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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9616058 No.9616058 [Reply] [Original]

Are you guys ready for some Authentic italian food?

>> No.9616066
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9616066

>> No.9616110
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9616110

>> No.9616123

Italian here. That looks pretty authentic, just like Mama made it. I'll be buying some for my huge Italian family tomorrow.

>> No.9616132

ahhh spaghetti just like papa used to enrich

>> No.9616285
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9616285

it reminda me of the old country and mia famiglia

>> No.9616293

>>9616058
>tfw some of Walmart in-house brand products are actually good and excellent value for money
>tfw some of them are just terrible
>tfw you can't tell which is which until you buy them and try them out

>> No.9616302

ravioli ravioli time to kill myselfioli

>> No.9616308

I hear picking the sauce jars from the garden is the hardest part. They grow underground so digging up all that earth is a chore. But once the jar has been dug up, it's so fresh and crisp that when you open the lid you'll hear a "pop". That's when you know it's ready for eating.

>> No.9616321

Tomatoes, crushed by industrial machinery just like in Sicily! What a treat.

>> No.9616332

Delicious Pesto-style sauce. I can almost taste it now, I imagine it taste very similar to pesto!

>> No.9616338

Wopmart

>> No.9616343

>>9616308
God I love fresh-picked sauce. When you serve them up over some spaghetti straight off the tree it’s always a 10/10 meal.

>> No.9616352

>>9616343
>spaghetti straight off the tree
A classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU

>> No.9616410

>>9616058
>Sam's choice
Who is Sam?

>> No.9616414
File: 7 KB, 152x153, braniac.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9616414

>>9616410

>> No.9616416

>>9616410
Some douche who killed small businesses across America, inadvertently replacing the availability of quality goods with a deluge of cheaply made garbage imported from countries where said goods are made using wage-slaves and environmentally destructive processes.

>> No.9616420

>culturally enriched spaghetti

>> No.9616428

>>9616416
He also started out as a small business, not his fault it was so successful

>> No.9616523

>>9616293
What are some of the good ones you've found?

>> No.9616849

>>9616293
>shops at walmart
Glad I've never been in one

>> No.9616855

>>9616849
Nothing is more freeing then going to a store that allows you to shit yourself in one of their electric carts.

>> No.9616865

>>9616855
S H A R T
C A R T

>> No.9616924

>>9616058
Lol, appearently they are already afraid of Aldi and Lidl.

>> No.9617299
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9617299

>>9616416
>quality goods

>> No.9617307

>>9616924
germany on the rise again

>> No.9617314

>>9616855
The mud on the floor shows their dedication to an all natural approach

>> No.9617315
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9617315

>>9616410
The mastermind behind the Las Vegas massacre

>> No.9617330

Can't believe this shit. We invented this and all these other cocksuckers are getting rich off it...fucking walmart... And it's not just the money, all our food: Pizza, calzone...buffalo mozzarella, olive oil! These fucks have nothing. They ate pootzi before we gave them the gift of our cuisine. But this, this is the woist, this walmart shit.

>> No.9617344

>>9616352
educational

>> No.9617349

>>9617330
Chill out, Luigi.
It'll be about as authentic Italian as I am.

>> No.9617390

>>9617330
You didn’t invent shit

>> No.9617432
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9617432

>>9616523
Their salsa is really good at half the cost of Pace

>> No.9617504

Their Olive oil is actually 100% olive, this really can't be too bad.

>> No.9617535
File: 256 KB, 451x221, OliveGardenLogo3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9617535

My favorite Italian restaurant, all others BTFO

>> No.9617539

>>9617535
Fine Dinng, anon.
Stay classy.

>> No.9617546

>>9617535
they gave me wine when I was 16
I didn't even ask. They offered it and didn't check an ID

>> No.9617551

>>9617546
fucking based

>> No.9617561

>>9617546
You can drink at 16 if you're having a meal and an adult purchases it for you.

>> No.9617565

>>9616123
We spell 'mamma' with three Ms, my non-Italian friend.

>>9617330
You're about as Italian as chairman Mao. And what the fuck is 'pootzi?' Do you mean 'puzzi?' Are you suggesting people eat farts? I can guarantee that outside of a few fetishists, the consumption of poo-gas is not terribly common.

>>9616058
I'd give it a try. I'm all for convenience if it comes even somewhat close to the real thing. Or is so convenient/quick to prepare and still edible that I'll take the substantial reduction in quality. Aldi used to sell this shelf-stable gnocchi dinner kit with a little squeeze pouch of condensed tomato sauce in the box. Also cheese in a separate pouch. Surprisingly enough, that shit was delicious. Not just 'good for a packaged food' but actually fucking tasty. But they stopped carrying it for some reason.

>> No.9617589

>>9617561
I've never heard that before, but I was 16 and sitting there with other 16 year olds
we rode our bikes to olive garden and were served alcohol unsolicited

then my retarded friend left a huge tip because he kept ordering bread and the waiter never charged us for it
...who charges for bread?

