Unusual associations

[Anonymous No.9622780]

I've never shared this before but fuck it, first time for everything

>be 11-13
>started jacking off of around this time
>Have a glass of Schweppes Ginger Ale™
>Take a /sip/
>Find some porn
>Start wanking
>Foreskin pulls back for the first time
>Smegma so thick it looks like frosting on a cupcake in a school bake sale
>Smell immediately penetrates my nose
>I had no idea foreskins could even pull back, much less be this disgusting
>I let go of my dinker in shock
>Hit the glass
>Schweppes Ginger Ale™ spills all over the table
>Slowly drips on my dingdong
>I get a strong whiff of my fishy smegma and Schweppes Ginger Ale™ mixed in an unholy alliance

Since then I have been drinking Schweppes Bitter Lemon™ instead.

Every time I smell/see Ginger Ale, I am immediately reminded of that fishy smell.

[Anonymous No.9622785]

>>9622780
This board is about making food

[Anonymous No.9622787]

>>9622785
Stop posting food on my mcchicken board REEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.9622793]

>>9622780
>Since then I have been drinking Schweppes Bitter Lemon™ instead.

lol

[Anonymous No.9624956]

>>9622780

[Anonymous No.9625152]

>>9622780
I feel like this is something parents should tell their sons at a young age. "Wash your dick. You see that skin? It peels back. Wash that."

[Anonymous No.9625157]

>>9625152
>tfw couldn't peel back foreskin until i was 18
>tfw 0 smegma
Clean your dicks

[Anonymous No.9625160]

>>9625152
American parents are too fucking lazy to do that, so they just have the skin cut off instead.

[Anonymous No.9625193]

>be 15
>friend tells me you can tripp off motion sickness pills but they taste so bad you have to chase them with something
>eat like 15 of the little fuckers and chase it with squirt
>One of the fuckers get's stuck in the of my throat
>taste sticks in the back of my mouth for over an hour
>eventually makes me puke
>every time I smell or taster squirt all I can think of is the taste of pills and want to vomit

I can still drink ruby red squirt though

[Anonymous No.9625200]

>>9625193

Believing you can get high off Dramamine. Truly, a new level of retardation.

[Anonymous No.9625204]

>>9625200
It does get you high but its a real dirty high like getting fucked up off robitussin.

[Anonymous No.9625318]

>>9625152
Oh man, this reminds me
>probably didn't know what that white stuff under foreskin is (can't remember, was really young)
>ask mum
>mum doesn't know
>go to doctor
>she examines my smegma only to tell it's normal and should be washed
Luckily I was too young to be embarrassed

[Anonymous No.9625322]

>>9625200
Dramamine is pretty commonly abused. My friend really liked it.

[Anonymous No.9625591]

> mom decides her baby boy will circumcised even though they aren't jews
> circumcised dicks are less sensitive

never had smegma tho, but uncircumcised people don't believe me.

[Anonymous No.9625713]

holy fuck op yu ruined my fucking dick

[Anonymous No.9625791]

>>9622780
>>9625713
Holy shit I just went on a wild ride and I didn't think I'd survive to the end of it.
>just now learn that the foreskin is supposed to pull back over the head thanks to OP
>try it and it hurts like hell
>very quickly learn what phimosis is and that I have it
>try pulling the foreskin down over the head, make slow progress alternating hard and soft
>halfway down I can't stands no more and give up
>now my foreskin feels weird, like it's too thick and not resting right
>feel the tip of the foreskin stuck halfway down where I stopped stretching
>very quickly learn what paraphimosis is and that I have it
>spend half an hour desperately pulling my foreskin out of itself
>starts to hurt and I mentally prepare myself for death
>suddenly feel a release, managed to squeeze it out right as I was losing all hope
>celebrate with a fap and cum the biggest load of my life
Apparently I have to manually stretch my foreskin every day for six months to fix this. If this was just a shill thread for Schweppes, you have definitely failed to win me over.

[Anonymous No.9625810]

>>9625791
what the fuck am I reading on /ck/ of all places

[Anonymous No.9626021]

I'd just like to bump this spoopy bread

[Anonymous No.9626030]

>>9625200
Active ingredient is a dissociative. It'll get you fucked up. Not very enjoyable but to each their own.

[Anonymous No.9626076]

>>9625152

>Parents should

Its the USA, parents dont do anything. We're all raised by computers and public education now.

[Anonymous No.9626688]

>>9625193

there are transdermal patches with scopolamine for motion sickness, so yeah they were on to something but still retarded

[Anonymous No.9626714]

>>9622780
>Ginger Ale™

Why do you need to post that "tm" after each gigner ale?

[Anonymous No.9626736]

>>9626714

[Anonymous No.9626762]

>>9626714
Because he doesn't understand the difference between a trademark and a registered trademark®.
>tl;dr: he's a retard.

[Anonymous No.9626769]

>>9625152
American pediatricians tell parents not to pull back the foreskin to wash.

t. Oldfag and dad

[Anonymous No.9626784]

>>9625791
>>9625810
Hahahaha oh fuck lads put me in the screen cap. Also this is why you circumcise the retards.

[Anonymous No.9626787]

>>9626769
Why?

[Anonymous No.9626794]

>>9626769
Depends entirely on the age of the child. The foreskin is attached to the head of the penis at birth. When a young child is circumcised the foreskin has to be literally torn off because it is adhered to the head. It doesn't start to separate until later in life.

this discussion is worthless without mentioning the age of the child.

[Anonymous No.9626966]

>>9626762
did you just tldr my one sentence post?

[Anonymous No.9627126]

>>9626794
>When a young child is circumcised the foreskin has to be literally torn off

[Anonymous No.9627895]

Halloween bamp.. SPOOP!!