ROOMMATE THREAD.

[Anonymous No.9945718]

>"Don't worry anon, I'm a neat freak!"
>misses obvious spots on dishes
-cooking utensils caked with oil
>baking machines gunked with previous shit
>nasty dishes drives other roommate to not want to cook
>I comment about the shit left on the dishes constantly
>"it's clean anon I washed it"

Roommate thread!

[Anonymous No.9945726]

>>9945718
>be me
>go to college
>have roommate
>I wash everything before and after I use it
>graduate college
>never have roommate again

I’m married with kids now. My wife keeps the place clean.

[Anonymous No.9945732]

>roommate asks me if she should make whipped cream since her bottle is old
>"do what you want"
>she makes whole bowl of this shit
>leaves uncovered in the fridge

She's going to ask me why I'm not eating it.

[Anonymous No.9945743]

>be me
>hungry dizzy
>shit day
>come home to relax
>looking for food I left in fridge
>can't see it
>work myself into delirious rage over the course of like 20 minutes
>see smug looking roommate
>beat the shit out of him
>find out it was behind the milk the whole time
>roommate probably wasn't even looking smug
>no regrets
>want to beat the shit out of him again but that would cause serious problems

[Anonymous No.9945744]

>>9945732
Another tale, I have loads of this shit and these are only /ck/ related.

>rearranges kitchen without any empathy for our stuff
>have to ask her where things are constantly
>she gets defensive every time
>set of containers forever missing

Other roommate and I have discussed evicting her in February.

[Anonymous No.9945759]

>>9945743
cool story. would read again. loved the portion about the unmitigated rage.

[Anonymous No.9945767]

>>9945759
You should read again sometime, bro. Shit is fire.

[Anonymous No.9945768]

>First year of college, have three different roommates. Two are really chill and the third is a fucking monster. First night, he blacks out from jim beam and shits himself. Shit all over the couch, shit all over his own bed and somehow there's even shit on the floor. Second night, he actually manages to lure a midget into our room and gets the midget drunk.
>The midget is stumbling around, puking all over the fucking place
>He decides he wants to fuck the midget.
>Midget, despite being drunk wants no part of it and runs out of the room
>He lets out a roar of just primal rage and gives chase breaking our fucking door in the process, 10 seconds later we hear a thud and some crying.
>He fell down the steps and is now crying

[Anonymous No.9945778]

>>9945768
LOL

shits on the couch shits on the bed even shit on the floor
the next night he snuck a midget in the room and it puked on the FLOOR LOL
colt fourty five and two zig zags and and puke that midget weed so roll roll

[Anonymous No.9945780]

>>9945778
...are you alright?

[Anonymous No.9945783]

>>9945718
>exchange student roommates
>notice i'm running out of condiments too fast
>move salt to my room
>they buy a pack of salt
>move oregano to my room
>they buy some oregano
can't wait for next month when they leave

[Anonymous No.9945787]

>>9945743
are you on test and/or tren, lad?

[Anonymous No.9945788]

>>9945780
No, this unloved shitrag is actually trying to turd bomb this thread into a state of derailment, defensiveness, and ultimately death.

[Anonymous No.9945795]

>>9945744
>set of containers forever missing
or even better:

>somehow they managed to break one of my tupperware containers
>put it back on my shelf broken, never say anything about it

[Anonymous No.9945806]

>>9945718
I did actually live with a neat freak room mate and it was the complete opposite. Used to get irrationally angry about minor mess.

[Anonymous No.9945832]

>Come back from Christmas holiday
>Know a couple of my housemates stayed and made a massive Christmas dinner
>Scratches in my beautiful large stainless steel pan
>Circular, like they stirred it with a metal spoon or something
>They still aren't back

[Anonymous No.9945845]

>>9945832
>scratches in stainless steel pan from metal utensils
i thought this is not supposed to happen

[Anonymous No.9945928]

>>9945845
It doesn't ruin the pan, just looks shit.
Although if you keep doing it everyday stuff sticks better.

If you don't believe me, take some sandpaper to your lovely shiny smooth steel pan and see how things stick afterwards.

[Anonymous No.9945941]

>>9945718
My gf is the fastest dishwasher ever. She does misses spots from time to time but It doesnt matter. Im glad someones cleaning after me going at it pretending Im 5 stars celebrity chef.

[Anonymous No.9945950]

>>9945832
Your fault for leaving it out there for them to use.
Call me a kike but when I was living with two girls couple years back, I literally took the dishes back to my room after im done cooking and cleaning.

[Anonymous No.9945963]

>>9945950
It was buried at the back of my cupboard. Anything extra nice is in my room.

A previous housemate left a large non-stick saucepan the same size so they should've used that. Who knows how much they were cooking at Christmas.

[Anonymous No.9945976]

>>9945718
Am I the only one with good roomate stories?

We buy our own food and don't use others food without asking. We have our own dishes and we clean up after ourselves...

[Anonymous No.9945984]

>>9945806
OP here. My roommate also does this, except she's passive agressive about it.

>find bathroom sink full of blood and mucus
>da fuck
>know it was her because she went in right before I did, other roommate on vacation
>tell her to please clean up next time
>she gets defensive
>tells me that "well we should all clean up"
>I almost fucking lose it
>she tells me her mouth bleeds sometimes
>to this day never owned up to it

[Anonymous No.9946127]

>"can I use your cast iron? it's healthier!!!"
>puts pan in dishwasher

[Anonymous No.9946155]

From last night.

[Anonymous No.9946159]

>Doesn't eat most vegetables other than potatoes, corn or green beans and even then, prefers canned corn and beans.
>Prefers country crock over actual butter because "it tastes more like butter to me"
>Insists on using 20+ year old cheap plastic dishes that are all scratched up, partially melted, misshaped and look like he just pulled them out of a dumpster, "I like them"
>Prefers cool whip over real whipped cream
>Uses a Keurig to make shitty coffee and adds artificial sweetener and powdered non-dairy creamer because "it tastes better"
>Majority of his diet consists of frozen prepared trash food he buys in bulk at costco, fast food and pizza. Wonders why he always has heartburn and other digestive issues.

I'm living with a 44 year old pleb man-child.

[Anonymous No.9946165]

>>9946155
Forgot image

[Anonymous No.9946168]

>graduate hs and go to community college
>decide I hate my major and quit
>go into the workforce
>meet a qt, date and marry her
>buy a fixer upper on a 15 year mortgage with low interest and have no roommates
>live comfy and middle class

It must suck to be a poorfag falling for the "big city experience" or the college meme. But yada yada yada fuck Drumpf and fuck whyt pipo.

[Anonymous No.9946180]

>>9946168
>I'm happy with my life there for everybody who doesn't live life the same way is me is fucking RETARDED
lol you may be successful, but you're still autistic

[Anonymous No.9946184]

>>9946168
>republican can't go one thread without shilling his /pol/-tier views even though they're not relevant to the topic at hand
par for the course for you americlaps, always NEED to signal what politics I BELIEVE IN

[Anonymous No.9946201]

>>9945718

>At university residence
>Skinny girl roommate cooks all the time
>Never actually eats
>Leaves crusted bowls all over the kitchen full of food
>One night we leave it all outside her door
>She spergs out

[Anonymous No.9946204]

>come home from work
>kitchen is fucked beyond relief
bring it up
>swipes everything to the floor
>"we need to mop anyways"

[Anonymous No.9946226]

This subject triggers me. My college roommates were idiot rednecks who chewed tobacco and spit it into Gatorade bottles that they left all over to apartment

[Anonymous No.9946232]

>>9946168
>buying a fixer upper

Looks at this fucking nerd.

>being too much of a poorfag to buy a massive fucking new house with low interest

[Anonymous No.9946235]

>roommate drinks my bottle of vodka
>sorry bro that thought was mine
>he has never bought bottles of vodka, in fact, there's only been one, which was in the freezer
>he buys a new bottle of vodka
>every night when he's not home, I pour two shots of it down the sink

I live with two bros now, it's great.

[Anonymous No.9946247]

>>9946159
Lol that whole list sounds like my dad.

>mom buys new breakfast bowls and plates that are microwavable safe
>dad wants to hold onto shitty old bowls and plates coated in melamine because he finds them more convenient to make food in I guess? But he keeps putting them in the microwave despite us telling him numerous times not too.

I could talk about all the kitchen/food peeves my dad has but this is a roommate thread.

[Anonymous No.9946248]

>keep my kitchen things in a corner of the kitchen, tell roommates not to use any of it
>Come home one day
>$200 carbon steel weeb knife soaking in sink

[Anonymous No.9946250]

>>9945743
>be me
>having a great day
>roommate is getting angry over nothing again
>he sees me and beats me up
>swear to god i'm going to kill this cunt and claim it's self defense

[Anonymous No.9946259]

when im home alone i use only one pan and a plate for a whole month without washing it, i just put it inside the fridge

[Anonymous No.9946267]

>>9945743
Make him your sissy and put cock cage on him

[Anonymous No.9946310]

>>9946247
Pretty much. My room mate also insists on re-using these cheap ass plastic cups he gets from this local BBQ restaurant instead of using regular glasses and cups. They're all faded and warped from being run through the dishwasher for years but damned if he'll use anything else.
One of these days, I'm tempted to just throw away all the shitty plastic dishes and cups he has just to see what his reaction will be. I'm pretty sure he'll flip the fuck out about his precious plastic.

[Anonymous No.9946352]

>>9946201
talk to her instead of pulling stunts like that. she might not know that she's doing something wrong.

[Anonymous No.9946379]

>>9945718
>deal with 2 roommates to keep place clean
>never leave shit outside of your bedroom
>one shit roommate leaves his shit EVERYWHERE
>he's gone for the weekend and apartment is immaculate
>he geta home
>in an HOUR the place is a fucking wreck
>he leaves dirty dishes out
>I have to do dishes if I want to cook otherwise I have no space or utinsels
Pic related. It's 100% the shit roommate's mess

[Anonymous No.9946442]

>>9946248
As an owner of weeb steel this angers me

[Anonymous No.9946456]

>>9945783
Condiments are meant to be shared, anon

[Anonymous No.9946466]

>>9946201

This was like 11 years ago. She also stole food. She knew what she was doing.

[Anonymous No.9946552]

>>9946168
What mental gymnastics did you have to do to somehow equate this thread and your comment? I hate city scum too but wtf?

[Anonymous No.9946595]

>four person apartment, all female
>kitchen is usually neat and clean
>roommate brings her two girlfriends (male) over
>they leave trash all over kitchen, dirty pots on stove, dirty dishes in sink
>leave food untouched in fridge for months
>confront roommate about terrible guests
>"ok anon i'll talk to them about it"
>rinse and repeat

[Anonymous No.9946728]

>>9946310

Peg Leg Porker?

[Anonymous No.9946764]

>>9946379
i have this same problem. what i do is i will leave that stuff untouched for a few days, and then i will throw it all away. even dishes, pots, pans etc. if they ever were to confront you, explain that there is really no other option if the person who uses the stuff wont clean it. at this point i see the one dirty roomate i have is stuck using a large spoon and large glass bowl to eat all his meals. ive thrown away all the otherhold dishes due to him.

[Anonymous No.9946835]

>>9946310
Why do you even care.

[Anonymous No.9946842]

>>9946764
You sure showed him, you dumb faggot.

