/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9718268]

>i dumped the spaghetti into the trash instead of the strainer again
FUCK

[Anonymous No.9718270]

>>9718268
Did you shout "LOOOK" after?

[Anonymous No.9718276]

>>9718268
>im actually retarded
We know.

[Anonymous No.9718294]

>Get to my table at a restaurant
>Loosen the salt-shaker lid to prank the people who use it after me
>Wait a while to order and to get my food
>Tastes like it needs some salt
>Mindlessly grab the shaker that I loosened half-an-hour earlier...

FUCK!

[Anonymous No.9718297]

>>9718294
You deserve it.

[Anonymous No.9718301]

>>9718294
this happens to everyone so dont feel bad

[Anonymous No.9718311]

>tfw you strain out the pasta instead of the water again

[Anonymous No.9718315]

>>9718294
Yesterday, I was at a restaurant that had bottles of hot sauce on the tables. I grabbed one and started shaking it without checking the nozzle, and it was open, so I covered myself and the floor with hot sauce. Was a fucking good meal, I'll be going back to that place again soon.

[Anonymous No.9718363]

>empty your liquids into the trash instead of sink
happens way to often

[Anonymous No.9718492]

>>9718294
go fuck yourself

[Anonymous No.9718506]

>put toast in the frying pan
>put eggs in the toaster
Fuck everything

[Anonymous No.9718509]

>put big block of tofu in pot, fill with boiled salt water to dry out
>once it’s done try to carefully drain water out of bowel, all strainers dirty as fuck and I’m diagnosed OCDfag and lazy
>the fucking thing flops out and lands in the sink with a loud smack
>just walk away and leave it there until next morning

[Anonymous No.9718523]

>Scooping persimmon pulp into bowl, with another bowl for garbage.
>Get stick blender to puree pulp.
>Notice something floating around that won't puree.
>Absent mindedly put a hollowed out persimmon shell into my pulp bowl and now it looks like a graboid exploded in my bowl.

[Anonymous No.9718534]

>have bowl ready with ramen and spice mix
>pour milk into it

[Anonymous No.9718535]

>Finish pooing
>Go to wash up in the sink
>More shit than I expected leftover on my ass
>Clogs the sink
>Turn up the heat on the sink but it doesn't work
>Use my hands to mush poo down the sink in scalding hot water

[Anonymous No.9718555]

>>9718506
>breaking eggs into bowl
>go to toss shell in trash can
>didn't move can
>egg shell splatters all over the floor
>clean it up, get back to what I was doing
>for some reason break egg into trash can without thinking
>stare at trash can
>try to remember getting drunk or high before starting, can't, feel otherwise normal
>stand there, considering whether or not I'm retarded for a while

[Anonymous No.9719956]

Poured pasta into the sauce right out of the pot with all the water the other day.

[Anonymous No.9719968]

>>9718535
Why are you washing your ass in a sink bruv?

[Anonymous No.9719970]

>>9718534
Nice frog.

[Anonymous No.9719975]

Once when I was 13 I was holding a pill bottle and a glass, turned on the water, and filled the pill bottle with water. Ruined all the pills.
Best I've got.

[Anonymous No.9719979]

Smells like Reddit in here. fuck you all

[Anonymous No.9720393]

>>9719970
>>9719979
>Don't have anything to contribute because you're a legitimate mouthbreather
>shitpost about the thread being reddit instead

kill you are selfs

[Anonymous No.9720483]

>Grinding meat for some sausage
>chunk of meat gets stuck at the base of the feeder tube on top of the grinding screw
>stick a wooden chopstick in to dislodge it
>make sausage patties and bite into one and get a mouthful of splinters
>look at chopstick and see an inch of it was ripped off and ground into the meat

FUCK

[Anonymous No.9720510]

>>9718509
>diagnosed OCD
>all my dishes are dirty
No, youre just a dumb sperg with special-snowflake disease.

[Anonymous No.9720518]

>>9719970
>saved a thumbnail
>calls others new

like clockwork.

