Times you hurt yourself while cooking

[Anonymous No.9593409]

>be making some sausage in the frying pan
>they smell fucking delicious
>they're done
>poke one with a fork to take it out of the frying pan
>boiling grease jets out
>all over face
>would have been in my eyes if not for glasses
>people at work all ask me what I did to my face for the next few days
>just mutter incoherently about cooking oil each time

[Anonymous No.9593560]

>>9593409
Happened to me when I was 16. On Halloween and it was almost 10 years ago now.
>super hot pan
>way too much oil
>drop cold steak in a way the front slams down and sprays oil out
>oil all over my face
>some hit a tear duct
>I lucked the fuck out that none got in my eyes
>horrible scabs and people looked at me like I was an AIDS victim at work and school
>easily the worst pain I'd ever experienced and my family said my scream was the most fucked up thing they'd ever heard

[Anonymous No.9593567]

>>9593409
Wanked it after cutting some habeneros.

[Anonymous No.9593578]

Fell onto a grill with no shirt on. Butned half my back.

[Anonymous No.9593602]

just got an oil burn below my middle fingers nail 2 days ago when making steaks.

on time i was cutting myself a sandwich with a bread knife. the teeth lost the grip on the crust and i hacked it into my left thumb. thumb was more or less split but just on the edge. i was tempted to just rip the peace of but it hurt to much so left it there. grew back together but i can still see the scars 5 years later

>>9593567
feels good man. it's like shaving your face and applying aftershave; a sharp but cool and refreshing touch.

[Anonymous No.9593614]

>>9593409
Worst single burn was baking a frozen pizza nearly blackout drunk. My hand touched the top of the door, but my reaction time was so bad I can remember hearing a sizzle. I could even smell it I think. If I wasn't wasted I imagine it would have been pretty painful.

[Anonymous No.9593618]

[Anonymous No.9593636]

>>9593618
i hope you get shot, fucking edgy faggot

[Anonymous No.9593643]

>>9593636
Don't do this. Its what he wants, just report. I know that isn't as emotional gratifying, but if you want it to change, its what you need to do.

[Anonymous No.9593648]

>>9593643
already done. but this faggot has been spamming /ck/ the entire day and the mods are being useless fucking garbage as usual

[Anonymous No.9593658]

I cut my thumb and nail while grating cheese for pizza. Missing a piece of your nail is a very unpleasant feeling.

[Anonymous No.9593675]

>>9593560
Ja/ck/?

[Anonymous No.9593684]

>>9593636
>>9593643
>>9593648
If you don't like it, fuck off back to redit

[Anonymous No.9593707]

>>9593618
>could only fap to 2D scat until a couple months ago because 3D shit is disgusting
>kinda find this arousing now but not enough to pop a boner
Boy can't wait for my next progression

[Anonymous No.9593708]

>>9593675
>jack
>using hot oil
As if.

[Anonymous No.9593761]

>>9593567
>not even thinking of washi by your hands after cutting habeneros
Where did your parents go wrong, anon?

[Anonymous No.9593789]

Happened after my first few times using a mandolin a couple of years ago.

>slicing up a cucumber
>get down to the very end of the cucumber
>didn't slow down in my slicing speed nor did I use the holder tool that came with the mandolin
>managed to cut a very sizable chunk of the pad of my left index finger

I learned why people fear/respect mandolins from that.

[Anonymous No.9593794]

>Cooking chicken with herbs in olive oil
>Throw in a little vinegar
>Oil begins to jump and a flame bursts out of the pan
>Burns my hand
>In a complete panic I drop the pan from the fire and it falls on the floor
>Burning oil everywhere
>Floor absolutely ruined
>Hand burned

My landlord wasn't pleased.

[Anonymous No.9593795]

>>9593789
>mandolin

[Anonymous No.9593803]

>>9593409
>Old dude at work
>Grease fire in the kitchen
>Used water to put it out
>3rd degree burns

I worked in a kitchen and we'd use milk to put out fires in the deep fryer. Sure there was a legit fire extinguisher but using it would require disinfecting and cleaning up a good portion of the kitchen. And you never want the overhead extinguishers to go off as the mess would require shutting down the entire kitchen.

[Anonymous No.9593809]

>>9593795
Yep. Not gonna lie, I felt like I needed a 'tard helmet and find the short bus to ride on.

[Anonymous No.9593810]

>>9593794

Here's another one;

>Buy a brand new knife for 15 euros or something
>It's sharp as shit
>Watched a video from gordon ramsay
>Tells you the best way to cut an onion
>Want to practice it
>Cut an onion 'that way'
>Feel a sting
>Slice the tip of my middle finger off
>Starts to bleed
>The tip hangs from my finger just by a little bit of skin
>Push it back on
>Apply bandage with a lot of pressure
>Go to the doctor
>Don't need stitches or anything it'll heal he says
>Now have a middle finger without a finger print

[Anonymous No.9594101]

Severed a tendon in my pinky.

It's getting better.

[chop No.9594115]

Tried to flip a pancake in mid-air but it kinda stuck to the pan and landed on my unclothed belly.

Apart from that I don't think I've hurt myself beyond the occasional nicked finger.

[Anonymous No.9594121]

>>9594115
Randy BoBandy?

[Anonymous No.9594147]

>>9593803
>I worked in a kitchen and we'd use milk to put out fires in the deep fryer
Bullshit.
For the purposes of putting out a grease fire, milk is just as awful as water.
If you're too much of a retard to place a lid on the frier, then you shouldn't operate one.

[chop No.9594150]

>>9594121
No but thanks. Never know who that guy was before.

