/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.8872920]

Cringe eating thread: post embarassing stories on they way you ate food. I'll start.

When I was in elementary school, they serve plastic bottles of milk along with some snacks early in the day. I would always drink my chocolate milk halfway, then jam a donut stick inside of the milk bottle and shake it. Lastly, i would drink the rest of the milk and try to pull the soggy donut stick out of the milk with my tonge.

I stopped after the weird looks that I've been getting

[Anonymous No.8872928]

The first time I ordered and actually ate 5 McChickens from McDonalds. I felt really bad about it.

[Anonymous No.8872938]

i would eat food like a lizard by touching it to my tongue then dragging it in quickly or just eating it off the side of the plate sans utensils and only my mouth and id be derided for it by teachers in school

[Anonymous No.8872942]

>cringe
fuck off back to /mlpol/, redditor

[Anonymous No.8872980]

>>8872920
I used to nibble off the edges of a McDonalds chicken nugget, then eat the two faces of skin, then eat the plain nugget.

[Anonymous No.8873004]

I eat alone in restaurants.

[Anonymous No.8873010]

>>8872942
I saw this thread a while ago on /ck/. I thought it was interesting so I made another one.

[Anonymous No.8873016]

>>8873004
I respect that.

Isn't it boring though? Do you blatantly watch people?

[Anonymous No.8873024]

Growing up, I would melt bars of chocolate on the hot, metallic base of my lava lamp and then wipe the chocolate onto my penis. I would then watch cartoons while wiping the cholocate off my penis and eating it that way. I did this during a scooby doo marathon one halloween and ended up burning my penis a little bit. The next day I had a doctor's appointment for something unrelated and the doctor noticed red burn marks on my penis. I told him what I did and the same day my parents took my lava lamp away and never mentioned it again.

[Anonymous No.8873031]

>>8873016
I blatantly hide in the corner so no one will see me eating alone.

[Anonymous No.8873038]

>>8873004
>eat alone in a resturant
>some roastie sits with me, acting overly friendly in the impression that I might be a school shooter

I dont mind being alone in a resturant. But now that people catch a trend that antisocial people = future murderer, it just gets annoying.

[Anonymous No.8873041]

>>8873024

[Anonymous No.8873046]

>>8872938
I do this with popcorn to keep my hands free of butter.

[Anonymous No.8873051]

>>8872980
I used to do this too, and shit like that when eating alone for a long time.
Like taco bell quesadillas for instance, i'd rip off a triangle, open it, eat all the steak inside one piece at a time, scrape the cheese off and eat that, then eat the tortilla. Probably the most autistic thing i've done
Something I STILL do is lick the flavoring off pringles before eating the chip

[Anonymous No.8873061]

>>8873038
I eat alone at restaurants and no one ever approaches me. Try not looking autistic and retarded and they won't talk to you like that anon.

[Anonymous No.8873151]

>>8873061
>Try not looking autistic and retarded
Any tips?

[Anonymous No.8873178]

>>8872920

>I've been getting
>present-tense

So...you're in primary school?

Neat.

[Anonymous No.8873195]

So this one time, I got served gazpacho soup, and I had no idea it was supposed to be eaten cold. I chewed out the kitchen staff and demanded they reheat it.

They did so, and I sat there like a fool eating my piping hot gazpacho soup...

[Anonymous No.8873274]

In grade school, in the eighties, before everyone went lawsuit happy and everything became clinical, sanitized, and individually prepackaged...

Condiments were sitting on a little table after the lunch line and the ketchup and the mustard were in those plastic squeeze bottles with the sharp pointy tips.

So you would get your food and then stop at the table and put on your pickle relish or mustard or whatever other things you put onto your plate, then you would go sit and eat.

I loved the days when they had tater tots.

I would stand at that little table and take each tater tot, cram the ketchup bottle into one side and inject a tiny drop inside, then fip it over and do the same with the mustard on the other side.

This was not a fast process, but I gave no fucks about the line behind me.

Every tater tot on my plate each meticulously injected with the perfect amount of ketchup and mustard, a little yellow dot on one side and a little red dot on the other the only clue that such a perfect balance was being contained in the crispy little drum of potato goodness.

[Anonymous No.8873307]

>>8873031
Yeah I am very paranoid and always sit in a place where I can either get a good view of everyone in the place or where no one is able to see me.

[Anonymous No.8873310]

>>8873274
Fuck you for being a line hogging cunt. Sounds tasty though

[Anonymous No.8873365]

>>8873195
Reminds me of the jerk restaurant scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP51U_QBx48
TWO BOOBS! bernadette peters has two great boobs in this scene

I don't do anything strange with food though

[Anonymous No.8873493]

>>8873004
So?

I'm suprised there's still some sort of stigma about eating out alone, just don't go anywhere super high end.

Eating by yourself is great

>no babby palate friends embarassing you by ordering chicken fingers and fries
>server's attention focused soley on you
>get to enjoy a good meal in relative peace as you read your phone or maybe a bit of the paper without having to worry about making conversation, cooking, cleaning, etc.

It's nice if you're not a sperg.

[Anonymous No.8873578]

>>8873046
Wanna be popcorn-buddies?

[Anonymous No.8873835]

>>8873195
Smeghead

[Anonymous No.8875433]

>>8872920
I eat fish with fork and knife. I also get akward stares while i filet it while everybody else is wolfing it down with their hands. White trash i call them

[Anonymous No.8875436]

>>8873493
>everything I don't like is autism

Are you fucking daft? Do you actually believe us spergs go out with all their friends to eat?
Do you learn this shit on wikipedia and then proceed to spread your stupidity like a virus in good faith? I sure fucking hope not.

[Anonymous No.8875479]

i once ate 12 mcdoubles in one sitting.

[Anonymous No.8876183]

>>8873835
I love you /ck

[Anonymous No.8876244]

>>8875436
>us spergs
???

[Anonymous No.8876391]

>>8876244
When addressing or speaking about a group of people the speakers opinion tends to be given more weight if he claims to be a part of the group he is speaking about, even if that is not actually the case.

This minor psychological effect is widely known and commonly used, such as when local politicians claim to be working class or every time Obama said "My fellow Americans"

[Anonymous No.8876852]

My dad used to own a subway, and I would go there by myself and order sandwiches with triple meat and cheese.

[Anonymous No.8876889]

I ate lunch in the school bathrooms sometimes

[Anonymous No.8877206]

>>8876889
Is Sumirenko your favorite 2hu?

[Anonymous No.8877217]

>>8872920
>I've been
>been
underage b&

[Anonymous No.8877382]

>>8873178

>[Contraction] [Linking Verb] [Gerund]

What's the problem again?

[Anonymous No.8878721]

Apparently you're supposed to take off the wrappers for starburst. I didn't think they were wrappers for some reason. 23 and I was told how weird I was for it after doing it like that for 18 years. Am I autism or is everyone else autism for never telling me?

[Anonymous No.8878800]

I used to get piss drunk and stumble home, take off ll my clothes and put like a pound of mozzarella in between two slices of fresh Italian bread and pop it in the microwave and lay in bed and eat it kek shit was delish my dudes

[Anonymous No.8878807]

>>8873004
Why is this a meme? Unless it's a really nice romantic type place, no one gives a fuck.