[Anonymous No.9946851]

>>9946842
i always use my own stuff and keep it in my room, so youre right

[Anonymous No.9946867]

I've got you all beat. I had a roommate who would:
>steal all my food and never go shopping. He would starve until I felt bad for him and live off taco bell and my stolen food.
>I got him a nice job at my office and he would spend all his money on cocaine.
>he would sleep on an air mattress and his only companion was an anime body pillow.
>he would talk about how shadow people were his only friends and he would draw weird symbols in his own blood on the walls.
>getting him to clean up after himself was like pulling teeth.
>he would violently vomit every night leaving residue in the toilet we shared.
>power was in his name and our family electricity was shut off twice.
>always late on rent and paying me back when I had to pay his rent too.
>when I finally left the place completely he used my credit cards that he wrote down to pay rent and for various deliveries and power bill to the tune of 1800 dollars.
>I grew up in a bubble and didn't think scumbags like this existed. Boy did I learn a lot from him. Mike if you are reading this, you're a piece of shit low life. Pic is how he would leave the apartment. This was his "tesla machine" I'll upload a few more.

[Anonymous No.9946869]

>Leaves dirty dishes in sink or "clean" dishes in drying rack, never actually uses their cupboards just leaves them in the rack until they need them
>Leaves food in his Tupperware for so long it molds then throws out Tupperware because his dumb/lazy ass can't just clean it
>Brings home baked goods when he goes home but never eats them. So many moldy breads/sweets
>Asks me really dumb shit like how to hold x knife
>Never cleans until he see's me or fem roommate cleaning, then he feels bad, says he will, and IF he ends up doing it, he does it after a week
>Washes glass jars from food products then does nothing with them. They just sit on the counter until I throw them away.

[Anonymous No.9946873]

>>9946595
>two girlfriends (male)

[Anonymous No.9946884]

>>9946867

[Anonymous No.9946891]

>>9946867
These were after I left and stopped cleaning and went back to get my stuff. Some poor chump on Craigslist took my place.

[Anonymous No.9946894]

>>9946248
>trusting your roommates this much
>not hiding all of your nice stuff in your bedroom
I had to learn this lesson the hard way too.

[Anonymous No.9946900]

>>9946884
>>9946891
goddamn waster. roomates fucking suck.

[Anonymous No.9946910]

>Tesla machine

oh shit my sides anon

[Anonymous No.9946960]

>>9946900
>>9946910
This is the genius who built those fine tesla coils.

[Anonymous No.9946971]

>>9946456
Fuck off, dirty commie. I bought them.

[Anonymous No.9946977]

>>9946310
Is he autistic?

[Anonymous No.9947000]

>>9945726
imagine being normal like this guy

Almost impossible

[Anonymous No.9947019]

>>9946247
Other weird shit my dad does
>mom would buy tangerines or cuties
>dad likes peeling the tangerines in advance, taking them apart and putting them in a bowl in the fridge uncovered
>dad does this because "It's easier" when it's not that fucking hard to peel a tangerine or a cutie in the first place
>it's annoying as fuck because all the fruit gets dried up in the fridge and thus gets thrown out

He does this shit with grapes too. He'll just pull all the grapes off the stem and put them in a bowl in a fridge.

My dad also will reuse an already used keurig cup and thinks the coffee tastes good. But he pours sugar free vanilla creamer on his coffee so he wouldn't tell the difference anyway

He also has fucking spatial issues. God forbid a newspaper is on the table by his designated seat, it takes up space for him to sit and eat. Or if anyone sits in that seat, he'll just awkward stand by the counter behind you instead of sitting in another seat at the table.

Sometimes I wonder if my father has aspergers, but he used to be an FDNY captain so idk

[Anonymous No.9947051]

>>9947019
>Sometimes I wonder if my father has aspergers
he most likely does

[Anonymous No.9947054]

>>9946960
That clothing tells it all. Nobody dresses like that unless they're mentally unstable (narcissistic type)

[Anonymous No.9947071]

>>9945718
>used to rent a room in a house that had 1 other guy
>we would alternate who cooked each night and didn't eat eachother's leftovers without asking
>overall a good time
>last month landlady tells us there's 2 guys moving into the other empty rooms
>one is a stoner who eats my stuff in the fridge whenever he gets high (every day)
>one is a saudi who refuses to clean the any of his dishes or anything in the kitchen and bitches when people make things with pig
I've started keeping my dry stuff (snacks, bread, canned foods) in my room but I can't take some of my stuff with me and it's pissing me off
I need to get a minifridge for my room ASAP but I'm a poorfag

[Anonymous No.9947077]

>>9947071
throw away his shit and deny everything. also having a muslim fundamentalist roomate sucks. you need to move out. both those guys are shit

[Anonymous No.9947083]

>>9947071
What a poor Muslim with a bad misunderstanding of the Quran.

Move.

[Anonymous No.9947093]

>>9947051
Can someone who has aspergers be able to become captain of a fire department and command a team though? I mean he retired back in 2002. He has a lot of health issues, diabetes, has shaky hands, etc.. So I'm wondering if his awkward behavior is due to his aging and health problems. He's very forgetful, doesn't pay attention to you, is in denial that he has hearing problems, yet blasts the television to level 40 volume. Will interrupt you if you're watching a tv show l, but he gets pissed if you do the same to him. I have to keep my door shut or else he will awkwardly stand in your doorway and look over your shoulder.

I could go on, but I don't wanna derail the thread

[Anonymous No.9947100]

>indian roommate
>rinses dishes with cold water and smudges them with his bare hand
>doesn't wash hands after going to the toilet
>steals utencils and food
>sing songs in his cancer language at 4 AM
>german roommate
>doesn't wash dishes period, just lets them stack in the sink
>clogs every drain possible, only god knows how
>doesn't clean stove after messy cooking, nor the toilet after messy shitting

Uni sucks.

[Anonymous No.9947103]

>>9947054
He was extremely narcissistic.
To the point where he was a compulsive liar, he would lie about everything that would make him seem higher class, like the job i got him, he lied that he started at more money than me when in reality he made 2.25 less. I would catch him in so many lies and he would just shrug them off like he didn't just lie to my face. Pretty interesting when you think about how someone seemingly normal can go that far off the deep end.

[Anonymous No.9947114]

>>9947100
at least he poo's in the loo

[Anonymous No.9947116]

>>9947071
>>9947077
>get muslim roommate from Syria
>long blond haired, blue eyed guitarrist
>cleans everything
>is never loud
>cooks and shares food
>eats pork
>doesn't complain about cultural differences even if he doesn't agree with them

One in a million type of guy for sure.

[Anonymous No.9947128]

>>9947114
I unironically think he cleans his ass with his hands though. And he showers once a week if I'm lucky.

[Anonymous No.9947132]

>>9947077
>you need to move out
>>9947083
>Move
God, I wish. My rent is unbelievably cheap though and I can walk to work from it. I can deal with a few shitty roommates.

[Anonymous No.9947149]

>>9946867
Fascinating. Tell me more!

[Anonymous No.9947161]

>>9947093

He sounds like he’s sperging anon.

[Anonymous No.9947191]

>tfw has great roommates when I shared an apartment in college
>had loads of fun with house parties, playing street fighter with all of our friends, and taking cabs downtown to get hammered in bars and them leaving without me because I’m the only one getting laid but they always were cool with only splitting cab fare on just the way downtown
>always clean
>always pleasant
>only problem was one of them work up early as fuck when me and the other roommate would work nights/late evenings, and his alarm was his computer blasting the kill la kill theme song, so we had an intervention about it and he was cool about it

If it makes any difference, we lived in America, I’m a bong, one roommate was Dutch, and the weeb one was a giant black guy.

[Anonymous No.9947196]

>>9947116
Syrians aren't inbred. Dog bless Bashar Al-Assad

[Anonymous No.9947197]

>>9947149
Let me see.
>He would stay in his room secluded from the world and only come out to work and eat.
>He once had a girl stay over for a few days and she was a desperate slam pig who I felt so bad for. She came all the way to south florida from Rochester and only to stay on an air mattress for a few days. I think he took her one morning to the beach.
>he thought smoking cigarttes was healthy and you only get cancer if you believe you are going to get it.
>he tried to make his body alkaline by drinking high pH water but then his diet would be fasting followed by one meal of 2 box meals from taco bell.
>after he would eat so much he would usually vomit like a dog who can't stop himself from eating.
>he was heavy into meditation and thought he was going to ascend to another world and constantly talking about altering his vibrations.
>he would wear a ratty sports coat to woke everyday and would never wash his clothes. He's wear the same thing to work everyday. His sports coat had hole in the elbows and he would still wear it.
>never brushed his teeth ever, he thought it was a conspiracy and had nasty brown gunk in his gums.
>he would bathe like once a week. I dont know he didnt give off offensive odors.

[Anonymous No.9947198]

>2 roommates
>I'm the only one with real day job
>Make myself breakfast every morning.
>Wash dishes before I even sit down to eat
>Get home from work
>All dishes are dirty
>eat out for dinner every night
>"lol anon can't cook" because they've never seen me dirty a dish
>Get al/ck/ drunk one night and piss all over the counter
>refuse to clean it up because they never clean the kitchen so why should I

And they call me the asshole. Moved out onto my own and leave them with the filth, the cockroaches, the rats, and the mold. Fuck that fucking shit never again

[Anonymous No.9947204]

>>9947198
top lad. fuck them

[Anonymous No.9947213]

I saw this thread and IMMEDIATELY went into rage mode thinking about all the disgusting roomies I have had. After posting my greentext I realize just how long this thread is of people venting. 90% of people literally don't mind living in filth and it saddens me. The eco-friendly meme as an excuse to not throw trash away or have paper towels is the most retarded.

[Anonymous No.9947303]

>not just living with your parents
Fuck roommates desu.

[Anonymous No.9947309]

>>9947303
this desu. Westerners have been convinced that having strong familial bonds is a bad thing

[Anonymous No.9947315]

>>9946960
That's exactly what I thought he would look like.

[Anonymous No.9947337]

>>9946867
ha ha lol he reminds me of a friend of mine. He was making tesla shit too

[Anonymous No.9947345]

not food related by my landlord shot one of my roommates
good stuff

[Anonymous No.9947363]

>>9947345
wat

you must tell now

[Anonymous No.9947418]

>Rommates bitched because I left dirty dishes for cooking late at night due to my job
>Tell them that I usually have to rewash the dishes because they're never really clean and always feel greasy
>None of them answers because both of them suck at the most menial thing ever
>Get all passive aggressive

Good thing I left that shithole.

[Anonymous No.9947497]

>>9947303
>living with parents

They're just as annoying.
See exhibit A
>>9946247
>>9947019
>>9947093

[Anonymous No.9947512]

>>9946168
>He's so insecure about supporting Trump, that people being in college is enough to trigger him into defending Trump
Jesus that's sad

[Anonymous No.9947513]

>>9946867
10/10

[Anonymous No.9947538]

>all these roommate horror stories
>it all comes down to people being shitty annoying people
How do you tell someone that their whole entire being or personality is annoying, especially when they think there is nothing wrong with their behavior?

[Anonymous No.9947611]

>>9947363
roommate basically sued landlord because we paid too much rent
landlord is gypsy, yelled DON'T TOUCH MY WIFE, CHILDREN OR MONEY
few days later roommate was shot through his window at night

don't even live in the ghetto either

[Anonymous No.9947628]

>>9945726
this except I also have "tfw no gf"

[Anonymous No.9947750]

>>9947611
Fucking gypsies lmao, did he sue for getting shot too?

[Anonymous No.9947774]

>>9947750
yes but that'll take months and since no one saw it happen and it was dark, it'll be hard to prove too

[Anonymous No.9947858]

>>9945726
>married with kids
hello mohammed

[Anonymous No.9947952]

>>9945976
sounds like it.

[Anonymous No.9947963]

>>9947538
youd be busy doing that for the rest of your life. just try and spend as little time as possible with them

[Anonymous No.9947989]

>be 26 yr old
>fresh out of 2 yrs in prison
>rent a room with 2 others
>Rich, nice guy, mid forties, runs, cooks, restores bikes
>best friends.mov
>ride 50+ miles each Saturday morning together
>run together M W F Sun
>Drink cheap vodka until we black out every friday
>Teaches me about cooking
>Learns me on dried beans, lentils, making stock and broth, finally love fresh vegetables
>Gives me a totally new outlook on life
>Still running and cycling
>Eating healthy
>Rich moved out years ago and I moved on

Rich if you're reading this, I hope you're happy with your wife. I just want you to know I miss you and you were such a strong force of good in my life. Love ya man.

