/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9746501]

I'm having a hard time following these recipes tbqhwy.

[Anonymous No.9746506]

[Anonymous No.9746511]

[Anonymous No.9746514]

[Anonymous No.9746541]

>>9746501
It's one of those "it's not shitty I'm ignorant and obnoxious on purpose because it's ironic" kind of nuBooks, right?

[Anonymous No.9746678]

Making fun of grade schoolers isn't nice OP

[Anonymous No.9746699]

>>9746501
we made cookbooks like this for school when i was a kid and it was great fun, but i feel like now you couldn't because some dipshit would actually do one of them and burn his house down and the family and school would be sued into oblivion

[Anonymous No.9746704]

>>9746541
A kid clearly made it.

[Anonymous No.9746773]

>>9746511
Allison sure loves some salty cookies.

[Anonymous No.9746841]

There are two countries in the world:
1. Countries using the metric system
2. Countries that lost the war to vietnamese farmers

[Anonymous No.9746858]

>>9746841
we didn't lose, we just withdrew

[Anonymous No.9746867]

>>9746514
>18 minutes of flour

Spotted the retarded kid.

[Anonymous No.9746877]

>>9746867
Read the rest of that recipe. That kid isn't retarded, he clearly just thought he was fucking hilarious for writing a recipe about being a fat little niglet who hates vegetables.

[Anonymous No.9746882]

>>9746841
France also lost a war to Vietnamese farmers though.

[Anonymous No.9746887]

It's a recipe book from a teacher who asked kindergardeners for recipes and wrote then down verbatim. OP probably read it on pinterest or some gay shit

[Anonymous No.9746898]

please post more, I'm in fucking stitche over here

[Anonymous No.9747066]

>>9746514
>18 minutes of flour

[Anonymous No.9747621]

>>9746501
>tbqhwy
these acronyms are getting longer and more convoluted every fucking day. Just spell out what you want to say you fucking colossal troglodyte. My jimmies: rustled.

[Anonymous No.9747640]

>>9747621
lmaoasmhaytbph

[Anonymous No.9747667]

>>9746506
>10 handfuls of seasonings
that sounds very expensive and unnecessary, Carson. what the fuck

[Anonymous No.9747672]

>>9746501
please post more of this amazing book

[Anonymous No.9747678]

We made a recipe book in elementary school for fun, too. Everyone else had nice recipes that their parents clearly helped them with and my recipe was Goldfish cereal.

Step 1: pour goldfish crackers into a bowl
Step 2: pour milk into bowl
Step 3: enjoy

I didn't even try it until the book was finished and everyone got a copy. It was gross.

[Anonymous No.9747685]

>>9746841
When did Burma fight Vietnam?

[Anonymous No.9747689]

>>9747678
>couldn't even follow step 3 of his own recipe

[Anonymous No.9747693]

>>9747678
This shit right here. This is what makes me sad.

[Anonymous No.9747704]

>>9746841
>there are 2 countries in the world
Oh shit what happened to the other 196

[Anonymous No.9747712]

>>9747704
they were eliminated by the crossfire like all fence-sitters

[Anonymous No.9747894]

This reminds me of that chick that tried to train a neural network AI to write recipes based on 30,000 inputs.

Pears Or To Garnestmeam

meats

¼ lb bones or fresh bread; optional
½ cup flour
1 teaspoon vinegar
¼ teaspoon lime juice
2 eggs

Brown salmon in oil. Add creamed meat and another deep mixture.

Discard filets. Discard head and turn into a nonstick spice. Pour 4 eggs onto clean a thin fat to sink halves.

Brush each with roast and refrigerate. Lay tart in deep baking dish in chipec sweet body; cut oof with crosswise and onions. Remove peas and place in a 4-dgg serving. Cover lightly with plastic wrap. Chill in refrigerator until casseroles are tender and ridges done. Serve immediately in sugar may be added 2 handles overginger or with boiling water until very cracker pudding is hot.

Yield: 4 servings

[Anonymous No.9747898]

Another AI recipe

Immediately Cares, Heavy Mim

upe, chips

3 dill loasted substetcant
1 cubed chopped whipped cream
3 unpreased, stock; prepared; in season
1 oil
3 cup milk
1 ½ cup mOyzanel chopped
½ teaspoon lemon juice
1 ¼ teaspoon chili powder
2 tablespoon dijon stem – minced
30 dates afrester beater remaining

Bake until juice. Brush from the potato sauce: Lightly butter into the viscin. Cook combine water. Source: 0 25 seconds; transfer a madiun in orenge cinnamon with electres if the based, make drained off tala whili; or chicken to well. Sprinkle over skin greased with a boiling bowl. Toast the bread spritkries.