[Anonymous No.8879343]

I eat tortillas with peanut butter.
At some point used mayo instead of butter.
Would ask for bread at a hispanic bread store, ask for "panocha" with "miel". Turns out it means pussy with honey.
Not cringe i guess. Im slowly picking up mexican snacks or foods. Man those tortillas. Make them homemade now.

[Anonymous No.8879364]

>>8873274
Nowadays that would be molecular gastronomy

[Anonymous No.8879371]

>>8879343
>I eat tortillas with peanut butter.

ITT: things every single person does

[Anonymous No.8879431]

bumping for the story of the anon that ordered his burger "normal"

[Anonymous No.8879434]

>>8873151
post pic?

[Anonymous No.8879438]

>>8876889
wish i was zun desu

[Anonymous No.8879523]

i used to eat hot cheetos and nacho cheese in middle school

[Anonymous No.8880254]

>>8873151
Confidence

[Anonymous No.8880271]

During the late 90's while I was in the elementary, classmates used to give me their yogurts since they hated it and I drank 7 of them in a manner of seconds.

[Anonymous No.8880281]

>>8876391
No, I am literally a sperg and think this guy is an asshat for claiming we like or deal with other humans.
We don't. We eat alone.

[Anonymous No.8881317]

i used to pour shredded cheese onto literally everything
i would get chips and do that
any kind of chips even cheetos

[Anonymous No.8881507]

>>8873024
So you were seeing the doctor for something unrelated and he still wanted to look at your dick? And the fact that he told your parents about it means he broke the Hippocratic oath too, in addition to being a paedophile?

Also I sincerely hope Scooby Doo on Zombie Island was part if the marathon. That film was the shit.

[Anonymous No.8881594]

>>8872980
Holy shit are you me? I do this with at least half the nuggets I get. Usually I'll try to put 4 on whatever sandwich I get with my meal.

[Anonymous No.8881608]

>extended family outing to brazilian steakhouse
>cousin orders milk

He's like an IRL McPoyle

[Anonymous No.8881623]

>>8873274

>hogging the condiments so you can inject each side of a tater tot with ketchup and mustard

[Anonymous No.8881647]

>>8872938
I did that and pretended I was Yoshi

My worst habit that continues to this day
>pizza
>scrape all cheese and toppings onto plate
>roll slice up
>bite middle of slice to make holes
>don't even unroll to inspect holes anymore, just eat slice rolled up
>after doing this with 2 slices, eat cheese+toppings pile

Luckily I can contain my autism enough to eat slices normally in public/with friends but alone it's my ritual

[Anonymous No.8881678]

>>8880271
When I was in junior high they had chocolate milk for a quarter

I wouldn't even get a meal sometimes, just 8 milks and chug that shit

[Anonymous No.8881722]

>at grandparents one day
>teenager at the time so super horny
>go into bathroom to have a quick wank
>notice Frube in my pocket (uk version of go-gurts)
>use Frube as lube to jerk off with (I'm uncut but had fapped a lot that day already so needed to try something new to get the blood flowing y'know?)
>somehow get yeast infection

Being a teenager is never easy

[Anonymous No.8881740]

>>8881608
>Steak
>Milk

Mirin bulk

[Anonymous No.8881745]

>>8872920
>FB_IMG
>thumbnail

[Anonymous No.8881755]

Op here.

I also remember how I used to take milk chugging so seriously, that I challenged the assistant principle in an autistic bout. That was the day that I lost the competition and my dignity

[Anonymous No.8881782]

>>8872920
>plastic bottles of milk
>donut sticks
What the fuck?

[Anonymous No.8881784]

>>8873151

[Anonymous No.8881907]

>>8880254
What's that anon

[Anonymous No.8881917]

>>8881782
Clearly ur not from the US anon

[Anonymous No.8881942]

>>8881917
I've lived in the US my whole life. I very rarely remember seeing milk in bottles at school. Mostly cartons. Seriously though I've never seen a doughnut stick. Did OP mean churros?

[Anonymous No.8881980]

>>8872928
I regularly get 10 McChickens. I started doing this years before it became a meme here.

[Anonymous No.8882000]

I masturbated on the school bus once. Not food related but it sort of fits here. I only did it so I could say I masturbated on the school bus, like if someone asked me where the weirdest place I masturbated was or something.

[Anonymous No.8882042]

So I'm a semi famous TV producer who is hugely successful with creating children's tv shows. I can't tell you who I am or what company I work for but I produce for a very major network which is a household name.

The reason I have to keep this all quiet is because I'm also kinda a big guy (for you), hence the browsing of /ck/ so my appetite can get me into trouble sometimes. I also a have a huge fetish for girls feet (I have actually snuck this into my work but nobody has figured it out yet haha) so when my stomach gets all a' rumblin' I have been known to spray whipped cream, gravy, ketchup, whatever I can find onto one of the actresses bare feet and lick it off.

I used to get away with playing it off as a joke in the early days, but now I'm more famous so I have to be more discreet and occasionally pay off potentially problematic witnesses in order to avoid lawsuits that would put an end to my little game.

Sorry I can't prove it to you guys but I have to keep up my little charade to keep everyone in the dark about my tomfoolery.

[Anonymous No.8882063]

>>8882042
Do you perhaps have a plan and an unmarked van?

[Anonymous No.8882076]

>>8882063
It's more like a trailer that stays at the studio (and where the deed is done nowadays) and yeah my plan is to continue getting away with it while slipping subliminal foot fetish material into kids tv shows

[Anonymous No.8882086]

>>8872920
I used to sneak cups of dog food into my room and eat them as a kid.

[Anonymous No.8882094]

>>8872920
>give friend bottle of hotsauce
>explain it is almost 1 million scovilles so be really fucking careful how much you use
>At some point and time his sister grabs it and completely ignores the warning label on it or the skeleton on the front
>lathers this shit all over some wings for her and her friends
>they all chomp into the wings
>all panicking after it kicks in
>crying one wipes their eye with the sauce beings to cry
>all try to drink soda (this only makes it worse)
>4 idiots running around crying yelling like maniacs
>get told it's my fault because I shouldn't give something so spicy like that out
>bottle of hot sauce empty and gone
>can't find it in stores anymore

[Anonymous No.8882104]

>>8882042
Nice false flag, faggot.

[Anonymous No.8882116]

>>8882104
I don't care what you think, it just makes it easier for me to do my thing without getting shit down. I get so much footpussy that if you guys don't believe me I don't give a shit.

[Anonymous No.8882153]

When i first got my license I went to burger king and got 9 dollar menu items and ate them all.

