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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9161935 No.9161935 [Reply] [Original]

ITT:

Things only you do at supermarkets

I'll start-
Instead of getting food off shelves in the supermarket, I just take what I need from other people's trollies when they're not looking.

>> No.9161948

lads

>> No.9161952

Rearrange coffee and chocolate flavour drinks

>> No.9161954

I'm usually the only one there buying exclusively whole plant ingredients.

>> No.9161957

i put cucumbers and lube in people's carts XDDDD

>> No.9161960

I eat/drink the 'free' part of an item in store and then leave

>> No.9161965
File: 29 KB, 412x430, 1475447498017.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161965

get ID'd all the fucking time by the FUCKING CUTE CASHIER GIRLS

STOP IT

>> No.9161966

One time a new cashier needed to call for help inputting Brussels sprouts because I was his first to buy any.

>> No.9161973

>>9161960
You should cross out that part of the label if you're going to do that.

>> No.9161976

Can I eat stuff before I pay for it?

>> No.9161978

>>9161935
I eat grapes in the store

>> No.9161979
File: 2.06 MB, 624x335, 1488118647345.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161979

I always take 2 free samples for myself. Sometimes I look around briefly as if 'm looking for the second person .

>> No.9161981

>>9161973
Don't tell me what to do

>> No.9161995

Me irl
https://youtu.be/JWtQW8vAslc

>> No.9162012

I say hi to people and I laugh when they try to walk away without saying a word

>> No.9162021

I take as long as possible at the self checkout. I get a buzz off the anxiety knowing there's an angry queue slowly building up behind me.

>> No.9162052
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9162052

I literally eat a full lunch in this aisle 3-4 times a week. I don't even bother putting in the charade that I am just samlpling anymore. I just chow down then leave. Those dried okras and the macadamia nuts are my jam

>> No.9162191

>>9162052
That's theft.

>> No.9162247

>>9161965

They want your address so they can come fug you in the night

>> No.9162277

>>9162191
no it's just piracy

>> No.9162327

>>9161935
At a regular supermarket I buy a trolley-full of cat litter and purchase one tub of margarine because I do most my groceries at costco

>> No.9162348

>go to store with my kid
>get in line
>start stacking things onto the checkout stand
>pretend I forgot something
>"hey I'll be right back!"
>leave my kid with a long line of people behind
>come back after far too much time has passed
>act like nothing happened

>> No.9162376

>>9161960
I don't understand, can you elaborate?
I've never seen this free stuff

>> No.9162405

on the condoms aisle is a product called man-delay. i will get a few of those and put in peoples baskets. they get upset when cashier rings up pervy item. i also make announcements on the intercom, usually to emberass some loser stock person.

>> No.9162412

>>9162376
Watch the video this anon posted >>9161995

>> No.9162419

>>9161995
Why do the other customers get so upset about that? I'd defend them...

>> No.9162437
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9162437

>>9162021
Muhh nigga

>> No.9162485
File: 1.35 MB, 400x400, 1354962945144.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9162485

>>9162348

>> No.9162486

>>9162419
Because they're being dumbasses and harassing the store owners. I'd charge them for everything they opened and if they didn't pay for it I'd call the cops.

>> No.9162490

>>9161935
Eat my chicken At the place where I got it

>> No.9162498

>>9161995
kek

>> No.9162503

>>9162348
>end up in nursing home when you're old

>> No.9162577

>>9161966
I've worked at a grocery store for 6 months, I've never rung up brusselsprouts.

>> No.9162675
File: 133 KB, 726x545, IMG_20170712_232523.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9162675

I call ahead for soda.
Once a week I order 20 2L bottles of Big K Diet Drop Red.
They usually only keep 6-10 on the shelf.

>> No.9162708

>>9162503
lmao

>> No.9162777

My neighbors cat leaves dead birds in my yard. I collect them and put them in a cunty woman's cart when she's not looking and then follow her around while fondling myself until she notices

>> No.9162978

>Shop store long enough to learn the numbers of important people paging for people over the intercom.
>Customer service has a phone that dials outside the store for customers who need to call home.
>If you don't hit #9 first, it acts like an employee phone.
>Turns out I didn't need to study the intercom, they have numbers to different managers, cashiers, etc on a cheat sheet on the phone.
>Find loss prevention's number, they pick up, act a little sheepish and tell them I locked myself out of the fuel kiosk outside.
>It's easily 105 outside.
>I can hear him groan and asks me if my manager could just unlock the door.
>Tell him I checked them first, they don't have a key for the door.
>"Fuck... okay, give me a minute..."
>Store now has nobody watching the cameras.
>Go fuck with customers shit unimpeded.
>Move random merchandise from one end of the store to another.
>Follow an employee trying to fix shelves and make it look like he didn't do his job.