>> No.9617592

>>9616058
56% genuine Italian, just like all americans.

>> No.9617631
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9617631

Once i was really dopesick and for some reason i needed to go get something at walmart. As soon as I entered the store i ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet with a cold sweat pouring down my face I defiled the toilet as i prayed for death to take me away.

After what seemed like an eternity I cleaned myself up and went to go get the item I needed. Five minutes later I was in the middle of the store and needed to shit again. I ran to the bathroom but this time I wouldnt make it.

It was then I realized I am no longer a man, I am a meme. A Shart in the Mart.

Lucky for me it was a solid shit and I had shorts on so I was someone elses problem now. I also got really good and high after so there is that.

>> No.9617652
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9617652

>>9617330
Laughing all the way to the bank, Alfredo.

>> No.9617657

>>9616058
I like making spaghetti. I'll try it.

>> No.9617660

>>9616849
I don't like that wal mart runs everything out of business BUT the prices are fantastic.

>> No.9617668

>>9617652
>Beefaroni
baka

>> No.9618261

At our local wal mart a young girl about 18 or so was wearing a skirt just took a shit on the floor in front of everyone. She ran off right after. I'm convinced she did it for money.

>> No.9618275

>>9616058
It's just co packed ragu or Prego stop sperging.

>> No.9618299

>>9617561
No you can't

>> No.9618305

>>9617660
Fuck you.

>> No.9618306

>>9617535
>>9617652
I love italian food!

>> No.9618313

>>9618299
You can, actually. Not just 16, but any age as long as the parents are the one giving it to them.

>> No.9618374

>>9617631
wat

>> No.9618554
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9618554

>>9616058

>> No.9618574
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9618574

>>9616523
this stuff is pretty good

>> No.9618595

>>9618574
How am I supposed to know if it melts if it doesn't say so on the pack??

>> No.9618605

>>9616352
/b/BC

>> No.9618633

Perché non fanno cucinare cibo italiano agli italiani e basta?

>> No.9618641
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9618641

>>9616058
I mean i will go read the ingredients and decide if it's crap or not before casting judgement. I mean, if it doesn't have shit ingredients in it, then I will probably buy it.

>> No.9618648
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9618648

>>9616058
>Not Marie's Choice

Missed a trick.

>> No.9618824

>>9617631
i hope you OD

>> No.9618857

>>9618824
Found the walcuck

That was 2 and 1/2 years ago and im not dead yet. what walmart do you work at ill make sure to take a shit in that one next time

>> No.9618861

>>9617330
buffalo is american

>> No.9618865

>>9618374
he had a crackcrap

>> No.9618898
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9618898

>>9616058
>enriched spaghetti

>> No.9618915

>>9618861
>american education

>> No.9618922

>>9616338
underrated

>> No.9619001
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9619001

>>9617652

This. I love that we've stolen everyone's cuisine, made it faster and easier and get all of their money. Europeans are such little fucking faggot bitches about every little fucking faggot thing, oooh I'm too italian to hurry, I'm too spanish to keep flies away from my food, I'm too french to even be taken seriously and need to be kicked down a flight of stairs because I'm a maoist. You hippies keep your "slow food" and let daddy make all the money.

>>9617652

Behold the man exempt from everything I have just said and seemingly the only motherfucker alive who knows that alfredo sauce has onion in it

>> No.9619021

>>9616416
HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

>> No.9619034
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9619034

>>9617535
nah m8. fazolis is where its at.

>> No.9619043

Gave me flashbacks to "Marie's italian tomato sauce"

>> No.9619051

>>9619001

>Europeans are such little fucking faggot bitches about every little fucking faggot thing, oooh I'm too italian to hurry, I'm too spanish to keep flies away from my food, I'm too french to even be taken seriously and need to be kicked down a flight of stairs because I'm a maoist.

this so fucking much

>> No.9619056
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9619056

>>9616110

>> No.9619060

>>9616058
>authentic italian
>authentic mexican
>authentic anything
Does this even mean anything anymore? I feel like the word authentic has been bastardized so much that even if Mama Luigi himself took a shit on a plate and called it spaghet and meatball in the middle of rome it wouldn't mean jack shit.

>> No.9619065
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9619065

>enhanced spaghetti

>> No.9619070
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9619070

>>9619043

>> No.9619081

Marie is going to be so excited! This will pair well with her the homemade Italian cuisine.

>> No.9619091

Honestly it's good that Wal Mart is stepping up their products.

A lot of us are unfortunate to live in flyover country where they're the most convenient grocery store near us.

>> No.9619120

>>9616410
Sam Walton founded Walmart in 1962. He died in 1992, but evidently is still choosing merchandise to sell in his many stores.

>> No.9619146

>>9617660
The fantastic prices are what run everything else out of business.

