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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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8305869 No.8305869 [Reply] [Original]

What's the worst food poisoning you've ever gotten?

I ate some enchiladas from a food cart on the side of the road in San Diego and shit myself 25 minutes later. I couldn't get out of bed for 4 days and lost about 15lbs. My dad had to rub a lube around my asshole because my constant shitting had burned the skin off it

>> No.8305874

>>8305869

The constant wiping would have done that to you, but other than that ouch

>> No.8305878
File: 80 KB, 300x188, 1446271331650.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8305878

>>8305869
>My dad had to rub a lube around my asshole

>> No.8305879

I wish Mexican food wasn't so good, then I'd avoid the torture after.

>> No.8305913

>>8305869
>25 Minutes.
It's unlikely it was food poisoning from the cart food anon.

>> No.8305927

>>8305869
When it's this bad just rinse your butt with the shower head, no wiping.

>> No.8305929

>go to local pizza place that I've been to many times without a problem
>usually staff are friendly and nice to each other as well but that day they seemed oddly surly to each other
>order delicious pizza
>eat delicious pizza
>next evening or maybe the evening after that
>feel a great disturbance in the force
>as if millions of pepperonis suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced
>run to the bathroom
>cramps so bad I turned pasty grey white and seriously considered going to the ER
>shit my guts out while trying to figure out how to sit on the toilet while leaning into the tub in case I had to puke too
>puke out what's left of my guts, thankfully not at the same time as shitting
>marvel at how comfortable a bathroom floor can be at a time like this, so nice and cool, better than a bed
>puke every half hour or so for like a day
>in bed with a bucket with water in the bottom in case I have to barf, which I do several times a day for another day or two
>shit out remaining organs over the next several days
>few days pass, not really feeling better yet
>call nurse helpline to figure out whether to go to the hospital
>she says if there's no improvement in 3 days or so, see a doctor
>thankfully start feeling better about 2 days after that
>takes another few days for me to fully recover

husband ate the same pizza and was completely fine. I don't remember what else we ate that day/the day before, but I remember we couldn't trace it back to anything I'd eaten different from him. figured it was probably the pizza because the timing was about right, and because I guessed if there was some friction between the staff, they might have been distracted while they were cooking and put expired sausage on it or something, idk. I didn't go back there for a while, but when I did it was fine as always. 10/10 pizza, would eat there again.

>> No.8305944

>>8305929
l-lewd...

>> No.8305955

>>8305929
I'm going to assume your gender in order to make this story slightly more arousing to me.

>> No.8305959

>>8305869
Dam son, send me some of those. 15lbs in four days exceeds DNP

>> No.8305970

>went with ex gf to a mexican place and a turkish delight cart after
>both ate exactly the same things
>wake up the next morning with massive fever and diarrhea
>ex gf bails on me and goes back to her dad's
>was so weak and void of energy that my parents had to pick me up from an hour away so that I could get some care

another one:

>went with friends stay at a country house for an extended weekend
>we order pizzas: mine had cheese and theirs hadn't
>digestion stops in the middle of the night
>wake up with massive weight in my stomach
>force it out by puking
>massive stomach cramps afterwards, cant eat or drink anything
>take pill for cramps and pain without eating
>pill just makes it all worse
>2 hour drive up the mountains to visit this special river beach
>sun was way too hot and water way too cold
>had to lay down by the nearby café with a hot tea in hand
>eventually we go, fall asleep in the car
>wake up much better
>later that night and the following day I shit uncontrollably every hour or so
>next day im fine

i still don't know what happened, but it was vicious.

>> No.8306225

>>8305929

You must be a serious pussy-ass faggot if you vomit for multiple days with food poisoning. Pathetic.

Even the worst norovirus had me vomiting every hour for like.. 4-6 hours and then just stomach pains and fever for the rest of it. Fucking pussy.

>> No.8306231

Got food poisoning after eating a tub of nuts. It was summer in Oz and 30+ degrees celsius. I was ill for 3 - 4 days, shitting diarrhoea full of tiny nut chunks / fragments / shrapnel everywhere, resulting in a very sore arse. Couldn't even look at nuts for years afterwards. Shit was not cash.

>> No.8306235

>>8306231
You lie.
You don't get food poisoning from eating nuts.

>inb4 some stupid wiki link.

