Cookout Hate Thread

[Anonymous No.9126774]

It is that time of the year again, Anons.
A "barbecue" hosted by your family to celebrate the 4th of July!

First, let's meet the star chefs:
>Your self-proclaimed meat expert uncle
>Your aunt who brings potato salad and "crispy" mac & velveeta
>Your mom who made a fruit platter
>Your hyperactive cousins that have permission to drink approx. four cans of soda
>Your dad who is cookin' up some barbecue classics, like Nathan's hot dogs on the gas grill
>AND MORE!

Let's start with the uncle. This pathetic normie is downing a second Bud Light when you get around talking to him and he is making some of his smash burgers on the grill. 95/5 lean ground beef (less fat = more health !!111!11111!) smothered on a disgusting, rusting gas grill with a distinct lack of salt. Place that on an untoasted potato roll with mayonnaise and ketchup and boom, classic barbecue served and dished up by your uncle. Then, some hot dogs. Cooked the exact same way. Anons, you have no idea how much this infuriates me.

The sheer AUDACITY these pathetic normies have to call this shit excuse of a cookout as a barbecue is mind-boggling. Discuss and share your thoughts on cookouts, barbecue, whatever you want.

[Anonymous No.9126781]

>>9126774
>tfw there is a certain comfort to the normie cookout desu senpai

just got done hanging out at the lake tossing back some ice cold pabst and being white trash as fuck with my family out on the boat

Im pretty much the opposite of redneck white trash normally (im a total queer)

[Anonymous No.9126783]

>>9126774
>less fat more health
REEEEEEEE TOO REAL REEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.9126793]

>Nathan's hot dogs

Those are great hot dogs, though.

I like cookouts, but I don't think they're indispensable to the Independence Day experience. This year I'm bringing a picnic lunch to an outdoor concert instead.

[Anonymous No.9126795]

went to a family bbq yesterday. everyone sat and socialized like normal human beings and enjoyed the food too. 8/10 it was ok i guess

[Anonymous No.9126802]

Grilling morons thread? Grilling morons thread.

[Anonymous No.9126819]

>>9126802
>he puts things other than salt and pepper on his beef

[Anonymous No.9126850]

>>9126802
>Boiling chicken before grilling/cooking to ensure it is completely cooked

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GXgXcY8v9w

[Anonymous No.9126854]

inb4 irish stew screencap

[Anonymous No.9126890]

>>9126774
My family knows how to cook.
>Uncle grills duck, Cornish game hen, beef and pork ribs, and will smoke brisket if you pay for it.
>mum has some cakes kept indoors and hits you up with spaghetti, corn hand picked from the field, a cold, crisp salad, and both potato salad and cole slaw
>Dad brings burgers and smoked sausages to the fray as well as his stuffed cheddar jalapeno peppers.
>Aunt knows she can't cook and brings beer and soda

[Anonymous No.9126898]

>>9126890
and you bring the autism

[Anonymous No.9126916]

>>9126898
He better not, that's what I was gonna bring.

[Anonymous No.9126939]

>>9126898
I bring napkins usually. My family just always valued knowing how to cook on both my mother and fathers sides.

[Anonymous No.9126962]

>>9126774

Fuck off with your stupid meme post.

It was retarded the first you time posted, and it's even more cringey now.

[Anonymous No.9126969]

I boil ribs in unsalted water, then just put them on the grill with some sauce to get a little crispy char on the outside

and in doing so I realized what a complete waste of time and effort smoking ribs is, because the product is just the same doing it this way and it's done in 15 minutes

[Anonymous No.9126987]

>>9126969
youre a fucking moron

[Anonymous No.9126991]

>>9126987
I'm not. The flavor is exactly they same and they are nice and soft. 5 minutes on a coal grill gives you all the smoke flavor you need

[Anonymous No.9127006]

>>9126991
no, just no

[Anonymous No.9127017]

I mostly lurk and don't cook a whole lot at all, but by normie standards I think I make decent beer brats. I made some on memorial day but only my dad tried them, and loved them. The rest of my family just ate hotdogs and burgers; they're all pretty basic with food (won't eat seafood, anything spicy etc) and they all hate beer. I wanted to make buffalo chicken dip tomorrow but I don't want to feel like shit about the little cooking I do again. It's kind of ironic that my dad has the most boring taste in food, because he's more willing to try new stuff than everyone else and doesn't immediately act disgusted just because he's never had something before.

[Anonymous No.9127052]

>>9126969
>>9126991
You've either been smoking ribs wrong or you're an idiot.

[Anonymous No.9127105]

>>9126774
You're so good at grilling offer to host the entire thing for your family next year. Show them how it's done assuming you aren't underage and don't own a house with a grill

[Anonymous No.9127389]

>>9126774
>Your self-proclaimed meat expert
>Doesn't even know what the most basic seasonings are, let alone uses them
>Patty falls apart during cooking, as nothing was added the mince as a binder
>Believes you only need to flip a patty twice.
>Falls the "medium rare" meme
>Outside is burnt while inside is raw

[Anonymous No.9127397]

>Dad is the self proclaimed grill expert
>only uses Paddy's seasoning and Yoshida's
>wears pic related

It comes out alright

[Anonymous No.9127425]

>>9126939
leave /ck/ you fucking retard

[Anonymous No.9127437]

>>9127389
OP isn't even cooking burgers though, Anon...

[Anonymous No.9127440]

>>9127389
>doesn't know how to make a patty that won't fall apart without "binders"
>flips his patty more than once
>EW IT'S NOT GREY IN THE MIDDLE YET!

[Anonymous No.9127442]

>>9126774
>you have no idea how much this infuriates me
So decline the invitation.
Who the fuck goes to a party only to complain that the food isn't up to their standards?

[Anonymous No.9127476]

>>9127389
Everything about this post is horrific.

[Anonymous No.9127521]

I'm going to a vegan bbq tomorrow, what should I bring?

[Anonymous No.9127528]

>>9127521
a gun

[Anonymous No.9127547]

>>9126939
>I bring napkins usually. My family just always valued knowing how to cook on both my mother and fathers sides.

And then you came along to disappoint all of them.

[Anonymous No.9127549]

>>9126969
GR8 B8 M8 I R8 8/8

[Anonymous No.9127558]

>>9127397
Your image is out of date, those shoes are now favored by young, attractive women in their high-waisted acid wash jeans and costanza glasses

Today's uncool dads wear warby parker glasses and chuck taylors

[Anonymous No.9127635]

>>9126819
why did i enlarge that image.fuck me.why was she not euthanised already.fuck this gay earth

[Anonymous No.9127638]

>>9127635
>why was she not euthanised already
Probably some fundies got to the parents and emotionally abused them into keeping that thing

[Anonymous No.9127666]

>>9127017
You sound like a nice person with a nice family but a lot of mental problems what's your issue bruv?

[Anonymous No.9127670]

>>9127521
tofu

[Anonymous No.9127675]

>>9126774
I got a girl pregnant in high school so I have to hang out with the parents of my son's friends who are 5-10 years older. We are having a big bbq at the park and I'm in charge of the main shit. A lot of people are going to cook stuff at home and bring it too. Sort of like a bbq potluck. I'm making ribs, chicken and burgers. Plus hot dogs because there are kinds who literally don't eat bbq chicken or burgers. What the fuck is their problem?

If you wanted actual advice - don't go to a bbq unless you know and approve of the one doing the cooking. My aunt was throwing a party last month and her cooking is retched. I bullshitted my way out of it and she managed to give people food poisoning.

[Anonymous No.9127683]

maybe get friends whose company you enjoy so you don't have to cook with mommy lmao

[Anonymous No.9127689]

I like cookouts because they're an opportunity to pile random stuff on a burger that's probably ok if the guy doing your grilling is even halfway competent.

Pic related. Cookout at a friend's house. I had three burgers and put different stuff on each. My favorite was when I put on a couple of the red pepper cream cheese pinwheels that they'd set out before as appetizers. Turns out red pepper cream cheese goes wonderfully in a burger. Who knew?

