/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:22:57 2017 No.9105111 [Reply] [Original]

For centuries, a rite of passage for French gourmets was the eating of the Ortolan. These tiny birds—captured alive, force-fed, then drowned in Armagnac—were roasted whole and eaten that way, bones and all, while the diner draped his head with a linen napkin to preserve the precious aromas and, some believe, to hide from God.

Where can I try Ortolan?

I'm happy to travel to France to do it, I'm just aware that they've decided to enforce an EU prohibition on the dish.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:24:17 2017 No.9105114 >>9105111 Trips confirm this was the original meme food.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:24:41 2017 No.9105116 >>9105111 Sounds like quail fois gras. I'd eat it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:27:15 2017 No.9105123 Drowning is pretty easy way to go. Why would it be inhumane?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:30:14 2017 No.9105137 Tbh they're not really force fed. They just cover the cage making the bird think it's night and the bird keeps eating. The Romans used to poke the birds' eyes out to achieve the same result.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:30:45 2017 No.9105139 >>9105111 >Where can I try Ortolan? >I'm happy to travel to France to try it. Just answered your own question, retard.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:30:57 2017 No.9105140 I guess if you can manage to catch a finch or sparrow where you live, you can make this dish at home pretty faithfully. They're pretty similar birds.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:32:14 2017 No.9105142 >>9105139 It's illegal in France and they've been cracking down on sales as of late.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:33:57 2017 No.9105146 >>9105111 Why do they go out of their way to be dicks and drown the birds? You could just decapitate them like chickens and then soak the carcass in Armagnac and get the same result.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:34:05 2017 No.9105148 >>9105123 Who said it was?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:37:47 2017 No.9105159 >>9105146 Why the fuck would you decapitate them like a savage fucking mud hut dwelling nigger? Just drown them in liquor where they die from the fumes, like civilized people.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:42:32 2017 No.9105178 >>9105148 >enforce an EU prohibition on the dish. Why else would they prohibit it?

Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:42:59 2017 No.9105181

>>9105146
I would imagine the idea is to keep the skin intact so no juices leak out when you roast them. It might also have to do with keeping the blood in the carcass too. I know that for some dishes, like "pressed duck" the duck is killed by breaking its neck rather than cutting its head off because the goal is to retain the blood so that it can be used to make the sauce for said dish.

Also: a bird that small drowned in strong booze? It would be dead the instant it took a breath. You're imagining a poor little birdie flapping around for several minutes--that wouldn't happen.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:44:33 2017 No.9105188 >>9105111 >no mention of the fact that you're not just eating bones, but shitter and intestines

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:44:48 2017 No.9105191 File: 24 KB, 400x300, Screen-443960.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9105111 Yes, we've all seen that episode of American Dad. You forgot about the bird CPR part though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:44:58 2017 No.9105192 >>9105146 There's worse ways to go besides drowning in Armagnac. Hell, if you drowned in Armagnac, you'd be a legend around the al/ck/ threads.

Anonymous Wed Jun 28 17:48:19 2017 No.9105202

>>9105178

Supposedly it's because the Ortolan is an endangered species.

It could also have to do with food safety/hygiene laws. I don't know enough about EU law to comment on that specifically, but in the US that kind of thing would be an issue. It is illegal in the US to sell or serve meat or poultry that hasn't been USDA inspected. That means that meat from wild animals cannot be sold, but a hunter can consume it themselves. I'm sure something similar exists in the EU, and it's entirely possible that the ortolan falls foul of that law because wild-caught birds wouldn't have the same safety inspections as farm raised.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 18:14:45 2017 No.9105298 >>9105192 >drowning in Armagnac That's how I want to go, sobriety is a cunt.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 18:18:51 2017 No.9105310 >>9105178 >Why else would they prohibit it? Because it's the EU. They create a bunch of ridiculous laws for no other reason than to be dicks to their citizens.

Anonymous Wed Jun 28 19:46:39 2017 No.9105708

>>9105202
And the only way for it to never get extinct is to forbid it from being profitable and making sure no one will ever feed, raise and protect them...

If they're endangered, nature is already rejecting them, this is the worse thing you could do if you want to keep them around.
You know chicken woudn't survive in the wild if not for humans, right?