[Anonymous No.9594205]

>>9593409
>broiler burns

[Anonymous No.9594211]

Literally the only time I have ever hurt myself cooking is when I tried to grab something from the oven and accidentally brushed against the broiler.

[Anonymous No.9594221]

>>9593409
>hanako goes to /ck/

[Anonymous No.9594274]

>microwave something on a plate
>plate explodes as I take it out
tfw too dumb to microwave food

[Anonymous No.9594299]

>>9593409
>cooking gumbo
>searing chicken thighs in a cast iron skillet to render fat
>flip thighs over
>smoking hot oil pops somehow, sprays over my face
>had nasty painful burns on the left side of my face for like 2 weeks after
Amazingly, it didn't scar at all. Ever since then I cook the chicken on the rear burner, use long tongs to flip them, and angle my body away from the stove lol

[Anonymous No.9594303]

>>9593567
Habeneros are mediocre anyhow. Once you get yourself adapted to that level of spiciness, you realize they taste fruity.

[Anonymous No.9594323]

>>9593809
he was more than likely fucking with you cause you incorrectly spelled what you meant to
>mandolin
cool music instrument
>mandoline
julienne cutting tool

[Anonymous No.9594342]

> Female sous chef at a small restaurant
> Aiming to be head chef by next year
> Looking to get married on a weekend to my fiancee
> Forget to clean up the grease on the floor
> Caring a huge ass pot filled with boiling water
> trip on the grease comically and fall to the ground
> boiling water scalds my face
> Dont get married

Fast forward 3 years later

> Recover from incident, face is not mangled but still single
> Work as a waiter because of trauma
> Serving a table with a family of four
> Start pouring coffee but accidentally spill some
> Apologize
> Get called a bitch
> Father of the family choke slams me onto the table
> Proceeds to pour scalding coffee on my chest
> Slaps me after
> Cry on the floor as they finish their meal

Canada is a harsh mistress

[Anonymous No.9594344]

>be me
>baking apple pie in a springform pan
>after its done, take off the outer part of the form
>bottom of the cake sticks to the base of the form, take huge knife
you know what comes next
>absentminded, I hold against the base with my left hand thumb and indicator finger, cutting towards myself to get the cake off the base

cut myself in the finger as shown in the pic, half a cm deep. Bled all over the place, good times.

Remember, kids: don't be fucking stupid

[Anonymous No.9594351]

>>9593614
The same exact thing happened to me a few years ago, except I didn't notice until I was already eating and saw a crispy brown spot on the back of my hand.

[Anonymous No.9594363]

>>9594344
Why would you bake a pie in a springform pan? And how the fuck did the pie turn into a cake?

[Anonymous No.9594381]

>>9594344
not a native speaker, pardon my French

[Anonymous No.9594395]

>>9593789
Sometimes you gotta let the butt of the cucumber go

[Anonymous No.9594408]

not mine and not an injury but i haven't seen it posted in forever so here we are

[Anonymous No.9594411]

>>9594363
not a native speaker, I made whatever that is, pie or cake

[Anonymous No.9594441]

>put on oven mitts
>remove cast iron dutch oven from oven
>open, examine osso bucco
>remember I wanted to add some basil leaves
>remove mits, retrieve leaves
>drop em in
>open oven
>grab dutch oven with my bare hand
>fuck

[Anonymous No.9594463]

In boyscouts/cubscouts I would wake up at 4am to start on breakfast for the troop because It was my job and I was good at it.
I had this radical camo raincoat that I would wear everywhere because holy shit it was camo.
I felt so safe that morning drizzle as I lit the grill and started mass producing shitty twelve-year-old's scrambled eggs.
The raincoat was on fire before I even knew it. Stop drop and roll was doing jack shit with whatever fuel this raincoat was made out of, and by the time I took it off my clothes had caught. Resulting in a shrieking lit child running in circles between tents, spilling the propane grill, and eventually jumping into the lake.
I was not a very smart child. Luckily I didn't get any permanent damage.

>>9594299
like this?

[Anonymous No.9594472]

>>9593409
Making instant mash in uni. Poured boiling water all over my hand and scalded the fuck out of it

Very not fun

[Anonymous No.9594495]

>>9594274
>plate explodes

what was it made of anon?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRUSQm5ZskQ

[Anonymous No.9594501]

>>9594342

[Anonymous No.9594505]

>read into hot oven
>forearm grazes top metal edge for less than a second
>burn scar for months
I've done this way too many times

[Anonymous No.9594510]

>>9594505
*reach

[Anonymous No.9594514]

>>9594505
you are an idiot, put on glove or use those things to take things in and out from oven

[Anonymous No.9594518]

>>9594514
>you in charge of reading comprehension
He burned his forearm, oven mitts don't go above the wrist

[Anonymous No.9594519]

>>9594344
i pretty much have had that exact same cut from absentmindedly cutting some potatoes, though it was probably only half a centimeter deep

[Anonymous No.9594527]

>>9594441
had that with my cast iron shortly after I got it, entire inner side of my hand burnt

[Anonymous No.9594529]

>>9594518
>oven mitts don't go above the wrist

[Anonymous No.9594531]

>>9594518
lol in what kind of shithole do you live? of course they do

[Anonymous No.9594536]

>>9593409

>cooking pasta for +400 people
>water not boiling fast enough
> put on more kettles
> pressure increase
>pour pasta into a strainer
> spill boiling pasta water on -regular- shoes
> burned the top of my feet

[Anonymous No.9594537]

>>9593761
>Implying simple water & soap is going to make a difference.