[Anonymous No.9127706]

My family is too impatient to bbq. Whenever we have one its always the same shit: my mom is running around cause she wants to do everything at once (set plates, prep salad, grab this, grab that, wants knifes and so on), I tell her to wait just a minute cause I am busy in the kitchen and she's running around being angry at everyone. She then proceeds to cry cause she thinks that when someone tells her to please not not get in the way of those cooking that this means her authority in the house is being taken away and sometimes ends up screaming that she will not be send away in her own house even if you asked nicely it is merely the stress of having a "fun" bbq which is never perfect to her. Then my parents dump all the food on a bbq and finish cooking it in 20min. All the meat is then done, served, we eat for about 15 min and then everyone is finished and they want to clean shit up. I went to a birthday bbq and I was shocked that it is a lot different in reality and even joyful.

[Anonymous No.9127713]

>>9127397
I wish that my Dad did those things.

He just looks at me in disappointment and pity most of the time.

[Anonymous No.9127728]

>>9126781
Nice, me too, but I love big beers and big eats. You cute tho?

[Anonymous No.9127761]

>>9126774
Respect your elders, kiddo.

If you don't understand why your mom made a fruit platter, you really haven't learned anything.

[Anonymous No.9127762]

>>9127389
>binders in a hamburger
>thinks its a meatloaf


Now we got the kid posts out of the way...

[Anonymous No.9127764]

>>9127397
Don't you dare insult New Balances

They're the official drift shoes of Initial D.

[Anonymous No.9127806]

>>9127706
>people who get overly stressed about simple shit
Fuck is that one of my triggers.

[Anonymous No.9127807]

My dad is a pretty competent BBQ expert when he takes the time, and I learned a lot from him. When he's having a get together and inviting people over, he really goes all out. Wakes up at 6am to get the smoker going. Starts making the sides. Everything is from scratch and we'll seasoned. The only time he really fucked up was when he bought a beef brisket that was too small and when he finally got to take a break to fix his own plate, it was all gone.

My dad's a much better cook than my mom, but he still has a few weird Midwestern habits. The worst he does is when he pours some cream of mushroom campbells soup into a casserole dish with some chicken breasts.

My dad and I did once make a homemade cream of mushroom soup because we found an absolute mother load of morels in the yard. It ended up being wayyyytoo rich to eat a whole bowl of. It should have been something you got like a spoonful of in a tasting menu at a michelin started restaurant.

My dad's a great cook when he puts in the time and effort into it, and he frequently finds the inspiration to try a new recipe where he takes a whole day to prepare everything. Plus by the time dinner is ready he's already 20 beers deep and you can't even tell.

[Anonymous No.9127814]

>>9127806
Not everyone is a useless stoner freeloader like you

[Anonymous No.9127819]

>>9127814
>not being a woman about everything and not acting streesed about everything makes you a stoner
found the roastie

[Anonymous No.9127915]

>>9127706
>>9127819

I relate 100% to the guy.

My mother had nervous breakdowns at every dinner party for the most insane shit. Someone used the main course fork for the appetizer? Kitchen cry session - 'what are we gonna dooo?'. Dad made a wine stain on the table cloth? Garage yelling session.

Dinner parties weren't even the worst. When she goes on holiday she literally doesn't sleep 3 days in advance. Leaves the house 6 hours in advance even if the airport is only 30 mins away. Yelled at us if we wanted to pee before getting in the car because 'we're gonna be stuck in traffic, miss the flight and the fantastically fun holiday is gonna be ruuuuiiinnned'.

Really great woman overall, just can't have fun at preplanned occasions, too much stress.

[Anonymous No.9127931]

Are you the same guy that makes this thread every holiday? fuck off man

[Peter the non-alcoholic No.9127949]

>>9126774
>not even remotely American but nevertheless lower middle-class European family
Dad usually makes the burger meat and rolls the day earlier, same goes with chicken and lamb meat marinading at least 12h before our weekly sunday grill, mom makes some cold salad as a side-dish, all from the ingredients from our posh vegetable garden + aceto balsamico and a hit of olive oil,
I usually bring the autism and firewood and we hit it off with some local wine or shitty Coca Cola because my dad craves sugary drinks so we 'oblige the chef'
All in all 8/10, could be a bit better

[Anonymous No.9127951]

>>9127666
pls don't cyber bully me

[Anonymous No.9127960]

>>9126781
Hey I got a case of pabst for the 4th too

[Anonymous No.9127961]

>>9126774
What's a smash burger? He jams it on the gril?

[Anonymous No.9127965]

>>9127961
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/03/ultra-smashed-cheeseburger-recipe-food-lab.html
pretty good desu if made properly

[Anonymous No.9127989]

>>9127807
No he's not you cunt

[Anonymous No.9128001]

>>9127965
Doesn't work on grills though.

[Anonymous No.9128011]

>mom who undercooks everything and can't stand spicy food
>dad who is completely food illiterate and eats only kid food, ie, nothing can ever have vegetables
>alcoholic sister
>brother who tries to explain that his vape pen doesn't contain any drugs, its just a cotton candy flavor
>grandparents from the old country who only eat steaks well done
>retarded dogs who do retarded dog shit all day and ensure everyone's hands, the table, and all the food is contaminated with snot and fur

[Anonymous No.9128015]

>>9127528
Best post

[Anonymous No.9128028]

>everyone's either dead, disowned, divorced, or distant
Welp you're better off than I am. I'm spending the holiday shitposting and watching movies

[Anonymous No.9128033]

>>9128028
Sounds comfy

[Anonymous No.9128038]

we're having korean bbq because we're true americans. mom makes the best marinade though. I made a cheesecake and my sister will bring beer

[Anonymous No.9128048]

>>9127052
it taste the same because he is eating it with sauces anyway

[Anonymous No.9128057]

>>9128033
It is actually thanks. I've got tasty eats and leisure planned. I think it would bother me if it were like Christmas or thanksgiving, which I'm covered on for that.

[Anonymous No.9128061]

>being invited to a cookout
hahaha thank goodness I never get invited to anything haha I can make whatever I want with my own company and never expect disappointment ha


help I'm so lonely

[Anonymous No.9128066]

>>9128038
Kalbi or bulgogi? Are you doing some of the korean sides too? Beats the hell out of the typical american burgers and hotdogs with mayonaise and sugar laden sides.

[Anonymous No.9128080]

>>9128028
Same. But for some unknown reason my boss wants to have an on site team meeting on the 4th of July, so I have to do that for an hour, then come home and drink myself into oblivion to ease this fucking throbbing gout pain in my foot

[Anonymous No.9128086]

>>9128080
Your boss is a dickweed. What a cock.

[Anonymous No.9128100]

>>9127706
Middle-class America, the post.

[Anonymous No.9128103]

I'm glad my dad actually knows how to cook barbecue

The only downside is he has no idea how to grill chicken or hamburgers. His hamburgers sometimes come out great actually, but usually they just come out burnt, and his chicken is always dry .

But his barbecue like ribs or pulled pork is always great.
But at least I'm not pulled into a family barbecue where there's "meat experts" around who have absolutely no idea how to cook.

[Anonymous No.9128109]

>>9128080
>to ease this fucking throbbing gout pain in my foot
Diddums. Did someone make you walk more than 5 feet at a time? Did your soft feet blister and get calloused?

[Anonymous No.9128131]

>>9128066
galbi all the way. got some lump charcoal to do it right today. we keep it simple with lettuce and perilla leaf for wrapping, and scallion/spring mix sesame salad and ssamjang. and doenjjanjigae naturally

s'gonna be gud

[Anonymous No.9128134]

>>9128011
Sounds like you're the not fun sibling.

[Anonymous No.9128137]

>>9128109
Do you even know what gout is?

[Anonymous No.9128156]

>>9128011
Don't insult the dogs

[Anonymous No.9128162]

>>9128109
I think you're confused, kiddo

[Anonymous No.9128165]

>>9127915
The women in my family are all like this. Mother and grandmother get so stressed over basic shit every single holiday, birthday, etc.


