/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9736391]

/ck/ help

I fucked up and I got 3 kg of italian proscuitto instead of the usual fat ham for thanksgiving. Is there still anyway I can make this honey glazed like people usually do for thanksgiving? Im thinking of baking it and serving thick slabs like people eat at breakfast(usually this ham is cut very thin), but Im sure the cooking time and preparation would be a lot different than the normal recipes

yes, Im retarded, I know

[Anonymous No.9736393]

>>9736391
way too powerful for that, I'm pretty sure

[Anonymous No.9736397]

>>9736391
Wasn't this incredibly expensive? Just serve it like prosciutto is supposed to be and play it off like you wanted to do something really fancy

[Anonymous No.9736399]

>>9736391
Maybe a butterfly cut with some brown sugar, a bit of honey and regular seasoning. Could work but I've never tried it.

[Anonymous No.9736402]

>>9736391
For the love of god please do not ruin a beautiful prosciutto with your brutish american cooking.

Would you microwave a kobe-beef? Would you mix Champagne and koolaid? Jesus Christ

[Anonymous No.9736405]

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*

So I just bought a shitload of salty ham for Thanksgiving. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation...

[Anonymous No.9736407]

>>9736402
I legit would mix champagne with kool aid.

[Anonymous No.9736411]

>>9736391
how the fuck did you buy a gigantic chunk of prosciutto without noticing
>>9736402
this, just save it and use it as it is intended, go back and buy a proper ham if you have to

[Anonymous No.9736417]

>>9736407
that makes you retarded, congratulations

[Anonymous No.9736420]

>>9736407
when you say champagne do you actually mean any sparkling white wine that is incorrectly called champagne? real champagne is pretty expensive and wasteful to just use in a little experiment like that

[Anonymous No.9736424]

>>9736397

$55

>>9736411

I paniced when they were showing it to me. I dont usually cook

[Anonymous No.9736429]

>>9736424
>I dont usually cook
why are you in charge of a holiday dinner then? I don't mean to make you nervous but that seems pretty strange

[Anonymous No.9736437]

>>9736429

Im only making one dish, the ham. I figured since its just putting on the glaze and baking, it wouldnt be too difficult

[Anonymous No.9736441]

>>9736424
This is precious but you can still fix this by buying a normal ham. Return the prosciutto if you want or keep it and enjoy tasty charcuterie for months.

[Anonymous No.9736442]

>>9736437
you havent even got to the cooking and you've already messed up
just bring a pie or something

[Anonymous No.9736446]

>>9736424
Buy some good soft smoked cheese, find very good tomatoes, and somehow learn to bake great focaccia.
Italian sandwiches all day
>the tip is to find very sweet tomatoes, if they are too acidic they will suck

[Anonymous No.9736454]

keep the prosciutto for yourself, don't waste it on your relatives. Just go get a 2nd ham and cook it like normal. No matter what you'll fuck up the prosciutto anyway, just freeze it until you get a slicer or something.

[Anonymous No.9736833]

>>9736424
55 for 3 kg of prosciutto is too low. must be fake american shit

[Anonymous No.9736855]

>>9736402
This, don't fuck up perfectly good meat because LMAO THANKSGIVIINGING!!@!@!@!@ GOTTA MAKE IT ALL PUMPKIN AND HONEY AND TURKEY LMAFOFAO

[Anonymous No.9736859]

>>9736424
>keep proscuitto for yourself
>buy shitty ham to serve to family.

[Anonymous No.9736862]

>>9736833
yeah this literally probably plastic like what amerigay's make cheese from of

[Anonymous No.9736873]

>>9736437
the prosciutto has been already prepared on its own
cooking or glazing it will totally fuck it up and you'll end up feeling even more retarded
just leave it and get another ham

[Anonymous No.9736885]

>>9736855
>the constant shitposting this time of year by assmad defectives that are outcast from their family for being shit
Love it desu.

