ITT: Pleb cook easy giveaways >cracking egg on the side of the pan and not on the middle of the pan flat

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Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:30:02 2017 No.9017384 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: Pleb cook easy giveaways
>cracking egg on the side of the pan and not on the middle of the pan flat

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:32:13 2017 No.9017393 >>9017384 Being OP

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:33:13 2017 No.9017401 Putting cayenne in everything like some tryhard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:33:35 2017 No.9017404 >>9017384 i do that literally every time and i have never once gotten a leak down the side like that >>9017393 this. have your mom make your eggs until you're older

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:34:11 2017 No.9017407 >>9017401 I won't have you disparaging Chef John like this. You will never be half the chef he is.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:34:52 2017 No.9017410 Cutting the onion in half across the middle rather than splitting the root.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:42:33 2017 No.9017449 >Takes longer than 30 seconds to peel and dice an onion >Covers meat in shitty seasoning salt before grilling >Adds sugar to tomato sauce >Stove has dust on the burners >Turns heat above medium for frying an egg

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:44:33 2017 No.9017453 >>9017449 >seasoning salt FUCK, this one

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:50:47 2017 No.9017477 File: 30 KB, 480x480, marie.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017401 >using cayenne for anything but mayonnaise

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:58:22 2017 No.9017502

>>9017449
>>9017453

You guys don't like seasoning salt? It's categorically delicious.

What's wrong with throwing the heat way up when cooking an egg? Some people love'm burnt to a crisp, or runny, or both.

And even the italians know to put sugar in their red sauces. Only uncultured heathens haven't figured out how to use refined white sugar as a spice.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 19:58:38 2017 No.9017504 Not using a poppy seed bun for an authentic Chicago hot dog

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:00:18 2017 No.9017512

>>9017502
>seasoning salt
Unless you're using an absolute shit cut of meat, you're ruining the taste of it.

>heat
Because it leads to an unevenly cooked egg or massively overcooked, you tard

>sugar in tomato sauces
Add spices you fucking retard, "the italians" don't fucking do that unless they're equally incompetent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:05:31 2017 No.9017525 Putting white noodles down first then a glop of red sauce on top Throwing a noodle at the wall to see if its done Chef knife is dull as fuck Using a steak knife to chop everything Electric stove Slap chop

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:13:30 2017 No.9017554 File: 25 KB, 600x451, 1456432558881.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017512 I'm not the person who you're responding to, but I'm pretty certain they were using cutting sarcasm there anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:13:42 2017 No.9017555 File: 68 KB, 700x700, 1458275444652.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017525 >electric stove

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:15:05 2017 No.9017558 File: 22 KB, 250x300, canned_hate.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017554 I CARE NOT I HAVE CHOSEN TO BE ANGRY AND SO I SHALL BE

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:15:45 2017 No.9017562 >>9017525 >not using the bolo in your kitchen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjik7AjUjQU

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:16:29 2017 No.9017564 >>9017410 splitting the root hurts the eyes worse tho you gotta keep that shit intact

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:17:43 2017 No.9017567
File: 23 KB, 306x423, article-2421116-1BD65AD9000005DC-38_306x423.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9017525
>Putting white noodles down first then a glop of red sauce on top
Hey man... it's how mom always did it and brings me back to my childhood.

>Throwing a noodle at the wall to see if its done
My uncle does this, but I sweat to god he's a great chef. The man is mystery.

>Chef knife is dull as fuck
This is inexcusable on every level. Thanks, Obama.

>Using a steak knife to chop everything
My wife does this and I am about to divorce her over it, but she has cancer and that would make me look like the bad guys. I swear it'd be because of the steak knife bullshit and not the cancer though.. that would make it ok right?

>Electric stove
I feel so bad for poor people who can't afford to better themselves.

>Slap chop
STOP HAVING A BORING LIFE!!!

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:20:57 2017 No.9017574 >>9017384 >cracking pans inside the pan and not on the kitchen counter we're not the plebs here, anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:22:00 2017 No.9017579 >>9017477 >>using cayenne for mayonnaise

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:30:05 2017 No.9017613 >>9017579 If your mayonnaise recipe doesn't look like this >egg yolk >white wine vinegar >neutral oil >cayenne >salt >dijon mustard Then you are making mayo wrong

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:31:59 2017 No.9017622 >>9017613 >making mayo at all store bought is just as good

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:33:40 2017 No.9017629 File: 31 KB, 475x295, fucking gross.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017622 >store bought mayo

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:34:52 2017 No.9017632 >>9017564 only if your knife is dull. if you have a sharper knife, it won't make you cry as much

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:43:28 2017 No.9017661 >cooking a burger till its grey >substituting butter for oil

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 20:49:07 2017 No.9017676 >>9017525 >Using a steak knife to chop everything Lol my mom does that, no cutting board either,just holds everything in her fingers

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:01:40 2017 No.9017718 >>9017629 She's sad because some jerk put her perfectly good store-bought mayo in the toilet.

