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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 262 KB, 1022x800, peanut spread.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9608928 No.9608928 [Reply] [Original]

non-foods thread

>> No.9608934

Oh my god I got diarrhea just looking at the picture.

>> No.9608943

>>9608928
>corn starch
>0 calories

sue those fuckers

>> No.9608959

>>9608928
cellulose chips

>> No.9608965
File: 40 KB, 297x679, IMG_7014.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9608965

>>9608928
The pancake syrup is actually pretty good

>> No.9609103
File: 33 KB, 292x500, 51ddt2b8c0L.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9609103

>>9608928
i was hoping that the zero calories peanut butter would become a meme. keep spreading it pls

>> No.9609150
File: 23 KB, 520x520, 13019941.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9609150

This shit right here

>> No.9609162
File: 25 KB, 840x565, RAW_Wendys-frosty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9609162

Best flavored wood pulp coming through.

>> No.9609169

>>9609103
They gave me a version of this in a packet once. I think it gave me extreme shits.

>> No.9609182
File: 58 KB, 382x428, Olestra-Warning.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9609182

Remember this little darling

>> No.9609195

>>9609182
besides the shits, was olestra ok? i was around in the 90s, but i'm not sure if i ever tried it

>> No.9609206

>>9609195
No it was outlawed for some reason.

>> No.9609249

>>9609206
It wasn't outlawed. Companies simply stopped using it because the FDA correctly concluded that Americans were too stupid to realize the potential for abuse by consumers themselves.

Typically, Olestra would prevent the absorption of fats in your body and pass them somewhat safely through your stool. What they didn't expect is people eating high fat diets and eating foods with Olestra in them, which would make your stools so greasy you'd get diahrrea or have greasy shafts. Couple this with people think in they could eat more unhealthy Olestra-filled foods because of this and companies just stopped after consumers got upset over a product working as intended.

tl;dr Fatties ate Olestra thinking it was a miracle substitute but misunderstood what it did and complained when it made their bodies unexpectedly expell the fat in their food through their poop chute.

>> No.9609255

>>9608928
Who the fuck buys something like that? What possible appeal is there? I'm assuming this garbage is stacked on the shelf right next to peanut butter?

>> No.9609264

>>9609255
>What possible appeal is there?
If you love peanut butter but you're a fatty mcfat-fat and you want to lose weight?

>> No.9609277

>>9609264
A generous serve of peanut butter would be like 150 calories.
I'm all for making healthy substitutions to unhealthy foods but this one is just retarded. If you're that fat there are worse things than peanut butter in your diet or your some landwhale that eats half a jar at a time in which case you should eat a bullet before a synthetic peanut butter.

>> No.9609300

>>9609277
A single tablespoon of peanut butter is 100 calories. 150 calories worth is not "a generous serving", it's very little.

Anyway, I agree that you're right there are better subs to make, but I was just answering the question you posed.

>> No.9609400

>>9608965
The syrup is pretty much the only Walden farms thing I'll ever buy, everything else is a little too sketchy for me.

>> No.9609838

>>9608943
*Contains Trace Calories

>> No.9610444

>>9609249
>tfw greasy shaft

>> No.9610474

>>9608928
I tried that once. Just once. Hurt to waste a whole jar of...an edible.

>> No.9612011

>>9608928
When I was at my worst (eating disorder) a year and a half ago I'd only eat lettuce and rice w Walden farms. Cleaned me out so bad my shit 90% was just straight up water and some weird clear white gellish stuff

>> No.9612022
File: 221 KB, 600x821, Now Melts (what did it do before).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612022

>> No.9612036

>>9612022
I just realised this doesn't say 'cheese' anywhere on the bag.

>> No.9612043
File: 206 KB, 1200x627, 193529_v2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612043

>>9612036
The guy who gets paid to make up these names makes more than me, and that makes me sad.

>> No.9612050

>>9609182
Olestra was fucking awesome, I'm still pissed off about it disappearing.
I have a very tightly sealed asshole that opens only when I voluntarily release. Loose stools were never once a problem, and I loved the salad-dressing look of the oil floating in the toilet bowl.
So the product got pulled from all commercial products because of the weak population, but can I still buy the pure oil? I used to buy it in the form of chips, Pringles etc but I would gladly incorporate the pure oil into my own recipes.

>> No.9612055

>>9612022
I hate this shit. My grandmother used to buy it and it just is not cheese. It doesnt taste like cheese or act like it

>now melts
like fuck it does

>> No.9612058

>>9612050
There's a weight loss pill called Alli which works on the same concept as Olestra. It makes it so you don't metabolize fat so you just poop it all out. Sounds good right? But it makes every poop into an orange greasy nightmare. No amount of pooping makes you feel clean, you have to shower after every movement.

>> No.9612059

>>9612055
>I have a very tightly sealed asshole that opens only when I voluntarily release.
Lucky you.

On the bag it says Keep Refrigerated, but if it doesn't melt, what will happen if you leave it out?

>> No.9612063

>>9612059
It starts to revert to it's natural oil form and becomes extremely greasy and even more gross.

>> No.9612065

>>9612058
As a fellow American, I'm seriously disappointed that you faggots down own a bidet.

I mean, if you got mud on your hands, would you wipe it off with a rag and call it clean? Now try that metaphor with literal shit.

>> No.9612070

>>9612022

>now melts

wtf did it do before?

>> No.9612073
File: 400 KB, 811x1199, Poo in Loo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612073

>>9612065
>I mean, if you got mud on your hands, would you wipe it off with a rag and call it clean? Now try that metaphor with literal shit.

