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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9548602 No.9548602 [Reply] [Original]

What was the dumbest mistake you made while cooking?

>> No.9548624

>>9548602
I love retarded pepe

>> No.9548628

>making a gravy
>want to thicken it up
>dump some corn starch in it
>clumps everywhere
>can't whisk them out
>gravy tastes like pockets of corn starch

i was so fucking pissed

>> No.9548638
File: 44 KB, 480x334, thos_beans.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9548638

>>9548602
I didn't have any milk while making a bisque, so I used vanilla coffee creamer.

>> No.9548640

>>9548628
Blend it?

I once tried to make a diy fish curry, but got wasted on special brew, woke up to a load of expensive ingredients basically welded to the bottom of a big cooking pot.

>> No.9548644

>>9548638

fucking kill yourself

>> No.9548647

Thought I could compensate salt with sugar as child.

>> No.9548707

>>9548644
>doesn't abbreviate kill yourself
>adds fucking
this guy means it

>> No.9548795

Was cooking fillet mignon on the grill for a group but when I served them up they were all undercooked and pink in the inside. Had to toss the lot out to avoid cross contamination/food poisoning. Waste of $100

>> No.9548796

>>9548602
Posting a stupid frog meme on a cooking board.

>> No.9548802

>>9548602
>making an omelette
>didn't want to dirty another bowl
>decided to try to whisk everything in the pan before it started to cook
>failed miserably
The omelette sadly perished into a mess.

>> No.9548849

>>9548707
He fucking means it

>> No.9548853

>>9548624
We don't use the r-word anymore, and his name is Apu Apustaja.

>> No.9548863

>leave msg in unlabeled jar
>mom assumes it's sugar and bakes an apple crisp with it

>> No.9548869

>>9548795
This is good but too obvious

>> No.9548874

>>9548863
How did it taste?

>> No.9548875

>>9548863
so? it shoulda amplified the apples flavor. how did it turn out?

>> No.9548890

>>9548602
Don't even remember what it was, but I was cooking some meat dish that required browning on the stove top and finishing in a 450 degree oven. Went to go pull it out, and since I'd been handling the pan without gloves, grabbed the handle bare handed. Sucked for the next three days.

>> No.9548896
File: 97 KB, 1263x719, 1507703855777.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9548896

>preteen
>still use box mix
>calls for vegetable oil
>surely olive oil will do

the memory will never leave me

>> No.9548916

>>9548896
What were you making?

>> No.9548922

>>9548802
Was bound to fail if you had the heat up high enough that you couldn't whisk everything together.

>> No.9548949

>>9548602
>Be stoned 15-year-old
>Been awake for around 30 hours
>Put mozzarella sticks in oven
>Fall asleep on couch, just wanted to rest my eyes
>Wake up to smoke alarm, kitchen is full of smoke
>Mozzarella sticks have turned to charcoal
>Open all the windows in the house
>Have to wait to go back to sleep despite being exhausted, the smell is too awful

>> No.9548951

>>9548602

That's one detailed wheelchair

>> No.9548953

>>9548916
brownies.
needless to say, tasted terrible and got tossed.

>> No.9549008

>>9548922
In my defense I tend to wait before putting everything in the pan. I let the butter melt and just before it browns I pour in the stuff.

I take the Julia Child approach.

>> No.9549255

>>9548602
>making eggplant lasagna
>pre-heat oven
>get everything in pan
>put in oven
>set timer
>get bottle of beer to relax
turn to see platter of eggplant slices still sitting on counter

FML

>> No.9549266

I use to improperly store things and make myself sick all the time. I gave up on cooking meat for a while until I get a place of my own.

>> No.9549273

>half asleep and hungry
>see bag of jumbo shrimp in freezer
>decide to pan fry it because it's late and I'm hungry
>too tired to notice they still have fucking shells on
>cook them
>eat one and notice the shell
>spend 10 minutes peeling them all and seasoning them again
they still turned out fine it was just a huge pain in the ass to take the shells off after they cooked

>> No.9549409

>deep frying fish
>got the battered filets ready
>getting the oil hot (no deep frier)
>put the fish in
>the oil is much too hot and the fish is charred to a black clump in a minute
>panic
>try to cool down the oil by putting cold water in it
>smoke fills the kitchen
>fire alarm goes off in the entire building
>the entire building is evacuated
>can't turn the fire alarm off for some reason
>it stays on for an hour in every apartment

>> No.9549453

Gf's parents came for dinner so I made steak and kidney puddings with a shortcrust pastry and a slow braised filling that I didnt trim the fat from... just let it dissolve into the gravy and pulled out any left-over chunks... It was rich as fuck and none of us could finish it.
I gave the left overs to my dog. After eating it, it curled up on the rug and died of a heart attack.

>> No.9549501

Not cooking but food related. Had been drinking heavy, as usual, and during the night I reached down to the side of my bed to grab a water bottle I always have there and lay down and just let all the goodness flow into my mouth.

Bad thing was it wasn't my water bottle but a bottle of mayo I'd chucked on the floor after putting it on my midnight pizza.

Retched whiskey and mayo all over the floor it was some bad times.

>> No.9549531

>>9548795

Did good, all that blood, uhg.

Why not cook it through again and hten serve with ketchup though?

>> No.9549536

>>9549501
>mayo on pizza

Life as an alcy is truly terrible

>> No.9549557

>>9548949
>Be stoned 15-year-old

To cool to let your brain fully develop before experimenting with drugs? Enjoy your psychosis when you grow up.

>> No.9549647

>Making middle eastern rice dish that required a crust on the bottom
>set already cooked, refrigerated rice in pot on burner at lowest setting
>estimated one hour, no more, no less until the crust was formed taking into account that the whole thing was cold
>burned 1/3 of the rice
45 minutes would have been enough but got cocky and didn't want to interrupt cardio. still ate the rice because I am not a huge fucking wasteful faggot. didn't taste burnt surprisingly.

moral of the story: given enough time, the lowest setting of a stove top burner will make your neighborhood catch fire.

>> No.9549666

>>9549557

>from weed

Go after alcohol and smoking first

>> No.9549747

>>9549409
>things that never happened

>> No.9549776
File: 3.28 MB, 4160x3120, IMG_20171015_122033.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9549776

>>9548602
Burnt my mother's favorite frying pan (flavorstone) by leaving on the stove too long with no food in it.

