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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 1.02 MB, 1344x546, jackvsjohn.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8980460 No.8980460[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Who would win in a fight, Chef Jack or Chef John?
No rules, they can use whatever they have at their disposal. Last man standing is the winner.

>> No.8980472

Jack would find a way to cut himself or ingest salmonella before even starting

>> No.8980483

>>8980460
Sauce Whale vs Food Whale
Interesting matchup.

>> No.8980487
File: 345 KB, 498x375, 1453096300518.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8980487

Jack would probably get a hitman to take him out in exchange for a plug on his YouTube channel

>> No.8980488

>>8980460
Jack's cooking has probably built him enough tolerance to safely eat radioactive waste

>> No.8980492

Chef John would talk Jack down, befriend him, give him some friendly cooking tips, and invite him over for a nice meal. Then poison him.

Chef John is a stone cold killer.

>> No.8980577

>>8980492
This

>> No.8980598

>>8980492
A little while later, Chef John passes away in the first recorded case of Super Botulism. It is still unknown where he got it from.

>> No.8980602

>>8980492
3rding this. The last thing Jack would remember would be the faint taste of bitter almonds and cayenne.

>> No.8980606

>>8980460
calling either of them a chef voids this thread.

>> No.8980607

Not even an ogre like Jack could survive the ol' tappa tappa.

>> No.8980778

>John scrapes Jack's charred body with a fork to audibly prove its crispiness

>> No.8980784

>>8980607
>>8980778
topkek

>> No.8980790

That's right you are the Suge Knight of this deadly fight

>> No.8981048

Chef John always has a fistful of the ol' pocket cayenne to blind opponents with.

>> No.8981062

>>8980460
i like how the thumbnail makes jack look like a nigger

>> No.8981201

A fuck up vs a chef who has professionally sharpened knives
I wonder who

>> No.8981414

>>8981062
its that weird hot-dog skin condition fieri has too.

>> No.8981615

>>8980602
kek

>> No.8981621

Ja/ck/ would accidentally set himself on fire, but just enough to brown the outside while leaving the inside completely raw.

>> No.8981640

Jack would start crying out of nowhere and lose

>> No.8981650
File: 53 KB, 483x441, 1383631287170.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8981650

>Chef John grabs Jack by the ankles and drags him around the outside

around the outside

around the outside

>> No.8981651

jack will strangle john until his nose bleeds

>> No.8981670

after all, you are the Dave of your shallow grave.

>> No.8981681

>>8981670
you're the Jack of the knife in your back

>> No.8981686

>>8981651
and then napalm him

>> No.8981692

>>8981681
You ARE the Joel Plaskett of your closed casket.

>> No.8981807

>>8981048
Jokes on you. Jack use cayenne to treat his pinkeye.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Era4tENWn4Q