/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9644616]

What's the worst thing you've ever made?

[Anonymous No.9644631]

i tried making tapioca pearls and it tasted so bad i had to hold back vomit

[Anonymous No.9644640]

Scrambled eggs covered in cactus dust.

[Anonymous No.9644653]

When I was 7 I put a bunch of lemon juice on some bacon and baked it for 10 mins. What I got was really undercooked pieces of bacon with a bitter and sour taste.

[Anonymous No.9644659]

I like this thread

[Anonymous No.9644660]

>>9644616
Last week I didn't have any syrup but I was gonna make pancakes, so I got the idea to dump a tablespoon of cocoa powder into the batter to make them chocolate pancakes.

Do not do this.

[Anonymous No.9644680]

>>9644616
I think every kid his life has at least tired to make chocolate milk by hand at some point.

[Anonymous No.9644687]

>>9644660
>he can't eat anything that isn't sweet
enjoy your diabeetus

[Anonymous No.9644693]

>>9644687
Cocoa powder is not sweet.

[Anonymous No.9644699]

>>9644616
Guess I'll add my own

During my vegan phase, I decided I was going to make French onion soup, but with very limited ingredients. Ended up being brown burned onion water with a heavy layer of oil. I ate all of it to save myself the embarrassment if someone else tried it. Three up several times.

[Anonymous No.9644739]

>a few years ago
>be stoner who works minimum wage job
>spend paycheck on rent, any money left over on weed
>no food
>all I have is a can of tomato puree, a box of macaroni and cheese, and some leftover packets of the cheese powder
>no butter or milk
>no idea why I had extra powder packets, marijuana is a hell of a drug
>cook macaroni
>cook tomato puree, mix in the cheese powder
>disgusting but force myself to eat it because its the only food I have

I'm glad those days are over

[Anonymous No.9644750]

>>9644739
>could have just made macaroni and cheese with the perfectly good box of mix he had
>had to be a "CHEF" instead and mix it with random ass shit from the pantry

[Anonymous No.9644753]

a child.

[Anonymous No.9644754]

I was homeless for a while, but still had a job and could afford to get a hotel room once in a while.

The worst thing I ever ate was probably sliced krab stick with baby carrots floating in mayo water. Or cheap lunchmeat sandwiched between cookies from the dollar store.

[Anonymous No.9644757]

>>9644750
it would have been worse if I had just used the cheese powder without the tomato, you really need to use butter and milk for boxed mac and cheese

I should have just put salt on the plain macaroni

[Anonymous No.9644764]

>>9644754
>sliced krab stick with baby carrots floating in mayo water
w-what...

[Anonymous No.9644769]

>>9644757
You can make it with water though and it'll be fine. Not luxurious, but fine.

[Anonymous No.9644778]

>>9644769
no its terrible
you have to have at least butter

[Anonymous No.9644808]

>>9644764
It was a vague approximation of seafood salad. But I had no cutlery, no kitchen, and access to only the cheapest version of every ingredient you might put into a real seafood salad.

So I had to break the baby carrots up by hand tear up the imitation crab. I rinsed it all, but didn't have a strainer of any kind, so when I squeezed the mayo packets and mixed it all up, the resultant mess was very watery and overall just awful .

Oh, also. After taking a bite and realizing how terrible it was at room temperature, I stuck it into the motel mini-fridge overnight, hoping it might improve if chilled. Well, it ended up freezing and I was hungry enough to let it thaw and ate it while it was still sort of slushy.

Cheers :)

[Anonymous No.9644847]

There was no actual food in the house because blah blah family shit but I did have a bunch of leftovers from a new years eve party, and I made the world's worst pizza out of like water crackers, sliced cheese, cocktail sauce, etc.
The house smelled weird for a solid day.

[Anonymous No.9644857]

i spent all of thanksgiving preparing a turkey. After three hours, the internal temperature of the bird was still too low but everyone was bitching at me about how long it was taking. So I pulled it out of the oven and carved out servings of meat from around the raw spots. Everyone got sick.

[Anonymous No.9644862]

Spaghetti Carbonara with CREAM and SAUSAGE instead of eggs and pork.