She was livid.

>> No.9549782

>>9548628
Mix flour or cornstarch with a bunch of water first, dilute it a lot, then pour the dilution in and cook down.

>> No.9549783

>>9548849
Thanks Reddit.

>> No.9549784

>>9548602
Making it a career.

>> No.9549807

>>9548602
Dumbest was after. Left a burner on all night.

>> No.9549815

pull cast iron pan-dish out of oven on to countertop using oven mitts
break concentration
try to move it from one counter top to the other countertop by grabbing hendle with my hand
...not the dumbest thing I've done

one time I tried to be efficient by cooking my oatmeal in coffee,that was bad

>> No.9549821

>put pan on high heat
>go play round of call of duty
>come back
>pan is stuck to the stove
>freak out, pull as hard as I can
>stove bends but comes off, part of the pans coating comes off and is permanently stuck to stove
>still not really sure what happened

>> No.9549823

The other day I made risotto with mayonnaise instead of butter

>> No.9549854

>>9549557
>when you grow up

I'm 27 now and just have most of the same social anxiety issues I had before ever trying weed.

>> No.9549994

>>9549008
I prefer the Julia Adult approach

>> No.9550038

>>9549776
just pop it in the freezer ya dingus

>> No.9550045

Turned on the microwave but forgot to put food in it. Atleast the sparks it made were pretty.

>> No.9550070

>>9550045
Microwaves don't spark unless you put metal in them, anon. Don't make up stories.

>> No.9550079

>>9550070
Microwaves are made of metal you dingus

>> No.9550089

>>9549557
>smoking weed anytime after 18 years old
LMAOing at your life

>> No.9550094

>>9550079
this

>> No.9550109

>>9550094
this

>> No.9550117

>>9550109
>>9550094
>>9550079
These

>> No.9550121

>>9548602
Started cooking for a living

>> No.9550123
File: 18 KB, 450x459, DLND54_V4AEmnAw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550123

>baking bread in a cast iron pot in the oven
>bread is done
>take pot out with potholders
>bread still needs a little more baking
>pick up pot to put it back in the oven
>forgot to use the potholders

>> No.9550129

>>9549782
Never thought of that thanks

>> No.9550130
File: 42 KB, 400x300, 2088630688_72ed45d937_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550130

>>9550123
Cast iron is a fickle mistress

>> No.9550135

>>9550117
>>9550109
>>9550094
I this'd before it was cool

>> No.9550141

>>9548638
my mom did this once in mashed potatoes, fucking horrid

>> No.9550144

Used too much oil in cooking a pork chop. Splashed all over me. Have three scars on my left leg and wouldn't have a dick anymore if my underwear didn't stop it.

>> No.9550150

>7 years old
>cooking pancakes with no shirt on
>too much oil and butter in pan
>flip pancake
>splash boiling oil all over my chest

>> No.9550166

>poor as shit
>go to grocery store to buy some expensive ingredients
>self check out
>next day
>go to make thing
>cant find some of the ingredients
>realize i must have left a bag at self checkout

this happened this weekend and i feel like shit because of it
i wish i had a real job so i could buy things

>> No.9550171

>>9550123
>preheating oven
>forget i left a pan in there
>take pan out using towel and put it on stove
>need to make room on stove
>grab pan without towel
>don't know how long i was holding the pan, but i didn't feel the heat right away
>probably held the fully heated pan handle for 5-10 seconds
>spend the next 2-3 hours running hand under cold water, sweating and writhing around in pain
>half of hand is covered in blisters next day but it doesn't even hurt
years later i still get nervous when going to grab that pan

>> No.9550173
File: 136 KB, 500x500, 1483193159068.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550173

>>9548796

>> No.9550174

>>9548602

When I was baking cake for my sister the recipe called for 3 whole eggs so I put in the eggs with the shells. I didn't realize that they meant crack the egg and when my sister took a bite she had egg shells in her mouth and called me retarded but all I wanted to do was make something nice for her. I guess I'm nothing but an obese retard

>> No.9550189

>>9548628
this happened to me back when i didn't know anything about cooking

you gotta dissolve it in some kind of liquid first, oil/melted butter works better. now whenever i need to thicken something at work I'll put some flour/ starch in a bowl with some oil, whisk the shit out of it, and pour it in as needed

>> No.9550202
File: 22 KB, 645x729, 1507166889086.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550202

>>9550174
Holy shit lmao

>> No.9550209

>>9550174
>three
>WHOLE
>eggs
ayy lmao :DDDD

>> No.9550212

>>9550174
The saddest thing is I can believe this actually happened

>> No.9550219

>>9550174
I hope you were younger than like 9 or 10

>> No.9550231
File: 24 KB, 400x560, keglevich-strawberry-750__60893.1336599024.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550231

>making a homemade onion soup
>actually grew bulk of the ingredients, put alot of love into it
>recipe called a bit of red wine
>my eyes fucking suck
>i mistook strawberry vodka for red wine
>all that work fucking wasted

ill never live that down

>> No.9550232

>>9550219

Negative I was 18. I am 27 today and I weigh like 370lbs and dropped out of college

>> No.9550244

>>9550150
Wow, I had a similar incident at that age, except it was bacon on high heat.

>> No.9550246

>>9550232
Please get help

>> No.9550331

>>9548602

I put chocolate syrup on pizza

>> No.9550341
File: 34 KB, 680x680, 1506890384901.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550341

>>9550231
>i mistook strawberry vodka for red wine

>> No.9550375

>>9550174
>>9550232
Start taking some responsibility for yourself.

>> No.9550390

>>9550375

It's not my fault, fuck off. People have made me the way I am. What the fuck am I supposed to do besides eat and escape into alternate realities when I am constantly kicked down and psychologically tormented? All I like to do is stay home and eat and watch movies or play vidya. Fuck society and people like you telling me to "take responsibility" for shit which is mostly not my fault. Why don't people like you take responsibility and realize what sort of shitty human beings you are?

>> No.9550392

>>9550231
This sounds like bullshit, it's not likely that the vodka was unopened and therefore would be almost impossible to confuse with an unopened bottle of wine being stored at room temperature.