>> No.9163211

>cashier or card terminal asks for a rewards account number
>enter random numbers until one works
Someone needs to save me from myself before it's too late

>> No.9163216

>>9162777
I was on board until the public masturbation.

Do you at least reward your kitty accomplice?

>> No.9163220

>>9162978
All that effort just to rearrange some shelves Jesus Christ

>> No.9163247

>>9163220
Being able to confuse cashiers on Christmas eve is a power no man should have at his fingertips.
>Tell five to swap with 3.
>Tell five of them to call for extra baggers, then tell two of those cashiers to go on break a few minutes later.
>Lines out the ass.
>Managers are freaking out trying to untangle the mess as customers are getting pissed.
>Overhead a Code Adam (Missing child)
>Activate the overhead and leave the phone alone (This turns off the music, drives employees up the wall.)

>> No.9163296

I sometimes wear an employee "outfit" since all they wear is a red shirt with a nametag and a cap. I tell people with carts completely full of stuff that they can take it for free as a special promotion and just walk out with it.
Lots have been gullible enough to believe me, they walk out and get stopped by guards.

>never caught

>> No.9163305

Goddamn jesters...

>> No.9163319

>>9163296
This never occurred to me.

So many lols could be had pretending to be an employee.

>> No.9163327
File: 19 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9163327

>>9163305
A comedian aye? SUBALUAH!!

>> No.9163389

>>9162277
Yeah, it is piracy, because you are the one leaving your nuts behind by doing that. No net loss in nuttage for the retailer.

You nutless prick.

>> No.9163402

>>9163389
thanks for explaining that joke so thoroughly I was awfully confused

>> No.9163455

>>9161979
RIP light rail avenger...

>> No.9163468

>>9161976
It's still the stores property until you've paid... But nonetheless people sometimes like a cheeky nibble

>> No.9163482

Put random shit in peoples trolleys
write in the ice cream

>> No.9163486

>>9161935
I make the employees that work at the bulk food area let me have a free sample even if the sign says no sampling!

>> No.9163487
File: 50 KB, 640x480, Suspicious monkey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9163487

>>9161954

>> No.9163493

>>9162675
t. terry davis

>> No.9163518

>>9161935

Take items from the very back of the shelf so I get the freshest food with the longest expiry date and staff don't have to face up after me.

>> No.9163539

>>9163518
You sick fuck.

>> No.9163549

>>9162486
They only took the free stuff though

>> No.9163728

>>9162978
If you're going to make things up at least try to make it interesting

>> No.9163834

I move the caution wet floor signs

Dance my rats, dance

>> No.9163845

>>9161935
>buying some soda
>approach soda fridge
>grab soda
>put soda in the ground
>grab second soda
>put it in the ground
>take all the soda out of the fridge until i get to the last one
>put the rest of te soda back in
>take the coldest soda home

>> No.9163848

>>9163845
I do this with beer but why the fuck do you take them all out? What is wrong with you?

Front is coldest but oldest. Back is newest but might be warm. There is nothing in the middle dumbass.

>> No.9163862

>>9163848
not with soda
store employees are too lazy to take all soda out so they just stock the fridge
cold soda is a fast moving product anyways, they will have to restock soon enough

>> No.9163930

I intentionally and meticulously inspect each shopping cart before I take it. When I first started this I had a notepad with things to check off so I could find the perfect shopping cart. Often I would pull out around 15 shopping carts before finding the perfect one. I want to make the shopping trolley collectors job as easy as possible so I will re organize them then and there when I am done. This isnt an easy process so unfortunately other shoppers have to wait for me to finish before they can access their shopping carts. I know the check list off by heart now so ive saved a lot of people a lot of time but they still get angry with me. Good thing my aunt is the security guard at the store so nobody fucks with me

>> No.9163954

>>9163930
What's the list? I want to be able to pick out a quality cart.

>> No.9163969

>>9163930
What the hell for? Don't like noisy ass aldi carts?