I hate leftist so much, they are oblivious to economy. The EU is an abomination, they think they can change the market with "just the right amount of intervention and prohibitive laws" and end up only hurting the very things they try to protect.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 19:48:37 2017 No.9105719 >>9105708 (You) have to go back to your containment board.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 19:52:58 2017 No.9105734 >>9105708 >You know chicken woudn't survive in the wild if not for humans, right? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junglefowl

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 19:54:56 2017 No.9105741 >>9105146 It's a fucking bird, you complete pussified faggot.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 19:57:57 2017 No.9105759 >>9105741 >torturing small birds makes me a tough guy You don't need to be so insecure. I'll still think of you as a man even if you aren't torturing small creatures that can't properly defend themselves.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:02:32 2017 No.9105771 >>9105708 I've always thought that the one way to keep any animal/plant/mineral from going extinct is to make it profitable to farm and then devour.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:02:33 2017 No.9105772 >>9105708 >people this dumb think their opinion matters on anything Something being profitable and wild makes it more likely to become extinct. You don't need to look very far to find species that went extinct due to overhunting.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:13:55 2017 No.9105811 >>9105771 >minerals go extinct American education ladies and gentlemen

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:15:38 2017 No.9105816 >>9105734 Way to prove my argument, that's not even close to the Chester's we eat, dumbass.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:19:11 2017 No.9105829 >>9105816 You realize that the only reason chickens, cows, etc. wouldn't survive in the wild is because we took an animal that did survive in the wild and bred it until it couldn't?

Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:24:51 2017 No.9105841

>>9105772
Only on pre operations research days (before WW2), when the animal was already about to get extinct or had some fucked up mating habits that wasn't known at the time, oh, and on socialist coletivised shit holes (where economic calculus isn't possible).

>"But the amerindi-"
Yes, those were neither capitalists or had the level of science and globalized capitalism we have, not even close, and I'm sure if you proved to them those Buffalos were getting wiped out and gave them the scientific knowledge and a plan to keep them, they would follow it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:27:53 2017 No.9105857 >>9105829 Hence, becoming ANOTHER animal, in these cases. Another example to my first argument is the Panda, it's only still around because we think it's cute and that's profitable, and it's still a pain in the ass to make it so.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:29:08 2017 No.9105862 >>9105841 Lots of species today are dropping at unsustainable rates. Bluefin tuna populations, for example, have dropped by like 80% since like 1970.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:31:17 2017 No.9105868 >>9105857 Yeah, that's true. But it's not like the panda was threatened before all of its habitat was deforested and converted to farmland.

Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:36:04 2017 No.9105882

>>9105862
The core of the argument is Extinction, not #. When we put our hands on wild animals (that in this case wasn't endangered to begin with, hence has nothing to do with what I was talking about), they drop in numbers but don't get extinct, they drop to a point of stability in accordance to the supply and demand law.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:41:38 2017 No.9105894 >>9105123 Are you dense? Drowning is one of the most horrible deaths.

Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:45:47 2017 No.9105909

>>9105868
They were, and you act like those farmlands weren't feeding millions of starving Japanese children.
The very food you eat comes out of farmlands. You can't have this lifestyle you have (you're here posting on 4chan, aren't you?) without exploration, but you guys act like it's unsustainable from pure ignorance, the actual foundation of capitalism (private property, relative pricing and profit) and applied mathematics in the environment makes it stable.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:49:24 2017 No.9105929 >>9105894 A bird that size would die in 1 second in a bottle of Armagnac, maybe with a strong whiff.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:50:48 2017 No.9105931 >>9105811 You never know, and the only way to make sure is to eat it, then you have a market driven incentive to keep them around.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:51:57 2017 No.9105936 >>9105909 It is unsustainable you fucking fig

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 20:56:59 2017 No.9105958 >>9105894 But also the tastiest.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 21:35:09 2017 No.9106116 >>9105894 No it isn't.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 21:43:21 2017 No.9106160 >>9105178 This is why they're importing Muslims, because French culture is dead and they need a new one. I guess the whole "fucking little girls" thing is the same in both.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 21:45:33 2017 No.9106171 >>9106116 How do you know?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 21:46:02 2017 No.9106174 >>9105936 Then get out of here, quick.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 21:54:49 2017 No.9106210 >>9106171 I've drowned unwanted puppies, they didn't suffer.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 28 22:42:17 2017 No.9106387 >>9106210 You deserve to be lynched.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:30:03 2017 No.9107763 >>9105146 No way. A carcass soaked in a fluid is not going to be the same as a carcass of an animal that died trying to breathe it in.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:33:00 2017 No.9107766 >>9105894 even worse for birds because they live in the air. it's like drowning a human in earth. much worse.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:35:13 2017 No.9107768 >>9105123 Drowning is horrible. It hurts.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:36:16 2017 No.9107770

>>9107766
>even worse for birds because they live in the air.