[Anonymous No.9720530]

>>9720510
not all OCD is the same, dumbass

[Anonymous No.9720543]

>>9720530
Yeah, some of it is the made up bullshit kind

[Anonymous No.9720550]

>>9720510
compulsions are not inherently tied to cleaning things retard

[Anonymous No.9720555]

>>9718268
But in the mirror he looks calm and ready to drop spaghetti

[Anonymous No.9720565]

>>9720483
>not making the worst possible decisions
you could have lost a finger.

[Anonymous No.9720576]

>>9720530
>>9720550
>being a special-snow flake same-fagging triggered millennial victim of over-protective parents
>not lurking until you're 18

I sure hope you dont do this

[Anonymous No.9720590]

>>9720576
Nice, now that you're 18 why don't you fuck off and go learn some shit, considering that you don't know anything right now and clearly think you do. That's not how OCD works, little babby.

[Anonymous No.9720616]

>>9720590
>wahh I have a special kind of mental disorder that makes me an obsessive freak, a lazy slob, and also butthurt little bitch

gee, I guess you sure showed me

[Anonymous No.9720855]

>>9719968
So that toiler paper scraps don't get stuck in and around my asshole.

[Anonymous No.9720886]

>>9720576
>Thanks to a group of loud people, mental health and disorders have been trivialized
Thanks Tumblr.

[Anonymous No.9721014]

>accidentally cook spaghetti for over an hour
>it's all mushy
>smash it into a cream and eat it with a spoon

[Anonymous No.9721056]

>>9718268
>rolls starting to burn
>grab tray straight out of oven
>accidentally drop a shrimp into boiling pasta water
>reach in to grab it out
>grease splashes down side of pan
>quickly wipe it off before it gets stuck to the bottom

[Anonymous No.9721101]

>>9718535
Shit in shower. Stomp down drain.

[Anonymous No.9721128]

>making breakfast
>pour juice in cereal bowl instead of glass

[Anonymous No.9721136]

>>9721128
>acting like juice and cereal is something bad

[Anonymous No.9721140]

>boil water for Kraft Mac & Cheese
>pour entire box into water including sauce packet

[Anonymous No.9721145]

>>9721136
bruh, I drink tomato juice at breakfast.

[Anonymous No.9721157]

>>9721145
should've just blended them up, maybe you would've ended with a nice drink

[Anonymous No.9721283]

>>9721145
Add salt, some vodka, a bit of spice and mint. As long as you are having bran flakes for breakfast you'll be good.

[Anonymous No.9721644]

>>9718270
underrated

[Anonymous No.9721665]

>>9718294
Kill yourself

[Anonymous No.9721721]

>>9720616
>If I keep posting it, it will come true

[Anonymous No.9721963]

>eating fries with ketchup
>put ketchup on drinking glass with my coke in it

get on my level

[Anonymous No.9722010]

>want a drink of milk
>stuff my glass into the milk jug
>shards everywhere and I'm bleeding now
FUCK

[Anonymous No.9722014]

>put ramen cup in microwave
>forget the water

[Anonymous No.9722046]

>be good at life
>don't fuck up doing simple tasks

[Anonymous No.9722593]

>>9722046
>fuck up the bigger, more important tasks instead

[Anonymous No.9722755]

>>9722593
>Fuck up taxes instead

[Anonymous No.9722770]

>>9722046
whoops I forgot the frog

[Anonymous No.9722794]

>>9722046
In real life when you do a monotonous task a million times, wires occasionally get crossed and fuckups happen. You're not different

[Anonymous No.9722931]

>crack open egg
>dump the contents in the trash
>throw the shell into the pan

[Anonymous No.9723011]

>>9719968
You're telling you've never been crapping, get up to wash your hands, realize you've still got more left and finish in the sink?

[Anonymous No.9723411]

>things that never happened: the thread

[Acbn !7CUUUUUUUU No.9724271]

Not a bad thread, needs a bump for some new blood

[Anonymous No.9726085]

>>9720393
To be fair seeing 5 frogs posted in a row is fucking weak, people used to try to be original with their images and you were a lot more likely to find one that made you laugh.
That frog is sucking a lot of the entertainment value out of the internet.