[Anonymous No.8882198]

>>8882094
>coking in a pub/motel/liquorstore small town combo
>tourist season
>some group of englishmen ordering hot wings every night
>we just use some franks shit
>one night they complain that the wings aren't hot enough
>oh rly?
>grab my own stash of hot sauce
>3 million scovilles
>slather those wings in it
>some cracked black pepper
>bit of lime juice
>they couldn't even eat one of them

[Anonymous No.8882253]

>>8882198
>Peurto Rican coworker
>"Aww man you americans don't know hot ehehehehe, man back in my home we have the hottest stuff ever man! Maybe one day I get my wife to make you some food"
>It's just fucking Valentine hot sauce 99c at the store and it is EVERYWHERE
>"Eh man what do you think spicy enough for you ehhehehe"
>Say it's okay but not really hot
>"Oh mister bigshot over here eh? lemme try some of your hot sauce I'll show you how we puerto ricans use hot sauce!"
>Well this isn't my hottest one I have but I like it since it doesn't kill the flavor and has tastes instead of just being hot (pic related)
>Roughly 700,000 scovilles IIRC
>loads up his meal with it
>chomps down (this hotsauce takes about 15-20 seconds for the flavor to actually kick in)
>"oh man this isn't hot at all man hehehe"
>it kicks in
>basically cries like a baby about the heat and doesn't come into work the next day due to "digestive issues"
>Get told I can't leave my hotsauce out on my desk anymore because it could be harmful to people
>The bottle literally states one of the things in it is the worlds hottest pepper
>mfw I have no face

[Anonymous No.8882292]

>>8872920
i used to roll cooked chocolate cookies into a compressed ball.

[Anonymous No.8882372]

>>8875433
get outta here egg

[Anonymous No.8882406]

>Be poor
>mom told me to fuck off and pack my own lunches when I got into school
>American cheese sandwich on bleach smelling bread
>Proceed to smash onto cafeteria table to pretend I had more food than I did and it makes it taste better (I swear)
>eat yogurt/pudding with hands because I was too beta to ask or get a spoon
>eat paper wrappers on cupcakes and proceeded to get lectured by a student's parent about eating paper in front of the whole grade
>just stop eating lunch by middle school
>Child Protective Services show up but at least they take me to a McDonald's
>proceed to eat several packets of mustard with meal while they ask me questions

[Anonymous No.8882467]

>>8877382

>I have been getting

Yes. I WAS correct in assuming OP is 12yo, like most other autists who drop their spaghetti doing basic things.

[Anonymous No.8882513]

Anyone else hates eating greasy stuffs with bare hands? I never understood why some people were so triggered by Trump doing this. I even eat pizza with fork and knife and disintegrate burgers to two buns with steak and salad before eating.

[Anonymous No.8883017]

>>8882042
Dan the man

[Anonymous No.8883103]

>>8879371
what? i must try

[Anonymous No.8883119]

>>8882198
This is the equivalent of curb stomping someone when they asked for a firm handshake.

[Anonymous No.8883131]

>>8873031
Bring a book, and then even judgemental people will stop caring about you being alone.

[Anonymous No.8883341]

>>8881722
>>somehow get yeast infection
You are literally putting bacterial cultures on your dick in the bathroom, why does this surprise you?

[Todd No.8883355]

>>8873195
Ok Rimmer

[Anonymous No.8883584]

Sometimes when Im being careless Ill put my elbows on the table.

[Anonymous No.8883617]

>>8883341
yeast is not bacteria

[Anonymous No.8883620]

>>8882198
>be English on holiday
>enjoying the vacation
>found a good spot to eat every night
>perfect wings, no reason to go anywhere else
>after a few nights they don't taste as spicy since me and the lads have gotten used to them
>politely ask the chef if he could add a touch more hot sauce than usual, since we'd become accustomed to the spice
>he takes it as a personal challenge and completely ruins a plate of wings that we paid for
>american hospitality

[Anonymous No.8883696]

>>8883584
<3

[Anonymous No.8883880]

Sorry if this is boring but whatever

>grow up always being told not to be wasteful with condiments
>mom used to scold my brother about dumping huge amounts of ketchup, syrup, etc. on his plate and most of it not getting used
>move out on my own, continue condiment austerity out of habit (and fear of both waste and weight gain)
>use only enough syrup to cover and flavour the pancakes, there's usually only a couple little sticky spots at the end as opposed to the pools of syrup I always see on other people's plates

>friend comes over from out of town, sleeps over
>I make pancakes for breakfast
>she puts a normal human amount of syrup on her pancakes instead of the buddhist-ascetic-monk amount I put on mine
>I stare at it in surprise, shocked that she would glop so much syrup on
>she sees me staring and is like "oh shit did I take too much?"
>suddenly realise I'm the one being weird, and explain my great-depression-era syrup habits
>breakfast proceeds normally

I still don't pour tons of syrup on, but I use more than I used to. I like having those little puddles to sop the last couple corners of pancake with.

[Anonymous No.8883896]

>>8882042
Stop forcing your disgusting fetish onto children you degenerate

[Anonymous No.8883922]

>>8881507
They just a quick peek at your dick to see if there's phimosis, a strong odor or anything else wrong. A young boy wouldn't tell the doctor something was wrong out of embarrassment. I got a boner when I was twelve when the 45yo 7/10 doctor looked at my peenie.

[Anonymous No.8883927]

>>8873051
I do that with doritos

[Anonymous No.8883934]

>>8883880
i just use a salt dish to hold my syrup or sauce

[Anonymous No.8883937]

>>8882042
Don't you have a kid to be raising, Craig?

[Anonymous No.8883939]

i'll post some pics of weird food i've made for my cousins to eat who are little kids. i really like to fuck with them when i babysit

[Anonymous No.8883946]

>>8881980
are you 400lbs?

[Anonymous No.8883948]

>>8883939

[Anonymous No.8883955]

>>8881678
>be 3rd grade
>they gave us chocolate milk tickets.
>could pay for however many you want
>used all my money for chocolate milk tickets
>started with 2, eventually 3 and 4, sometimes 5.
>started throwing up after lunch privately sometimes because of milk consumption
>people at table dared me to drink ten
>had to give other person 5 tix because lunch bitch wouldn't give me 10
>drink 10 choco milks over the course of 40 min lunchbreak
>can tell i won't make it to bathroom this time
>throw it all up over table
>liquids spreads and eventually finds it's way into every kids lap in my immediate radius
>pandemonium in the lunch room

Thankfully, I changed schools next year.

[Anonymous No.8883956]

I moved out an to a different part of the country at 15 and was terrified of using money since my parents didn't support me. Decided to only use one euro's worth on food a week and make it stretch. I could make it into a game so it wouldn't feel so shitty.
I bought two loafs of basic bread (that's a standard whole wheat loaf that has been made since the war, was supposed to be an affordable staple for poor people).
Those two loafs could give me 6 thick slices per day for 5 days or 4 and last the week. Sometimes I went all out and bought a 30 cent frozen vegetable bag. It was my Saturday treat.
Every time I went home to my parents I stole stuff from the fridge, and ended up eating port salut, gryere and brie on my poverty bread.

[Anonymous No.8883958]

>>8872980
I do this with kitkats/any rectangular chocolate coated layered candy

[Anonymous No.8883959]

>>8883948

[Anonymous No.8883960]

>>8881980
Nearly 4k calories.

[Anonymous No.8883961]

>>8883948
UGH! GROSS!


PETER PAN PEANUT BUTTER!? SICK!

[Anonymous No.8883964]

>>8883959

[Anonymous No.8883968]

>>8883880
Even as a child I autistically created game with myself where I would use the exact amount of ketchup needed for my meal.

I was so proud when I finished and there wasn't a speck of red on the plate.

[Anonymous No.8883978]

>>8883964

[Anonymous No.8883982]

>>8883978

[Anonymous No.8883986]

>>8883982

[Anonymous No.8883987]

>>8883986

[Anonymous No.8883989]

These aren't from the same camera and some are years old.