Why would that matter at all?

What makes you think that a tiny little bird is going to live more than a literal second when immersed in very strong liquor? Do you think the bird has some kind of magical protection that's going to stop that massive shot of alcohol straight into the bloodstream from knocking it out instantly?

It seems to me that your head is filled with a lot of hyperbole yet very little logic and reason.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:45:46 2017 No.9107792

>>9105708
You're right. We should have made bald eagles into livestock here in the states. That was the only way to save them. Putting them on an endangered species list and protecting them and their environment was never going to work out.

Now we'll only know what they look like by the tattoo you have on your back of one in front of an american flag...

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:46:11 2017 No.9107793 >>9107770 You seem to have a terrible sense of humor my friend >inb4 I was only pretending to be boring

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:55:22 2017 No.9107819 but if you eat a bird whole you're eating its shit

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:56:21 2017 No.9107822 >>9107819 Birds don't shit.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 09:56:49 2017 No.9107825

>>9105882
Motherfucker, do you think there's an invisible hand directing Nature too? Commercial fish are dying out because we're hauling them out of the sea faster than they can reproduce; you don't need a doctorate in marine biology to understand this. Scientists are doing all they can, but it doesn't amount to more than hand-wringing because the commercial fishing industry by and large doesn't give a shit about sustainability.

And as to the bison, it was driven to near extinction not by Native Americans, but by the exploitative butchering and hunting policies in the 19th century, and they were thriving extraordinarily well before that happened. Most of the bison you see today are hybrids between wild bison and domestic cattle; there are only 12,000-15,000 pure bison left in the world today.

No amount of science can fix or excuse the ravages of exploitative agriculture and development, short of reforming the system. Like it or not, the graveyards are filled with species that died because humans, and humans alone, destroyed them.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:00:53 2017 No.9107830

>>9107825
>but by the exploitative butchering and hunting policies in the 19th century

Keep in mind that those policies were specifically intended to wipe out the buffalo. It wasn't an accident that they nearly went extinct, it was a deliberate act that was part of the war between the US and the native Americans. Plains Indians depended on the buffalo for their very survival. Take out the buffalo and you deny your enemy food, building materials, and so on.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:01:28 2017 No.9107831 >>9107825 Why do people like this >>9107825 separate humans from nature? We are nature too, we came out of the same biological goo we just evolved better.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:02:59 2017 No.9107832 >>9107822 My car disagrees.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:16:03 2017 No.9107870 >>9107831 Literal brainwashing has turned people like him insane.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:16:35 2017 No.9107873 Jesus fucking christ you could sell anything to the french if you tell them the cool kids are doing it

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:22:07 2017 No.9107887 >>9105111 >bones and all Why?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:47:14 2017 No.9107959 File: 78 KB, 675x424, JP-ORTOLAN1-master675.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9105111 This looks stupid as fuck

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:47:24 2017 No.9107961 >>9105181 So they don't cut out the guts, and the unwanted shit? Ewww

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 10:53:12 2017 No.9107974 >>9107887 Cuz it's fucking metal dude

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:01:56 2017 No.9107995 [DELETED]

Fun Fact:

The Ortolan delicacy was actually a dying trend throughout Europe before Ozzy Ozbourne famously bit the head off of an ortolan on stage in Sabbath's famous Nassau Colliseum concert.

Immediately after that concert, ortolan sales exploded 10 fold in Europe.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:03:43 2017 No.9108000

>>9105909
Could you elaborate on what made the species not viable if it wasn't a massive change in the environment? It's not like something stayed alive for millions of years and then just stopped being viable for no reason. I couldn't find anything that didn't point to habitat loss.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:10:15 2017 No.9108020 [DELETED]

>>9108000
>It's not like something stayed alive for millions of years and then just stopped being viable for no reason

This literally happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME in the natural world.

