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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9160988 No.9160988[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

You're at the grocery store and this guy steals your avocado. What do you do?

>> No.9160990

>>9160988
Laugh

>> No.9160993

pick my avocado back up after the breath from me saying "hey dude that was my avocado" causes him to fly away like he was caught in a tornado.

>> No.9160994

>>9160988
Explain to him that my dark skin entitles me to this avocado and my ancestors planted these avocados

>> No.9160995
File: 92 KB, 780x438, faggots.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9160995

>>9160988
Father his child.

>> No.9161001

Give him another one and say "I'm sorry"

>> No.9161002

Not care because avocados are rancid ass shit

>> No.9161012

>>9160988
Oh I'm sorry OP, was your fucking NAME on that avocado?

What do you mean "steals your avocado"?

>> No.9161019

Ignore and make my way over to see that melon extravaganza.

>> No.9161036

>>9160988
Fearfully apologise.
I don't need no trouble with some tattooed sailor. They'll kill you as soon as look at you.

>> No.9161038

>>9160988
>steals your avocado
>your

did you pay for it?

>> No.9161053

>>9161012
>>9161038
If it's in my cart it's mine.

>> No.9161059

>>9161053
no it's not

>> No.9161060
File: 556 KB, 1332x828, 1496634192837.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161060

>>9161053
>people actually believe that's how it works

>> No.9161066

>>9161059
looks like were gonna fight then, I'm afraid to say :(

>> No.9161093

>>9160988
i picture him running away holding the avocado with both hands, climbing on top of the frozen section and eating it with his hands while looking aorund like a squirrel

>> No.9161102

Pick up another avocado and throw it at him. And continue doing it, screaming "IT'S THE AVOCADO MAN, ALL AVOCADOS FOR THE AVOCADO MAN!"

>> No.9161119
File: 32 KB, 453x500, a9e.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161119

>>9160988
>Being this Auchswitz-mode and still having a double chin
AIDS is a bitch

>> No.9161155
File: 14 KB, 300x168, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161155

>>9160988
You're at the grocery store and notice your favorite avocados cost 8 bucks a piece because this guy made it impossible to hire cheap mexican labor to harvest American produce and also started a trade war with Mexico making Mexican avocados harder to find/more expensive. His administration's policies are also charging grocery stores to accept food stamps, limiting the amount of fresh fruit and vegetables that starving children will have access to. What do you do?

>> No.9161162

>>9161155
Buy the avocado and eat with a baked egg while laughing at videos of illegals and their families crying when they get deported and then eat another with a slight amount of paprika while laughing at white guilt and sjw rekt vids
feelssogoodman.png

>> No.9161172
File: 3 KB, 101x125, AH HAHAH FAGGOT.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161172

>>9160988
laugh at his unmanly candy ass because he is a week little nu male bitch.

>> No.9161177
File: 2.39 MB, 297x229, Benito Mussolini.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161177

>>9161019
>melon extravaganza.
Sound like a cheep titty bar

>> No.9161178

VEGANISM.

NOT EVEN ONCE.

>> No.9161241

>>9161155
>What do you do?
Ask for the 'peach

>> No.9161273

>>9160988
He's a small guy

>> No.9161275

>>9160988
Id honestly laugh if i ever saw this thing in real life, and even if im a 5'6 manlet, he looks shorter than me.

Plus im brown so hed probably bend over.

>> No.9161297

>>9160988
*unsheathes katana*

>> No.9161300

>>9161155
It amuses me that your best argument for unregulated immigration is "how else would we exploit these people for cheap labor?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0TFayRZeS8

>> No.9161323

>>9161119
Yeah what the fuck? How does someone with such thin arms have such a chubby face? Does he really have AIDS dyslipofuckedupia or something.

>> No.9161339

>>9160988
What is that thing?

>> No.9161351

Probably threaten to punch him with a punching gesture and make him drop his avocado...then apologise and get on my knees to pick it up and repeat it was just a joke, hand it back to him and then as he's holding it swat it out of his hands, then say sorry again and keep handing it back to him and to see how many times it takes for him to stop saying 'it is fine heh...'