[Anonymous No.9736891]

>>9736885
>Projecting this hard

[Anonymous No.9736892]

>>9736885
>the constant shitposting each time of year from cucks who buy prosciutto for their families and then instagram blog it on fortune

[Anonymous No.9736984]

>>9736891
>get your typical boring ass millenial life explained to you
>y-you're p-p-p-projecting
pottery.

[Anonymous No.9736985]

>>9736391
>Amerilard
>Using metric measurements
I'm not saying you're making this up, but you're making this up

[Anonymous No.9736992]

>>9736833
>>9736862
Why do 3rd worlders think about America so much?

[Anonymous No.9736997]

>>9736984
>get your typical boring ass millenial life explained to you
Nigga I don't even do anything for thanksgiving, my family is literal crackheads

[Anonymous No.9737000]

>>9736891
>the absolute state of this anon

[Anonymous No.9737007]

>>9736985
>the yuro is confronted with someone with the freedom and intelligence to use multiple measurement systems
>this enrages and confuses the yuropoor

[Anonymous No.9737036]

>>9737007
>intelligence to use multiple measurement systems
>Buys an amerilard injected and tumbled fake "prosciutto" for $55 retard bucks and decides to honey bake it like a typical amerilard injected and tumbled "ham" that costs $25.
>intelligent

Golden americuck pottery

[Anonymous No.9737040]

>>9737036
>$55 retard bucks

[Anonymous No.9737049]

>>9737036
>shifting the argument to typical yuro ree-ing about american food when he realizes his measurement system argument is retarded
hmm

[Anonymous No.9737062]

>>9737007
>>9737049
>intelligence to use multiple measurement systems
>posts solar system picture
Remind me which country lost a spacecraft because they couldn't convert correctly between imperial and metric units?

[Anonymous No.9737065]

>>9737062
>continues moving goalposts

[Anonymous No.9737066]

>>9737062
Remind me which country landed on the moon 6 times using the Imperial system.

[Anonymous No.9737067]

>>9737065
Did we move them in inches or cm?

[Anonymous No.9737069]

>>9737062
Pls relax dude

[Anonymous No.9737071]

>>9737067
Since 4chan is hosted in America, we have the freedom to choose which.

[Anonymous No.9737072]

>>9737066
>He believes the moon landings were real

[Anonymous No.9737076]

>>9737072
>>>/x/

[Anonymous No.9737078]

>>9737071
>we have the freedom to choose the incorrect type of ham
FTFY

[Anonymous No.9737085]

>>9737078
You are one bitter cunt mate

[Anonymous No.9737098]

>>9736391
if you're serious, go back and buy a proper ham. Take a picture of it along with the prosciutto, the receipt for the ham, and a PayPal address, and I'll reimburse you up to 55 USD. There is no way in hell I'm letting your faggotry ruin your family's Thanksgiving. Next time, consider reading about the thing you're buying before buying it. I'd also appreciate if you explained to your family how stupid you are so they know to never trust you with anything important again, but that's not a requirement.

[Anonymous No.9737099]

>>9737085
Hey, I'm thankful for my bitterness (and also my ability to choose the appropriate type of ham)

[Anonymous No.9737101]

>>9737066
With Rocket science imported from Germany, using rockets designed by German scientists. Now you are using Russian space capsules to get into the ISS.

[Anonymous No.9737114]

>>9737101
Germans are the largest ethnicity in America. We're an immigrant nation, and our accomplishments are the accomplishments of people who came here.

[Anonymous No.9737119]

>>9737114
>our accomplishments are the accomplishments of people who came here.
Americans: Not being able to achieve things without outsiders telling them how since 1776

[Anonymous No.9737121]

>>9737119
You seem confused about the history of America.

[Anonymous No.9737124]

>>9737067
>hmm should we move it in lengths of a man's foot, or in ten-millionths of the distance between the north pole and the equator?
the absolute STATE of metric fanboys.