>> No.9619161

>>9617330
Nobody gives a shit about your specific 3mm width pasta paired with a vaguely flavorful cheese that tasted better when the Greeks did it first. Every person I know who's traveled to Europe, myself included, has remarked that they were let down by the cuisine of Italy. They expected more considering how much you people talk it up.

>> No.9619191

>>9616293
Nutty bars, Buffalo sauce, white cheddar popcorn, and tea bags are all aces for sure.

>> No.9619227

>>9619161
That's because you are a fag and your friends are fags. Save up your allowance and you can visit Italy some day

>> No.9619228

Please post more memes making fun of Italian people please. Thanks.

>> No.9619253

>>9619227
Already been there faggot. It's a shithole.

>> No.9619261

>>9616293
true

>> No.9619274

>>9616416
Also true

>> No.9619284

>>9619253
Not him but...
photos of you on your trip+timestamped photo of you now or pic of your stamped passport or it didn't happen
I've been to Italy. Hadn't had one bad or even disappointing meal my entire time there.

>> No.9619291
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9619291

>>9617349
>>9617390
>>9617652
>>9619161
OOOHHHHHH, watch it.

>> No.9619298

>>9618299
It depends state to state and even in states that allow it its ultimately up the establishment. I've had places allow it and not allow it here in Wisco when was growing up.

>> No.9619374

>>9619284
Not him, but you first.

>> No.9619383

>>9616410
I am!

>> No.9619678
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9619678

>>9619228

Fuck this reminds me of running into italians on TF2, me and my friend would taunt them by just saying ETZIO AUDITORE over voice with thick accents. The meme lives to this day with any italian that shows up we have to just be like "AYYYY ETZIO" and "oh shit are you the guy from assassins's creed? like the italy one????". They get mad every fucking time. You don't need any other meme, just accuse every single italian person of being the legendary ETZIO AUDITORE.

>> No.9620452

>>9619678
>uncle named fucking mario

>> No.9620460

>>9619001
when did Larry David start making pasta?

>> No.9620461

>>9616058
really enriched my spaghetti

>> No.9620467

>>9617330

Take it easy, Paulie.

>> No.9620476

>>9618554
Sorry, Luigi you're considered white by 2017 current year standards.

>> No.9620488

>>9620452
I once had a short Italian male teacher named Mario. He dressed up as Luigi for Halloween.

>> No.9620562

>>9619678
Buttbuttin's Feed & Seed? I don't get it.

>> No.9621137

>>9617330
Gravy, gravy, tomato saus

>> No.9621158
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9621158

you wont find such dry wit on any other board its 5:30 am and i woke the house up laughing

>> No.9621288

>>9616058
Well, judging from the labels those are just packaged, ready-made versions of Italian recipes. I don't see anything wrong with them, we have that kind of stuff down here too.
I have one question though: what the fuck are "enriched spaghetti"? Enriched with what?

>> No.9621322

>>9619253
>driving down the coast from Rome
>Rest of group insists we go to Naples, blah blah pizza!
>Pull into Napoli at like 2 am
>feral africans glaring at us from the alleys, some wop getting a blowjob against a wall in plain view, trash everywhere
>Fuck off out of Naples and go to Amalfi instead

Amalfi was nice. Rome was fun for the history, but too touristy. Florence was bretty gud, we got into the museum to see Michelangelo's David for free because my sister knows sign language and we pretended to be deaf.

Other than the Roman stuff, Italy didn't do anything better than Spain or Croatia.

>> No.9621327

>>9616321
Funny, because you almost sounded sarcastic, as if they don't can their tomatoes that way either!

>> No.9621477
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9621477

>>9618861

>> No.9621481

>>9621288
Probably made with enriched flour

I.E. added vit b and iron.

>> No.9621529

>>9616058

If their fucking Shells & Cheese Cups are to go by, this shit will turn into fucking goo in the pot. Stay away from this shit.

>> No.9621595
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9621595

>>9616058
>enriched spaghetti
what did walmart mean by this?

>> No.9621680

>>9621595
Now with 20% more fluoride for all your brainwashing needs

>> No.9621682

>>9621595
>>for what purpose
many cheap foods have vitamins and minerals added to fight deficiency among poor people. Are you really only becoming aware of this now?

>> No.9621699

>>9621682
> Are you really only becoming aware of this now?
yes, because I'm not poor and my diet mostly consist in activated peanuts.

>> No.9621719

As I recall, Walmart actually has one of the better extra virgin olive oils (read: it actually is olive oil). Those fucking Italians are exporting shit olive oils hoping nobody would notice.

>> No.9621729

>>9621719
More like American companies are marketing shity unrefined olive oil as actual extra-virgin oil

>> No.9621740

>>9621729
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/11988947/Italian-companies-investigated-for-passing-off-ordinary-olive-oil-as-extra-virgin.html

Nice try, greaser.