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:12:38 2017 No.9017748

People who make enchiladas with flour tortillas

Olives as a garnish for anything Mexican

Oil in the pasta water

Rinsing pasta once it's done

Not washing/cleaning as you go, so you're left with a huge fucking mess at the end that's a pile of everything that was used so far

"Here's my secret ingredient..."

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:13:31 2017 No.9017752
File: 20 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9017525
>grew up with gas stove, learned to cook on it etc.
>past 3 years have had a shitty glass top electric stove in my apartment
>reminded of how shitty my stove is every time i visit my parents and use theirs
>mfw moving to new apartment in august with gas stove

Soon, brothers, i will once again have tempurature control.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:16:18 2017 No.9017762 >>9017676 And are those still her original fingers?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:18:18 2017 No.9017772 >>9017404 This. If you get something like that, your hand is moving unreasonably slow

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:21:42 2017 No.9017784 >>9017748 Putting olives on Mexican food is the most flyover thing you can do. It's a sign that whatever recipe you're eating has reached the final stages of bastardization.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:22:45 2017 No.9017786 >>9017632 >as much why not do both?

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:27:39 2017 No.9017807
File: 77 KB, 300x305, 1291085246354.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9017748
>>9017784
>tfw live in Kentucky now
>grew up in CA
>buddy's wife is making "enchiladas" and invites me over
>flour tortillas, ground beef, canned red sauce, topped with monterey jack
>a gallon of sour cream and sliced black olives on top
>flour tortillas had transformed into a gooey, dough-y mush that is my texture kryptonite
>had to choke that abomination down with nothing but Coors to drink

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:29:20 2017 No.9017811 I just cracked an egg in the middle of my pan and burned my hand with scalding hot oil. Now my hand is really puffy and starting to bleed. :`(

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:31:57 2017 No.9017819 >>9017807 I've had California tacos, man. I can't imagine going from that to... what you had to eat.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:32:21 2017 No.9017822 >>9017811 You should sue OP for medical bills.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:32:41 2017 No.9017826 >>9017384 >doesn't know how to properly dissect the longissimus dorsi from the trapezius Fuckin meat plebs will never learn

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:37:34 2017 No.9017848

>>9017807
>a gallon of sour cream and sliced black olives on top
>flour tortillas had transformed into a gooey, dough-y mush that is my texture kryptonite
>
had to choke that abomination down with nothing but Coors to drink

EssentialMiddleClassSouthern™

My shit headed sister makes this garbage for her brood 3 times a week.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:41:27 2017 No.9017865 >>9017848 It's fucking terrible. It's pretty much like I'm living in a state full of Scalfanis. You know the garbage he and his guests cook? Everyone is like that here. >EssentialMiddleClassSouthern™ Couldn't be more accurate.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:44:04 2017 No.9017877 >>9017865 Sounds like Pennsylvania. Is there some kind of fucking bland belt?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:44:34 2017 No.9017878 >>9017384 Small cutting board Dishes in sink No food scale or thermometer No jars or other types of food storage containers

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:47:52 2017 No.9017890

I crack them in a bowl first then make sure the pan is nice and hot then slowly pour the whites in so it Cooks a bit and forms a nice bed for the yolk so it won't slip away and cause a mess, nice and easy to pick up and I can cover it easily with a lid to get the top covered with white but keep the yolk runny.

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:55:05 2017 No.9017917
File: 108 KB, 1000x1334, pkUUucY.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9017865
>Couldn't be more accurate

Father comes home from working in the coal mines. Brood swarms him with adoration yelling "Papa, Papa tell us your stories of the day! We love you and pray daily that we can harvest coal like three generations before us!!!".

"You're damn right children. God has blessed us with the co..". His voice trailing off. *Sniff, sniff*. Hon! Are those enchiladas I smell?????

Yes sweetie! Extra black olives! Just the way you like it!

[Father awww yisssss's middle class fancy internally and such]

We're losing an entire generation to this shit, gents... It makes my blood boil. These people lead such unexamined lives. Its fucking pitiful.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:55:21 2017 No.9017919 >not cracking your eggs into a cup and then pouring them into the pan Pleb detected

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 21:57:57 2017 No.9017928

>>9017919
>not cracking your eggs on the sharp corner of the range, pouring into a lightly buttered anodized aluminum pan and then gently scraping the whites off the top of the yolk with a fork in order to make the perfect sunny side up
Get the fuck out of here you cuck

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:00:38 2017 No.9017938 File: 55 KB, 335x299, 11954328091723.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017917

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:01:58 2017 No.9017940 >>9017917 >the father weighs 90lbs >the wife weighs 350lbs

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:04:49 2017 No.9017950 >>9017917 Jesus Christ here it is https://youtu.be/umGAa12UA2w?t=2m29s

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:05:55 2017 No.9017955 >not punching the egg to crack it open

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:06:55 2017 No.9017959 >>9017950 Why does Rotel even exist? Are there actually places in America where you can't buy fresh tomatoes/chilis?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:07:58 2017 No.9017961 >>9017955 >If you hit 2 eggs together, one of them will always break

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:08:49 2017 No.9017964 >>9017959 alaska

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:13:30 2017 No.9017981 >>9017752 Why not just buy a $500 gas stove? Is a cheap new one really not as good as a crappy electric?

