No.9958564]

>>9949001
>not caring about your health is part of masculinity
please reconsider your entire life

[Anonymous No.9958578]

>>9958564
not overreacting to injuries is a masculine trait. pain passes quick and things often look worse than they are, especially if you are a pussy. cooler heads prevail and all that.

[Anonymous No.9958631]

>>9950283
a legitimately cool story, bro

[Anonymous No.9958665]

>>9954698
>. I somehow just keep doing it, atleast 5 times a year.

[Anonymous No.9958691]

>>9949001

How much of a Royal Cunt can you be?

[Anonymous No.9958729]

>>9958564
>responding to a very obvious joke from 14 hours ago

[Anonymous No.9958782]

>>9949481
jump back in your cunt-wagon and go back to soccer practice.

[Anonymous No.9958970]

>>9954698
if it would've been second degree you'd have blacked out from the pain and went to the hospital you medically-retarded fag

[Anonymous No.9958988]

>>9958970
>calling someone else medically retarded
>while being medically retarded

[Anonymous No.9959011]

>>9949481

[Anonymous No.9959080]

>>9958970
It was definitely 2nd. I had a large blister form almost immediately and when I cut it open there was lots of fleshy pink new skin. And it definitely wasnt a 1st degree because Ive had multiple dozens of those throughout my life. So if it wasnt 1st it had to be 2nd unless you want to get retarded and say it was some bullshit like a 1.5 degree burn.

[Anonymous No.9959091]

>>9958970
Plenty of people stay awake with horrific pain and injuries, adrenaline is one helluva drug.

T. Stayed awake during trip to the hospital with a broken femur poking out of my leg

[Anonymous No.9959129]

>>9959011
fucking kek

[Anonymous No.9959852]

I ended up staying in a motel for all of December one year because my apartment needed to be renovated after the fat fucks upstairs caved through the ceiling. Had my worst cooking accident ever on New Year's Eve as a result. Nothing else in the area was open and I didn't feel like going to Waffle House for the umpteenth fucking time, so I decided I was going to cook pasta in a microwave. After nuking it long enough that it was edible, the bowl was way too hot to touch. But of course, I'm an impatient idiot, and I don't want to wait for it to cool off. I also don't have any kind of oven mitts in the motel room, almost all of my kitchen shit was off in storage; so I come up with the brilliant idea to put on regular old winter gloves and take the pasta out that way. A bit of boiling hot water splashes over the side of the bowl, soaks into the glove immediately, and I got to watch the ball drop from a nice hospital bed with excruciatingly painful second degree burns across three of my fingers and half of the back of my hand.

[Anonymous No.9959977]

>>9954094
serves you right, roastie

[Anonymous No.9959988]

>>9959129
I prefer the bioshock version.

[Anonymous No.9959996]

>>9959988
>no ring

[Anonymous No.9960014]

>>9950283
>in of itself
idiocracy is a prediction: the proof

[Anonymous No.9960047]

>>9955830
jesus christ I am so happy my fingernails don't look like that.
t. hand model

[Anonymous No.9960051]

>>9956479
I lost a finger in your mom but to be honest, the wa it smelled, I wouldn't want it back.

[Anonymous No.9960065]

>>9957847
that is the most condescending inaudible bitch I have ever seen.

[Anonymous No.9960103]

>>9954094
Time for you to fuck off, cuck, or show us your tits bitch

[Anonymous No.9960121]

A girl I was working with dropped a big, open can full of pineapples and sliced her leg open down to the bone. Had to call in the store manager to help me close and he was just mad he had to come in on his day off.

[Anonymous No.9960148]

>>9956782
plz giv self harming, kitchen-illiterate gf pls

[Anonymous No.9960253]

>>9947733
I don't understand. How can this happen?

[Anonymous No.9960315]

>>9952574
not good I'm sorry

[Anonymous No.9960429]

>>9948096
"Hah, I caught it" would've been great last words.

[Anonymous No.9960467]

>>9958005
Wear non-slick shoes first off.
Non-slick mats are suppose to be under all of those tables.
Spills are suppose to be cleaned immediately, even if it's just water.