And just because you don't fucking understand the reason, doesn't mean there is no reason.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:12:02 2017 No.9108024

>>9107831
Not him but I don't think he was. So put that "argument" aside. Do you think we, with our intelligence and gift of forethought, should continue to destroy habitats and whip out other species? We could wipe out the entire rainforest if we wanted. Do you see any reason we should not?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:15:41 2017 No.9108032 >>9108020 Please give me a single example where there was absolutely no change and the species died.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:18:01 2017 No.9108037 >>9108020 Ah, so I misread the last part of your post which contradicts the rest of your post. Instead, please give me the alternative to why the pandas became endangered then. Your claim was it was not due to deforestation.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 11:22:55 2017 No.9108057 >>9106210 I hope someone drowns you when you inevitably become unwanted.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 13:25:15 2017 No.9108351 >>9105719 Not him but fuck off. He wasn't even being at all right wing you sad cunt.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 14:05:56 2017 No.9108450

>>9105123
They remove the eyes of the bird at one point, for feeding reasons.
Drowning is the best part for the bird.

>>9105139
>Take plane to France
>When exiting the airport, you're at France's central place
>Go to France's tavern
>Ask France's innkeeper where to eat Otorlan
Etc.

>>9105178
It's illegal to hunt and kill protected/endangered species, the dish isn't technically banned, only it's main ingredient.
Idk if they could make it with another small bird.

>>9105841
Find a way to raise otorlans then, they would sell like brioches. Look at OP, he's ready to buy a $1000+ plane ticket for one.
Oh, right, you can't and that's why we had to protect the bird from hunting.

>>9105857
The panda is the example of animal protection done wrong. All the money went to a useless animal because it's cute, while useful species receive no funds. Could be used as an argument against pure capitalism, since the invisible hand doesn't care about real value of animals, only how they look like in TV ads.

>>9106210
They did. Why didn't you hit them on the back of the head with a shovel, like any civilised human would do?

>>9107825
The 12-15000 bison are pretty much all cousins too, since they grew this population from a very small number of animals. We'll never have a real specie with genetic diversity back.
>inb4 nigger bison

>>9107831
Doesn't give us the right to destroy the planet. We pretty much have a duty to use our extraordinary capacity for planing to keep the planet liveable for future generations.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 14:10:54 2017 No.9108461 File: 207 KB, 400x400, get a load of that guy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9105708 >he can't tell the difference between wild and domesticated animals What is it about /ck/ that attracts such a high concentration of smug morons?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 14:22:21 2017 No.9108487 >>9107770 While your head is filled with literal shit. Drowning is still drowning. The fucking fumes don' t exist "underwater" and - please elaborate - since when does taking a sip of alcohol go STRAIGHT into your bloddstream?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 14:25:55 2017 No.9108497 >>9108487 >alcohol go STRAIGHT into your bloddstream? Alcohol isn't digested, it really does go from stomach/small intestine into the bloodstream.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 14:26:29 2017 No.9108501 >>9108487 >since when does taking a sip of alcohol go STRAIGHT into your bloddstream Not him. You get high from a joint almost instantaneously, not the same as digesting alcohol. Drowning puts alcohol in the lungs, where transmission is very fast.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 15:21:12 2017 No.9108622 File: 1.27 MB, 1398x860, pol_class_pic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9105111 So it's an alcoholic pigeon/crow? Why bother?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 15:24:47 2017 No.9108632 File: 89 KB, 459x459, dc.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9108622

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 15:25:44 2017 No.9108636

>>9108487
>The fucking fumes don' t exist "underwater"
You're right. Liquid alcohol does.

>>since when does taking a sip of alcohol go STRAIGHT into your bloddstream?

Drowning has nothing to do with sipping. Drowning means the little bird's lungs fill up with strong booze. The alcohol enters the bloodstream via the lungs. The blood-alcohol concentration would go from zero to well beyond lethal in literally a second or two.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 15:30:56 2017 No.9108647

>>9108636
>The blood-alcohol concentration would go from zero to well beyond lethal in literally a second or two.

No, it would not.
There would certainly be an increase but you wouldn't hit poisoning levels in the time it takes to drown.
Imbibed alcohol does go straight into the bloodstream, though; a little of it anyway is absorbed in the oesophagus. Especially the hard liquor will hit very quickly in part because of this.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 15:35:04 2017 No.9108661 >>9107825 >do you think there's an invisible hand directing Nature too? You mean Natural Selection?

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 15:43:50 2017 No.9108713

>>9108647
>Imbibed alcohol does go straight into the bloodstream, though

Alcohol will enter the bloodstream far faster though the lungs than it will through the GI tract.