I really miss him.

[Anonymous No.9948049]

>>9947989
I love a good story of people turning their lives around. I was a doomed alcoholic and I have turned my life around too. God bless.

[Anonymous No.9948301]

>be me
>work in restaurant
>roommate doesn't cook
>expects me to cook after doing just that all day

[Anonymous No.9948374]

>>9948301
Tell him to pay you shekels

[Anonymous No.9948524]

I don't really have any horror stories. I was sharing house with another teacher (in australia, teachers can live together in the country side). It was alright until he would bring his girlfriend over and they would fuck in his room because together they probably weighed over 220kg (~500lb) and they had the bed against the wall to my room, so you could hear him them slamming each other with 500lb+ of force.

Aside from that, the guy never really cooked when I was there and he had more food in the fridge than I did. The only things he cooked are: cookies, a chocolate cake, two chicken breasts, and a bean salad. Out of a total of 8 weeks with living him.

[Anonymous No.9948757]

>>9947100
Fuck Indian housemates. I had the same shit
>in a small 4 bedroom sharehouse in college
>sharing with 2 good close friends, was good times
>master bedroom is unused for a year
>someone finally moves in
>Indian married couple
>apparently only he's going to University
>she just sits in the bedroom and waits until he tells her to do something, she isn't allowed to talk to anyone or do anything
>they apparently never wear shoes or clean their feet
>after 2 weeks the kitchen floor is covered in black sticky tar because of it
>upstairs bathroom is covered with the same shit, plus body hair
>it's like fucking Harambe shaves his whole body daily in there
>he never does fucking anything except walk around in his underpants nearly 24/7 and complain
>he wasnt even capable of making coffee or chai without waking her up at 4 in the morning and making her do it for him
>3 meals a day he expected huge, freshly cooked, hot meals
>Would invite 6 or 8 of his Indian friends over all the time without asking and talk at 300% volume until 3am on weeknights
>other poo in loo shenanigans
>us other 3 housemates all leave at the same time and go our own ways
At least they did the dishes though, and never stole any food so it could've been worse.

[Anonymous No.9948809]

>>9945718
>sharing dishes
What kind of faggots do this?

[Anonymous No.9948876]

Anyone else lived in a resort/ski town for a season? Usually great roommate stories there.

>doing a season in a ski town
>job has to evict us from staff accom
>only place we (me and like 3 coworkers) could get was 90min away by bus, changing busses twice
>nearest store is a 1h return trip
>landlady wants 10 people to share the 3 bedrooms
>rent is $850/month each plus utilities
>we had no choice but to take it cuz it's a ski town
>one of my roommates (in our room) is a light sleeper
>like he'll wake if you drop a hairpin in the other room
>he didnt tell us this until we'd moved in
>other 3 people in our room (me included) snore really loudly
>dude doesn't get any sleep, so starts sleeping in his car at work instead
>other room is 2 nice (white) guys from Zimbabwe
>they're bros, cook really well, clean up well
>last room is 4 party-hard dudebro chad 19year olds
>they go clubbing 6 nights a week, do endless cocaine and ketamine, drink constantly and wonder why they're still broke when they work 2 jobs
>none of the 4 guys from that room clean anything
>dishes always piled up
>garbage never properly bagged up
>garbage cant be put outside because of bears, so we have to leave the bags piled up next to the front door and leave the door unlocked for the garbage guy to take
>wet clothes sitting in the washing machine for days at a time
>half peeled veges still left on the counter for a few days because they "forgot"
>no-one has a 9-5 in a ski town, everyone's on shift work so every night of the week SOMEONE is getting fucked up
>loud music nearly all the time
>usually 2-4 strangers sleeping on our couches most nights a week
>house parties in our living room at least twice a week
>10 people wanting to use the kitchen or bathroom at the same time, all the time
>dudes taking 45min showers when 9 other people need to take a shit (for some reason the toilet is in the bathroom in North America, so if someone's in the shower you cant take a shit)
It was crazy but a lot of fun.

[Anonymous No.9948998]

I’m currently sharing a house with this morbidly obese hoarder

>She buys a shit load of food to the point where I have no fridge/cabinet space for my own food
>Never eats it and just gets fucking takeout every night

>Orders Ubereats McDonald’s even though it’s a ten minute walk from our house

>Never does dishes but spurgs out if I leave a dirty plate in the sink

>Never cleans and never thanks me for cleaning

>Told me she’s “dieting” and then ordered two 2Ls of Coke

But the one that really, really got me:

>Anon is very drunk one night and eats some of her frozen pasta because I poor and couldn’t buy groceries that week
>Next morning she pounds on my door demanding I pay her back
>I say sorry, won’t happen again, her’s some money
>She buys another pack of pasta
>3 month’s later it’s still in our fucking freezer
>She speaks to me whenever I’m cooking and stares at what I’m doing like I’m a fucking gluttonous fiend

I’m going to kill her in her sleep one night

[Anonymous No.9949037]

>dishes start disappearing
>find them in flatmate's room, half-full with half-eaten dinners so far gone that they're unrecogniseable
>several glasses all a quarter full or so of milk coffee so old, it's become a solid chunk of brown
>get the fuck out and take my shit with me, no warning
>landlady lets me out of the lease on the condition i rent another of her properties
>do so
>get black friend to be roommate
>as we're moving in, police bust into the house and point guns at him
>neighbours called the police saying niggers were robbing the joint
>even though we're clearly moving shit it, not moving shit out
>and this particular black dude make carlton from fresh prince look threatening
>tell landlady
>says she can't rent to us now because he's black and the neighbours 'know where she lives and will burn her house down'
>black friend's mother is a civil rights attorney
It did not end well for that landlady.
Never did find out what living with a 'groid from an educated family would be like. He decided to just buy a small house and I moved in with my shawty instead.

[Anonymous No.9949062]

I was the shittier roommate tbqhwyf

[Anonymous No.9949070]

>>9948876

>2 white guys from Zimbabwe

still sounds like fucking fun though

[Anonymous No.9949081]

>>9947303
>>9947309
Honestly, this. Every single roommate of mine was beyond awful and didn't clean their mess. Westerners should just live with families unless they're also shit

[Anonymous No.9949090]

I'm no delight to live with, but I cook, keep communal spaces clean/keep mess to my room only, pay rent and bills on time and don't have parties. The reason I'd say I'm difficult to live with is because I hate when my shit gets used and doesn't go back in its place. And this seems to be what happens with literally every person I ever live with except the chick from Thailand and the professional softball player (no idea that there's professional softball, but there you go; the call it "fastpitch," though) who is, and this probably goes without saying, an Ellen-worshiping lesbian.
The lesbian and I sort of witnessed a murder/suicide together while playing Edward 40-hands one night.
Fun times.

[Anonymous No.9949132]

>>9949090

I can relate to that, I'd honestly give my last shirt to someone if I saw he/she needed it, but don't fucking touch my shit without asking..I think thats a reasonable and proper reaction though

[Anonymous No.9949150]

>>9948998
How does one even find a roommate like that? Also curious as to what her McDonalds orders are like.

[Anonymous No.9949199]

>>9949132
I don't mind if something of mine gets used without asking unless it's a personal item so long as it gets put back in the location and condition it was found in. And for fuck's sake, if you eat some of my cheese or use my toothpaste or something, offer to replace it or, as reciprocity, share what you've got.

[Anonymous No.9949249]

>>9949150
Living with her wasn’t my choice it’s a boarding house situation because I needed to find a place to live in a pinch. Moving out as soon as I possibly can.

Two Big Macs, a large fry, plenty of Coke, and a small fry for her horrible, horrible little yapping dog.

[Anonymous No.9949278]

>>9945718
Roommate wakes up at 7:30 after an hour of alarms go off and never cooks anything but macaroni. He's pretty cool though.

[Anonymous No.9949343]

>>9949249
>feeding a dog a diet entirely of salt and carbs
I feel bad for that little yapper

[Anonymous No.9949354]

"This plate is broken, I put it back in the cabinet"
"I spilled this down the cabinet doors...oh well"
"I put one of my bowls in the dishwasher, this one, however, must remain in the sink until tomorrow, when I move it and replace that with a new bowl"
"Let me burn off this non-stick coating"
"Let me dishwash this knife"
"I bought an entire tub of Chili Seasoning that takes up half a drawer that no family could get through in 5 years, let alone 1 person, but whatever, 4 people to 1 small fridge"
"My mom gave me a bag of fresh food that I forgot and now it's literally rotting in the drawer."
"I'll leave this pizza in the oven. That's where it lives now"
"How about frozen fishsticks, every day"
"Something of mine burst in the freezer and leaked onto food and down the door. Oh well"
"I broke your coffee grinder, oh well"

And that's just weekly habits, that's not accounting for the graveyard of Kickstarter or Bed Bath and Beyond appliances that get used once and take up already limited cabinet space.
>Endless Coffee Devices for a million Tumblers
>A Beer Foamer
>A Toaster that heats hot dogs and buns
>A Deli-Style Meat Slicer
>A Family Size rice maker
>A Sous Vide
>Former owner of not 1 but 2 NuWaves

I also see 2 sets of Pyrex Mixing Bowls, in the Amazon box, siting near the front door. Thought they were going to be Christmas presents he gave away, but it's now Jan 8 and they're still there. There is no room for them anywhere. All of the cabinets are stuffed. We already have 2 sets of mixing bowls in the kitchen.

I'm moving out later this year and I know I can never come back and visit because it'll be a disgusting mess immediately after I go.

[Anonymous No.9949413]

>entire fridge and freezer filled with prepackaged garbage that hasn’t been touched in literallly months
>nowhere to put my chicken breasts, veggies, real food

Shit drives me up the wall. I fucking hate numales.

[Anonymous No.9949417]

So this was not my own roommate, but I think you all need to know the story of Dinosaur Guy.

Dinosaur Guy, was a classmate from my art school. We called him Dinosaur Guy because he was obsessed with dinosaurs. Would talk about them non-stop and it was his favorite thing to draw. He was also a morbidly obese man with aspergers. My other classmates who shared a house with him told me their horror stories.

DG would try "cooking" a whole steak in a microwave, leave it in there for 10-20 minutes and walk away. The microwave exploded because of it. DG would take another roommates' peanut butter without asking. One time he clogged the toilet and didn't bother cleaning up the mess as the toilet continued to overflow. When the other guys yelled at him to clean it up, DG's method of cleaning was throwing a bunch of paper towels on the floor and sopping in up with his feet instead of his hands.
Apparently his room was a damn disaster. So much so that he was eventually evicted because of it. He had a fucking George Foreman grill in his room and had heaters on while the windows were open. A weird smog would emanate from his room.
But that's not the worst part.

One time, one of his roommates went to DG's door to ask him something. He sees DG's door partially open so he calls out for him but no answer. He thought it was ok to walk in.
He ends up finding DG fapping at his computer while eating pizza at the same time, with the pizza box on his lap. The guy was traumatized.

DG dropped out after one year. Mostly because he couldn't find another place to stay, and that he didn't do his art assignments on time so he failed the year anyway. You can actually find DG's artwork somewhere on deviantart but I forget his account, nor would I post it here if I did.

[Anonymous No.9949485]

>>9949413
Yep. Numales can't stop twitch streaming and catching up on the latest marvel shows to prep real food. Everyone knows you couldn't do 2 things at the same time either.