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:16:19 2017 No.9017991

>>9017661
My ex girlfriend actually did that

>be me making chicken parm for dinner
>everything's prepped and going quite nicely
>place breaded chicken in oil and walk away for literally less than a minute to piss
>while washing hands smell something wrong
>ohshitnotthis.jpg
>come out to smoke...so much smoke
>fucking bitch added butter to the mix and set off the fire alarm
>chicken is ruined and all we settle on a dinner of roasted potatoes and vegetables
>her justification: "I thought the butter would add flavor, my grandma uses it all the time when she cooks"
>calmly (as calm as I can at this point) explain to her the concept of smoke points and why you never EVER use butter for frying

Definitely not the brightest bulb on the Hannukah tree

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:17:53 2017 No.9017997 >>9017955 Yes, the egg punch, one of my few mastered techniques.

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:17:55 2017 No.9017998

>>9017950
Jesus Christ. Using a kitchenaide with a paddle attachment to shred the chicken. heavy whipping crew poured over enchiladas before baking. 90 lb husband, 350 lb wife. Cross fit 4 to 5 times a week. What a fucking perfect snapshot of god damned middleclass america in 2017.

Atrocious

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:20:18 2017 No.9018012 So I was at a restaurant and they had Kobe beef so I wanted to try it. I had it done Well was I wrong to do this? It tasted like any other beef...

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:21:13 2017 No.9018015 >>9017950 I'm so broke and hungry right now, I'd gladly eat that and thank him for it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:23:16 2017 No.9018023 >>9017401 literally me. Cayenne is the best senpai.

Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:29:42 2017 No.9018039

>>9018012
>I had it done Well was I wrong to do this?
Not wrong.The marbling is why it would still be juicy. Probably make the chef aggravated since you'd lose so much fat to the lengthy heating time, like losing mass in your by the pound item that was so much fat.
>It tasted like any other beef...
Maybe it wasn't really kobe. But, the draw of kobe should be more about the mouthfeel of the fat, kind of the pork belly experience on the palate, and a beefy flavor if it was actual kobe. I think american wagyu just tastes like an ordinary steak myself. Unaged, not grass fed kind of flavors. If you want a different flavor get a dry aged or grass fed and see if you can detect it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:36:41 2017 No.9018060 >>9018039 Damn, my steak could have been so delicious...

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:53:48 2017 No.9018093 >>9017748 >People who make enchiladas with flour tortillas My local meхican restaurant calls those "burritos"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 22:56:41 2017 No.9018097 >>9018012 If it was actual Kobe, then you paid probably around $150 for high quality meat just to get it cooked in a way that you should only do with low quality meat.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:00:24 2017 No.9018102 >>9017449 Yeah chef loves it when every egg takes 4 minutes to cook on sunday brunch. Keep your pans hot idiot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:06:42 2017 No.9018112 >>9017512 If you cant cook an egg any style in a hot pan go back to r/culinary you hack

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:08:40 2017 No.9018116 >>9018097 Fuck me, why am i retarded Ah well, I'll get it right next time.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:12:13 2017 No.9018123 >>9017890 Plebe central. Does anyone here actually cook for a living or do you just regurgitate shit you see on buzzfeed? Yall are better than this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:16:28 2017 No.9018135 >>9017981 If you dont have a gas stove its because theres not a gas line to your house you absolute dumbfuck

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:17:31 2017 No.9018140 >>9017567 Am I on reddit?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:18:06 2017 No.9018142 >>9018140 yes

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:20:11 2017 No.9018147 >>9017964 >living in alaska and not growing your own food

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 5 23:55:26 2017 No.9018221 File: 67 KB, 900x900, cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne cayenne.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017401

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:19:25 2017 No.9018269 >>9018147 Do you have any idea how long growing seasons are in Alaska?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:29:24 2017 No.9018300 >>9017384 >not dumping eggs from a bowl

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:30:02 2017 No.9018303 >>9017807 >invited to have a meal with friends >bitch about it to lonely strangers on the internet >even had cheap beer too im so miserable youre actually a cunt.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:35:12 2017 No.9018315 >>9017991 >trusting a jew in the kitchen the oven probably triggered her ptsd

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:41:08 2017 No.9018330 >>9017613 >neutral oil >>white wine vinegar I think you meant to say soybean oil and apple cider vinegar

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:47:50 2017 No.9018342 i need to get a new skillet mine always come out rubbery crispy but edible