Have to stand there for 30 minutes while they fuck with the right tablecloth and matching napkins that no one gives a fuck about every single year

[Anonymous No.9128168]

>>9128137
Not him, but I was under the impression that alcohol will aggravate the gout by increasing the uric acid in the body. Am I wrong about that?

[Anonymous No.9128176]

>>9128131
Sounds great! I love the flavor of the perilla leaves with kalbi.

[Anonymous No.9128181]

>>9126774
Think you've got it bad? It's the middle of winter here in Australia and I am fucking glad. No BBQs

>Meat expert uncle
>Shitty potato aunt with a shitty coleslaw with fucking apples in it
>Fruit platter of only apples, bananas and oranges
>All cousins are shit
>Me old man is cooking the only bbq classics; plain 'australian style' sausages which taste worse than hotdogs

Uncle = alcoholic sausage burner/95 burgers? We don't do that at all. Poorly cooked expensive and wasted lamb burned to death (for adults) and 'bbq' steak which is low quality thinly cut rump cooked until dry. Expensive bbq grills of course, because everyone needs a 8 burner for their sausages. Sausage goes on sunnycrust supermarket bread, smother with either hienz tomato or bbq sauce and some burnt onions. Think potato rolls are dull??!

I am so so so triggered. My shitty fucking country actually considers bbq a cultural thing here. FFS they say 'shrimp on a barbie' and NO AUSSIE EVER CALLS PRAWN SHRIMP. Do they mean shrivelled and burnt 20cent sausages?

TL;DR stop bithing you yank cunt, there is no worse experience than a typical aussie bbq.

[Anonymous No.9128187]

>>9127547
I can cook but I don't really make outdoor/cookout foods

[Anonymous No.9128274]

>>9126850
You could sous vide the chicken and then give a sear on the grill. But boiling it straight is probably shit.

[Anonymous No.9128314]

>>9127558
>Today's uncool dads wear warby parker glasses and chuck taylors

FUCK YOU

[Anonymous No.9128318]

>>9127521
real meat wrapped inside vegan fake meat package

[Anonymous No.9128338]

>>9128274
>sous vide and boiling aren't the same
>sous vide and 250 F in the oven aren't the same thing
I hope people don't really fall for this crap.

[Anonymous No.9128340]

>>9128314
hes right though

[Anonymous No.9128362]

>>9126774
I hate the 4th of July, it's my least favorite holiday, it's just too overly patriotic for me. Patriotism has always made me a bit nauseated. I agree with Oscar Wilde that patriotism is a virtue of the vicious.

[Anonymous No.9128370]

>>9128362
I also don't like it but it's because it makes me really anxious about driving, just like similar holidays, because I know a bunch of drunk people are driving around.

I stay at home the entire day.

[Anonymous No.9128373]

Just me, my wife and a few old friends this afternoon. Going to grill up some ribeyes and chicken leg quarters, hang out and drink a few beers, and catch up. Been looking forward to it quite a bit.

[Anonymous No.9128378]

>>9128362
I'm not patriotic by any means. I just like excuses to break out the Weber.

[Anonymous No.9128388]

My sister disowned me for talking shit about how "humble" her lake house was, and how it was inconvenient for her to invite the whole family to her "shithole in the middle of nowhere". I also told her that her cooking skills were disappointing because she just makes boxed and canned foods. When I used to go I would always bring a ton of precooked Cajun delights like red beans or gumbo. One time I brought preformed burger patties and home made buns, which her husband ruined on his green egg knockoff. I no longer get invited to family meet UPS because of my bad attitude. But after I got uninvited, she uninvited my parents too because they agreed with me and told her I was just being honest. I figure a year or two from now they'll have no one left that is willing to be polite about how inconvenient the location and food Is. 3 hours from Atlanta, 45 minutes to closest grocery store. (lake front property for 20k per acre sort of thing). No one wants to bother with that shit. Her and her husband only ever care about the cost of things, so long as its a deal they'll go for it. No matter how poor quality or inconvenient it is.

The crazy thing is that 75% of the immediate family lives within 30 minutes of each other and we all have better houses than the lake house. All homes are 5 minutes from a grocery store and 10 to 15 minutes from shopping and entertainment options. So we could just grill in someone's back yard, and all sleep in our own beds, or we can drive 3 hours to the middle of nowhere, have to sleep in a shit shack, and then drive 3 hours home. My sister refuses to have people over to her convenient house. To justify the shit hole in the middle of nowhere, all parties are thrown over there and if we want to see her or the rest of the family we all have to endure the inconvenience of "the lake house".

I've started hosting all major holidays at my house, but she never shows because "she doesn't want her children exposed to my bad attitude"

[Anonymous No.9128390]

Either your family sucks or you're an autistic killjoy faggot. Considering where we are, I'm pretty certain it has to be the latter.

[Anonymous No.9128436]

>>9128388
Continued. (sorry for blog posting)

I decided to take the 4th off and go to the beach this year. Everyone followed us down to Florida hotels at the same beach, except for my sister. "why go to a hotel on the ocean when we can go to the lake house anon?" Its code for "we are having to deal with a mortgage on a shit shack in the middle of nowhere and have to justify it by spending time there, also the mortgage eats all our cash we could be spending on actual vacations". So... They also play nothing but country music even tho they know the whole family would be happier with classic rock or top 40s.

Op, I get it. Obliging family on the holidays, especially because of food and location is THE WORST. If you dont like it, speak up - but be more diplomatic than I was. And if you don't like the food, make a dish or help out and make it better.

[Anonymous No.9128451]

>>9128390
I hear you. Its a bit of both tho I like to think I made her lake house bearable by bringing good food and making the gay cousin feel more welcome by talking to him and not ostracizing him like the rest of the (very religious) family.

Honestly, there is a whole religion and trump presidency story as well that plays into the divisions of the family, which my sister made worse by forcing people to live together in the middle of nowhere as well as just talking total fanboi shit as the matriarch property owner that invited everyone as guests, but I don't want to turn this thread into a " hick ass redneck bitch offends and divides family with celebratory christmas cross burning at her lake house" thread. I'm sort of worried the bitch has a tumor pressing on her brain stem.

[Anonymous No.9128519]

>>9126774
> 95/5 lean ground beef
Triggered. My parents only ever bought this when I was growing up, so I always thought homemade burgers are shit no matter what. I always preferred fast food burgers until I moved out and tried making my own with less-lean ground beef.

[Anonymous No.9128544]

>>9126819

My god, someone put that thing down already

[Anonymous No.9128553]

Sucks to be you guys. Gonna go to my mom's house in like an hour to make burgers, fries, and slaw. I get to cook everything, so it's gonna be good. Not sure what to make for my cat's dinner, I'm thinking of just opening up a can of tuna and dumping it into a bowl. Maybe since it's a holiday, I'll add a bit of mayo to the tuna, he loves mayo, but hasn't ever been allowed to eat it unless I drop some on the floor.

[Anonymous No.9128560]

>>9126774
kys faggot

[Anonymous No.9128563]

My dad got some chuck's a few months ago and I thought it was pretty cool of him to do so... He's 65 and I assure you the reason he got them was not to impress people. He wore them as a teen and likes them

So yeah, fuck you man

[Anonymous No.9128586]

>>9127915
>garage yelling session
das it mane

[Anonymous No.9128594]

>>9126890
It's spelt coalslaw retard.

[Anonymous No.9128606]

>>9127915

You forgot the last minute dramatic "CANCELLATION" of whatever event/trip/xmas that was planned..

[Anonymous No.9128619]

>>9127915
>White people problems

Oh no Timmy, did you have to fly coach too? What a fucking travesty.