I knew the beginning of the end was when I found bottles of Soylent in our beer fridge. Now prepping frozen food is not enough, it has to be immediately consumable. You can't miss one minute of Twitch to something as menial as eating.

[Anonymous No.9949536]

>>9948757
not cucking him by the 3 of you gang baning his wife. Come on dude. Easiest way to get back at him

[Anonymous No.9949540]

>live in small place with some asian chick
>Cooks some yummy shit and introduces me to proper korean home food and shows me full recipes from start to finish
>Enjoys the traditional european food that I cook too, really solid food partnership
>Negative is that she is super anal about cleaning up everything
>Constantly on my ass about keeping the house spotless, washing my feet after coming home from work, no appliances or anything on the counters
Mfw we've been married for a year. Its the preferable extreme to my mom's complete lack of organization and piles of dishes/dog hairs.

[Anonymous No.9949789]

>be me 1 week before christmas
>crazy flat mate dices costco pack of chicken breast, probably 5lbs
>leaves on plastic plate in corner of counter uncovered
>dont think about it
>dec23
>get on plane to visit family for two weeks
>christmas vaca over
>come home chicken plate still there
>flate mate no where, no ones seen her im weeks
>couple days later go make cup of tea
>flatmate making month supply of chicken and rice
>eats it off the same plastic plate chicken was on
>stomachquake.pdf

[Anonymous No.9949800]

>>9949540
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Anonymous No.9949957]

>>9948757
what people don't seem to understand is that the poos that have been here for a few generations were generally from the higher castes, while now the poos coming in are the lower caste trash so they'll act accordingly. i don't know what it is about them and not showering, but all the new poos constantly smell like shit and don't seem aware of it or to mind it.

[Anonymous No.9950012]

>new roommate
>friend of several years
>I wake up in middle of night to get a glass of water
>walk into kitchen to find roommate
>naked
>standing in front of freezer door
>common gallon of ice cream pushed to his tummy while he scoops spoon fulls into his mouth
>awkward moment realizing roomie sleeps in the nude
>find a pube in our Blue Bell pistachio the next day

[Anonymous No.9950038]

>roommate makes me piss sitting down because apparently it 'splashes'
>she often listens at the door to make sure i'm doing it
>now i just lay my penis in the sink and piss in there because that's quiet and i can stand up like a man
>mfw shes washing her face in the sink

[Anonymous No.9950046]

>>9949417
he doesn't sound that bad or malicious, just fucked in the head.

[Anonymous No.9950098]

>>9949417
>He ends up finding DG fapping at his computer while eating pizza at the same time, with the pizza box on his lap. The guy was traumatized.
honestly who hasn't eaten pizza while fapping

[Anonymous No.9950105]

>>9946891
This absolutely disgusts me. There are people so lazy and with such a lack of any respect for themselves or others that they can't even walk a few steps outside to put garbage where it belongs. Fucking animals

[Anonymous No.9950109]

>>9949413
This is exactly why I brought my fridge with me when I moved into this house with my roommate so we have two fridges. He has his fridge full of soda, country crock and other shitty condiments, various leftover pizzas and other takeout food, freezer full of all the prepared processed bullshit that he lives on (pot pies, taquitos, hot pockets, hungry man dinners, etc.). And then I have my fridge with actual food in it.

The only real issue I have is the shared pantry space. He hardly keeps anything on his shelves but gets all butthurt if I move anything from my completely full shelves to one of his that are almost empty apart from more soda, boxes of kraft mac and cheese, canned chili, corn and beans, and bags of chips.

[Anonymous No.9950119]

>>9950038
if she isn't sucking your dick, tell her to fuck off. if she is sucking your dick then tell her to please respect your privacy while in the restroom. oh and stop being such a fucking little cunt.

[Anonymous No.9950130]

Fuck any roommate into hot sauces or condiments. Hot sauces in the spices cabinets, hot sauces on the counter, hot sauces on all the frig doors. Never finish a bottle, every birthday, every trip, every holiday, new hot sauces!!! Hot sauces, man! What a blast!

[Anonymous No.9950131]

People who can't even put in the effort to check all their food in the fridge just once a week to see what's gone bad and needs to be thrown away baffle me.

[Anonymous No.9950154]

>>9950038
>doesn't start masturbating when she watches and, therefore, turning it into sex instead
So much wasted opportunity.

[Anonymous No.9950166]

>>9947128
ask him

[Anonymous No.9950179]

>>9947858

My name is Randolph, but I go by RJ.

[Anonymous No.9950200]

>>9950179

Nice to meet you, Randolph. German here, Marco Alaxander

[Anonymous No.9950202]

>>9949354
tell him he needs to put that shit in his room, you dont need to play jenga to stack your own dishes

[Anonymous No.9950206]

>>9950200

Nice to meet you too. I’m from Newfoundland, Canada.

[Anonymous No.9950208]

>>9947774
you wouldn't happen to have shot him, would you?

[Anonymous No.9950267]

>>9949070
Yea it was heaps of fun. After a few months though it was kinda shitty having no privacy, constant noise and messy kitchen. The landlady was making $10k a month off us too, the fucking jew.

[Anonymous No.9950272]

>>9950267
this wasn't aspen colorado, was it? i was in the place only once for a night but i was shocked just how expensive everything was. i've been to quite a few tourist traps in the US but nothing else was this expensive.

[Anonymous No.9950274]

>>9950267
Hey now. Kikes are people too.

[Anonymous No.9950282]

>>9947774
>>9947750
you don't "sue" someone for getting shot.
well, you do, but because it's a criminal issue and not a civil one the cops would have been on them lickety fucking split
and if he actually got treated for a gunshot, the doctor is required to report it in many jurisdictions

[Anonymous No.9950300]

>>9950272
nah it was in Whistler. Nearly impossible to get a room to yourself in that town. Have to share with 1-3 strangers unless you have friends or a g/f to share with. No-one lists non-share rooms to rent and trades them off to friends/friends-of-friends instead.

[Anonymous No.9950304]

>Roommate goes to sleep at like 10, sometimes 11
>I start cooking dinner
>Come in to room at midnight with smelly food and all my cooking stuff
>Roommate is knocked out cold
>I eat in the dark and fall straight asleep
First roommate... fuckin' sucks. He doesn't even mind it when I bring beers and liquor to the room. Can't stand it.

[Anonymous No.9950310]

>live off campus
>with a bunch of stoners
>they use the kitchen every day but never do dishes
>because 'no one else does dishes why should I?'
Viscous circle.

[Anonymous No.9950318]

>>9946168
>buy a fixer upper on a 15 year mortgage with low interest
details pls?
and where are you?
>9949249
get her drunk, take to pound town

[Anonymous No.9950331]

>>9950282
the state handles the criminal matter, but you can also file a civil suit.

[Anonymous No.9950334]

>tfw no roommates

Consider yourselves lucky. I'm so fucking lonely.

[Anonymous No.9950335]

>>9950310
I had one strict landlady that found a solution to this problem.
She had one set of cutlery/crockery for each room, all different colours. All with their own cupboards. My plate, bowl, cup, coffee mug, knife fork etc were all green. Other housemates had blue or red ones.

If there was a green bowl left in the sink the landlady and my housemates would straight away know it's mine. She would evict anyone that had a habit of leaving dishes unwashed or out more than a couple of times.

>>9950304
I feel ya.
>i worked from 6-3
>few other roommates had somewhat normal hours
>one worked evenings, home at midnight
>one chick worked graveyard and would sleep all day
>couldn't make noise in the day
>couldn't sleep at night from TV/drinking/cooking/partying
>couldn't have an alarm with sound because of sleeping roommates, so had to set to Vibrate and leave under the pillow
I have no idea how I never overslept in that place

[Anonymous No.9950336]

>>9950334
i'd tell you to get a pet but you'd probably end up killing it or making it suffer through negligence.

[Anonymous No.9950339]

>>9945732
uhh. why do you have a female roommate?

[Anonymous No.9950344]

>>9950336

I'd like to get a pet, but I don't think I can have one since I work so much and live alone. Who the fuck would take care of it?

[Anonymous No.9950362]

>have a crazy wine-drinker of housemate, let's call him welfarebro
>slightly psychotic eyes, taped-together glasses, thin as a skeleton, weird as fuck but good guy once you get to know him
>other housemates and I come home from grocery shopping (we used to pool money, share food and cook together cuz it was cheaper to buy in bulk)
>extension cord going from kitchen out the back window
>it's plugged into another extension cord into the backyard
>up a tree
>welfarebro is wasted quoting lines from Cool Runnings again, laughing like a psycho
>hanging from a tree branch holding an electric bread knife
>"Welfarebro what the fuck are you doing?"
>"It was cold, so I thought I'd cut us some firewood"

another time
>upstairs, vidya, chillin
>hear banging downstairs
>live in a house with 4 engineering students and a drug dealer, so figure it's nothing at first
>it goes on for an hour
>get sick of the noise, so go down to see what's up
>welfarebro is wasted again, drinking red wine out of a coffee cup
>listening to The Doors for the 47th time today
>the movie Falling Down blaring from his PC (he watched that movie probably 4x a day)
>smacking the kitchen counter with a towel
>laughing and screaming quotes from Cool Runnings again

[Anonymous No.9950367]

>>9950344

get afucking fish tank, honestly. Read up on it before, but it's better than nothing, speaking from experience. Not much maintance, but keeps you grounded

[Anonymous No.9950371]

>>9950344
Some pets are pretty durable. I'd recommend googling it but chinchillas are pretty awesome if you don't need something to scratch behind the ears. Fuckers are like someone managed to crossbreed a mouse with speedy-Gonzalez and a kangaroo.

They're cute and hardy, but you need a proper environment or they'll wall-jump and slam into a gate or corner until the hooks bend or break, and then good luck catching one because they're quick as hell.

[Anonymous No.9950374]

>>9950362
He sounds fun

[Anonymous No.9950389]

>>9950374
no shit, dude sounds fun as fuck

[Anonymous No.9950390]

>>9950374
I miss him. It was always an adventure living with that guy, like he had found his own personal path to happiness and had stopped giving a fuck about what other people thought.

>welfarebro asks how to cook chinese dumplings
>he usually only eat's take-out, like chinese or pizza
>tell him he could defrost & bake them, or just microwave them in a dish with some water
>30min later smell smoke
>our tower of microwaves (we had 4 for some reason) is on fire
>we put it out
>melted plastic non-microwave safe dish and 4 pieces of charcoal
>he's nowhere to be found
>he comes home 15min later
>"oh dude what the fuck happened"
>tell him his shit was on fire and how the fuck he did it
>"oh I just put em in a container and set it for 40min because I wasnt sure how long they'd take, then went to the store"
>"oh I forgot to put water in the dish, maybe that's what it was"
>he went back to only eating take-out again after that

[Anonymous No.9950399]

>>9950335
I even work 11pm to 3am and 3am to 7pm sometimes. But I sleep like an old car forgotten in a garage during the days after graveyard shifts.
Besides, this isn't something I'm used to. It's all new and probably temporary.

[Anonymous No.9950423]

my roommate got a pig and would sleep with it
one day i spilled a bunch of oatmeal over my carpet and called the pig to clean it up. his snout just wet most of it and it grew into the carpet.

i would make pizza on pita bread every morning and i would make some for my roommate who would smoke me out

one time i spent all of our beercan refund money on 12 bottles of wine from traderjoes. the roommates were pissed but we drank it.

[Anonymous No.9950429]

>>9946235
>he buys a new bottle of vodka
>every night when he's not home, I pour two shots of it down the sink
Why? He replaced the damn thing

[Anonymous No.9950431]

HOW DO PPL GET GIRL ROMMATES? HOW?