[Anonymous No.8883990]

>>8883987

[Anonymous No.8883992]

>>8883989
ha u caught me. i was just lying bc i wanted to post them and get some (You)s

[Anonymous No.8884043]

>>8882253
Hot sauce faggots all need to die

[Anonymous No.8884069]

Eating drive thru sushi with chopsticks, while driving.

[Anonymous No.8884130]

mixed equal parts milk and pepsi in my cup when I was a young boy. Asked my mom what to name the drink and all she said was "Yuck" so that's what I call it.

[Anonymous No.8884131]

>>8873274
I was born in 95 and we still had squirt bottles in the cafeteria in grade school. Quit acting like society in the 80s was any less retarded than it always has been you crusty cunt

[Anonymous No.8884153]

>>8881980
post belly

[Anonymous No.8884164]

>>8872920
I used to eat ketchup on everything. Pumpkin fritters, pickles and even grapes. Microwaved chocolate bars. Favorite plate for years was a frisbee.

[Anonymous No.8884171]

>>8883956
are you like a thousand years old or from romania or what

[Anonymous No.8884174]

>>8883964
>>8883986
>>8883992
go away reddit

[Anonymous No.8884178]

>>8884130
Forgot I did this as well. Still do from time to time. It's like a poor man's float.

[Anonymous No.8884180]

>>8872920
>be 13
>news says horse meat found in taco bell
>be in 8 different meds just out of looney bin for trying to stab mom
>have these weird glitches my head jerks and its legit out of the exorcists
>get mom to take me to taco bell
>start crying because i wanted her to eat horse meat
this feels like some weird dream i dont understand what the fuck was going on in my head
i loved my mom i wouldnt want to hurt her like that and the stabbing was cus i thought people were trying to kill me
i now regret it and it makes me wanna kill myself even more
It was like one of those weird dreams where you end up making out with danny devito in the middle of walmart and you wake up and are like why the fuck dream that except it wasnt a dream it was just a stupid autistic psychopath move

[Anonymous No.8884192]

>>8883964
Banana ketchup is a thing and probably pretty good
Ive had regular ketchup with fried plantains its fuckin great

[Anonymous No.8884347]

>>8884180
No offense
But you sound fucking dangerous and should be ina bug house
Like I wish you we're in all big house

[Anonymous No.8884402]

>>8884043
Sounds about right. Puerto ricans are not like Mexicans. They dont do hot. My white GF handles my salsa better than my Puerto Rican acquaintances.

[Anonymous No.8884416]

>>8884180
holy shit I found a genuinely insane person on /ck/.

You're fucking nuts man.

[Anonymous No.8884437]

>>8872920
I used to eat dried elmers glue in kindergarten.

[Anonymous No.8884443]

>>8884180
You have me intrigued. So what's your diagnosis, schizophrenia? How's your life now? Still on all those meds?

[Anonymous No.8884461]

When eating chips (or crisps as some of you fags like to call it) I chew it up until it becomes mush and then I stick my fingers in my mouth and pull it out in between my thumb and forefinger, and then eat it again. This process cannot be repeated with the same batch, if I decide to do this it needs to be freshly chewed chips every time.

[Anonymous No.8884483]

>>8884437
Which explains why you're here now.

[Anonymous No.8884777]

>>8882086
I liked eating both cat and dog food as a kid, though I was scared of getting poisoned.

[Anonymous No.8884892]

>>8872920
Grab white bread
Cut off crust
Mash with rolling pin
Coat one side with ham, cheese
Or peanut butter and jelly
Roll
Untoasted Wonder bread, Kraft cheese, and generic ham, and mayo together is cancer, yet it was something I used to enjoy
Then I found sourdough and how to fucking cook at the age of 15, and now im in this shithole five years later

[Anonymous No.8884912]

>>8884777
What the fuck
>>8882086
I once ate a single kibble

[Anonymous No.8884951]

>>8884443
Everythings much better im not on any meds it was the mood stabilizers and antipsychotics that fucked me up i was seeing shadow people the fuckin schizo usual but now im very balanced happy the only hallucinations i have are bugs crawling and sometimes i just feel like somebody is gonna kill me one time at hastings this dude was walking up to open the store and u had a freak out panic claiming he was gonna murder me but that was a year and a half ago
Psychadelics really help with balance and depression i was misdiagnosed with histrionic personality disorder but it was really my PTSD i still suffer from it as a kid i was forced to shit and beaten if i didnt they locked me in a bathroom told me i was gonna die
my lifes Really interesting
But that part was when i realized part of my life was a lie and that my life really fucking sucked it was a brief period of psychosis
I plan on being a preformance artist and musician i just havent gotten any money
Also those psych meds made me fat thats the shittiest part of my life right now i think it also gave me visual snow and vocal/physical tics

[Anonymous No.8884957]

>>8884416
Mama mia horse quesadilla

[Anonymous No.8885180]

>>8884912
What? I was a curious retard as were most 7 year olds. Also, check 'em.

[Anonymous No.8885183]

>>8884951
Which is these mental issues makes it so you type like a fucking mong? Jesus, use punctuation.

[Anonymous No.8885285]

>>8883956
>port salut
My nigga

[Anonymous No.8885292]

>>8884951

[Anonymous No.8885300]

>>8873151
Learn to relax by doing breathing exercises and meditation while focusing on your posture. I find my autism is most noticeable in the way I go fight or flight in public so I just focus on being calm and in a relaxed way.

[Anonymous No.8885313]

>>8881784
>intentionally slaps and batters incoming traffic to make his own path

[Anonymous No.8885334]

When I was younger I used to take a handful of saltine crackers chew then up until they had a dry playdogh like consistency then spit them onto two untouched crackers to make a sandwich.

[Anonymous No.8885336]

I did this all through elementary school, and never got caught.
I used to get hot lunch every day because I didn't want to be one of those weird kids that brought lunch from home. Anyways, I would never actually eat the food. I would just wait for a time when the janitor wasn't looking, and throw away my whole tray of food and go to recess. Looking back on this, I can't believe I didn't just start bringing lunch from home. Lunch was about a dollar a day at this time, so my parents wasted thousands of dollars on my uneaten food.

[Anonymous No.8885381]

>>8882042
well memed, i'm impressed

[Anonymous No.8885387]

>>8882042
Vlado, is that you?

[Anonymous No.8885397]

>>8882253
>puerto rican

Found the problem, those are the niggers of niggers. They brag all fucking day about shit but never do anything. Their food is shit, their "spices" are shit, literally worst fucking food in the world.

[Anonymous No.8885556]

>>8881942
This is what I ment, except it's not filled with jelly.

[Anonymous No.8887137]

>>8884951
You sound like a documentary I just watched

[Anonymous No.8887149]

>>8872980
I do this. I used to do it more often but occasionally still do. I wonder what possesses any of us to do that.

[Anonymous No.8887155]

>>8882042
Fuck off, Dan.

[Anonymous No.8887168]

One time I woke up mostly drunk in the early morning with an intense need to filly stomach with sustenance. So I went downstairs and filled a bowl up with leftover fried rice. When I got to the stairs, which are carpeted, I spilled half my bowl of rice. I, in my drunken state, simply filled the bowl back up with the spilled rice. When I got back into bed I ate half the bowl. When I woke up sober, I found the bowl of rice was covered in all kinds of mysterious shit from the carpet. Worst was all the pet and human hair, and just thinking about how dirty those stairs actually are.