[Anonymous No.9128620]

People that do this autistic shit... adding raw onions, cheeses, spices etc. and then mixing it all together for about 5 mins with their hot hands

And then claiming they make the "best burger you ever had"

[Anonymous No.9128645]

Eh I don't dislike my parents by any means, but lately it's been chaos every time I go over there.
>Mom is a major hypochondriac after beating cancer, now she WebMD's every new symptom that comes up and downs 6 doses of opiates every 4 hours and bitching about how she has dementia and is going to die tomorrow etc.
>30 year old autistic brother who screams at his computer while playing his 30th match of Overwatch today, if asked to come downstairs to eat with the family he throws large items busting the occasional hole in the wall
>Dad is sick of their shit and confides in me, but then mom finds out because she opens the fucking windows when he and I are talking outside, then spazzes out on him and uses the excuse "I told her." I have even advised for them to get divorced because I am sick of all this shit too.
>I bring some light beer and my mom likes to hide my keys after I drink two because she thinks I will get pulled over.

Things used to not be this retarded.

[Anonymous No.9128650]

>>9128620
>We're adding diced onions into the patties directly, and added an egg to keep it binded!
>onion chunks are the size of my fingernails
>burger still falls right apart because they didnt use high enough heat
I never trust anybody who tells me "I make a killer burger!" if they don't know how to cook other shit.

[Anonymous No.9128657]

>mom's family all hate each other
>dad's family lives on the other side of the country
>it's just me and my parents every year

comfy, yet boring. i'm glad i don't have to make small talk and i can just get ripped in the comfort of home

[Sage No.9128668]

>>9126819
Fuck off, adding worchestershire and a good seasoning blend with an egg prior to patty forming is great, and the same can be said of steaks with worchestershire, a milder seasoning salt and a nice basting of butter and roasted garlic with herbs.
I grew up cajun so Tonys was used interchangably for salt growing up. The 'le only salt and pepper are acceptable seasonings' meme is retarded. Theres a reason why niggers and others make fun of whites for having bland food.

[Anonymous No.9128717]

>>9128650

Oh right, I forgot all about the egg and bread crumbs

[Anonymous No.9128760]

I never had the typical family 4th of july described in this thread. Single mother, only child. Rest of family is not close and never will be. We were super christian until '04, so when I was a kid we would get invited to gatherings at so-and-so's house. Which was mostly the same as some of the food tropes ITT, but no family drama.

Later today I'm going to my roommate's friend bbq/fireworks thing. Bringing fireworks, beer, and some homemade fudge.

[Anonymous No.9128831]

>>9128668
If you have to add eggs to your hamburger patties, you're doing something horribly wrong.

[Anonymous No.9128844]

>>9128717
So they made meatloaf?

[Anonymous No.9128847]

>>9128668
>worchestershire
Thanks for the advice, chef.

[Anomolous No.9128857]

>>9126819
Garlic & onion powder
Chili powder
Paprika
Salt
Cumin
Lemon pepper
Fight me

[Anonymous No.9128867]

>>9128857
Sounds like some gross ass Greek shit.

[Anonymous No.9128879]

>>9128857
salt, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder are as far as I go. I remember the first time I made burgers, I tried to combine the spices with the meat in the mixing bowl. I quickly realized this was retarded and from the second time on simply formed the patties before sprinkling the spices on top.

[Anomolous No.9128898]

>>9128619
t. Chink from california

[Anomolous No.9128926]

>>9128645
Sorry anon

[Anonymous No.9128931]

>>9126774
Why are you not offering to take care of the food, anon?

[Anonymous No.9128933]

>>9127807
>we found an absolute mother load of morels in the yard

You lucky motherfucker

[Anonymous No.9128937]

There will come a day when you'll miss your dad's charred propane burgers, OP.

[Anonymous No.9128974]

>>9128080
Don't do that man drinking is bad for gout, makes it harder for your body to process urea also it increases uric acid levels

Use NSAIDs and ice

If you must drink keep it moderate

[Anonymous No.9128990]

>>9128388
did you once make a post about Irish stew?

[Anonymous No.9129035]

>>9127638
No, these people in Asia, India, and parts of the world which are "third worldish" keep their kids like this

Fuck ridiclous in my opinion, but than again people are stupid

Can you picuture this though, you are born once in your life and that is who you are and the hand you have been dealt in life.

Life is a game of chance, none of us are really supposed to be here

[Anonymous No.9129042]

>>9126774
Or you could be a polite person and not sperg out on stupid shit

[Anonymous No.9129048]

>>9129035
In the face of the universe we're a moment and a speck of dust, nothing more nothing less

[Anonymous No.9129074]

>>9126774
army bf is out of country for work and I saw mom and then dad Sunday so I'm just home studying today. We made falafel sliders for his wisconsin family last year. His sister's bf brought some artillery shells which were fun. I later learned *all* fireworks are illegal in that city, as they are in many cities in Wisconsin. There's just no state level prohibition. It doesn't matter because most police forces don't bother enforcing it on the 4th.

[Anonymous No.9129097]

>>9129048

[Anonymous No.9129253]

>>9127675
>retched

[Anonymous No.9129256]

>>9129097
Thanks I was wondering where that went

[Anonymous No.9129264]

>>9127558
>>9128314
>>9128340
Totally different, New Balance are autism shoes because they are functionally good shoes. Chucks are worn out by late-to-the-bandwagon "cool dads" from the flower child generation, not boomers

[Anonymous No.9129278]

>>9129264
>the flower child generation, not boomers
Anon...

[Anonymous No.9129288]

>>9128553
Based cat owner

[Anonymous No.9129290]

anyone know if you need to wet marinate a rib eye? Or just salt 40mins before cooking?

[Anonymous No.9129305]

>>9129264
>New Balance are autism shoes because they are functionally good shoes.

Wait so I need to wear something uncomfortable and gaudy to be a normie?

[Anonymous No.9129364]

>tfw after many years of great southern cooking, my grandparents culinary skills have noticeably declined.

Also they were cross contaminating foods.

[Anonymous No.9129428]

>>9129305
There are pretty and comfy shoes out there but they'll typically run you around $100 new

[Anonymous No.9129486]

>>9126774
>it's a family event
>they're always held at our house
>parents force me to leave my room and pretend like I enjoy social interaction
>listen to grandmother go on a rant about something that makes zero sense
>listen to my autistic little brother make autistic remarks and grunting noises every 30 seconds
>watch my terminally ill uncle get wheeled in despite the fact he'd probably rather be in bed
>cheerful but obvious alcoholic aunt starts drinking while my vegan other uncle (he's a pretty cool guy about it and usually eats turkey and shit if it's thanksgiving) sits on the couch
>talk PC hardware and electronics with pcmasterrace grandfather
>attempt to get back to room as soon as possible

I can't wait to move out and say I'm working every time there's a holiday

[Anonymous No.9129579]

>>9129486
You must be 18 years old to browse this website.

[Anonymous No.9129605]

>>9129579
You can be over 18 and still hate interacting with other people

[Anonymous No.9129608]

>>9126774
>masking smash burgers
>on a grill
Anon... are you for reals retarded?

[Anonymous No.9129613]

>>9129605
Can confirm, am 31, hate people

[Anonymous No.9129615]

>>9126850
Fucking ruining chicken, fags shouldnt be allowed near a kitchen again

[Anonymous No.9129616]

>>9126774
why don't the other men in your family allow you to cook anon?

[Anonymous No.9129628]

>>9129264
Fuck you, NB's are the best driving shoes in existence

[Anonymous No.9129631]

>>9129628
>3 arms

[Anonymous No.9129639]

>>9129631
You know you can put your hand back on the steering wheel after changing a gear right

[Anonymous No.9129641]

>>9127814
You dont have to be a stoner to avoid being a highstrung stressed out bitch to everybody around you.

[Anonymous No.9129648]

>>9128011
Id rather hang out with the master vape lord over a snotty cunt like you

[Anonymous No.9129655]

>>9126774
then stay home.

[Anonymous No.9129657]

>>9128109
Shut your fucking mouth, nobody asked for you to be a sarcastic faggot about his arthritis.

[Anonymous No.9129704]

>>9128181
Go Paul Hogan yourself.

