/ck/ Trauma

File: 27 KB, 600x448, sad asian kid.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

/ck/ Trauma Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:17:50 2017 No.9613374 [Reply] [Original]

What's your most traumatic food-related experience?

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:22:27 2017 No.9613394

>be me, 10 years old
>mother makes a salad to go with dinner
>onions
>I FUCKING HATE ONIONS
>after dinner, want to make brownies
>use same bowl as salad, thought I washed it out well
>did not

>finish mixing brownies
>dip spoon into batter to eat some
>cruuuuuuuuunch
>brownie batter covered raw onion
>vomit profusely

Still hate raw onions.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:22:28 2017 No.9613395

>>9613374

Eating a bigfoot pizza while watching killer clowns from outer space on betamax, then my mom put clown makeup on and jumped up from behind me and my friends screaming at the top of her lungs. I choked, and she had to get a neighbor to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Almost died. Fun experience.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:22:43 2017 No.9613397 >be fifteen at the time, prep-cuck >using the slicer, slicin' cheese >finger gets into the slicer, slices to the bone >don't even feel it til I notice the blood everywhere

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:26:47 2017 No.9613410 When I was 8 years old or so my little brother started choking on a fishbone, it wasn't too bad, my dad got it out in a few seconds, but those first moments were really scary and panicky.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:27:14 2017 No.9613412 >>9613395 >she had to get a neighbor to give me the Heimlich maneuver so not only was she a cunt but a useless one at that

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:35:24 2017 No.9613440
File: 338 KB, 2641x2450, 1506578170081.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>drinking mcdonalds chocolate milk
>had an unfinished one at my desk already, forgot to throw away
>happily playing age of empires
>absentmindedly grab a bottle
>watery
>keep drinking, must be my imagination
>something gel like hits my lips
>stop fucking cold
>there are Greeks at my doorstep, bu I'm too concerned about the bottle
>look through the mouth of the bottle
>what looks like a massive brown clump is at the bottom
>this chocolate milk wasn't just old
>it wasn't just left out
>it mutated
>it turned into this gel like thing
>ended up tossing both fucking bottles and never touched mcdonalds milks again
I was 6. The memory still haunts me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:37:15 2017 No.9613446 >be ~13 >have no sense of smell >playing videogames >parents put fish in microwave >go to do yardwork, forget about fish >parents come back in, smell horrible smell >accuse me of shitting my pants >find melted/burned tupperware in microwave

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 13:43:43 2017 No.9613473 >chewing JuicyFruit gum >it starts to break down in my mouth >turns to some kind of powdery mush >spit it out >never chew JuicyFruit again

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 14:07:34 2017 No.9613553
File: 55 KB, 600x782, Bthroom.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Out of nowhere get craving for steak and sauteed onions
>Don't have any steak
>Have a shitton of onions
>Slice up like 5 whole onions
>Sautee them
>Eat what was probably 2 pounds of onions
>Couple hours later
>Start feeling woozy
>Go to the bathroom
>Start vomiting up onions
>Bent over the toilet non-stop vomiting up onions through my mouth so violently they start coming through my nose
>Stomach starts gurgling
>Ass starts spurting out liquid shit that looks like half stirred nesquick
>Can't shit in the toilet since I'm puking in it
>Put lower half of my body in the bathtub so I'm not shitting on the floor
>This continues for about 40 minutes
>Spend the next week vomiting every 10 minutes or so
I can't stand sauteed onions anymore.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 14:09:06 2017 No.9613560 >bite into peach >it's fucking rotting and molding on the inside and that's why I cut open damn near everything before I eat it.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 16:11:11 2017 No.9614065

>>9613374
Food poisoning that knocked me out of action for two weeks. Finally I broke down and drove to Urgent Care. I was about a couple days away from having to go to a real ER and a 1200+ USD IV drip with all the trimmings.

Oh shit. Oh shit... That was a -lot- of fun.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 16:16:37 2017 No.9614088 >>9613374 >What's your most traumatic food-related experience? Americans posting their opinions of 'food' here. It drags the board down. I mean who fucking cares about their McDonald's v Burger King pleb bullshit?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 16:20:48 2017 No.9614112 File: 31 KB, 640x550, o.48709.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9614088 >posts on an American site to complain about Americans >mgw half those threads are made by yuropoors anyways

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 16:40:03 2017 No.9614184
File: 112 KB, 630x354, 200620171705177041856_2-41.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9613374
>be 8 years old, making some tea because I fucking always loved tea
>water is boiling, turn off the stove
>decide to pour it with my left hand like a fucking retard for some reason
>get some boiling water in the cup but most of it on my other hand
whole thumb looked like pic related, but bigger bubbles

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 16:55:55 2017 No.9614255 >>9613394 >brownie batter covered raw onion sounds good desu

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 16:58:44 2017 No.9614264 >>9613394 Reminds me of when my mom would make these delicious cakes with condensed milk, and then FUCKING CUT THEM ON AN UNWASHED CUTTING BOARD USED TO PREPARE MEAT Seriously I fucking hate that cunt for ruining perfectly good cakes

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:01:30 2017 No.9614275 >>9613553 Wtf, do you have an allergy? I've eaten 1lb+ sauteed onions in one meal and never had an abnormal reaction except powerful, voluminous farts that could probably repel flies and cockroaches.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:02:44 2017 No.9614280 >>9613374 tuna-noodle casserole had it at like 3 or 4, most disgusting food I've ever had in my life

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:03:39 2017 No.9614289

>like 20 years ago
>at white spot with my mom
>motherfuckin pirate pack up in this shit
>mom is having a quesadilla
>comes with a garnish of kale or parsley, can't remember which
>lmao I am going to eat the garnish
>take a bite out of it
>put it back on plate
>millipede falls out of it
>end of it is missing
>it is still crawling around on the plate
>never eat salad again for like 2 years

At least we got our meals for free.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:06:17 2017 No.9614297 >>9613374 Dinner for two at Marcus Wareings a few years back. Nothing special and it cost 450 quid.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:23:52 2017 No.9614383
File: 314 KB, 411x719, __hoshiguma_yuugi_kisume_and_mizuhashi_parsee_touhou_drawn_by_miyamotocube__37ba7133b3abaddbc1f7004fcd0e65e8.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>get home from work
>gymbro roommate is making dinner
>didn't seem to notice me
>sneak up behind him and hug him from behind
>try to kiss his cheeks and say "I'm home"
>he flips out and spins around
>splashes hot scalding oil on me
>fortunately none got on my face but the oil caught fire on my clothes
>I put it out by stomping on them
>gymbro won't stop crying
>hugs me
>"omg don't do that ever again what if something happened to you" etc.
>mfw

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:27:41 2017 No.9614400 >>9614383 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce38N2stZC4

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:31:03 2017 No.9614411 >>9614383 c-cute

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:37:40 2017 No.9614439 >>9614383 It must be nice to not be painfully aware of every single thing that happens around you.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:44:49 2017 No.9614463
File: 24 KB, 634x483, 1508875183578.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>first year of middle school
>a girl in my class offered me some chips from doritos bag
>why not?
>she offered a few people too
>then some other people started to chant: "booger eaters, booger eaters!"
>that girl blew her nose in the doritos chips bag before offering us

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:47:39 2017 No.9614472

>after new year's eve
>cleaning up
>washing stuff at the sink
>cleaning cups
>sponge inside the cup
>cup was cracked
>shattered in my hands
>shard cut into my hand hand
shit fucking hurts, also going to the hospital during that period is a completely different experience

also, another new year's eve
>go get a beer
>fridge was packed
>open it
>bottle fucking drops from the door and onto my foot
>right on my toenail
>nail falls out days after
from that day i'm always cautious when opening fridges

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:51:39 2017 No.9614482 Why not shit in the toilet and vomit in the tub?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:54:43 2017 No.9614486 >>9614482 I know this is in reference to >>9613553 but out of context it just looks like you've gone completely insane and are posting your feces-related philosophical thoughts on a random /ck/ thread

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:56:26 2017 No.9614494
File: 64 KB, 500x500, coffee_mate.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>bought big coffee creamer powder which did not have sealable package (pic related)
>had some coffee with it; ahhh nice
>went on a week long vacation
>first day home, went to kitchen
>made coffee, poured in some creamer powder
>mmm nice
>felt a solid particle in my mouth
>spat out
>it was a small roach
>opened whole of the creamer bag
>lot of roach corpses in it

I only use milk with my coffee to this date

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 17:57:56 2017 No.9614500 >>9614383 Faggots

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:00:58 2017 No.9614509 File: 545 KB, 1280x720, what_did_you_mean_by_this.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9614500 What did you mean by this anon? We're just gym buddies.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:11:08 2017 No.9614548 We had spinach soup in pre-school, it was disgusting and I threw up in the kitchen sink. Still hate spinach soup to this day. Spinach pancakes are baller tho.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:22:04 2017 No.9614585

I bought some coconuts and tried to drink the juice right after I cracked it, not having looked inside yet. I spat it all over my kitchen and retched and had to rinse my mouth out with the faucet.

I finished opening it to find the flesh inside was pink and yellow and clearly rotten. My hands smelled like it even after I washed them.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:29:58 2017 No.9614608 >>9614494 That's an awfully hot coffee pot.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:32:12 2017 No.9614612

>>9613374

I was doing a pigeon hunt in Alabama with my dad.