Yield: 6 servings

[Anonymous No.9747907]

My favorite one was when she added in the complete works of H.P. Lovecraft to the inputs for the recipe AI

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 32 minutes. Test corners to see if done, as center will seem like the next horror of Second House.

Whip ½ pint of heavy cream. Add 4 Tbsp. brandy or rum to possibly open things that will never be wholly reported.

Cook over a hot grill, or over glowing remains of tunnel mouth.

With blender on high speed, add ice cubes, one at a time, making certain each cube is the end.

Dice the pulp of the eggplant and put it in a bowl with the vast stark rocks.

NOTE: As this is a tart rather than a cheesecake, you should be disturbed.

This may be one of the most exceptional souffles you’ll ever serve. The beet color spreads upward from the noisome Great Ones.

Coat apple slices with strange things.

NOTE: If chocolate sauce is not completely smooth, we became the state of the mad and discovered more desperate tracks and merciful sky.

Cook over medium heat until thickened and bubbly. Spoon over bizarre eyes.

Source: Bon Appetit - June 1991 Typed for you by the ancient Alert and Brattleboro and the Walter Sabbath of Inquanok - and the final monoliths of the Essecian Head.

[Anonymous No.9747946]

Here's some more AI stuff without the Lovecraft.

¼ cup white seeds
1 cup mixture
1 teaspoon juice
1 chunks
¼ lb fresh surface
¼ teaspoon brown leaves
½ cup with no noodles
1 round meat in bowl

Here's it's attempt at coming up with recipe ideas with creativity enhanced.

Beef Soup With Swamp Peef And Cheese
Chocolate Chops & Chocolate Chips
Crimm Grunk Garlic Cleas
Beasy Mist
Export Bean Spoons In Pie-Shell, Top If Spoon and Whip The Mustard
Chocolate Pickle Sauce
Whole Chicken Cookies
Salmon Beef Style Chicken Bottom
Star *
Cover Meats
Out Of Meat
Completely Meat Circle
Completely Meat Chocolate Pie
Cabbage Pot Cookies
Artichoke Gelatin Dogs
Crockpot Cold Water

[Anonymous No.9747950]

>>9746506
>5 lettuces
Bella must be a guinea pig or something.

[Anonymous No.9747980]

>>9746511
Bentley should stick to cars as he’s a terrible cook.

[Anonymous No.9747986]

>>9747950
She doesn’t eat a lot after being bit by Edward.

[Anonymous No.9748359]

Here's some more

[Anonymous No.9748363]

[Anonymous No.9748366]

[Anonymous No.9748598]

>>9746506
harper sounds like a future trump voter

[Anonymous No.9748734]

>>9748366
My milk scoop is in the shop

[Anonymous No.9748956]

>>9746541
Do you have Asperger's for real?

[Anonymous No.9748968]

>>9748598
you sound like a bug chasing faggot.

[Anonymous No.9748982]

I hope these kids are no older than 7.

[Anonymous No.9749028]

>>9747704
They got Democracy brought into their shitty lives.

[Anonymous No.9749429]

>>9748968
Triggered.

[Anonymous No.9749528]

Now someone post the one some Anon made for his brother
I think it had "if you put x in it that means the bullies are right"

[Anonymous No.9749846]

>>9746511
>2 breads

[Anonymous No.9749864]

These look like a kid made them for school. In fact I think exactly what it is. Relaaaaaaax

[Anonymous No.9749871]

garlic - stinky wewwww stinky like your bully!

[Anonymous No.9749879]

>>9746511
>put it in the the over at 5 degrees for 1 minute.

I kek'd

[Anonymous No.9749886]

>>9746514
Layla's a /fit/izen

[Anonymous No.9749894]

>>9748363
4 cups of cinnamon, holy shit

[Anonymous No.9749903]

Marcus's Sweet Potatoes (no actual sweet potatoes). Too funny.

[Anonymous No.9749923]

this my favorite thread of 2017

[Anonymous No.9749944]

>>9748363
What kind of super oven cooks a whole turkey in 9 minutes?

[Anonymous No.9749987]

>>9746514
>Jayden's Carrots
>Cook them on the stove for 100 minutes.
>No one is going to eat them. No one likes carrots. We want mac and cheese!

[Anonymous No.9749994]

>>9747907
Cooking with Cecil Baldwin.

[Anonymous No.9750044]

Have to say my first instinct was not that a child wrote it.

[Anonymous No.9750048]

>>9746511
Ragen sounds like a fatty

[Anonymous No.9750425]

>>9746506
>Kinda dangerous and kinda yucky!

[Anonymous No.9750521]

>>9746501

wheres the pdf? need new recipes

[Anonymous No.9750586]

>>9749886
SS+GOMAD is good at all ages.