>> No.8306242

>>8306235
Not lying. I was shitting nuts everywhere. I guess they might have been rancid although they tasted perfectly fine.

>> No.8306256

>>8305959
Just do a dry fast, you'll have the same effect (because it's all water weight you're losing).


To answer OP's question, in 32 years of life I've never gotten food poisoning, despite not being at all cautious or squeamish about what I eat.
Moral of the story, man the fuck up pussy.

>> No.8306259

>>8305869
Dad gave me some chicken wings covered in marinade

they werent fully cooked and i didnt notice the blood until id eaten a few of them and i got mad diarrhea and lost like 10kg in a few days

>> No.8306266

>>8306242
It must have been something else my colonial friend, there is very little with nuts that would cause this.

Whatever it was you will shit nuts anyway.

I know there have been surveys about bar-nuts and people washing their hands but I have NEVER had any problems with this.
3-4 days means a little more than a simple crap covered nut.

>> No.8306408

>>8305869
>be 11
>mom's birthday
>go to ruby tuesday with her
>get a burger
>Burger was a solid 6.5/10
>little greasy but bearable
>later that night
>laying in bed
>have to fart
>fart just a little bit
>fucking avalanche of shit comes out
>I lay in my own shit for a good half hour contemplating what had just happen
>run to the bathroom
>wash my ass
>too ashamed to tell parents i shit the bed at age 11
>remove pajamas and hide them behind a drawer
>sometime in between me going to the bathroom and the next morning i throw up
>parents come up and ask about my bed
>told them the shitstain on my bed was from me throwing up
>the same shit happened 3 years later st the same ruby tuesdays

They're fries are okay though

>> No.8306621

>>8306408
>When I was like 14 I slept over at a friends house and his dad gave us some beers
>I went to sleep and dreamt I was pissing
>Woke up and sure enough Id pissed the bed
>I'd never pissed the bed in my life, not since I was like a baby or whatever
>Panic
>Get up and grab a glass of water
>Drop the water all over myself
>'oh yeah I spilt my water'
>Next time i goto his house to sleep over about a year later I get explosive diarrhea
>Shit literally everywhere, in my undies, on the wall of the toilet, i'd never seen anything like that before
>Have a shower
>Hey I'm going home
>Never go back to his house
>Never piss the bed again or get explosive diarrhea
>I think his house is cursed

>> No.8306834

Potato salad made with rancid mayonnaise.

Salmonella is really fucking bad. I thought the fever was going to kill me and the weird dreams were literally hell. It went away after one night, though.

>> No.8306958

>>8306259
how fucking much of a fat fuck you have to be to eat several raw chicken wings without noticing?!?!?

>> No.8306959

>>8306958
When theyre burnt on the outside and covered in marinade... I don't remember how many I ate but it wasnt many. 1-3.

>> No.8306992
File: 1.14 MB, 852x854, IMG_4865.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8306992

It was foot long hot dog day at school in kindergarden, and I had a packed lunch. I threw a tantrum until my mom came to school and gave me money for it.

I got the worst food poisoning of my life from it. For the rest of my life, when I got sick, I'd get emotional and crazy.

>> No.8307015
File: 12 KB, 258x245, 1478444051012.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8307015

>>8306992
>foot long hot dog day at school in kindergarden
Do Americans really do this?

>> No.8307027

>>8306992
>for the rest of your life, whenever you got sick
so, are you dead now? is there something on the other side?

>> No.8307243

Recently after eating Chinese I was getting these disgusting sulfric burps I haven't had since I was a kid where the taste alone made me vomit which also tastes the same which makes me vomit even more. I think I was in the bathroom for 2 hours straight with nonstop vomiting to the point where I was just throwing up any sort of liquid that was in my stomach. Then came the shitting. It even made my Ulcerative Colitis worse so I was shitting blood the next two weeks.