Why? Well, the only reason you should I can think of is stupidity.

Usually, when this stuff happens it's always a soup or sauce of some kind and they can be worse due to the sugar that could be used in them.

I've actually got a decent sized scar on my inner right for arm from where I was moving a tray of Sweet potatoes to a freezer that had been in the warmer all day. The freezer was wet 100% of the time, there was/is no way of it ever being dry. The Non-slick mat hadn't been cleaned in ages and When I stepped from the concrete floor to the freezer floor it just gave way and stuck to my arm. Basically like how'd you imagine caramelized sugar would.

Pain like you wouldn't believe and there was no relief from the pain save from cold water directly on the burn. At the time I was young at the time and had no idea of safety violation laws, etc. so I didn't pursue legal action. I'd recommend if any of you get burned working in a kitchen you sue that ass off if it's because the owner is a cheap ass cunt.

On an upside, I have a scar tattoo that looks like a star trek insignia on my for arm.

[Anonymous No.9960475]

I feel like a lot of right handed cooks have a slanted left index finger tip. You do it once then learn how to cut properly

[Anonymous No.9960608]

>>9958098
What the fuck? Tag your gore shitlord

[Anonymous No.9960669]

>>9958168
I live in Virginia this fucking sucks. Is it closer to greygoose or aristocrat?

[Anonymous No.9960789]

>>9955471
Fucking gringos I swear
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2017/may/10/avocado-hand-why-the-fruit-has-become-a-health-hazard

[Anonymous No.9961348]

>>9947733
I have sliced my finger with a knife before, but I think the worst was when I was making steak wasted last night and burnt my tongue really badly trying to lick the spoon I was basting it with.

[Anonymous No.9961480]

First time cutting onions.

I'm lucky I just nicked myself. I also a huge bitch.

[Anonymous No.9961497]

>>9947975
>Recipe calls for starting out in skillet, then transferring skillet to oven.
>skillet in 500 degree oven and is very hot
>grab pan handle with wet towel i used to dry my hands
>water in towel turns to steam
>burns my hand and end up with 2nd degree burns

felt bad man

[Anonymous No.9961598]

>>9947733
funny you post this, i cut my finger just yesterday cutting open an avocado
i think i was holding the avocado from the wrong end, like the gentleman in your pic
now i'm kinda scared to cut avocados

[Anonymous No.9961666]

>>9947733
Would it be better to remove the handle and make the blade go through all the way?

[Anonymous No.9961692]

I was cleaning the fryers the other night at work, and slipped with the brush I was using. Splashed 350 degree oil onto my face/neck.
Reflexes kicked in, got the oil off in less than a second, got some ice on it and kept working. Got away with just a blister beneath my lip and some marks on my neck.

[Anonymous No.9961708]

>>9947787
This made my groin hurt and my asshole pucker. Something about knife wounds gets to me.

[Anonymous No.9961718]

>>9961480

>first time cutting onions

[Anonymous No.9961749]

>>9949001
who are you my mother?
seriously, my mom once told me to tough it out and go to school one day when I was not feeling well. Ended up literally having leukemia.

[Anonymous No.9961803]

>>9957847
my ass was puckered waiting for a degloving to happen

[Anonymous No.9961862]

>decide to cook some blin because slav pancakes sound good
>shirtless because fuck getting dressed
>pan, hot. Oil, hot.
>flip blin
>oil, hot. Skin, crispy.
>burn the shit out of my right hip right above the waist
Blin was good though

[Anonymous No.9961884]

>>9947961
I take it you use can openers now

[Anonymous No.9961895]

>>9957026
Most people reserve the term heel for the very back portion of the knife edge, which may or may not be the only or flattest part of the edge. Many knives have a very flat cutting edge through most of the blade. On the more curved edges, the majority of the cutting edge between the heel and tip is often referred to as the belly. Some also refer to that portion of flat edges as a belly. Due to fuzzy definition and autism, it is sometimes preferable to use a more encompassing term which is correct, yet not quite so specific, to avoid misunderstanding or gnuterm interjections.

