/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.8782420]

Describe your ideal rules that all restaurants should follow:

>Children must be barred entry after 7pm.
>Tables must not be packed in too tightly. I hate overhearing other people's conversations. Customers deserve a degree of privacy.
>Strict dress code for staff. Women must wear skirts.
>Pregnant women should not work as waitresses or in any front of house role.
>People with visible tattoos or piercings should not work as waiters or in any front of house role.
>Waiters must not be obtrusive. I hate when waiters ask me if everything's ok when I'm eating. They should be nearby and come when called, but not overly friendly.
>Customers who dress nicely should receive a discount.
>There must not be too many windows. I don't want passersby to watch me eat or lip-read my conversation.
>Music must not be too loud.
>Red wine and beers must be served room temperature unless it is specifically requested cold.
>Smoking must be banned.

[Anonymous No.8782430]

>Smoking must be banned

Nah. Fuck you, buddy. There's almost no place left to smoke in this town.

[Anonymous No.8782436]

>>8782430
Good.

Killing yourselves slowly shouldn't affect the lives of others at all

[Anonymous No.8782438]

Seating should be racially segregated.

[Anonymous No.8782442]

You seem autistic.

[Anonymous No.8782443]

>People like OP must be barred from entry at any time

[Anonymous No.8782448]

>Women must wear skirts
sounds like a fast track to harassment lawsuit

[Anonymous No.8782458]

No fat chicks after 7

[Anonymous No.8782462]

I really just wish people would talk more softly.
When you are sitting directly across from another person why do so many people feel the need to be so fucking loud.
I believe if people at other tables can make out the details of your conversation you are speaking to loudly.

[Anonymous No.8782469]

>>8782420
I can see the fedora through monitors.

[Anonymous No.8782477]

>>8782469
Your idea of a good restaurant probably involves a soft play area and free soda refills.

[Anonymous No.8782478]

>>8782420
>Serving any beer at higher than 14C
You disgust me.

[Anonymous No.8782516]

>>8782430
Smoke at home, faggot. There needs to be a ban on smoking outside too, fucking stinkers stinking up the fresh air.

[Anonymous No.8782538]

>>8782420
Looks like someone's been beat by the 'tism stick one too many times

[Anonymous No.8782543]

no singles

[Anonymous No.8782618]

>waitresses should have at least D cup sized tits
>waitresses should always go topless, and preferably wear crotchless panties
>pregnant waitresses are encouraged to supply milk for customers' coffee, tea, or direct feeding

[Anonymous No.8782624]

>>8782420
You are correct, except for...
>Waiters must not be obtrusive.... (It's not obtrusive, there are other tables in the restaurant besides you, so we can't just stand by all the time)
>Customers who dress nicely.... (seriously?)
>Beers room temperature... (you're right baout red wine, though)
You think those three things because you are retarded in some way, but I agree with all of those restrictions on FOH waiters. Too bad we live in the illustrious era of "muh feelings piercings and tattoos don't make me work less hard :^))))"

[Anonymous No.8782626]

>Private settings versus general open space
>Dim lights, relaxed atmosphere (dim open to close)
>Chill spot with couches for post dinner drinks and relaxation

[Anonymous No.8782636]

>>8782618
This made me kek and wake up my sleeping child.

[Anonymous No.8782638]

>>8782420
you are literally autistic

[Anonymous No.8782642]

>>8782430
This.
I hate eating a perfectly good restaurant and then
some smoke-fag decides to sit next to my table and all I smell is burnt shit.

[Anonymous No.8782713]

>No kids past 19:00
>Waitress dress code: Black shirt.
>Tip not mandatory, but appreciated.
>Tinted windows
>Designated Smoking areas, for example second floor, or outside tables left of the door.
>No Music
>No autists

[Anonymous No.8782720]

>>8782477
This doesn't change the fact your fedora collection is stacked on your head.

[Anonymous No.8782721]

>>8782713
>tip not mandatory, but appreciated
It already is you fuck

[Anonymous No.8782722]

>>8782420
>Pregnant women should not work as waitresses or in any front of house role.

Enjoy having your restaurant shut down for violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

[Anonymous No.8782723]

>>8782721
Not everywhere.

[Anonymous No.8782724]

>>8782713
Do you plan on paying your employees a living wage, or are your waiters all going to make 2.13 an hour?

Because I can tell you that you're gonna have staffing issues if you tell customers they don't have to tip.

[Anonymous No.8782725]

>>8782723
Then it isn't a tip. A tip is separate from the bill and completely optional.

[Anonymous No.8782733]

>>8782724
You do know if they don't make min wage in tips, the employer has to make up for it, right?

[Anonymous No.8782734]

>>8782724
Of course employees get a living wage, everything else would be retarded.

A tip is a reward for outstanding behaviour.

[Anonymous No.8782743]

>>8782724
>Live in New York
>TWW is $7.50
>Lol flyovers

[Anonymous No.8782750]

>>8782733
Yes.

But most of the time they make way more in tips, since tipping is more or less socially mandated.

It's an extreme rarity that an employer will have to pay minimum wage to their waiters.

[Anonymous No.8782752]

>>8782638
Flaming is not allowed on this board. I am new here but have read the rules. I'm not allowed to say if I reported you, but you can expect to be banned within the hour. :)

[Anonymous No.8782762]

>>8782420
Every table should be in a fully enclosed space with a door, completely sealing you off from the other diners and outside world. There can be a button to use to summon a waiter if you need them. I absolutely hate being seated in a table in the middle of an open restaurant, it makes me feel exposed and vulnerable from all directions

[Anonymous No.8782853]

>>8782733
>expecting to retain staff that have to put up with retarded adult-children on fucking minimum wage

Lol no.

I've never worked in food service and honestly would prefer to live in a place where the bill was 1 up front price and the staff were paid fairly from there, but, in America that is just (typically) not the case and if you're too autistic or poor to cooperate then just stay home.

[Anonymous No.8782861]

No coloreds after 7

[Anonymous No.8782867]

>>8782420
You strike me as someone who doesn't go to restaurants that often, or outside for that matter. also what's up with your desire for tepid beer? do you have really sensitive teeth?

[Anonymous No.8782871]

>>8782762
consider eating at home

[Anonymous No.8782881]

>>8782420
No shitting in the urinal

[Anonymous No.8782950]

>>8782443
This can be accomplished by requiring customers to make eye contact and speak audibly

[Anonymous No.8782961]

>>8782861
agreed

[Anonymous No.8782975]

>>8782743
said no one paying new york taxes/prices? or you're bridge and tunnel... sooooo... your self-hatred is cyclical

[Anonymous No.8783002]

>>8782430
>>8782642
Where the fuck do you live that you can still smoke indoors?

[Anonymous No.8783023]

>>8782420
>>Customers who dress nicely should receive a discount.

FUCK OFF RACIST PIECE OF SHIT.

Everybody's allowed to eat dress however they want, faggot.

[Anonymous No.8783042]

>>8782436
It doesn't.

[Anonymous No.8783050]

>>8782430
>>8782436
Except it does. I don't know what's so hard to get about "breathing in smoke that someone else has exhaled is almost as bad as smoking"
I wish you could meet my dad. His house is literally yellow. He has to throw out his computers every 3 or 4 years because the smoke combines with dust and forms this rancid tar that gets all over the internals and starts gumming up the fans.

[Anonymous No.8783051]

>>8782750
So waiters 'deserve' more than minimum wage?

[Anonymous No.8783057]

>>8782750
So what's your point?
That waiters should get paid more than minimum wage on top of all the tips they get, or that it doesnt matter?

My roommate works at Denny's and pulls in $600 a fucking week from tips.

[Anonymous No.8783058]

>>8782420
> No kids
> Volume limit. If you disturb other customers, you will be ejected.
> Relaxed dress code
> Smoking area away from the entrance, out of earshot of the restaurant and with fans to blow the smoke away.
> Tipping available on the card machine
> Call button for a waiter
> Soundproofing on walls to prevent echoes
> No vegans allowed

>>8782420
>>8782762
>>8782624

Autists.

>>8783023
>>8782861
>>8782624
>>8782538
> Image related

[Anonymous No.8783064]

>>8783050

I personally think that smoking is fucking disgusting. That being said, I also believe that people should be able to do what they want with their own body. Their body, their choice.

I find the smell of a nearby smoker to be fucking vile. But I don't for a moment believe that it affects my health. Perhaps if I were locked in a small closed space with a bunch of smokers then it might be believable, but the occasional exposure to smoke if you go to a bar or restaurant? No fucking way that's affecting my health to an appreciable degree.

[Anonymous No.8783067]

>>8782624
>Waiters must not be obtrusive.... (It's not obtrusive, there are other tables in the restaurant besides you, so we can't just stand by all the time)
>I can't tell if someone is happy or not simply by looking at them

Dense autism, right there

[Anonymous No.8783068]

>>8783050
Don't stand right in front of them and let them shotgun you then, you fucking retard.
A cigarette doesnt smell any worse than you wearing too much cologne because you wanted to impress your date, and in all probability you wouldn't even notice it if you weren't aware somebody was smoking.

Don't lump all smokers in with your trailer trash dad who has no sense of cleanliness.

[Anonymous No.8783069]

>>8782430
>>8782436
>>8782516
Bonfire smoke contains carcinogens at thousands of times the concentration of cigarette smoke, and there's a lot more of it. One night at a bonfire is worse for you than a lifetime of secondhand smoke.

[Anonymous No.8783079]

>>8783042
But it does.

[Anonymous No.8783085]

>>8783068
>A cigarette doesnt smell any worse than you wearing too much cologne
>You read correctly. I'm equating a carcinogenic drug with a fragrance designed to be pleasant.

[Anonymous No.8783094]

>>8783064
What about bartenders, waiters and foh staff that are around it for 8 hours a day? Should they be forced to quit or damage their health because people cant wait an hour or walk outside to smoke?

[Anonymous No.8783101]

>>8782420
>>Strict dress code for staff. Women must wear skirts.
Why?

[Anonymous No.8783104]

>>8782713
>unironically uses 24 hour clock
>no autists

[Mr. Jinks !//AChEron. No.8783112]

>>8782420
>Strict dress code for staff. Women must wear skirts.
>Pregnant women should not work as waitresses or in any front of house role.
>People with visible tattoos or piercings should not work as waiters or in any front of house role.
You're a cunt.

My list of actual ideals:
>The place has to be fucking clean, including the employees, but especially the kitchen, restrooms and tables
>No screaming children or babies
>Comfortable seating and ample table space, as well as space for staff and customers to navigate between tables and the restrooms
>No smoking, fuck you if you don't like it
>Prompt service. If you're not fast when I'm hungry you're useless to me
>Actual quality coffee and tea
>Fresh flowers
>Music should be quiet, to allow for conversation
>A suggestion box for customers, which should be read by, but carefully considered by the staff

[Anonymous No.8783117]

>>8782420
>Women must wear skirts
Lmao, why?

[Anonymous No.8783122]

>>8783064
counts as public disturbance to me desu

[Anonymous No.8783123]

>>8783112
>You're a cunt.
for wanting the waiting staff to be presentable?

[Mr. Jinks !//AChEron. No.8783129]

>>8783123
You can have piercings or tattoos and be presentable. I'm not saying hire Enigma to wait tables, but a nose ring or a hand tattoo can be perfectly fine.

[Anonymous No.8783179]

no ketchup for anyone over the age of 10

[Anonymous No.8783231]

>>8783179
Source?

[Anonymous No.8783237]

>>8783231
No source, can't you read?

[Anonymous No.8783238]

>>8783231
mad fresh bistro in fort myers florida

[Anonymous No.8783267]

>>8782420
>Designated area for families with kids, sound proof
> Sufficient space in between the tables to maintain conversation privacy
>Call button for waiter
>The area should have very dim lights, with a little chandelier over each table
>You receive a discount if your order is late
>Toothpicks in every table (damn braces)
> All soda must come from glass bottles
>All food options must have a half alternative. A normal sized (not american) portion is too much for me
>Comfortable chairs and air conditioning
In my country is already illegal to smoke indoors

[Anonymous No.8783282]

>>8783104
>Every country is the same

[Anonymous No.8783365]

>>8783237
Is that a fucking pun

[Anonymous No.8783410]

>>8783069
>Bonfire smoke

Oh yeh those pesky bonfires everywhere

[Anonymous No.8783437]

>>8782752
Hahahhaa what do you know, he wasn't

[Anonymous No.8783448]

>all employees paid regular wage, tipping not needed or encouraged
>If it's predominately a burger place fries always come with the burger no "a la carte" bullshit or "comes with chips(Utz) sub fries for 2.25"
>Given water no matter what with the option for another drink
>Complimentary side when entering depending on the style of restaurant, (breadsticks, rolls, chips, peanuts)

[Anonymous No.8783456]

>>8783179
I very rarely eat ketchup on my fries but this is bullshit.

The people pay for the food let them do what the hell they want to it. It's YOUR job to give them a dining experience they enjoy it's not your job to tell them how the food should be eaten.

[Anonymous No.8783459]

>>8783064
t. future lymphoma patient

>I KNOW MORE DEN EVERY1 YEAH FUCK THE MEN IN WHITE COATS I AM LE SMRTEST

[Anonymous No.8783460]

>>8782950
BTFO
T
F
O

How can OP ever recover?

[Anonymous No.8783472]

>>8783459
You're a fucking tard. Smoke is literal torture and you faggots with your ammonia gas sticks need to back the fuck up.
I smoke 20-30 a day but I've wised up to the fact that cigarettes create that noxious shit and have been smoking little cigars with pressed tobacco paper for a couple years.
But cigarettes are fucking disgusting and they smell like straight shit.

[Anonymous No.8783495]

>>8782420
holy fucking autism batman

[Anonymous No.8783498]

>>8782420
>order a beer
>waiter brings it to the table
>it's warm
>"all our beer and wine is served at room temperature"
>"i can put it in a ice bucket for you and bring it back when it's cold"
>get beer back after 20 minutes
yeah fuck off buddy. are you asian? who drinks warm beer? otherwise the list is alright

[Anonymous No.8783505]

>>8782436
Death is a release from the crime that is life.

Smoking helps with that so I see no problem with it.

[Anonymous No.8783508]

>>8783104
>too dumb to count higher than 12

[Anonymous No.8783518]

Good food
Good atmosphere is a plus but not required
Friendly service
Reasonable prices
No kids
No smoking

You guys are all picky manchildren, jesus

[Anonymous No.8783541]

>>8783518
>You guys are all picky manchildren, jesus

>Describe your IDEAL restaurant

[Anonymous No.8783637]

>>8783282
>third world countries are relevant

>>8783508
>ugh why is tradition so dumb
>I operate on a higher intellectual level m'lady, see how different I am?

[Anonymous No.8783642]

>>8783410
Have you never been to one?

[Anonymous No.8783665]

>>8783179
>food servant refuses to serve what you order

Sue that fucker.

[Anonymous No.8783672]

>>8782420
Okay OP, you win

[Anonymous No.8783691]

>>8783642
Never in a restaurant, no.

[Anonymous No.8783693]

>>8782722
>pregnant women are disabled
>women are literally one cream pie away from being considered as bad as retards and cripples

[Anonymous No.8783715]

>>8783085
Nigger some carcinogens smell delicious like red meat.

[Anonymous No.8783718]

>>8783691
But if you've been to one at all you've inhaled more carcinogens than you ever will in a lifetime of going to restaurants that allow smoking you faggot hypocrite.

[Anonymous No.8783722]

>>8783637
>Northwestern Europe is 3rd world
haha aite Tucker

[Anonymous No.8783730]

>>8782448
well I like women modest and not looking like streetwalkers, how about you

[Anonymous No.8783735]

>>8783637
>Switzerland
>3rd World
Wew

[Anonymous No.8783741]

>>8783722
>overrun by islam
>first world
jej

[Anonymous No.8783752]

>>8783741

[Anonymous No.8783758]

>>8783752
europe isn't 1st world

[Anonymous No.8783818]

>>8783735
well, by the book definition Switzerland IS a third world country. its not a 'developing country", but it is a neutral fence-hopper

[Anonymous No.8783845]

>>8783818
No, by the book 3rd world means "not allied with NATO or Soviets" and since soviets don't exist anymore the term is fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.8783862]

>>8783758
1st 2nd & 3rd world are NATO, Warsaw pact and unaffiliated.

Though I get what you are saying, Western Europe is just a polished version of Eastern Europe. Cramped, everyone lives in dog boxes, tiny cars, lots of shitty muslims and ethnic enclaves.

[Anonymous No.8783867]

>>8783845
well, was or is switzerland allied with one of them? no? well, I guess its YOU who's retarded.
to reiterate:
>nuurgh-uh, you're retarded

[Anonymous No.8783874]

children aren't allowed to have food dishes with rice.

[Anonymous No.8783895]

>>8783867
The Swiss never joined NATO specifically but worked closely with them many times. Partnership for peace etc.

[Anonymous No.8783897]

>>8782420

...
...
autism..

[Anonymous No.8783918]

>>8783895
oh, please, those fencehoppers work closely together with anyone who can pay. literally three quaters of their people work in the service sector, they bend over backwards and get tips from every side. and it works out for them. but they still are as neutral as it gets. they're not allied with anyone but bank accounts

[Anonymous No.8783958]

>>8782420
Who the fuck goes to resurants for this to be a fucking problem?

If you go to any resturant that is fancier than your avarage cafe/lunch joint more that 3 times a year you literally need to kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.8783972]

>>8783693
Yes, having a kid is not only a pain, but crippling.
At least past 5 months.

[Anonymous No.8783974]

>>8783730
>skirt
>modest

[Anonymous No.8784037]

>>8782438
this asians are ok (no mainland chinese though) ,but the others can sit in teh chimpanzee area.

[Anonymous No.8784045]

>>8783722
>Northwestern Europe is 3rd world
In five years, yeah pretty much

[Anonymous No.8784046]

>>8783718
Wow nice, I really believe that.

[Anonymous No.8784061]

>>8782618
>Will never eat at MUMMY MILKIES the cafe.
Tell me to pull the trigger ck.

[Anonymous No.8784068]

>>8782420
You should really uptight maybe you need to go out and mingle amongst the rest of human kind.

[Anonymous No.8784114]

>>8782420
>beer must be served at room temprature

Holy shit. I wish I was as braindeadretarded as OP

[Anonymous No.8784116]

>>8783958
t. flyover

[Anonymous No.8784144]

>>8784061
tfw u have a nice mommy gf that feeds you milkies and cummies

[Anonymous No.8784148]

>>8782420
Man, that went from reasonable to asshole pretty quickly. Good job OP.

[Anonymous No.8784221]

>>8782752
Fuck off to reddit

[Anonymous No.8784232]

Parties requesting booths or private seating areas must fill them to capacity, no exceptions.

[Anonymous No.8784244]

>>8782430
Then fucking smoke at home. Keep your nasty habit out of places people eat.

[Anonymous No.8784262]

>>8783730
You sound like a cuck.

[Anonymous No.8784503]

>>8782438
Yeah. I don't want to sit with no racist white people lmao

[Anonymous No.8784515]

>>8782477
Of course soda refills should be free. A glass only costs them like 7 cents, and they charge $2-3.

[Anonymous No.8784609]

>>8782420

The autism ... it burns

[Anonymous No.8784630]

>>8783112
I actually agree 100%, you seem to be a decent person

[Anonymous No.8784631]

>>8783058
>> Smoking area away from the entrance, out of earshot of the restaurant and with fans to blow the smoke away.

You can be in a 4000sqft space with windows and ceiling fans every 10 feet, and I guarantee a non-smoker on one side will still smell that shit coming from the other side. Just because there's not a cloud being blown in your face, doesn't mean it's not an offensive smell.

Barring smoking from most indoor establishments was absolutely the right choice. I say that as a smoker of 20 years, who just quit in January of '16.

[Anonymous No.8784633]

>>8782950
>customer with lazy eye comes in
>gets banned for not looking waiter in the eye

[Anonymous No.8784641]

>>8783094
>bartender
>doesn't smoke
Find me literally a single bartender that doesn't smoke. I fucking dare you

[Anonymous No.8784647]

>>8783112
>enact no smoking at restaurant rule
>all the BOH staff leaves except for the one faggot who only smokes weed

[Anonymous No.8784652]

>>8783665
>thinking you're entitled to any food you want because you sit down at a table

[Anonymous No.8784661]

>>8783267
>> All soda must come from glass bottles

Fun fact, soda in glass bottles is less carbonated than from cans or 2 liters. It's a safety issue. This is a problem for people that like their cokes poured over ice, like myself. They're pretty much flat at that point unless you rinse the ice first (so remove particles and sharp edges that trigger bubbling), and pour at an angle to the side of the cup from a 1/4" distance.

[Anonymous No.8784686]

>>8783129
Nose rings look retarded and hand tattoos pretty much mean you have a sub room temperature IQ and will be on some form of tax payer assisted life, welfare, prison or nuthouse is up to you... oh wait fuck I'm actually replying to a tripfag.

[Anonymous No.8784695]

>>8782752
fuck, please tell me you're just baiting

[Anonymous No.8785051]

>>8782420
Patrician gourmetorium

[Anonymous No.8785071]

>>8782752
This. Respect the rules, respect the mods

[Anonymous No.8785120]

>>8784633
As long as he speaks audibly, he's still in.

[Anonymous No.8785207]

>>8784686
you haven't been to a grungy hippy place then. There's this place I go that has a hipster waitress with nose rings and holy fuck I have never been so aroused in my life.

[Anonymous No.8786220]

>>8782420
>beers must be served room temperature
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.8786242]

>>8786220
cold beer has less beer flavor. Any beer that's "best served ice cold" basically tastes like shit and is just for chugging.

[Anonymous No.8786320]

>>8783456
No you capitalist plebe, the customer isn't always right and you can deny service to anyone.

[Anonymous No.8786325]

>>8786242
Beer is majority water, anon.

[Anonymous No.8786330]

>>8783112
yeah, pretty much this.
nice touch on the coffee/tea. Would not have thought of that

[Anonymous No.8786335]

-OP must be forcefully subdued, beaten, murdered, and cooked into a hearty stew
-this hearty stew should be poured out in the gutter
-homemade limeades

[Anonymous No.8786337]

>>8783069
Not everyone builds bonfires out of treated pallets, you Jersey shore grease ball.

[Anonymous No.8786346]

>>8783129
>nose ring can be perfectly fine
how about kys, they are fucking disgusting.

[Anonymous No.8787661]

>>8782420
Food must be reasonably priced.

That's it. Fuck restaurants, in 99% of the cases I can make better food and waste a lot less money/time/effort in the process. What's even the point?

[Anonymous No.8787701]

>>8782430
Good. Smoke at home you selfish prick, people don't want to breathe that shit.

You want to get lung cancer go ahead but don't make others suffer from your shitty addiction.

[Mr. Jinks !//AChEron. No.8787708]

>>8784630
>>8786330
Thanks B. <3

>>8784647
Oh I meant for customers. Staff are one thing, but as a customer keep that shit away from me when I'm enjoying a meal.

>>8785207
Fuck yeah dude. :D

>>8786346
Fuck you and your boring sense of aesthetics you sack of rat shit!

[Anonymous No.8787713]

>>8782430
THIS is what you take issue with?
You and OP should go choke on each other's dick so you'll die from something else than cancer.

[Anonymous No.8787721]

>>8783064
>but the occasional exposure to smoke if you go to a bar or restaurant? No fucking way that's affecting my health to an appreciable degree.

>I don't understand what cumulative damage is
It's ok to be a clueless and ignorant but please don't share your idiotic opinions with other people.