[Anonymous No.9644989]

When I was 13-14 I was watching Iron Chef with my brother and it got us hyped as fuck.
When it ended we ran downstairs and just started cooking random shit.
Just taking a bunch of stuff from the fridge, threw it in the pan and stirred that shit up.
It ended up tasting like shit, but our parents had a hoot

[Anonymous No.9645102]

I made a pot of great northerns with a nice meaty ham bone, got drunk and left it on too high a temp for too long and it scorched the hell out of them. We tried eating them anyway and they tasted like ashes. Bad thing was I had people over and had bragged a lot about how good my beans were so I looked like a total ass. I had to order 3 large pizzas because it was inedible.

[Anonymous No.9645171]

>>9644616
One time when I was a kid I tried to prepare cereal with Sprite, because we were out of milk, and I didn't know what else to use, but I knew I liked Sprite

[Anonymous No.9645205]

>>9644857
>three hours and its still not cooked
turn up the oven dumbass

[Anonymous No.9645298]

>>9644616
tofu with cocktail sauce on rye

[Anonymous No.9645331]

>>9645171
>>9644616


One time when I was a kid I tried to prepare cereal with egg nog, because we were out of milk, and I didn't know what else to use, but I knew I liked egg nog.

Egg nog and fucking corn pops.
I still have the nightmares.

[Anonymous No.9645711]

I once dumped an entire jar of queso over Takis and dubbed it a "Mexican Beaver Dam"

[Anonymous No.9645722]

the worst thing i ever made was not killing myself earlier this is the year. i can feel it.

>>9644680
i did this back when i was like 10. i would make a syrup out of granulated sugar and add cocoa powder and vanilla and stir it in.

[Anonymous No.9645743]

>>9644616

Instant noodle with cheese

[Anonymous No.9645772]

>>9644616
PIC CLEARLY NOT RELATED

[Anonymous No.9645789]

>>9645743
Hold still for a second.

[Anonymous No.9645798]

Made some French toast.

[Anonymous No.9645805]

a horrible mustard sauce, that i decided would be good on fish for some reason

[Anonymous No.9645806]

>>9644616
my father-in-law hunts wild pigs, the meat they give is awful. I have tried every which way I can think of and it is inedible, mind you it isn't wild boar. It is pigs that escaped farmers many generations ago that wander the woods in louisiana...PIG DISGUSTING

[Anonymous No.9645813]

>>9645743
Ramen with cheese is alright, but it depends what soup base you use and the cheese.
Spicy korean base with shitty kraft singles is good

[Anonymous No.9645817]

>>9644616
my autistic son

[Anonymous No.9645834]

>>9645806
make sausage

[Anonymous No.9645842]

When I was little I would take one of those snack bags of tortilla chips and mash them up, pour them into a bowl, then pour in a little salsa and stir it up then eat it with a spoon. I didn't like having to dip the chips, so I just did that.

[Anonymous No.9645855]

>>9644616
When I was a kid, my dad made a steak filet for christmas he was normaly a good cook, but he got ambitous and decided to put an awful spice mix on it. There were leftovers of the steak so I decided to make a philly chesestake with it. My mom wanted to let my little brother help so he put way too much mayonaise on the bread. It was bad and I feel bad for the filet.

[Anonymous No.9645878]

this is really high up there, probably at the top

it might not look that terrible, but it was literally uneatable
see what I did was find a jar of very hot, pickled, chili's, with seeds, at a chinese store
I had no idea how hot it really was so I threw like 2 teaspoons of the stuff in a stir fry for about 3 meals

the thing was so hot I couldn't eat it, eventually drowned it in milk/yoghurt and just put very tiny amounts of it over noodles to not have to throw it away

and that ladies and gents is why you should always taste while cooking, unless you reaaaally know what you're doing and it's the 3rd time making the dish
lessons were learned the hard way

[None !OPIATE9fy. No.9645901]

>>9645878
looks pretty good

I bet it wasn't even that spicy at all

[Anonymous No.9645907]

>>9645102
I accidentally scorched a pot of chicken soup. I thought I turned it off but turned it on high instead which is just one click of the dial away. I tried to salvage what I could and ate a bowl but it tasted like there were cigarettes in it. Eventually gave up and threw the entire thing away.

[Anonymous No.9645914]

>>9645842
You're living in 5017 my nia

[Anonymous No.9645921]

>>9645331
Dude fuck egg nog that sounds awful

[Anonymous No.9645957]

>>9645331
As someone who likes egg nog, that doesn't sound half bad. This time of year, I put egg nog in my coffee and use it to make white russians.