[Anonymous No.9961896]

>>9948096
>so I told him to catch the knife
>and he actually did it

[Anonymous No.9961921]

>>9949697
Well typical what happens is they hit the pit which slides the blade around it to the hand.

[Anonymous No.9961946]

>>9961666
not a medfag but that seems to be the most practical. directly pulling out could obviously be more damaging to tendons,muscles,etc

[Anonymous No.9961966]

>>9955585
so the knife "slipped" off the seed with enough force to ram right through the guy's hand up to the fucking handle, but leaving the avocado completely undisturbed...

for fuck's sake: The spasms and reaction would have sent that avocado flying into mush.
also, any first responder would have removed the food to get a look at the wound. and even if they didnt, why did the douchbag change out of his clothes and into a pristine gown with a fucking avocado stabbed through his hand?

I'm just shocked at how folks look at the most obvious fake shit and accept it no questions asked

[Anonymous No.9961997]

>>9961966
You're a fucking idiot. Case closed.

[Anonymous No.9962354]

>>9956624
Hey, those butter knives will get you. I cut myself on a butter knife because I was really confused as to why it wasn't serrated. Who the fuck uses sharp butter knives, anyway?

It was a very nice knife, though. It was golden.

[Anonymous No.9962522]

Not the worst, but it made a good video

[Anonymous No.9962524]

>>9947733
That looks painful.

[Anonymous No.9962528]

>>9947765
Magnetic racks are a shitty meme.

[Anonymous No.9962529]

>>9949481
The op maybe but the rest is fairly minor knife cuts. Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.9962536]

>>9947773
Huh?

[Anonymous No.9962547]

>>9948096
>hah, I caught it
Metal

[Anonymous No.9962550]

>>9947733
when i was 4 i wanted to help my parents so when they where outside and heard the microwave i grabbed a chair and tried to remove the bowl from it. a small drip of bowling water dripped on my arm when i removed it (with stretched arms above me) and i dropped the whole bowl of cooking water over my arm. i fell and screamed and the next thing i remember is being in an ambulance.

[Anonymous No.9962557]

>>9950132
Is that a can opener?

[Anonymous No.9962565]

>>9952378
Well that's a unique story.

[Anonymous No.9962827]

>>9949046
like >>9949001
?

[Anonymous No.9962830]

>>9949056
oy vey

[Anonymous No.9962844]

cutting spring onions with a cleaver and went too fast

>inb4 burrr why u using a cleevar
it was the sharpest and cleanest knife at the time. i now have more knives and a memey 3 stage sharpener

[Anonymous No.9962856]

>>9948154
>not separating the knives and washing them last
It's your own fault.

[Anonymous No.9962868]

>>9959996
first thing I looked for as well

[Anonymous No.9962885]

At college I had a part time job working at a deli counter until one day I got caught putting my penis into the meat slicer.

We both lost our jobs.

[Anonymous No.9963052]

>>9953229
How bad did that hurt?

[Anonymous No.9963070]

>>9960669
>aristocrat

I feel sick just hearing that name. It should not be consumed ever ever ever*10^1337.

[Anonymous No.9963095]

>>9947961
How fucking poor do you have to be to not own a goddamn can opener? Fuck.

[Anonymous No.9963534]

Day after a mandoline cut.

[Anonymous No.9963567]

>>9963095
Not him, but at uni I refused to buy a can opener since my hunting knife worked perfectly well for the job. I needed every penny for weed and beer, so there was that too.

[Anonymous No.9963579]

>>9963534
GOOD LORT

[Anonymous No.9963586]

>>9963534
mandolines are cursed objects that want your blood

[Anonymous No.9963599]

>>9963534
>>9963586
Are you me?
>Safety breaks and I lose the same part of my thumb, more on top though.
The worst part was the hospital trying to clean and then sanitize the wound, re-opening it.

I was told I was lucky if it grew back.

[Anonymous No.9963605]

>>9947957
Is this cannibalism?

[Anonymous No.9963608]

[Anonymous No.9963618]

>>9963608
time for some greek wrasslin
This image makes me cry inside

[Anonymous No.9963621]

>>9954068
What were you doing with a can of corned beef at school?