This ought to be immediately obvious since the lungs have a much higher density of blood vessels, a much higher surface area, and no mucus lining to interfere with absorption. Compare alveolar sacs vs. the lining of the stomach or small intestine.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 16:10:23 2017 No.9108804 >>9105146 Because the entire point of drowning them is that their lungs pop like little sacs of brandy when you bite into them.

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 16:18:30 2017 No.9108835

>chinese people can't eat anything without torturing it first
>"fuckin' soulless chinks goddamn"
>frenchies do it with some nice booze
>"oh how cultured, I must try this"

you lads would eat dogshit if someone with a funny accent told you it was a delicacy

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 18:22:42 2017 No.9109181 >>9108835 I don't see how cultural attitudes to cruel preparation of a dish relates to yet another lazy metaphor based around eating literal shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 21:14:45 2017 No.9109849 File: 35 KB, 453x500, 6628876.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9105929 id love to hear why

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 22:18:16 2017 No.9110138

>>9108661
>Natural Selection
>Natural
Artificial extermination is natural now?

>>9108713
Also it doesn't reach the intestine before minutes or hours, so compare mass of alveolar sacs with just the oesophagus...

>>9109849
Small amount of blood I guess also plays a role.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 22:21:26 2017 No.9110147 >>9110138 so it holds it breath, or gets literally under regular water and its fine for around a minute maybe, but it dies in a single second if it whiffs liquor

Anonymous Thu Jun 29 22:33:10 2017 No.9110183

>>9110147
Well, it dies the moment it inhales liquid alcohol. That leaves some time for apnoea of course. And months living with its eyes poked out.
I didn't say it was cool for the bird at any time in the process, hiding from God makes sense after you did all this shit to His creation for a few seconds of fancy taste in your mouth.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 29 22:39:22 2017 No.9110205 >>9110183 >Well, it dies the moment it inhales liquid alcohol

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 30 05:11:53 2017 No.9111115 >>9106171 Drowning is one of those funny ones you can experience and then come back from. It's frightening but then peaceful as white fuzzyness fills your vision, you stop giving a single fuck, and then darkness creeps in from the borders.

Anonymous Fri Jun 30 05:16:11 2017 No.9111125

>>9108713
>Alcohol will enter the bloodstream far faster though the lungs than it will through the GI tract.
True. But while you need milligrammes of for example THC or meth to get high you need many grammes of alcohol. I think a glass of wine has about 10 cc of pure ethanol in it.
Do you you can absorb, say, 60 cc of ethanol from your lungs in a second?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 30 05:16:56 2017 No.9111127 Ortolan is illegal, isn't it?

Anonymous Fri Jun 30 05:25:41 2017 No.9111141
File: 11 KB, 501x585, 1352912850591.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9105111
>blinded so they would become confused and consume more
>force-fed with a high-sugar diet to become fat, as desired by their masters
>in the end killed off for the amusement of secretive society hiding from curious eyes
goyim are ortolans!

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 30 05:48:02 2017 No.9111166 birds feathers are waterproof. and they need gravity to swallow so while in the booze they would be unable to ingest it. even if some went in their beak it is hard and not like a mouth.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 30 08:33:33 2017 No.9111461 >>9105116 It sounds nothing like foie gras

Anonymous Fri Jun 30 12:05:16 2017 No.9111930

>>9105111
>It was Claude Souvenir who told us about the ortolan, a toe-sized bird that was eaten by the Romans, then the French—a tiny, sweet songbird sadistically tortured and consumed in one bite.

>The ortolan does not exactly taste good. It is more art than nourishment. One does not eat it for the simple pleasure of flavor; one eats it to experience something transcendent—to commune with life, suffering, and death in one mouthful. It is said to be the final course ingested by French President François Mitterrand at his legendary, opulent last supper. Mitterrand, dying of cancer, drifted in and out of consciousness during the meal. He died eight days later.