>be 15-ish or so
>shoot all day go back to lodge with 30 dudes
>drink a few shots of wild turkey, first liquor ever
>guys are all getting drunk and shooting AR-15s at trees
>Shrek is on TV on DVD for like under 10's
>it's actually pretty fun, cool environment
>the cook asks how I take my steak
>I really haven't eaten much steak in my life
>how do you take it, normie? 'rare, anon.' okay I'll try rare
>this fucking nigger basically warms my meat up over the fire but doesn't cook it
>my dad asks 'anon are you sure you want to try that?' sure dad it's what men do right?
>spend 5 mins cutting 2 mouth-sized bite out of essentially raw steak
>spend 20 mins chewing a single bite, making zero headway on this shit
>finally gag it down and 'walk outside' and throw steak into the woods
>cook is dying laughing, his steak is well done, asks me if I'd like another one
>15 year old me is too shy to tell him to go fuck himself
>just go watch the second half of Shrek, a bunch of 40 year olds essentially pranked me and won't stop asking me how my steak was for another 2 hours

I wish I could find this guy. I'd break his thumbs. I still do not eat steak to this day. Closest thing is roast.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:53:10 2017 No.9614712 >>9614612 pussy

>>	Xz Sat Oct 28 18:54:23 2017 No.9614719 Rotten food, in general. Creeps me the fuck out.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:55:43 2017 No.9614727 >>9614612 The cook actually didn't know how to steak. If you see a cook eating a steak well-done, you are in the wrong place.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 18:56:41 2017 No.9614731 >>9613374 I bit my finger hard as fuck trying to eat chicken at Christmas once. I cried like a bitch and my parents were mad that I caused such a scene. My finger was purple.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:07:03 2017 No.9614775
File: 1.78 MB, 368x290, 1506195254952-.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9613374
>1990, 3 years old
>sitting on the floor at home eating mcnuggets like the budding little fat fuck I was
>teeth crack down on something hard
>can still remember the twangy sensation like biting down on a candy cane without breaking it
>it's a huge piece of cartilage shaped like a flat rock
>freak out because I had no idea what it was at that age
>still get anxiously queasy when eating them now

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:16:17 2017 No.9614820 >>9614775 Forgot to add >even though they're not made of chicken anymore

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:22:17 2017 No.9614840 >>9614612 Its not like raw steak is that traumatizing of an experience.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:25:23 2017 No.9614849 >spent a few years in a foster home >foster mother loved tinned minted potatoes >had them several times a week >tinned minted peas too >forced to sit at the table until i ate them i cant eat minted vegetables anymore.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:31:22 2017 No.9614864 File: 60 KB, 693x663, Terrified_Doggo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9614463 Oh fuck

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:35:42 2017 No.9614883 >>9613394 >hating onions >wahhhh I'm a picky little child Kys bitch-made motherfucker

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:35:50 2017 No.9614885 >>9614612 >doesn't cut the still beating heart from his kill and chomp on it You fucking numale milennials are the worst.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:48:11 2017 No.9614920 I remember one time I had a milkshake and some popcorn, ended up getting really sick for some reason and vomiting it all up. Vomiting up popcorn kernels is a very unpleasant experience, hurt like a motherfucker.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 19:55:55 2017 No.9614945 >>9613394 I am with you on raw onions. The taste and texture is absolutely disgusting and it ruins whatever they are in. Cook then in some way and they are great.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:01:20 2017 No.9614971

>eating weird vegan sausage things from the campus store after work out for protein
>browsing /sp/ on my phone
>see a .gif of a man shitting on a baby
>laugh uncontrollable till 1 cubic millimeter sausage bits somehow work their way up into my nose
>spend next 10 minutes blowing my nose to clear it of pseudosausage bits

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:02:00 2017 No.9614973

Not exactly food but
>Had bronchitis when I was 10
>Medicine prescribed tastes like what I assume gasoline tastes like. Absolutely vile.
>Go back to the doctor and he prescribes me pills instead saying that kids usually prefer syrup over pills.

I still don't understand why anyone would prefer a vile liquid over a simple pill to swallow.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:04:50 2017 No.9614981 >>9614971 >>see a .gif of a man shitting on a baby share pls

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:16:01 2017 No.9615031

>>9613374
>Be at McDonalds in ghetto part of town
>Starving on a road trip and just wanted a quick bite
>Eating a cheap shitty ass burger
>Nignogs get into an argument outside of store
>One jigaboo draws a gun and shoots the other
>One of the moon crickets bullets misses and hits me in the arm
Cant eat McDonalds burgers without feeling anxious as fuck anymore. The brain associates the weirdest things.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:17:13 2017 No.9615036 >>9614981 Didn't save it but it was being spammed in every thread that night

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:17:22 2017 No.9615037 No hiss.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:24:20 2017 No.9615062 File: 385 KB, 940x627, 1508000119270.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9614608 Should i dump it on bonald drumpff?

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:36:13 2017 No.9615100

>>9613374
>have best friend round for sleep over
>comfy af, he brought over his games (rich kid)
>mom pops in chicken dippers for us
>friend wolfs one down
>eat half of one, go in for another dip
>but something looks... off. chicken is a weird colour
>it's pink
>tear open another dipper
>they're all fucking raw
>be a bro and i remember physically slapping one out my friends hand
>mom freaks, freaking out (to be fair, we just moved into a new house with a aga cooker (???), timing's way off the usual)
>spend rest of night restless with buckets by our sides
luckily we didn't get sick. it was awkward as fuck when the other mom turned up. ofc my mom had to tell her... yikes.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:38:38 2017 No.9615105 That one time I put one mouthful of sour milk in my mouth, spat it out, and tried not to puke in the sink.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:46:04 2017 No.9615134

>>9613374
One time my gf was sick at home with a bad chest cough and spitting mucus into an empty soda bottle all day. I came home from work parched and took a swig from it, she couldn't warn me fast enough... Hardly food related but I don't think I'll ever drink Fresca again just because of the association

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:51:24 2017 No.9615155 >>9615031 Actually laughed so hard I started gagging and almost puked Take any of the nigs to court?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:53:25 2017 No.9615164 >>9615155 Nope. Cops never found out shit from what I know. Of course none of the COLORFUL locals saw anything.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 20:56:27 2017 No.9615174 >>9615036 Man, /sp/ used to be one the last bastions of cp spam back in the day.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:09:53 2017 No.9615215 >eating freshly picked raspberries >bite one >crunch >wait what >suddenly, the taste of satan's asshole >spit out >half-chewed remains of stinkbug in raspberry >couldn't wash out the taste all day

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:15:42 2017 No.9615240 File: 79 KB, 403x353, the_smell.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9615215 >he didn't eat the extra protein that God gave him

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:16:02 2017 No.9615242 >>9615215 I did the same thing anon, it was pretty horrific. It was like a weird chemical taste, still get goosebumps imagining it. However luckily it hasn't ruined raspberries for me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:17:46 2017 No.9615254 >>9615242 I can still eat them, I just have to flood them and let them sit in water for a good 5 minutes first.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:29:17 2017 No.9615288

well if getting shot by niggers counts, so does
>live in apartment, have balcony
>threw party
>party over, cleaned up
>five days later, realize a glass is missing
>search everywhere, can't find it
>go out on balcony
>glass in corner of windowsill, not visible from inside
>inch of beer left
>two inch mushroom lump growing in glass
>fused to glass
>had to soak with boiling vinegar for an hour to dislodge the shroom

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:32:35 2017 No.9615298

>>9613374
>be me
>pretty poor for a while and hadn't eaten anything in days
>finally managed to get some dosh, don't remember how
>bought myself some pasta, sauce, and chicken cordon Bleu
>salivated the whole time everything was cooking
>took the time to make the plate look nice, had already been hungry for so long a few more minutes didn't matter
>set the table up all proper
>silverware on both sides, folded napkin
>get a glass of ice water to complete the vibe
>this is going to be better than sex
>finally sit down, plate in front of me
>phone rings, it's my brother who never calls
>get up to answer it
>trip on ethernet wire connected to laptop on the table
>both the plate and laptop come crashing down on the floor
>screen is broke and dinner is ruined
>brother just called to get a friend's number
>sit on the floor and cry

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:39:29 2017 No.9615321

>>9615100
I had a friend over once in elementary school, everything went normal until the next day his mom showed up at our house again and freaked out at my mom because she gave the kid fruit snacks. Fucking fruit snacks. Like this woman was seriously losing her cool, my mom eventually told her to fuck off and the kid was mutually never allowed at my house again. Helicopter parents are the worst. Whats even sadder is that the kid loved sports but his parents never let him play, even in high school.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:42:30 2017 No.9615333 >>9613440 You were playing age of empires at fucking six?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:44:27 2017 No.9615340 File: 67 KB, 640x640, 12191752_861126530668974_7640793666382382519_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9615298 Shit bro i'm sorry :(

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:47:14 2017 No.9615348 >>9615333 Not every child was a brainlet

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:48:45 2017 No.9615357 >>9615298 top 10 saddest anime moments

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:50:24 2017 No.9615362
File: 4 KB, 223x226, 47576567.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9613374
>hate banana bread as a child
>brother cooks banana bread
>I don't want any and can't even stand the smell of it cooking
>he tells me it's actually really good
>tell him no
>"fine then"
>few minutes later he comes in with bread on a plate
>"I made you something else. It's called Shay Bread and it tastes really good."
>5 year old dumbass me believes him
>put in mouth
>"that's actually banana bread"
>spit it out
>start crying
>mfw I was bamboozled into eating banana bread
>bananaboozled

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:51:20 2017 No.9615366 >>9615298 never answer calls from family that hardly ever call it's always either bad news or they want something from you

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:52:02 2017 No.9615369 >>9614945 Raw onions paired with sour cream are perfect on burritos because they provide their own natural crunch

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:54:33 2017 No.9615381 >>9613397 Its illegal for someone under 18 to use a slicer

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:55:12 2017 No.9615385 >>9613374 >be pair as fuck >really hungry late at night and no food >see white onions from foodbank >grab one >"can't be that bad" >peel some skin off it >bite into it raw >instant regret

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:56:54 2017 No.9615389 >>9613374 Got food poisoning from a Thai place, barfed for a few hours the next day, wound up in the hospital.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:57:50 2017 No.9615396
File: 36 KB, 407x600, poorchan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9615298

Man, that really hurt to read. Bless your mess, senpai.

