/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:04:04 2017 No.9229386 [Reply] [Original]

Is there a more arrogant dried fruit than figs?

>full of antioxidants
>sweet yet healthy
>lucious interior gel keeps me coming back for more
>high fiber

It knows its the shit. Look at that smug little cunt. Much more smug than the humble dried apricot. All hail the dried apricot.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:06:22 2017 No.9229398 >>9229386 >fig tree in backyard >won't stop bearing fruit >fruit i can't reach attracts fruit flies >fig tree fruit fly fuck fest goddammit you fucker i'm sick of figs

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:07:36 2017 No.9229402 Ever had a fresh fig ? Gross, like eating a flower, no jammy goodness. Dried figs are the bomb. You know, to make a fig, a wasp has to crawl in there and die ? Then the fig grows around it. True story I think.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:11:38 2017 No.9229415 File: 10 KB, 450x297, zvvmvm.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9229402 >True story I think

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:18:30 2017 No.9229435 >sliced fig and goat cheese Patrician's choice

Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:20:04 2017 No.9229446

I am about to ruin figs for you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fig_wasp

Ever wonder how figs get fertilized when all the shit is on the inside? Meet the Fig Wasp. Every fig needs a fig wasp.

The fig wasp burrows inside and pollen on its body fertilizes the fig. Then the fig uses enzymes to dissolve and consume the wasp. Then you eat the fig.

Enjoy your figs.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:21:04 2017 No.9229452 >>9229402 >You know, to make a fig, a wasp has to crawl in there and die ? Then the fig grows around it. True story I think. that's what a gall is. parasite, nothing to do with the fruit itself

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:21:49 2017 No.9229456 >>9229402 The wasp crawls into the fig and pollinates it and dies inside, but then the fig completely digests the wasp, leaving no wasp bits behind to eat. Basically figs are metal as shit

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:22:42 2017 No.9229461 >>9229446 Looks like veganfags can't have figs yeeehaw

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:24:33 2017 No.9229468 File: 27 KB, 600x760, 1488936149743.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9229461

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:24:53 2017 No.9229469 ITT: I learn that figs scare the shit out of me now.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:25:10 2017 No.9229471 >>9229446 Cool that's awesome.

Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:26:09 2017 No.9229475

>>9229446
Why does that ruin figs? There's bugs in pretty much every cereal/canned/processed food you eat. Your face is covered in living, happy, healthy bacteria and thousands of tiny skin crabs. Fig wasps are only gross if you're an ignorant man-baby.

Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:32:12 2017 No.9229503

>>9229456
I mean thats wrong, but whatever.

They lay eggs in the fig, THEN die.
The eggs hatch and babby wasps crawl out of the fig but only after they have a fuck/murder fest and the preggo babbies go into other figs, therefore cross pollinating them.

The wasps are smaller than sesame seeds and you just dont notice the dead ones.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:33:33 2017 No.9229508 >>9229503 >you just dont notice the dead ones. I do now....would be what i'd say if i ever ate a fig again. which I'm not.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 15:52:21 2017 No.9229572 >>9229398 Is fig wine a thing? You could scoop up all the ones you don't want to eat and ferment those bitches.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 16:11:08 2017 No.9229637 File: 34 KB, 574x628, 1501186811652.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9229461

Anonymous Fri Jul 28 16:27:35 2017 No.9229683
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>>9229446
whilst you are correct man has been more associated with figs then "apples" per se. Man has created seedless figs through generations of breeding- in turn giving us the common fig that will not require the fertilization process.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 16:38:08 2017 No.9229722 >>9229386 the only superior dried fruit is the humble dried plum whole dried bananas are pretty great too, but kind hard to get

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 16:41:21 2017 No.9229738 >>9229722 whole dried bananas you say? You may have just doomed my dehydrator

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 16:51:42 2017 No.9229775 >>9229722 >whole dried bananas are pretty great too, huh? So you can break a tooth? Dehydrated sliced bananas are delicious though, take on a caramelized and creamy taste.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 17:41:08 2017 No.9229948 That is so fucking strange about figs... it reminds me of that fake encyclopaedia of made up animals that sometimes gets posted. Nature can be so surreal, it this example almost seems evil from certain vantage point.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 20:14:16 2017 No.9230505 >>9229738 tiny ones are here for it but the metallic taste isn't that great at all

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 20:15:02 2017 No.9230508 >>9229398 Do you not own a ladder?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 20:32:15 2017 No.9230552 >>9229386 I love my kalamTa dried crown figs

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 28 23:54:49 2017 No.9231220 >>9229402 >He doesn't like freshly picked figs with freshly picked walnuts There has never been any more concentrated amount of pleb in one post.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 01:21:06 2017 No.9231556 >>9229398 i had this same problem until my tree died one winter. now it is impossible for me to get fresh figs anywhere. absolutely all figs from stores and farmers markets taste like shit if you have owned your own tree before

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 01:25:36 2017 No.9231568 I love dried figs. Has anyone here with a fig tree dried their own figs? How does it compare to the turkish/greek dried figs?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 01:38:56 2017 No.9231605 >>9229456 >>9229503 So your telling me plants are meat eaters? BTFO vegetarians.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 02:42:31 2017 No.9231758 >>9229402 The figs we buy in stores aren't pollinated by wasps, they're done by male and female trees. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DQTjv_u3Vc&t=1s

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 02:47:31 2017 No.9231773 >>9231568 I have but I've only ever had figs both fresh and dried that where grown ony tree.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 02:57:12 2017 No.9231794 >>9229572 40 proof Fig liquor is, not sure how they make it tho.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 10:28:10 2017 No.9232830 File: 43 KB, 738x540, DRIED-BANANA-FREEZE-DRIED-BEST-PRICE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9229775 they're not hard like banana chips at all

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 10:40:39 2017 No.9232854 File: 60 KB, 535x477, 1423180947240.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9229386 >go to the grocery store to buy walnuts, pistachios, figs, and apricots >turn on Tyrant >literally snack like a king

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 10:47:02 2017 No.9232874 >>9229398 >Not trading your extra figs for your neighbor's fresh limes

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 29 11:07:07 2017 No.9232921 >>9229402 Your fresh figs were probably far from ripe because you're a dumb estadounidense who panics when fruit starts to get soft.

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