[Anonymous No.9737126]

>>9737121
Why are u even bothering he just wants attention

[Anonymous No.9737132]

>>9737121
You're right, I better go read up on that great victory you achieved against 3rd world rice farmers

>>9737126
>he just wants attention
>Implying I'm American

[Anonymous No.9737133]

>>9736391
>3 kg
>thanksgiving

Yes, you are retarded. There is no thanksgiving outside of America.

[Anonymous No.9737136]

>>9737132
Lend-lease saved Europe.

[Anonymous No.9737139]

>>9737136
>(((((Lend-Lease)))))

[Anonymous No.9737141]

>>9736391
Wtf that would cost like $100 at publix

[Anonymous No.9737145]

>>9737139
You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.9737148]

>>9737066

nasa has used the metric system since 1990...

woops

[Anonymous No.9737151]

>>9737145
>Implying Hitler did anything wrong

[Anonymous No.9737153]

>>9736833
>implying you would even know what prosciutto is if American hadn’t culturally appropriated it

[Anonymous No.9737155]

>>9737148
And we haven't been to the moon since 1972.

[Anonymous No.9737160]

>>9737151
>yuropoor
>authoritarian
Makes sense.

[Anonymous No.9737164]

>>9737160
>Amerilard
>soy-boy
makes sense

[Anonymous No.9737166]

>>9737155

And yet a mix of both imperial and metric was used in those lands?

And yet they started phasing out imperial since the 1980s and majority use metric since the 1990s.

Kinda shows which system is better

[Anonymous No.9737171]

>>9737166
>haven't been back to the moon since

really made me think

[Anonymous No.9737178]

>>9737164
I don't eat soy.

[Anonymous No.9737179]

>>9737171
The answer's obvious: Amerilards are lazy, and there wasn't a McDonalds there

[Anonymous No.9737183]

>>9737178
Sure thing pal

[Anonymous No.9737185]

>>9737171

>implying there hasnt been any more moon landings because nasa switched to metric and not due to cost/benefit analysis.

what a retard

[Anonymous No.9737193]

>>9737179

kek

[Anonymous No.9737213]

>>9736833
not true, at least not in mainland europe. it may not be the best there is but you can get some pretty decent prosciutto for that price

[Anonymous No.9737217]

>>9736992
>>9737007
>>9737049
>>9737065
>>9737066
>>9737069
>>9737071
>>9737076
>>9737085
>>9737114
>>9737121
>>9737124
>>9737126
>>9737136
>>9737145
>>9737155
>>9737160
>>9737171
>>9737178
>REEEEEing this hard because they can't correctly identify the correct type of ham to ruin with their "cooking"
The absolute state of 'Murica

[Anonymous No.9737220]

>>9737217
I'm not OP.

[Anonymous No.9737226]

>>9736424
you are in the unfortunate situation of having 3kg of bad quality italian dried ham, for that price it must be super mediocre. so basically there is no good use for it on thanksgiving, if it tastes alright eat as much as you can and gift the rest or make a large amount of baconbroth and freeze it

[Anonymous No.9737249]

>>9736391
do NOT bake it, it's going to turn to leather and it will also stay too salty. if you really want to go ahead with cooking it then do the following:

cut it into 1 kg chunks and boil them individually in a large pot of water for about 2 hours. change the water halfway through. this will reduce the saltiness and soften the meat. what you should end up with is something like a brisket that you can serve in thin slices. add a sauce of horseradish + sour cream + grated apples as a side and some good bread.

[Anonymous No.9737280]

>>9736391
Use it to do sandwiches with no mayo

[Anonymous No.9737300]

>3kg prosciutto crudo
>55 memerican dollars
just throw it away or let the garbage raccoons eat it
I refuse to believe it‘s safe for human consumption

btw is autism mandatory in
the states now or how do „mistakes“ like that happen? shake my head family

[Anonymous No.9737303]

>>9736391
just boil the flavor out, a couple hours in a pressure cooker should do it, then it will taste like American ham

[Anonymous No.9737522]

>>9737249
This is decent advice.

[Anonymous No.9737529]

>>9737300
>Meat is super expensive because I live in yuroland, there's no way it could cost less somewhere else

[Anonymous No.9737783]

>>9736441
>returning meat to the store
Do Euroslimes really do this?