[Anonymous No.9129763]

>>9128620
i just saw someone do this. i think he added A1, onions, garlic salt.
and it was like a lot of A1...im not looking forward to it. Maybe ill try to dodge it and eat the token premium hot dogs.

[Anonymous No.9129927]

>>9129657
Weak soft-footed american confirmed.
Get off your ass occasionally, maybe your feet won't hurt after a few steps.
If your idea of 'exercise' is parking a few steps further from the door of the mall, your problem is self-inflicted.

>>9128137
>gout
A symptom of weak american genetics, shitty diet, and shitty lifestyle.

[Anonymous No.9130007]

got quite a few pics to post for my murrica day bbq. this is what i smoked for family and friends, 14lb whole brisket.

[Anonymous No.9130014]

>>9130007
started at 4:30 this morning getting the grill going, and then got to trimming the excess fat away that wont cook down. trimmed a little to much on the point end but it should be fine.

[Anonymous No.9130017]

>>9130014
after i was happy with how it looked i started rubbing it down with a simple salt and pepper mix, i have picky family members and salt and pepper are a classic beef season.

[Anonymous No.9130026]

>>9128898
Wrong on both accounts there buddy >:)

[Anonymous No.9130036]

>>9130017
after i was happy with the rub down i checked the grill, it was just getting up to the target temp of 250, we want to bring this meat to 200 over a long slow period while periodically spritzing the meat with apple juice.

[Anonymous No.9130039]

>>9130036
this is after a few hours of being on the grill.

[Anonymous No.9130047]

>>9130039
a bit further into the day. at this point were starting to get close to where i want to be pulling it off and wrapping it.

[Anonymous No.9130050]

>>9130047
this is after it had been resting for about an hour and letting all the juices redistribute.

[Anonymous No.9130055]

>>9130050
and here we our the slice, you want a nice crust on the outside but the inside should be ready to fall apart with juice

[Anonymous No.9130059]

>>9130055
so did i beat the stigma for horrible family member who cant cook on my first attempt at smoking meat. or did i fail and my family was just being nice because they felt bad for me?

[Anonymous No.9130061]

>>9130050
I like the cut of your jib, sir, along with the cut of your brisket.

About how many hours in total?

[Anonymous No.9130065]

>>9130055
>>9130059
I can't decide whether this looks appetizing, or whether it looks like you'd be biting into big globs of fat.

[Anonymous No.9130067]

>>9129927
Gout was common in England during their empire stage as early as Henry VIII. It's a symptom of affluence. The price some folks pay for controlling the world. The suffering we have to undergo to maintain our dominance over the world. We don't get no respect.

[Anonymous No.9130083]

>>9130059
looks dank

[Anonymous No.9130084]

>>9130050
Looks good, a nice bark. I'm sure it tasted good and they weren't just pretending.

[Anonymous No.9130089]

>>9130061
id say it took nearly 9 hours of being on the grill and then i let it rest about an hour to redistribute everything.

>>9130065
the fat on some of the pieces was a little bit thicker then i would have liked in the end but it came out tasting quite good, alot of flavor comes from fat on a brisket and i didnt want to trim to much and screw it up for everyone.

[Anonymous No.9130090]

>>9126774
sounds like you have issues anon your family just wanted to get together and eat and you sperg out

[Anonymous No.9130100]

>>9127052
>>9127006
I did what you said and didn't boil them this time
they weren't as good as normal, Much less flavor and they weren't as soft

[Anonymous No.9130106]

>>9127915
is your mum jewish anon she sounds pretty neurotic

[Anonymous No.9130233]

>>9128156
t. fido

[Anonymous No.9130279]

>All meat (It's still delicious and I ate my fill), no vegetables
>Potato/egg/macaroni salad
>Mosquitoes (Only one bit me, and it went away quick)
>No one really comes, cook too much food
>Drive to relatives' house was too long, paid more to come
>Someone always overseasons either the ribs or the chicken
>Someone always has to slather barbecue sauce on the meat instead of letting the juices sit
All-in-all, 8/10 BBQ, just finished a turkey burger.

[Anonymous No.9130322]

i had boudin for the first time today

bretty gud

[Anonymous No.9130333]

>>9126916
kek

[Anonymous No.9130611]

>>9129253
he hnocked a chick up in high school. What do you expect?

[Anonymous No.9130615]

>>9128011
What's your sister's number?

[Anonymous No.9130619]

>>9126774
So what, sounds like you didn't have to cook, just hang out with the senpai and eat a burger and hotdog and some mac and cheese. stop sperging out abou tit

[Anonymous No.9130623]

>>9126819
"Abortion is wrong"

[Anonymous No.9130634]

>>9128645
That sucks man. Sorry. Glad you can at least chat with your pops a bit though

[Anonymous No.9130647]

>>9126774
ended up going to something like this for my 4th
sure it sucked a bit, but I didn't give a shit, didn't expect too much

hell, it was better than expected since my uncle is a relatively decent cook
but he doesn't do plain "American" stuff, he's from Trinidad

[Anonymous No.9130925]

>>9127713
hehe same

i don't feel bad though because he's a musty alcoholic

[Anonymous No.9130940]

>go to cookout
>like 20 people there that aren't family
>have no idea who they are
>one of their dumbass kids put a hotdog on a hamburger bun

[Anonymous No.9130993]

>>9126774
>normie
Hello normalfag

[Anonymous No.9131072]

>>9127521
take bacon

[Anonymous No.9131150]

>>9127764
N E W B A L A N C E
That is an aesthetic name actually

[Anonymous No.9131185]

>>9130059

Hit me with the deets on that grill and thermometer please, homie

I've got a portable grill at home and it's cool but I need some gear for a fat brisket like that and I'm shoppin'

[Anonymous No.9131337]

>>9128061
You can come to my cook out anon, but I live in Englandistan

[Anonymous No.9131349]

>>9126781
>im a total queer
Well, you are drinking Pabst.

[Anonymous No.9131357]

>>9129035
Shit's scary to think about. Like after death, all there could be is darkness for eternity.

[Anonymous No.9131362]

>>9131357
>not being transhumanist
>not using science and technology to make a perfect universe and bring back people who died

[Anonymous No.9131366]

>all of the family is very old and can't taste anything that isn't burnt to shit
>worried about muh sodium and caloric intake
>me sitting at table pounding back a bottle of cheap vodka
>someone tells me to cook the food and I tell them to fuck off because I just spent 11 hours cooking at a restaurant

[Anonymous No.9131506]

>>9130055
There's no pink.

[Anonymous No.9131516]

>>9131506
Look in your mother's asshole, cunt.

[Anonymous No.9131536]

>>9131362
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdEINFmMn4M

[Anonymous No.9131586]

>>9130055
>>9130059
>200% grey
you were the grilling moron all along

[Anonymous No.9131615]

>>9131366
>>me sitting at table pounding back a bottle of cheap vodka
>>someone tells me to cook the food and I tell them to fuck off because I just spent 11 hours cooking at a restaurant
Cooks confirmed for all being alcoholic crybabies hated by their families. What a shitty profession full of shitty people.

[Anonymous No.9131793]

>>9131536
>you can already create a copy of yourself

>A copy is just an identical image. There is the possibility that a single virus could destroy an entire set of systems and copies do not give rise to variety and originality.

[Anonymous No.9131926]

>>9128378
>>9128362
Fucking card carrying communist if you ask me. And fucking 378 up there is Bragging about how unpatriotic he is. Fuck you. America is the greatest country on Earth and if you don't believe that go literally anywhere else for 6 months, you don't even have to get shot at, and come back. You'll see. 1776 bitches.

[Anonymous No.9131931]

>>9131926
>America is the greatest country on Earth and if you don't believe that go literally anywhere else for 6 months
cannot be stressed enough
little echo chamber edgy teen faggots think they know what the world is like
here's a pretty tame one for you: go visit India

[Anonymous No.9131941]

>>9128274
>>9128338
>>9129615

you smartarses don't know as much about cooking as you think you do.

it's really fucking common to poach things before barbecuing them.