>You catch the ortolan with a net spread up in the forest canopy. Take it alive. Take it home. Poke out its eyes and put it in a small cage. Force-feed it oats and millet and figs until it has swollen to four times its normal size. Drown it in brandy. Roast it whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Bring it to the table. Place a cloth—a napkin will do—over your head to hide your cruelty from the sight of God. Put the whole bird into your mouth, with only the beak protruding from your lips. Bite. Put the beak on your plate and begin chewing, gently. You will taste three things: First, the sweetness of the flesh and fat. This is God. Then, the bitterness of the guts will begin to overwhelm you. This is the suffering of Jesus. Finally, as your teeth break the small, delicate bones and they begin to lacerate your gums, you will taste the salt of your own blood, mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. This is the Holy Spirit, the mystery of the Trinity—three united as one. It is cruel. And beautiful.

>According to Claude Souvenir, chewing the ortolan takes approximately 15 minutes.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 30 15:31:19 2017 No.9112475 >>9111166 you know that you drown by inhaling, not swallowing, right? you don't put air inside your tummy when you breathe, dumbass well, sometimes you do, but then you just belch it out

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 01:41:07 2017 No.9114490 >>9111930 You can just put it in a box, there's no need to poke the eyes out

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 01:52:55 2017 No.9114513 >>9112475 Birds need gravity to breathe too.

Anonymous Sat Jul 1 02:01:08 2017 No.9114534

>>9108450
>The 12-15000 bison are pretty much all cousins too, since they grew this population from a very small number of animals. We'll never have a real specie with genetic diversity back.

Theoretically, by constantly growing and subdividing the population, you could create genetic diversity over many generations. By reintroducing populations of subdivided animals back into each other briefly and then re-dividing them you could probably speed up the process. Obviously it wouldn't be the same thing as not having fucked them in the first place, but it's still something.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 02:17:02 2017 No.9114571 File: 136 KB, 325x325, 1489044535119.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9111930

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 02:21:26 2017 No.9114586 http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a4642/the-last-meal-0598/

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 04:03:35 2017 No.9114821 >>9105111 This sounds like some horseshit one psychotic frenchman came up with one day to fuck with people and make something sound more valuable than it actually is

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 11:42:44 2017 No.9115731 >>9106210 you keep telling yourself that :)

Anonymous Sat Jul 1 11:58:18 2017 No.9115791 [DELETED]

>>9114534
If the injuns hadn't Holocaust the Buffalo we wouldn't have to ruin so much land with cattle and we could each have our own Buffalo in our back yard and not have to have factory farm meat. But no they had to drive thousands off cliffs only to harvest the hooves for decoration

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 12:00:26 2017 No.9115803 File: 369 KB, 289x460, 1431051609394.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9107959 What a bunch of freakin morons, they look like fuckin assholes

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 12:45:19 2017 No.9115970 >>9105811 >Imalayan salt

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 12:46:48 2017 No.9115975 >>9105811 Not extinct, but minerals can run out

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 13:12:18 2017 No.9116058 File: 28 KB, 711x802, IMG_1760.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9111930

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 14:33:28 2017 No.9116347 File: 127 KB, 1080x990, 1474908608568.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9111930 Sounds disgusting. I'm glad it's banned.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 14:45:11 2017 No.9116384 >>9105146 Who cares, they're birds. Fuck em. You're disneyfied soft bro.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 14:47:51 2017 No.9116399 >>9111930 Were the Romans, then the French, autistic?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 14:50:13 2017 No.9116412 >>9107961 it's not unwanted if it's desired, fag

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 14:58:04 2017 No.9116437 >>9105894 This is a stupid meme. It's painful but it's quick. There are so many far worse ways to die.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 18:25:41 2017 No.9117210 File: 261 KB, 630x565, wut.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9111930

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 18:30:29 2017 No.9117225 File: 6 KB, 350x300, 1458884459646.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9111461 >Force fed birds. It's the same thing except you eat the whole bird instead of just the liver. Do you even have a clue what you're talking about?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 1 18:47:55 2017 No.9117299 >>9111930 THIS is what the definition of meme food is.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 02:41:23 2017 No.9118932 >>9107959 That looks satanic.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 02:54:26 2017 No.9118972 >>9105146 That's why you need to hide yourself from God when eating it, it is a sinful meal

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 03:05:42 2017 No.9118992 >>9107959 Yeah well they're eating ortolan and we're not Nothing will ever change that

Anonymous Sun Jul 2 04:39:56 2017 No.9119150
File: 31 KB, 350x220, 1425504375253.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9111930
What they never tell is how this shit ever started.