>> No.9550399
File: 36 KB, 625x626, d5c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550399

>>9550390

>> No.9550400

>>9550390
>chooses to eat too much
>chooses not to exercise

>not his fault

>> No.9550419
File: 34 KB, 773x659, crying_catto.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550419

i forgot that you shouldnt put hot glass in water and one day after i finished cooking i put a glass lid under some water and shattered it

>> No.9550422

>>9550390
My statement stands. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking some responsibility. If you don't, you will never improve and neither will your life.

>> No.9550426

>>9550390
Neck yourself you fat useless pieces of shit
t depressed alcoholic

>> No.9550428

>>9549273
That's how they're supposed to be served you uncultured swine

>> No.9550440

>>9550390
Quit blaming society and humanity for your problems faggot.

>> No.9550442

>>9550390
Unironically kys

>> No.9550474

>>9549557
lol, c,mon brah

>> No.9550500

Making tzatziki for the first time, didn't sweat the cucumber like I was supposed to and just blended all the ingredients, gg liquid dip

>> No.9550503

>>9549666
Alcohol in moderation is better than smoking weed in moderation and has been shown to increase life expectancy. Abusing alcohol is worse than abusing weed though. Weed isn't always better.

>> No.9550515

>>9550166
Do you at least have the receipt? Maybe you can go back and explain what happened.

>> No.9550523
File: 1.05 MB, 320x240, thumbs-up.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550523

>tfw you've always been able to recover

who /neverdonenothingwrong/ here?

>> No.9550524

>>9550442

No

>> No.9550651
File: 111 KB, 1027x731, Cute_froggy_dancing.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550651

>>9548624

>> No.9550682

>>9550523

if you've never done nothing wrong, it's because you haven't done much of anything at all.

>> No.9550774

>>9550682
this is profound anon

>> No.9550780

Made cookies with way too much flour because I didn't mix it enough and it wasn't thickening up

>> No.9550856

>>9550171
>probably held the fully heated pan handle for 5-10 seconds

Why lie about something so uninteresting? More likely two second at most. Fucking faggot also the pain isn't that bad you cocksucking pussy bitch. Fuck reditors piss me off

>> No.9550886
File: 12 KB, 365x205, A058_Kaban.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550886

6 years ago I was making beer-battered mushrooms on the stovetop. Battered the mushrooms (I think I just coated them with flour) and had a pot of hot oil ready to go, but I didn't know how to add the beer, so I poured it into the oil and caused a grease fire in my apartment.

>> No.9550920

>>9550886
jesus christ anon

>> No.9550930
File: 23 KB, 446x362, 4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9550930

>>9548602
Didn't have any corn starch, so I used instant mash potato as a thickener. Made it all grainy.

>> No.9550947

>was about 13
>make homemade pizza with sister
>really proud of us, even made the dough alone
>add a lot of toppings
>time to put it into the oven
>made pizza on the countertop instead of directly in the baking pan
>can't transfer anymore, too much stuff on top
>had to scrape everything off
>was a fucking mess but still delicious

>> No.9550954

>>9550045
Yeah, I did this when I was preheating my microwave the other day. Didn't have my cellphone on me to record it though

>> No.9550960

>>9548602
I boiled turkey brine water and used it to make stuffing.

>> No.9550970

I lived with gas ranges from 90% of my life but the past couple places have been electric so I often find myself putting the wrong burner on without realizing, often for quite a long time.
Stupid and dangerous and yes I like to drink when I cook.
Good thing my mother instilled the 'never put shit you aren't actively cooking on the stovetop' rule.

>> No.9550985

>>9550970
I once burned a plastic cutting board like that. A cleaning agency had to clean out my whole apt because the smoke it generatet was toxic. Fml

I still think there was something fishy going on... i never put anything on the stovetop that's not cooking as default.

I didn't lock my door and my neighbour was a really horrible person.

>> No.9550992

>>9550985
Cool story faggot pro tip: no one cares

>> No.9551019

>>9550960

This doesn't sound bad though.

>> No.9551029

I added too much yeast on bread and it just tasted like yeast. Fixing that on the next batch.

My roomie's a cocktail of bad cooking habits though

>> No.9551032

>>9551019
It was inedibly salty. I've never kicked myself in the ass as much as i did that day.

>> No.9551095

>>9549815
Coffee flavored oatmeal doesn't sound too bad. As long as you've got the right proportions

>> No.9551120

>>9548602
i grabbed the pan after taking it out of the oven, two weeks later i did the same thing with exactly the same dish

>> No.9551131

Lol

>> No.9551141

>>9548624
he is helper pepe ok. he is not retarded

>> No.9551146

>>9549783
>muh reddit
>>>/r9k/

>> No.9551155

Read tablespoons, thought cups. Used 4 cups of milk. I don't care how much powdered sugar you have that batch of frosting was never coming together.

>> No.9551172

>>9551155
You would've needed about 16 pounds of powdered sugar to make that come together.

That's hilarious.

>> No.9551173

not greasing before baking

>> No.9551175

>>9549557
Not them. I have schizophrenia and have never smoked weed.

>> No.9551199

The previous week I was craving curry and made a batch of garam masala for that. The next week my roommate wanted something Italian so I was going to make chicken marsala. It ended up in registering in my mind to use the powder instead of the wine. I caught myself as I was sprinkling it on but it was too late.

>> No.9551205

>that time when you took the milk out of the fridge, opened the cabinet, put the milk inside, and walked away with a feeling of accomplishment for a few moments

>> No.9551208

>>9548602
Making the pan too hot so everything has a frozen core and a burnt outer. But i learnd my lesson.

Also left a pan on hot oven. Had to throw it away because the teflon blew up

>> No.9551211

>>9550390
You choose how you react to others. You choose what you do today.

>> No.9551227
File: 140 KB, 330x236, 1501827832376.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551227

>be new bachelor
>want to make some burgers
>put oil in the pan
>set heat way too high
>trigger smoke alarm

>> No.9551239

>>9551227
Well, you're a weeb and therefore fucking dumb.
It's no wonder you can't cook a simple burger (or get a girlfriend).

>> No.9551286

>>9551205
What's that supposed to mean?

>> No.9551301

>>9551205
I have done this

>> No.9551305

>>9551239
Isn't it a little too early to be projecting on an anime imageboards cooking subsection, Anon?