[Anonymous No.9963628]

>>9961480
This looks like a movie poster or book cover about an arty Japanese geisha tragedy.

[Anonymous No.9963655]

>>9961480
Kino.

[Anonymous No.9963657]

>>9963599
Well, if you mess up with a mandoline, the tips of the fingers are the first to go.
The main problem was that it couldn't be stiched up, since it wasn't so much a cut as it was a chunk of thumb taken off. All the nurse could do was wrap it up in several layers of gauze, which made it clumsy and awkward to use.

[Anonymous No.9963658]

>>9963608
I almost feel bad for the poor fuck who had to clean that up. Almost.

[Anonymous No.9964385]

>>9961480
A e s t h e t i c s

[Anonymous No.9964617]

>>9963534
ohh dang

[Anonymous No.9965626]

>>9961480
>Triumphant genre bending /ck/ romance/murder novel Weeb Noire featuring the return of your favorite high test detective White Onion coming to bookshelves near you!

[Anonymous No.9965657]

>>9947787
I SNIFF A NIGGER HAND!

[Anonymous No.9966946]

>>9957612
A SPOON?

[Anonymous No.9967001]

>>9947733
for real tho who goes to the fuckin emergency room, you already did the painful part just fuckin pull it out and leave the poor doctors alone

[Anonymous No.9967047]

>>9967001
>he doesn't know

[Anonymous No.9967092]

>>9963608
good thing they put that wet floor sign there

[Anonymous No.9967096]

>>9947733
Fucking millennials don't know how to remove the avocado seed properly.
A Mexican would never be this stupid. What the fuck? I can't even imagine how she thought that was gonna end? Was she trying to pierce the aguacate? Why?

[Anonymous No.9967125]

>>9948090
I feel you man helicopter owners are the worst I swear.
Just let me do my fucking job ya cunt.
Half of the time the owner doesn't even know jack shit about a kitchen but still likes to "supervise".
Fucking go supervise a culinary academy first before you start suggesting what sauce I should make for the chicken dish you twat.

[Anonymous No.9967147]

>>9963608
>Like a thousand dollars worth of olive oil ruined.
Somebody is getting fired.
Maybe the retarded stock manager who thought that flimsy ass shelving could handle that amount of liquid weight.
But probably will be the poor sap he told to do it, because supermarket managers are usually cunts who will try to pawn the blame off on someone else.

[Anonymous No.9967199]

>>9950283
>when I transitioned from iphone to android

brave, inspiring stuff

[Anonymous No.9967200]

>>9955626
no it doesn't?????

[Anonymous No.9967262]

>>9962522
got a longer vid without the reversing? this excites me

[Anonymous No.9967266]

>>9962557
buzz lightyear toy

[Anonymous No.9967428]

>>9948090
>tfw I work at a shitty mom and pop Chinese restaurant and I wear whatever the fuck I want there

Sure is a breeze in the summer time wearing shorts there, faggot.

[Anonymous No.9967458]

>>9947733
>washing dishes at a VFW when I'm 16
>get paid under the table and get to claim it for community service
>there's a little spill of water in the kitchen from something or other
>soak it up with some towels, floor is still a little wet
>men's aux president demands I mop the floor immediately because someone will slip
>ok fine dude
>mop the floor
>now instead of a little wet, the entire kitchen floor is wet
>post commander promptly walks by and falls flat on his back
He said it was okay, nothing came of it, but god damn I felt bad for the rest of the day. Fuck you Mike, fucking cunt.

[Anonymous No.9967463]

I think the worst I've managed are small, shallow cuts with a knife.
Between cooking and my hobby that involves the use of a sharp knife my index fingers look like chopping boards.

[Anonymous No.9967600]

also any meat grinder accident.

[Anonymous No.9967724]

>>9963608
there's something poetic about that almost looking like balsamic vinegar floating in the olive oil

[Anonymous No.9967805]

>>9963586
>tfw your thumb has a big chunk of missing fingerprint

[Anonymous No.9967833]

>>9967600
>curly fries fingers
That just looks silly.