[Anonymous No.9594545]

>>9594342
I understood those references

[Anonymous No.9594547]

>work at a gastro pub
>Have to prep veggies all morning
>Cutting up heads of broccoli in to this big ass container
>Bored asf so not paying attention
>Feel a sharp pain
>Cut a clean slice of my finger straight off
>Didn't hurt, but bled like a motherfucker

[Anonymous No.9594565]

>>9594527
it lasts an annoyingly long time
also this was before I knew not to use cold water/ice on burns and instead to use a damp towel and immediately apply pressure, so it lasted even longer

[Anonymous No.9594576]

>>9594547
>Feel a sharp pain
>Didn't hurt
anon, you are confused

[Anonymous No.9594603]

>>9594547
that looks fucked
did you eat the slice

[Anonymous No.9594605]

>>9594576
Ok, you got me. It was a very short lived pain, no lasting issues after the initial accident

[Anonymous No.9594608]

>>9594576
anon, he works at a gastro pub. he's clinically retarded.

[Anonymous No.9594618]

>>9594529
probably some shit like either of these

[Anonymous No.9594647]

>>9594618
grim

[Anonymous No.9594652]

>>9594342
kek I understood that reference

[Anonymous No.9594681]

>>9594303
habaneros taste like milk. raw habaneros are easily the worst tasting chili in existence and if not for the fact that they can be roasted they would be irredeemable

[Anonymous No.9594709]

>>9594463
Yeah basically

[Anonymous No.9594718]

>>9593810
>Now have a middle finger without a finger print
You are all set to become a supervillain now, anon.

[Anonymous No.9594721]

>>9594101
dude go see a doctor. if it was completely severed it will not grow back together by itself. Even if you have surgery there is a chance it may not get completely well again.

[Anonymous No.9594757]

>>9594299
What do you use the chicken fat for in gumbo?

[Anonymous No.9594760]

>>9594757
The roux. Just add flour and seasonings after the chicken and sausages are done rendering.

[Anonymous No.9594772]

>>9594411
Recipe?
Don't care that you'll be using non freedom weights.

[Anonymous No.9594791]

>>9594760
I think I've been making gumbo wrong.

[Anonymous No.9594910]

>>9594791
It doesn't have to be chicken fat, you can also use lard, bacon drippings, duck fat, etc. But pick something flavorful that matches the type of gumbo you're making instead of using generic flavorless cooking oil.

[Anonymous No.9594944]

>>9594772
https://youtu.be/WbvoOCN3R8M

[Anonymous No.9594981]

>>9593409
>making spaghetti and home made cheesy bread from scratch
>everything is going well, sauce is cooking down
>start to make bread
>getting ingredients out and ready
>flour, eggs, butter, cheese all on counter
>open spice cupboard for some salt
>vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg all fall out
>try to catch them all but critically fail
>vanilla lands in sauce, cinnamon in the flour, nutmeg in the eggs
>eggs tip over
>try to rescue them but slip on the floor, hit the flour and the eggs
>sauce pan tips somehow and splatters all over me and the floor
>flour bowl doing that weird oscillating roll thing bowls can do
>rolls across the edge of the sink and hits the pans drying
>pan falls on head while another pan hits the sink disposal switch
>silverware in the sink slips into the disposal and starts making noise and throwing sparks
>roommate runs into the kitchen just in time to put the fire out on the curtains
>had to go to the hospital with a concussion and burns on my legs and thigh

I still get final destination jokes even though this happened years ago.

[Anonymous No.9595001]

>>9594115
>cooking without clothes on
you got what you deserved

[Anonymous No.9595010]

>>9593409
Had to cut extra lime wedges for guests after the 4th round of tequila shots and beers in between and I picked my finger pretty deep cuz the knife was kinda dull and I exerted too much strength

[Anonymous No.9595062]

I got a burn on the inside of my right arm from accidentally touching my pan

[Anonymous No.9595265]

>>9594537
Wear latex gloves you retard or is this just kitchen worker knowledge?

[Anonymous No.9595321]

I stuck my finger in a blender once.

It got about 10 small cuts and looked much worse than it actually was. After about five minutes, it stopped bleeding on its own.

[Anonymous No.9595342]

>>9594718
He just does every crime with his one middle finger

...i would actually watch that

[Anonymous No.9595462]

>>9593409
Burnt myself with a little oil, and cut my finger using a mandolin slicer (fuck those things).

[Anonymous No.9595478]

>>9593578
jesus

[Anonymous No.9595507]

>>9594495
I don't know, some kind of ceramic

[Anonymous No.9595529]

>>9595462
>>9593789
don't blame the tool if you don't know how to use it

[Anonymous No.9595587]

>>9593409
Thanks for this thread, this is all gonna stick in my memory and hopefully prevent me from doing some horrible shit to myself.

[Anonymous No.9595591]

>>9593560
>not letting your steak hit room temperature first
You deserved it.

That sounds god awful though, do you still have marks on your face?

[Anonymous No.9595596]

>>9595529
I don't blame the tool for my fuck up. I was a bit too self-assured, thinking "oh, I won't cut myself". Yeah, I proved myself wrong with that.

[Anonymous No.9595605]

So this happened to my leg last month. I spilled boiling ramen noodles on it. Ended up getting infected and I had to see the doctor twice. Burns are no joke friends, stay safe.

[Anonymous No.9595613]

>>9595605
why did i click this

[Anonymous No.9595630]

Not me but friend:

>Cooking dinner together, we make an awesome baked salmon with brown sugar habanero glaze.
>We start getting a little frisky later and she puts my hand down her pants

[Anonymous No.9596209]

The worst I had while cooking is when I was cooking chicken in oil. It popped as usual and a drop landed directly on my nose. Nothing majorly painful since it was a small drop, but it stung for a little afterwards and there was some discoloration on the skin. But I got a fat ugly nose so it's fine, right?