[Anonymous No.9950435]

i had craigslist moving jobs for people and right when i moved into a new house with a bunch of new people, three different customers were moving out and gave me their kitchens worth of shit. we had so many dishes we started chucking them at the house next door,. the squaters there did no like us doing that. thensoon after when we had the perfect amount of dishes, someone was dancing on the counter and pulled out the whole cabinet, people were on ketamine and shit. i had work the next day adn walk into the kitchen to see broken dishes everywhere and people under the table and thought "hmmm, mustve been an earthquake" and went back to bed

[Anonymous No.9950437]

>>9950431
Don't have autism.
Also they're not good, you don't want female roommates, they're insane and UNBELIEVABLY filthy.

[Anonymous No.9950457]

>>9950431
move into a house with girls.

so yeah one time the squatters next door brought a big bag of pizza and garlic bread so we placed it in front of the toaster oven and thats all we ate for 3 days

our last night at that house, we passed out in the street with an extension cord ran out to a toaster oven with my rooommates frozen chicken tenders. then early in the am we watched our neighbor back up over a ketchup bottle and it jist sqiuirted out so amazingly . . .u

i lived with 4 different good to high end chefs and asked them tons of quuestions all the time, ive learned so much from them

[Anonymous No.9950458]

>>9950431
Be gay, or be a women.
cppathka: moos colombp

[Anonymous No.9950462]

>>9950339
2/3rds of cu/ck/s are women. That's why hardly anybody on the cooking board can actually fucking cook.

[Anonymous No.9950482]

my house averaged about 8 hippie people there at a time, no dishwasher, we all cooked we would do about 2 sink fulls of dishes a day. it worked.
uggghhhh and then the lazy people joined the house numbers and the dish situation turned ugly
one guy would constantly eat bowls of cereal throughout the day and everytime use a new bowl and spoon leaving the old ones in the sink. and whenever i made a comment about him not doing dishes, he would was the one bowl and spoon in his hand and start jiving on about other people in the house eat cereal too

laziest roommates ive had have been niggers, probably about 5 of them by now
samoans are dumb and crazy

[Anonymous No.9950490]

>>9950462
I don't believe this, there's like only 7 women on 4chan max

[Anonymous No.9950509]

>>9950490
/cgl/ and /soc/ are full of girls. There is a lot on /ck/ and /fa/ too.

[Anonymous No.9950515]

>>9950462
If this is true we should all start getting together, because I'm getting pretty fucking horny and I'm tired of being this god damn lonely. I'm ready to cook for one of these bitches and fuck their brains out. Where the white bitches at?

[Anonymous No.9950546]

>>9950098
That's pretty gross desu. Normal people don't eat while jacking it, unless it's a fetish.

[Anonymous No.9950607]

>>9950546
How in the fuck am I supposed to tell if you're being sarcastic? I had a bowl of cereal while taking a shit yesterday. I used to smoke and drink on the toilet some time ago. Get with the program missy.

[Anonymous No.9950620]

>>9950607
>he thinks all if those things are normal

[Anonymous No.9950622]

>>9950431
You know women are about 50% of the population, right? And this guy >>9950437 is right. Usually they're insane, filthy and know they can be massive cunts without any repercussions. They can be good though. I used to have a German chick housemate that used to bake all day, an Aussie girl that used to knit and a hippie who I used to get stoned with who made hula-hoops. She ended up moving out when she started making more money from that than her full-time job.

[Anonymous No.9950630]

>>9946867
Why is that Xbox upside down

[Anonymous No.9950635]

>>9950607
I guess you've never heard of the expression "you don't shit where you eat"?

[Anonymous No.9950638]

>>9947093
Im a huge sperg and Ive been manager with 25-30 people under me. Its only crippling if dumb and a aspie. Otherwise you adapt.

[Anonymous No.9950642]

>>9945718
>be me
>college student
>in dorm
>playing divine divinity on a Saturday night
>roommate comes back from pub crawl
>has a fat girl who looks like Foghorn Leghorn's nephew around his arm
>wants me to leave so they can fuck
>I tell her to fuck off
>cockblock my roommate so he doesn't get accused of drunk rape
>he goes into the fridge and gets all of the hotpockets
>tries to microwave them all at once
>stumbles and falls on top of my desk
>"I give up anon"
>lays down on bed
>"I don't feel so good"
>Get him a plastic bag
>is about to throw up
>he pukes all over our carpet and completely misses the bag
>mfw

[Anonymous No.9950647]

>>9950335
Did you live in a halfway house?

[Anonymous No.9950653]

>>9950437
This. I cleaned houses for a summer and did apartment clean outs in a big college town and all of the places that had girls only were nasty as fuck. Dudes are messy and maybe don't vacuum enough or clean minor details, but women consistently were more willing to live in absolute filth.
>had to use oven cleaner on bath tubs
>picking up bloody tampons just left around
>MAGGOTS MAGGOTS EVERYWHERE IN THE FRIDGE

[Anonymous No.9950660]

>>9950635
it gets boring on the toiler shitting and i get hungry, you don't shit in the kitchen but it's ok to eat on the shitter
the expression isn't 'you don't eat where you shit'

[Anonymous No.9950671]

>>9946310
sorry about it mr money bags

[Anonymous No.9950675]

>>9950630
>thinking that xbox worked

[Anonymous No.9950680]

>>9950653
>living and working in a hostel
>we get a new staff member
>we put her up in a spare room for a month while she looks for a place to rent
>she finds one, moves out
>another new hire takes over the room she just left
>complains about something stinking up the place
>we strip the room out
>find a pile of month-old tampons stuffed under the mattress
>apparently she used to whip the used ones out while sleeping and just stash them because she was too lazy to walk 5ft to the toilet

[Anonymous No.9950698]

>>9950660
Still gross. I'd rather not have eating and shitting on my mind at the same time

[Anonymous No.9950719]

>>9950660

How fat are you?

[Anonymous No.9950739]

>>9950200
t. Hans

[Anonymous No.9950744]

>>9947019
Most of that stuff is pretty weird but I get the chair thing. I'm a pretty normal guy, but like sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the coffee table. If the gf takes my spot I stand behind her and wedge my foot slowly into her buttcrack. Very effective at moving people from unwanted places. No one likes toes wiggling into their buttcheeks.

[Anonymous No.9950757]

>>9950620
I'm fully immersed in absolutely everything around me that was made and created by someone or something else, and talking to other people by text alone, through a computer by internet. Nothing about anything is normal anymore it seems.

I'm fucking tired of posting on here. I'm tired of video games. I'm tired of this computer shit. I'm tired of being sad and lonely and pretending I'm not. I'm tired of feeling so fucking different and like no one can relate to me. I'm tired of talking to all of you. I don't even go to /*/ anymore. I'm tired of all of this.

[Anonymous No.9950762]

>>9950757
It's gotten boring, and so have all of you.
Peace.

Anon

[Anonymous No.9950795]

>>9945718
>>9945718
Lived with manchilds once and had to clean about 3 month old dishes piled up. Living with other people made me realize I am that spaz that has to have everything clean. It’s not as bad now but I don’t even bother going into the kitchen. Honestly, how hard is it to clean shit after you use it or hell even the next day one of you cooks the other cleans. They leave shit uncovered so much. I have seen mold more times than I have before moving.

[Anonymous No.9950803]

>>9946595
post tits

[Anonymous No.9950817]

>>9948998
>I’m going to kill her in her sleep one night

I can assure you she's already working on that

[Anonymous No.9950913]

>>9946379
Why wouldn't someone want to keep such a nice kitchen clean? I fucking hate ungrateful messy assholes

[Anonymous No.9950959]

>>9950698
>bodily functions are too gross for me
Nayrt but it's something I've done but not that I'd do while living with someone else

[Anonymous No.9950960]

>>9946595
trannies are the worst

[Anonymous No.9950972]

>>9949090
story time about murder forty-hands?

[Anonymous No.9951002]

Lived with a gook who would marinate chicken necks and leave them uncovered in the fridge all the time. She also clogged the drains with her hair and leave butter out that would melt all over the counter tops.

[Anonymous No.9951006]

>>9946867
I had a scummy room mate named Mike!
>Sophomore year of college
>lease a place with 3 other guys (still friends with one, like best friends)
>Scumbag Mike never cleans
>Didn't know how to do laundry
>Every meal was microwaved
>the crem de la crem was that he would use a plate for his mcdonalds, cover it in ketchup, i'm talking like a 4th of a bottle every meal, then instead of just putting it in the sink or GOD FORBID doing the dishes he used, he placed it on the floor by the couch.
>That is right, my room mate would place his dirty dishes on the floor by the couch.
>Me and the other two dudes tried to confront him about it and all he said was, "I am not going to do dishes a single time this year"
>He was the only person who used the fucking dishes (I just ate out every meal because our kitchen was kept in such a bad state due to another room mate)
>Later in the lease when he was back at his parents house he refused to pay utilities because "I'm not living there"
>When he was there he would smoke weed in the apartment every single day
>During Little 500 (Indiana Universities Shit Fest Bike Race for down syndrome kids AKA Greek Life) my room mates invite a girl over while I'm out and she gets fucked up on shit vodka and xannax then shits on the floor.
>Yes I had to clean that, and the bathroom she almost died in once the paramedics I had to call because "I don't want the cops busting the party" -Mike
> When he moved out he left the room he lived out of in such disrepair plus the stained carpets in the living room from shit girl we lost that deposit so swift.
>He bitched when he never got a deposit back

Whole situation was so fucked. I have a lot of stories. The other room mate I don't really talk to anymore moved some cunt in during the first semester and she took up all our fridge etc. It was a shit fest and to make things worse I was going through a break up with my first real girlfriend and my best friend died so my insanity didn't help.

[Anonymous No.9951023]

>>9951006
Sounds like this Mike could be related to my old roomie. He would do the same with leaving disgusting plates by his air mattress which eventually got a hole. It had a motor so he would constantly have to turn it on to stop it from deflating. He would wake up on the floor and said he liked it that way. Looked terrible for his back.

[Anonymous No.9951066]

>>9946456
Nigger what
No, plebs use quality ingredients, that yes may fall under 'condiments', that shant be wasted on tastlet fagit foods.

[Anonymous No.9951093]

>>9945832
>having roommates shitty enough to use your shit without asking
thank god i live with my brother and an old friend

[Anonymous No.9951117]

>>9950960
>tranny roomate on female hormones
>zero desire to maintain a clean living space
>zero anger management skills
>fucking mental
>mfw he smashed his computer monitor after other roommate angrily woke him up to clean the giant bullshit mess he left in the kitchen

I am so tired of this shit.

[Anonymous No.9951125]

>>9947303
>tfw 24 and still live at home with no end in sight
>tfw know the hammer is going to fall eventually
>tfw have only one friend, hate almost everyone and am absolutely terrified of meeting new people because it almost always ends with me disliking them

Something's gotta give eventually but these roommate horror stories certainly don't help my anxiety.

[Anonymous No.9951127]

>>9951125
If you move in with non-fat whites with a job then there's a better chance of them being normal

[Anonymous No.9951143]

>>9950817
Just flip her on to her back while she's sleeping, her own bodyweight will do the rest.

[Anonymous No.9951157]

>>9951117
Just give her some respect desu

[Anonymous No.9951175]

>>9950515
Kek
I love you cu/ck/olds more than /pol/ sometimes.