>> No.8307334

>spend the weekend in a seaside town with my ex gf, a couple of years back
>saturday afternoon we stop by a cute bakery picking up pastries for the following morning
>I eat my apple tart happily, we pack our bags and leave with her car
>I'm driving and I start to feel weaker and weaker, I'm sweating and my breath draws short
>We get to her town's train station, I'm a bit weak now but I shrug it off, say bye to my gf
>get to the ticket machine and start seeing black
>ohno.jpg
>I manage to walk to the station's pharmacy shop, buy anti-emetic but I look like a heroin addict, pale as fuck, sweaty, confused
>train ride's only an hour, I can make it
>I manage to hold everything inside, at this point I'm shivering and I feel like I'm dying, but the train is stopping, I think I made it home
>as soon as I stand up to get off I collapse, get on my hands and knees and I basically puke 5 buckets' worth of yellowy goo in one hit, throw in 2-3 farts as well

And that's why I'll never eat an apple tart again. public humiliation aside it wasn't that bad. a couple of ladies offered me a plastic bag to puke in and a bottle of water afterwards. I managed to get off and go home safely. I'm sorry for the guy who had to clean that up though.

>> No.8307337

I got food poisoning from shrimp quesadillas.

Spent the week coming home from school and having to take an awful shit.

>> No.8307346

>>8307337

that's what you get for eating fucking insects

>> No.8307446

>>8306242
>>8306266
On deployment I ate a pound of peanuts one day, nothing else. I paid dearly the next day. Clearly wasn't food poisoning because I could make it down 4 decks to berthing to get to the head... but that was painful AF.

>> No.8307482

>>8307346
Whilst both shrimp and insects are all arthropods (along with 80% of all species on earth) shrimp are not insects

>> No.8307578

>>8305869
Congrats you have now had AUTHENTIC mexican food.

>> No.8307666

>>8305913
This. Food takes like at least an hour or two just to exit the stomach.

>> No.8307723
File: 499 KB, 449x642, 1475966338694.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8307723

>>8305869
I've gone blind for a minute and lost a ton of cognitive function after eating some moldy brownies once, had to stumble to the bathroom, no idea how that works

>> No.8308097

>>8305929
How does having water at the bottom of the bucket make a difference?

>> No.8308102

>>8305970
>pizzas: mine had cheese and theirs hadn't
who orders a fucking pizza without cheese? I wish they had gotten sick instead.

>> No.8308138
File: 121 KB, 400x400, 1411848090138-1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8308138

>by myself at a cabin
>need some food
>go fishing in the river a mile down the hill
>catch a 13 inch trout on first cast
>first time I have been fishing in awhile so I forget to clean it in river and start following stream back up the mountain to the cabin
>realize my mistake when I get back
>to tired to want to go down and back up
>in bear country so I don't want to dispose guts nearby
>stream has running water and decide its fine
>make delicious fried lemon trout
>next day right before go out hiking I feel a disturbance
>I could only see this playing out poorly so I stay in
>Pain slowly building from constipation the whole day
>by night I'm rolling on the floor of the bathroom that hadn't been cleaned for at least 10 years just wanting nothing more than to shit and throw up
>it finally comes and literal liquid starts spraying from ass for a whole minute
>none of the pain is gone
>after another round 20 minutes later I just decide to pass
>diarrhea the whole next day
no regrets

not exactly food poisoning but
>drinking a gallon of water a day
>finished my jug for the day
>have a headache
>try smoking weed to see if it helps, not really
>promised friend I would visit him at FNM
>figured shop would have medicine, lol nope
>fill up bottle again and start drinking while sitting around talking with friend while he plays magic
>a couple hours go by and I realize I had drank another whole gallon of water
>feeling nauseous for 30 min before going outside
>make it 10 steps before ejecting water and stomach acid 8 feet into an empty parking spot just barley missing a car
>Found some grass and threw up again
>Find friend and act like nothing happened

>> No.8308147

>>8307723
>after eating some moldy brownies
How did you manage to miss the fact that they were moldy by appearance, but then, implied by the word "some" manager to eat more than a single bite without noticing they were moldy?

>> No.8308148

>>8305927
na you got to soak in the tub, instant ass burn cure.

been drinking a lot of water, and it just shoots right through me.

>> No.8308171

>>8305874
I was laid up with some debilitating shitting disease recently, ended up just not wiping, I was home alone so it didn't really matter, couldn't handle the raw asshole anymore.

>> No.8308194

>>8307666

maybe people with slow metabolisms like you :^)

My dad brought back some marinated raw fish from overseas and had it in his carry-on for a 16hour flight. In the morning, my mom fried it, we ate it, an hour later both us broke out in hives and had bright red faces. The nice lady doc at the ER told us when fish die, they release histamine so we basically ate pure histamine in fish form and gave ourselves an allergic reaction. Also shat water for a couple days after that.