Other thing happened while I was running food at the restaurant I worked at. I foolishly didn't grab a napkin to cover my wrist since I didn't think it was that hot. I get halfway to the table and feel an intense searing in my wrist, but I tough it out because momma didn't raise no bitch. Got a nasty blister afterwards and the discoloration is still there.

[Anonymous No.9596266]

>>9595265
>wearing latex gloves in your own kitchen
absolutely cucked desu, as long as your hands are clean you should use bare hands. gloves leach the flavor of whatever the glove is made out of into the food even if only slightly.

[Anonymous No.9596309]

I once cut very deeply into my hand meat between my thumb and pointer. Was opening a can of soup and had my fingers positioned in place to stabilize the pull. I saw something white exposed and no'd to the emergency room. Walked up to emergency room desk saying pls repeatedly. Lots of stitches and threw out a couple blood stained rags.

[Anonymous No.9596315]

I was making rice pudding and wasn't paying attention to the heat after I stopped stirring for a bit. When I went to go stir it again the whole thing kinda "popped" and sent burning hot milk-starch paste and rice flying, ended up burning the top of my left hand and part of my leg decently.

[Anonymous No.9596331]

>>9594981
Sounds like you rube goldberged yourself.

[Anonymous No.9596355]

>>9595605
Eugh. Hope you’re feeling better.

[Anonymous No.9596383]

>>9593648
>useless fucking garbage
What are you talking about? They managed to delete three of my threads and ban me for a month, all because I posted on-topic material including OC. They're doing a fantastic job of keeping the board safe for McDonald's and Monster Energy Drink shills.

[Anonymous No.9596387]

>>9593789
Just wait until you try a hammered dulcimer.

[Anonymous No.9596703]

>>9594495
Sometimes plates just explode.

[Anonymous No.9596708]

>>9594518
>not wearing a full body Nomex racing suit
plebs

[Anonymous No.9596730]

>>9595591
>>not letting your steak hit room temperature first
>You deserved it.
Nigger it's better to have a cold steak to start with because the inside stays more rare while you get a good sear on the outside.

>>9595630
Nothing wrong with that, now lick it until the burning stops.

[Anonymous No.9596764]

>cut lemons
>juice gets on a cut on your finger that you didn't even know you had

[Anonymous No.9596785]

>Making Lasagna
>taking the dish out of the oven with one hand
>I dont remember exactly how but the dish starts sliding
>like a fucking genius i put my arm underneat
>tfw you hear your skin sizzling
>I didnt want to waste the food so i endured the pain for a few seconds and practically jumped to the "other side of the kitchen" where i put the lasagna on the counter
>I strangely have no scar whatsoever but my whole forearm was bloated for a week

[Anonymous No.9596796]

>>9593810
Pics of finger?

[Anonymous No.9596801]

>>9593409
>be 21
>wants to make chicken parm for SO
>smokes too much terrible weed
>grabbed the frying pan while taking it out of the oven
>twice
>in one night


I burn myself a lot so I already had medical grade burn cream in the fridge from pouring boiling water on my arm trying to strain pasta with a lid with my non-dominant hand, and i ate dinner like a bitch.

[Anonymous No.9596806]

>>9596801
forgot to include that, since i had burnt one hand already, i grabbed the pan with each hand once, so holding my fork and knife after was fucking awful.

im not proud.

[Anonymous No.9596862]

>>9594981
holy shit I know this is 4chan but I so want this to be real

[Anonymous No.9597220]

>>9594981
Kek, found the fourth stooge.

[Anonymous No.9597300]

One time I was cutting an onion while holding it in my hand like a mouthbreathing retard.
Cut my finger so deep I passed out from seeing all the blood coming out, I think it was because of vasodilation causing a drop in blood pressure.

[Anonymous No.9597318]

>>9593707
anal vore is a fuckin trip

[Anonymous No.9597338]

>>9594342
Motherfucking Canadian PSA's

[Anonymous No.9597362]

>>9593810

I'm sure you know now, but when you cut the onion horizontally just hold the thing with a folded over dish rag

[Anonymous No.9597465]

>Worked at a mid-tier nonchain restaurant throughout college
>Someone steals the knife sharpeners
>All of them
>Owner too cheap to buy new ones, we just have to use dull knives.
>Prepping pineapples, being dumbass kid working their first non fast food job I didn't know to tuck my fingers when cutting
>Knife slips out and nearly cuts my finger off
>Bleed all over pineapple and prep station
>"Holy shit anon, do you want to go to the hospital?
>"Nah, I'm okay."
>Wash up, double bandage, double glove
>Go back to work only stopping to change my bandages every 15 mins or so because I kept bleeding through them
>Owner buys new knife sharpeners that day
>Kept working there until I graduated and moved away
>Haven't cut myself cooking since.
pic related, it's my 12 year old scar.

[Anonymous No.9597555]

I was cooking bacon with my shirt off, as I normally do at least once a week, when some moisture in the bacon makes the grease pop really largely and it splatters all over my nips and chest. That was fun.