[Anonymous No.9951200]

>>9951117
>Not helping society and convincing IT to complete what 40% of its try

[Anonymous No.9951202]

>>9945718
I'm the only one who ever does the dishes and I don't find it a big deal since I work from home but it is super frustrating when 2 of them don't do fucking ANYTHING except play games all day and make really loud noises yelling to their friends on mic. I wouldn't give a fuck except one of them bitches about dirty dishes all day even though everyone contributes to the problem but I'm the only one who actively fixes it. It pisses me off because now they all expect me to do it because I'm the only one who does. I can't wait to not be in a position to afford not having roommates anymore, shit is a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous No.9951218]

>>9947538
fucking this man, at some point it's like an immovable object and an unstoppable force and you just have to find a way out of the situation. I'm working on that right now

[Anonymous No.9951265]

>>9950334
Nah man roommates are a good way of turning friends into people you never want to be around if you find out they have incompatible lifestyles and sensibilities. Like twitch streaming and louldy gayming nad sperging out over youtube e-celebs for example

[Anonymous No.9951284]

>>9950437
fucking this, some of the most irrational people you will ever meet are female roommates

[Anonymous No.9951302]

>>9951006
reminds me of a guy I'm glad wasn't my roommate
>guy before me
>acting student at the local university
>didn't have a job
>had the biggest bedroom in the house
>never once did laundry in the year he lived there
>left dirty dishes, cups, plates, forks fucking everywhere
>his desk was covered with cups half filled with mold (both cups from the kitchen and disposable cups from McDonalds)
>ate McDonalds, KFC or Subway pretty much exclusively
>before I moved in, my friends who lived there asked me to house-sit because they didnt trust him to be in the house alone for 2 weeks
>he was in the process of moving out, was living in the lounge room for a week
>we kept finding chicken bones in the inch-thick shag carpet in that room for weeks after he left
>the bones were so dry and bare of meat it was clear they'd fully decomposed
>i move in, one of my friends gets to upgrade to the big bedroom
>unbearable smell for days
>look under the bed
>nest of ~50 used condoms
>fucker didnt even tie them off, would just rip them off after jerking it or sex and just stash em there
>we call the cunt, make him come back to the house and clean it up himself
>he's mad at us like it was our fault for making him clean up his stash of jizz-covered condoms

[Anonymous No.9951304]

>>9950437
>UNBELIEVABLY filthy
protip: if any of you work in hospitality, always take a day off the day after halloween. Crazy bitches spew, shit, leave blood and make-up and glitter everywhere

[Anonymous No.9951308]

>>9950038
how do you put up with that shit? like what business is it of hers what you do in the bathroom? if some bitch tried that with me i would slap the shit out of them.

[Anonymous No.9951309]

>>9951125
Yeah hearing these stories makes me never wanna dorm. Don’t know how my friend put up with some of the shit he’s seen. I’m not your fucking mom I don’t wanna look up after you and clean.

[Anonymous No.9951313]

>>9949037
Give me the deets on that shit anon
sounds like a juicy lawsuit

[Anonymous No.9951326]

about 40% of the problems in this thread could be solved with pic related. im kind of a lazy fuck so i just use paper and plastic cause we dont have a machine.

>>9950390
>our tower of microwaves (we had 4 for some reason) is on fire
dont know why but the thought of that is hilarious

[Anonymous No.9951337]

>>9951326
Then the problem emerges when one person refuse to buy them when it's their turn. I wouldn't mind dropping a couple hundred to get like a yearlong supply of this desu tho, mutual kitchens are too much of a nightmare when you've got people who won't pull their weight

[Anonymous No.9951361]

>>9951337
>couple of hundred
its not that expensive mang

>one person refuse to buy them
just keep them in your room and let the lazy faggots buy their own

[Anonymous No.9951399]

>>9946165

[Anonymous No.9951427]

I know it's not /ck/ related, but I had the roommate back in college that would pilfer little things from me now and then. A pair of headphones, some crackers, various other things. One night I found he had done his laundry with my laundry detergent and I worked myself up into such a sperg rage that I poured the whole bottle down the sink.

A few weeks later I woke up to him trying to take another pair of my headphones off my desk. I wanted to beat his ass so bad, but in the end I just stared in his face and took them out of his hand, then went back to sleep.

Oh, and there was the time he got shitfaced while I was away for the weekend and I came back Sunday afternoon to find he had vomited in our shared sink (we lived in a dorm) and failed to clean it up. I had to go buy fucking drain cleaner out of my own pocket so I could use the sink. He came back a couple days later and was like "uhhh sorry man I didn't know you'd be back so soon" like motherfucker I go to class Monday through Friday, why wouldn't I be back?

[Anonymous No.9951460]

>>9945928
You sound whiny af. If they scratched your non stick pan sure, stainless steel is fine for any utensils. Protip utensils =/= sandpaper.

[Anonymous No.9951580]

>>9951125
Just dislike them, youre not required to like people.

[Anonymous No.9951590]

>>9951265
Is streaming really that popular ? I have had one roommate who watches other people play games. But it looks so sad I thought it was a nitch activity at best.

[Anonymous No.9951592]

>Roommate makes spaghetti
>Corn and green beans are in it
In the trash it goes

[Anonymous No.9951593]

>>9949037
It's really sad when someone would do that too someone
I don't what race the person is that's just mean

[Anonymous No.9951613]

>>9947989
nice. glad to read someone here did something good for their life.

[Anonymous No.9951659]

>>9951590
It's a multi-million dollar industry when you count all the multiplayer e-celebs and whatever else. I don't really mind it except when it's loud and obnoxious and I can't have a conversation with the person about anything else. It's the same with potheads, I don't mind getting high once in a blue moon and maybe going to a park or eating some good food but when you've got like 8+ people taking bong rips 24/7 in the living room acting like a fucking social toll booth whenever I want to get food or take a shower or leave or come home then you are a shitty roommate, nawmean?

[Anonymous No.9951691]

>>9950318
In a mid-sized city in Oregon.

[Anonymous No.9951741]

>>9949417
That's all it takes to make a microwave explode? Surprised really.

[Anonymous No.9951756]

>>9946267
OwO

[Anonymous No.9951765]

>>9950038
You need to do these my guy:
>>9950119
>>9951308
Call her out for being a fucking weird ass too and tell its not goddamn normal to make sure an adult is taking a piss the right way.

[Anonymous No.9951798]

>>9948998
really love the aspirational food ingredient hoarding vs. the immediate gratification takeout ordering. whatta mess.

[Anonymous No.9951803]

>Gf and I watching Seinfeld in my room with door open
>see something in the corner of My eye
>Roommate is jacking it with his hand under his pants, like turbo speed fapping
>I point at him and exclaim "what the fuck man" loudly
>He runs off to his room and hides under the covers (lol?)
>Gf said my face was white (rage and disgust)
>She had no idea Cus she didn't turn around
>We were heading interstate that day so I made that faggot give me his key there and then and kicked him out.
>He was a skeleton with long black greasy hair and listened to doom metal. Such a faggot.
>Key while interstate while all his shit is in my apartment for 2 weeks and he has to go live with his dad.

Oh yeah and he had 80 % of all our dishes in his room.

[Anonymous No.9951805]

>>9950744
I do uwu

[Anonymous No.9951814]

>>9947093
Maybe he has dementia or like oncoming skitzophrenia. Or he's already turning into a grumpy old man. Or saw some shit

[Anonymous No.9951820]

>>9951803
Kek while interstate *

[Anonymous No.9951822]

>>9949540
dang bro congratz on settling for a gook!

[Anonymous No.9951898]

>>9950429
I take it from the lack of a reply from that anon he is now seriously rethinking some life choices after you stated the obvious.

[Anonymous No.9951932]

>>9951006
>Little 5
Students are the worst part of Bloomington.

[Anonymous No.9951937]

>>9950462
Where does this stat keep coming from? Because as far as I’m concerned everyone on this bitch is an amorphous genderless blob except for me.

[Anonymous No.9951939]

>>9950462
Just stop this tired and forced meme already

[Anonymous No.9951948]

>>9946259
Elevated mindset here

[Anonymous No.9951961]

>>9950642
you're a dick, you should have let him smash

[Anonymous No.9951993]

>tfw my worst roommate was a /fit/autist that had such a ironclad diet that I would never notice him using our kitchen unless I caught him on my way out to work making oats. Its a shame, he was by far the shittiest roomate Ive ever had but no /ck/ stories except his unseasoned, oven baked for 45 minutes chicken breast. Had a summer living with a friend in a dorm block with 20 indians and 40 chinese nationals though
>Much better roommate
>At school over the summer for internship program
>Taco bell 5 days a week for him
>makes something on weekends
>Sets the pan to simmer a thing on the stove
>Leaves the dorm kitchen to take a shit
>Maybe ten minutes later walks in on 7-8 indian interns filling the dorm kitchen
>They dumped out his food and were using his pan as a cutting board
>A 300 degree cutting board

[Anonymous No.9952003]

>tfw my worst roommate was a /fit/autist that had such a ironclad diet that I would never notice him using our kitchen unless I caught him on my way out to work making oats.
Its a shame, he was by far the shittiest roomate Ive ever had but no /ck/ stories except his unseasoned, oven baked for 45 minutes chicken breast. Had a summer living with a friend in a dorm block with 20 indians and 40 chinese nationals though
>Much better roommate
>At school over the summer for internship program
>Taco bell 5 days a week for him
>makes something on weekends
>Sets the pan to simmer a thing on the stove
>Leaves the dorm kitchen to take a shit
>Maybe ten minutes later walks in on 7-8 indian interns filling the dorm kitchen
>They dumped out his food and were using his pan as a cutting board
>A 300 degree cutting board

[Anonymous No.9952150]

>have self proclaimed neat freak 'mature' roommate
>is always lecturing people, declares himself de facto leader of the house when landlord is away
>anger problems, goes apeshit at extremely small things like crumbs on the toaster
>cannot cook literally anything
>buys several days worth of PRE-COOKED spaghetti trays from the grocery store, costs five times as much as boiling water, microwaves store-made cold pasta for dinner several days in a row
>one day, brings home a chuck toast, microwaves it for 20-40 minutes, and splits it between him and his dog
>keeps all his food in a mini fridge in his room because he believes the old roommate was poisoning him
>mega conspiracy theorist, believed the illuminati was behind all bad things that happened in his life including him quitting school, would claim that you are persecuting him and trying to piss him off on purpose when the kitchen isn't perfectly clean
>can't prepare a single meal for himself, yet felt the need to remark on how brainwashed we were for buying anything. All brands, off-brands, and generic groceries were 'marketed to trick people into buying them'
>was paranoid and feared being watched, but was ruthlessly observant and had a little comment about everything I bought or did, bickered about everything and would never accept food when offered
>constant meaningless power plays to no effect, over everything
Fuck you Michael, I know it sucks to be alone, so we wanted to be nice but you always took it way to far when we did. Just come out of the closet already, it wasn't a big deal when you groped me under the table at the bar, but when you told me you liked the smell of my shit and that you wanted to rape me, I had to move out. I mean I know I'm sloppy but you are seriously not sane.

[Anonymous No.9952191]

>>9952003
What made him so shitty if you don't even have stories about him?

[Anonymous No.9952225]

>>9952191
Nothing /ck/ related. Being late with rent, couldnt hold a job, constantly brought sketchy wierdos and high schoolers over. The biggest middle finger was when he ghosted the apartment, moved out of state and a week later national grid hung a notice on my door that they were going to shut off my power because he hadnt actually paid the power bill in months.

[Anonymous No.9952237]

>>9952225
Ah, yeah, the "roommates bringing shitty people around you" thing is a biggy. I wonder why it is that some people just lack courtesy and self-awareness

[Anonymous No.9952273]

>>9949485
I drink joylent for breakfast b/c it's fast and easy and way healthier than anything else I could prepare and consume in 5 minutes or less.