>> No.9161388

>>9161339
It says Johnny Righini

>> No.9161440

>>9161102
Most likely

>> No.9161454
File: 125 KB, 750x937, 4796411861748678656.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161454

Hey, baby. Avocado for your thoughts?

>> No.9161465

>>9161454
Is this viral marketing for the new aphex twin EP?

>> No.9161479

>>9161119
>>9161323
Might be bulimic, throwing up a lot can make your face get puffy

>> No.9161484

>>9161454
damn she's hawt

>> No.9161547

>>9160988
That guy is some freak of nature. He has no muscles on his body of any kind...or perhaps just barely enough for locomotion.

>> No.9161549

>>9160988
>You're at the grocery store and this guy steals your avocado

No he doesn't.

>> No.9161565

I don't believe that person shops at the same grocery stores I shop at. I mostly see middle aged middle class white and asian folks in my grocery stores, just living a normal 9-5 life and then shopping for their avocados like normal people do.

>> No.9161581

I think I'd let him have it, he looks like he needs all the avocados he can get

>> No.9161591

>>9160988
who is this guy and does he have a disease?

>> No.9161593
File: 59 KB, 920x537, pic_giant_092414_SM_David-Brooks-G.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9161593

>>9161565
>normal people
>shopping for avocados

>> No.9161620

>>9161479
Nah, he's just a vegan freak

https://www.instagram.com/johnnysjoys/?hl=en

>> No.9161623

>>9161119
He's a raw vegan. Doesn't have AIDS (AFAIK). He was a meme a few years ago.

>>9161178
Yup.

>>9161275
I saw him once. I think he's shorter than that. He's horrific looking.

>>9161323
Cushing syndrome. He takes some sort of med for something. Forgot what. I know he has OCD, though.

>>9161339
A raw vegan.

>>9161591
Yes. Orthorexia nervosa.

>> No.9161667

>>9161623
Yeah and the meme was AIDS. Srsly tho, fuck that guy.

>> No.9162332

>>9160988
Punch the fuckers head off like Jason Vorheese

>> No.9162344

>>9161547
Show your muscles, big guy. I see skinnier arms than that every day.

>> No.9162359
File: 81 KB, 500x443, JohnnyLovesOzuke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9162359

>blocks your path
>fee fi foo fum! eat a pickled plum or i'll fuck you in your bum!

>> No.9162388

>>9161620
>this creature is more confident in its appearance than I am in mine

>> No.9162390

>>9162359
I legitimely feel bad about this person

>> No.9162404

>>9162388
I gain confidence just from looking at it, I just think "at least I'll never be that freakishly ugly"

>> No.9162487

>he

That thing is a female to male tranny

>> No.9162488

>>9162487
Truly the nu-est of males

>> No.9162502

>>9160988

I really can't see him stealing.

>> No.9162981

>>9160988
>guy
That's a tranny

>>9160995
When did David Arquette get pregnant?

>> No.9163470

retards this guys a FtM transgender

this is "his" instagram

https://www.instagram.com/johnnysjoys/

>> No.9163488

>>9160988
There is literally nothing I can do to him that life has not already done worse. Death can only be a sweet release for the likes of him.

>> No.9163491

Sneeze near him and watch as he instantly dies due to his AIDS.

>> No.9163495
File: 40 KB, 500x667, Gordon_Ramsey_tries_some_of_that_dank_kush.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9163495

>>9163470
>reddit doesn't read the thread
Shocker

>> No.9163496

>>9160988
I pick it back up after that thing has collapsed on the ground from exhaustion after carrying a fully grown avocado for about 5 meters.