>>9615366

Or maybe they just wanna mend some shattered family ties, edgelord. Our poorfag-chan had everything to gain from reestablishing connections to his lost bro considering he was broke as hell.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:59:03 2017 No.9615399

>>9613374
>eating a huge fucking peach my dad brought home
>shit was bigger than my palm
>it's fucking delicious
>get to the seed, time to eat around it
>why is the seed black
>try pulling the seed out, it fucking crumbles into some kind of goo
>cut out the entire middle of the peach and throw it away
Fuck you monsanto

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 21:59:49 2017 No.9615403 >>9615366 >it's always either bad news or they want something from you This is true. They usually want me to go visit them and shit like that. Selfish bastards.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:05:54 2017 No.9615422

>>9615333
I was playing a lot of things at 6. Age of Empires just happened to be my favourite for some reason. Also played Starcraft, Anarchy Online, Nox, Sims, and a few other things that I can't remember the name of. Lots of EA games, I know that much. I played GTA Vice City, Age of Wonders 2 when they came out.

I was also programming some time around this. It was just Visual Basic stuff, and my brother got me into it and showed me things. I found it fun as fuck.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:10:30 2017 No.9615438

>go to mcdonalds after months of staying in my remote cabin and drinking after my dads death
>really a fucking wreck physically/emotionally because I just came off a months long bender and my only parent left died
>this 20yo-ish cashier laughs at me because my hands are shaking
>looks at my eyes and see's my eyes are red from frying
>"OMG he's crying hahahaha"
>other 20yo woman working the drive though covers her mouth laughing
>walked out drove to a grocery store and bought hot dogs and buns
>went back to my cabin and drank and cooked hotdogs in the dark then cried more

I've never had someone literally laugh in my face before, That fucked me up even more

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:12:55 2017 No.9615447 >>9615298 shit... I gotta call my brother and ask him how he's doing.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:15:54 2017 No.9615456 >>9615438 I would've used profanity to cashier. in times like that, I'm a cracked glass, ready to shatter on anyone's nudge.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:18:02 2017 No.9615463 File: 53 KB, 474x595, 1435230861774.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9615298

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:20:09 2017 No.9615467 File: 34 KB, 540x720, poo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't know if I've ever had a traumatic experience with food but I've gone to use the restroom and seen something very similar to pic related.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:25:35 2017 No.9615477 >>9615467 What the fuck is that? A poop basket made of toilet paper? Why? How?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:25:40 2017 No.9615478 >>9615396 >Our poorfag-chan had everything to gain And yet lost even more.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:27:21 2017 No.9615486 >>9615477 It was a massively anti-social "fuck you" to the custodial staff. There's no real story I've been able to find. It's terrifically anti-social behavior. Think of the skill and time it took.

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 22:31:41 2017 No.9615499

>had to get my wisdom teeth removed
>older sibling volunteered to watch me post-surgery
>threw up in their car, not a big deal since I didn't eat anything
>gave me a chocolate protein shake after I slept for a few hours
>mom drove to their house to pick me up, spent the entire ride home vomiting acidic chocolate shake through my mouth and nose

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 23:28:22 2017 No.9615665

Something that happened about a month ago

>eating last few cherry tomatoes in container
>they're a little old and wrinkly but still taste perfectly fine
>pop last one in my mouth and bite down
>cherry tomato pops and mouth fills with taste of sun-screen
>spit it out into hand
>black rot all inside of the tomato
>"Oh - what the FUCK"
>run to the sink and wretch
>sun-screen taste fills mouth and back of throat
>spend next hour rinsing mouth out and swilling mouth wash

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 28 23:41:28 2017 No.9615706 File: 992 KB, 389x259, 1126.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9615298 Jesus H. Christ..

Anonymous Sat Oct 28 23:59:05 2017 No.9615770
File: 13 KB, 245x210, pls.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Ok.. New trauma.

>mother likes to bring me food when she goes out on Saturdays
>ask her for a burger king meal
>see Farmhouse burger, and spicy nuggets
>ask for that
>she brings me a 20 piece nugget, large onion ring, large fry, and farmhouse buger
>with a large coke
>kynareth save me
>end up eating most of the fries and onion rings
>half the nuggets and half the burger remain
>most of my soda is still there
>decided to eat the rest, because it definitely wouldnt be that great tomorrow
>im now slowly dying to death because burger king killed me until it was lethal
Fucking help me.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:00:02 2017 No.9615775 >>9614472 Did it ever grow back?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:00:24 2017 No.9615776 >>9615770 puke it up fag

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:01:25 2017 No.9615781 >>9615776 im trying but the muscles are being blocked by the pressure from the food im going to die.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:01:46 2017 No.9615784 >>9615770 Are you a woman or a manlet?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:04:18 2017 No.9615795 >>9615784 Anon have you ever had one of those burgers? It gives the Grand Mac a run for its money.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:07:36 2017 No.9615806 >>9614727 >Anon tells you a story about how he got pranked by some asshole >Somehow focus on the cook making a well-done steak What the actual fuck is with steak that stirs up autists like you?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:08:43 2017 No.9615812 >>9613553 Your body prob knew something epic was going to go down and gave you the munchies for high fiber stuff there.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:11:40 2017 No.9615824 >>9614289 Its almost like that stuff grows outside in the dirt.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:11:44 2017 No.9615826

>>9615806
Think of it like this. Any chef worth his salt would never have a steak well done. So it is obvious he was a shitty chef in the first place, and probably doesn't even know how to make a decent steak. When the anon asked for rare, it was only hard to eat because the chef was incompetent rather than it being a bad choice. Granted, it was a bad choice for the particular night, but rare steak can be a good experience if it is cooked right. Medium rare is of course the best overall choice, but rare has its moments.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:18:41 2017 No.9615860 >>9614494 Note to self, dry creamer attracts and kills roches.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:20:29 2017 No.9615867 >>9615770 The Burger King by my house is inedible garbage. Its drive-thru only so that must be why. They know people can't come in and demand better food.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:21:16 2017 No.9615872

>>9615826
>When the anon asked for rare, it was only hard to eat because the chef was incompetent rather than it being a bad choice.
Anon, the chef didn't make it "rare", he barely cooked to steak at all because he was just fucking with the kid. Seriously, what the fuck is with steaks and autists? Anon literally fucking tells a story about how he got pranked and you somehow end up on a tangent about well-done vs rare.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:22:26 2017 No.9615876 >>9615872 That's because he doesn't know how to cook the steak!

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:26:23 2017 No.9615898
File: 22 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9614612
>Anons fathers friends initiating him into adulthood
>first drinks, shooting guns, chance to be a man
>A bit of harmless banter about a steak
>refuses new steak and goes hungry, guaranteeing tantrum
>watches shrek with the babbies
>literally traumatised for life
>still angry and wanting 'revenge'

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:27:00 2017 No.9615900 >>9615037 Trills

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:28:03 2017 No.9615907 >>9615037 barks

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:34:01 2017 No.9615927 >>9615298 Internet hug bruh

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:34:53 2017 No.9615931 >>9614849 Sweet fuck. Was she from WWII era bombed out London?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:42:19 2017 No.9615968 >>9615781 Mineral oil for the win. Fight grease with grease!

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:46:09 2017 No.9615981 >>9615927 Fuck off.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:47:28 2017 No.9615984

>8 years old, standing around in the kitchen while my mom made macaroni
>Somehow she trips while carrying the pot of scalding water and splashes it all over my chest
>Starts freaking out, meanwhile I don't see what the big deal is because it doesn't hurt at all
>10 minutes later I'm in the worst agony of my life

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:48:18 2017 No.9615988 >>9615298 kek. that's the universe telling you to end the suffering.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:53:07 2017 No.9616024 >>9614463 Kids are sociopaths, man

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 00:57:42 2017 No.9616047 >>9615968 I'm already about to shit my pants anon. I don't need to grease the chute.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 01:16:13 2017 No.9616154

>eat breakfast fromcollege cafeteria
>get food poisoning
>worst fucking headache
>shitting and vomiting
>vomiting makes headache feel worse
>anything I consume makes me vomit
>can't get any sleep because multiple trips to bathroom
>this goes on for almost a week

This is why I don't let non-white people handle my food

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 01:21:43 2017 No.9616172 >>9615438 why didnt you either assault him or get him fired?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 02:06:22 2017 No.9616264 >>9615438 Jesus, I would've fucking snapped right there. I hope you feel better

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 02:21:55 2017 No.9616295 >>9614820 Then what are they made of because I found a bone in mine recently?

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 02:30:56 2017 No.9616312

>>9613374
I was a toddler and dipped bread into water or something and tried to eat it and it was fleshy and revolting. To this day I don't even dip my bread in sauce or anything. Not even butter. Toast or italian bread and all that I eat plain. I just can't do it. Something about soggy or wet bread is just fucking revolting.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 02:43:56 2017 No.9616336 >>9614383 :3

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 02:44:51 2017 No.9616339

>9 or 10
>Go to thai place with my family and my best friend
>Get really sick
>Have to use the bathroom
>In there awhile
>Dad knocks on the door and yells so loud the entire restaursnt hears
>ARE YOU POOPING?
>He does this like 5 fucking times
>So humiliated I just hide in the car until everybody else is done
>Still can't eat any food with peanut bases in them as a result

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 02:58:17 2017 No.9616361 >>9614973 It's licorice and you are a pussy

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 03:31:53 2017 No.9616439 >>9615381 it's not illegal. it's for insurance reasons

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 03:42:30 2017 No.9616471 >>9615984 When I was a kid my mom burned the fuck out of me with a cigarette and it took me like 5 mins to realize that she didn't jab me with her engagement ring.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 04:33:09 2017 No.9616598 >>9614486 kek

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 05:57:55 2017 No.9616771 >>9616471 My mom used to heat up a spoon on the range and burn my genitals with it, whenever I broke something or threw a tantrum

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 07:19:50 2017 No.9616944
File: 123 KB, 1024x768, pistachio-worm.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>eating pistachios while watching movie
>one makes a sortof weird sound when opening it
>turn light on, find something like pic related
>don't eat pistachios for years

>years later, eat some again
>spend half an hour vomiting my guts out shortly later
>turns out you can develop an allergy to them

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 07:58:40 2017 No.9616991

Be retarded 8 yr old me. At an aunt place. Thirsty as fuck. Go into the kitchen and find a cup of yellowy liquid just inches away from the stove. Look into it and think it's tea, love me some tea. Decide to gulp half of it mindlessly. Tasted like stale fried chicken for some reason. Realized it was cooking oil and puked it out the entire afternoon.
In hindsight, I should've smelled it first.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 08:00:39 2017 No.9616996 >>9616944 >turns out you can develop an allergy to them Just by thinking about it? Unlikely

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 08:05:49 2017 No.9617003

>>9613374
>be about 5 years old
>be a very quiet kid which was looked down upon by my family
>at grandma's house with relatives
>my uncle starts messing around tells me that something is candy and I should try it
>ends up being a small very spicy chili pepper
>didn't know what they were back then and ate it
>mouth is on fire, screaming and crying cause it fucking hurts as fuck
>family is laughing their ass off and do nothing to help me

I never forgot, fucking pricks.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 08:06:46 2017 No.9617004 >>9617003 Just think: You get to watch them all die.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 08:07:17 2017 No.9617005

>>9616996
No, I tried em again once, and got sick again within the hour. I looked it up, but it's been a few years, iirc it had something to do with a pesticide most pistachios were treated with or something like that.
Either way, I'm not trying em ever again.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 08:46:36 2017 No.9617067 >>9615981 No u

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:16:44 2017 No.9617124 >>9617004 Either that or choose their nursing home.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:23:13 2017 No.9617134

>>9614112
>He thinks this is an american site
Do you even know who runs this shit? The only reason everything isn't in moonrunes right now is because China hasn't invaded yet you stupid milk-before-cereal-ass mongrel.