>> No.9551318

>intend on making hawaiian pizza
>get ingredients from Shops
>return home to find dumb roastie has put silverside beef in ham wrapper
>...
>bin silverside and pineapple pizza after one bite

>> No.9551333

>man I really should make some tuna salad again
>gather all ingredients, make salad, put in fridge
>that evening, halfway through my second bowl
>I forgot the tuna

>> No.9551338

>>9550954
>preheating my microwave
?

>> No.9551347

Classic one:
>making coffee with moka
>put coffee over the filter
>forget to put water under the filter

>> No.9551358
File: 209 KB, 682x600, 1367315294073.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551358

>>9550174
>3 whole eggs

>> No.9551368

>>9551305
Well, you're a weeb, you're dumb and you can't cook, so at least three of those aren't projections.

>> No.9551380
File: 80 KB, 728x420, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551380

>>9551305
>anime image board cooking sub section
Fucking newfags.

>> No.9551397

>>9551338
>fell for lé bait

>> No.9551398
File: 23 KB, 480x360, 1495171974276.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551398

>>9548796

>> No.9551420

>>9550189
Well ya kinda have the right idea. Corn starch with a tiny bit of water should be used for glazes. Mix thoroughly (I do it literally with my hand in a small container, easier to judge the right consistency that way) until no chunks and the viscosity should be like motor oil. The more water you add the more you have to cook back out. That defeats the purpose of the thickening agent. This is called a slurry

Oil or butter and flour is a roux and used for gravies and bechamel for example. In both cases the liquid should be simmering/lightly boiling before adding the thickener. Neither will work well or at all if the water isn’t to appropriate temperature

t. linecookfag

>> No.9551426

>>9551368
>Being this mad

I'm sorry your life is so miserable, Anon.

>> No.9551447

>>9551368
anime website

>> No.9551457

>>9548602
>get drunk
>want raman noodles
>start boiling pot
>pass out
>wake up to my brand new fucked up to shit pot

>> No.9551459
File: 26 KB, 619x453, cc1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551459

>be poor student
>be tired af
>pull out some tomato soup from fridge
>put it on stove, start heating it up
>sit down while waiting
>fall asleep
>somethingisburning.exe
>run to the kitchen
>boiled all the water away
>mfw I've made my soup crispy

>> No.9551462

>>9551459
Crispy soup is goat

>> No.9551463
File: 105 KB, 1500x256, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551463

>>9551447
Retard.
Weebs really are this dumb.

>> No.9551501

>>9548602
My knife slipped through a lime I was cutting, and slashed one of my fingers down to the bone, slicing through the nerve. It's been 25 years and I still have almost no feeling in that fingertip.

>> No.9551512

>19
>A Few months ago
>Try to make some mac and cheese
>No wooden spoon available
>A ladel will do

>> No.9551514

>new to cooking
>like brand new
>want to make some bbq chicken
>cut up some chicken, put it in a pan with cold oil and heat up the pan like that
>after about 5 minutes dump in some bbq sauce to cover the chicken
>cook that mess for another 5 minutes
>try to cut open the chicken to check for doneness but I can't tell because everything is covered in bbq sauce
>say fuck it and eat it anyway
>tastes like a rubbery bbq shoe
>throw it all out and go out to eat
It's been a long journey

>> No.9551520

>>9551512
Sometimes I cut veggies with a fork if I can't find my knife, no biggie

>> No.9551522

>>9551514
>rubbery bbq shoe
I kekked audibly.

>> No.9551524

>>9548874
like salty milk and coins

>> No.9551525
File: 41 KB, 640x452, first technician bonehead.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551525

I had my gazpacho soup served hot.

>> No.9551526

>>9551524
>making jokes about breasts on a cooking forum
Are you 12?

>> No.9551581

Makin some nice cake/pankake/something like that, i dont remember (was kinda drunk)
Put in ground caraway seed instead of cinnamon (The containerrs werent labled and in my drunken state they looked the same.)

Had to thow that shite away

>> No.9551806
File: 195 KB, 762x1048, 4H6ur7x.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9551806

>>9548638
put a little bit of watered down almond milk to make a cheese sauce for pasta once, actually turned out ok when i put some crushed red pepper in the sauce.

>> No.9551815

>>9551526
That's not about breasts

>> No.9551817

>>9551815
Yes it's about what breasts feel like, bags of sand

>> No.9551848

>>9551817
You're confusing your vintage memes again dad

>> No.9552035

>>9549557
>To cool to let your brain fully develop before experimenting with drugs?
>To cool

Speaking from experience or were you just born thick?

>> No.9552110
File: 3 KB, 229x220, images_2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9552110

>>9548796

>> No.9552122

>>9548628
anon make a slurry first

>> No.9552195

>>9550930
why not just use flour anon?

>> No.9552214

>>9551848
Why do kids assume that people who grew up before the internet are retarded like they are?

>> No.9552215

>High off my ass on a cocktail of drugs
>With some equally high friends
>Someone decide to make chocolate chip pancakes
>Here we go.jpg
>lumpy fucked up batter
>Friend just pours it all into pan way too small
>other dude pots a whole bag of chocolate chips onto this impending abomination
>I decide I'm going to flip it by flicking the pan
>Do it way too hard and this doughy-chocolate half cooked mess splats on the ceiling
>some of it sticks to the ceiling, the rest falls to the floor
>batter all over the stove, melted chocolate everywhere, forget to turn off stove and ruin the pan
>goes days without being cleaned cause high af for days

Don't do drugs kids

>> No.9552222

>>9550079
Microwaves still don't spark for no reason, anon. Unless you have one made of banana leaves.

>> No.9552485

>>9548802
this happens to me every single time. it is impossible to make a foldable omelette. every single time i try it becomes a scrambled egg coccoon mess thing which goes well with toast. wish I knew what i was doing wrong. I've trield low, medium and high heat. all the temp controls, used oil and other substances to make the pan non-stick as well. nothing seems to wrok.

>> No.9552498

>>9552214
What do you mean?

>> No.9552549

>>9551397
"I was only pretending to be retarded."