>> No.8308214
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8308214

I don't know what gave me the food poisoning. I had it narrowed down to two things:
1. midnight Taco Bell
2. convenience store pizza

>feel slight nausea for much of the week
>nausea gets stronger and stronger one night
>laying on couch trying not to puke
>sudden urge to puke
>grab waste basket from living room and try to make it to toilet, fill a gallon-sized trashcan halfway with vomit standing in the bathroom
>still want to puke but nothing left in stomach
>drink water, puke again
>constant diarrhea shits and nausea, can't eat anything, barely keeping water and Gatorade down
>fever, chills, weakness, classic food poisoning symptoms
>lasts for about four days before fever breaks
>still feel like shit for a week after
>lose job because didn't show up three days in a row, even with calling in

It was probably the Taco Bell since I didn't get really ill until after eating that, but I had been feeling pretty nauseous for a couple days after the pizza, so I really don't know. I had never been sick from that Taco Bell location and the regulars were working. Whatever.

>> No.8308217

I've had a dry itchy mouth since I licked out this fat girl 18 months ago

She was a virgin so not STI but probably just some nasty juices up in there

>> No.8308219
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8308219

>>8306225
>every person experiences illness the same as you and every foodborne illness is the same as what you experienced

I know you're just shitposting but you triggered me anyway. Asshole.

>> No.8308433

>>8305929
Why put water at the bottom of the barf bucket, is this some kind of life hack?

>> No.8308447

>>8308217
That's thrush man get some fucking anti fungal meds

>> No.8308611

>>8305929
years ago I was in bed for four days, feverish from dehydration, vomit almost immediately after every sip of water, fever dreams about the chicken mayo sandwich from the really cheap deli, legs shaky for a week afterwards, stairs are exhausting

still doesn't even compare to the 8 hour hell I had last week. had no idea laying on a cold grimy bathroom floor could be so blissful

>> No.8308643

one time I ate some very expired dried fruit and promptly blacked out 15 minutes later on my way to the bathroom. vision just disintegrated and I woke up on the floor barely able to crawl my pale ass to the toilet for an intimate puke session.

>> No.8308677

>>8305869
>gets food poisoning
>blames the last thing they ate
*sigh*

anyway I got awful food poisoning in vietnam, my family fucked off to the beach leaving me shitting myself in the shower for 12 hours

shower is good, only place you can vomit, shit and drink water at the same time
no wiping also means no sandpaper asshole

I think it was seafood, but I couldn't be sure

>> No.8308762
File: 42 KB, 486x341, 6444834069413888.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8308762

>>8305869
>>8305927
>>8308148

Don't you have a bidet?

>> No.8308778

>>8305869
Puffer fish frittata from a roadside stand. I went blind for three days.
I still talk with a british accent 5 years later.

>> No.8308783

>>8306408

I have an uneaten Ruby Tuesday's burger in my fridge, you fuck. I got too filled up at the salad bar.

Worst food poisoning was probably when I ate some southern-style potato salad (has a mustard base or something) from some grocery store deli. The projectile vomit was like something out of a movie. I couldn't eat that kind of potato salad for years, just the sight and smell of it made me queasy. I like it now though.

>> No.8308831
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8308831

>at home during winter break from college
>dad and I see an ad for Dominoes sandwiches
>decide to order 4: 2 Italian subs for us and 2 chicken subs for my mom and sister
>eat them at the same time at around 7pm, I have about 3 beers with it too
>9pm rolls around and I feel really flushed and unfocused, decide to go to bed
>I get more nauseous and uncomfortable
>run to toilet to puke, puke, rinse out mouth, go back to room
>feel even fucking worse and run to toilet to shit
>shit, wipe, and curl up in fetal position on bathroom floor
>drink a small amount of water and immediately vomit that up
>try shitting again and nothing comes out, flip around and try vomiting again and nothing comes out
>constant stomach and abdominal cramps at 15 minute intervals as there is no more matter in my body to expel anymore
>can hear my dad downstairs vomiting too
>spent the whole 12 hours from 9pm-9am tryig to shit or vomit, can't even take down water
>get maybe 45 minutes of sleep the whole time
>as the sun comes up I manage to return to my room and my mom yells at me for staying up all night
>the rest of the week can only drink Gatorade and white bread

This was about 6~7 years ago and only recently have I been able to try dominoes again. Their food is shit. It was the worst pain i've had without requiring a hospital visit

>> No.8308834

>>8306225

>internet tough guy bragging about surviving a weaker virus than most people have had in this thread

you haven't had real food poisoning, scrub, and you sound like an incredible faggot.