[Anonymous No.9968308]

>>9955830
A healthy green hue, I see.

[Anonymous No.9969096]

tfw never injured myself in a kitchen badly that I needed to leave

>cleaning stainless steel dish shelves
>steel wool
>buddy is in dish
>buddy cuts himself on steel wool
>"Fuck, I probably got all kinds of aids now"
>laugh it off
>Continue to clean
>move too fast, slice finger open on the edge of the shelf
>laugh

good time

[Anonymous No.9969179]

>>9947733
>took the top off a can on the cut sides
>cut my thumb and middle finger
I was fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.9969244]

>>9947733
>Cooking for 8 years
>Cant remember the last time I cut myself

[Anonymous No.9970170]

>>9960475
For me, it's the thumb, nobody taught me how to cut

[Anonymous No.9970325]

>>9965657
Naw it was one of my employees. He's an amigo

[Anonymous No.9970944]

>>9952378
I had something close. Went to see my gran and made a cuppa for us both. Wondered my tea tasted off, and lips went numb. Ask her why oh she was cleaning my cup with bleach and didnt get rid of the bit at the bottem.

[Anonymous No.9970950]

>boiling green lentil penne
>time to drain
>water splashes through strainer
>boiling water touches my cock
>soaks pants
>mfw

[Anonymous No.9970970]

>>9955626
I'm gonna guess you saw that pseudo documentary that Chlorox produced. It takes a LOT of water and time for bleach to degrade to normal "salt". Bleach sanitizer solution used in restaurants is 10 parts per million, and you are supposed to wash that off thoroughly.

[Anonymous No.9971238]

>>9967600
horrifying

[Anonymous No.9971255]

>>9947733
Bought some spices for mom (including MSG)
Turns out she poured like 1/4th of the little shaker into what she was cooking and it turned out horrendous because she thought you were supposed to use it like salt

[Anonymous No.9971267]

>>9957557
>cut
looks like a fingernail came off...

[Anonymous No.9971297]

[Anonymous No.9971302]

>>9947753
Its a guy, his name is Rory Macdondald

>>9956832
Thats his elbow, dumbass

[Anonymous No.9971383]

>>9965626
absolute meme kino movie description, i'd pay $22 for a ticket and popcorn

[Anonymous No.9971390]

>>9957849
still would

[Anonymous No.9971406]

>>9967600
That's a nice meatball.

[Anonymous No.9971419]

>>9947733
>Rory Macdondald
Nope. He was wearing a different shirt, and using a different knife.

[Anonymous No.9971424]

>>9955471
Wrong. Strike the "bottom" of the nut, along the flesh, with the heel of your blade, then use the thumb section of your palm of the hand holding the avocado half as a lever, and pry out the nut.
This way is faster and safer than any other method I've found.
>used to work at qdoba, had to make an assload of guac every fucking day
I'd post a picture if I had an avocado

[Anonymous No.9972514]

Guy at Jets Pizza did meth one day and tried killing us all, most of my co workers ended up in jail and I was left to clean up all the blood and mess. They didn't bother telling me he had aids before making me clean up all that shit. As a bonus, I didn't get my last two paychecks because the owner was a horrible business man and now the store is shut down. Here's a screenshot of the aftermath vid.

[Anonymous No.9972530]

>>9971419
How are people this stupid

[Anonymous No.9972537]

>>9971424
As long as the knife sinks into the nut, and you twist, you're good.

[Anonymous No.9972539]

>>9972514
> They didn't bother telling me he had aids before making me clean up all that shit
And you didn't sue the christ out of them because?

[Anonymous No.9972544]

>>9972514
Did you get AIDS?

[Anonymous No.9972553]

>>9972539
>>9972544
I haven't gotten tested yet, I doubt I got it, but I figured I can only sue if I got it. I don't know, I'm only 19, I don't know how all that legal shit works. It happened nearly a month ago.

[Anonymous No.9972642]

>>9961497
sounds like something i'd do thanks for the story lmao

[Anonymous No.9972826]

>>9948090
Your boss sounds like an ass but there's a reason most restaurants don't let you wear shorts in a kitchen even if the temperature is unbearable.