[Anonymous No.9131947]

>>9131941
>it's really fucking common to poach things before barbecuing them.

Maybe for people who can't cook worth a shit. Or for people who confuse the terms BBQ and grilling.

BBQ is low, slow cooking just like poaching is. It would be redundant to do both.

I suppose you could poach something first before you grilled it to finish, but that seems kinda silly when you could get better flavor by starting out cooking the meat via low indirect heat (BBQ) and then finish it off over high heat before you serve it.

[Anonymous No.9131954]

>>9131947

i'm not confusing them, there just isn't a distinction in my country.

>I suppose you could poach something first before you grilled it to finish, but that seems kinda silly when you could get better flavor by starting out cooking the meat via low indirect heat (BBQ) and then finish it off over high heat before you serve it.

you can poach in a court bouillon to infuse flavour and the water medium helps you control the temperature more easily and efficiently. this is centuries old technique dude stop pretending you're above it.

[Anonymous No.9131958]

>>9131947
not him but just stop

[Anonymous No.9131970]

>>9128061
I'll cook you up some shrimp and tuna if you live in soybean state.

[Anonymous No.9131980]

>>9131954
>you can poach in a court bouillon to infuse flavour

Sure, but it seems like an odd choice to combine that with grilling. I can see poaching in court bullion and then finishing in a pan. That would make sense. But combining the flavors of poaching in court bullion and then finishing over a fire seems like an odd combination to choose. You say this is an old tradition? Where exactly?

[Anonymous No.9131982]

>>9131926
Patriotism is the same kind of worn out, destructive concept as the tribalism people have held onto since they first climbed down from the trees and began hitting other groups over the head with rocks. Our overlords promote it because it distracts you from the real issues facing the country and world and potential solutions that won't come from tribalism. The same reason they let you have your popguns.

[Anonymous No.9132006]

>>9131982
Guess we better just open the boarders too huh
>Guns are a tool of oppression from the evil big brother.

You're a fucking retard. There's nothing wrong with patriotism, especially when your an American, in fact, as an American you not be patriotic is why this country was doing so shitty until we got trump in. And, as a free American, you not owning atleast one firearm says a lot about your slave mentality, liberal.

[Anonymous No.9132008]

>>9131980

>Sure, but it seems like an odd choice to combine that with grilling. I can see poaching in court bullion and then finishing in a pan. That would make sense. But combining the flavors of poaching in court bullion and then finishing over a fire seems like an odd combination to choose.

why

>You say this is an old tradition? Where exactly?

really common in china but it's a thing everywhere

[Anonymous No.9132010]

>>9131982

>dat community college angst

[Anonymous No.9132054]

>>9128650
My wife is usually an excellent cook, but she's not from the US and didn't grow up with burgers so she makes them with diced onion, carrot, celery, garlic, eggs and breadcrumbs, so a meatloaf basically. It's pretty bad.

[Anonymous No.9132062]

>>9132008
>why
Maybe it's just me coming from a European background, but the flavors of the seasonings we usually use in court bullion aren't a good match for the flavors you get from grilling with fire or coals. The flavors clash. Though poaching something and then finishing it by sauteeing in a pan/skillet is very common.

>>really common in china
Any particular style? I love Chinese cooking but I've never seen or heard of this being done. Then again my experience is mainly limited to Sichuan.

>>but it's a thing everywhere
I consider myself well educated on French, British, American, Scandinavian, Japanese, Thai, and Sichuan Chinese. I know some Italian but not all that much. I have never once heard of this method. The closest thing I can recall is the Chinese method of poaching something in master stock and then frying it afterward. But frying is rather different from grilling. Oh, and some Americans like to boil pork ribs and then finish them by grilling, but that's generally looked down upon as a shortcut.

[Anonymous No.9132070]

>>9132006
Explain how this country was shitty before Trump without using the word nigger. I'll wait.

[Anonymous No.9132081]

>>9132062

the generic technique of poaching off/boiling and then searing either on a hot surface or over a fire is common all over the world including in every cuisine you mention.

>The closest thing I can recall is the Chinese method of poaching something in master stock and then frying it afterward.

just as common historically to finish it in fire.

>Maybe it's just me coming from a European background, but the flavors of the seasonings we usually use in court bullion aren't a good match for the flavors you get from grilling with fire or coals. The flavors clash.

no they don't. no need to be prescriptive over the definition of a court bouillon, i just mean a flavourful liquid.

[Anonymous No.9132090]

>>9132070
I'm not the guy you're replying to, but I can think of several:
-fractional reserve banking system
-excessive healthcare costs caused by too much government regulation
-social security system being so poorly managed that the account interest cannot keep up with inflation
-Patriot Act
-Excessive regulation of airports
-Excessive military spending
-Excessive bureaucracy

I can go on, but I think that sums things up pretty well. And I have no love for Trump either.

[Anonymous No.9132110]

>>9132070
>predatory student loan system that baits young adults into decades of debt slavery.
>War on drugs that perpetuates violent cartel syndicates and gorges the prison system on nonviolent offenders.
>Anticapitalist bailout structures that mitigates the damage to the people most responsible for jeopardizing the health of the nation's economy and wither the middle class.
>Federal reserve
The USA is far from the worst country to live but it wasn't utopia before Trump either.

[Anonymous No.9132134]

>Head to dads house where he assures me its just a small get together
>Half of his wife's family is there
>Local Nigerian catholic priest is there
>He brought two of his relatives straight from Africa
>Burgers are all value brand from wal mart
>Fall apart instantly
>Grill almost catches on fire twice because he didn't check the grease trap
>Sausages stuffed with cheese

[Anonymous No.9132259]

>>9132134
>Sausages stuffed with cheese
It just keeps getting worse...

[Anonymous No.9132341]

>>9132070
The fact that you think I'm a racist just because I ended up voting for Trump (my primary was Rand Paul) says a lot about how you think the world works. Those other two guys said it better than me, but pretty much, that.

[Anonymous No.9132377]

>>9132341
Encourage the schoolyard name calling from them. Their identity politics will ensure lost elections for over 9000 years to come.

[Anonymous No.9132386]

>>9126774
>Your mom who made a fruit platter

That's a very nice touch actually to balance out the meat orgy

So my story
>Be bartender in a tiny microbrewery taproom.
>Not very busy last night because the fourth is just not a bar holiday
>Some guys grilling on a second floor deck across the way from me brought me a burger
>MFW

[Anonymous No.9132396]

>>9127764
I wore those sorts of new balances forever but can't find them nowadays.

[Anonymous No.9132398]

>>9126774
>go to family cookout
>no gluten free buns
>burgers not cooked well done
>butter on everything
>no salads
>no water just soda, sweet tea, and beer
>"come on anon, just have a beer with us hehe"

FUCKING RUINED

[Anonymous No.9132422]

>>9128181
Wow man, I'm sorry.

[Anonymous No.9132430]

>>9132006
>in fact, as an American you not be patriotic is why this country was doing so shitty until we got trump in

Whoa, are we great yet?

[Anonymous No.9132431]

>>9128436
Love your pic related Anon. Sorry you fucked yourself outta the family, but it sounds like everyone still likes you more anyway so good on ya

[Anonymous No.9132473]

>>9132430
lol

[Anonymous No.9132477]

>>9132398
Wow you must have been the life of the party.

[Anonymous No.9132539]

>>9132430
We're getting there with Trump's MACHI -Make America China. Just wait. In no time we'll have unbreathable air, undrinkable water, poisoned food and poisoned soil along with protectionist trade policies propping up industries that are afraid or too incompetent to compete.

[Anonymous No.9132570]

>>9132539
So I wanted to ask what does /ck/ use to start their grill? A charcoal chimney or lighter fluid? Also how often should i wipe down my grill with soap? I've lived in apartments my whole life but now that I'm in a house I'd like to get a grill and learn how to use it right

[Anonymous No.9132587]

>>9131366
Dude legit every cook iv talked to is an alcoholic or a drug addict or both and they will go on and on about how good they can make shit but they always say no when i tell them ill provide the ingredients. So I end up cooking every time they come over.