>> No.9612077
File: 66 KB, 448x324, unreal-sourcreme-2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612077

>>9612043

Some next level shit going on here

>> No.9612079

>>9612070
bubbled up and burned. You know that picture of slice cheese on a pizza that looked like the plastic was still on it when it was shoved in the microwave?

Same non-cheese shit

>> No.9612081
File: 70 KB, 448x320, unreal-sourcreme-31.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612081

>>9612077

>> No.9612082
File: 64 KB, 600x463, CZLwnhOWkAAzWgr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612082

>>9612077

>> No.9612321

>>9612077
>>9612081
that really is quite unreal

>> No.9612447

>>9612081
For what purpose?
It's got the same macros as actual sour cream.

>> No.9612509
File: 29 KB, 380x380, 0005210030220_A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612509

>> No.9612531
File: 200 KB, 1024x1695, butter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612531

>>9612082

>> No.9612549

>>9612073
Not an argument, you can use a bidet and wipe with toilet paper and wash your hands afterwards.
But probably you enjoy the feeling of shit between your fat ass cheeks.

>> No.9612556

>>9612531
kek

>> No.9612559

>>9612531
saved

>> No.9612566

Walden Farms is the worst, I don't buy any of their products but not because they're bad, but because I work in grocery. The boxes these shitty things get shipped in are complete garbage. There is no way of opening them without the boxflaps tearing into small pieces as you pull them open. Makes me irrationally angry

>> No.9612616
File: 827 KB, 1281x1281, egg yolk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612616

>some hotel buffets use these

>> No.9612633

>>9612616
Almost every one I worked for used some version of this on breakfast buffets.

>> No.9612668

>>9609103
It was like jelly. Absolute disgust.

>>9612616
Isn't it just eggs already cracked for you?

>> No.9612679

>>9612668
cracked, scrampled and bottled

>> No.9612765

>>9612058
they also recommend you wear dark clothing and bring an extra change of clothes with you when you are taking it....

>> No.9612769

>>9612447
and also has dairy. i dont get it either

>> No.9612776

>>9612679
Its not scrambled it's basically mixed eggs with preservatives.

>> No.9612797

>>9612776
so scrambled with preservatives

>> No.9612873
File: 371 KB, 640x358, Untitled1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9612873

>>9608928
>Natural Roasted Peanut Flavor

>> No.9612918

>>9612531
fucking lol

>> No.9612930

>>9612036
>>>9612022
>I just realised this doesn't say 'cheese' anywhere on the bag.
That's true.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't have anything to do with cheese except for the appearance.

>> No.9613393

>>9612043
>The guy who gets paid to make up these names makes more than me
They're probably lawyers.

>> No.9613428

>>9612549
>and wash your hands afterwards.
Washing your hands with soap and water doesn't sterilize them, you're still going to have bacteria on them from touching your butthole after using the bathroom and washing with soap and water. The best thing to do would be to use a wet wipe so there's no direct contact with your hand.

>> No.9613467

>>9613428
My point being, you don't have to touch your ass at all, even if you use a bidet. Just use enough pressure to remove shit then wipe with toilet paper and voila.

>> No.9613507

>>9608965
i too vouch for this

>> No.9613666

>>9612011
>weird clear white gellish stuff

That would be mucus

>> No.9613787

>>9612509
These things are so fucking hard they're like chewing on fine gravel. What's so hard about frying bacon to a light crisp and either chopping it or ripping it up into small bits?

>> No.9613889

>>9613787
they aren't bacon, they are bacon flavored soy protein nuggets

>> No.9614558

>>9613889
>>9612509
what are these even supposed to be used for?
>>9612081
this is baffling as well, considering real sour cream is pretty cheap already

>> No.9615090

>>9614558
bacon crumbs are for salads
I've grown accustomed to the taste, they really arent that bad

>> No.9615674
File: 2.08 MB, 796x720, frankenegg.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9615674

>> No.9615689

>>9615674
wanna bet that tastes fucking nothing like egg?

>> No.9615705

>>9612616
This is mostly just real egg and an acid introduced to prevent the kernels from turning green.

>> No.9615708

>>9613467
Bidets always leave me with a leaky ass a few hours later.

>> No.9615716

>>9612070
My mom tried to make a pizza with this shit. It just sat there looking like someone grates up a plastic bag.

>> No.9615720
File: 568 KB, 1000x801, shutterstock_147390839.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9615720

This bullshit. You're not chocolate you piece of shit liar.

>> No.9615746

>>9615720
what is this? white chocolate? cocoa butter?

>> No.9615748

>>9615720
Anon it just doesn't have any nibs in it, its still made with cocoa butter.

>> No.9615771

>>9615674
Gross

>> No.9615797
File: 39 KB, 465x302, shirataki.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9615797

>>9608928
I wonder what kind of vegetable fibre is in that peanut butter? It most likely is ground up newspaper, but it might be prebiotic or resistant starch which your body cannot digest but once it reaches the large intestine it feeds your gut bacteria.
Here is something like that that I used to eat everyday that has almost zero calories because is it made of glucomannan which is we can't digest but is a prebiotic. So in human terms it is a non-food, but does feed our bacteria which then in turn feed us. Eaten alone, it is like chewing on wet plastic fake food. But douse it in soy sauce, fuyu, tomato sauce, or whatever you want, it's not bad.

>> No.9615923

>>9615748
Oh boy. Here we go.

>> No.9616138

>>9615923
What?