/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9579693]

Did I just fall for the deenz meme?

[Anonymous No.9579805]

put it on some bread with olive oil
uma delica

[Anonymous No.9579815]

>>9579805
Yeah this. I also like a little bit of aged cheese on top and then toasted in the toaster oven.

[Anonymous No.9579824]

Mix it up with teriyaki and eat it over rice.

[Anonymous No.9579826]

>>9579693
Dip them in mustard.

[Anonymous No.9579895]

Nacho cheese

[Anonymous No.9580586]

>>9579805
>>9579815
>>9579824
>>9579826
>>9579895
I threw it in the garbage you fucking sick fucks.

[Anonymous No.9580614]

>>9579693
>>9579805
>>9579815
>>9579824
>>9579826
>>9579895
>>9580586
>not getting kippers or salmon.

enjoy your fucked shit

[Anonymous No.9581792]

>>9580586
Just fish out the spine if it bothers you that much.

What a waste.

[Anonymous No.9581822]

>>9579693
Looks like you bought a shitty brand. Not all brands are equal, some of them are essentially trash. You need to actually do a little research to find ones that are consistently good.

[Anonymous No.9581857]

>>9579693
Put em on some lightly toasted rye bread, add your favourite sandwich vegetables, some butter/a condiment you like, and you've got a damn good and very healthy sandwich.

[Anonymous No.9581942]

>>9579693
God I hate the spines, but the rest is good.

[Anonymous No.9582007]

>>9579693
Get the plain kind and apply some GOAT hot sauce and you will be amazed

[Anonymous No.9582013]

Oh god.

Greentext time.

>Be me, going through hormone regulation treatment because endocrine system shit itself.
>Taste buds change while on meds, start to like different foods. Canned sardines become one of these foods.
>They satisfy every salt craving I've ever had.
>My two orange cats crowd me for nibbles on the fish, and I share fish. I bond closer with these floofs. Feels real good.
>Continue to eat sardines for months.
>Eat them straight out of the can.
>Put them in soup or use them as soup toppings
>Chill them and mix them with tuna to make tuna-sardine salad.
>Fry them very lightly to give them crispy skin.
>Life is good.
>One day I buy about 10 cans because ice storms were coming and I needed to stock up.
>Decided to make sardine sandwich with tomatoes and mustard.
>Spread mustard on bread, cut tomatoes into perfect slices, place all nice and pretty on bread.
>Open can of sardines, as usual.
>See one bloated, fat sardine. Her belly has been split open and her eye has popped out of her socket. Her mouth is open as if she was screaming for the ride to end.
>I knew it was a she because her stomach had exploded with eggs.
>In the can are what I assume are hundreds of grainy, dark brown pellets of sardine eggs.
>The sight is abhorrent. I dropped the can on the table and curled up my fingers.
>I was looking into the eye of a fermented mother.
>But I was still hungry.
>I think... Caviar. Right? It wouldn't be high grade but they are fish eggs. Maybe there would be some flavor. Some of the saltiness I had grown so accustomed to.
>I dip a spoon into the decomposed egg pile and scoop some out. Just a bit, just the tip of the spoon... And I press them to my lips. I open my mouth and I let the eggs rest on my tongue.

(1/2)

[Anonymous No.9582038]

>>9582013
>I vomit instantly.
>I can only describe the taste as rancid sweat. It was disgusting. The eggs, marinated in the juices from their mother's sack, were grainy but mushy. Like wet sand that stuck to every corner of your mouth, got in between your teeth, and under your gums.
>It was everywhere.
>Gagging, throwing up bile, and convulsing out of disgust, I gimp-run to the sink and begin to rinse out my mouth.
>It does not rinse out. It only spreads to different corners of my mouth.
>I scream.
>Cats run.
>Dead fish mom stares at me with her dislocated eye.
>This is a nightmare.
>Run to the bathroom and get a toothbrush and toothpaste.
>Squeeze about half the bottle of paste into my mouth.
>Brush furiously. I can feel the dead scraping against my gums and it's starting to drive me nuts.
>Get these little decomposed fuckers out of my mouth.
>It takes about five minutes, but I do eventually clean them all out. The sink is a mix of neon blue and pasty grey.
>Fuck.
>FUCK.
>Throw away the toothbrush and throw away the sardine can. Consider having a burial but decide that I've already been autistic enough for today.
>Go to bed without dinner. Not hungry.
>Wake up the next morning. Pretty hungry.
>Go to kitchen and see cans of sardines not put away.
>Figure yesterday was a fluke. It won't happen again, so let's just get back on track and eat some sardines.
>Open tin of sardines.
>There is a fish there, with a bloated stomach, a missing head, and a pile of eggs leaking out of her belly.

I shit you not, all 10 cans had sardines with eggs in them. Every single one. I threw them all away and have never touched a tin since. It sucks, because I used to really like sardines. But fuck. That. Shit.

[Anonymous No.9582048]

>>9582038
A friend of mine had something somewhat similar happen with ramen. He bought a whole box of it and every last package had dead bug larvae in it. Needless to say, anyone who saw this no longer eats maruchan.

[Anonymous No.9582215]

>>9582048
Happened to me with some pepperidge farm cookies that I bit into and literally the whole interior of the cookie was filled with beetles. I only eat home made cookies now.

[Anonymous No.9583778]

Happened to me when I purchased a box of cheez its. I opened it, and I swear to you, every single cracker had a dead nigger in it. You cannot make this shit up. Never again.

[Anonymous No.9583793]

>>9580586
>he threw away money

[Anonymous No.9583959]

>>9583778
Oh man this reminds me the last time I bought Frosted Flakes, there was a dead rat in the box, swear to god it took a crane to pull that sucker out