/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9105323]

Gimme your best fantasy/tg inspired recipes.

One time I made some "lembas", aka trail bread made by elves from Lord of the Rings, as an experiment to see if it's something I would serve to my friends on D&D night using a modified hard-tack recipe. I tried to make it more pleasant to eat and little more nourishing than hard-tack usually is. Here it is.

2 cups of all-purpose flour
2 cups of quick oats
2 cups of water
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons white sugar

Combine the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl, making sure they're mixed well. Add water and knead into a dry dough. Roll out the dough to a 1/2 inch in thickness, and cut into 3 inch squares. Score a cross with a knife into the top of each square, and poke 9 holes in a square pattern all the way through with a toothpick. Lay them out on a baking sheet and put them in the oven at 375 F for 30 minutes. Take them out, allow them to cool, then flip them over and bake again at 375 F for another 30 minutes. Allow the lembas to dry out by keeping them in the open for a few days, then wrap them in cheesecloth or parchment paper and store them in an air-tight container. It should keep for a couple of months, and makes a nice snack. I suggest serving them with milk or soup to soften them, as they should be very crisp.

[Anonymous No.9105472]

but
you could serve them dry ramen instead
(roll and put away your carpets beforehand)

[Anonymous No.9105477]

>>9105323

[Anonymous No.9105507]

>>9105323
At what point should I add elf magic?

[Anonymous No.9105516]

>>9105507
You should be singing haunting tunes in Elvish throughout the process.

[Anonymous No.9105523]

>>9105507
Right before you add the unicorn farts.

[Anonymous No.9105536]

>>9105507
>Not prepping your Elvish magic
Come on bro.

[Anonymous No.9105554]

>>9105323
What kinda gay ass shit is this

[Anonymous No.9105591]

>>9105323
Cosmic brownie shakes are my go-to, usually.

[Anonymous No.9105596]

>>9105323
Seems like a much better attempt than the faggot that was doing butterbeer yesterday. I'd suggest wrapping them in banana leaves or something because that was an important component imparting some of the magical sustaining powers.

Also since you're not trully storing for long term, include some fat like butter or lard for flavor. Add some honey too, it was supposed to be a supremely flavorful thing, not an 18th century British navy seaman's shit ration which is what your recipe sounds like.

[Anonymous No.9105601]

>>9105591
I've seen the greentext before, but no one ever posts a screencap of whether or not that anon posted a recipe. I'm morbidly curious, but my money is on the whole thing being fictional.

[Anonymous No.9105605]

>>9105323
Meatbread is the one and only true /tg/ meal and you know it.

[Anonymous No.9105613]

>>9105323
Use milk instead of water in that recipe to make it more nutritious/filling. Also, I remember seeing the ingredients for an emergency food ration and it was basically a sweet shortbread cookie that had cheese in it. A ricotta cheese cookie would probably be closer to what lembas is supposed to be.

[Anonymous No.9105661]

>>9105596
>>9105613
These are both some pretty good points, I'll do some more experimenting with your suggestions and see where it gets me.

[Anonymous No.9106205]

>>9105605
But what if I browse both? Shouldn't my game night recipes be better than the average fa/tg/uy?

[Anonymous No.9106322]

like two hours ago someone was on /v/ posting what certain races' rations would've looked like

[Anonymous No.9106340]

>>9106322
>going to /v/

[Anonymous No.9106351]

>>9106340
/v/, /ck/, and /g/ are my favourite boards

sometimes i go on /tv/ as well

[Anonymous No.9106360]

>>9106340
it's decent sometimes

[Anonymous No.9106428]

>>9106205
The game night meal of the average fa/tg/uy is a bag of cheetos, so cooking anything puts you leagues ahead.
The meatbread is the thing people think of doing but never actually do because it's too much of a hassle.

[Anonymous No.9106480]

I haven't read LOTR / Hobbit in many years, but I seem to recall that it contained honey

[Anonymous No.9106506]

>>9105323
Tried my hand at making a variant of a Bowl of Brown from ASOIAF. Ultimately it was just a beef stew with added pork, chicken, and lamb.

It wasn't the worst thing.