>Be me, 6-7 years old
>Go to Perkins (Canadian family restaurant)
>Get something with beans (think it was salisbury steak, taters+gravy and green beans)
>All good cap'n - no wait shit something's wrong
>Barely even make it out of the van before I throw up
>Bean chunks everywhere
I can no longer eat beans.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:28:18 2017 No.9617149

>be like 15
>go out to dinner with extended family that are in town
>halfway through go to shit
>spend a solid 30 minutes releasing that beast
>walk out, everyone's finished eating and obviously waiting for me so they can leave
>sister asks me "what were YOU doing? with this shit eating grin
>tfw everyone thought I was in there masturbating

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:31:56 2017 No.9617155 >>9614264 RAW MEAT SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE POODOO BECAUSE THERE'S POODOO IN IT >:(

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:54:22 2017 No.9617194

>>9613394
A similar thing happened to me with hotdogs once. My father made some for dinner, and used a quarter of an onion layer as a garnish. Me being retarded and four, I tried to eat the garnish all at once. Ended up projectile vomiting onto my plate.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:58:32 2017 No.9617199 >>9615298 Mine wasn't nearly this bad, but I remember burning my dinner when I had like 10 dollars left to last me a few weeks. It was the only meat and vegetables I could have afforded to get that day, so all I could do was sit down and cry.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 09:59:51 2017 No.9617205

>>9613374
>attended corporate party
>it was at boss garden, a standing garden party
>went to juice dispenser of some orange colored juice
>went around and talked while holding juice and took a sip
>it was carrot juice
>i fucking hate carrot juice
>literally the only food that makes me gag
>thought it was fruit punch
>gagged in front of boss
>he saw it and suddenly went quiet
>ohshit.jpg
>gave an awkward laugh and try to drink it
>it's fucking disgusting
>feel nauseous
>slowly backing off and dissapears on crowd before running to the toilet
>puked all the juice
>boss still seemed mad after it
>went home early
I never clarified it to him, which probably a mistake in retrospect.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 10:01:35 2017 No.9617209 >young enough to still have loose baby teeth >eating a delicious crunchie bar >a piece of the honeycomb centre gets stuck under a loose tooth horrifying

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 10:21:01 2017 No.9617252
File: 13 KB, 320x134, east_carolina_council.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Got food poisoning from a chicken sandwich (Hardees) the day before thanksgiving. Drove two hours sick as a dog to granny's house. Try my best to eat this awesome meal puke my guts out for hours. Miss work the next day and had to make it back to class the day after still feeling like shit. Didn't go back to Hardees for years.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 10:23:26 2017 No.9617258 >>9615826 Hey, reddit, the correct way to eat a steak is however you like it

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 10:31:38 2017 No.9617283

>>9613374
>new relationship
>go to hockey game together
>after the game it was a long drive back
>decide to stop at cracker barrel to fuel up
>never been there before
>last time I tried to eat at one the wait was over an hour
>we both order the same thing, chicken fried steak with gravy and potatoes also some kind of succotash
>everything was delicious
>start the drive home
>feel the fury of hell rising up inside me
>date stops at gas station
>isn't feeling too good either
>each take turns using the bathroom
>liquid coming out both ends like a fire hydrant
>both of us sweating profusely
>had to stop three more times before being dropped back home

Haven't been back since because it's not convenient but I'm not sure I would chance it anyways.

>>	Bump Man Sun Oct 29 11:03:23 2017 No.9617374 >>9615362 Kek

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 11:07:30 2017 No.9617388 Being force fed raw kale and some other greens until I vomited when I was a kid.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 11:13:11 2017 No.9617400 >>9616771 Pics of burn marks?

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 11:50:51 2017 No.9617500

>Be me just now
>Reading this thread
>Start feeling a little nauseous
>"Uhh, maybe I should get some water"
>Drink a small glass of water
>Proceed to throw up

I don't even know why, all I've had this morning is matcha tea, but I ate some italian sausage last night that's been sitting in my fridge for a minute, but the use by date's a few days from now and I feel like I should've already gotten sick from it if it's bad. Certainly didn't taste bad, but hard to know with all those spices. I'll update if this continues.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:00:43 2017 No.9617523
File: 112 KB, 500x300, fireass.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Be me
>Teenage edgelord faggot
>Go to local wing place for dinner with the family
>Decide to get the hottest ones cause am badass
>Eat them, dying the entire time, feels good to feel bad
>Finish, mouth on fire, head back home.
>Flash forward to midnight.
>Sleeping
>Wake up to gurgling stomach and intense urge to shit
>Sprint to the bathroom, tear my pants off and sit on the throne
>Ass opens up the flood gates of hell
>A liquid stream of hellfire shoots out
>I'm on the toilet for about 20 minutes, every time my stomach contracts, more shit comes out
>I'm in pure agony
>Finally, it feels like it's all come out
>Drink two full glasses of water and head back to bed
>Lying around not able to sleep, stomach still a mess
>"NOPE NOT DONE YET"
>Repeat the process, asshole literally feels like I've been raped by a lion
>That barbed penis
>I wipe, look at shit ticket cause gotta know whats going on.
>It's literally all blood
>Toilet looks like I've just had a miscarriage
>Proceed to lie on the cool tile for a few hours only to get up to shit my brains out every half hour or so
>Finally gather strength and go to bed
>Wake up next morning having shit myself in the middle of the night

I had to take the week off school. By the time my asshole returned to normal and I had gotten all the wings and fire out, I was still shitting silt at least four times a day. To this day, I refuse to eat the hottest version of anything and am super leery of wings in general. I still like them though.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:02:29 2017 No.9617532 >>9617523 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ONc0-5v-DQ

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:08:23 2017 No.9617554 File: 24 KB, 728x410, 347538457345.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9617523 >not wetting a wad of toilet paper with cold water and jamming it up your ass to help the burning wow

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:15:06 2017 No.9617580 >>9617199 Lmao

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:19:41 2017 No.9617594

>>9613395
I think pizza is the biggest chocking Hazzard, I almost choked on some double cheese pizza because I'm too stupid to chew, if I didn't relax and run around like a retard like most people do I would have died in my underwear while watching anime and eating a pizza all by myself

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:21:25 2017 No.9617603 I drank almost an entire bottle of Kraken on christmas eve and threw up almost a dozen times all over the house and ruined christmas for everyone. My family now brings this up every single year on christmas and i hate it.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:21:44 2017 No.9617604

>>9617594
>pizza is the biggest choking hazard
Once when I was somewhere around 5-7 years old I was out eating pizza with the family. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to just eat all the cheese off of it at once and not chew. I ended up coughing up a giant ball of cheese on the table.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:23:24 2017 No.9617611

>>9613374
12 years old
Eating empanadas for dinner
Feel an awful sensation in my throat
Like something something is stuck
Try to cough it out but I can't
Dad makes me eat bread saying it must have been a little but of bone or something and it will help me swallow it
Finally stick my fingers deep into my throat while trying not to gag and pull out a massive splinter the size of a finger
Wanted to call and scream at them but dad didn't let me because he said they wouldn't deliver food to us anymore if I did

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:25:06 2017 No.9617615

>>9613374
I have a friend. Which in his younger age, his parents put him in kindergarden since they both working on office hour.

Little did they know, person incharge of kinderfarden is abuse especially for food budget. So this firend of mine forced and only feed with sardine in can.

As the abuse been found out. He been pulled out and transferred to better care.

But as for my friend he will never and cannot even eat sardine anymore, he will tremble and throw up at the sight and smell of sardine. Poor guy

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:26:41 2017 No.9617619 >>9617603 They love you

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:27:51 2017 No.9617624 >>9617500 You might need little rest. Reading from mobile will do that to you

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:29:13 2017 No.9617627 >>9617611 >Dad is more concerned over being able to order food from some shithole in the future than his kid swallowing a fucking splinter

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:31:11 2017 No.9617634 >>9616339 Thai food basically a mexican food. Chilli with beans.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 12:48:13 2017 No.9617700 >>9615298 >Completely broke >Nothing left but a couple frozen patty >Defrost them in the microwave because I'm a retard >Microwave was set at high >Fully cooked in the microwave >Fried in their own grease >Eat my patties and cry

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:14:11 2017 No.9617793 >dead broke and only eat bread with cheap cheese and drink only water >for years >fucked up my growth >permanent fucked gut >have a permanent sickly look since I don't eat bread anymore

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:27:04 2017 No.9617837 >>9613374 I managed spill tea to my eye.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:40:08 2017 No.9617891 >>9614971 >>9615174 I remember that .gif from /b/

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:44:55 2017 No.9617912 >>9615447 kek

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:49:22 2017 No.9617935 >>9615362 Did something similar to my nephew. I was frying rattlesnake and he wouldn't try it. I tell him "this piece" is just chicken. He eats it and I ask how it was. He says it was good. Tell him it was rattlesnake. Wouldn't eat any more of it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:51:13 2017 No.9617942 >>9617837 ....how

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:52:35 2017 No.9617955 >>9615467 >>9615477 >>9615486 Ah, yes. It's the good ol' poop nest.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:57:00 2017 No.9617974 >>9617942 When i was trying to open a door some spilled on my hand and i panicked. I don`t exactly know to be honest .