[Anonymous No.9750817]

>>9747907
Kek

[Anonymous No.9750828]

>>9749528
Just for you bud

[Anonymous No.9751116]

>>9750828
>but don't go inside
kek, fucking classic

[Anonymous No.9751343]

>>9747946

Unrelated but I just saw the AI attempting to come up with names for paint colors. Some are pretty funny

[Anonymous No.9751365]

>>9746506
>20 corns
>33 regular seeds

[Anonymous No.9751370]

>>9746541
a bunch of kindergartners are asked to write these
as in kids aged 5-6

[Anonymous No.9751461]

>>9748366
>smash all the apples

[Anonymous No.9752238]

>>9751343
I had a pretty good chuckle at stanky bean.

[Anonymous No.9752308]

>>9746506
>tfw Carson’s Turkey sounds better than the one your mom made for thanksgiving

[Anonymous No.9753970]

[Anonymous No.9754017]

>>9746514
Based Jaden

[Anonymous No.9754045]

>>9746841
>Australia
Tfw you're both

[Anonymous No.9754053]

>>9752238
Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.9754630]

>>9746882
So did Japan, China, Cambodia, Laos, Australia, Thailand, New Zealand, South Korea,

[Anonymous No.9754660]

>>9753970
Okay Dalton actually is retarded

[Anonymous No.9754723]

>>9746506
"Just eat it!"

[Anonymous No.9754731]

>>9746506
>We could heat it up if it is cold
>4 mins

[Anonymous No.9754741]

>>9747907
>NOTE: As this is a tart rather than a cheesecake, you should be disturbed.

[Anonymous No.9754744]

>>9748363
Landon is a better cook than 99% of this board.

[Anonymous No.9754754]

>>9747946
Most of those just sound English

[Anonymous No.9754858]

>>9748363
Landons stuffing is intriguing

[Anonymous No.9754868]

>>9749903
its a vegan recipe

[Anonymous No.9754869]

>>9746514
>'grees
oh fuck

[Anonymous No.9754888]

>>9746514
>No one is going to eat them. No one likes carrots.

[Anonymous No.9754895]

>>9752308
>50 degrees
>5 hours
yikes, I feel sorry for your mother if that's better than her cooking

[Anonymous No.9754898]

>>9753970
>garlic grease
Dawson is on another level

[Anonymous No.9754901]

>>9748366
>10 chocolate chips
>4 sugars
>My mom doesn't let me use anything else
what a bitch mom

[Anonymous No.9754919]

>>9746511
>2 spoons of pepper
>5 plates of salt

[Anonymous No.9754926]

this was a good thread to close out the year

[Anonymous No.9755173]

>>9748363
>Marcus' Sweet Potatoes
>It's just squash and sugar with a scoop of milk

thanks Marcus, for reminding me what it is like to laugh

[Anonymous No.9755287]

>>9747946
>Completely Meat Chocolate Pie

can't breathe

[Anonymous No.9755466]

isn't it mean-spirited to get kids to write this stuff up just so you can laugh at them behind their backs?

[Anonymous No.9755608]

>>9746514
Jayden my man.

[Anonymous No.9756371]

>>9746858

>I didn't lose, I just ran away crying!

[Anonymous No.9756433]

>>9746858
LOSING THE WILL TO FIGHT = LOSING YOU COLOSSAL AMERITURD

[Anonymous No.9756560]

>>9756433
>>9756371
b-but america number one

[Anonymous No.9756754]

>>9748363
>>9746514
>>9746511
>>9753970
>Presleigh
>Tynzlie
>Jayden
>Brantley
>Jaelyn
>Wayden
>Ragen
>Bentley
>Dalton
Is this what poor people name their kids now?

[Anonymous No.9756770]

>>9756754
What would you name your kid, faggot? Josh?

[Anonymous No.9756784]

>>9747621
IKTFBNCHAGMAH

[Anonymous No.9756818]

>>9756754
I think these are WASP names

[Anonymous No.9756845]

>>9756818
Most of them are, though Tynzlie is definitely black

[Anonymous No.9756861]

>>9747621
If you couldn't decipher tbqhwy you might actually be brain dead.

[Anonymous No.9756863]

>>9747894
If you're talking about what I think you're talking about, it's a half art half comedy project she does to show the limitations of AI. She also has paint colors and DnD spells. Former is pic related, some of the good ones from the latter are:
Hold Mouse
Gland Growth
Wrathful Hound
Grove of Plants
Conjure Velemert
Vicious Markers

If you want to see an AI that was actually set up to make recipes: https://www.ibmchefwatson.com/community

[Anonymous No.9756884]

>>9756863
lol read the rest of the thread after posting this, sorry >>9751343