[Anonymous No.9952278]

>>9952237
He was one of those too smart for his own good types. He was fine from a /ck/ standpoint. Cleaned up after himself, had his own pan/skillet, left my food alone. I came home early one day to find out he was tutoring kids from the local high school in professional smash brothers melee while I was at work. He would also have other melee "professionals" over when I was on a night shift at my second job. One came over while he was out and hung out for a few hours before roommate got home. Shown up in December walking around no socks, shorts and started cutting his thighs with a nail on our couch. Fucked up my first night off in a week

[Anonymous No.9952301]

>>9952278
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.9952321]

>>9951814
I sometimes think so. Every little thing bothers him nowadays. If my mom or I leave a mug or plate in the sink to soak in soap for a little bit, he'll complain about people leaving shit in the sink. It bothers him if things are left on the kitchen table, especially if it's newspapers left there from the morning.
I'll make a cup of coffee, leave it on the kitchen table or counter to go use the bathroom, then Dad will come into kitchen while I'm in the bathroom and spill it out, because he assumed it was left there last night.
When we're at a restaurant, my dad always asks for extra napkins because he's neurotic about putting utensils on the table. He'll also take your empty plate when you're done eating and stack them because he thinks it's easier for the waitress to take.
It's at the point I hate being in the same room with him. I hate when he comes into the kitchen while I'm cooking breakfast because he'll constantly ask "What's this tool here? Why is this here? Why are you cooking it this way?" Etc.
Like for example, I was making over easy eggs. When I make my eggs, I put a little water in the pan and cover it with a lid to cook the egg. I then take the lid off and put it on the counter by the stove. So of course, my dad comes into the kitchen right then and asks "why is this lid out? Its in the way". He has to comment on everything and anything you do and it's annoying.

[Anonymous No.9952388]

>>9951590
>nitch
fucking americans seriously, it is spelled niche
Supposed to be pronounced neesh
You guys fuck up the simplest things

[Anonymous No.9952812]

>>9952388
>Sees a thread going perfectly well, staying on topic

>remembers america exists and slowly becomes obsessed with some random anon's spelling mistake

quick better derail it!

[Anonymous No.9952823]

>having roommates
>ever

bruh
LOOK AT THIS DUDE
ohnonononononoouuuuu
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous No.9952975]

Never had a roomate but if I were forced to live together with my best friend I would probably kill him

>Has his apartment stacked with stuff from floor to roof, almost hoarding tendencies
>Complains about how small apartments are "nowadays"
>Never cleans, everything has a sheet of dust over it
>Says "Yeah I would clean but I never have the time now that I'm working. Also it just gets dirty again so what are you going to do" even though he was out of work and lived of wellfare doing nothing for 2 years
>His sink is full of dirty dishes soaking in water for God knows how long, one time it got moldy and I stsrted sneezing as soon as I got into his apartment. Then he got mad a t me for stopping coming over and told me I should have said something if I thought it was that disgusting
>Lives off microwave pizzas and hotpockets. Aparently his workplace has a really good cafeteria with a great chef so he says he only needs to eat proper at work
>If I ever come over he feels insulted when I say I want my food or snacks on clean plates/bowl
>Once wanted me to drink out of the same paper mug I had used the last time we hung out
>Eats all his food out of the same plate wich he almos never dishes
>Has the nerve to call people slobs for not cleaning the lint filter in his apartments laundry room

I like the guy but at one point I stopped going to his apartment and I've never looked back.

[Anonymous No.9952992]

>>9946159
my roommate is the same except he's 32

he puts vegetables in a pot with water then sets it to "boil" on simmer. i almost dont let him cook anymore

[Anonymous No.9953104]

>>9950038
>tfw sitting down to piss even though I'm a man
Can't do it in public anyways.

[Anonymous No.9953116]

>>9950334
must suck being such a normie who unironically desires human interaction

being alone is so much better and comfier

[Anonymous No.9953159]

>>9953116
Being with one person you love unconditionally is best. Fuck everyone else except my baby.

[Anonymous No.9953198]

>>9952388
It's spelled niche, but can be pronounced as nitch.
https://www.google.com/search?q=Dictionary#dobs=niche

[Anonymous No.9953202]

>>9952823

[Anonymous No.9953206]

>>9952812
its not just the spelling its also the pronunciation error that almost all americans make
To get it back on topic if I had a room mate who pronounced it like that i'd put arsenic in his food

[Anonymous No.9953373]

>>9950429
I thought the implication was that his roommate bought a new bottle of vodka for himself

[Anonymous No.9953593]

>>9951302
who the fuck jerks it into a condom?

[Anonymous No.9953619]

>>9951202
yes. roomates are a good inventive to get a degree.

[Anonymous No.9953675]

>>9945783
These are not condiments.

[Anonymous No.9953913]

>>9953593
It feels really good, only thing I've ever used a condom for

[Anonymous No.9954058]

>>9952975
Does this type of shit not get you sick? It's amazing really.

[Anonymous No.9954432]

>>9945718
>cooks bacon
>washes out the pan without draining grease
RIP pipes

[Anonymous No.9954498]

>>9946127
>bought a brand new cast iron pan over a year ago and still never used it because i have no idea how to care for it and scared i'll fuck it up.

how do you do it anon?

[Anonymous No.9954667]

>Leaves utensils on the side sitting on top of kitchen paper, never in the sink or dishwasher
>Always some how manages to use multiple pots and pans no matter how simple the food cooked is
>Takes 3 days to wash their fucking shit only when they want to re-use it again
>When they do it's still fucking greasy
>Cooks everything in inches of oil in the oven, claims it's healthier than frying. It's fucking shallow frying
>Burns everything, fire alarm constantly goes off, literally cannot even saute mushrooms correctly
>Tried to steal my food once, only once caught them mid act
>Claims to be a chef, in reality not even a cook
>Leaves half finished drinks fucking everywhere, why are you drinking orange juice in the fucking toilet?
>Used my fucking toothbrush and when confronted denied it claimed it to be theirs, called them on their shit, they then claimed to change the heads so I wouldn't notice, so it shouldn't bother me in the same argument
>Catch them a second fucking time
>Is clinically obese and thinks their opinion on my gym routine is worth anything
>Broke the fucking shower, now it leaks through the ceiling below
>I went away for a week, would rather live in filth literally than vacuum
I dunno if it should bother me as much as it does, I've read worse

[Anonymous No.9954776]

>>9950972
Not much to tell.
I can give you a full backstory but doubt you'd be that interested in the whole thing. Suffice to say, one Friday night, lesbian roommate and I were hanging out with a friend of ours playing Edward 40-hands and watching stand up vids, We hear yelling and screaming and fighting from next door. Didn't think much of it at the time as the people next door are a pair of greasy wop degos who always have it out. Fighting starts around 2.45am or so and by 3am, we hear a pair of muffled sounds, but not sure what they were. Followed by a second pair soon after. Then silence. I joked that "maybe he shot the bitch in the face
then himself so we never have to hear their shit again." We laugh and continue drinking and watching Eddie Izzard (I think Glorious, but it coulda been Dressed to Kill).
Some time or other the next night, we're leaving to go to a party and as we're walking out the door, we get accosted by detectives who want to ask us some questions. They tell us the people next door are dead
in an apparent murder/suicide and asked us if we heard anything. I chime in "they'll still be dead in the morning, right? We're on our way somewhere. Can't you come back tomorrow?" She (the detective) was not amused. So we sit around in my living room an hour or so and we tell them what I told you. That's it. That's why I said "sorta witnessed" a murder/suicide. We ain't see shit, but hearing stuff counts as witness, I guess.

[Anonymous No.9954778]

>>9954667
>broke shower

How did they manage that?

[Anonymous No.9954797]

>>9954778
I don't fucking know, the plumber got it wrong the first time and had to be called back
Probably because they're fat as fuck, the poor thing couldn't handle their weight in the bath I guess

[Anonymous No.9954803]

Buckle up /ck/, you are in for a treat
Just for understandings, it was a big dorm co-operating with the school, we even had full catering which wasn't that bad considering it was cafeteria style mostly, anyway meet my narcistic numale ex-roomate (white male)

>would probably only shower once a week
>takes pride in being a gamer although he mostly watched some LP-streamers
>wouldn't order pizza when it was his turn to go out and get it (4 storey building) and pouted if nobody ordered with him (had a minimum order limit at local pizza place) because he ALWAYS tried to avoid going for the run and everybody on the floor knew his shenanigans

this was just a warmup we dive in now /ck/
>you could do 5 or 4 year education (5 was with higher end-degree and overall way harder)
>despite him doing the 4 year, he always mentioned that he is way better than all the 5ers because he appearantly learns the same in his classes and yadayada
>although he was pretty smart, he was self-centered beyond good, if you needed help with schoolwork he would only help you if you more likely admitted that he is smarter than you and you couldn't solve the problem without his majesties help
>thought he was superior to me since i did a complete different degree and he once had some lessons that barely scratched my subject
>"ya know anon, i can do your stuff you learned for years, advanced and perfectioned it just as good as you, we had a basic course on that :^)
>whenever we had physical fights (all of the lads were around 17 at the time) he would literally bite like a girl
now to the /ck/ part too
>as mentioned, full catering, all payed by our parents since we were students back then
>said roommate proves to be the most autistic pickiest eater on earth and almost never goes with us because he wouldn't touch anything outside of what his mother already conformed him, she basically gave in to his eating habits
>he would eat the same thing weekly, every day of the week
cont.

[Anonymous No.9954808]

>>9954797
God damn I hate fatties so fucking much they ruin everything

[Anonymous No.9954852]

>>9951313
We filed separately from the discrimination suit, since she basically evicted us only a few hours into our lease. We won a full refund of first, last and security plus three times that ($3k refund, $9k compensation). His mother had a friend of hers in real estate law to represent us and he also got us a refund of our mover's and storage fees for our stuff (don't remember how much, but another couple hundred dollars) in addition to the $12k. On the discrimination suit, my friend got something out of it but don't remember what/how much and she had to pay a fine to da gubmint.
We also tipped off L&I. They did thorough inspections of many of her rental properties. They couldn't do all of them since, like vampires, L&I are not allowed entry into homes without invitation. Thankfully, the law states that entry can be given by either the landlord OR tenants and when tenants were told that she's not allowed to charge rent for any properties that are in L&I violation, they were happy to let the inspectors have a gander.
So she got L&I fines as well as lost income because she wasn't legally allowed to take rent from nearly a dozen properties until they were re inspected and given the a-okay by L&I. If our $1k/month rent was any indication of how much her other tenants were paying, she lost about $10k in income and I don't know how much in fines for a total of over $22k lost in the course of about four weeks.
When you think about it, she's bringing in over $200k annually from rental property, so this isn't too big of a dent to her. Still, bet she didn't wake up the morning of our cases and think she'd lose 10% of her income over the course of the next 30ish days.

[Anonymous No.9954853]

>>9954498
Not them, but I always strip the manufacturers seasoning (lye works best I find) wash it off and dry it thoroughly, put it in the oven or on a stove in low to make sure it's bone dry. Wipe on a thin layer of flax oil and try to wipe it off again, this should leave a very thin layer. Place in the oven, head to 500 leave for an hour then take off and let cool. Repeat the coating of oil and baking five or six time before using. After that do it every time you use it for another 20 coats or so, you now have a very low maintenance pan.

[Anonymous No.9954896]

>>9954803
>every monday, same dish
>every tuesday, same dish
>you get the idea
>his diet consited of the following
>cold cheese sandwich
>instant cup-soup
>crisps
>ice-tea
>surprisingly some frood
>more cold cheese sandwich and mostly some salty junk food (crisps, crackers)
>sweets and candy of course too

this """"man"""" had the palate of a toddler and the sad thing was that his mum gave in to all of it
some last random facts
>was beyond jealous i got a gf before him (he was a tall skinny lanky, i was fat as fuack)
>don't even think he ever had one by now, let alone being kissed by a girl
>would watch some IT/Graphic tech/Vidya on youtube and find it funny if he finds some programming/graphical mistake
>when he showed you and you couldn't see it or just didn't find others failing he would just look at you and brag again as how superior he is to all this professional programmers and even us since we don't find it funny that humans can make some minor mistakes only Aspies can notices, FUCK
>all the lads were pretty cool with sharing/helping but him FUCK NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW, he always acted full jew on that
>sharing NOPE, borrowing that quick cheeky 5er, HAHAHAHA, nope
>would never go out partying and getting shitfaced with us and some girls since he was "beyond such dumb entertainment", seems like finding broken pixels in video-game LPs sure is more fun

he provided us with some quite interesting expiriences but overall fuck that, the personification of Sheldon Cooper

[Anonymous No.9954961]

>>9947303
Living with parents can be grating, and be perceived as a sign of immaturity nonetheless.