I really dont mind cooking at all, but when you talk a big game about how you went to culinary school for 4 years and how good you can cook and when I go to your house you just have take out, or mc dicks i dont know what to think.

[Anonymous No.9132597]

>>9132570
I've used both lighter fluid and chimney starters. Even when I use a chimney I still use lighter fluid.

>> Also how often should i wipe down my grill with soap?
Never.
The only thing you need to use to clean a grill is heat, and something to scoop out or dump out the ashes.

[Anonymous No.9132601]

>>9132587
What do you do for a living?

[Anonymous No.9132602]

>>9132587
>i dont know what to think.

That they're stressed out from cooking long hours for their job so the last thing they want to do during their spare time is cook?

[Anonymous No.9132606]

>>9132570
I always use charcoal and get one of those big butane torchs and hold it on the coals for 2 or 3 mins and it starts the grill up.

And i dont clean that shiz senpai the flames do all that. Just scrub it down with a wire brush occasionally and get all the stuff you got lose out.

[Anonymous No.9132614]

>>9132601
I work for michelin tires in the factory driving a forklift all day.

[Anonymous No.9132617]

>>9132606
What about rust? How do you deal with it? For the last two years I've been using a flap wheel on an angle grinder, but it's kind of a pain in the ass. I already have a cover, but moisture still gets in.

[Anonymous No.9132620]

>>9132597
Noted, even the outside? I've been experimenting with my grill all summer and the outside feels a little greasy
>>9132606
I have a butane lighter that i use to start my kindling under the chimney I didn't even think to use it on the coals themselves.

Thanks for the help anons I have one more question I have a smoke box attachment on the grill that i've yet to play with how should i use this? I've seen people use it as a sweat box but i have no idea how to do that

[Anonymous No.9132621]

>>9132614
Do you wanna fuck with tires after a day of work?

[Anonymous No.9132634]

>>9126819
Was this really a necessary reaction image to over-spicing beef?

[Anonymous No.9132641]

>>9132617
Rust adds flavor and will pt some hair on your chest.

[Anonymous No.9132649]

>>9132621
I wouldn't mind helping a friend change a tire or put a tire on a rim or if they somehow had a forklift and needed me for something because thats what friends do.

I just want one meal while your in an air conditioned building and you can smoke weed or drink or whatever the fuck while your making it.

[Anonymous No.9132652]

>>9132617
>What about rust? How do you deal with it?

You don't really need to. If you actually use your grill regularly then the inside will get coated in a layer of residue from the smoke, fat from the meat, etc. Think of it like seasoning a skillet, only you don't have to do it deliberately, it just happens while you cook. That effectively covers the inside of the grill preventing it from rusting.

As for the grate itself: leave it dirty after you are done cooking. The fat residue will protect it while it sits. Then whenever you go to use the grill next time put the grate over the coals while they're heating up. The heat will burn off any residue, bits of food, etc. That not only cleans the gunk off, but also sterilizes the grate. If there's big bits stuck to it then just hit it with a wire brush real quick and it comes right off. When the grate is hot it's zero effort to clean it.

[Anonymous No.9132657]

>>9132620
>Noted, even the outside? I've been experimenting with my grill all summer and the outside feels a little greasy

Who cares if the outside is greasy? That doesn't affect anything, and if it really is grease (i.e. fat) then that actually protects the grill from rusting.

>>Thanks for the help anons I have one more question I have a smoke box attachment on the grill
Can you be more specific? There's several different things that could refer to. Can you post a pic of what you have? Or a brand/model?

[Anonymous No.9132661]

>>9132649
Well your example was shit, but I tried. Though changing a tire takes about five minutes and is piss easy, even easier to sit on a fork lift. But making a five star meal takes a long time, is hot, and is a lot of fucking work, which the chef has already done all fucking day.

[Anonymous No.9132667]

>>9132649

What if someone asked you to unload a truck for them using a forklift while they stood around and drank beer?

[Anonymous No.9132683]

>>9132652
I must be fucking something up, because from the first warm day until the first snow I grill at least twice a week. I don't clean the grill after cooking because I'm always drunk by then. Put the cover on the next morning, and boom, rusted grates two days later. And that's the only time I clean it, to get the rust off. The grill body isn't even a concern for me. Oh, and I always light the fire then put the grates on while the flame is at it's highest. I've even tried putting oil in the grates before covering the grill, to no avail. They're the thick cast iron grates if that makes a difference.

[Anonymous No.9132699]

>>9132683
PLEASE STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE RUST
YOU'RE MAKING ME CRAZY WITH THE RUST

[Anonymous No.9132702]

>>9132657
Not sure on the exact model and it's a pretty cheap grill, yes i will be cleaning out the ashes right now i just got a little too drunk yesterday

[Anonymous No.9132718]

>>9132699
I'll be honest, I've read the same thing plenty of times online, but it's not me. My friends and family see the rust, and they won't eat a fucking thing I grill if it's not completely gone before cooking. If I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times that it won't hurt them, but they are convinced they'll need a tetanus shot to eat my food. Sorry for fucking with your sanity, it's just that I've worked so hard at being normal without medication, I just want them to like me.

[Anonymous No.9132756]

>>9132587
>come home from work tired and angry because a few people came in, ate your food and said it was trash after spending an entire day coming up with the special for that night
>go home
>"Hey anon, you're a good cook right? cook me and my friends some dinner haha. I know you just got off work but just do it okay? "
For real though, after a long day in the kitchen cooking the last thing I want to do is cook more food.
The reason we are all alcies and druggies is because of the stressful nature of the job, constant criticism, low pay, etc. It's not a very fun profession but if you like to make art out of food it's somewhat rewarding.

[Anonymous No.9132759]

>>9132702
OK, that's called an offset smoker.

You build the fire in the small box on the right hand side. The meat goes in the larger chamber.

[Anonymous No.9132783]

>>9132759
Not him, but you're fucking joking, right?

[Anonymous No.9132784]

>>9131185
char-griller akorn and a weber igrill 2. people looked at me weird when i told them i was gonna smoke brisket on it but as you can see from the pics it turned out alright.
>>9131506
>>9131586
heres a pic with some smoke ring

[Anonymous No.9132803]

>>9132783
Not at all.

I build these things from scratch. Pic related. Early stages of work on a big one made out of an old propane tank.

Anyway, that small section on the right is called the firebox. See how it's located lower down than the main area? And see how the chimney is on the left side? That's what creates the draft which pulls the smoke from the fire over the meat.

That thing is a dedicated smoker which the owner has been using to grill with. I imagine it probably gave crappy results because when you put coals or wood in the main area they don't get proper airflow to them.

[Anonymous No.9132809]

>>9132803
After attaching the firebox.

[Anonymous No.9132812]

>>9132783
why would you think he's joking?

[Anonymous No.9132813]

>>9126774
>tfw stepdad who can't even cook kraft man n cheese decides to overtake the grill for the bbq

[Anonymous No.9132825]

>>9132803
I've spent years trying to smoke meat in the "smoker" part of my grill. I build the fire in the little box, put the meat in there with it, and it fucking burns. Why has fucking no one told me they go in separate chambers? People have watched me do this. I even tried to fit a turkey in there because everyone raved about how good smoked turkey is. It's called a smoker box, why would I put shit on the grill part?

[Anonymous No.9132833]

>>9132825
>Why has fucking no one told me they go in separate chambers?

Because you're stupid. Did you read the directions that came with your smoker?

>> It's called a smoker box, why would I put shit on the grill part?

99% of the world calls that a firebox, not a smoker box. You put the meat in the big section instead of directly over the fire because if you put it directly over the fire it's going to be far too hot. Smoking is a low-and-slow process using indirect heat. that's why the fire is separated from the meat.