>> No.9164174

>>9162503
>"what the hell did i do to deserve this"

>> No.9164189
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9164189

Actually isn't stealing from the bulk nut dispensers etc actually just piracy?

Like, vegetables and nuts just regrow from seeds, like copies.

So is stealing food actually a crime since it can just clone from itself to the shelf for consumption?

>> No.9164192

>>9162486
relax Hassan, it's just a joke

>> No.9164211

>>9164189
(You)
Work harder on your bait next time

>> No.9164404

>>9163834
I follow the instructions and wet the floor.

>> No.9164506

>>9163930
>>9163954
>No no, Mr. Policeman, you are misunderstanding. I am not a pedophile. I was just smelling the childseat to make sure it was clean and fresh and I could select a mint condition shopping cart.

>> No.9164576

>>9163211
I always do the area code of where i am and 867 5309. Works about 95% of the time

>> No.9164866
File: 84 KB, 228x240, 1446510619477.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164866

>>9161935
>take some pork meat
>put it between the halal meat

>> No.9164883

>>9164866
>pork meat
Generally known as pork.

>> No.9164895

>>9164866
le ebin trole xd

>> No.9164927
File: 144 KB, 735x999, tesco-on-facebook-to-the-person-who-keeps-placing-pork-in-the-halal-meat-section-its-not-funny-whole-shelf-has-to-get-cleared-show-some-respect.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164927

>>9164866
bad man

>> No.9164962
File: 490 KB, 449x401, laughingTHOTs.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164962

>>9164927
>>9164866
>shopping in a place that offers kosher or halal

>> No.9164968

>>9164962
I live in Britain, everywhere sells halal

>> No.9164989

>>9164968
I'm glad I do not live in your country anon

>> No.9164993
File: 53 KB, 412x549, Tesco Gremlin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164993

>>9164989
most people are

>> No.9165058

>>9162577
4550. Hit me with your weirdest.

>> No.9165062

>>9161976
Most stores are too cucked to do anything about it to a customer. The LP is there to watch employees not you.

>> No.9165314

>>9164866
Deus vult.

>> No.9165328

Me irl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj0Xy0hkUOE

>> No.9165412

>>9165058
surely you don't know the PLU for bananas or cucumber :^)

>> No.9165481

>>9165412
4011. 4062 for conventional 4593 for hit house.
Cmon bruh.

>> No.9165493
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9165493

Take condiment packets from Gas Stations/Convenience stores/Taco Bells. Literally never have bought mustard, ketchup, mayo, Sugar or Sweet N Low for coffee. Also have a nice stash of Diablo and Fire sauce.

>> No.9165509
File: 329 KB, 1024x750, bulk-bins.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9165509

>>9161978
>I always take 2 free samples for myself. Sometimes I look around briefly as if 'm looking for the second person .

I don't get why someone can sample a grape to see if they are good, but can't sample a malted milk ball or chocolate covered toffee from the Bulk candy aisle.

>> No.9165533

>>9163518
I thought everyone did this

>> No.9165563

>>9165058
rhubarb, millet, chicken liver, go anon.

>> No.9165591

>>9165493
Everyone who isn't stupid does this.
>>9165509
Where are you shopping that you can just sample a grape and they won't bat an eye? I'm actually jealous.

>> No.9165604

When I worked as a CSR at night and was in the cash room, I always called the register furthest from the cashier and let it ring until someone picked up. I also use the phone speakers to scare shoppers by startling them with loud noises as they walked by phones in various departments. My favorite thing to do was make out of date pages, like telling new employees to go to layaway even though we had stopped that years ago.

>> No.9165616

>>9165062
This.
Even had LP flat out tell us that was what they do most of the time.

>> No.9165629

>>9165563
Rhubarb is 4745. We don't sell millet at my store anymore and I'm not good at the bulk foods anyways. Meat products have PLUs but are only used by the meat clerks for the items behind the counter, I just scan that shit.

>> No.9166250

>>9165629
Star fruit.
Are you supposed to scan store coupons first and then manufacture?

>> No.9166272

>>9161935
Find stuff that's expired, fill a basket with it, and hand it to the service desk people. They hate it when I do that.

>> No.9166297

>>9161935
Purchase food from one store and place those items of the shelf of a different store that does not sell that item.

