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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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8250824 No.8250824 [Reply] [Original]

I have a habit of collecting dumb shit that has happened on this board. Please add to my collection.

Also general /ck/ humor thread I guess

>> No.8250831
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>> No.8250836

This guy >>8250706 takes 10 minutes to cook an egg, but doesn't make bacon with the eggs because bacon takes 15 minutes.

>> No.8250847
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>> No.8250863
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oven bacon is superior but i'm not a picky bitch so I fry it in a pan like a normal human bean

>> No.8250874
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>half of these posts are me

>> No.8250923
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haha bro stop drinking while posting

>> No.8250985
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>> No.8251046
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>> No.8251427
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>> No.8251432 [DELETED] 
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>> No.8251577
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>> No.8251659

this one always gets me

>> No.8251693
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>> No.8251721
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>> No.8251749

That one is funny as fuck

>> No.8251755

If you're 45.

>> No.8251763
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>> No.8251771
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>> No.8251818

I'm 48, and fingerslicer brought me to tears.

>> No.8251834

this is gold

>> No.8251847

Anyone has the anon who gassed his own appartment when he trying to make peppermint candy, I think?

>> No.8251867

wew lad

>> No.8251928
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From /out/ but relevant

>> No.8251944

Meanwhile #7

>> No.8252416
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>> No.8252419
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>> No.8252425
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>> No.8252429
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>> No.8252470 [DELETED] 

i'm not into murricans measuremeants, but on the utensil it says 1/4 cup, so what's wrong?

>> No.8252497


I'm guessing the guy used two scoops, thinking the recipe asked for two 1/4 cups, where the recipe meant two and a quarter cups.

>> No.8252510
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I know this isn't the most appropriate thread, but I just saw this gem and I had to post it SOMEWHERE on /KC/

>> No.8252518

Here's Marie's video:

>> No.8252572
File: 731 KB, 1451x795, the hurgin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8252663

Or if you understand humour better than: HAHA HARAMBE DAT BOI PEPEPEPEPEPE

>> No.8252672

He used 2 1/4 cups. As in, two scoops from a 1/4 cup measuring cup. In total, 1/2 of a cup. The recipe called for 2 1/4 cups of flour, which would be 9 scoops from a 1/4 cup scoop.

>> No.8252687

My brain hurts.

>> No.8252698
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>> No.8252701
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wish I had capped the aftermath of this one.

>> No.8252702

I've done that a few times.

>> No.8252707
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>> No.8252986

There was that time Edgar legit asked if you could ferment pure water.

I feel bad for bullying him about it, I've seen some of his content since and I'm pretty sure he's legit disabled and not just stupid.

>> No.8253010

Better copy.

>> No.8253062

Because you're thick m8 and can't into fractions.

>> No.8253084

merican education

>> No.8253087

everything wrong with your shitty american 'units'

adpot grams and liters, and it will make sharing recipes between continents much, much easier for everyone

t. european

btw I'm not saying that guy isnt retarded, I mean 2 1/4 cups clearly means 2 cups + 1/4 cup, but WHAT THE FUCK IS A FUCKING CUP


>> No.8253093
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I'm trying to learn easy equivalents for the inevitable switch over.

1 cup = ~275 mg.

I have most of the thanksgiving set from hell if y'all want

>> No.8253102

>1 cup = ~275 mg.
am I being rused?

>> No.8253107 [DELETED] 

>the recipe meant
how do you know that? the only thing you know about the recipe is what he said: 2 1/4 cups

and from that two quarter cups are right, not two and a quarter.

>> No.8253111

He means g not mg. 275mg is a ridiculously small quantity.

>> No.8253117

>british longknife
>chinese baseball equipment

holy shit I'm laughing so hard
I'm very tired too but still

its pretty funny

>> No.8253118

No. If two quarter cups was what the recipe wanted then it'd tell you to use a ½ cup you fucking retard.

>> No.8253124

A cup is actually a fixed volume- 8 fluid ounces, or 237 mL.

>> No.8253127

Ladies and gentlemen, witness just how fucking stupid people really are.

>> No.8253134

how do you convert 1 cup of 237ml to any other ingredient that isnt liquid ?

>> No.8253138

You don't. You can measure 237mL of flour or sugar or whatever. Granted it's a poor way of measuring those things but that's because it's a volume measurement rather than weight, not because of the units you use.

>> No.8253139

I remember that, he totally bitched out and didn't even post proof he tasted it

>> No.8253144

it's one of the issue with a slow board full of alcoholics

>> No.8253151

Usually measuring cups have multiple scales for flour, sugar and water.
Also, you can just weigh out 237 grams since 1 ml of water = 1 gram.

>> No.8253156

>Usually measuring cups have multiple scales for flour, sugar and water.
Is this some Apple Cabin shit? Why would a volumetric measurement have different scales?

>> No.8253162
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Because flour and sugar particles aren't of the same size, so with the same volume they can have different weights.

>> No.8253167

More of this guy.
Is he the Tupperware guy?

>> No.8253170

But cups are a volumetric measurement. Am I being memed?

>> No.8253185

>be from european country
>mother is from a different european country
>have family in a third european country which speaks the same language as mum's country
>all three countries use cups as a unit of measurement
It's 250ml, homie. American cups are 240ml, IIRC (and I think I do).

The only thing that bothers me is that USicans use cups as a measure for dry goods while we use it exclusively for liquids.
They seldom use kitchen scales at all in the US for whatever reason, so they had to adapt recipes using mass or weight to volumetric quantities.
Still, it's not that big a deal, really. Stopping being so dramatic.

Not a /ck/ post necessarily, but someone really ought to post those """"""""""""""recipes"""""""""""" from Skeletor (AKA thefitveganginger) just for the cringefactor.