>> No.9552794

I misread "1 1/2 minutes" as "11.2 minutes" on a microwaveable burrito wrapper when I was younger. There was so much smoke when I came back to the kitchen I was afraid my dog was going to die so I took him to shelter.

>> No.9552880

>>9549273
Did you think that all shrimps have to be shelled before cooking?

>> No.9552961
File: 1.84 MB, 1920x2560, IMG_20170405_195328157.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9552961

I can't remember what exactly happened but I burned Rice-a-Roni the first time I tried making it

>> No.9552988

trying to add to many seasonings. tried making a few diffrent things cinamon and a few garlicky. did not work.

>> No.9553051
File: 175 KB, 397x399, clever_girl.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9553051

>>9550886
Please don't associate Kaban with such a retarded move.

>> No.9553065
File: 4 KB, 400x400, Faces.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9553065

Reduced a cookie recipe when I was younger, but forgot to reduce the baking powder, Needless to say it was pretty terrible.

>> No.9553066

>Bake cake
>Use 50cl of milk instead of 50ml
Surprisingly it still came out solid

>> No.9553128
File: 784 KB, 698x840, 1499017851000.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9553128

>dumb college freshman who's never cooked anything in my life
>want to brew tea but only have plastic measuring cup with rubber cushion on the bottom
>put it on the burner and set the heat on high
>after a few minutes melted rubber starts dripping onto the stove and smoke fills the air, setting off the fire alarm and causing the dorm to be evacuated
Those were dark days

>> No.9553943

>baking cake
>oil is oil right?
>little tiny balls of olive oil in cake
>takes like straight olive oil aka like a shit cake
also another baking mess up
>be lazy again
>add all dry and wet ingredients at same time to mixer
>my uma delícia moment is interrupted by a bite containing nearly all the salt from recipe

>> No.9553977

>>9549557
aha bro its just to help with my anxiety, dont post any studies showing how it destroys long term memory and worsens anxiety lol. weed cures cancer

>> No.9553991

>>9551146
>muh r9k
>>reddit

>> No.9554372

>>9549666
>>9549854
>>9550089
>>9550474
>>9551175
>>9552035
>>9553977
Found the schlomos

>> No.9554392

>>9550150
Same here ,Todd

>> No.9554428

>>9550856
>relative timing.
Being this mad for a simple detail

>> No.9554437

>>9553066
How the fuck did you not notice the difference between 500 and 50mL?

>> No.9554499

>>9548628
I did something similar but I already had everything cooking in the pan with the stock poured on, tried to thicken it last minute like a retard by adding a spoonful of cornflour but it just stayed in lumps and ruined the whole dish.

>> No.9554571
File: 27 KB, 657x527, 1507002178671.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9554571

>>9548624

i wub u 2 anon

>> No.9554576

>>9552485
do it in the pan, when it bubbles finish it under the grill in the same pan. fold.

>> No.9554579

>>9550038

what does this do?

what did he mean by this?

>> No.9554584

Mixed up corn starch and corn meal

>> No.9554632
File: 7 KB, 150x201, 1325037206128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9554632

>Spend hours making a pho-ish broth
>Strain it right into the sink

>> No.9554660

>>9550947
What a comfy memory. This story doesn't belong here

>> No.9554665

>>9552214
salty milk and coins is associated with the acidic and copper taste of pussy you fag

>> No.9555039

>>9550390
Fuck it,ok here is your (you)

>> No.9555124

I misread a recipe and without thinking, added a quarter of a cup of black pepper.

That wasn't the only thing I misread. It was so bad that the black pepper helped it taste better.

I managed to eat about three pieces before I threw it all in the trash.

>> No.9555501

>Be stupid 15 year old
>Want to make chili
>Don't know how
>Don't have any ingredients
>Dump a can of tomato soup in a pot
>Then a can of veggie soup
>Then a can of chicken noodle soup
>Then a can of beans
>Cook it
>Tastes like shit
>Crumble up some crackers
>Tastes like shit
>Dump in some hot sauce
>Tastes like shit
>Put a scoop of peanut butter in it
>Tastes like shit
>Try adding some shredded cheese
>Tastes like shit
>Dump in a can of tuna
>Tastes slightly less shit

>> No.9555507

I was so hungry I once ate sliced uncooked hot dogs mixed in with ketchup, mustard, and plain cheerios.

>> No.9555518

I was making lamb and Guinness stew for my friends for St Patty's this year and for whatever reason it kept tasting like it needed more salt. By the time it finished stewing and got served it was too fucking salty and I pissed everyone off.

>> No.9555532
File: 55 KB, 380x307, 1506112983328.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9555532

>>9551380
Daijobu

>> No.9555671
File: 181 KB, 776x1054, 1467273726627.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9555671

>making korean fried chicken
>recipe calls for coating it with some baking powder to dry it out before frying
>accidentally use baking soda
It's hard to describe how gross the aftertaste was.

>> No.9555771

>>9549557
Maybe if the D.A.R.E. program actually did shit then maybe kids would be actually informed about drugs and know not to take them too young.

>> No.9556190

>>9554437
No idea. I'd actually used the same recipe several times before, and somehow didn't notice the difference.
I have a special brain.

>> No.9556199

>>9548602
Trying to make fried rice with raw rice

>> No.9556209

>>9552485
do ya got water in the egg? thats what i needed to fix my omelettes

>> No.9556211

>>9555671
Made biscuits one time and used a tbsp of baking soda instead of powder, they were inedible. It's like the flavor of salt without the saltiness.

>> No.9556225

>>9556199
That's pretty funny anon. At least it was just rice, not something really expensive.

>> No.9556235 [DELETED] 
File: 55 KB, 393x500, 1427372589712.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9556235

>>9550992
>goes on text based image forum
>becomes enraged when he sees text
faggot

>> No.9556282

>>9550174
Bullshit, you are making this up. The dough wouldn't have clumped together without the eggs, unless you did crack them, but added the shells, too.

>> No.9556620
File: 184 KB, 338x414, [Asenshi] Amanchu! - 06 [DD437ED2].mkv_snapshot_14.55_[2016.08.19_12.54.01].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9556620

>turned on the wrong stove
>melted my spatula

>> No.9556734

>>9550992
Have you heard of something we in the trade call punctuation?