Some twisted individual(s) actually came up with the whole idea, from the poking their eyes out to drowning it in alcohol. This part I can still believe, because there are plenty sadists, or people with voices in their heads. What I don't get is how these crazy people managed to convince other people into doing the same, and actually turn it some sort of retarded cult ritual that plenty of dumb idiots now would crave to do too, even though they know it tastes like shit.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 04:41:23 2017 No.9119155 >>9118992 An axe to their head might could change that. Not as punishment, but to make sure they don't procreate.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 04:46:01 2017 No.9119169 >>9119150 It's a religious experience, anon. That should tell you everything.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 06:47:29 2017 No.9119369 >>9119155 Religion of peace. >>9119150 >even though they know it tastes like shit. How would you know that Anon?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 06:57:32 2017 No.9119385 File: 37 KB, 540x304, 1468110452804.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9108804 we are monsters :(

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 06:58:55 2017 No.9119387 File: 139 KB, 242x305, 1489364855595.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9107766

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 07:10:17 2017 No.9119401 File: 1002 KB, 250x251, tumblr_m7swmtmv7n1rn95k2o1_250_zps880b4a1e.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9111930 >15 minutes of chewing That's the worst part

Anonymous Sun Jul 2 07:34:53 2017 No.9119434

>>9119401
15 minutes of crunching on sharp little bird bones and organs all filled with organ juice and shit ALL THE WHILE there's a stupid napkin on your head and you're surrounded by fancy French cunts

If I'm going to have a cruel delicacy, it has to be delicious, at least.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 07:38:11 2017 No.9119442 >>9119434 t. flyover

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 14:22:57 2017 No.9120298 >>9107961 They are porbly purged and fasted for a day or two before the armangac au revoir.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 16:16:21 2017 No.9120688 >>9119369 >Religion of peace Not really. The Muslim practice is to slit the throat. An axe to the back of the head is more akin to the Sikh and Hindu method of slaughtering meat, jhakta.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 18:44:13 2017 No.9121145 >>9120688 >The Muslim practice is to slit the throat Don't they decapitate with a sword? (Decapitation as capital punishment sounds very French desu.)

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 2 23:28:49 2017 No.9122258 >>9111930 do americans really eat this?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 01:24:07 2017 No.9122548 >>9122258 Americans eat anything, eating is what we do best. t. Amerifat

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 01:29:34 2017 No.9122558 >>9105111 I too have read that Anthony Bourdain book.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:06:51 2017 No.9123212 >>9119369 >How would you know that Anon? Well.. maybe because it's quite literally explained in the post that was replied to?

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:26:05 2017 No.9123258

It's a tradition thing. The actual dish is not that good.

My old father is a hunter and he knows all about this stuff. He always thought of it as a pretty stupid thing to fuss over.

The smallest bird that you can eat, that doesn't taste like total shit is a some species of quail or dove. However the EU banned any hunting of these migratory species as far as I know.

For the sake of taste, it's not that different from pigeons that some people actually farm for meat and you can purchase legally.

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:30:40 2017 No.9123267
File: 47 KB, 621x502, 1496667628563.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>eating disgusting things, acting inhumane and choosing to be immoral just because people from a radically different culture and world did it hundreds of years ago

really gay famalam are you going to upload photos of this to your social media account too for extra GBP (good boy points)?

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:31:30 2017 No.9123270

>>9105310

In general the EU hates hunting of any kind. The thing is, environmentalist (anti-hunting) lobbyist tend to be these middle aged middle class somewhat educated people who feel super strongly about hunting and they setup these huge organisations with lawyers and millions in donations and profession tear jerking videos and the hunters are just a bunch of old country men that have grown on a tradition of hunting. As you can see they don't really get the same representation in front of the EU bureaucracies. The end result of which is that hunting anything is getting outlawed.

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:35:52 2017 No.9123280

>>9105708

I'm not sure how true this is but Birdlife (I think they are the guys who campaign against hunting) blame hunters but the hunting associations have recently published their own studies showing that the decrease in the species is mostly due to erosion of habitat due to farming and urban activities.

I think it's worth noting that hunting was a way more popular activity in the past but the decrease in the species population is only recent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:39:47 2017 No.9123289 >>9119150 That's fine dining for you. I'm pretty sure the peasants who first ate these birds weren't going through that whole ritual. They probably just roasted them and ate them like any other bird.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 07:42:40 2017 No.9123301 >>9123258 Yes dove tastes the best imo, it also has plenty more meat than a fucking ortolan Can't hunt now that I live in the city but I really miss it, storebought meats don't compare

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 09:22:52 2017 No.9123529 File: 11 KB, 420x420, 1493865765281-2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] McOrtolans when?