Grilling is high-and-fast cooking using direct heat. It has nothing at all to do with smoking. They're totally different cooking methods.

[Anonymous No.9132840]

>>9132833

[Anonymous No.9132846]

>>9132833
I didn't get directions, my neighbor gave me the thing when he moved. He was the first person to rave about how great smoking was. And he's also three one that told me it was the smoker box. He said something like "yeah, you just put the wood and stuff inside the little box instead of the grill and you smoke the meat." And of course I've had smoked meat at BBQ places before so I wanted to make it myself. And I agree I'm fucking stupid, but I'm sure at least one of the dozens of people that watched me do this shit knew I was stupid, and they could've said something. I mean I'm basically cuck level nice when people tell me I'm wrong, so I'm sure no one was worried about me getting upset.

[Anonymous No.9132848]

>>9132840
>>9132803
>>9132759
This is awesome I'll have to try it out later this week. Should i pick up some ribs for my first go or a pair of chickens? How about the offset smoker can i just use coals or should i put some wood chips in there too?

[Anonymous No.9132857]

>>9132846
OK, here's what you need to know.

What your neighbor gave you is an offset smoker. That's what it's for. It looks like someone put a grate in the main chamber and someone (you, I assume) has been using it for grilling. It probably donesn't work well for that as I mentioned earlier because there's no way to get good airflow to the coals. If you want to do a lot of grilling or cooking with direct heat I'd suggest getting an actual grill.

Now then, the little box on the right is the firebox. The grate in there is what you build your fire on TOP of. That's important because of how the airflow works. The airflow comes in the little damper on the end. It goes UNDER the grate in the firebox and then up into the fire. Then the heat/smoke go into the main chamber and then up through the chimney. Make sure you're building your fire on top of that grate and keep the ashes and stuff cleaned out from under it. You need the airflow path clear otherwise you'll have a hard time keeping a steady temperature.

[Anonymous No.9132868]

>>9132848
>can i just use coals or should i put some wood chips in there too?

The whole point is to smoke, so you need wood. Ideally you would burn large pieces of wood in there. Firewood. If you don't have that you can use charcoal and wood chips. If you are using wood chips then make sure you soak them in water before tossing them in there so they don't burn too fast.

[Anonymous No.9132876]

>>9132857
Thanks. But I was just fucking with you, this is my grill and I know how smokers work. You're really patient, you should be a dad.

[Anonymous No.9132908]

>>9132876
le epic meme XD

GOT EEMM!

[Anonymous No.9132936]

>>9132667
>>9132661
>>9132756
Yea I can see your point, I guess its just that I know 3 people with culinary degrees. 1 works in a 5 star restaurant and 2 that work in a 4 star restaurant an all of them love to talk about how good they can cook but all of them eat fast food all the time and never cook.

Honestly how cucked can cooks be to indulge on fast food yet cook high class meals at a fancy eating establishment.

[Anonymous No.9132939]

The chicken having too much fat that causes the fires of hell yo flare five feet high, and char the chicken to Satan's liking if I have too many coals in the grill...

but that's just me.

[Anonymous No.9132944]

>>9132936
How about you go where they work and pay to eat their food? Instead of acting like a nigger and expecting something for free, while offering nothing in return. You can be a degenerate in the parking lot, and drink in the restaurant.

[Anonymous No.9132967]

>>9132936
>five star restaurant

Fuck off. Yelp reviews don't count.

[Anonymous No.9133060]

>>9126774
>95/5 lean ground beef
80/20 or 85/15 works for a fucking reason. The fat keeps it from sticking. 95/5 is more for taco meat, sloppy joes or meat sauce in spaghetti. Not for burgers.

If your asswipe uncle wants to be "healfee" he can do that with other shit at his own time, not with burgers.

[Anonymous No.9133064]

>>9128668
Are you making hamburgers or Subway Meatball subs?

[Anonymous No.9133068]

>>9128857
>Cumin
You making tacos and chili meat, son? I love cumin too, but really?

[Anonymous No.9133087]

>>9126819
I use two different mixes depending on the burger. Always open to a 3rd or 4th down the line.

King of the Hill is why I use Nutmeg in some burger mixes, sparingly -- a little goes a long way. I also tried onion soup powder but that didn't pan out so well. Just regular granulated onion is fine but not with the mix that has nutmeg in it.

Oddly enough, I have used pepper on my patties. Not that I'm averse to it, I might try it sometime.

[Anonymous No.9133092]

>>9133068
You only use a teeny bit to help enhance the savory taste, ya dingus

[Anonymous No.9133186]

>>9128011
>alcoholic sister
Where abouts do you lot live?

[Anonymous No.9133217]

>>9128011
>alcoholic sister
This always bothered me. My aunt, we're only 5 years apart, was a total alchy for years until she became a jesus freak and no one gave a shit. Meanwhile while i was moving my dad and uncle "found" a few beers in my fridge and gave me a rass of bullshit about how i'm a fuck up and fucking up my life

[Anonymous No.9133223]

>>9128001
Like you know what would work on a grill.

[Anonymous No.9133449]

>>9126774
>horde of flies decides to show up too

Fuck eating outside

[Anonymous No.9133653]

>>9133217
>family found some beer and pitched a bitch

How fucking old are you? Not that anyone would have dared to do that with me when I was 18, but if they had, I would have told them unironically to fuck right off.

[Anonymous No.9133661]

>>9126774
Hey, can I get cheap ground beef, blackened, crispy, and covered in lighter fluid? Perfect coupling to a Bud Light?

[Anonymous No.9133679]

>>9133653
At the time 19 I wasn't even living at home at the time it was fucking asinine

[Anonymous No.9133801]

>>9130615
1-800-roastie

[Anonymous No.9133955]

>>9132134
>Local Nigerian

[Anonymous No.9135256]

>>9128668
lmao literal child who probably put's ketchup on hot dogs. Don't worry kiddy, you will grow up and stop watching peppa pig one day.

[Anonymous No.9135398]

>>9135256
There is literally nothing wrong with ketchup on hot dogs.

[Anonymous No.9135451]

>>9135256
There is literally nothing wrong with peppa pig.

[Anonymous No.9135473]

>>9132090
All of those things are still the same and many were enacted during the last conservatives term.

[Anonymous No.9135506]

>>9135473
I know. I wasn't blaming Trump, Obama, or anyone else for them.

Anon asked what was shitty about the country and I answered. Nothing more.

[Anonymous No.9135605]

>>9126819
tfw no mouth-pussy gf

[Anonymous No.9135650]

>>9126774
>>MFW my brother sprays his meat with water right after putting spices on it.

[Anonymous No.9135878]

>>9132570
If you're using charcoal, either use a chemical firelighter, or simply start it like a campfire with newspaper and kindling.

>>9132134
>>Grill almost catches on fire twice because he didn't check the grease trap
Proper bbqs don't have grease traps. The grease drips down into the charcoal, and the fire burns hotter as a result.

[Anonymous No.9135882]

>>9126774
not your fucking blog op. just kys

[Anonymous No.9135884]

>>9135878
You're confusing BBQ with grilling again.

When BBQing the heat is indirect. So anything dripping off the meat will fall into the bottom of the smoker, not into the coals. Such setups very commonly have grease traps. You ever cook a dozen briskets at a time? Do you know how much grease that produces?

[Anonymous No.9135910]

>>9127389
Wow I was about to nibble this bait, but I got a hold of myself before it was too late.

[Anonymous No.9137087]

>>9127807
>The only time he really fucked up was when he bought a beef brisket that was too small and when he finally got to take a break to fix his own plate, it was all gone.

What the hell? I thought it was customary everywhere that whoever's barbecuing gets first pick/the best cuts for his troubles.

[Anonymous No.9137873]

>>9132967
He obviously means 5 Michelin Stars

[Anonymous No.9137908]

>>9126774
>and then there's Nick in his my little pony shirt, mumbling to himself, yammering on about "mouthfeel" and generally making mom and dad wish they'd had an abortion.