I gag just thinking about it.

[Anonymous No.8887176]

>>8873004
I like eating alone. I don't care if it is a meme or not. More often it is relaxing and basically just "me time".

[Anonymous No.8887184]

>>8873016
I sit on my phone or with a book or whatever. Occasionally I people watch. I am introverted so it is much more pleasant to just entertain myself and enjoy my meal. I'm not the same Anon as who you asked this of though.

[Anonymous No.8887206]

>>8873038
Do you sit around scowling at everyone or something? I have eaten in a restaurant alone and crying and no one batted an eye let alone talked to me. Instead, I got AYCE fries ahead of my meal instead of after the meal arrived.

[Anonymous No.8887224]

>>8876889

>not in the far corner of the computer rooms

Pfft, loser.

[Anonymous No.8887228]

>>8873151
Easy - eat and look at your phone or a book. Don't act like an ass. Be respectful to the waitstaff. It isn't actually difficult.

[Anonymous No.8887257]

>>8882042
kek

[Anonymous No.8887280]

>>8882042

Hey, Penn.

What time is it? We didn't date, but you had a crush on me. Awkward confession time: I always thought you were really cool and comfortable in your own skin.

[Anonymous No.8887308]

>>8882000
Nice trips also the fuck how does this fit here

[Anonymous No.8887316]

>>8883617
yeast is actually a bacterial plant

[Anonymous No.8887868]

>>8872920
We had a class over-night trip in middle school, and at our first dinner together, I was the only ome at the assigned table to use the fork and knife, the others just used their hands.
It impressed the girls, until I licked the plates and got laughed at.
But I later heard it was pretty memorable and I got a pretty lewd nickname from it among the girls which was an advantage, so I guess it worked out?

[Anonymous No.8887903]

>>8872920
Sometimes I'd eat the skin off of wiener sausages with my teeht and just the flesh

[Anonymous No.8888143]

>>8872920
>secretly eating tubs of Betty Crocker frosting in my room
>literally throwing food out of the window during meals when my mom left the room bc picky eater
>burying lunch snacks I didn't want in the woods behind my house
>eating sour cream+onion Pringles religiously because they made you grow taller
>eating corn cobs by shearing the corn off with my teeth like a wood lathe
>repurposing pasta sauce jars as drink glasses and drinking jar fulls of milk
>making two ice cream cones and smoothing them together, eating from cone to cone
>using liquorice as straws(I'm sure more people did this I can't possibly be the only one)
>putting mayo on rice when out of soy sauce
>developing a crippling eating disorder in teen years because calorie counting and water fasting
>only eating the top layer of lasagna

[Anonymous No.8888193]

>>8888143
>burying lunch snacks I didn't want in the woods behind my house
are you a dog

[Anonymous No.8888204]

I used to eat only the crust off pizzas when I was a kid

[Anonymous No.8888339]

>>8883958
Me too, especially with kitkats. Then someone here called me Ted Bundy for doing that.

[Anonymous No.8889224]

>>8882042
not real but dan schneider, the icarly producer

[Anonymous No.8889820]

>>8889224
Miranda is that you? I fucking made you, you life whore, stop spreading lies or I'll cut you

[Anonymous No.8889936]

>>8887224
>computer rooms that allow food in them

sure jan

[Anonymous No.8890008]

I was at a local restaurant and when the waitress said "enjoy your meal", without thinking I replied with "you too" then immediately cringed.

[Anonymous No.8890012]

>>8890008
Ho ho, epic tale, brethren!

[Anonymous No.8890033]

>>8888143
>putting mayo on rice when out of soy sauce

What the fuck you disgusting animal

[Anonymous No.8890071]

>>8882000
>Trip2trip

[Anonymous No.8890154]

>>8883948
I had an Ex who swore by this. Would drink straight pickle juice too. Bitch was fine as hell, but I hated tasting pickles on her lips/mouth

[Anonymous No.8890158]

>>8890154
You are a fool and I am HARD right now

[Anonymous No.8890224]

>>8885336
why did you do that though were you just not hungry or what?
Also since when is it weird to bring lunch from home? Me and my friends all had home lunches and we'd trade shit it was awesome.
>mom packs fritos
>I hate fritos
>friend loves fritos
>trade him for his BBQ lays
>everyones happy

[Anonymous No.8890228]

>>8872920
>Dig brown marks out of apples with nails
>Rotate around the top half of the apple
>Rotate around the bottom half of the apple
>Eat the now skinless apple flesh

I can't help it. When I don't actively focus on not doing it and just eating an apple normally, I naturally find myself digging bits out of it for no reason.

[Anonymous No.8890245]

>>8883355
>>8873835
Top kek, also nice tripledubs

[Anonymous No.8890270]

For breakfast at school, there'd be cereal, like Trix and stuff, and there'd be string cheese and stuff, and I'd eat the Trix and string cheese at the same time. Delicious. Haven't had it in literally 12 or so years.

[Anonymous No.8890320]

>>8878721
Not autism, more like extreme brainlet disorder

[Anonymous No.8890354]

>>8890008
I now do this on purpose every time I order because when I was a fast food wagie it always entertained me when people did it and realized their mistake
They deserve a little humor in their day after hours of dealing with LEMME GET A MUFUCKIN UUUUUHHHH

[Anonymous No.8890397]

>>8878800
I see nothing wrong with this, would be nicer with pizza sauce and a bit of basil though

[Anonymous No.8890398]

>>8873274
i use to spit in these during highschool

[Anonymous No.8890406]

>>8879371
Sure, if you watch WWE and live in a trailer

[Anonymous No.8890420]

>>8890158
Th-thanks anon..

[Anonymous No.8890516]

>>8887868
Poo in loo?

[Anonymous No.8890686]

>>8888143
>eating corn cobs by shearing the corn off with my teeth like a wood lathe

Wait, that's considered abnormal?

FUCK

[Anonymous No.8890733]

I was having dinner at a nice restaurant called Bridges with my partner and her three kids for her birthday, along with their elderly lady nanny.

I decided to order the jambalaya but I asked the waiter to make mine not spicy (because I'm allergic to pepper). The food arrived quickly and it looked terrific but as soon as I took the first bite I started to cough, then began to choke. To my horror I realized that the jambalaya had pepper in it - a LOT of pepper. The choking got worse and I couldn't breathe but then the nanny came running over yelling

"HELP IS ON THE WAY DEAR!"

She got into position behind me and started to firmly give me the heimlich maneuver. After what felt like forever a piece of shrimp flew out of my throat and suddenly I could breathe again. I turn to thank her for saving my life but I froze when I saw that her "face" was a prosthetic and had peeled off. My date's nanny was a man!

[Anonymous No.8890790]

last year I had just been grocery and was carrying 4 bottles of red wine in a plastic bag and dropped them in a busy mall. I threw the bag and broken bottles in the trash but there was a huge pool of wine on the floor which looked the fucking blood. Couldn't do much other than walk away with wine-y footprints. This might not sound like a big deal but I'm socially anxious enough as it is.

[Anonymous No.8890842]

>>8890790
you're not really supposed to do anything in that situation besides alert someone so the staff can clean it up
what are you gonna do mop it up with your shirt?