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:52:28 2017 No.9018349 >>9018012 There are Litteraly only two places in America you can get it. If your not in Japan, or one of those restraunts they can legally serve you cow anus and call it kobe. Kobe beef is supposed to be overpowering,

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:54:11 2017 No.9018355 >>9018330 Maybe if you love incredibly strong flavors pulling the focus from the main dish to the condiment sure

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 00:56:17 2017 No.9018361 >>9018349 Oh, then it was just shit beef, I feel better about getting it well done then, I thought I wasted a piece of beef.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:15:21 2017 No.9018401 >>9017567 >>9017525 What's wrong with electric stoves?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:27:21 2017 No.9018432 >>9017748 Nothing wrong with rinsing the pasta when it's done. You're not always going to toss it in fucking sauce and if you don't rinse the excess starch off it it will stick you stupid fuck.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:32:26 2017 No.9018444 >>9018432 speak for yourself buddy I've never not tossed pasta in sauce post cooking Never commercially and never at home

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:37:51 2017 No.9018454

>>9018432
>>9018444
I know that some Japanese people prefer to rinse their pasta because they serve sauce on the side, and dip each bit of pasta into the sauce. I guess they do this to get the perfect amount of sauce with each bite? And it's okay to rinse for pasta salads, because you don't want the extra starch thickening the dressing or making the pasta stick.

But other than that, the extra starch helps other sauces adhere to the pasta better and it's unnecessary to rinse it. Just toss it with sauce before it cools down and gets stuck together. You shouldn't be rinsing your pasta every time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:40:20 2017 No.9018461 >>9018401 lack of instantaneous temperature control.

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:46:19 2017 No.9018469

>not toasting rice
>not owning a sharpening tool for knives
>adding oil to the pasta water
>seasoning steak
>eating chicken breast
>burning shit on the grill
>Hard boiling eggs to the point the yolk is chalky and not shocking them in ice water
>only 5 spice in the rack

Also there is nothing wrong with an electric stove. It's a consistent heat. Yes gas has it's advantages, but only an idiot can't cook on an electric stove.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 01:54:05 2017 No.9018481 >>9017807 Flour tortillas in anything but a burrito is a damn shame.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 02:00:57 2017 No.9018493 >>9017676 How many fingers does she have?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 02:02:24 2017 No.9018496 >>9018461 You can just take your pan off the heat anytime, just like you can do with a gas stove. And a really powerful induction top will heat your pan faster than gas can, unless you are using one of those jet engine Chinese wok burners.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 02:08:20 2017 No.9018506 >>9018496 This faggot actually knows what hes talking about

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 03:02:10 2017 No.9018581 >>9017401 pls dont bully Chef John

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 05:46:31 2017 No.9018815 >>9017502 Stop cooking.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 06:07:38 2017 No.9018839 >>9017676 this why are moms against cutting boards

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 06:35:45 2017 No.9018867 >>9018839 Because they do the dishes and are lazy to scrub boards after for "just one carrot". Untill you sharpen her knife and she cuts apple of her finger off

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 06:46:01 2017 No.9018878 >>9017564 This. >pro tip

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 07:39:12 2017 No.9018965 >>9018867 >Untill you sharpen her knife and she cuts apple of her finger off This is why my mom lets her knives stay dull. Dad sharpened all of them once like 20 years ago and within a week, we were all at the E.R. because my mom needed stitches.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 07:47:37 2017 No.9018986 >>9017384 Posting threads on /ck/

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 09:32:30 2017 No.9019158 >>9018140 Yes

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 09:45:06 2017 No.9019175

>>9018965
No, no, don't do that. You're much more likely to hurt yourself with a dull knife than a sharp one. If it can still cut a carrot it can cut you, and you're more likely to lose control of it when you need to force it through that carrot.

Your mom is suicidal, you need to try and get her some help.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 10:15:08 2017 No.9019219 >>9018330 >soybean oil kill yourself

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 10:21:57 2017 No.9019233 >>9017401 I hope Chef John pocket sands you with cayenne.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 10:28:21 2017 No.9019244 >>9017384 what kind of gay ass meme pan is that?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 11:23:18 2017 No.9019350 File: 1.86 MB, 640x360, TASTY.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017950

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 11:27:56 2017 No.9019366 >>9019244 Made of 90% recycled 1980's floor tiling

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 11:39:48 2017 No.9019399 >>9019350 >>9019350 why would anyone eat that?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 11:53:58 2017 No.9019430 >>9019350 Grim.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 11:56:12 2017 No.9019433 >>9018986 Beat me to it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:14:14 2017 No.9019469 >>9019366 60s asbestos touch

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:21:09 2017 No.9019482 >>9017998 Jesus that was the wife? The one that's supposedly a health freak?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:33:05 2017 No.9019510 File: 5 KB, 300x225, srs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9019350 >cheese >one bag dude.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:33:42 2017 No.9019512 >>9018315 >the oven probably triggered her ptsd Is this a ylyl thread now?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:35:36 2017 No.9019518 >>9019510 poor little sharkie probably is all alone in the world and has no one to talk to.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:35:40 2017 No.9019520 File: 160 KB, 1000x750, 1420244327627.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9019510 Yeah, I gotta say I have never seen a single bag of shredded cheese that size here in DK. And then they add a second one. Fuck!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:41:26 2017 No.9019540 >>9017613 Mayo is the condiment of poor inbred hillbillies. Ranch is its retarded brother.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:44:37 2017 No.9019557 File: 2.96 MB, 400x169, uhhhhh.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017384 >"Here's my secret ingredient..." B...but allspice is my secret ingredient for steak seasoning...