[Anonymous No.9597580]

>working at a fish and chips place
>motherfuckin beer batter up in this shit
>for those of you not in the know the proper way to put beer battered fish in the fryer is to hold in the oil and let it cook partially before putting it in all the way
>if you just drop it in it will hit the bottom of the basket and the batter will stick and shit will end badly
>doing order of fish
>piece slips out of my fingers
>FUCK
>quickly grab it with the tongs and lift it so it doesnt stick
>piece looks alright
>bit of batter on the tongs
>gonna have to get that off or it will cook on and be a pain to clean
>not thinking
>try to wipe it off with my bare hand forgetting I just had it in the fryer for 10 seconds

[Anonymous No.9597589]

>>9597465
The absolute worst part of cutting yourself is having to wear the fucking gloves or finger cots. Knives do not slide against those things for shit and suddenly it takes 10 times the effort to cut anything at all.

[Anonymous No.9597935]

was broke but here it goes
>was making ramen before class
>water finally boiling
>finish making ramen dump remaining water
>for some reason someone put a large pot upside down in sink
>was draining excess boiling water
>boiling water drenches my leg
>no time to change
>eat ramen on the go
>leg blisters in moments
>had to cut off scrub pants to avoid popping blisters

to this day i am super cautious when making ramen

[Anonymous No.9597998]

> 12 years ago

> working at mcdumbfucks somewhere for a couple weeks.

> manager says I can fry whatever I want for funsies because hes about to change the oil

> being the smartest 18 year old ever, I throw in a happy meal toy, a bouncy ball of some shape or form.

> theres air inside it

> it pops and sprays oil all over everywhere. luckily i was the only person there

> minor burns all over

> never speak of this to anybody and change the oil

> then go home and take a 5 hour long cold shower.

my skin was blistered all over my body

[Anonymous No.9598010]

>>9593789
Same shit happened to me but with celery.

I get a tingling feeling every time I see the mandolin, even reading your post did it to me.

[Anonymous No.9598887]

>>9593578
Did you fuck afterwards?

[Anonymous No.9598903]

>>9593409
so far I havent, because I don't have learning disabilities

[Anonymous No.9598908]

>>9593409
>be me
>making tasty tacos
>I put some hot sauce on them (red savina puree)
>glass container sends a perfectly aimed shockwave that lands in my eye
>feels cold for a second, run to the sink because I know I'm in for hell
>Jesus Christ it burns
>wash as much out as I can, crumple to the floor and sob, unable to see
>fruity habanero goodness screaming it's way down my tears ducts into my nose
>the pain lasts another two hours
>people thought I was high because of how red my eyes were the next day, little did they know my eyes hurt to move and continued to ache.

[Anonymous No.9598946]

>>9598908
Another one
>be child on camping trip in RV with parents
>eating breakfast
>only have a dull knife, my dad is talking shit as usual because he's a subhuman
>use dull knife to cut hard as rock salami
>knife slips, slice the tip of my fourth finger really deep
>get up from the table, grab a paper towel
>pass out on the bed

[Anonymous No.9599025]

>>9594408
there is a severe lack of MSPaint on nu/ck/

[Anonymous No.9599074]

>>9596266
It's better than having da spicy pee pee

[Anonymous No.9599101]

>>9594721
I had surgery two days later. I thought saying the fact that it's getting better implied surgery.

I've got pretty much full movement with it again but it's just not suitable for heavy lifting or such yet

[Anonymous No.9599115]

>>9593409
>>people at work all ask me what I did to my face for the next few days

Honest question, why do people feel the need to point out things like these?

I never asked anyone at work what happened to them, it's just not my business and it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Fucking stop sticking your nose where it does not belong.

[Anonymous No.9599123]

Have been a line cook for 12 years. Probably cut every muscle in my hand at least once.

[Anonymous No.9599134]

>>9599123

What's with the pic? Do you blame women for choosing to be a drunk & broke line cook or something?

[Anonymous No.9599139]

>>9599134
No blaming women is just a general good principle.

[Anonymous No.9599145]

>>9599134
>What's with the pic? Do you blame women for choosing to be a drunk & broke line cook or something?

No. I can accept that I chose to be a cook and do not blame others for my decision.

The pic just demonstrates women's logic of choosing something themselves and then turning around and blaming everybody else for their own poor decisions.

[Anonymous No.9599156]

>>9593789
I wore chain link gloves while using the mandolin.

[Anonymous No.9599187]

>>9593578
Once stepped on a grill. Had my foot in a bucket with a frozen chicken over night.
Foot looked delicious though

[Anonymous No.9599205]

>>9599145
>The pic just demonstrates women's logic of choosing something themselves and then turning around and blaming everybody else for their own poor decisions.

lol this fucking guy.

If you are this hung up about women's inconsistencies and irrational behavior, then you have probably never touched a vagina in your life.

Women are irrational. Just smile, nod and shove your cock in their mouths.

[Anonymous No.9599221]

Damn, you guys are fucking tards, the worst that happened to be were accidental cuts while cutting something up. Safely handling cooking oil is basic human instinct and if you can't pull it off you really shouldn't reproduce.

[Anonymous No.9599251]

>>9594618
Whoa I need those on the left. I hate having to put mitts on all the way sometimes just to like drain pasta or something. Link on amazon?

[Anonymous No.9599277]

>>9599251
seem to be referred to as "grabber oven mitts"
pic is from https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/7-inch-grabber-mini-oven-mitt/3255156

amazon has a decent selection as well

[Anonymous No.9599324]

>>9593409
>checking my tendies
>open the oven because they need that extra turn
>try not to let the heat out so only open oven slightly
>turning tendies
>bump the oven door with my leg
>hand gets stuck to the oven door
>scream trying to pull it off the molten glass
>burn gets infected because I never wash the flavor out of the oven
>still get flashbacks when I look at black mark which still has my skin in it

[Anonymous No.9599404]

>>9599115
Well, to be fair, some people might just have legitimate concern for their fellow man.