The best is to live with family members of your age group, either siblings or cousins would do.

[Anonymous No.9954972]

>>9953198
but it can't though, it comes from french
nitch is 100% not the right pronunciation

[Anonymous No.9954980]

>>9953373
Yes, that is the implication. He did not buy me a new bottle.

[Anonymous No.9954985]

>>9954980

Why didn't you drink his vodka? Or save the shots? Why throw it out?

[Anonymous No.9954999]

>>9954985
Spite

[Anonymous No.9955246]

>>9954985
>vodka
>>9954999
Yep.

[Anonymous No.9955249]

>things that never happened: the thread

[Anonymous No.9955602]

>>9954852
Damn that is fucking rich anon thanks for sharing dude

[Anonymous No.9955700]

>>9946960
la creatura....

[Anonymous No.9955702]

because of various circumstances i have lived in 5 different places in the last year and a half. i'll share some stories.

>1st place
>2 bedroom apartment
>3 people in each room
This place was pretty good, no problems. there was the usual unwashed dishes or unwashed roommate but the second someone said something it got fixed. The only real complaint was the room mate who would order a large pizza for himself, eat 3 slices, and then throw the rest away. Unfortunately I had to go because all the other roommates left when school ended for the year, and i still was taking classes. I couldn't afford the place without 5 or more roommates. It was easier for me to move than to find people

>2nd place
>1 bedroom, 3 guys in one room
>roommate would get drunk, run out of booze, then drink my booze if i wasn't home
>would apologize and say he would replace it, then would replace it with the cheapest bottom of the barrel crap
>he asked for the apartment to himself on valentines, wanted it till 10:30
>come home at midnight and get yelled at for walking in on him fucking
>worked nights
>he would be loud as fuck during the day, blast him music as loud as possible while i was sleeping
moved out of there a month later cause i finished school

>3rd place
>2 bedroom appartment
>me in one, asian woman/white man couple in the other
>i moved in to fill an empty spot on the lease for a few months
>landlord did not know about me
>guy would lay on the living room couch all day vaping and watching Rick and Morty or twitch streamers
>girl was a nagging bitch who never left her room, would literally scream for her BF to do things for her
>never cooked or cleaned, ordered out almost every night
>didn't work, mom and dad paid for everything

To Be Continued

[Anonymous No.9955742]

>>9947197
>never brushed his teeth ever, he thought it was a conspiracy and had nasty brown gunk in his gums

I call bullshit. I never brush my teeth and the only thing wrong with them is they're crooked and chipped and tiny. And hypersensitive. But spotless.

[Anonymous No.9955783]

Fucking college students. They're disgusting, I live in a dorm and the common room is always absolutely filthy. Weeks old food stuck deep in the freezer, unwashed pots and pans. Wow jeez, I'm sorry your house servant isn't around to wipe your ass too

[Anonymous No.9955791]

>>9955742
>I never brush my teeth
y u do this

[Anonymous No.9955815]

>>9955702
>4th place
>old 3 story house
>about 8 people living there at any one time
>property manager lived on sight
if you don't know a property manager is basically a tenant who is living there semi-permanently and they act as a landlord.
It usually happens when the actual landlord owns a shitload of places and can't personally manage them all.
This guy was basically the de-facto landlord
>almost everyone in the house was a huge stoner
>manager was the worst of all
>they grew their own pot, but were too lazy to care for it so it was shriveled and half dead
>no one cleaned ever
>one person besides me cooked
>hambeast
>she would meal prep 3 different meals for the week
>use every pot and pan in the kitchen
>fill both refrigerators with her food
>leave the dirty pots and pans on the stovetop/in the oven/on the counter and get stoned
>it would stay like this till the weekend where she would clean the entire kitchen just to dirty it again for the next batch
>property manager worked 2nd shift at a restaurant
>would wake up at noon, smoke weed till 2pm, go to work, get home at 11pm smoke weed till 3 am then fall asleep on the couch
>he had a homeless friend who would come over, eat everyone's food, drink all the beer, smoke tons of pot, and sleep on the floor
>would usually stay for a week or two while doing this
>everyone hated the property manager and his weird homeless friends but no one knew the contact information for the actual landlord and the manager wouldn't tell us
>property manager would constantly complain about the mess, but do fuck all about it
>moved out of there because i got a good paying job with the goverment

[Anonymous No.9955821]

>>9955815

>Current place
>3 bedroom house
>3 people
>one room mate is great, cooks, cleans, keeps to himself
>the other is probably literally retarded
>can't cook, can't clean
>lived with his mom for most of his life
>the only reason he is allowed to live here is because the mom is friends with the landlord
>his mom has her own key to our place
>never learned a single life skill
>doesn't know how to drive because his mom won't let him
>goes home every weekend to stay with is mom
>she cooks a bunch of food for him to bring back
>fills our fridge with it
>never eats it, lets it rot
>I have to tell him to clean out the fridge almost every month
>mom buys all his groceries for him
>95% of it is frozen microwaveable stuff
>he takes it all to work and gives it to his co-workers
>once he runs out of food he begs me to have some of mine
>have caught him several times eating my food without permission
>when he does get real food he has no clue how to cook it
>he will ask me to "show him how" meaning i'll cook it and he will pretend to watch
>showed him how to make rice 5 times before i wrote it down and put the instructions of the fridge
>he has only made rice once since then
>will beg me to drive him to fast food restaurants
>talks about getting his own place but never will because it would have to be mommy approved
>his mom is a giant controlling bitch
>will show up at the house unannounced and try and boss everyone around
>finally the other roommate snapped and called the mom out on her shit
>she shows up mush less often now
I have no clue what's going to happen to him when his mom dies. From what i can tell the rest of his family has abandoned him and his mom, cause of how awful she is.

With my current job i can easily afford my own place, but rent is so cheap and this place is so nice (aside from the one guy) that i don't want to move
I have specific stories about the places if anyone wants them

[Anonymous No.9955912]

>>9947191
DON'T LOSE YOUR WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

[Anonymous No.9955913]

>>9955742
You don't have to believe me, why do you think he is not smiling in the pic I posted?

[Anonymous No.9955914]

>>9955821
>Bossing around your sons roommates
I almost feel bad for him, he had the odds stacked against him
Still a faggot though

[Anonymous No.9956009]

>>9950371
yeah just make sure you have a working ac if you live in a hot climate, and get a pair (same gender) if you can

[Anonymous No.9956308]

>>9945976
Sounds inefficient. Why not take turns cooking and doing dishes?

[Anonymous No.9956453]

>>9950642
You are a dumbass. All your roommate had to do was fuck, be nice, and break up via text a few days later because "our personalities don't match" or whatever. Drunk rape is a boogeyman. Girls barely even report real rape.

[Anonymous No.9956554]

>>9953675
spices, whatever

[Anonymous No.9956706]

>>9945783
I dunno man with stuff like this I get the vibe that you're just being a nitpicky little bitch desu. Like you aren't living on your own so you don't make all the rules, it's a combined effort since you're all splitting the bill(in the ideal scenario). Like they literally replaced the spices that were gone because spices usually last a long time and it doesn't make sense to hoard shit like that. Like if you have some really nice olive oil yeah hoard that shit but fucking salt? Fuck off desu. It's the same with dishes, if you have 4 or more people you're gonna have to find a way to split the responsibilities because it's not "you and them" it's "you and each individual other" and theres gonna be some pile-up. You can't just pretend that it's your own place when there like 6 other people living with you.

[Anonymous No.9956715]

>>9956706
>I dunno man with stuff like this I get the vibe that you're just being a nitpicky little bitch desu.
fuck off. you don't take someone else's stuff (from their shelf) without even asking. they didn't replace it, they bought it for themselves and keep it with their stuff

[Anonymous No.9956720]

>>9956715
It's salt. If it anything else, like proper food or cutlery I completely agree but with condiments and spices who gives a shit except nitpicky bitches who refuse to cooperate?

[Anonymous No.9956725]

>>9956715
>>9956720
Like if you made it clear "hey don't use this, buy your own" ok fair enough but otherwise yeah naw it's fucking salt.

[Anonymous No.9956730]

>>9956715
>they didn't replace it, they bought it for themselves and keep it with their stuff
oh shit my bad I didn't read that properly yeah that's bullshit. The way it works here is we just buy "the spices" and keep it all on the same shelf so the idea that anyone would be mad was weird to me. If you actually have your own "space" for that shit yeah that's kinda bullshit my bad

[Anonymous No.9956767]

>>9956720
>It's salt.
It's fancy salt. And I don't use any of their shit.

>refuse to cooperate
we don't run a company, we just happen to live in the same flat you know.

[Anonymous No.9957095]

I've never had to share a kitchen with someone, but my first apartment had shared bathrooms. When it was 3 guys living there it was cool, but as soon as one of he guys moved out and a girl moved in, the shower ALWAYS clogged up and I know it was because of her since she had a shaver on her bathroom shelf. She also managed to short-circuit the electricity in the entrie building every time she used her tea water boiler.

[Anonymous No.9957170]

i lived with a fucking Azerbaijani caveman for 1 year.
from the hallway outside entrance to his room there be 2 doors, he slammed each twice, always
i still dont get it
fries everything, and since for whatever reason max heat is too much and makes the oil bubble up and erupt from the pan he put a larger than the diameter of the pan lid on top, so that the oil can slide down to just outside the hot plates
could go on about him, but im getting flashbacks, cleaned like twice for the whole year, not that it mattered
shit became a fire hazard soon's one frying sesh is over
last faggot was a fucking fire hazard, too. leaving empty hotplates after heating his coal for hookah, one kitchen fire too, im too fucking tired of living with fucking cave people.
explained how it's nnot really fried meat if it's only done one
[internal screaming for days]

[Anonymous No.9957172]

>>9957170
black mold on these things

[Anonymous No.9957404]

>>9950431

women are fucking gross to live with
do
not
do it

[Anonymous No.9957489]

>>9957404
as someone who lives in a family of mostly women and have lived or stayed with most of them for an extended period of time, this anon is %100 correct. do. not. do. it.

[Anonymous No.9957625]

>>9951326
Bad idea. We have a plate each. Everyone had to clean their own plate and cup in the sink. Easy and not wasteful.

[Anonymous No.9957639]

>>9952321
Sounds like he has major OCD
My dad got paranoia skitzophrenia and yeah it started with "why's this here" "why are there crumbs on the table" "the house is a mess" "no one does anything around the house" "who left this here". Though he said these things because he thought people were doing this to him deliberately and that there was a reason this was happening. Like when a pen would be left out he'd examine it to make sure there was no camera recording him.
Your dad just sounds like he's got a major OCD disorder.

[Anonymous No.9957649]

>>9952278
Did he ever bring home any girls. Lol

[Anonymous No.9957667]

>>9954667
>Cooks everything in inches of oil in the oven, claims it's healthier than frying. It's fucking shallow frying

I tell my boyfriend over and over again that this is literally what he's doing and its stil going to be just as fatty as if you were to just fry it in a pan. And it would also be a lot shorter but he just will not listen to me. ARGH it aggrivates me.

[Anonymous No.9957801]

>>9957667
cuck him, that will teach him lol