>> No.9163512

I'd buy it for him, ask him if he is going to the Swans concert later, maybe make small talk about the 2020 Prez election or how its perfectly acceptable to charge $10 for a house show *tips sea*

>> No.9163577
File: 49 KB, 590x350, cye.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9163577

>>9161059
>>9161060
>Grab the last of something and throw in cart
>someone just takes it out
>"sorry bro, you didn't pay for it so it's free game haha"

>> No.9163675

>>9162488
Kek, underrated

>> No.9163682

>>9163577
This. How can you faggots fuck up shopping so badly? Are you actually that autistic? Or does your mommy still shop for you? That would explain why you don't have a clue how people interact.

>> No.9164204

Cool avocados, Ahmed. Want to bring them to the White House?

>> No.9164284

>>9160988
scream and run away

>> No.9164301

>>9161593
>not going on an avocado hunt on wednesday evenings

>> No.9164315
File: 2.38 MB, 640x800, SWOLE_LEFT_U_MIRIN_BRAH.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164315

>>9160990
>>9160993
>>9161066
>>9161093
>>9161172
>>9161273
>>9161275
>>9161547
>>9162332
>>9163491
I BET YOU FAGGOTS WOULD NOT DO SHIT.

DUDE IS /fit/ AF!

>> No.9164323

>>9163682
>>9163577

If you took something out of my cart, especially if it were the last one on the shelves, things would get instantly violent. What the fuck are you thinking?

>> No.9164335

>>9164315
omg my boner

>> No.9164422

>>9161059
it would be wierd to just pick a fucking avocado out of someones trolley anyways

>> No.9164450
File: 207 KB, 652x960, afbabd26b1ae654ffa32cebc19ca374f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164450

>>9160988
id pretend to be a chicken and peck him with my face.. CAW CAW

>> No.9164457

>>9164323
Whoa no need to pull your gat, Dayqumarion.

>> No.9164484

>>9164323
Way to misinterpret my comment you illiterate fucking mongoloid. I agree with you. Why are there so many morons in the middle of the night?

>> No.9164504

>>9164484
Wow
Such mad
Such no love life confirmed

>> No.9164519

>>9164484
>Why are there so many morons in the middle of the night?
It's midday here in the Northern Hemisphere. You Southern Hemisphere cu/ck/s always find things to complain about. Stay jealous of northern pride!

>> No.9164598

>>9164519
How exactly do you think time zones work?

>> No.9164607

>>9164519
>being this dumb

>> No.9164619
File: 31 KB, 403x403, 1466588212786.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9164619

>>9164519

>> No.9164668

Walk away, that guy has tats. Not the type to be messed with

>> No.9164674

>>9160988
It can have it. Whatever.

>> No.9164695

>>9160988
What is he doing with that avocado? We know he isn't going to eat it.

>> No.9164707

>>9162359
lost

u got me fuker

>> No.9164738

>>9164315
Damn.
Ethan Klein has lost some weight.

>> No.9164743

>>9161155
Stop eating avocados, asparagus, etc (to be fair the only veg I buy regularly that were affected were those two) base meal plans on produce that remains cheap.
It was pretty easy.

>> No.9164757

>>9160988
bean him in the back of the head with a mato as he walks away

>> No.9165089

nothing, just laugh since he'll be the first to die on the day of the rope

>> No.9165528

>>9160988
I never expect to see an Ayyyden in /ck/. Well, I think I'd hit him with my purse and shove the avocado in his mouth.

then i'd toss each avocado the store has in stock at the security officers.

>> No.9165559

>>9161102
Kek

>> No.9167006

>>9160988
Avoid contact with the patient, call CDC, call FBI, go to decontamination station

>> No.9167113

>>9160988
How does someone have arms that weak and thin?
I don't lift or exercise but i work a physical job and my arm is twice the size of his.

>> No.9167119

>>9160988
Stab him

>> No.9167127

>>9160988
AveragehuWOmenintheuniversewherehillarywon.jpg

>> No.9168287

Can someone photoshop this guy into a human being?

>> No.9168328

I'd be pretty annoyed, I just spent 47 minutes picking up every avocado and feeling the density and weight and estimating the time left until I have to eat it. I'd probably shake my fist at him when he turns his back.