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:50:18 2017 No.9019574 >>9018469 >eating chicken breast Wut

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 12:59:01 2017 No.9019602 >>9019520 i want to fuck those cheesy titties and nut on her face and hair

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:21:23 2017 No.9019705 >>9019350 >someone, somewhere, has learned how to fuck up with tortilla chips of all things Almonds: activated!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:23:49 2017 No.9019710 File: 2.91 MB, 456x574, unhinged cook2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9019705 the reason must be >crispy chips are stabbing my gums

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:36:42 2017 No.9019749 >>9017950 If I liked texmex, I think this would be a solid recipe. atk-tier

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:40:59 2017 No.9019770 >>9018140 childhood is preferring 4chan. adulthood is realizing reddit is a much more productive segment of the internet.

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:45:59 2017 No.9019787

poor knife skills of any kind

putting shit in a cold pan, or adding oil before the pan has heated up

no mise, just randomly grabbing shit and throwing it at their food as quickly as possible during cooking

ignores recipes, thinks it's a waste of time, always fucks up meals

overuse of certain herbs or spices, like rosemary or cayenne

not setting timers when they first start doing a dish then fucking it up

this is just a few of the things I notice from my roomates, there is a lot more you can notice as a professional cook that will infuriate you

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:48:49 2017 No.9019794 File: 39 KB, 1050x485, 2017-02-18-01-28-56-kemono11.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9019787 >using timers >not having a general idea of what a recipe might entail just due to experience

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:49:38 2017 No.9019797 >>9019787 I bet your Reddit spacing annoys your room mates more.

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 13:52:38 2017 No.9019806

>>9019794
an experienced cook who hasn't done a recipe before or that type of dish before will follow the recipe and timelines in order to understand what the recipe is so it can either be changed or suited to tastes, someone who just assumes they know exactly how to make something before making it, unless they are literally a professional chef who has cooked thousands of different dishes, is going to inevitably fuck it up. not using timers is just for people who have too much ego, like car mechanics who don't use gloves or people who get horrible cuts and burns and stay cooking on the line. not that I can't cook with timers, I do it every day at work hundreds of times, sorry for the rant
>>9019797
easier to read than green text honestly.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 14:01:34 2017 No.9019840 >>9019794 Don't shit on people for not having experience. But I do agree that timers are the wrong way to get it. Trial-and-error is much better.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 14:08:06 2017 No.9019871 >>9017449 most Italians add a pinch of sugar to cut the acidity, fuck off

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 14:09:16 2017 No.9019876 >>9019770 Reddit is nonproductive by design, that is inherent in an aggregator. Reddit exists to enable lazy people to passively consume content, typically content that originates elsewhere.

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 14:13:38 2017 No.9019897

>>9019794
>Can't softboil eggs
>They literally never ever work
>Same heat, same amount of water, same everything
>Some days after 6 minutes they're solid, some days the whites aren't even done and they leak when cracked
>Try every single amount of time suggested to me with everyone calling me retarded
>Finally buy an egg timer to use
>My softboiled eggs under the same heat take anywhere from 2 minutes to 12 for the same consistency
Maybe I am just dumb but god I needed a timer.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 14:16:21 2017 No.9019913 >>9019787 Why is is it bad to put oil into the pan before the pan is hot? I was under the impression that heating up a totally empty pan was bad for it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 14:18:25 2017 No.9019923 >>9019806 I Totally Agreee This Is So Much Better Formatting

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 15:12:17 2017 No.9020155

What's so bad about oil in pasta water? In my exp it helps spices stick and keeps the noodles loose after storing them in the fridge for future meals, and you can't even taste it unless you use a fuckton for some raisin.
I'm nowhere near a pro, but why do some of you hate this?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 16:02:57 2017 No.9020402 >>9019913 i was wondering this too. i work sautee at a restaurant and was taught to heat the oil with the pan. i don't always do it but usually do

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 16:05:43 2017 No.9020405

>>9020155
>What's so bad about oil in pasta water?

It's counterproductive. If the noodles get oily then the sauce won't stick to them properly. It also creates a fire hazard if the pot were to boil over.