[Anonymous No.8890869]

>be kid
>generally hold sandwiches weird
>sometimes lay them flat on the back of my hand for no real reason but to be funny/weird
>fast forward to late teens
>aunt tells her bf about my old sandwich eating habits
>I demonstrate because why the fuck not
>fast forward to now (21)
>he brings it up every other fucking time I see him
I want to murder this man.

[Anonymous No.8890881]

>>8881507
Have you literally never been to a doctor before?

[Anonymous No.8890929]

>>8888143
>>literally throwing food out of the window during meals
I did this a couple times. My dad makes terrible pasta.
>>making two ice cream cones and smoothing them together, eating from cone to cone
That's genius.
The rest of that list is ranging from normal but uncommon to fucking weird/bad.

Reminds me. I got sick of flintstones vitamins in grade school so I'd hide them in my pocket and then give them to my friends when I got to school.

[Anonymous No.8890946]

In elementary school, when I was done eating my lunch, I'd do this thing called "mix time".
It was like a cooking show where I would make abominations out of the scraps and milk on my plate.
The faculty made me stop.

[Anonymous No.8891047]

>>8883880
>pouring syrup on the pancakes
fucking disgusting

put it in a little dish next to your pancakes and dip them in it, that way you get the perfect amount on every bite.
It's never soggy, and the last bites are just as good as the first.

[Anonymous No.8891129]

>>8890842
He should have layed down next to it and pretended to be dying.

[Anonymous No.8891136]

>>8872938
I eat my popcorn like this sometimes because it's neat.

[Anonymous No.8891146]

>>8890946
oh shit, i remember doing something similar with friends in elementary.
>take milk carton
>drink a bit
>ask for foodscrap contributions from everyone
>put all that shit in the milk carton
>mix it up
>dare kids to take a sip
fun times

[Anonymous No.8891149]

>>8890842
and let them swindle you into paying for floor-wine? fat chance

[Anonymous No.8891240]

>>8891047
Fuck, that's brilliant

Why haven't I thought of that?

[Anonymous No.8891265]

>>8891240
I bet you put ketchup on top of your pile of fries too you savage

[Anonymous No.8891288]

>>8884951
What the fuck is visual snow?

[Anonymous No.8891301]

>>8885556
Oh boy I learned about a new food item!

[Anonymous No.8891328]

I used to make bizarre frankenmeals as a kid and tried to get my family and friends to taste them because I thought they were genius creations. Amongst them were:
>a "soup" I made that was mostly orange juice, tomato paste, black pepper, a bunch of other spices and possibly some other stuff I don't remember
>a drink that was literally just bubblegum flavoured toothpaste mixed with water
>BBQ sauce and tomato sauce mixed together on a plate
>milk with pennies in it

I even got a few family members to try some of these and humour me by pretending to like it.

[Anonymous No.8891333]

>>8890224
The elementary school I went to banned ALL trading of food for some reason. Like even if your friend forgot to bring their lunch you still couldn't give anyone anything. They also wanted to genocide anyone who brought in soda. Whenever I brought in some can of peach nectar or pear juice to drink, half of the teachers faces would shoot daggers at you because it looked like soda and sounded like it when opening a can. Fuck that place.

[Anonymous No.8891420]

>>8891288
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_snow

Think like the blank TV channel static just as a very slight overlay to your vision

[Anonymous No.8891493]

I used to eat my chicken nuggets with carmel sauce

[Anonymous No.8891500]

>>8891493
Also forgot velveta mac n cheese with mrs.buttersworth syrup

[Anonymous No.8891732]

>>8887137
Probably grey gardens

[Anonymous No.8891803]

I watched my dude put honey in his ground beef and then strain and wash it

[Anonymous No.8891813]

>>8890946
>>8891146
Glad to see Im not the only person who did this shit

[Anonymous No.8891910]

>>8891328
I would probably gag in front of you if you were my child. I'm sorry, son.

[Anonymous No.8891916]

>>8891803
>honey in his ground beef
Doesn't sound too bad actu-
>and then strain and wash it
wtf why

[Anonymous No.8891931]

>>8891916
"I don't like fat"
>mfw

[Anonymous No.8892030]

>>8885397
This. I'm half Puerto Rican and I can't stand Puerto Rican food. It's such trash.

[Anonymous No.8892256]

>>8890929
>Psst, hey kid... want to try some calcium?

[Anonymous No.8892302]

When I eat french fries I eat them one by one and i pour ketchup on every single one before eating them, idk if that's weird but it's efficient.

[Anonymous No.8892311]

>>8873061
How do you manage to eat alone? When i used to work in a call center i avoided going to eat when no one else went with me, i would just have a cig and a cup of coffee even if i were really hungry

Its a mental burden for me to eat alone in public

[Anonymous No.8892324]

>>8876852
Ive dreamed of this last night, i woke up ina puddle of saliva

[Anonymous No.8892355]

>turning 21
>don't live with family anymore but they want to do something
>suggest brazilian steakhouse all you can eat
>giant party the night before
>fall down two of my ex's stairs somehow and get none
>too hungover to eat the next day
>show up anyways
>spend entire time in bathroom vomiting up everything i ate or eat
>try to play it off and keep eating
>vomit on plate and excuse myself to the bathroom for the 5th time
>everyone decides the meat party should end
>get ride home
>beer truck rolls up as i'm walking in
>apparently i got a keg for delivery.

gr8 birthday desu

[Anonymous No.8892379]

I actually started crying when I was like 9 because my chicken wasn't tendies when I ordered Chicken Vesuvio at a greek restaurant.

[Anonymous No.8892409]

>>8878800
when i worked for a bar i would do this with those cheap hormel pepperonis

it was amazing. I remember being drunk as shit before a shift at my mom's house and she was trying to feed me like some normal leftovers and being like "NO DUDE THIS IS THE SHIT" as i microwaved some bread and cheap salami and cheese before running out the door at like 7pm on a weekday.

[Anonymous No.8892456]

>>8879343
>Would ask for bread at a hispanic bread store, ask for "panocha" with "miel". Turns out it means pussy with honey.


did it work?

[Anonymous No.8892586]

>>8890881
The doctor has never looked at my dick unless I asked her to

[Anonymous No.8892655]

>>8891328

>BBQ sauce and tomato sauce mixed together on a plate

I did that. Worked ok desu

[Anonymous No.8892664]

>>8892586
my doctor growing up would take a quick look that seemed for health. Actually I had two doctors, both Indian and wondered why the female one needed to see more of me when the male doctor just kinda showed up and gave drugs.

[Anonymous No.8892677]

>>8892311
Did you eat the cigarette?

[Anonymous No.8892687]

I liked ketchup and cheese sandwiches when I was younger. If time travel existed I would kick my own ass.
Also, I liked raw Top Ramen noodles.
I was pretty polite in my eating habits and being polite though because my parents were all about raising me to be a good Ukrainian woman.

[Anonymous No.8892693]

I'm eating half a stick of butter straight up right now

[Anonymous No.8892702]

>>8892693
stop

[Anonymous No.8892714]

>>8878721

How could you not know?? Like that's retarded

[Anonymous No.8892738]

>>8872938
I still use the frog/lizard tongue method, from out of my hand, when eating white cheddar popcorn.