>> No.9556747

I weekly brake things in my kitchen

>> No.9556994
File: 1.28 MB, 1334x750, IMG_4824.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9556994

>>9549409
>water

>> No.9556999

>>9549557
Fuck off mate, you should know better than a anyone that not everyone comes from a good place.

>> No.9557012

>>9548602

Not my fault but it directly impacted me.

>be 14
>stepfather is a fucking retard
>tries to make some pasta
>leaves on stove unattended
>boils over, extinguishes flame
>gas explosion several minutes later
>nobody hurt, but home is basically toasted

Surprise, this was followed by a divorce.

>> No.9557134

>>9548602
>be 18
>learning to cook
>text mom I'm making dinner tonight
>linguine carbonara, from a cookbook I just got
>boil pasta, mix egg yolks salt pepper and parmesan in bowl, cook bacon in pan, remove then put some garlic and red onion into same pan
>so far so good
>tells me to put all three things into a skillet
>wtf is a skillet
>grab a griddle that my mom uses to make pancakes
>this can't be right but recipe says so let's go I guess
>dump everything onto it
>spaghetti goes fucking everywhere
>try to mix it
>make an even larger mess
>mom comes home
>wtf did my retarded son do

>> No.9557140

>making french bread
>recipe says to put a deep pan in the oven while its preheating so you can put ice cubes in it to steam and harden the bread crust
>explicitly says to not use glass
>retard me thought it said to use glass
>put the bread in
>throw the ice cubes on the hot glass dish
>it shatters instantly
>can't clean it up right away because its hot
>mom finds it later in the night
Just fuck my shit up senpai

>> No.9557147

>>9556994
Ellen Degenerate.

>> No.9557174
File: 1.32 MB, 640x1136, IMG_0001.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557174

>be me first time making spaghetti
>start boiling noodles
>top of noodles sticking out of pot
>bottom of noodles began to soften
>top of noodles end up in the burner
>noodles on fire
>mfw set fire to spaghetti

>> No.9557188

>>9549647
that "burnt" rice is often considered the best part

>> No.9557365

>>9551457
I've done this

>> No.9557423
File: 49 KB, 620x620, Whenever I do cooking.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557423

>try making french fries
>succeed
>wish they were crispier
>how do I do that.png
>probably needs more oil
>probably needs higher initial temperature
>pour the chips in the oil
>starts spilling
>ignites instantly on the gas kitchen stove
>the flames reach 1.5 m height before the spilling oil floods the gas stove and extinguishes the gas, stopping further oil ignition
>mfw it was 1 AM
>mfw there are no alarms in my building
>mfw I almost burned hundreds of people to death

>> No.9557464

>>9548647
same

>> No.9557475

>>9548875
have you ever cooked before?

>> No.9557481
File: 589 KB, 800x2810, 1488640919199.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557481

>>9551463

>> No.9557494

>>9549557
Have fun beeing a sad fuck

>> No.9557496

>>9549784
Why?

>> No.9557510
File: 78 KB, 1008x568, imposibru[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557510

>>9557174
>top of noodles end up in the burner

>> No.9557517

>>9556282

Fuck you it wasn't even cooked through

>> No.9557681
File: 160 KB, 992x813, Eminem-michael58-30629860-992-813.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557681

>>9550390
And I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
I don't know, it's just the way I am

>> No.9557684

>>9548602
i usually get a nuggets and a small fry.

I like Seinfeld and collect hubcaps. Thanks OP

>> No.9557714

>>9557684
small fries*

>> No.9557724

>>9550390
You should start a tumblr blog.

>> No.9557745

>>9548602
Not my mistake, but we were a man short in the kitchen one day, and this dipshit dishwasher I worked with got asked to make a 5-gallon batch of potato salad to help out our prep. This fucking moron makes five gallons of potato salad with raw fucking potatoes. I still groan thinking about that.

>> No.9557767
File: 75 KB, 348x301, 1447375692413.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557767

>>9553128
jesus christ anon

>> No.9557818

>>9557012
>Surprise, this was followed by a divorce.
The accident only accelerated the inevitable.

>> No.9557826

>>9557423
>mfw there are no alarms in my building
what kind of shithole country do you live in ?

>> No.9557830

>>9550442
he already is

>> No.9557847
File: 174 KB, 712x1024, Leave.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9557847

>>9551146
You know where to go.

>> No.9557851

>>9557481
Rekt.
>"4chan isn't an anime website"
>has the gall to call anyone else a newfag
Name me what the first two boards were. Hint; if you allude to the idea that times have changed and the main user base is not the majority anymore (which is wrong), you are admitting to being an immigrant.

>> No.9557857

Sometimes I forget to add salt to dough and then end up with disgusting bread.

>> No.9557868

>>9557423
>>mfw there are no alarms in my building

this is the most disturbing about the whole story

>> No.9557903

>Be 7
>Want to cut onions
>Hold onion in palm of hand
>Stab knife into it
>Stab hand
>Cry and get stitches
>Still like onions

>> No.9557914

>>9556282
It would have unless he was making a pound cake. It just would've been closer to a bread dough than a cake batter.

>> No.9557959

>>9548602
Was a kid and wanted to make pretzels. Instead of using baking soda in boiling water to soak them, I used baking powder. I ended up making a pan of fucking Loony Toons cum, figured "waste not, want not," dipped the pretzels in it and baked them.

Everything went straight from the oven to the trash.

>> No.9558062

>>9554632
Kek
>Making first wort, finally pouring into primary fermenter
>Bottling spigot is open

>> No.9558093

>>9557959
>loony tunes cum
i am 12 and wat is this

>> No.9558120

>>9558093
Baking powder has cream of tartar and/or corn starch in it, so he ended up with a thicker starchy white liquid instead of just having baking soda dissolved in water

>> No.9558127

>>9558120
oh no, I'm quite aware that it probably looked like cum. But what kind of fucking descriptor is loony tunes cum. is it like silly string or something????????

>> No.9558335

>>9558127
I made almost a quart of bubbling, fizzing cum-like glop. At the time of writing, it seemed like an apt descriptor for something so cartoonish.

>> No.9558489

>>9551525
That's sir first technician rimmer to you lister

>> No.9558513

tablespoon of [blank] instead of teaspoon of [blank]

I still do this from time to time.