[Anonymous No.9645968]

>>9645901
anon you have to believe me it was ungodly
I can handle fairly hot foods I'm not a gigantic fan of burning-intestines-kill-me-now hot but I do eat plenty spicy and can assure you this was just not safe

the pickled chilis are on the right in pic related

now I barely put like half a teaspoon of the stuff in a meal; it is very tasty when used in moderation

[Anonymous No.9645970]

I once somehow messed up flourless peanut butter cookies.

[None !OPIATE9fy. No.9646192]

>>9645968
gonna try to find these next time I go to dong market or mabe theyl have it at my local stop and shop

[Anonymous No.9646225]

>>9644660
I did this once. Turned out just fine.
You either added far too much, or used trash like Hershey's.

[Anonymous No.9646233]

I put almond milk and chopped tomatoes in a roux and it turned into a weird cake scramble.

I don't know what I was trying to do tbph.

[Anonymous No.9646327]

I didn't have patience to wait for an omelette to cook as an 8 year old so I ran upstairs to play some Liero, promising myself I would go downstairs to get the omelette soon. 3 hours later I smelled something burning so I ran downstairs to find the kitchen filled with smoke. The omelette had basically become charcoal. I panicked and put the thing in a plastic bag and threw it out the window onto the front lawn so my dad wouldn't see the mess I had made.

A stray dog dragged it away a couple minutes later.

[Anonymous No.9646384]

Made avocado and lentil soup. Ended up putting too much garlic in it. The first few spoonfuls were pretty OK, but by halfway through the bowl I felt like I was going to puke.

[Anonymous No.9646522]

>>9645878
that chicken looks bad

[Anonymous No.9646560]

>>9644757
That pasta is shit on its own.

[Anonymous No.9646573]

>>9646327
Can anyone tell me where this cute mystery frog is from? Thank you!

[Anonymous No.9646575]

>>9645842
I still do that, brother! Gotta eat 'em quick though.

[Anonymous No.9646622]

>>9646573
It's an enemy called "Touch Me" from Final Fantasy VII.

[Anonymous No.9646909]

>>9646622
Thanks friend! Here’s a pic I hope you like.

[Anonymous No.9646993]

>>9644739
Similarly I made the mistake of using vanilla soymilk with boxed mac and cheese when in college and broke. Absolutely disgusting, and trying to add chili powder to try to mask the sweetness just made it worse.

[Anonymous No.9647186]

>>9645331
When it's in season, I frequently use egg nog on my cereal. I like it.

[Anonymous No.9647269]

I experimented using xantham gum to thicken up a soup, a zuppa toscana, and totally fucked it up. Turned into a elmers glue taste and consistency spiked with sausage.

[Anonymous No.9647436]

>>9644616
I baked eggs and to season I used garlic and dill. It tasted like vomit, then I went and vomited.

[Anonymous No.9647445]

>>9644739
Don't blame the weed for your poor life choices. Just the same as alcohol, you can have it in moderation.

[Anonymous No.9647641]

>>9644616
This was a few years back
>get drunk one night
>feel hungry
>decide to make brownies from a betty crockers mix
>recipe asks for butter
>drunken self doesn't notice the butter has to be melted not straight from the fridge
>put in huge chunks of cold butter
>mix it with difficulty
>put it in the oven
I ended up with burned butter mixed in with a charred brownie-like solid, shit was fucking horrible but I ate it anyway

[Anonymous No.9647659]

>>9644699
You can dump it out my dude.

[Anonymous No.9647851]

Used coffee cream for cerial when I was a kid. Did not know there was a difference. Also when I was a broke young idiot I made boxed mac and cheese and forgot to drain the pasta before putting the cheese mix.Still ate it. I was realy hungover from mdma.

[Anonymous No.9647680]

>>9644616
>drinking all day
>kinda soberish by 9 pm
>decide to smoke a couple bowls and a joint to make up for it
>get hungry
>decide I want to make some weird shit
>have cooked hotdogs in the fridge
>put it in a tortilla
>add cheez wiz
>open a can of baked beans and add those
>microwave that bitch
>add sour cream
>add mayonaise
>add hot sauce
>eat my abomination

It wasn't the worst thing I've ever eaten, but easily the worst thing I'd ever made.

It was like a 3.5/10 while I was high, so I can only image it would've been worse had I been sober though.

[Anonymous No.9648326]

>>9646522
yea it doesn't look great, but my camera's phone also contributes to that
but these days I've learned to brown them a bit more, take them out, fry the rest of the stuff, and then combine everything at the end
I used to be very sloppy about the whole thing and didn't time the steps right

[Anonymous No.9648341]

When I was a kid I put coca cola on my eggs. I threw it in the garbage.