[Anonymous No.9599414]

>>9599251
>>9599277

Those look like they'd fall off the hands very easily. Seems like an impractical, unsafe design.

[Anonymous No.9599441]

>>9599414
I've got one, it works fine
if you've ever used a towel to lift a hot pan or whatever, it's exactly the same principle just better insulated. It's not a mitten for going outside, it has never fallen off because you put it on to grab something.

[Anonymous No.9599447]

>>9593409
This is an example of me being a complete retard:

>Find recipe book published by Marlboro
>Same faggots who sell cigarettes
>Recipe states that I must cook chili on high for, like, two hours
>Wtf does it just take forever to cook through the food or something?
>Whatever, if Marlboro says it's safe, then I'll trust it

>Entire house fills with black smoke
>Ruined my pot because the food has burned in to a charred layer
>I was cooking spicy chili with habaneros and shit, so I also filled my kitchen with what was essentially mace
>Call mom bitching about it
>She doesn't even need to look at the recipe to know where I fucked up
"Anon, sweetie, that recipe is for use in a crack pot. Not a stove top."
>I am now, and forever, the dumbest mother fucker that's ever lived.

[Anonymous No.9599453]

>>9599441
I can just imagine that someone inept enough to need a potholder for doing something as simple as draining pasta would probably get into an even worse accident trying to use those.

I've never used those cloth mitts but I have tried to use those little silicone "grippers" on the right-hand side of that pic. They're totally useless. More dangerous than not having them in the first place.

[Anonymous No.9599462]

Never hurt myself but i did almost catch my apartment on fire.

>stoned
>want steak
>pan, nice and hot
>olive oil
>pan TOO HOT
>olive oil smoking
>drunk roomate watching me
>look at him
>pick up pan to dump oil into water
>"i made it to hot"
>pan bursts into flames
>brain in overdrive
>almost dump the flaming oil into the sink
>catch myself and cover the pan with a lid
>fire goes out without incident

It was a rookie mistake, but I'm glad I didn't do anything too dumb.

[Anonymous No.9599469]

>>9599324
>molten glass
Do you cook your tendies in a blast furnace?

[Anonymous No.9599473]

>>9599453
Ove glove master race

[Anonymous No.9599487]

>>9593409
when i get home from drinking with friends for some reason i cook bacon naked. after the 4th time i cook it asap when i buy it.

drunk me is a fucking retard

[Anonymous No.9599503]

>>9599473
Welder's gloves are even better.

[Anonymous No.9599508]

>>9599453
I've never used the little silicone grippers
draining pasta does seem like a bad example to me personally, since I've only ever used pots with insulated handles to make pasta, but it does just fine grabbing dutch ovens or trays out of my oven

they're only very moderately more convenient to slip on/off than a regular mitt. Honestly if I had good kitchen towels all I would ever use was kitchen towels.

[Anonymous No.9599520]

>>9599508
>all I would ever use was kitchen towels.
That's what I do.
They're cheap when bought in bulk. Plus they're so much more useful. Not only can they be used for holding hot items, but you can also use them to clean up spills, wash things, cover/insulate food to keep warm, etc. Plus they are much less likely to get fucked up when you do laundry.

[Anonymous No.9600961]

>>9597998
can't tell if you'd be fired or given a lot of money for telling people

[Anonymous No.9600981]

>used to work at a deli
>be cleaning the cutting wheel
>hand slips
>nick pointer finger on the blade
>manager had sharpened it not even an hour ago
>probably should have got stitches but fuck that
>scar on my finger tip to this day

[Anonymous No.9601035]

>>9594981
how is it possible to fail this hard

[Anonymous No.9601137]

>>9594342
i remember those commercials, anon.

[Anonymous No.9601260]

>Stick knife through hand
>Pull it out
If you do anything else you're a PUSSY WOMAN

[Anonymous No.9601299]

>>9593409
>made hardboiled eggs
>put leftovers in fridge
>grabbed some for a snack the next day
>popped them into the microwave
>took them out, carefully took a bite
>egg literally fucking explodes with a loud PPPBBBBLLTLT sound
>hot egg goes everywhere
>burns my mouth and my lips
>fucking egg bomb holy shit

The burns weren't bad, but it stung. I still laughed my ass off.

[Anonymous No.9601309]

>>9593560
>not laying away from you

[Anonymous No.9601360]

>>9593578
>tfw read that the wrong way
h-hot

[Anonymous No.9601374]

>>9594221
Fag. Emi best girl

[Anonymous No.9601449]

>>9593409
>using a microplane to finely grate some Parmigiano Reggiano cheese
>cheese is very dry and the chunk suddenly cracks in two
>hand slips and I the microplane the skin on the joint of my thumb
That was brutal.

[Anonymous No.9601465]

I cook slowly and lazily so I pretty much never hurt myself badly. The worst I can recall is burning my finger on a pan.

[Anonymous No.9601482]

>>9601299
>microwaving eggs
>eating a day old egg

[Anonymous No.9601496]

>>9593409
>Cooking something in the oven
>reach in to grab it
>my knuckle touches the heating element in the top of the oven
>loud sizzle
>smells like bacon
>skin is crumbled and lightly brown
>doesn't hurt the slightest
it was rather odd

[Anonymous No.9601501]

>>9593409
> Had a bit to drink
> Decide I want curry for dinner
> Start prepping ingredients, decide it's so slow
> Break out the mandoline slicer
Whatcouldgowrong.jpg
> Can't find the guard so I just decide to do it bare
> Going fine until I notice that the last slice of carrot was pink and red

And that's why my right index finger is shorter than the left

[Anonymous No.9601505]

>>9594981
That is legit some final destination shit

[Anonymous No.9601533]

>>9599324
>scream trying to pull it off the molten glass
>molten glas
Industrial strength, heavy duty tendies, anon. Pretty sick

[Anonymous No.9601554]

>>9594495
I GOT TO SEE WHAT TO DO DINGALING

[Anonymous No.9601566]

>>9595605
What did it smell like?