[Anonymous No.8892797]

>>8892677
Yee

[Anonymous No.8892802]

>>8879343
I used to do peanut butter tortillas all the time for school lunch. Once made the mistake of using spinach, since my family told me they would taste normal, not realizing that I wasn't using it for a wrap or something.

[Anonymous No.8892835]

I drink milk straight from the plastic bag like a hungry fawn suckling on it's mother's teat.

[Anonymous No.8892860]

I know people who eat lemons, skin and all

[Anonymous No.8892888]

>>8888143
>>repurposing pasta sauce jars as drink glasses
did that and still do

[Anonymous No.8892957]

>>8873004
And what would be wrong with that? For example if you travel a lot for work you'll find yourself doing so pretty often

[Anonymous No.8892968]

>>8883956
>moving out at 15 with no money
>parents don't support you even for basic stuff
>but they keep expensive foods in the fridge and apparently don't notice you stealing them
What kind of degeneracy is this

[Anonymous No.8893027]

>>8884461
I do similar stuff. I chew chips to become mush, then take another one and spit mushy chips on that. Like Im mama bird and providing food for my chicks

[Anonymous No.8893034]

>>8893027
>>8884461
>5 years old
>would do this
>then let dog lick it out of my mouth

[Anonymous No.8893069]

I used to not like pizza when I was a kid so when my family would get it, I wouldn't get one and instead ate everyone's crusts

When I got older I started liking pizza but I didn't like cheese, so I would order pizza without cheese

[Anonymous No.8893074]

Cadbury chocolate bar i would eat each block in a different way, bottom one id hold in wrapper so it melts, one i would eat, one i would bite in half then lick the smooth broken chocolate, one i would suck on until it melted, and another i would scrape my teeth against it grating the chocolate. Every fucking time, not in public luckily but my family must have found it weird as fuck.

[Anonymous No.8893076]

>>8872920
Did you lose those kind of habits or are you overweight?

[Anonymous No.8893141]

>>8892860
Op here, i do that as well. It sucks that I chipped my tooth over a baguette. No I cant eat them anymore

[Anonymous No.8893143]

Now that I think about it I have a few. I grew out of weird eating habits. I don't remember but my family had to stop me from eating sticks of butter, which is weird because now I don't like butter.
I do remember however, I had this tooth paste that tasted awesome. I can't remember what it was but for about a year I convinced my mom not to buy new tooth pastes and about less than half the time I wouldn't even brush my teeth just eat it. She caught me because we were running out of tooth paste too often.

[Anonymous No.8893190]

>>8890516
Nah, that's the thing, it was white suburbanites at the table, but they just went full on hands first.

[Anonymous No.8893332]

>>8883584

Absolute madman

[Anonymous No.8893357]

>>8892302
I do that.

[Anonymous No.8893911]

>>8893069
do you enjoy life?

[Anonymous No.8893946]

>>8876889
Bathrooms literally smell like shit. Why would you do that?

[Anonymous No.8893965]

>>8893946
Crippling anxiety. Normalfags will never understand...

[Anonymous No.8893975]

>>8893965
>let me avoid people by hiding in a heavy traffic area

[Anonymous No.8893996]

>>8893965
>I would rather eat surrounded by feces than in a room with people

[Anonymous No.8894005]

>>8893965
I used to do this all the time when I was at school, don't feel bad anon.

[Anonymous No.8894022]

>>8893975
Nobody can get in my cubicle anon. I'm safe there

>>8893996
Yeah that's right anon

>>8894005
Thanks;_;

[Anonymous No.8894042]

>>8882042
Dan "The man with the plan to shut down 4chan" Schneider
Dan "Open wider" Schneider
Dan "No need to throw out those dirty diapers" Schneider
Dan "obese satanic pedophile footfag cuckold kike bastard" Schneider
Dan "Hold her tighter, she's a fighter" Schneider

[Anonymous No.8894049]

>>8882042
Dick Wolf?

[Anonymous No.8894052]

>>8882153
Realest post in this thread. Respect.

[Anonymous No.8894142]

>>8884130
fucking kek

[Anonymous No.8894261]

I touch my spoon to my chin before I eat anything.

[Anonymous No.8894272]

>>8885334
fuck yeah. I did that with shortbread cookies and called the chewed up cookie "buttercream". Still don't know what actual buttercream is

[Anonymous No.8894389]

>>8882042
I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually Dan, because no one would believe it anyway.

[Anonymous No.8894419]

>>8879343
i eat tortillas with peanutbutter with hotsauce on the peanutbutter

[Anonymous No.8894593]

>>8894261
Holy shit...

You wouldn't happen to be from the St. Louis area, would you anon?


My story... the other day work brought in a bunch of pizza's. I was offsite babysitting cable runs at a new building.

By time I got back all that was left was a couple slices of pepperoni and two untouched veggie pizzas.

I flipped a piece of pepperoni upside down on a piece of veggie and just ate it like a supreme calzone.

[Anonymous No.8894616]

>>8894593
Damn, that actually sounds pretty good

[Anonymous No.8894621]

>>8890733
kek

[Anonymous No.8894653]

>>8894593
>You wouldn't happen to be from the St. Louis area, would you anon?
It's an everybody loves raymond reference.

[Anonymous No.8894676]

>>8880271
Holy shit that reminded me. I would trade my whole lunch on some days so i could get all my classmates baby carrot packs. I would have like 8-10

[Anonymous No.8894688]

>>8894676
Also i would challenge them to "eating contests" like who could eat a corndog in the least bites. One kid ate it in one.

[Anonymous No.8894723]

>>8894653
>>Raymond
I think I'm actually a little proud that I missed that.

I have a nephew that actually does that.
Good lord he drives me nuts.

If food is even slightly above room temp he will touch it to his chin or poke it with his finger... every bite.

He will sniff whatever is on his fork before eating it, sometimes several times.

One time we were in vacation with them and he cut off a piece of steak. Sniffed it, paused, turned the fork over and sniffed the other side.

I cracked up and asked him if he was really expecting the other side of that tiny bite of steak to smell different.

He cried.

Just to be clear, this kid has a drivers license now, so he had to be 12 or 13 on that trip.

My sister in law was pissy with me the rest of the trip. (No real change there)

[Anonymous No.8894793]

>>8893069
I dont get it, why people leave the crust? Its fucking bread, literally breadsticks, just ask for dome dip and you're good to go

[Anonymous No.8894934]

>>8892030
Sh-shut up!
t. Also half puerto rican

[Anonymous No.8894963]

>>8891328
You reminded me of a drink I made as a kid.
>getting some o.j.
>see a bottle labeled "raspberry"
>cool, raspberry o.j. sounds pretty good
>pour a whole bunch in so it looks like a sunset
>let my mom try the first sip
>"oh, that's pretty good. heh heh"
>take a big swig
>turns out it was raspberry vinaigrette
>get water for me and mom

She said she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

[Anonymous No.8894982]

>>8882000
Dude that's the exact reason i jacked off in half the places i have. I've toned it down past few years but i've jerked off on a plane, boat, train, tram, same car as my parents, most of my friend's houses, at work in my car, etc...
I take pride in my work.

[Anonymous No.8895079]

>>8882000
I once jerked off in the school bathroom during finals

[Anonymous No.8895114]

>>8890406
To be honest, I think that's more of the TNA crowd, never seen a bunch of bigger rednecks, atleast some WWE fans are functioning members of society.

[Anonymous No.8895138]

Once every 6 months or so I don't eat for a day before I eat 60 chicken nuggets from McD in one sitting, it all started as a horrible thing my friend challenged me to do 6 years ago when I was like 360 lbs. I'm still suprised I can handle it now when I'm at 168 lbs.

[Anonymous No.8895142]

>>8887176
im same way at work . like to take my luch mysefl

[Anonymous No.8895196]

I like to pour ketchup on my scrambled eggs. Is that seen as bad or nah?

[Anonymous No.8895270]

>>8872938
I'm 27 and still do this when no one's around. Co-workers used to laugh at me when I ate Doritos with a fork until I reminded them that our hands are filthy all the time at work.

[Anonymous No.8895287]

>>8894723
>Crying over something like that after the age of 3

lol, what a retarded little beta bitch boy.

[Anonymous No.8895290]

>>8891328
>Salty coins and milk
Is this innuendo

[Anonymous No.8895395]

>>8894272
Buttercream is a type of cake frosting made with butter and cream

[Anonymous No.8895759]

When I was young we would go to mcD's and get softserve ice-cream in a cup then fill it with rootbeer to make a float. We thought it was great since a lot of the time they would only charge us for the soft serve. I miss cheeseburger Sunday when you could get them for 75c each (Canada).

[Anonymous No.8895808]

>>8887316
False, it is an animalian fungus

[Anonymous No.8896050]

>>8881942

[Anonymous No.8896059]

>>8882086
Once my boyfriend ate a single kibble of my cat's all-natural food because, as he said, it's not made of anything we wouldn't normally eat. So he crunches it, and swallows and says, "Well, I wouldn't eat any more, but it's not bad."

So I was really curious, and I pulled out a kibble, and put it in my mouth and INSTANTLY threw up on the bed and floor and threw up for about five straight minutes until it was just dry heaves.

My brother used to eat the Canine Carry-Outs treats all the time though, by the bag, until my parents had to lock the cabinet under the sink with the dog treats inside.

[Anonymous No.8896112]

>>8884461
I used to do this all the time and still do it whenever I'm eating chips or crackers alone
>chew 2-3 chips/crackers until mush
>use my tongue to make a ball out of the chewed up stuff
>suck all the spit out so it forms a cohesive nugget
>take it out of my mouth
>eat it again in bites

I don't know why I've always done this. A couple other ones:
>eat all of one type of thing in a mix at a time, like eating Lucky Charms I'll eat all the cereal first, then all the balloon shaped marshmallows, then all the moons, etc, or eating all the raisins, then all the almonds etc out of trail mix
That isn't SUPER uncommon but it is weird.

>repeatedly vomit ice cream and eat it again
This is hard to explain... I have a disorder where my stomach is malformed, so I can "throw up" food I've just eaten on command, with relatively little effort, it just comes back up. If I eat ice cream, the "vomit" is very neutral and sweet and doesn't taste like stomach acid at all, so I'll repeatedly "throw up" a mouthful of melted ice cream so I can taste it again for about an hour or maybe more, eventually it digests though.

[Anonymous No.8896139]

>>8896112
>o I can "throw up" food I've just eaten on command

[Anonymous No.8896321]

>>8896112
Wat

[Anonymous No.8896425]

>>8896112
Damn, my SO does that vomit thing every now and then. Didn't know it had to do with some sort of malformation. Can you explain more? Is regurgitating like this safe?
Might as well adopt some seabirds.

[Anonymous No.8896430]

>>8896425
Even if you can't taste the stomach acid it's still there. Doing that enough would probably have the same effect bulimia has and would erode your esophagus in time.

[Anonymous No.8896436]

>>8896430
Oh man thanks, there's going to be a serious talk the next we go to sleep and I hear em chewing dinner again.

[Anonymous No.8896455]

>>8882000
had a wank in my year 12 maths exam for a similar reason. just wanted to see if I could do it, y'know? Like how the cat burglar takes some shit, not cause he wants it, but for the challenge

[Anonymous No.8896461]

>>8888143
>eating sour cream+onion Pringles religiously because they made you grow taller
What convinced you of that

[Anonymous No.8896477]

>>8873004
So do I. I dress well and am confident with staff. They always think I am a food reviewer and slay me with free food and drinks. I like dining alone. I just sit there reading a book or shitposting and always have a merry time. 23 btw

[Anonymous No.8896478]

>>8883959
liar i have seen this image before elsewhere

[Anonymous No.8896482]

>>8883978
what the fuck even is that coloured shit
>>8883982
enjoy your dead mouse sausages

[Anonymous No.8896489]

>>8896477
I know this feel

[Anonymous No.8896499]

I eat everything with a knife and fork, and I mean everything. I eat pizza with a knife and fork. I eat fried chicken, legs and breasts and all, with a knife and fork. If I get something like a Reese's Cup I will eat it with a knife and fork. For small stuff like Skittles I will use a spoon.
I can't stand eating with my fingers.

[Anonymous No.8896500]

>>8896499
now this is autism

[Anonymous No.8896516]

>>8890733

[Anonymous No.8896523]

>>8896477
reviewbrah is that you?

[Anonymous No.8896527]

>>8881917
From the US too, we never hat bottles but those FUCKING CARTONS that were FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO OPEN

[Anonymous No.8896529]

>>8890733
I needed that laugh anon, thanks.

[Anonymous No.8896544]

>>8894793
I dunno what dome dip is but I wanna try it
I realise it's probably a typo, but still.

[Anonymous No.8896568]

>go to new restaurant on my street corner
>eating alone, order a green curry
>it comes served as bowl of rice, and a bowl of the curry, separately on a dinner plate
>dump rice on plate and curry on top of it
>there's way more curry than there seemed
>curry all over table, wipe it up with napkins
>spend whole meal precariously taking spoonfuls trying to keep the rest overflowing
>waiter looked at me confused as fuck

Can't go back

[Anonymous No.8896638]

>>8893069
>pizza without cheese

When I worked in a pizza shop people would do this all the time, it just fucking burns the pizza and all the ingredients

[Anonymous No.8896771]

I would (and still sometimes do) dip vanilla wafers into super cold water and eat them after dipping.

Try it sometime. Milk works too, but for some reason water is the best.

[Anonymous No.8896981]

There was a time when me mum used to buy Kraft mayo instead of McCormick and i sneaked at midnight to eat mayo sandwiches, literally a dulop of mayo between two slices of white bread, i liked the taste and texture

Also, i eat cereal with banana or apple sometimes

[Anonymous No.8897368]

>>8891146
In fifth grade there was this kid named William, he was the class clown
So, on colonial day, he got a Gatorade for lunch or something, and started to put random food scraps in it like bits of goldfish or rice krispie or whatever, eventually there was tons of shit in it and I was laughing so hard my sides hurt and I couldn't breathe
Then he fucking drank it, the madman

[Anonymous No.8897640]

>>8894982
>would you could you on a plane, boat, train, tram, same car as my parents, most of my friend's houses, at work in my car
Dr. Seuss?

[Anonymous No.8898387]

>>8884130
It's literally "milk and pepsi" you pleb.