[Anonymous No.9648390]

Jamacian Jerk Chicken Ravioli

Literally out it all in the trash, and ordered Chinese takeout.

[Anonymous No.9648398]

>>9645806
>>9645834

Word on sausage, and always avoid the boars.

[Anonymous No.9648585]

burnt microwave rice with barbecue sauce to cover up the burnt

[Anonymous No.9648613]

>during easter break where every store is closed
>didn't stock well enough up for break
>find taco shells
>find chili mayo
>have some grounded beef leftovers
> decide to mmix beef with chili mayo to add flavor
>eat the chilimayoed taco
>instantly regred my decision

[Anonymous No.9648646]

>>9645968
Lee kum kee hoisin sauce sucks, worst hoisin sauce I ever used

[Anonymous No.9648650]

oc

[Anonymous No.9648668]

>>9648650
What am I looking at here exactly.

[Anonymous No.9648712]

when i was young I heard about cocktails from somewhere and decided to make my parents one for breakfast and all I did was take orange juice and added all the other bottles of juice from the fridge into it

[Anonymous No.9648811]

>>9648668
salt chips and roasted sausages

[Anonymous No.9648825]

Wanted to be interesting and added rice bubbles to an omelette thinking it would make it crunchy. Ended up with soggy egg rice bubbles. Stuck to the basics after that

[Anonymous No.9648834]

>>9645171
>done this with cola

[Anonymous No.9648836]

>>9644616
i was making some fish in tinfoil, which usually is pretty simple and easy
>tinfoil
>fish
>butter
>salt pepper
>cayenne
>garlic powder
>wrap and in the oven for 15 minutes
but i tried to experiment with mexican chili powder and celery salt. it sucked

[Anonymous No.9648908]

>attempt to make custard for real instead of boxshit
>fuck it all up and end up with chocolate scrambled eggs
>eat them in shame

[Anonymous No.9649065]

I made this thing a long time ago

[Anonymous No.9649082]

>>9649065
Here is the adventure

[Anonymous No.9650478]

bump

[Anonymous No.9650507]

>>9649065
>"oh, that doesnt look too bad."

>>9649082
>"oh."

[Anonymous No.9650510]

>>9644616

boiled radishes. they were puke flavored

[Anonymous No.9650519]

>>9644616
Has to be mixing milk with coke when I was younger. Did it all the time because I liked the taste.

[Anonymous No.9650536]

>>9648650

That doesn't look bad at all.

[Anonymous No.9650550]

Not that bad but I got high once and ate chicken breast with chocolate, mustard and pickled peppers.

[Anonymous No.9650707]

Cooked a burger in canned french onion soup, almost put me off ground beef for life

[Anonymous No.9650876]

I put buffalo sauce on rice.
It wasn't good.

[Anonymous No.9650885]

I once cooked up some black beans with onions, tomatoes, and chili peppers. The beans were kind of burnt, since I forgot to add enough water and lower the heat.
Other than that, I wouldn't say I've ever made food gore material. Everything else I've ever made has tasted pretty decent.

[Anonymous No.9650896]

>>9645743
I've made Maruchan-brand chicken-flavored instant ramen noodles with peanuts. It tasted pretty decent.

[Anonymous No.9650931]

>>9644680
Wait wut????
Isnt it called 'cocoa'?

Also what could possibly go wrong?

[Anonymous No.9650972]

>>9644989
This reminds me...
>14 yo bro and 12 yo me get left at home while parents go abroad for a month on a marridge - saving mid - life crisis journey to the mediterrainian or someshit with a strict budget we had to use to prepare our lunches.
>budget
>bud get
>motherfucker enforces a strict diet of bread rolls, eggs and cup ramen for almost the entire month, just so he can pocket the money and spend it on weed or some other gay shit.
>:(

[Anonymous No.9650999]

>>9650972
Sounds like your brother was definitely the masculine one

[Anonymous No.9651036]

>>9644616
i made a pact with my sister not to pull out

[Anonymous No.9651037]

>>9648825
I get what you were going for, but I'm surprised you didn't realize the raw egg mixture would soak into the cereal.

I've had a similar idea, but instead I toasted some oats in a pan with butter before pouring in the egg. Wound up with a bi-fold omelet with a savory, crispy coating. It was pretty great, but obviously the oats add some rigidity to the egg, so folding is a challenge.