>> No.9558523

>>9555501
So only tuna was able to mask all the other tastes... kek. I'd probably puke if I could taste the tuna and the peanut butter at the same time.

>> No.9558536

>>9550166
When this happens at my store we make a log of everything that the customer forgot, so if they happen to come back we can make sure they get everything that they purchased. If you have the receipt, it's worth a shot. Hell it's worth a shot even if you don't, assuming you can list what was forgotten. Hopefully the store has nice managers.

>> No.9558581
File: 20 KB, 454x396, 1405991979255.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9558581

>>9552215

>> No.9559017

>>9549453
You killed your dog

>> No.9559040

>>9549453
reminder you shouldnt give leftovers to your dogs.
It's not healthy for them, especially for amerilards with all their greasy foods

>> No.9559089

>>9551029
>My roomie's a cocktail of bad cooking habits though
Same here. I'm not even a good cook by any means, but jfc he can be retarded. He has a habit of getting hammered, baking frozen pizzas, and ALWAYS cutting them with a serrated knife directly on the counter top.

>> No.9559150

Probably the worst thing I've done, and I did it last week
>Want to make garlic mashed potatoes
>Recipe calls for two cloves of garlic
>Think that the bulb is one clove
>Dice two of those fuckers and put it in
>Taters are inedible because they're so fucking bitter
>Haven't thrown it away yet because I think it can be salvaged, just not sure how
I hate myself

>> No.9559156
File: 11 KB, 356x297, 1487394418486.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559156

>>9548602
Posting on /ck/ during burger hours and expecting a meaningful response. Go get your fucking McDonalds you fat fuck; no wonder your race is going extinct.

>> No.9559191

>>9558513
I do it on accident with cayenne on a regular basis

I call it the oooooool' dumpa dumpa

>> No.9559213
File: 21 KB, 480x360, passthecayenne.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559213

>>9559191
>ooooooooooool' dumpa dumpa
I see you have yet to master the ooooooooooool' shake-a shake-a

>> No.9559223
File: 668 KB, 640x960, antivirus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559223

>>9559213
I'm still learning the tapa tapa but I'll get there soon enough

>> No.9559239

>>9559223
Try going around the outside, first.

>> No.9559249

>>9548896
Wife did this many years ago with brownies, funny enough, it tasted better a few days later

>> No.9559301

>>9548602
Burnt my dick making pizza rolls naked when I was 11.

>> No.9559493
File: 250 KB, 463x498, 9NgA.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559493

>decide to cook potato in microwave
>press potato button
>didnt know the potato button kept cooking until you stopped it
>leave
>potato catches fire

>> No.9559499

>>9554579
it makes it cold instead of hot

>> No.9559529
File: 6 KB, 252x189, 1320700079310.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559529

>making chili for the first time
>for some reason panic about it being too thick, pour in way too much water
>don't simmer it for longer than 15 minutes
>mfw eating weak mince soup

Also have left a couple of frozen pizzas in the oven while passing out drunk in my wild uni days.

>> No.9559564
File: 7 KB, 231x218, 1458089814781.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559564

>>9548795
Close one. You and your friends nearly got salmonella

>> No.9559570

>>9549453
Oh my god are you for real

>> No.9559585
File: 70 KB, 382x363, 1427608089281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559585

>>9550079
He's right

>> No.9559594

>>9550390
Sort yourself out

>> No.9559598
File: 76 KB, 788x681, 1409749254062.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559598

>>9556999
>trips wasted on this tumblr tier shit
if i take that weed off will you die

>> No.9559616

>>9550390
Is this the same guy from the other thread about eating McChickens? You're a thin-skinned manchild, admit it

>> No.9559624

>>9548602
Accidentally put cumin in my oatmeal instead of cinnamon. It was terrible but I ate it anyway.

>> No.9559797

>>9549666
>>9549854
>>9550089
>>9551175
>>9552035
>>9553977
>>9555771
>>9556999
>>9557494
HAHA DUDE WEED AMIRITE
#STILLFEELINGTHEBURN

>> No.9559963
File: 185 KB, 700x700, 1496481448721.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559963

>Can't find 1 tbsp measuring spoon
>Use 1/2 tbsp
>Forget it's not 1 tbsp
>Ratio is off

>> No.9559977
File: 176 KB, 368x555, minnow's realization.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9559977

>>9548602
>Be 8
>Making cereal
>Grab a carton of milk and put it on the cereal
>"This mil is really thick"
>It was custard

>> No.9559991

>>9559797
Seems you can't handle the bants, anon.

>> No.9559994

>>9559977
>Be like 12
>Family friends are over
>8 year old wants cereal
>Pour the cocoa pebbles
>Out of milk
>Thought buttermilk would work the same
>It's all chunky
>His sad face when he bit into it

>> No.9560017

>>9553128
My friend tried steaming crab in the dorm kitchen. Said his family liked it like that. But he put one of those shitty plastic steamers that you get in a rice cooker in an OXO stainless steel pot, kind of fills it with hardly any water, and leaves it alone. The entire dorm building smelled of chemicals and smoke. He still ate the crab.

>> No.9560050
File: 99 KB, 254x276, egff.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9560050

>>9557134
>wtf is a skillet

I've got a story about this
>In the mood to make pancakes
>Try a recipe I found online for fluffy pancakes
>Need a skillet
>Don't know what that is
>Just use the frypan my mom uses for her pancakes
>Finish
>They look and taste as flat as when my mom makes them

>> No.9560080
File: 108 KB, 1000x564, apu friend.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9560080

>>9548624
me too fren

he is pure and wholesome and lovely

>> No.9560090

>>9548602
Not wearing a shirt while cooking with FUCKING HOT OIL.

>> No.9560106

>>9548602
left pasta boiling for two days

>> No.9560184

>>9551205
>shelling peas
>put shells in pot
>put peas in trash

>> No.9560462
File: 172 KB, 1440x1251, 322B8675-FDE6-40EA-A252-F6DFC2A2C9AA.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9560462

>>9551806
Why the fuck do you have that image saved on your computer

>> No.9560503

Nutmeg is intense stuff.

Thought I could use it liberally like cinnamon. Whoops.

>> No.9560598

>>9549821
Kek

>> No.9560617

>>9560106
.... really? seems like shitpost at first, but if the pot was big enough ...