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 13:59:56 2017 No.9617990

>>9613374
>Was about 10 years old
>brothers and I got some kind of illness
>medicine horrible
>makes me gag
>Mom gives us Christmas cookie to take the taste away
>always the same Christmas cookie
>two weeks of medicine and Christmas cookie
>
>Mom is dead but we still make that Christmas cookie
>today am 55 yrs old
>still get nauseous when I smell that that Christmas cookie

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:00:27 2017 No.9617991 >>9617974 Sounds more like a squirt than a spill

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:02:39 2017 No.9618005

>>9613374
>12 years old
>fucking hate raw tomato
>mom is cutting up a yellow tomato-like object in the kitchen one day
>she hands me a slice and tells me to try it
>"is this a tomato?"
>"just try it!"
>I take a bite
>IT'S A FUCKING TOMATO
>spit it out
>never fully trust my mother again

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:07:46 2017 No.9618023
File: 137 KB, 526x436, 1476173710665.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9613374
>be 14
>always been a Chad
>sitting outside leaning against my girlfriend, watching friends play football
>she's feeding me cherries
>life is good
>she puts a cherry tomato in my mouth
>think it's a cherry
>tomato explodes in my mouth with all it's vile tomato goo
>nearly vomit from the unexpected shock
>girlfriend is pissing herself with laughter
>still hate cherry tomatoes today

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:08:45 2017 No.9618027 >>9613553 Huh. You must be an IBS-fag or something. I can eat a whole bunch of /raw/ onion and garlic without anything happening to me, though garlic farts are annoying and stinky.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:09:43 2017 No.9618032 >>9613374 Choked on a steak when I was 14. Haven't had one since.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:22:37 2017 No.9618078

>be retarded alcoholic
>run out of liquor, out of money for a few days
>the sweats kick in
>search house for shit
>find big fucking bottle of vanilla extract
>40% alcohol by volume
>guzzle vanilla
>the extract permeates all my senses, acrid and overpowering
>throat contracts, projectile vomit black goop before i can even remove the bottle from my lips
>puke more, even what little i actually got into my stomach has made my burps the same revolting flavor of the extract
>didn't even get a buzz
>permanent aversion to vanilla flavoring

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:22:43 2017 No.9618081

>>9614184
I'm always confused when people say they get blisters after getting boiling water poured on them.

I've easily gotten boiling water on my hands at least 10 times this year, and I've never once got blisters. At most it's red for a while. Do y'all just have shit reflexes or something? Do I have iron skin?

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:28:32 2017 No.9618106

>>9618081
Eh I'm not sure they were even blisters filled with anything. I just remember that my skin bubbled up almost immediately and the bubbles were just.... filled with air but the skin was thin in the bubbles. I remember ripping them up and nothing came out.

Also I had some really sensitive skin at around 8.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:53:47 2017 No.9618186 >>9618081 Their water is usually next level hot.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 14:59:57 2017 No.9618210 >>9617134 >A

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 15:02:52 2017 No.9618221 >>9618005 >>9618023 feel your pain. Raw tomatoes should be Holocausted™

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 15:04:01 2017 No.9618227 >>9618186 ...but if water is boiling isn't it stuck at 100 degrees? That's how heat of vaporization works, right?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 15:08:32 2017 No.9618243 >>9617388 poor kids with vegan parents

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 17:56:47 2017 No.9619012 >>9618081 If you have tha Aids your immune responce is weak.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 18:04:45 2017 No.9619041

>>9617603
This, except it was way too much red wine at a wedding. Vomited off of a small white bridge into the neat little stream next to some very disgruntled peacocks at the ranch. Then I absolutely destroyed the hotel bed. It looked like a murder scene because I was vomiting up all the red wine.

They still don't let me forget about it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 18:06:40 2017 No.9619052 File: 47 KB, 680x499, 38473847.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9619012

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 18:21:02 2017 No.9619123 Long story short I took one of my girlfriend's yogurts the other day and I didnt look at the expiry and then proceeded to take a fat bite out of what I thought was greek yogurt. It wasn't Greek yogurt.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 18:57:59 2017 No.9619297

Two stories. One with food, one with drinks. Food first:
> in Dallas airport
> eat Panda express
> thought the spicy dish was the mild dish
> proceeded to eat hot pepper thinking it was part of bell pepper
> proceeded to slobber into the sink of the nearby bathroom tears streaming down face while trying to wash out the taste from my mouth as people walked out
Drinking story:
> at a birthday party
> had drank before but only a glass or two
> at party, notice bottle of wine from home country
> get excited, it's my favorite
> start with a glass
> then another
> finished 3/4 of the bottle while people were drinking other things
> thought the wine didn't have an effect on me at first
> then, I got giddy
> so this is what being truly drunk is like
> feel good, start dancing
> progressively notice that It's getting harder for me to control my movements
> sit down
> friends sit down with me
> start talking
> I somehow turn the conversation into an existential monologue
> then, start feeling something coming
> get up to go to bathroom
> almost made it
> almost
> floor of bathroom gets sprayed with purple liquid
> head goes into toilet
> mother of birthday girl comes to try and help
> tell her to leave me the fuck alone
> after letting it all out, friends get me to their car
> I'm pretty delirious at this point, so I just stick my head out the window (on my friend's insistence) and mumble to myself about how we're all going to die over and over again
> apparently threw up a bit while on the road because friend tells me he had to clean dry vomit off the door of his car the day after
> never drank that much wine again

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:06:43 2017 No.9619334

>be me in 2nd or 3rd grade
>fish dick day for lunch
>friend has packet of tartar sauce
>lays it on the table
>slams his fist on packet of tartar sauce
>tartar sauce goes all over me
>smell is with me all day long
>to this day i can't stand mayonnaise or tartar sauce

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:34:13 2017 No.9619431

>>9614184
ugh, reminds me of a non-food related burn

>be in first grade
>making book report project with hot glue
>drop gets on hand
>OHH SHIT IT HURTS
>instead of rushing to put it under water, smear it to try to rub it off
>end up getting a burn about 500% bigger than i would have if didn't touch it
>Had a cool scab that i picked at though

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:35:27 2017 No.9619435 File: 120 KB, 1278x1181, ....jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9613446 >accuse me of shitting my pants

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:40:26 2017 No.9619462
File: 35 KB, 450x309, tfw the anal prolapse happens in the middle of class.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9619431
Burns are the actual fucking worst.

I remember once I was making a delicious meal of some pizza rolls and Crunchy™ Taquitos™™ and accidentally touched the inside of the oven door while taking them out.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:43:06 2017 No.9619482 >>9615499 Shit, I'm about to have my """"""""wisdom""""""""" tooth removed because the fucker decided to rearrange my whole fucking mouth Is it that bad?

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:49:57 2017 No.9619519

>>9618081
Depends how much water. If it's just a small splash it's fine-ish.
I once got quite some boiling water on my index finger. It's been two years and I still have very thickened and unsensitive skin there. Kinda got used to bite on that when thinking because it's pain-resistant.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:51:50 2017 No.9619527 >>9613374 Pre-school just tried white chocolate for the first time the night before white chunks of "white chocolate" bite into it cheese Never eat touch cheese again smell makes me gag never liked it much to begin with.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:53:56 2017 No.9619537 >>9619527 wtf is wrong with cheese i'd rather eat cheese than weird white "chocolate" shit

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 19:54:22 2017 No.9619541

>>9619462
Reminds me of the worst burn I got
As a kid I somehow decided that it would be fun to light up napkins then toss them into the fireplace
Thing is, the fireplace was closed and by the time I opened the fireplace door, I was literally holding a flaming napkin between my fingers

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 20:41:31 2017 No.9619728 >ITT: severe physical abuse of children Sometimes I wonder if I'm the most normal person on 4chan.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 20:54:22 2017 No.9619766 >>9619728 >willingly open, read, and post in thread you dislike >complain No, you're far from normal. You have severe autism.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 20:56:10 2017 No.9619772 >>9619766 >You have severe autism Still the most normal person on 4chan.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 20:58:55 2017 No.9619783 >>9617523 >lie on cool tile I thought I was the only one that does that >muh germs

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 21:06:20 2017 No.9619808
File: 173 KB, 1280x720, Ashamed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9617603
I got shitfaced at a family Christmas party and started to lose my composed normie act and started showing my crass true colors.

My family is convinced that I can't handle my alcohol and act reckless when drinking.

I was just being myself.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 21:15:14 2017 No.9619839 >>9619808 >getting drunk around family Big mistake.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 21:39:54 2017 No.9619927 >>9614463 this guy really did kill himself right?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 21:42:57 2017 No.9619938 >>9619927 I hereby task you with finding him in the afterlife

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 21:59:06 2017 No.9619986

>>9613374
>be me
>unsure if I have a lactose problem
>chilling with 4 girls at their apartment
>eat pizza, split pint of ben and jerrys with girl
>sit down to watch pooh bear
>foreshadowing.jpg
>the ominous rumblies begin
>bathroom is right across from the couch all the girls are on, no way I can shitblast a toilet in earshot of all these wholesome innocent girls
>"It's getting late, I'd better head home ladiez"
>my stomach is roaring, no way they don't hear it
>nearly shit myself bending over to tie my shoes
>"if I can just make it to the woods around the apartment I can shit my brains out in peace"
>get outside
>tfw the entire perimeter is surrounded by a solid 9 foot fence
>try to get into my car, but the shit starts coming out
>manage to get my pants off and by some miracle there is an industrial strength garbage bag in my car
>begin to expel the most hottest lavarrhea of my life, yelling in horror, squatting awkwardly in the middle seat of my car
>most of it gets in the bag
>find a whole box of tissues in the backseat to clean up with
>everythingturnedoutbetterthanexpected.jpg
>have to stop 5 minutes into my drive to destroy a gas station bathroom, but at least I preserved my girls' virgin ears

And that's how I found out I have a lactose problem. It was an oddly liberating and empowering experience. I feel as if I truly discovered myself that day, and nothing has really frightened me since.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 22:09:09 2017 No.9620019 >>9617990 hows life treating you grandpa?