>> No.8253188

yeah, and thats precisely why its retarded

1ml of flour isnt 1 gr

>> No.8253222

You're actually fucking dumber than the op of that recipe, bravo.

>> No.8253243
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>> No.8253278

In France, and in the rest of europe too I guess, we use weights to measure ingredients, not volumes.
We use a scale or a measuring cup to get the quantities right. We sometimes use volumes when the quantity doesn't need to be precise (eg 1 glass of water).

>> No.8253285

>this gem
You have to go back.

>> No.8253298

This is beautiful

>> No.8254638

I've never heard of using different scales for different foods. Any baker worth their salt uses a scale

>> No.8254644

This makes me want to stop picking my nose with pennies.

>> No.8254656


If a recipe called for 450 mil of something would you use four 50 mil scoops? Are all euros this retarded?

>> No.8254657


>> No.8254879

I pissed in a cup of pennies and dumped it into the coinstar

it broke and I'm banned from walmart now

>> No.8254891

No, because all the numbers are attached there, it's obvious.

Honestly, though, we just use numbers differently. Instead of pulling shit like 2 1/2 cups, we would just say 750 ml, 2 and a half cups, or 2,5 cups eventually. Much more straight forward.

It took some re-reading to understand the pic actually, because it felt so unnatural to convert 2 1/4 into 2,25 .
2 1/4 looks more like 2*1/4 than anything else for me.

I guess it's just a habit one needs to pick up, because it isn't obvious to untrained eyes.

But seriously, Amerifats, I don't know how you managed to fuck up every kind of measurements you have. They are all so weird, irregular and inconsistent. It's as if you were bummed out you didn't have shitty conjugation rules and wanted to develop something equally unnecessarily retarded to keep up with Europe or something.

>> No.8254896
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All the Walmarts or just the one branch?

>> No.8254907

they didn't say anything in particular about any other walmarts

>> No.8254935

It should be 2 AND 1/4 cups flour. They just left it out and it made it confusing.

>> No.8254951

No, it should be the way it is because that's how you write numbers with fractions.

What are they teaching kids in school these days? I'm fucking 21 and I've already seen the death of mixed numbers

>> No.8254984

Yeah, walmart is using facial recognition software, not.

>> No.8255599

M8, you shouldn't be complaining about Americans if you are the retarded nigger that failed primary school. If you don't understand mixed numbers you need some serious remedial mathematics.

>> No.8255623


I don't screenshot it but pretty much anytime I see someone defending fast food and unironically promoting it and even trying to pass it off as healthy, I just have a little giggle and keep scrolling. It takes a special kind of deluded person to say shit like that.

>> No.8255638

...one is mass and one is volume. 1 cup of oil and 1 cup of water are different.

>> No.8255657


This one always cracks me up. Props to that guy for having the balls to post it.

>> No.8255664

I...I need some context

>> No.8256295
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>> No.8256308

jesus i remember him totally bashing food blogs that include of lot of extra narrative in addition to the recipe. His was different bc his is "funny"

>> No.8256330
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To be fair, koldskal is quite literally a few cups of flour and teaspoons of baking soda short of a buttermilk pancake. How Danes manage to find joy in quaffing half-assed batter baffles me.

>> No.8258605
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>> No.8258608
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Not a ck post but, how would this drink actually taste (imported from /co/'s own horrible webcomic thread)

>> No.8258649

>Props to that guy for having the balls to post it
are you retarded? why would anyone be afraid of posting a stupid story anonymously?
>implying that actually happened in the first place

>> No.8258690

>1 cup of oil and 1 cup of water are different
what and why, explain yourself

>> No.8258706

i dislike that comic

>> No.8258767

Fuck off elmer.

>> No.8258779

Didn't that autist treat social encounters like a video game?

>> No.8258780

I remember a couple months ago there was a guy posted a thread about frying food in water

>> No.8258791

You realize frying food in water is a real thing, right? Are you one of those sharts that needs fatty oil fried foods so much that you deny real science?

>> No.8258871

not that poster
different mass, same volume
it was clunkily worded but shit just read the goddamn reply chain for context for fuck's sake

>> No.8258930
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What the fuck are you talking about?

>> No.8259083

Swiss and cheddar are 'literally' the same thing.

>> No.8259115

Look, someone is actively adding to your collection.

>> No.8259119


>> No.8259157

Having spent many years working as a kitchen manager in a big chain restaurant that hires basically anyone who will work for under $10/hr, you have no idea how common this is. I'd say probably one in four prep cooks I've trained has done this.

>> No.8259166
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>> No.8259206

Dammit, what did I miss?

>> No.8259214


>> No.8259265

confused euro, nothing special

>> No.8259278
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>> No.8259303

That filename got me

>> No.8259468
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>> No.8259692

Make it and find out

>> No.8259702


>> No.8259732

stinkyyy like your bully!!

>> No.8259735

No. I'm scared of it.

>> No.8259779

>2 1/4 cups
>not just writing 1/2 a cup

>> No.8259796

fuck off retard

>> No.8259807

This was me, I have no shame. Thanks for teaching me something while running me through the mud

>> No.8259814

I swear the more common sense recipes write it as "2 & 1/4 cup(s)" instead of "2 1/4 cups"

>> No.8259816
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This was my favorite reply from the whole thread, again not my proudest moment but hey we're not all perfect. Gotta start somewhere

>> No.8259819

all the sensible ones would say 2.25, or at least "2¼" without a space.

>> No.8259823

2¼ is fine but .25 is bound to confuse people.
"What do you mean .25? I don't have a .25 measuring cup."

>> No.8259842


>> No.8259852

Dammit what did he say? He deleted his post, who even gets embarrassed on an anonymous board?

>> No.8259856


>> No.8259861

I'm fucking dying

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