[Anonymous No.9737794]

>>9737300
>„mistakes“

You dirtmongers don't actually write like this in your goatfucker language, do you?

[Anonymous No.9737836]

>>9737783
Idk, but I know amerifats do return meat.

>be at Sam's on Monday morning to return a piece of electronic eqpt. that didn't work.
>2 fagfuck carnies with carts full of rolls of ground beef and hotdogs that they bought on Friday for an event that got rained out where you can be guaranteed they kept it in their garage or travel trailer
>the clerks dutifully accept and scan all that meat for a refund
>stocker paged to pick up and restock shelves

Tread very carefully in meat aisles if you're amerifat.

[Anonymous No.9737871]

>>9736391
>being this fucking retarded
OP just serve them proscuitto, I can guarantee they'll love it more than shitty fat ham that they usually eat. Besides you're basically wasting high quality meat (in comparison to ham) by turning it into ham.
>>9736424
>55$
guaranteed if you're American that it's not that high of quality. You can either keep it to eat yourself or just pass it off to the family and hope they've never had good prosciutto.

[Anonymous No.9737882]

>>9737217
I'm not American you mong you're just a cunt

[Anonymous No.9737916]

>>9737794
It's how most germans use quotation marks, I'm sure some other fruity country does it too.

[Anonymous No.9737918]

get some melon and make it a side dish. delicious as fuck.

[Anonymous No.9737937]

Oh my fucking lord.

[Anonymous No.9738938]

>>9737098
not replying to this post is proof you're a shill

[Anonymous No.9738962]

>>9737918
this

[Anonymous No.9739003]

>>9738938
>go spend even more money first, and trust a random anon to reimburse you
>i don't know what shill means but if you don't trust a random anon you are obviously one

Retard

[Anonymous No.9739008]

>>9736391
Sounds like a waste. Just use it in some kind of stuffed chicken dish.

[Anonymous No.9739173]

>>9737836
>Tread very carefully in meat aisles if you're amerifat.
Especially as someone might have sharted there

[Anonymous No.9740726]

>>9736391
>fucked up
WRONG
just buy a couple pounds of grana, some brie wheels, you'll be great

[Anonymous No.9740736]

>>9736429
>wow someone who doesn't usually cook is cooking how did that happen it is almost like people have new experiences all the time haha dont mean to make you nervous or anything

>>9736424
learn to stand up for yourself- you paid a 55 dollar bill to be polite. let that sink in.

as for the solution- french bread and lots of brie

[Anonymous No.9740749]

>>9740736
>wow someone who doesn't usually cook is cooking how did that happen it is almost like people have new experiences all the time haha dont mean to make you nervous or anything
if someone starts cooking it's usually best to not start out with such a high profile event.

[Anonymous No.9740790]

>>9736391

Ever cooked a thin slice of prosciutto? It would basically become a salt lick. How the fuck did you fuck up so royally anyway? Prosciutto is way more expensive than regular ham.

[Anonymous No.9740806]

>>9736424
>I paniced when they were showing it to me.

[Anonymous No.9740855]

>>9736424
Serve it with melon

[Anonymous No.9742397]

>>9740736
>55 dollar bill

[Anonymous No.9742420]

>>9742397
Do you know what a bill is?

[Anonymous No.9742520]

Sent to the store to buy a holiday ham and leave with a $55 chunk of expensive lunch meat. Literally Kys

Be prepared for your family to disown you. Even though this is better ham you don't cook it and you fucked up the whole meal ruining everyones holiday because you 'Panicked' again kys

[Anonymous No.9742744]

>>9740806
OP is obviously a silly robot who stepped outside his comfort zone basement.

[Anonymous No.9743472]

>>9736402
settle down wop

[Anonymous No.9743801]

>>9736391
Buy some mozzarella. Buy some fresh baked bread from a neaby deli. Lay out (thin) slices of everything. Watch as everybody devours it all because it's simple and tasty as fuck.