[Anonymous No.9651047]

>>9644616
I found the perfect balance point of flavour making my smoothie this morning. So many competing ingredients that it tasted like nothing at all, maybe a slight hint of rice.

[Anonymous No.9651069]

put a lid on top of a pan while I was making burger

[Anonymous No.9651072]

>>9649065
Maybe with a cornmeal batter and less frying time, this would be really good.

[Anonymous No.9651288]

>>9645813
I just threw up in my mouth dude what the hell?

[Anonymous No.9651368]

>>9647445
No reason to be mean with him. He's clearly over it and you don't know what was going on in his life at the time.

[Anonymous No.9651696]

I didn't make it, but one of my stoner friends in high school stamped cookie dough onto two pieces of white bread and cooked it in a pan with some butter. He then put PB on one piece of the soggy, sweaty cookie-bread, strawberry jelly on the other, and drizzled maple syrup over top of the monstrosity. I was high as hell and ate it out of courtesy but it was fucking disgusting.

[Anonymous No.9651746]

>>9644653
why is a 7 year old cooking?

>be me, 4 y/o
>wake up before mom
>get electric skillet out
>break a dozen eggs into it
>can't find the cord, so fuck it
>leave the skillet on the kitchen floor
>mom beats my ass, throws me in my room and slams the door so hard the shit on the walls falls down

she loves reminding me of this story and how she had to throw out the eggs because she didn't know what else i put in there.

[Anonymous No.9652122]

>>9644616
Tried to make french toasts once, I only had dried bread so I let them soak longer than specified by recipes.

Do not do this.

[Anonymous No.9652215]

>>9644653
>Be me
>Be 2 y/o
>Make Beef Wellington to perfection
>Forgot to season

My mum was so angry she dragged me upstairs by my hair and slammed my door so hard the window blew out.

[Anonymous No.9652230]

>>9652215
>Make Beef Wellington to perfection
>didn't season

Pick one

[Anonymous No.9652270]

>>9644778
worse than the abomination that you made instead??

[Anonymous No.9652298]

>>9645878
that looks good af. I bet you're just a bitch when it comes to spice

[Anonymous No.9652319]

>>9645331
Eggnog on Fruity Pebbles is the stuff childhood dreams are made of.

[Anonymous No.9652509]

>>9650999
Digits confirm, you are not wrong.

[Anonymous No.9652654]

Campbell’s tomato soup and chicken flavored ramen. Both prepared and then combined. It’s especially disgusting

[Anonymous No.9652683]

I got hooked on the boxed cous-cous and quinoa mixes several years ago, so I decided to buy quinoa fresh from the little dispensers at Hy-Vee and try to make my own recipe. I had a friend over who had never had it before and I wanted to show off the results of my new-found culinary explorations. I was drunk, a little stoned, and lacked the foresight to look up a recipe. I threw random spices in it, didn't make a meat or anything to add it to, and ended up undercooking it. What I got was a crunchy, disgusting abomination.

We tossed it in the trash and went to McDonald's.

[Anonymous No.9652724]

Golden Crisp cereal with old flat diet Pepsi instead of milk

[Anonymous No.9652738]

>>9644616

Tried to make caramel once, put some sugar in a pan and waited for it to melt.

I was young and didn't have access to the internet. I think we threw that pan out.

[Anonymous No.9653145]

>packed up nearly everything for going home from uni in first year
>little to no food, some fusilli and milk/cheese
>tried to make a basic cheese sauce without reading any guides
>ended up with this shitty concoction that was floury (used some old flour left by roommate) and overly milky, i managed like 2 bites then threw it away

Cheese mix was processed cheese slices/some old looking cheddar and dried mozzarella

[Anonymous No.9653181]

>>9644616
what is that................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

[Anonymous No.9653186]

>>9644616
The same only without the cracker

[Anonymous No.9653216]

>>9653145
Any parent who doesn't teach their kids how to make a fucking roux deserves to be sterilized.

[Anonymous No.9653224]

>>9645798
the food doesnt bother me nearly as much as your keyboard does

[Anonymous No.9653225]

>>9653216
Look add fat to hot dirt then add more fat
Win

[Anonymous No.9653235]

>>9653216

cheese sauces are shit anyways.

[Anonymous No.9653245]

>>9653235
Sauces are poor sources of nutrition more often than not

[Anonymous No.9653426]

>>9644616
I took two slices of white bread. Toasted it. Took a bunch of slices of pepperoni. put it on that. Took out the honey. Drenched it. Couldn't even taste pepperoni.