>> No.9560620

>>9551155
I went full retard making mac and cheese a few weeks ago and put a full cup of milk instead of 1/4th cup after already putting the butter in.

>> No.9560626

>freeze onion scraps for vegetable broth when i make soups
>one time froze half an onion because i was out of ziplocks and said 'fuck it'
>next night forgot to buy more onions, making a curry
>thought 'what the hell" and pulled out the half onion, let it thaw, chopped it up, and stir fried it

End result was I ended up hand picking them out because the onions just tasted soggy and absolutely disgusting.

>> No.9561046

>>9560617
it was a big pot filled with water to the top and it was simmering, i also was lucky and they cut the gas on the building the second day to fix some shit
i cam home and there was this thick layer of burned shit stuck to the bottom, i somehow managet to save the pot since it was teflon

>> No.9561064

I rarely do a big mess in the kitchen but this one is memorable:
>make lots of sauerkraut to eat with sandwiches and mashed potato
>forget about it literally after eating just a tablespoon
>remember about it 3 days later
>it's still decent
>have to travel with family
>forget jar half open
>A filthy based ecosystem evolved in my kitchen

>>9557494
I never drank alcohol, nor did drugs or any other kind of degeneracy and my life is definitely not boring as i do new things constantly. Achieving success is the best way to happiness

>> No.9561096
File: 7 KB, 224x225, 1506392279599.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9561096

>be me
>16
>cook beef every other day once home from school
>have 4 year old baby sister at the time
>she's wanting Goldfish crackers
>while I ready my stove pan I pour her some
>The plate I used was white and rectangular like the beef plate thing (keep in mind)
>pour crackers and set them down on table
>yell for her and grab the "beef"
>turn the plate over on the stove pan just to see Goldfish go everywhere
>mfw I mistook the goldfish cracker plate for the beef plate container
>80+ little cracker fucks all over the place
>the ones on the pan start burning
>search for flour to put out fire
>none to be found
>slapmyassandcallmesally.jpg
>apply oven mittens and carry stove pan outside into the cold winter
>chuck it like I'm pitching for Babe Ruth
>Mom comes home
>family torments me for it
>be 20 now
>still get called "Long John Silver" and "Captain D's" for it.

>> No.9561119

ok it says mistake so i'm not gonna talk about the oven fish sticks debacle so here goes
>making chicken curry for the first time
>never had curry before
>find one recipe that doesn't require dodo bird milk
>reading recipe from across the kitchen with own two shitty eyes
>1 tsp flour
>grabs tbsp
>actual spoon
>heaping
>curry congeals into solid lump after two minutes

>> No.9561136
File: 636 KB, 807x778, 4c7.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9561136

>Vacationing in old house
>Use gas stove to heat up water
>Didn't light it
>After awhile people smell the gas
>"Oh, I'm sorry I'll turn it off"
>Family try to stop me but don't emphasize the danger
>Turn knob back past the light
>A little slower and I would have killed myself and entire family

>> No.9561152

>>9549823
sounds gross, how was it?

>> No.9561154

>>9561136
This is why I'd rather put up with the few downsides of an electric stove.

>> No.9561161

>>9556199
holy shit how old were u?

>> No.9561179

>>9548602
Falling asleep.

>> No.9561198

>>9548602
used freshly cooked potatos for hashbrowns instead of letting them rest for a day. shit was awful

>> No.9561391

I once triee making a protein shake with carbonated mineral water.

It exploded the moment I shook it.

>> No.9561422

>bought microwave oven a few years ago
>not knowing some quirks of how it works
>went to warm up some pork greaves
>nice big ones, but cold and rubbery from being in the fridge all night
>set microwave to medium, 1 minute
>40 seconds later BANG
>panic
>shut that shit down
>open it
>plate empty
>biggest greave exploded and blew everything off plate and up walls and into corners
>spend 30 minutes scrubbing bits of vaporized lard out

>> No.9561442

got high off nutmeg
(its shit btw)

>> No.9561460
File: 105 KB, 1280x720, 1494623736414.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9561460

>>9548602
The other night when I made Paella, My Chorizo had gotten abit slimy in the pack despite the 10/02/2018 sell by, It smelt off but I really wanted to eat it and I didnt think it smelled that bad, it was just slightly off smelling so I just washed it under the cold tap for a few minutes and then it smelt fine so I cooked it anyway, still when it was cooked it tasted like something was there but it was minute and barely noticable only when biting into the Chorizo by itself. I had horrible nightmares that night which I dont normally get and I think it was because of the bad Chorizo. Yesterday when I smelled the leftovers there was a definite smell, Separating the Chorizo it was easy to tell It was that, It smelt really bad almost kinda rancid but not quite as bad as that, So I had to comb through the whole pot picking out all the Chorizo anyway, Couldve saved myself the trouble and just thrown the Chorizo when It smelt bad like I shouldve.

>> No.9561472
File: 84 KB, 702x486, spenn (1).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9561472

>>9561460
r u spen?!

>> No.9561477

>college dining hall
>making a cup of coffee
>pretty girl comes up to make one, too
>she says 'hi' and giggles
>say 'hi' back
>dump sugar in trash and packet in coffee
>we both stare at it for about 5 seconds and burst out laughing

college was a great time

>> No.9561493
File: 1.12 MB, 2048x1972, 1500813517009.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9561493

>>9561472

>> No.9561710

>>9559156
you probably expected to get multiple replies out of this, didn't you?

>> No.9561764

>>9548602
you know how curry and cinnamon look pretty similar

>> No.9561768

>>9548802
That's how I make scrambled eggs. I whisk them pretty slowly too, so the whites stand out a bit.

>> No.9561793

>>9550390
Too obvious right from the first sentence.

>> No.9561989

>>9561064
>filthy based

>> No.9562182

>>9550390
>People have made me the way I am.
Are you a sex doll or a clay statue?

>>9561136
>>Turn knob back past the light
Don't you have to press the knob (or a separate button) to activate the sparks?

>> No.9562284

Did not keep an eye on the soba noodles and overcooked them, proceeded to add them to a stirfry I was making and thought I could salvage it. I could not

>> No.9563016
File: 23 KB, 485x491, IMG_1460.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9563016

One time i killed myself