[Anonymous No.9972836]

>>9966946
SPOOOOON!

[Anonymous No.9972870]

>>9963608
I wonder who could be behind this...

[Anonymous No.9972877]

>>9971297
Neato.

[Anonymous No.9972922]

>posting gore on a blue board
enjoy ur b&s faggots

[Anonymous No.9973125]

>>9972870
that's a good fucking post anon.

[Anonymous No.9973195]

>>9947961
FUCK
I legitimately hate the cans that have a tab, like coke cans. What's the point of these? I always end up bending the lid, splattering shit all over the wall when the lid finally snaps off, and I get paranoid about cutting my hand. So now I just use a can opener even on cans that have tabs.

[Anonymous No.9973220]

>>9949646
No injuries here either but
>be student
>sharing 3 bedroom apt at dorm with nigger and sandnigger (Germany YES)
>sandnigger decides 10 pm is a good time to start cooking eggs
>10:15 go take a shower
>wow the flat seems awfully warm
>look into kitchen
>stove going at full power, water boiling like fuck
>oh well, I'm sure he'll take the pot off in a minute
>take my shower
>10:30 head back to bed
>pot is still going, most of the water has evaporated
>shrug, go to bed
>wait for it
>wait for it
>POP POP POP
>look into kitchen
>pot completely dry, eggs assploded all over kitchen
At least I didn't have to clean it up.

>different day
>get home from uni
>what is that burned smell
>oven partially open
>window open
>two shrivelled bread rolls on counter
>literally half as big as normal and seemingly made of solid carbon

The dorm administration regularly puts signs up that people should pay attention to their fucking stoves. Judging by how often these signs go up, this seems to happen quite often.

[Anonymous No.9973269]

>>9957842
does he even lift

[Anonymous No.9973281]

>>9949481
suck your mum, nigger

[Anonymous No.9973290]

>>9973281
how tho

[Anonymous No.9973303]

>>9972553
Learn how HIV is transmitted. Unless you slurped up his blood or cleaned it up with open wounds of your own, you're fine. If there was a serious risk of having caught something, you should have gone to the ER immediately after. Now all you can do is wait a couple more months until test results can be conclusive, then take the test and cross your fingers.

[Anonymous No.9973537]

>>9972870
>I wonder who could be behind this...

I blame the juice

[Anonymous No.9973665]

>>9952574
i would have just left the fudge on there.

im not a doctor but i think the fudge would work similar to as a bandaid, protecting and nourishing the skin while it healed underneath

[Anonymous No.9973892]

>>9952617
Ew

[Anonymous No.9973947]

>>9973220
so both you and your roommates are idiots who deserve each other

[Anonymous No.9973965]

>>9973665
The problem is that the shit is hot and if i stay here it keeps "cooking " the guys hand.

[Anonymous No.9974028]

[Anonymous No.9974378]

>>9974028
They said it wasn't delivery...

[Anonymous No.9974402]

>>9973281
Did you shake hands with fucking Edward Scissorhands?

[Anonymous No.9974407]

>>9974028
Ho ho ho

[Anonymous No.9974522]

>>9967147
That's like every fucker on Earth who cares more about their money than other people. Which is a damn good amount of people in case you didn't know.

[Anonymous No.9974908]

>>9955471
>>9947733

Why the fuck are people using knives to remove the seed?

Just keep a fucking spoon on hand for that.

[Anonymous No.9974930]

>>9963608

Would it be easier to get up if you just dumped a fuckton of cat litter/saw dust on it like people do for vomit?

[Anonymous No.9974995]

>>9958321

[Anonymous No.9975043]

>>9974908
>bin that knife!
>ban cars!

[Anonymous No.9975051]

>>9975043
>lets open soup cans with Uzis.
Come on now mate , you are being silly.

[Anonymous No.9975074]

Opening a soup can with an uzi would be fun, but wasteful. Removing the pit of an avocado with the same knife you just used to cut it open is efficient so long as you aren’t absent minded enough to try to stab it through with a dull blade or inexperienced enough to realize that you shouldn’t be using a dull knife for anything at all.