>> No.9166328
File: 27 KB, 410x410, IMG_1885.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9166328

Take refrigerated items and deliberately hide them in non-refrigerated areas.
I once put a rotisserie chicken inside a vent and it was in there for five months.

>> No.9166353

Occasionally if I picked up something from the cold aisle and decide to chuck it I'll put it in the freezer. The gems I've found lurking from other shoppers in there

>> No.9166435

>>9166250
4256. I can't imagine a situation where it's ever mattered.

>> No.9166455

>>9165591
>Where are you shopping that you can just sample a grape and they won't bat an eye? I'm actually jealous.

America

>> No.9166467

>>9166328
I used to move heavy equipment. there were between 6 and 8 of us drivers employed at any one time. Someone, who shall remain unnamed, opened a can of tuna and hid it under the seat of the only female driver we had. This was Phoenix AZ summer. Many keks were had.

>> No.9166479

>>9165591
>Everyone who isn't stupid does this.
only a total pleb wants to open an entire packet every time they want sauce. Plus how fucking sad is it when someone comes by and asks for ketchup and you pull out packs like a fucking nigger working the drive thru

Ketchup, mustard, etc bottles literally cost like 3 bucks at the store.

>> No.9166483

>>9165058
Durian, jackfruit, and aloe vera

>> No.9166492

>>9166483
Jackfruit 3040. We only sell aloe vera potted and it scans. Never seen durian.

>> No.9166571

>>9165058
lemon grass, habenero peppers, chayote squash

>> No.9166628

>>9166571
4894, 3125, 4761

>> No.9166641
File: 118 KB, 615x455, SF64_Meteo_Intro.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9166641

>>9166628

>> No.9166692

Always take the second or third product from the shelf.

>> No.9166716

>>9166692
>>9166692
Never buy meatloaf or sausage made in house. It's made with the shit that's close to going bad.

>> No.9166733

If I get to aisle that I need some stuff from but there are people in the aisle, I make a note in my phone to return to that aisle on the way back.

>> No.9167397

>>9166467
Nice blog. Upvoted.

>> No.9167400

>>9161965
ayy birdbro canuck

>> No.9167766

>>9163845
this just sounds like you got the coldest cause you made the rest all warmer by taking them out of the fridge

>> No.9167778

>Ask seafood guy for a salmon.
>Get a salmon, go off to do more shopping.
>Place salmon behind toy area nobody uses. (Puzzles)
>Leave store.
>Come back next day, the toy isle is rank as fuck.

>> No.9168378

>>9161935
I make the people at the butcher's counter do my meat prep for whatever meal I'm planning to fix. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does it but I hardly ever see anyone else making requests of them.

>> No.9168434

>>9166628
this nigga is the real deal

>> No.9168446

>>9164192
Aye, it is a joke. But they're still opening up packages. Hope they paid for the stuff afterwards.

>> No.9168453

>>9162327
>trolley

is it on rails?

>> No.9168456

>>9162503
haha true

>> No.9168466

>>9161979
That sword guy gets a pass on being "sword guy" because of that form. That's just a bro who's mistaken on the significance of that form of blade, no harm in letting him have his apparently well-practiced fun.

>> No.9168506

OY MATE GUNNA TAKE THE CHIPS FROM THE TROLLEY AND HEAD TO THE TILL YA TAKIN THA PISS???

Jesus christ after our tiny little army destroyed your fucking empire we should have sailed across the Atlantic to exterminate the rest of you scraggely toothed fucks.

>> No.9168510

>>9168466
Are you not aware of who the Light Rail Avenger was?

>> No.9168531

>>9168453
Should it be?

>> No.9168532
File: 191 KB, 1600x900, IMG_1204.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9168532

>>9168506
Fucking right.
Why do Americans have such bad teeth?

>> No.9168612
File: 259 KB, 327x316, 1489743513474.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9168612

>>9168532
>Brit teeth so shit they're in and out of the dentist more than twice as often

You can't make this shit up.

>> No.9168621

>>9168532
Propaganda

>> No.9168661
File: 500 KB, 1280x1707, smug condescending peanut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9168661

>>9168506
>this is how Americans think we speak

Howling fattie

>> No.9168670

>>9162675
So do the 20 2L bottles get you through a whole week?

>> No.9168831

>>9162348
M-Mum?

>> No.9168967

>>9164866
Employees probably just take the pork away and say nothing so they don't have to empty all the meat
Even if the manager finds out that halal meat gets repackaged and sold as regular meat

>> No.9169027

>>9165328
D-dad?