>> No.8308866

>staying at nice hotel in SF on work trip
>eat at Thai place food tastes real good but waitress terrible and everything is a little dirty
>go there a week later
>there's stinky recycling bin in the bathroom and boxes of rice
>go back to hotel
>wake up 4 hours later with fever, vomiting and the shits
>call up my HR coordinator
>please send air ambulance I'm dying
>tells me not to be a pussy I can see a doctor in the morning
>I survive the night somehow
>leave a note for housekeeping about food poisoning so they don't think I casually just pooped a little on their white sheets
>next day all I can manage is a single blender juice
>in the evening I crave cheese
>go to shitty hole in the wall place and buy a taco
>get back to hotel
>no cheese on it. Start to feel vomit forming
>throw entire thing away and sleep

Dirty Thai assholes. Would eat there again

>> No.8308877

>>8308097
Smell and less splattering back upwards I think.

>> No.8308913
File: 90 KB, 504x504, Vomit rocket.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8308913

I went to a Italian restaurant with my brother a few months ago that fucked me up real bad.

>Order sausage with pasta
>Quality of pasta is excellent, sausage tastes a bit off
>Assume it's just cilantro or some other herb/spice doing it
>Finish my meal and pay the bill, leave for home.
>Feel fine until I went to go to sleep
>Wake up in cold sweat and not sure why
>Churning in stomach, about to be sick
>Get up and try to make it to bathroom before inevitable vomit rocket
>Fail, try to cup vomit in hands to stop it from going everywhere
>Mouth filled with meal and burst through lips and hands like a burst in a dam
>Pasta, sausage, and sauce everywhere
>Get to bathroom door is open thankfully
>Drop rest of vomit in toilet
>Clean all the shit off the walls,floors,doors,etc...
>proceed to be sick for next few days or so

>> No.8308919

>>8305927
>not just shitting while submerged in a tub full of water

You guys can't even shit properly

>> No.8308967

all of these horrible stories are all reminders to COOK AT HOME

>> No.8309016
File: 50 KB, 358x600, fuckingshit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8309016

>>8305869
Fucking Chef Boyardee Spaghetti in a fucking can when I was 11 on a ski trip.

Vomited intermittently for about 3 days straight.

Never ate canned shit again.

I didn't even get to ski.

>> No.8309020

>>8308919

>swimming in your own shit

ok diaperfag

>> No.8309083

>>8305869
A friend of mine was trying to learn to cook, made some fajitas for a D&D game night. He fucked up and poisoned me and four other people by mistake with bad chicken.

About 5 hours of D&D later, we're all giving each other nervous looks. Two ended up in ER for the night, meanwhile I spent a full 17 hours locked in his downstairs bathroom and refused to leave because I was just shitting myself all over the floor if I stood up and I couldn't walk anyway because my asshole felt like somebody had jammed a pine tree up there and my legs were shot to fuck. I vaguely recall informing him violently and repeatedly that he had killed me and that I would haunt his shitter for the rest of time, but I was barely lucid after the first 6 hours. I definitely thought I was going to die for a while, though. When I finally emerged I must have been like 10lbs lighter, the bathroom resembled a scene from a horror movie, and I had ruined his magazine rack by vomiting into it like three times.

>> No.8310072

>>8308831
Man those sandwiches were pretty good

>> No.8310122

Little ceasars hot and ready. Got the shots and vomit for 2-3 days. Years later i tried little ceasars again got sick again. Never again.