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 22:10:52 2017 No.9620023 >>9618078 jej

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 22:16:21 2017 No.9620041 >>9619808 I did this once. The word "nigger" was used more than once, I'm told. I don't drink anymore.

Anonymous Sun Oct 29 22:27:37 2017 No.9620081

>>9619728
Oh Jesus. You just reminded me of something.

>be me, probably 10 or something
>be cooking pancakes
>little sister comes over
>i don't realize how hot the spatula is and poke her stomach with it
>red mark
>she runs away crying to my mom before i can apologize
>mom comes over, heats up the spatula, and pokes me multiple times
>welts all over stomach
>go cry in bathroom
>mom apologizes for getting furious later

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 29 22:53:35 2017 No.9620156 >>9614612 Would've been avoidable had you just asked for another steak instead of huffing off to go watch scottish ogre movie. Bet you thought you were giving it to them real good when you refused and socially ostracized yourself, hahahaha.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:30:00 2017 No.9620613

as a kid of course. at a friends house overnight, the next morning, they make scrdambled eggs, and as im eating them, someone says "i love how you mix in a raw egg just at the end". i couldnt eat them. that, and the salmon souffle that had a weird flavor. but, im a grown up now, and im not fazed by food problems.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:38:13 2017 No.9620634 >>9615770 I had one of those Farm House burgers and it was pretty decent Most BKs seems to range from absolute abhorrent trash to pretty good from my experiences there

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:40:35 2017 No.9620640 >>9617155 who really says poodoo?

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:43:02 2017 No.9620645

>>9615438
redo the memory. have the clerk look at you, curious, and say softly "you are crying, arent you. something must be upsetting you a great deal. Id be happy to step away from the counter if you want someone to talk to. in any case, know that i care and that you are not alone". or something like that. YOU can soften the memory by saying what you wanted to have happened. sorry you lost your father. you must have really loved him.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:44:45 2017 No.9620648
File: 69 KB, 500x398, 2DE9E4E1-5D4D-473D-9F35-08C75121D5A3-16047-00000D0618265E5A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>smoked a bowl with two other guys (dude weed lmao)
>guy who brought the weed has just enough to make another bowl
>other guy leaves so he let's me have the whole bowl to myself
>go home and eat three pack of pop-tarts
>can't look at pop tarts without wanting to throw up

Never ate a poptart since.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:47:00 2017 No.9620652 >>9616339 your dad needs to have his testicles removed, and stuffed down his throat. what an insensitive lout. i bet he laughs at images of the holocaust.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:50:03 2017 No.9620659 >>9614608 for you

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:52:57 2017 No.9620666 >>9617603 hey I just polished off a bottle of kraken at a Halloween party last night, made some Dark n Stormies (couldn't find Goslings rum) no puke, but I do have some big ol bruises from doing silly shit with the lads

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:53:23 2017 No.9620669 >>9618227 not if you fry it in oil. deep frying water makes it much hotter.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 01:59:29 2017 No.9620695 >>9620652 """""""""" holocaust""""""""""""

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:02:12 2017 No.9620704 >Almost 4 years old >At pre-school in the U.S. >Lunch time and mother forgot to drop my food off with me >Just want my PB&J >Already crying. They bring me lukewarm pea soup. >Cry for hours. >Ruins my day every time I remember the pea soup fiasco.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:02:33 2017 No.9620706 >>9614383 Kill yourselves

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:04:15 2017 No.9620712 >>9614472 How does your nail fall off from a beer dropping on it

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:10:38 2017 No.9620727 File: 310 KB, 1920x1080, 5B1DA181-4AC4-48F7-9F8C-449C2337A78D.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9614612 >I’d break his thumbs

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:13:13 2017 No.9620734 >>9615298 You sad little fuck

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:14:15 2017 No.9620738
File: 32 KB, 500x284, 1414972811286.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I ate strawberries for the first time when I was 12. My mom took me to meet a friend who was a farmer, and strawberries were being harvested so they let us take a big bucket home. They were so delicious, so I naturally ate a ton.

I found out I was allergic to strawberries and was hospitalized.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:32:03 2017 No.9620776

>>9613374
>be me poorfag
>one afternoon, opens fridge to search off food
>empty besides a carton of milk
>take it and just gurgle it from carton like an animal
>suddenly realized the milk is not smooth
>it has turned into curdle and smelled like sour cream
>retched and go to sink as fast as I could to wash off the gross taste
I bought mints afterwards on my shopping. Shit's nasty

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 02:46:06 2017 No.9620814 >>9620081 Jesus man women are fucked up

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 03:06:30 2017 No.9620872

>be 11
>home alone
>have 3 boxes of kraft mac & cheese
>boil water, add macaroni, add cheese packet
>wait i fucked this up
>try again with box #2
>boil water, cook macaroni, add milk
>fucked it up again
>open final box, if i fail i starve to death
>boil water, cook macaroni, reach nirvana and realize that in order to succeed i must strain the water before adding anything else
>do so, great success
>mom wonders where all the mac & cheese went and why there is cheesy water all over the counters

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 03:45:49 2017 No.9620950 >>9619927 Turkish father killed himself because his daughter made an unapproved marriage.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 04:04:56 2017 No.9620991
File: 44 KB, 1110x539, 13246383_688073114677392_7830209836447242292_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9613473
Every time I've had this happen to me, I've had awful diarrhea.
>>9617523
>hey guys let's all eat a chili pepper straight, it'll be easy for me probably lol
>eat chili pepper
>no initial pain, taste is really pleasant
>burning begins, start sweating a little, no big deal
>within 5 minutes my face was covered in sweat and tears
>running around blind but oddly euphoric for the amount of pain

Also:

>be me, 6 years old
>amerifat who loves whipped cream too much
>dad doesn't want me to eat that shit and get fat, so I never get to eat that much
>one day he offers me a bowl of whipped cream because apparently I get enough exercise or some excuse, who cares I'm about to eat a bowl of whipped cream
>it's not whipped cream
>eat the biggest spoonful I could fit in my mouth of sourcream
>scared off from sourcream until age 20 basically, now I love all the various dairy products

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 04:17:33 2017 No.9621010
File: 75 KB, 640x480, 1398808480780.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>6-8
>poorfag
>no food that i can make
>squirt a bunch of barbeque sauce on a plate
>maybe eat like 2 spoonfulls
>sit in my room staring a plate of barbeque sauce in silence

i still wonder why i just didn't drink it from the bottle.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 04:26:21 2017 No.9621021

>Be me, poor dumb collage freshman
>Decide to cook some bolognese spaghetti
>I like to put cream in the sauce to thicken it
>Do my groceries, literally no money left
>A bag slips when I try to set it on the counter
>The cream was in a glass bottle and it fucking shattered
>"Aw fuck, I still want cream on my spaghetti tho"
>Strain the glass shards through a colander
>Eat spaghetti with glass particles in it
>Shit blood for a whole week
Honest to God, dumb younger me though that was it, that fucking spaghetti bolognaise had killed me

And not my personal food trauma but
>Be 16, younger brother's 13
>Mom's deep frying something
>Brother's in the living room next to kitchen, I'm in my room playing videogames all the way in the back of the house
>Suddenly loud noise and my mother's screaming
>Pot fell out of stove and hot oil spilled on her legs and feet
>Run to kitchen
>Mom's in living room couch screaming for water
>Little brother asks if she wants tap or bottled
>Shove him out of the way, get a jug of cold water out of fridge, start filling up pots with tap water, run for first aid kit
>Older sister gets to living room and starts bandaging and curing and shit
>Dad comes back from store a minute later and drives her and sister to hospital
>Little brother just stood in the corner the whole time
>As soon as they leave go up to him and punch him in the face
>I remember telling him something like "you don't fuck up when things get bad"

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 04:38:34 2017 No.9621040
File: 660 KB, 1011x4978, whatisthisidonteven.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9619986
>It was an oddly liberating and empowering experience. I feel as if I truly discovered myself that day, and nothing has really frightened me since.

Jesus Christ my sides. Reminds me of this story a little but, Christ man just fuck up their toilet fuck their ears if your stomach is trying to self destruct.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 05:52:50 2017 No.9621185 >>9621021 >Tap or bottled Your brother is just trying to be considerate about her preferences and you go and punch him in the face. Shame on you, I keep a gallon of bottled burn water on hand just in case like any regular human.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 05:54:19 2017 No.9621187 >>9621021 >Punching the little sibling in the face This is how school shooters are born, i'd just get him once in the gut

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:03:00 2017 No.9621193 >>9621010 >being poor >having bbq sauce

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:27:14 2017 No.9621236 >>9621193 my moms priorities were pretty whack back then.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:29:41 2017 No.9621244 >>9618027 Naw, i can still eat raw onions just fine. Its sauteed onions only that make me sick

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:47:13 2017 No.9621280
File: 912 KB, 240x176, 1493554582312.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>eat something bad earlier in the day
>drink rum and melon juice as well
>stomach rumbling bad
>later that night, start shivering bad
>so bad I can barely stand up from my seat to move to bed
>cold sweats, get up and room starts spinning
>run to the bathroom and puke a lot
>back to bed when i'm done puking
>wake up in a cold sweat an hour later to puke again
>puke again an hour after that
>woke up the next day with shit in my pants, and shat some coffee ground-looking shits at least 10

worst weekend ever

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:48:55 2017 No.9621287 >>9620950 AHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:50:14 2017 No.9621292 >>9613560 i did that with a fucxing peach too once. >dropped peach on carpet floor in bed room >something green crawled out of it and under my bed at high speed >never bite into round produce without cutting it first ever again

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 06:58:03 2017 No.9621311

One time I was cleaning something for my dad and there was water in it I had to get out. I was just a kid and I'd seen this cool thing where you use a hose to siphon water so I went to the garage and found a random piece of hose lying around and tried it and ended up choking on gasoline. Fucked my throat up pretry bad