[Anonymous No.9601571]

I was making bread in a glass pan, grabbed with oven mitt which was wet, pan vaused steam from oven mitt to hurt hand making me lose good grip and almost drop it, but instinctually blocked it with arm, caused huge blister

Also various burns, cut off tiny piece of finger, singed eyebrows with a flambé once

[Anonymous No.9601579]

>>9593789
Whats a good mandoline, mine is shit
Preferably able to be resharpened

[Anonymous No.9601581]

>>9595265
put oil on your hands instead, doesnt ruin taste

[Anonymous No.9601593]

>>9593409
Nicked off a good chunk of skin from my thumb while dicing a butternut squash. Didn't hurt too bad, but I had no bandages on hand, so I had to make a makeshift one and walk over to the nearest drug store.

[Anonymous No.9601606]

Split my thumb open straight down the center with a paring knife. That was 8 years ago and still have a scar and it still feels strange.

Also have a large scar on my elbow from a grill lid. It was a windy day and the lid started to close and I used my elbow to stop it without really thinking.

[Anonymous No.9601703]

Long vertical slash at the base of my left thumb while breaking a hog carcass, with plenty of small cuts across my fingertips. Taught me real fast to keep my knife steeled and my off hand out of the way.

Also nearly ruined the same thumb not paying attention using an air skinner. Thank god I had a mesh glove on.

[Anonymous No.9602122]

>>9601449
Don't use that

[Anonymous No.9603089]

>in high school
>weekend
>parents ask me to make breakfast scrambled eggs for the family
>kind of sleepy, so only wear my pajamas and bathrobe
>chop onion with santoku knife
>put knife on the board to reach for something
>when pulling my arm back the bathrobe sleeve pulls the knife
>knife falls with its blade onto my bare foot
The stitches actually hurt more than the wound itself, but to this day I have a two inch scar
And I feel like a tard for damaging a knife like that

[Anonymous No.9603092]

I fried chicken shirtless. My left boob has a burn mark.

[Anonymous No.9603098]

>>9593409
>make a pizza
>take it out the oven
>slip on the floor, drop pizza
>faceplant on pizza
>pizza is ruined and so is your face

[Anonymous No.9603124]

>>9599462
>high temp frying
>olive oil
ISHYGDDT

[Anonymous No.9603129]

>>9593409
I've worked in kitchens for the past 6-7 years and this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me:

>working at a pizzeria that does Italian food as well, I'm the cook for the non-pizza shit
>when we open, we heat marinara sauce on the gas range before putting it into a warming bath thing (can't think of the particular term at the moment, I'm drunk).
>usually, do this by leaving it on low-low/medium heat over the course of about 30 minutes, stirring semi-frequently
>as long as you have the pot on the right burner and leave the ladle in a specific spot, the ladle doesn't get too hot and you don't have to remove the ladle from the pot and dirty up your workspace
>well, this particular morning I was more hungover than usual and I didn't get the placement just right
>as I'm talking shit to my buddy doing prep, I pick up the ladle, the stem of which is long and flat, between my ring and middle finger, so that the hook shaped part can rest on my index finger
>takes a couple seconds to realize that I fucked up
>the whole ladle was searingly hot because it wasn't in the precise position
>manage not to drop anything except the ladle back into the pot
>huge blistering burns on the inside of those two fingers
>still have 12 hours to go until I get off
>get to practice cooking with my left hand for the rest of the day and night
>eventually the huge blisters pop the next day revealing painful, raw skin
>am now slightly ambidextrous because I had to work two double shifts with this injury

It's not that bad, and I realize that because I usually make certain to work consciously in the kitchen.

Other than that, I've never sliced myself on a julienne blade, never horrifically burned myself in a deep fryer, never horrendously cut myself with a deli-slicer, never cut a chunk off my fingers with a knife.

I'd say that I'm lucky, but honestly, it's just a combination of caution and not trying to go faster than I'm comfortable with.

[Anonymous No.9603156]

>>9593409
I was cooking bacon once. I was really high and probably about 6 beers in to a serious buzz, so I can't really remember how this happened. But I managed to get scalding hot bacon grease on my knuckle.

The skin basically just sloughed off the next day, it looked fucking horrible. I stuck a band-aid on it and it was fine a couple weeks later. My knuckle is a little smoother than the rest now.

Oddly enough it didn't hurt much at all.

[Anonymous No.9603165]

>>9603092
Gonna need some pics to verify

[Anonymous No.9603169]

be careful with oil anons

[Anonymous No.9603233]

>>9594408
only happens when i'm high af

[Anonymous No.9603240]

>>9594547
clean your fucking nails, that's disgusting.

[Anonymous No.9603243]

>>9601566
ramen

[Anonymous No.9603288]

>making spanish tortilla/omelette
>pan needs to go into oven for 5-10 min
>take it out with oven mitts
>remove mitts
>think I need to shake the pan a little to see if the tortilla is loose
>grab it with my bare hand
>sharp pain and sizzling
Fortunately, I got no burns, but sat with my hand in a bowl of cold water the rest of the evening

[chop No.9603297]

>>9602122
Those things are grate for things that are too small to comfortably hold. Nuts, parsley, nutmeg stumps...
You can get a handcranked for like three bucks on eBay.