>> No.9169293
File: 116 KB, 705x874, 1499275842435.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9169293

>>9160988
ask myself why i was buying an avocado

>> No.9169391

>>9160988
he doesnt look like he has enough strength to lift an avocado

>> No.9169601

>>9160988
I'm black so that would never happen

>> No.9169633

>>9161053
>My cart
Do you bring your own cart to the grocery store?

>> No.9169671

>>9169633
possession is 9/10 of the law, judenstein

>> No.9169692

>>9160988
how can someone be so skinny yet have such a fat-person looking face?

>> No.9169700

>>9169692
It's what happens to people who eat avocados. I'll happen to you too.

>> No.9169703

>>9169293
that's fucking disgusting

>> No.9169710
File: 36 KB, 604x604, 1476648950397.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9169710

>>9169671
>lecturing a Jew on law and possession.
Come on, man.

>> No.9169717

>>9163470
>https://www.instagram.com/johnnysjoys/
Usually FtMs don't look bad compared to MtFs, but this thing is fucking horrifying.

>> No.9169721

>>9169692
Incredibly bad genetics

>> No.9169944

>>9160988
Tell my manager, keep on doing my job.

>> No.9170143

>>9161155
I'll eat the way people used to before illegal immigration. Locally. I'm okay with that. I'll pay more for an avocado as long as stuff around here is affordable.

>> No.9170152

>>9160988
cause him to have a nervous breakdown by looking him in a slightly disgruntled way, and collect my avocado.

>> No.9170163

>>9160988
Beat that fucking faggot to death because he is life unworthy of life.

>> No.9170391

>>9160988
Make conversation, tell a joke or two, then ask if he wants to come over and let me make him something with that avocado. We chill out, have some guac and craft beers. Once we get a good buzz I take him into the room to "show him my art collection," then make tender love to him. Afterwards I'll send him home with a bag of avocados and say "if you ever need more you know where to find me ;)"

>> No.9170415

>>9160988
tell security

>> No.9170788

>>9168328
>I just spent 47 minutes picking up every avocado and feeling the density and weight

People say you can just measure the volume directly by submerging it in a measuring jug but I'm like you: I prefer the tried and true way.

>> No.9171254

>>9163470
>wants to be a man
>wears makeup and girl clothes
I no longer understand this world

>> No.9171267

>>9160988
dont eat avocados varg told me to eat only food native to europe as a white person i should do as he says

>> No.9171275

>>9164504
Jesus Christ.

>> No.9171331
File: 68 KB, 750x561, dog.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9171331

>>9160988
>walk in store
>see this
>laugh
>how pathetic
Americans have to be told when there meme fruit is ripe.
You cannot make this shit up!

>> No.9171344

>>9163470
>you're a bunch of retards
>knowing this
>defending this
America is going straight to hell.

>> No.9171370

>>9169721
I think they're a FtM tranny so it's probably their hormones being in a mess.

>> No.9171418

>>9164519
>american education

>> No.9171432

>>9171344
>knowing this
Xe gets posted 5+ times a day on /fit/.

>> No.9171437
File: 13 KB, 468x398, whyshit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9171437

>>9164519

wow
just wow

>> No.9171450

>>9169717
>Usually FtMs don't look bad compared to MtF
There are quite a few bad looking ones, if they're already ugly before transitioning the hormone treatments make them look even worse. Look up Jesuotaku and cringe like the rest of /tv/.

>> No.9171463
File: 57 KB, 500x747, fit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9171463

>>9171432
>implying i would know this
>implying i would browse /fit/
>implying
>/fit/
Fuck off kiddo you're worse than /b/, /v/, /pol/, /r9k/ and /mlp/ combinded with a lower average IQ of /x/

>> No.9171474
File: 1.49 MB, 1280x720, popeye.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9171474

>>9160988
let " him " keep it hes a little cutie

>> No.9171947

>>9164315
>not even squatting all the way down

>> No.9172306

>>9160994
Jesus fuck, just because you got a gnarly tan backpacking in peru this summer with your "totally conscientious" bros doesn't mean you're not white anymore.