>>after storing them in the fridge
FFS cook your noodles fresh. Or sauce them prior to storing in the fridge.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 16:13:13 2017 No.9020437 >>9017525 honestly, no one throws a noodle at the wall unless he/she is joking. anyone saying differently is a liar

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 16:29:28 2017 No.9020494 >>9018135 It's okay just dump a gallon of gas on it, the advanced algorithms will help it absorb the gas and use it just like normal.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 17:00:54 2017 No.9020582 Using seasoning other than salt and pepper, either a complete subhuman pleb or an ethnic (same thing really)

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 17:05:17 2017 No.9020602 >>9019871 Here in Burgerland, there are a lot of mongoloids who make it very sweet, like a disgusting tomato dessert.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 18:31:20 2017 No.9020967 >>9020155 The starch after draining the noodles is what helps the sauce stick to them, covering them in oil will do nothing but make it slip off. Adding oil to pasta water is a moronic thing to do, on so many levels.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 18:49:49 2017 No.9021032 >not busting you egg yolk when frying an egg. LOL none of you have ascended.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 19:08:53 2017 No.9021080 >>9021032 I always bust it so that there's more of a pleasant balance between the flavor of the yolk and the blandness of the white. Not that I mix them completely evenly or anything.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 19:26:06 2017 No.9021125 >not punching your eggs

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 20:50:47 2017 No.9021390 >>9019871 No we fucking don't you American shit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 20:56:01 2017 No.9021399 >>9021390 Italian here. I can confirm this guy is full of shit. Tons of Italians toss sugar into their sauce.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 20:58:09 2017 No.9021401 >>9017502 >You guys don't like seasoning salt? It's categorically delicious. It has its uses (I use it like salt if someone made some bland food) but it doesn't belong on a steak.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:00:01 2017 No.9021406 >>9021399 This. They dump half of the bag in.

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:05:19 2017 No.9021417

>>9020402
It is generally accepted that it is faster to heat the pan dry then heat the oil in the now hot pan. The difference is not much but seconds count on a busy sautee station. Also...when busy it is common set up empty pans on hot burners just waiting to fire an order. To oil the pan early now requires too much unnecessary attention to prevent smoking. For the volume and pace of home cooking it really doesnt matter.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:05:48 2017 No.9021419 >>9017632 People actually cry when cutting onions? I always just thought that was a TV myth. Never once have I had a problem with it when cutting onions.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:07:16 2017 No.9021423 >>9021419 I was this way until I switched from contact lenses to glasses Now I have to wash my face every 20 or so onions or else I go blind from the tears

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:07:43 2017 No.9021425

>>9021399
No we fucking don't. That's why you add the fucking vegetables and the olive oil to the pasta sauce (carrots is most common, although I've seen peas and corn in Napoli).

You fat American ''''Italians'''' don't know what the fuck you're talking about. When using fresh tomato there's nearly no acidity after making the sauce, even good quality fresh tomato there is little acidity to cut.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:10:46 2017 No.9021433 >>9021406 That's absolute bullshit you're pulling out your ass. >>9021425 *good quality canned tomato

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:11:05 2017 No.9021434

From various flatmates and things I've learned
>Crowding the pan
>Lack of variety / no desire to learn to cook new things
>Metal utensils in non stick
>Jarred sauces, to a degree. I don't care if you want to buy a curry sauce or pesto but you can make tomato sauce so fucking easily
>Buying ground spices
>Poor planning followed by ridiculous ingredient substitution
>Lack of patience with softening veg or simmering
>Not knowing the difference between bell peppers and how to use each one
>Throwing stuff out based on useby date and not visually inspecting
>Bottled lemon or lime juice
>Drowning everything in nandos sauce

There's probably more but I'm becoming upset

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:11:20 2017 No.9021437 >>9021425 Both of the posts are bullshit Sometimes veggies don't add enough sweetness to the sauce In that case a bit of syrup, honey, or sugar is added. t. sicilian

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:13:00 2017 No.9021447 >>9017991 Tell her you're not supposed to have butter with meat anyway, it's dairy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:15:55 2017 No.9021457 I hear italians fuck little boys, please confirm or deny (confirm).

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:19:22 2017 No.9021467 >>9017512 OOHH YEA WELL MAYBE SOME PEOPLE LIKE THERE EGGS WITH THE A CRISPY PREIMIETER TO GO EITHER A SOFT YOLK YOU FUCK MAYBE THEY LIKE VARIETY IN THEIR EGGS AND DON'T DECIDED HOW ONE SHOULD BE COOKED EVER I BET YOUR EGGS TASTE LIKE SHIIIIIIIIIT!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:22:25 2017 No.9021476 File: 84 KB, 600x600, GaySpaghettiChef.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9021457

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:29:44 2017 No.9021496 >>9019923 Phonefag detected

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:40:28 2017 No.9021545 >>9021437 Use better tomatoes and caramelize your onions, only use a bit of sugar if the tomatoes you are using are shit and you suck at cooking onions t.Pavian Lombardian

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:40:53 2017 No.9021548 >>9021434 >Buying ground spices >Bottled lemon or lime juice If youre poor enough that you have to share rent with someone else, these are perfectly acceptable

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 21:57:11 2017 No.9021582 Those that one 400lb youtube lady whose husband cuts out her heavy breathing?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:09:32 2017 No.9021614 If you guys are such gurus in cooking, then where can I start?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:16:13 2017 No.9021628 >>9021614 In the kitchen

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:21:55 2017 No.9021641 >>9017748 > People who make enchiladas with flour tortillas > Olives as a garnish for anything Mexican Spic detected. That said, you're right. I still like Kalamata olives on my tacos when I don't have salsa though.

Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:27:55 2017 No.9021655

>>9019871
> most Italians add a pinch of sugar to cut the acidity, fuck off

That's a blatant lie. We do not you fucking American.

>>9021399

Real Italian here, this is obviously an America LARP'ing. We don't do this American shit of lacing every food you eat with sugar/salt. It just ruins the natural taste of the food.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:32:09 2017 No.9021669 >>9021423 >20 or so onions Do you work in a kitchen or something? Why are you cutting so many onions?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:33:50 2017 No.9021673 >>9021669 I have to julienne/dice about 150-200lbs of onions per week for various dishes I do in fact work in not one but two kitchens

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:37:50 2017 No.9021681 >>9017950 >"my wife is a bit of a health nut"

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 6 22:44:43 2017 No.9021699 >>9021655 Nobody cares about your stupid sugar tomato horseshit FUCKING kill yourself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 00:28:39 2017 No.9021971 >>9021673 Oh anon, I'm so sorry. I used to have to do only about 1/4 that and very thoroughly had a bad time.

Anonymous Wed Jun 7 00:31:52 2017 No.9021979

>>9021971
It's not too bad since I got a new blade that is up for the heavy volume
I go through an entire day's onion prep in no time at all but it's definitely the most painful part of the day
It's pretty fun showing off to the new prep cooks how fast I can tear through onions since It's practically second nature now.

Anonymous Wed Jun 7 00:35:38 2017 No.9021990

>>9017564
>splitting the root hurts the eyes worse
Sounds like a myth. No offense anon but the liquid that causes the irritation to your eyes is all throughout the onion. Why would splitting the root make any significant difference in the amount of eye irritation?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 00:38:14 2017 No.9022007 >>9017401 Chef John is not for bullying

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 00:40:06 2017 No.9022014 >>9018147 >getting fresh veggies for one week out of the year.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 00:50:34 2017 No.9022048 >>9019574 >taking the bait >me, taking the reverse bait

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 05:08:52 2017 No.9022592 I feel so attacked right now

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 05:17:24 2017 No.9022610 >>9018506 No he doesn't you just agree because you have an electric stove and he made you feel better about your shit cooking apparatus. Cunt

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 05:44:51 2017 No.9022653 >>9021990 Why not get an onion and try it. I cried everytime I cut onions until I was told about the root, haven't cried since.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 05:52:34 2017 No.9022661 >>9017401 pls, dont bully the John

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 06:03:42 2017 No.9022677 File: 30 KB, 480x362, 1492559158863.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017384 >not placing your egg on the counter then gently cracking it with your pan before you put your egg in said pan ISHYGDDT

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 06:08:20 2017 No.9022683 File: 66 KB, 1149x747, Screenshot_20170325-204933-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017950 >block and a half of cream cheese oh lordy

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 06:10:28 2017 No.9022685 >>9017384 >not creating a super complex rube-goldberg machine that will crack your egg into your pan for you

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 08:29:37 2017 No.9022895 >>9021437 Your American

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:13:02 2017 No.9022943 >>9017748 even ramsay puts oil in the pasta water you spic

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:21:59 2017 No.9022954 >>9022653 I had to cut a few large bags of onions, leaving the root intact, having a sharp knife and keeping your face as far away from the cutting board makes it pretty easy.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:24:33 2017 No.9022959 >>9018469 If you don't put salt and pepper on a steak, you're doing it wrong and shouldn't be wasting money on steak.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:27:40 2017 No.9022967 >>9017384 >cracking eggs anywhere near the pan In the end, OP was a retard. Bless his soul.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:29:58 2017 No.9022970 >>9017401 Chipotle>>cayenne

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:35:28 2017 No.9022979 >>9019482 No that is ja/ck/s land whale of a wife.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:36:46 2017 No.9022981 >>9019350 >milk >2 tbspn There's no way in hell that was 2 tablespoons

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 09:49:37 2017 No.9023006 >>9017940 In the southeast the higher the weight of husband:weight of wife ratio, the more wealth

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 7 19:11:20 2017 No.9024594 >>9017752 Just buy a chinky butane stove

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 00:11:29 2017 No.9025562 >>9017555 shhh, shhh, sweetie. that's only for people who buy a house, not "rent" their mom's basement

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 14:09:18 2017 No.9027242 Posting here