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 09:58:11 2017 No.9123619

>>9123267
>a radically different culture
Not a different culture, it's just that you don't have any.
>hundreds of years ago
The 20th century wasn't centuries ago.

>>9123270
Animals that aren't endangered are hunt. Wild boars for example, they even have no hunting period in some regions. (Most animals are protected during reproduction season for obvious reasons.)

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 11:39:56 2017 No.9123881 >>9123267 >acting inhumane and choosing to be immoral wow nice opinions m8

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 11:57:25 2017 No.9123933 >>9105111 Why don't you just capture a similarly-sized bird and DIY? Why does it have to be an ortolan specifically?

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 12:08:46 2017 No.9123961

>>9123933
I've wondered the exact same thing myself. I haven't been able to figure out what, if anything, is special about the Ortolan compared to other small seed-eating birds.

It seems like it would be easy to try this out with sparrows or similar. I have actually considered this. Where I live the sparrow is considered an invasive pest species so there is no restriction on killing or trapping them. Seems like an easy thing to try. Worst case scenario? Spit it out if it tastes nasty.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 16:05:53 2017 No.9124806 >>9123301 At least you have pigeons now

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 16:32:34 2017 No.9124933 >>9105181 Also the insides fill with liquor, which tastes fucking amazing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 17:46:36 2017 No.9125287 >>9123961 >Worst case scenario? Parasites?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 17:50:23 2017 No.9125304 >>9125287 It's cooked, therefore there is no risk of parasites.

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 17:55:05 2017 No.9125328

>>9123961
Sparrows are larger than otorlan and eat bugs.
Carnivorous animals are usually not edible, or not without proper preparation. Eating the entire animal, blood, guts and brain included, while giving yourself open cuts in the mouth, would be plain dangerous.
(Thinking about it, danger may be part of the experience.)

I think otorlan is the smallest seed eating bird in France, the only one that fit in one mouthful (and be chewable). If you have other animals you can do the same stuff with, and if you can raise them instead of hunting/capturing them in the wild, you have a plan to get rich.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 17:57:29 2017 No.9125340 >>9105111 >to hide from God kekekekekek

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 18:02:55 2017 No.9125360

>>9125328
>Sparrows are larger than otorlan
Got any info on that? I'm not accusing you of being wrong, but the research I did a few months ago suggested they were nearly the exact same weight.

>>...and eat bugs
They're omnivorous. And I'm sure ortolans are too. Their beaks (both species) are clearly optimized for seeds rather than insects, and I get sparrows them all the time at my bird feeder. Worst case scenario I could capture some then feed them in captivity for a good long while.

>>Carnivorous animals are usually not edible
It's true that we generally don't eat carnivores, but that's not really relevant here:
1)other poultry like chickens, pheasant, doves, etc, eat insects as well as other things. Ever seen a chicken go after a mouse? It's like an addict on crack. Hell, those birds taste even better when they get a bug-rich diet as opposed to eating only grain.
2)One major reason--perhaps the biggest one--why we don't eat carnivores is because those animals have strong scent glands in their body which taint the meat. They use this for either marking their territory (solitary predators) or for communicating with the "pack", like with canines. Birds lack this scent marking system so it's a non-concern here.
3) We're talking bugs here, not animal flesh.

Anonymous Mon Jul 3 18:08:43 2017 No.9125380
File: 19 KB, 288x288, 1c486cd281376d4ffe87eecabb5c06d2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9111930
>chewing (and cutting yourself) on a bird so you can come closer to god (but then hide it?)
the worst part is the romanticizing of it, so much glory for munching on a blinded/fat fucking bird

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 18:41:25 2017 No.9125495 >>9125380 Sadists were the original edge lords. The people who did this most probably read Marquis de Sade.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 3 21:34:51 2017 No.9126317 >>9125495 Sade tortured himself?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 4 02:17:10 2017 No.9127137 >>9111125 How much a human can absorb is irrelevant when we're talking about a bird that is quite literally smaller than my penis. Less than 0.1 ml of pure ethanol is enough to kill the thing. Armagnac is 104 proof. It dies immediately.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 4 13:42:53 2017 No.9128546 >>9119150 it probably started as a dare

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