>> No.8310163

>>8308778
Underrated post

>> No.8310171

>>8305869

>get home from work
>hungry as fuck
>boil eggs on a small pot
>throw water out
>don't clean pot
>proceed to make a ramen on dirty pot
>ate the whole thing
>rumble starts
>"i'll just let out a lil fart no problem"
>SHART
>FUCK ITS NOT STOPPING
>rush to bathroom while undoing my belt
>shit coming out of anus at mach speed
>aim for toilet
>liquid shit splashes my asschecks
>after 15 minutes of nonstop shitting it finally ends
>toilet paper is covered in shit
>my clothes are covered in shit
>i'm covered in shit
>turn on shower and clean myself, my clothes and the bathroom
>realize i left a trail of shit from my room to the bathroom
>clean everything
>feel super weak
>proceed to pass out for two days straight

I just remember waking up during those two days and not being able to move at all.

>> No.8310178

>>8308171

Top Tip for next time: baby wipes

>> No.8310183

>>8305869
Got a rotovirus a few months back from a Taco Bell chicken burrito, lasted for three and a half weeks. I have a poor immune system, I get seriously ill at least 3 times a year from bronchitis, pneumonia, the flu, strep and/or laryngitis. I had never been so sick in my life.
Couldn't stop shitting and throwing up. Ended up having to go to the ER on 6 occasions and get filled with saline and morphine to help constipate me and kill the severe pain and spasms I was having. I fainted three times and hit my head bad on one instance, couldn't eat or drink, I had only slept 13 hours in those weeks and lost 35 lbs. I almost died and it was scary as hell. Also made my arthritis and degenerative disk disease flare up which was excruciating. Also lost my job because I couldn't call in because I was in the ER passed out from morphine.
I'm the opposite of a depressed person and at the end of the sickness, before it started to relent, I was seriously thinking about suicide, not being dramatic or anything, it really made me feel like ending my life. My gut still isn't right

>> No.8310186

>>8310072

They fucked us up pretty good.

Nothing tasted off about them, just really mediocre quality. We still never figured out what was in it to make us both sick. I've never had food poisoning in my life up to that point so I never understood the difference between a bad stomach ache and a half day of your guts wanting to leave your hips, followed by a week of fever dreams and sports drink diet.

>> No.8310192

>>8305913

Nah, if it's really bad you'll feel it pretty fast since your entire gut just empties as it gets irritated.

>> No.8310200

>>8306235

You can get food poisoning from anything.

Some factory worker must have shoved them up his ass for shits and giggles before putting them back in the packing line.

>> No.8310206

>>8305913
Depends on the individual and type of bug I'd imagine, took me a day before I got symptoms here >>8310183

>> No.8310208

>>8306992
>American children have to pay money to eat at school

third world tier 2bh

>> No.8310272

>>8310183
kek

No, I sympathize. My wife and I got salmonella from a batch of sushi quality tuna which was recalled a week later. It hit her 2 hours before me. After 24 hours of continuous vomiting and diarrhea to where there was only bile left, the real pain began. Every cell of my body hurt excruciatingly. There was no sleep for 3 days. It was just a continual feverish waking nightmare; not a dream, but not real life either. We have dogs, and it took me an hour to crawl over to their food and fill their pans. Brutal.

After the third day, I muttered to my wife in bed next to me we were going to the hospital if we weren't better the next day. Fortunately, we started improving, but it took 3 weeks until we were 90%.

After that happened, I realized how people die from that shit, whereas I always scoffed at it before.

>> No.8310275

>>8307346
t. midwesterner

>> No.8310280

>>8310183
What the fuck, they fired you? I think you had a legitimate excuse. Tell the doctor to write you a note vouching you only had 1 HP left.

>> No.8310406

>>8310122
>Got the shots
huehuehue

>> No.8310444
File: 11 KB, 600x400, 1469982002736.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8310444

>>8308097
>He doesn't put water in his barf bucket

>> No.8310547

>>8310280
I didn't really care, had a month and a half gap between houses I was building, so I just took this small job for supplementary income. I had only been there a week and the pay was shit for the workload.

>> No.8310656

>going through a difficult time in life
>take a xanax, go to hang out with friends
>offered a beer, why not
>ihavenoideahowxanaxandalcoholinteract.jpg
>after first drink, enter autopilot, no memory.
>wake up at 5 am surrounded by vomit
>puke up black liquid, and anything else I try to ingest
>sick for an entire month, cannot pass solid food
>throw up water, throw up everything, nothing will leave through my ass.
>lose 20 pounds, gain new lease on life
>story of day told after the fact
>had a drink, had a few more drinks. Asked friends father why he doesn't bang his wife's sister
>ate an entire pizza, only barely cooked in the oven
>jump in local pool, get out, piss on self. Tell friends "You chose me as a friend"
>jump back in pool

Never again will I mix pills and alcohol, ended up having extreme gastritis. Tried to bash my own head in with a toilet seat during the worst of the sickness. I'm glad I don't remember eating that raw pizza.