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 07:01:00 2017 No.9621314 >>9621280 >coffee ground-looking shits That's internal bleeding, i'm not trolling

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 07:10:43 2017 No.9621336 >>9617603 I just got over a kraken hangover from two days ago. Nothing too terrible, just ouked and fell asleep on an air matress

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 07:13:47 2017 No.9621345 >>9618005 >>9618221 Seriously. I hate it when someone ruins a perfectly good pot of chili with giant fucking hunks of tomato

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 08:20:49 2017 No.9621461

>>9617603
My aunt made me a drink that ended up being stronger than even I make them, then put more booze in them when I wasn't looking. I ended up getting plastered and helping the little kids build their legos for an hour before grilling 2 tri tips and fish for like 20 people. My aunt started pretending to be jar jar binks so luckily no one remembers me getting drunk.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 08:33:41 2017 No.9621487

>>9619297
>3/4 of a bottle
you know one bottle of wine is 5 drinks, right?

wait
>cries like a bitch after eating panda express peppers
>gets fucked up and turns into an asshole and people still entertain your bullshit

you actually are female, aren't you?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 08:40:59 2017 No.9621501 >>9615031 Holy shit I laughed way too hard at that

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 08:59:26 2017 No.9621530 >>9615984 Same here dude I was like 5 and I ran into my mom and made her spill boiling water all over my arm and shoulder Somehow I only have signs of it on my arm now

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 09:13:03 2017 No.9621548 >highly drunk and put some pasta with sauce in microwave >forget about it for like 5 days >open up microwave next time I need it and its all covered in mold/fungus still gives me the spooks

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 09:42:12 2017 No.9621579 >>9619482 not him, but I had it done and I was just giggly for a couple of hours.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 09:44:38 2017 No.9621583 >>9621548 >Cook rice in rice cooker after finals >Forget about it and leave for home next day >Come back to dorm 40 days later >"Why is my rice cooker so heavy?" I'd never seen so many colors of mold

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 09:45:11 2017 No.9621587

>>9615362
>be 8
>older brother volunteers to make me a pb&j sammich
>he throws beef bullion on it for lulz
>first bite is awful wtf.jpeg
>mom hears commotion
>we're poor as fuck and not allowed to waste food
>mom makes him eat the whole thing
Still comes up from time to time at reunions

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 09:58:04 2017 No.9621622

>be me, 11 or 12 at the time
>family gets stationed in Guam
>for those who don't know Guam is literally the poor man's Hawaii
>on our first night when we arrive we decide to get KFC because lord knows where else to go
>dirtiest restaurant I've seen to this day, a health rating of D would've been generous, I literally saw cockroaches scurrying around the kitchen
>too hungry and it's too late to find somewhere else to go so we dig in
>wake up at 1 in the morning in a flop sweat and just projectile vomit into the trashcan next to the bed
>I'm doubled over in pain for the rest of the night
>everyone else in my family was fine
To this day I haven't gone back to KFC

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 10:17:00 2017 No.9621659 >>9619482 It's probably just a case of anon being drugged up on painkillers and getting a bad case of motion sickness.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 10:39:08 2017 No.9621708 >>9617604 You were nearly killed by the cartoon trope of sucking down a big piece of food.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 10:42:55 2017 No.9621716 >>9621583 I went home for Christmas and left a damp towel in a gym bag. Now THAT was some good shit. (I bleached it then threw it in the washing machine. Turned out fine.)

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:03:00 2017 No.9621751 >>9615467 Spiderman we talked about this

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:14:43 2017 No.9621777 >>9620081 Equal punishment would have been one poke. But just.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:22:47 2017 No.9621793 >>9613397 never understood how people even do this. Were you not using the guard?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:31:01 2017 No.9621806 >>9613374 Being forced to eat Pineapple Pizza.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:33:28 2017 No.9621809

Developing a food allergy and no longer being able to eat most foods I love.

I've been to three different allergists and my arms flare up each time they do the skin prick allergy test. They dont know whats wrong with me.

I miss food, ck. I miss good food.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:41:47 2017 No.9621828 >>9621777 Those tripps dont lie

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:43:28 2017 No.9621834 >>9621809 Was it the lone star tick made you allergic to meat?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:46:39 2017 No.9621840 >>9621809 What can't you eat? Or what can you eat if that's easier to answer.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:46:56 2017 No.9621842 >>9619297 >crying over a chili >black out drunk from a bottle of wine the other anon is right, you're without a doubt a woman, and an exceptionally weak one.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 11:50:57 2017 No.9621855

>>9621834
>>9621840

My skin flares into hot, itchy rashes across my body when i eat any form of dairy or bread. I'm still trying to identify the triggers but i've kind of gotten it down to where I dont flare as much when I stop eating those foods.

Its been confirmed as a dairy allergy but I still had flare ups when I cut those things out, so obviously there are other allergies that im struggling to identify. So far it seems like bread, so I started eating gluten free bread which seems to help.

I'm looking for an immunologist because my last allergist said its got to be an immune system issue. I'm tired all the time. My nose runs when I eat. Shit sucks.

I miss cheese and wine. I used to love cooking.
Now food just makes me sad. Feels bad, man.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 12:51:06 2017 No.9621996 >>9613374 Probably the time my friend's mom made PB&J French toast. It was horrendous, I still have nightmares about it to this day

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:01:23 2017 No.9622026 File: 44 KB, 320x401, 1509067827089.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9615381 >Food service/restaurants >Following the law

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:11:10 2017 No.9622045

>>9617205
>Boss see's a human being cough a bit and gets SUPER uncomfortable
>Boss stares and stares at the human being that coughed. Aggressive thoughts racing through his mind
>Boss NEEDS to know where that human being went that coughed.
>Boss is boiling over. Where the fuck is that little pissant that coughed in front of me???
>Boss gets creepier and creepier. Must get inside the guys head that coughed. What was he thinking???

Your boss sounds like a weirderd.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:17:34 2017 No.9622060 >>9621236 Crystal meth not even once.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:27:42 2017 No.9622083

>wake up at 2am one night with the worst stomach pain I've ever experienced
>run to bathroom
>cannot shit
>end up lying down on the floor in agony for over an hour half naked
>finally am able to shit
>most massive blast of shit I've ever had
>felt better than any orgasm I've ever had
>literally get on my knees and start praising Jesus
>never been closer to God in my entire life than in that moment
>go to bed and immediately pass out from anal exhaustion

idk what I even ate so I'm always worried this could happen again

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:28:49 2017 No.9622085 [DELETED]

My earliest memory. I was two years old and on vacation in Seattle with my mom and dad. We went to the seafood market and they were pushing me around in a stroller. There were these big buckets of live crabs, lobster, and shrimp, my dad picked me up and held me over them so I could see. I had never seen any seafood and thought they were monsters in a bucket. To this day I won't eat seafood.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:33:23 2017 No.9622093

>10 or 11
>Mom gets Pizza Hut
>Greasiest shit pizza on earth but god it was great
>Eat almost half a pizza and go to bed content
>2AM
>Stomach does a backflip
>Wake up sweating with my heart pounding suffering a grease induced nightmare
>Run to the bathroom
>Stuck on the toilet with horrible greasy shit flying out of my ass for half an hour
>Stay on the toilet sweaty and doubled over for another half hour just to make sure
>Vow to never eat Pizza Hut again while staring at the floor tiles
>1 Month later mom buys pizza
>The cycle continues

That Pizza Hut location in particular always fucked me up but, since we were poor and Pizza was rare so I never turned down the chance to play Russian Roulette with my colon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:43:58 2017 No.9622117 >>9614383 im jelly

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:45:21 2017 No.9622121 >>9622045 Kind of, he's a sensitive ass so we always be careful around him. Probably offended by my gagging, who knows. But I just couldn't help it.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:48:09 2017 No.9622126

>>9619482
>>9621579
I got mine done without anything but anesthetic, so I was fully conscious and aware but numb except to the feeling of dull pressure.

The surgery itself was psychologically trying, the drills and prying and scraping and smell was a lot to take, but recovery was pretty cozy. The GF made me bone broth and smooth soups and ice cream while I played vidya for most of a week.

Get yourself a Waterpik to keep your gum holes clean.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:51:47 2017 No.9622134 >>9615288 thats actually kind of impressive

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:54:41 2017 No.9622139

>>9613374
>be American, 14 y/o
>on 2 month school exchange to France and Italy with 40 other kids, 3 adults
>have severe peanut and egg allergy, it causes me to go into an immediate anaphylactic state
>carry liquid Benadryl and epi-pen in luggage and one small bottle of Benadryl on me at all times since I rarely get to go back to the hotel or dorm where we were staying
>one day we commute for dinner as a group
>in the habit of asking about ingredients, no problems, only a few days left of the program
>in France, same day we visited Normandy beach
>small fancy restaurant, this is supposed to be a treat for us.
>I ask the waitress if the meal we have has anything I’m allergic to, her English is piss poor but she says “it’s only chicken”
>we get a tiny roasted chicken each
>ok this looks pretty safe
>start eating
>something is wrong
>thing has been marinading in a peanut based vinegar broth
>my throat starts closing shut, can barely breathe
>I down my pocket bottle of Benadryl
>tell my attending teacher that I need to go to my room, it’s an emergency
>she has no clue what I’m going through
>take Forrest with you, he has to pee
>Forrest is the disabled/retarded kid, we have to lift him onto the toilet since he’s wheelchair bound
>I push him as far as I can, and get to my room. my esophagus is barely open at this point and I’m gasping for dear life
> I slam my epi-pen and pray, Forrest is out in the hall, pisses himself
>I give it about 15 minutes. I can breathe again but I feel like hell
>take him to the bathroom & go back to the dining room
No one but Forrest and I know what happened that night. Jesus was watching me through those glassy eyes.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 13:56:16 2017 No.9622142

