/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9323847]

>first day as dishwasher at the finest Japanese restaurant in my city
>take out my kiritsuke knife half-way through the shift
>audible gasps from the kitchen staff
>I approach the head chef
>snatch the piece of monkfish right from his hand
>fillet and slice the fucker within a blink of an eye
>he says it's the most beautiful presentation of fish he's ever seen and immediately commits sudoku in shame

So, what was your Saturday like, /ck/?

[Anonymous No.9323856]

>things that didn't happen

[Anonymous No.9323865]

>>9323847
wow anon, your so cool!

[Anonymous No.9323867]

I slept all day and didn't cook anything until like 10pm. Your story is cool too OP

[Anonymous No.9323894]

>>9323847
the knife wasn't really enchanted op!

the magic was in you all alo-


oh no wait the knife was magic..

[Anonymous No.9323917]

>>9323847
First of all, op is a fag
Second, monkfish looks like shit. Its the pork tenderloin of fish

[Anonymous No.9323929]

>>9323847
fucking savage

[Anonymous No.9323934]

I looked at penises on Craigslist for a while then fapped, went to kfc and now I'm at home watching the Simpsons.

[Anonymous No.9323946]

masturbated multiple times, slept and cried a little
also ate a lot of rice since its pretty much the only thing i have left in home and im too sad to go out and do groceries

[Anonymous No.9323955]

>>9323847
>Cleaned my apartment from around 12 A.M. to 5:00 A.M.
>Watched Breaking Bad until 9:30 A.M.
>Went to brunch and farmer's market with my mom
>Came back home uncomfortably full at 12:00 P.M.
>Continued watching Breaking Bad in bed
>Diarrhea every 30 mins until 4:30 P.M.
>Slept until 11:30 P.M.
>It's now 12:10 A.M. on Sunday

I left off at the end of season 3 of Breaking Bad in 2012, so now I've spent the past week working on watching the entire show from start to finish. I'm near the end of season 4, finally.

[Anonymous No.9323965]

>>9323955
someone dies

[Anonymous No.9323967]

>>9323934

I feel like there's better places on the internet to look at penises than craigslist

[Anonymous No.9323973]

>wake up hungover as fuck
>feel like death, try to get gf to blow me or something cause I think it will make me feel better
>she has to go to work, says she'll take care of me when she gets home from work
>take her to her work, grab kolaches on the way
>drive past burger king on way home
>see sign for 2 whoppers for 6 bucks
>havent had one in ages so grab two
>get home, eat them and try not to puke
>watch some little league, jerk off and pass out
>wake up and go for a walk
>come home and jerk off again
>go do laundry
>filthy negroid keeps asking where I played football and trying to sell me mid-90's CD-ROM games and phone chargers
>shower
>make some dope meatballs for gf when she gets home
>now im watching 30 minutes or less on tv and its shit

[Anonymous No.9323979]

>>9323967
/r9k/ is pretty good. They have an excellent selection of boy penises and girl penises.

[Anonymous No.9324001]

>>9323967
Where do you go to look at penis?

[Anonymous No.9324028]

>>9323847
>I'm working the night shift with the new dishwasher
>this guy comes in with a really expensive knife
>you can almost smell the futa on him
>dead pan stares the head chef
>he yanks the pre-filleted flake off the chefs chopping board
>proceeds to mangle the fish with all the precision of a drunken blowfly
>takes the end off of his finger
>laughs in the head chefs face
>the rest of the line watches in horror
>this dishwasher waddles out of the restaurant holding his bloody stump

[Anonymous No.9324140]

>>9323847
>commits sudoku in shame

[Anonymous No.9324180]

>>9323847
Hey was this in Sussex I was there

[Quiche !!T2UdrWkLSWB No.9324276]

>>9323847
Tbh, kiritsuke are exec knivez for a reason; halfway between a suji and an usuba, both of which are hard to master and without which there is little point in owning one.
I trialled at a members club I used to work at, seems like a nice balance; they have fine dining, weddings, easy lunch, and soon deli style kitchens that can be switched between
Sharpened up the knives and made a nice soup with toms from my garden
Nice day

[Anonymous No.9324406]

>>9323973
your under 6 feet right?

[Anonymous No.9324492]

>>9323856
op wasnt expecting you to believe it dipshit. Its called humor. Look into it.

[Anonymous No.9324496]

>>9323967
Its the best place to check out local penises

[Anonymous No.9324500]

>>9323973
>watch some little league, jerk off

[Anonymous No.9324503]

>>9324500
poseur

[Anonymous No.9324515]

>>9323847
Woke at 12, started masturbating at 14 until 18, made dinner, then masturbate from 22 to 2.

Rincz and repeat

[Anonymous No.9324529]

>>9323856
>>9323865
>>9323894
>>9323917
>>9323929
why are you even on this forum?

[Anonymous No.9324601]

>>9324529
>forum
why are you even here

[Anonymous No.9324685]

>>9323856

[Anonymous No.9324763]

>>9324601
Holy shit it's a real redditor. Hi, can I touch you?

[Anonymous No.9324803]

>>9324406

No, Im 6 foot even

[Anonymous No.9325653]

>>9323847
>tfw people didn't get OP's story because they don't know about the weird Japanese kitchen order of rank thing that forbids anyone but the head chef to use the Kiritsuke knife in the kitchen

[Anonymous No.9326513]

>>9323847
You forgot the part where you tipped your fedora

[Anonymous No.9326542]

>>9323847
>stainless suminagashi kiritsuke
absolutely disgusting

[Anonymous No.9326744]

>>9323973

how much do you weigh

[Anonymous No.9326769]

>>9323847

>wake up
>puke, go to work
>coffee, carrot bits
>prep prep
>cook cook
>clean clean
>go home
>drink and watch animu
>rinse and repeat

an heroing soon. hate it now that its the job. not a lot of joy left. gf went to grad school, on a break after some drunk argument

bye y'all, good laughs

[Anonymous No.9328003]

>>9326744

I usually float around 200 lbs

[Anonymous No.9328585]

>>9323847
i pooped and it splashed my butthole

[Anonymous No.9328597]

>>9326769
Stop watching anime and stop drinking

[Anonymous No.9328622]

>>9324492
Humor is supposed to be funny.