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 14:52:57 2017 No.9027363 Cooking eggs in anything that isnt ceramic

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 15:21:53 2017 No.9027454 >>9017525 >Putting white noodles down first then a glop of red sauce on top I don't make pasta often whats wrong with this?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 15:32:24 2017 No.9027489 File: 13 KB, 236x282, 1486140536775.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017384 >try to do the cool one handed egg cracking thing >crush it and it goes fucking everywhere

Anonymous Thu Jun 8 19:05:48 2017 No.9028227

>>9022610
Hi, I'm not the guy you were talking to, but I have used gas stoves all my life and just moved into an apt with an electric stove (was kind of disappointed when I saw; I didn't even think to ask) and I can confirm that what this person is saying
>>9018496
is true about how fast it can heat the pan. It can get really hot really, really quickly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 19:42:41 2017 No.9028336 >>9017401 You must love bland foods... Your post tastes like toast. Only a main man would use cayenne.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 19:45:46 2017 No.9028347 >>9017613 You forgot the crushed shallots and garlic there mate. Thank me later.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 19:49:05 2017 No.9028356 >>9027454 I'm guessing OP wants you to put the sauce in the pan then put the noodles on top and get an even coating by swish-swashin it around.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 19:56:27 2017 No.9028378 >>9018481 >what are sincronizadas

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 20:01:56 2017 No.9028392 >>9021434 >Bottled lemon or lime juice Nothing wrong with this. It's cheaper, quicker, and you can't taste the difference. I've done taste tests.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 20:04:43 2017 No.9028401 >>9028336 >not knowing toast can be great with good bread and a lightly tanned

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 20:10:51 2017 No.9028415 >>9017384 >He doesn't make his own pasta from scratch >He uses store-bought spices >He uses non-stick pans >He coats his pan with butter, not olive oil >She >He doesn't own an egg guage >He uses a whisk >He owns a microwave >He doesn't press his steaks

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 22:11:52 2017 No.9028819 >>9019923 I Think Youre Missing The Point.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 22:37:05 2017 No.9028877 >>9028415 >He doesn't mine his own copper ore to smelt and hammer into rustic pots and pans >He doesn't forage obsidian to fashion crude but sharp knives >He doesn't weave nets from body hair to catch wild sardines

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 8 22:57:10 2017 No.9028922 File: 2.87 MB, 640x360, 1485975080932.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017676 Is this your mom?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 01:34:00 2017 No.9029410 >>9017998 I'm not gonna lie the paddle to shred chicken is a pretty good idea. I might have to try it one day.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 04:20:10 2017 No.9029932 >>9028401 >not knowing I was trying to emulate Chef John's word play

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 04:35:12 2017 No.9029964 >>9017748 >Not washing/cleaning as you go, so you're left with a huge fucking mess at the end that's a pile of everything that was used so far Every time

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 04:35:36 2017 No.9029969 >>9028336 You must love every single dish tasting like fucking cayenne. It's just as bad as liking bland shit.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 04:56:23 2017 No.9030025 >>9028392 >and you can't taste the difference. Really depends on the brand, certain ones use sulfur based compounds to make it last longer, which can both make it taste funky and can make your perspiration smell like death

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 04:58:28 2017 No.9030031 File: 434 KB, 669x379, 670x420_PR HOSTAR_3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017525 >Throwing a noodle at the wall to see if its done what?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 05:00:14 2017 No.9030037 File: 156 KB, 1280x720, 1467063105298.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017676

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 05:01:22 2017 No.9030040 >>9017807 >gets invited to a meal with friends >bitches about it anyways

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 05:02:34 2017 No.9030046 >>9018469 >eating chicken breast what the fuck do you have against massive gainz

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:06:10 2017 No.9030783 >>9028922 What the fuck, this bothered me in a level that the bloodiest gore video will never compare

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:08:25 2017 No.9030789 File: 8 KB, 184x208, jon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9017401 Seriously just fuck off, you aren't welcome here and nobody likes you.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:18:57 2017 No.9030821 >>9017502 Italian decendent here We crucify sugary fags like you

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:20:33 2017 No.9030826 >>9018123 >yall found the hick.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:41:22 2017 No.9030883 >>9017676 hows it going leeiscool1?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:42:21 2017 No.9030888 >>9030789 t. chef john

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:43:27 2017 No.9030893 >>9019540 I mean, you're objectively wrong on the first front. But ranch is trash so I'll give you a pass.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:45:21 2017 No.9030899 >>9019705 JACK is not just SOMEONE

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 12:51:07 2017 No.9030921 File: 2.89 MB, 640x352, 1485975148071.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9030783

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 13:52:59 2017 No.9031109 >>9030921 The buildup before the hypothetical accident is killing me. I don't usually cringe as a reaction, or even use cringe as a word much, but I gotta tell you, these videos are pushing my buttons

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 9 13:58:29 2017 No.9031123 >>9031109 Now with sound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0bAc6mc5GM#t=115

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking