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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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8414053 No.8414053 [Reply] [Original]

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever consumed?

I pissed on a bitch once and she swallowed some of it, dirty slag. I imagine she'd let me shit in het mouth too but that ain't my steez.

I remember when I was a kid I dropped a Popsicle in some soil and ate it anyway. That's about as good as I have.

I also ate a jam doughnut after using it as a masturbatory aid but I guess that's not that fucked up

>> No.8414374

>>8414053

I used to eat the same thing, every day, for roughly two years. I started by putting marinade in a covered glass casserole dish, then three to four frozen chick thighs skin-down so that the marinade covered them half-way. I'd cover and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes, then flip them, pat the skin dry, rub with oil, and bake another 30 minutes. Take the lid off and broil until the skin got crispy.

The next day, I'd repeat. But here's the kicker: I never replaced the liquid. I'd just re-cook it with the same liquid, every day, for days on end. Eventually, all the water evaporated and was replaced by fat that had leached out of the chicken. So by about a month in, I was cooking my chicken thighs in a dish full of many chickens worth of chicken fat.

I didn't clean the dish more than once every six months or so.

>> No.8414377

Rice with maggots

>> No.8414383

what the fuck is wrong with you people

>> No.8414389
File: 13 KB, 321x306, 339.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8414389

>>8414053
>I also ate a jam doughnut after using it as a masturbatory aid but I guess that's not that fucked up
>I guess that's not that fucked up

>> No.8414391

>>8414374

I should also note that I only replaced the liquid when it started growing this pink mold/slime stuff on the lid.

I also left the frozen chicken in the liquid overnight once on accident, I just cooked it at a higher temp the next day to be safe.

> tfw my vegan gf uses the same dish (albeit cleaned since then) to make stuff

>> No.8414467

>>8414053
In high school biology lab long, long ago people pooled their money and offered me $30.00 to eat a live baby rat. It was still young enough that it didn't have hair, so I did it. The drawback was they stipulated I had to chew it at least 3 times. That was nauseating, but I didn't puke. $30.00 was a lot of money back then for a high schooler. The biology teacher just thought the mother had eaten one of the litter, lel.

>> No.8414475

>>8414467
Fucking nightmarish.

>> No.8414950

I ate paint once in 8th grade to win an eight dollar bet. The teacher was PISSED.

>> No.8414995

>>8414950
Cool. I'm the guy that ate the rat. How many spoonfulls did you have to eat for $8.00? I hope you're as old as I am because even one spoonful doesn't seem very reasonable in terms of contemporary money.

>> No.8415004

>>8414995
Just one. This was about 16 years ago.

>> No.8415054

>be 14 or so during early 2000's
>jackass is the coolest thing on tv
>buddies and i always trying retarded stunts and challenges
>running around our shitty ghetto neighborhood
>find half full bottle of dr pepper lying in gutter, covered in muck
>try to impress friends, pick it up and start chugging
>probably have some kind of crackhead hep c or something now

>much later in life, ex gf has coupon for nasty frozen buffalo tendies
>they sit around forever, she remembers them and pops them in microwave
>"oh no anon, it looks like they went bad and have white fuzzy mold now"
>she throws them in trash
>later in the evening i go on a bender and get obliterated
>come home and knock shit around while looking for food
>remember moldy trash tendies
>sit on kitchen floor eating them up whilst scraping off the mold all over my shirt

I'm disgusting

>> No.8415059

sucked a mango that had tiny worms
ate a rotten sandwich from garbage because hadn't eaten outside food for a while

>> No.8415072

>>8414053
Sour milk. It's the worst fucking thing ever.

>> No.8415250

Maggots with rice

>> No.8415258

>>8414053
Your mum's fat cunt, you insufferable faggot.

>> No.8415272

>>8414053
Ate an earbud from some headphones once, plasticized shit comes out smooth.

>> No.8415275

found a grain of rice in my maggots once but I couldn't be bothered fishing it out so I just ate it

>> No.8415296

>>8414053
Spoiled octopus in disguise as a prank. It was a rough few days.

>> No.8415304

I chased vodka with my own piss

>> No.8415310

>>8414053
Had a friend over and he was eating McNuggets before we started drinking. He didn't finish them and just tossed like 6 of them in my trash, but they were still in the box. Get really drunk together and go to a party. Smoke a couple bowls at the party. Get back at like 3:00 AM with the munchies since I was cross faded as fuck. Saw the box of McNuggets in my trash. Thought fuck it and pulled it out. Ate all of them. Honestly they weren't that bad aside from being cold. Took another swig of rum to kill any bacteria then I passed out.

>> No.8415314

>>8415304
I thought that said penis at first.

>> No.8415501

>>8415310
Get out.

>> No.8415533

I ate bat in the P.I. And no, it did not taste like chicken...

>> No.8415572

>>8414053

Its a Tie between these two:

* Fried Chicken Livers from Kroger deli, now normally I like fried chicken livers. But I got a batch that was poorly cooked or something, they were green on the inside and literally tasted like feces. I barfed hard and repeatedly (but at least I didnt get food poisoning somehow)


* I had a seasoned Pizza Stone I fixed some kinda cake stuff on, being a college poorfag who received this pizza stone from my aunt.

Normally I made homemade Pizza on it and it was delicious.

Except that after I made the Cake on it, the next Pizza I ate tasted mildly of Vanilla. Not enough to be its own thing, and not light enough to ignore. Overall this destroyed the taste of that pizza.

I even made up dough several times and cooked it on the stone afterwards just to bleed off the flavor. But the next couple legit pizzas I made on it also still tasted slightly of that vanilla flavor.

So that was pretty fucked up.

>> No.8415640

>>8414053
For me, its.the McChicken.

>> No.8415658
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8415658

>>8414053
Human cartilage.
Wanna hear how?

>> No.8415712

>>8415658
Nope. Thanks though.

>> No.8415783

>>8415658
Yes, go on

>> No.8415833

>>8414950
>have vague memories of eating glue in grade school
>coulda been paid for that shit

why did I stop

>> No.8415841

>>8415658
Mason Verger?

>> No.8415915

This one time I lost a bet with my friends and had to eat at arby's

>> No.8415939

>>8415915
Nice meme but Arbys is fucking delicious

>> No.8415964

>>8415712
You lost by popular vote.
>>8415783
>>8415841
I had a little shitlord sucker punch me in the nose and broke it.
Doctor didn't really do shit, but the tip of my nose started to annoy the fuck out of me so the bugger hook found a chunk of nose support and I crunched on it.

>> No.8415967

>>8414374
>>8414391

Dude c'mon! why!??!?!

>> No.8415981

>>8415054
>I'm disgusting

Yes.

>> No.8415986

>>8415275
Kek

>> No.8415987

>>8415296
You pranked yourself?

>> No.8417578
File: 89 KB, 634x725, 31B353F300000578-3468799-image-a-59_1456766986250.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8417578

my own saliva

wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy

have bacteria in my mouth that expelled theirtxing during all night

acidic pH

i swallow my saliva by accident

>> No.8417581

>>8417578
>theitxing

their toxins*

>> No.8417586

Bird shit. I ate bird shit once when I was 5.

>> No.8417589

I put a single Popcorn in my butt, just between the cheeks, not too far in. Kept it for about 10 minutes. Then ate it.

>> No.8417977

Elexir rubea; that is, a mixture of semen, vaginal fluid and menstrual blood. Not bad. Maaaan my early 20s where a weird time...

>> No.8417980

>>8417589
Why 10 minutes?

>> No.8418093

>>8417977
How would you describe the flavor? I can't say I've ever had, or will have, the experience.

>> No.8418115

>>8414053
>I also ate a jam doughnut after using it as a masturbatory aid

I ate a buttered piece of bread that I used to fap with

>> No.8418701
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8418701

>>8415964
>>>
oh

>> No.8418809

>>8415967

Lazy and it tasted good

>> No.8418821

>>8414467
Would've done it for 10$ desu

>> No.8418872
File: 523 KB, 656x576, 1480358934363.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8418872

>>8414053
Speaking of getting sick:

> be me
> get 2 loaves of chocolate chip pumpkin bread in mail from mom
> bread's good, not too sweet
> have some two nights later, cause munchies
> eat 1/3 of a loaf, watch a movie, go to be
> about 1:50am
> jolt awake
> make it to bathroom just before violently puking in the toilet
> do this about 5 more times tool just dry heaving a couple times
> WHY THE FUCK
> kneel in front of porcelain savior about 10 minutes
> back to bed, I guess

I checked the other loaf the next morning; see, the first one had been really moist to begin with (and I had fixed that late night snack in a dark kitchen..) and I wondered if there might have been something wrong with em.

The first now gone, I unwrapped the second to find it fucking covered in patches of this white/teal-ish mold.

I chucked that bitch in the trash and went and threw up again.

>> No.8418959

>>8414053
Had some shit in Guam once that was basically fried pork cartilage. It was tough, greasy, and gross.

>> No.8418972

>>8415939
Curly fries are their best food item by far imo

>> No.8419360

>>8414053
Don't be fooling yo self, that last part is fucked up too.

>> No.8419362

>>8414053
10 years, two weeks, and 5 hours ago I took a giant swig from my "dr pepper"....only to realize it was actually my buddies spitoon for chewing tobacco while finishing a Theoretical Physics Take Home Final....

I've never thrown up more in my entire life

>> No.8419409

>>8414053

>I pissed on a bitch once

Uh. Why?

>> No.8419417

>>8415964

dude....

>> No.8419989

>>8414053
pesto panna cotta

>> No.8420143

>>8414374
nothing wrong with chicken confit m8

>> No.8420158

>>8419362
While reading your post I literally gagged. Thanks, it was very cathartic.

>> No.8420159

>>8419409
not him, but i was really drunk and pissed on my wife in our bed once. apparently i kept muttering that there were demons in her and i needed to pee on her to "cleanse" her and drive them out.

>> No.8420163

>>8419362
>>8420158
dip is the only thing that makes me gag even thinking about it. i was once peer-pressured into dipping a whole can of grizzly wintergreen when i was 13.

i didn't throw up, but god, i wish i had.

>> No.8420173

>>8420158

I've done this as well, only the spit was in a gatoraide bottle and i was frantically looking for something to chase bacardi 151 with

>> No.8420181

>>8414053
My shit

Multiple times

>> No.8420208

>>8414053
I drank dish soap when I was young. There was a party to be happening soon, so my mom put soda's underneath the sink for some extra room.
I went underneath and found something green, and opened the lid, took a gulp. I stopped.

>> No.8420301

>>8420159
Are you an evangelical from Mississippi by any chance? That's quite common here.

>> No.8420318

Half eaten pizza slice covered in mold that was over two werks old.
I thought I would die, but nothing happened.

>> No.8420480

>>8420318
How was the flavor?

>> No.8420615

>>8418701
>>8419417
It wasn't exactly interesting to chew on to be honest.
I guess cartilage is cartilage.

>> No.8420703

>>8420301
from the midwest, raised in tennessee and lived in biloxi for a year or so. christian, not evangelical.

this happened in oakland, CA—but startlingly good powers of deduction!

>> No.8420779

>>8414053
I ate a rabbits left eye once in survival school.

>> No.8420920

This medicine I had to take for something when I was a kid, 8 maybe. I don't remember the sickness but boy oh boy do I remember the medicine. Cold, chunky, and grape flavored. Haunts me to this day.

>> No.8421021

>>8420615
The fuck is wrong with you?!

>> No.8421184

>>8419409
Bit of fun innit.

>> No.8421278

>>8420143

I called it that at the time, the problem in hindsight was that most of the fat was almost certainly rancid