>>9615100
you reminded me of one of mine:
>18
>just moved out for college
>knew almost nothing about cooking
>put a thick frozen chicken breast on my george foreman grill
>grilled it for maybe 5 minutes or so
>put it on a burger bun and took a big bite
>still frozen in the middle
>spit it out and took a couple shots of vodka to hopefully kill bacteria i might has swallowed
>fortunately didn't get sick
>bought a meat thermometer the next day

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:00:03 2017 No.9622148 >>9622085 fucking coward lmao

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:05:43 2017 No.9622157 >>9619783 All that concern about germs goes out the window when the cool bathroom tile floor becomes the most heavenly place on earth.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:12:04 2017 No.9622173 >>9614612 Kek, all these fags pretending like they were hard shit at 15. I can relate anon. Life ain't easy when you're still that young

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:23:15 2017 No.9622202

>7 years old on my dad's boat
>wolfing down vienna sausages
>he lived on this boat after parent divorced and was always having his army buddies over to drink
>one of them tells me I'm eating pig dicks
>ruined vienna sausages for me for years

finally bought some at a gas station when I was drunk and super hungry and they really aren't that good anyways

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:38:47 2017 No.9622247 >>9621021 >"you don't fuck up when things get bad" Sage advice, anon. I wonder what lil' bro is doing now.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:46:50 2017 No.9622265 >>9613560 >>9621292 Could be worse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auF9gWaGCwo

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:48:27 2017 No.9622269
File: 6 KB, 356x312, 1387850168626.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Lets say I was 10 years old. Dad was drunk and carrying out sizzling fajitas to the dinner table. He tilts the skillet and a deluge of hot oil/juice spills down the back of my head and neck. Burned like fuck. I laughed about it thinking back on it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 14:51:40 2017 No.9622277 >>9613374 Getting Cheeseburgers filled with toppings when I just asked for Plain.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 15:02:40 2017 No.9622312 File: 463 KB, 1050x628, Jehovawitnessed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9622083 If you ever find out what causes it, there's some people that would like to talk to you.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 15:30:24 2017 No.9622423

>>9621855
I'm in the same boat as you. Its immune. Go see one, you'll be able to start handling those foods in small doses again. The problem you are running into is food contamination. "Contamination" rather. Cross-food issues happen constantly, and if you have an immune system that's out to kill you, everything sets you off. I'm on suppressants and while I cannot handle straight milk anymore, I can eat cheese again.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 15:32:45 2017 No.9622426 File: 186 KB, 960x1440, p16562_p_v8_ah.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >11 or 12 years old >go to movie theater >see "Outbreak" >eat entire large bucket of popcorn >get sick >puke my guts out >think I have ebola

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 16:13:41 2017 No.9622747 >>9615333 I was playing Age of Empires, Starcraft, and things like Dungeon Keeper around that age if not younger.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 16:40:27 2017 No.9622813 >>9613397 I cut off most of my fingernail and the skin underneath it while I was putting a tomato slicer away. I didn't feel it either.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 17:03:44 2017 No.9622880 >>9621461 Your family sounds cool

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 17:29:43 2017 No.9622975 I used to drink a ton of milk. One day I poured some and it was chunky and smelled awful. I haven't had a glass of milk since then (20ish years ago)

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 17:35:28 2017 No.9622993 >>9615438 lol, you faggot

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 18:17:01 2017 No.9623132

>>9622083
>>wake up at 2am one night with the worst stomach pain I've ever experienced
>>run to bathroom
>>cannot shit

This happens to me a few times a year. It feels like constipation blocking some horrible gassy farts. I break out in cold sweats and can't shit. It takes me over an hour to fall back to sleep. I've found fapping helps loosen things up

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 18:45:26 2017 No.9623227
File: 63 KB, 633x758, 832748723487.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be 8 years old
>visiting some family friends up in the Pocono
>my mom offers me a peach
>fuck yeah I want a peach mom
>she slices it in half
>immediately I see gnats have made the inside of the peach their home and there are fucking swarms of them around the pit
>mom rinses it off and gives me half
>I tell her I don't want it anymore
>"well, anon, those bugs like peaches too, now stop being dumb and eat your peach."

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 18:48:27 2017 No.9623237

>>9613374
My family moved when I was six years old back to Florida. For some reason, my family thought it was fine to pack Chef Boyardee ravioli in its plastic packaging in the hot moving trucks. My sister and I ate it one day, but I got full and gave the rest to my older sister. We both got very sick and were bedridden. I think I remember crawling to the toilet, having bad diarrhea, then crawling up to the back of the couch and continued to shit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 18:56:44 2017 No.9623276 >>9623227 what the fuck

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 19:09:22 2017 No.9623319

>in Prague in middle of summer
>hot, beautiful weather
>Czeching out the pornstar-looking locals in short summer dresses
>get a basket of strawberries and eat in park
>an hour later im bent over the toilet exploding from every hole
>black out and get amnesia
>wake up 36 hours later in a hostel in Berlin
>friends had to drag me all the way to Germany and I have no recollection of the train or anything that happened

tl;dr Czech strawberries gave me amnesia and ruined my interrail

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 19:16:02 2017 No.9623348

>>9613374
not really "trauma" but it got me suspended for 2 weeks
>be 16
>studying at this shitty ass HS
>its full of bullying and thugs
>im a big as fuck kid(6'3"), also angry all the time, have beef with almost every "cool" kid in the school
>go to cafeteria, buy lunch, its a sandwich with baked french fries
>nigger passes by and grabs a hand full of my french fries and walks away laughing
>go to the sauce section, grab one of those gallon of ketchup with the little pump on top, unscrew the lid
>walk where the nigga is
>he turns around looking at me like "WTF?"
>"you forgot the sauce"
>dump all the ketchup on top of him
>end up fighting
>teachers and security guards breake us up
>me and negro get suspended
>2 weeks later come back to school
>never had anyone mess with me at lauch break again

i guess that was the most unpleasant experience i had with food.
never really got food poisoning, so whatever.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 19:18:45 2017 No.9623358 >>9614275 Why'd you eat all those onions?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 19:30:25 2017 No.9623405 >>9620712 He broke the entire toenail, I assume. I had a similar thing happen to me when I accidentally stubbed my toe on one of my mom's shoes years ago. My toenail is still fucked from that.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 19:48:58 2017 No.9623462

>>9623405
Or excessive bleeding under the toenail causes it to die. I ran over my toe with a wheelbarrow full of rocks and used a heated nail to punch a hole in my toenail and release the blood. Shit was kinda fun and felt orgasmic to relieve the pressure.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 20:00:47 2017 No.9623507 >>9619808 >>9620041 I don't know how it is in other families but whenever we get together for birthdays or holidays we spend a couple hours complaining about the niggers and kikes we have to deal with all the time.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 20:12:48 2017 No.9623562 >>9617205 >>9622045 Zuckerberg just wanted to study him a little to attempt to pass as human better.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 20:17:31 2017 No.9623584

>>9616312
My dad fed me something he called milk toast when I was a little kid and had a stomach flu. It was BLACK burnt toast soggified with milk. I forced it down and than puked super bad. I think mom was at night school or something. I am the same way with soggy bread too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 21:45:28 2017 No.9623890 >>9622139 damn, poor forrest

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 22:19:22 2017 No.9624017 >>9623584 This helps the poisoned, a shake of burned toast, milk and a banana. Were you poisoned as a kid often enough this guy was like oh right the kids barfy must be the missus trying to off him again.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 30 22:24:04 2017 No.9624030 >>9623227 Weird But if your poor enough your standards are lower. Maybe she lived a hard life and honestly learned that between the bugs the fruit is fine.

Anonymous Mon Oct 30 23:55:01 2017 No.9624388

>>9619482
Everyone reacts differently. I got all four of mine out in one go after they knocked me out with an IV.

I woke up with a nasty case of double vision and numb mouth but otherwise I was fine.

My tooth holes never bothered me either, I never had to use any of the painkillers they gave me.

Anonymous Tue Oct 31 03:35:10 2017 No.9625016
File: 268 KB, 800x800, vomit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Finally remembered the worst food experience I've had, nearly repressed it from my memory.
>mom hands me her shopping list, tells me she's going shopping while I go to school
>write down some stuff I want on it, including chicken tenders
>come home and she has tyson chicken tenders
>tell her that's the wrong brand
>she starts getting mad, tells me if I want a different brand I should go to the store
>I'm only nine years old, start to explain that I can't go to the store alone and every time I do go to the store with her we get a different brand
>she slaps me
>puts tendies in the oven
>tells me I'm going to eat them no matter what
>don't know why she's so angry
>later the timer dings
>go into kitchen to eat tendies
>mom eats something else with me
>bite into one
>it's incredibly rubbery and lumpy
>tell mom they don't taste right
>she tells me to stop being a little shit and eat it, argues that they can't be different from other tendies
>eat the whole plate
>sweating bad
>go straight to bed even though it's only seven
>lying in bed in agony
>finally stomach turns
>run into bathroom
>sit down on toilet
>incredible pressure on abdomen
>pain is so bad I can hardly breathe
>tears are streaming down my face
>begin to beg God for death
>mom starts banging on door
>try to explain that I'm sick
>words get cut off by vomit
>suddenly a hot knife rips through my asshole
>vomit while having explosive diarrhea
>crawl out of bathroom almost an hour later
>mom cleans the bathroom after I pass out directly in front of the bathroom door
>mom never buys tyson tendies again

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 03:38:54 2017 No.9625022 >>9613374 I farted loudly in line at the Burgerville when I was a kid and blamed my dad in front of everyone. Got my ass beat later on at home for that one.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 03:45:54 2017 No.9625031 >>9623462 I need to know how you managed to run over your own toe with a wheelbarrow. It sounds difficult, but hilarious.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 06:01:02 2017 No.9625263 >>9625016 >tyson >the WRONG brand you really are a little faggot

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 08:29:18 2017 No.9625496 >>9622139 >full retard >named Forrest so did he ever invite you to get shrimps and shit?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 08:34:17 2017 No.9625505 >>9622093 Gotta wipe off the grease

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 08:35:54 2017 No.9625508 >>9623348 are you stuck in an 80s movie?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 31 08:48:14 2017 No.9625530 >>9625263

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]

/ck/ - Food & Cooking