>> No.9169043

>>9163247
You're either Rainman, or you used to work there
Either way you're a faggot

>> No.9169055

>>9161935
I often check out items that stand or lie around where they don't belong. Some other people must've considered buying, but then discarded them. They reflect other people's preferences. Something about them must have some value I do not grasp yet. Maybe they were thinking 'mmhh that stuff is so tasty -
but also so expensive - better put it back'. that's got to be good stuff.

>> No.9169084

buy 2 cans of izze and pay in exact change.
did it daily until the price changed on the sandwich I usually bought beforehand, so I couldn't pay for the drinks with exact, so I stopped buying both entirely.

>> No.9169210

>>9168532
>Why do Americans have such bad teeth?

Number of dental issues in the US is spiked by the amount of people who have no dental coverage. We have something of an obsession with cosmetic dentistry though among those who can afford it though.

>> No.9170856

Hide somewhere until the store closes then unleash havoc

>> No.9170917

>>9164962
nearly every consumer product is kosher nowadays, even aluminum foil

>> No.9170928

>>9166467
Heard this same exact story from an Air Force B-52 flight engineer about a female pilot. Your dude gets around.

>> No.9170929

>>9161935
Piss on the floor in the bathroom on purpose.

>> No.9170951

>fart in every single aisle
i cant be alone

>> No.9170954

I start in the bakery section and grab a donut to eat then do my shopping

>> No.9170958

>>9170951
how fucking gassy are you, this can't be healthy

>> No.9170970

>>9161935
When I walk into public restrooms, I aim my stream of urine at the toilet paper roll.

>> No.9170972

>>9162277
Would you download a car?

>> No.9170994
File: 1.32 MB, 288x231, 137220221323.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9170994

>>9162348
>>9162503

>> No.9171017

>>9161979
Grocery store guy
we literally don't give a fuck how many samples you take
if it's something you need to refrigerate then take as many as you want because we gotta throw that shit out after 10-15 minutes anyway if it's not eaten

>> No.9171047

>>9167778
if you're going to do that, do it with cod, grouper, snapper, wolffish, or mussels. Absolutely dreadful smelling when rotten.

T. seafood dude

>> No.9171117
File: 51 KB, 1024x576, 1499662451692.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9171117

>>9163518
you are a good guy anon

>> No.9171126

>>9161935
fake

>> No.9171950

>>9161965
Stoo buying only booze then. Makes you look like a narc

>> No.9171957

>>9170972
>he wouldn't download all the gold painted dlc cars
smhtbhfam

>> No.9172910
File: 440 KB, 800x580, I used to believe.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9172910

I used to pick up and eat a cookie or doughnut from the bakery at my grocery store every time I went as a kid. No one ever tried to stop me

>> No.9173624

>>9168661
4759

>> No.9174726

>>9161935

I am antisocial like pretty much 95% of 4chan. I don't do it to be 'edgy' I just am wired that way. So when I want a product and there is a motherfucking convention gathered around the aisle where said product is I just push through and grab that shit. I ain't got time to wait till your ass moves. I'm going right through your comfort zone to get what I want.

>> No.9175388

In the snacks section I break off as most bags of chips I can.
Using toothpicks (from free samples of jam and stuff) and poking bags of sugar, salt etc..

>> No.9175417

>>9174726
Really edgy kid. Does it make you feel powerful?

>> No.9175452

>>9175388
>16 and working at small grocery store
>owner is a piece of shit who's too cheap to do minor repairs to anything
>know i'm about to quit
>slice all bags of sugar, chips, and the plastic wrap on meat with my boxcutter on my last day

felt good man. they closed down pretty soon after too

>> No.9175953

>>9163468
Wrong. You can bring them an empty bag of chips and as long as they scan it they don't give a fuck.

>> No.9177066

>>9168967
halal is just the way its slaughtered
literally the only difference

>> No.9177187

Nowadays I don't do anything out of the ordinary but when I was a shitty little kid my brother and I used to stick our fingers through the cellophane wrapping the hamburger into the center of the meat. I'm surprised my mom didn't get perma banned but I guess they let it slide since she always bought a shitload of food.

>> No.9177214

>>9175388
fuck you

i bet your the FAGGOT who left that open bottle of salad dressing i picked up and spilled all over my clothes that one time