[Anonymous No.9975397]

[Anonymous No.9975417]

>>9962524
FOR YOU

[Anonymous No.9975527]

I tried to warm up some McDonad's in the microwave, but the molten cheese sprayed my balls.

[Anonymous No.9975663]

>>9958206
Alright Michael scott

[Anonymous No.9975751]

>>9972537
And yet people still injure themselves doing it the """right""" way, because people are fucking dumb. With that other way, you never strike towards your hand and you pry away from your hand as well. It's also faster than the twisting way too.

[Anonymous No.9975771]

reminder to never cut towards yourself

ever

[Anonymous No.9975785]

>>9963608
I peed myself and tried to cover it up, now I'm banned from that store

[Anonymous No.9976249]

>finish grilling up a steak
>bring it in to the house on a platter
>try to lift it onto a cutting board by lifting it with a knife from underneath
>steak slips and knife goes into the side of my hand down to the bone
>spray blood across the kitchen
>go to sink to wash out
>blood flowing down the drain for minutes
>almost black out from blood loss
>wrap it up in gauze and bandages
>go eat my fucking steak
>tasty as fuck

Part of my thumb was numb for several months and I think I partially cut a tendon because it was a long time before I regained full movement

[Anonymous No.9976311]

>>9974930
That's basically the only way you're cleaning that up. Trying to mop that up would be a nightmare.

[Anonymous No.9976372]

>>9947975
You understand third degree burns dont hurt because they burn the nerve endings down to the bone? Also third degree burns usually require amputation because you cant graft muscle onto bone...

[Anonymous No.9976386]

>>9961480
saving this as my wallpaper

[Anonymous No.9976478]

>>9963608
Fucking No Frills.

[Anonymous No.9976481]

Completely hammered buddy of mine almost burned down his barracks room when he threw a Cup-A-Noodles into the microwave for 20 minutes, with no water in it. Hit "ok" and then blacked out on his bed. Luckily his roomate came in at around minute 14

[Anonymous No.9976581]

>Work at an amusement park in an outdoor food stand. Customers can see the entire thing except for the stockrooms.
>First injury sustained there in 9 summers (Worked there in high school > college > grad school) even though I regularly worked 70-80hrs a week
>Cutting french fries on a wall mounted cutter (Pic related)
>Put potato on cutter, pull lever down, get french fries
>Its the only thing we sell so I am going as fast as humanly possible because we are super short staffed and I'm the manager so I need to keep shit moving
>Coworker asks me a dumb question
>Look up to answer
>Body gets out of sync
>Don't move my hand
>Slam middle/index fingers into blade
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>Index finger gets caught between metal edge and the hammer
>Middle finger is forced halfway through the blades
>Pull it off blood everywhere
>Customers start screaming
>Go into back room, get a towel and walk to First Aid. Probably in pure shock because I was muttering nonsense and walked off while someone was trying to get me to sit down
>Hear customers complaining about lost appetite as I walk past
>Half way there feel a bit woozy
>Towel is soaked with blood
>Look at fingers
>GOODNIGHT MY CHILD
>Collapse onto the pavement, bust head open, get concussion
>Wake up, ride the amberlamps, get stitches
>Of the 3 injuries the smashed finger hurts most. Get a hole cut through my nail to drain the blood. Have to sterilize a needle and do this myself at home till the nail dies and falls off
>Still get bitched at for being out 3 days. Have to undergo two separate drug tests to get my Worker's Comp
>Boss treats me like shit and a liability for the rest of the summer
>Index fingernail still gnarled and is regularly ingrown

[Anonymous No.9976674]

>>9971297
>Surgeons HATE this one simple trick! Click to find out more!

[Anonymous No.9978072]

This retarded colombian at work almost died because at closing time he didn't turn off the pizza oven, he just closed the main gas valve.
The next day he opens the valve, fuck around the kitchen and then goes on to light up the oven. We had a motherfucking fireball explosion, the papers in the walls catched on fire and this retard had the fucking face almost inside the oven. kek

[Anonymous No.9978582]

>>9960065