>> No.9172312

>>9160988
Let him have it, hold my breath and walk away as quickly as possible towards a decontamination shower. He looks like a walking STD petri dish.

>> No.9172328

>>9167113
>but i work a physical job
Answered your own question.

>> No.9172361

>>9164315
What the fuck is up with this faggot queer's body. I don't even lift and just the general aura of this guy is pissing me off. I hate this timeline where so many of these people actually exist.

>> No.9172363

>>9160988
Feed him another.

Here boy.

>> No.9172448

Purse my lips and blow as hard as I can in his direction; ultimately knocking him over and securing my avocado.

>> No.9172546

>>9164315
I was feeling bad for this guy, after finding out he has Cushing syndrome and doesn't just look like that because of being vegan.

Then I saw him wearing that hat at the gym, and now I'm glad he has Cushing syndrome.

>> No.9173351

Headfat is the hardest to lose. Poor creature. I hope it doesn't suffer for much longer.

>> No.9173879

I bsaically look like this guy

>> No.9173898

>>9164315
He looks like he might crumple like an accordion at any moment

>> No.9174939

>>9161155
Pay slightly more for food as a small cost for saving the country from the dirty hordes.

>> No.9174955

>>9160988
take my avocado back or avoid the waste of time and pick another avocado for fucks sake

>> No.9174971

>>9161155
lucky me i'm not american. ejoy your rancid avocados, faggots

>> No.9174993

>>9173351
it will be dead soon

>> No.9175229

>>9172363
that's gross senpai

>> No.9175310

>>9161323
It's called having a goblin body.

Men get fat in one of two ways, there's the goblin body with skinny arms and legs with a gut and chin, or you have a big gay bear body with fat legs and shoulders to go with your gut.

>> No.9175333

>>9164519
god tier bait

>> No.9175334

>>9175310
that's a woman tho

>> No.9175443
File: 54 KB, 1001x485, wtz-map-utc-2016-11-16.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9175443

>>9164519
WUT
U
T

>> No.9175617

>>9161465
underrated

>> No.9175656

>>9160988
He can keep it. He looks like he could use the food.

>> No.9175699

>>9161465
very underrated post

>> No.9177373

>>9169293
;-;

>> No.9177408

>>9160988
He's too skinny, let him keep it.

Then I'll ask him how he keeps in such a good shape. He'll probably tell me that he walks or rides his bike everywhere. In response, I'll ask him, "Don't you avacado?"

>> No.9177693

>>9163577
Is this an actual gag? If not, sounds good for season 9.

>> No.9177732
File: 32 KB, 400x400, james_ellsworth.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9177732

>>9160988
I would reunite him with his long-lost brother.

>> No.9177745
File: 38 KB, 431x385, tumblr_nf1mn3rXu81sqxg47o2_500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9177745

>>9161465

ded

>> No.9177761

>>9172361
>I hate this timeline
There's other timelines?

>> No.9178154
File: 41 KB, 230x711, 1494885248536.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9178154

>>9164315

>> No.9178232

>>9160988
Each time I scroll and see this thread I don't know why but I feel forced to click on the pic, this huuman is really horrible and have a nightmare appearance... holding the avocado with his two little hands like a squirell infected with AIDS.

>> No.9178255
File: 67 KB, 540x540, 1494882689216.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9178255

>>9160988
Let him have it. That fucker needs to eat.

>> No.9178266
File: 34 KB, 640x480, serveimagefffff.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9178266

>>9161465
9.5/10

>> No.9178272
File: 357 KB, 645x3012, 1244283151635.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9178272

>>9169293
damn that takes me back

>> No.9178382

>>9161323

That's called being "skinny fat". Losing weight doesn't mean one will look good, losing body fat while maintaining a healthy weight is where it's at. He could still possibly be 18+ percent bf at the weight he is (which would cause his cheeks to look puffy like that.)