[Anonymous No.9603315]

>>9593409
Threw oil out of the deep fryer onto the back pf my hand, second degree burn I think, nothing but a slight discoloration now.

[Anonymous No.9603325]

>>9593789
am I ever going to get the rest of my thumbprint back, fellow mandolineanon? this happened ~8 weeks ago

[Anonymous No.9603327]

>>9603325
no

[Anonymous No.9603334]

>>9594536
This is why I gladly wear thick, leather pull-on boots.

Sure, closed-toe shoes are a requirement to work in a kitchen, but apart from the geometry of the lasts, having cowboy-style boots affords me protection from my toes up to my shins because of the T H I C C outer layer of leather, on top of the inside layer of leather. They're effectively waterproof and I've had small amounts of frying oil spilled on them with no issue other than replenishing the suppleness of my boots. I just wish the Vibram soles had some small amount of give to them so I don't have to replace my insoles every 4-5 months.

[Anonymous No.9603338]

>>9594495
Probably a fucking Corelle

[Anonymous No.9603340]

>be 7 years old
>be retarded because I'm not even double digits in age
>want some shrimp cup ramen
>microwave it
>decide I don't want to eat at the table and eat on the couch instead
>mom tells me to be careful I can burn myself
>yeahwhatevermom.avi
>sit down
>lack coordination and better motor skill function because I'm 7
>spill the hot shimpy water onto my chest
>mom comes running in because I'm screaming
>sure enough my skin's peeling and turning black in spots

I had a scar from that for like 7 years. Luckily the ER wasn't too full and a neighbor was nice enough to drive my mom and I there.

[Anonymous No.9603341]

>>9594342
Omg no, those were actually awful

[Anonymous No.9603345]

>>9593560
Pretty much the same shit, but I'm ashamed to admit this was when I was 22. In my defense, it was the first time I'd really cooked anything beyond burgers.
>trying to cook pork chops
>instructions I found online say to put 2 tablespoons of oil on the bottom of the pan
>seems to condense itself into a half-crescent shape instead of covering the pan
>add more
>the crescent grows
>do this until the bottom of the pan is finally covered
>finally drop in my pork chops the wrong way
>the force makes oil splash out
>a lot of it
>second degree burns on my right thigh
>second degree burns on my left thigh and shin
>my wafer-thin boxer shorts miraculously shielded my dong despite the bulk of the oil landing on my crotch

How bad is your scarring, by the way?

[Anonymous No.9603394]

>>9594342
hey guys i dont get it whats the mayma--

>>9597338
>>9601137
>>9603341
so i didn't just hallucenate those as a kid, i randomly remember them from time to time and think to myself "No, they wouldn't have put something that fucking brutal on TV, I must have misremembered a horror movie or something"

whats the second one though did they make a fucking sequel to that psa?

[Anonymous No.9603432]

>>9603394
Care to post the referenced thing?

[Anonymous No.9603454]

>>9603432
https://youtu.be/noFCekWiUGE
searched "woman falls pot psa burns face canadian" and it was like the third result. Step it up.
https://youtu.be/ugTeOz7rsgE
To be fair this one might have been harder to find if you didn't know it was from a domestic violence psa

[Anonymous No.9603460]

>>9603432
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noFCekWiUGE

this was SO HARD to look up i had to use DUCKDUCKGO even to find it

now, the commercial i REALLY think i must have been hallucenating was one with a bunch of jovial chefs just having fun banter in the kitchen, eating shit off the floor, doin' all kinds of gay shit, then the music gets really dark and it's revealed to be an ad for a horror movie. all i remember is a dude eats something off the floor and goes "five second rule :)" and then things get much worse. but i was a child so it could have just been a "don't eat raw chicken" psa

[Anonymous No.9603469]

Not super painful but its all I can think of right now:

Making tomato sauce, very high heat at the end to get as much water out as possible, begin to transfer it into a mason jar, a bunch if it spills off the spoon onto the jar rim and also on my thumb. The sauce was easily 200+ degree F, my thumb swelled up into a huge blister within a few seconds and the burning heat pain was awful. Next day I had to cut it up and cut off the blister skin so I could clean it right and bandage it.

[Anonymous No.9603500]

>>9603325
Doubtful. I'm missing my fingerprints on the area I cut myself and it's been a few years since I did that.

[Anonymous No.9604363]

>>9593409
>home economics
>making something in the oven
>go to take out the tray
>classroom has no oven mitts
>none
>just potholders
>grab tray using potholders
>one of my hands slips and I let go of the tray and the potholder
>reflexively grab the tray with my bare hand

[Anonymous No.9604377]

>>9603325
Cool. Go commit murders now

[Anonymous No.9604388]

>>9603288
I've never heard of tortilla made in the oven. You're supposed to slide it onto a plate then flip it back into the pan.

[Anonymous No.9604398]

>>9593810
>Not using a proper knuckle grip.

[Anonymous No.9604884]

>>9594547
I'm pretty sure it hurt, faggot, at least later. Stop trying to act tough on a cooking forum.

[Anonymous No.9604945]

Not when I was cooking, but when I was 8 years old I was making tea. I grabbed the kettle after the water boiling and for some fucking reason decided it would be smart to pour the thing with my left hand.

Ended up slipping and pouring it all over my right hand. The skin on my thumb went all bubbly, like the skin bubbled almost immediately. It hurt a lot and I cried like a bitch lol.

[Anonymous No.9604975]

>>9604388
This. Putting it in the oven is a waste of time