>> No.8310678

>>8305913

Depends on what caused ut. If it was bacterial it could take days to develop. But your body can react violently to certain foods if it's rotten or something causes a gut disturbance.

>> No.8310687
File: 167 KB, 256x384, 1479327094785.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8310687

>>8305929

>>feel a great disturbance in the force

>as if millions of pepperonis suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

>> No.8310744

I've only had full on explosive food poisoning once. From a seafood cocktail in a shitty restaurant. Woke up in the night and felt like I was on acid. Vomit sprayed out with such force that it covered the walls of the toilet. Then I had to sit down on the puke covered seat and the same happened from the other end.

Not as violent, but longer lasting was when I ate sushi in a shitty beach town in Mexico. Lasted three days. The showers in the beach huts I was staying in were outside and all in a line. I shit in the shower by mistake and the water carried the liquid shit through the gap under the 'wall' and into all the other showers in the row. I heard people screaming and cursing.

>> No.8310753
File: 29 KB, 480x576, 1472268144945.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8310753

>>8305869
Well, I dont know if it was either the fact that i drank a gallon of water that i just left uncovered out in my room for about a week, or the expired burrito i microwaved, or the half of a handle of bargain-bin vodka i drank, but I spent about 12ish hours vomiting, crying and shitting. Can't say I'd recommend it.

>> No.8310769
File: 76 KB, 1178x825, Hack1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8310769

Public utility hack guys.
If you feel you just ate something that will make you sick have half a cup of white vinegar as quickly as humanly possible.
I dodged a couple of food poisonings like this, though it's mostly good for spoiled food and not so much for virus contamination.

>> No.8311178

>>8310186
just did the same diet 5 days of Gatorade and plain crackers I think I've managed to flush most of my guts down the toilet

>> No.8311209

>>8308762
>bidet

One of the reasons I don't go abroad is because I have no idea how these work, and it's impractical to ask people to demonstrate.

>> No.8311338

>>8305869
Was on a flight from 'Murica to Poland with a layover in Germany for work one time. Ate some McD's before my flight. Couple hours in, I woke up from a nap with the shits and sweats; still several hours from Frankfurt and had to get through customs there drenched in sweat. They almost didn't let me on my second flight because I looked so ill. I filled like 3 barf bags on the second flight while sitting on the shitter for most of it. Ate almost nothing for 3 days even though work was paying for any delicious thing I could have wanted. Felt bad, bro.

>> No.8311645

>>8308433

My stomach acid once burned through the plastic bottom of a bucket, maybe to dilute it so it doesn't do that?

>> No.8311649

>>8311645
It cuts the smell down

>> No.8311659

Ate expired caramel ice cream topping. It tastes fine but I woke up with violent diarrhea and vomiting. Called into work and almost lost my job because my boss accused me of 'wanting to go to football game' because it was opening day for baseball that day. So not that bad compared to some of you guys.

>> No.8311664

>>8305869
Chicken wings, chicken sandwich and cheesecake from a place called Bubba's in Key West. Guess I was asking for it. Puked and shit so much I got a rectal tear which abscessed and it put me in the hospital. One of the worst feelings in my life

>> No.8311698

>>8311649
And is easier to empty fast and then get back to bed

>> No.8311711

>>8308919
That's what hippos do.

>> No.8311800

>>8307334
>I'm sorry for the guy who had to clean that up though.

You had to go and remind me of the last time I got sick.
I dunno if it was food poisoning or a stomach bug, but I puked all over the parking lot at my work. I started midway through the lot and kept on every few feet. Thought I was in the clear when I got to my car, so I closed the door and ended up puking all over the inside on the door. Spent the next 24 hours throwing up every half hour to an hour. I lost about 6 pounds in water weight and was so fucking dehydrated. Last thing I ate before it was salted peanuts and I still can't look at them without feeling thirsty and ill. Mostly I feel bad for the maintenance workers who had to clean that up.