/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.8237482]

ITT: weird food-related habits that you have

when i eat soup, sometimes i imagine i'm a prisoner at a concentration camp

[Anonymous No.8237484]

>>8237482
yeah that is weird dude

[Anonymous No.8237489]

I do that sometimes

[Anonymous No.8237490]

doubt anyone can top that dude

[Anonymous No.8237493]

>>8237482
I always get drunk while I cook stews or chili.

[Anonymous No.8237505]

When I eat fried rice, I like to eat the vegetables first starting with whatever non-aromatics I used, then the aromatics, then the meat and eggs, then save the rice for last.

[Anonymous No.8237508]

>never drink the bottom quarter of large drink containers
>store candy in the freezer overnight before eating
>used to discard mcnugget skins and just eat the inside
>appetite occasionally reverts to toddler mode

[Anonymous No.8237510]

>>8237505
you're just savoring it

[Anonymous No.8237514]

eating food straight out of the fridge cold is my shit, especially plain grains

>>8237505
are you autistic?

[Anonymous No.8237517]

Eating food and enjoying it.

[Anonymous No.8237525]

>>8237514
>are you autistic?

Nah, just saving the best for last.

[Anonymous No.8237552]

I mix mayonnaise and barbecue sauce together, it tastes really good

[Anonymous No.8237553]

I refuse to eat any kind of spicy food without drinking alcohol alongside it.

[Anonymous No.8237555]

>>8237482
but the holocaust didn't happen tho

[Anonymous No.8237560]

>>8237482
please tell me you do that in front of company

I want stories

[Anonymous No.8237580]

>>8237560
i don't actively pretend that i'm a starving prisoner randomly in front of people when i'm eating. i'm not autistic

when i'm alone though i'll imagine that i'm starving and savoring the soup so much. i'll kind of hunker down and take big slurps of soup, making sure i drink the last drops dramatically from the side of the bowl

[Anonymous No.8237587]

>>8237555
That's why he pretends dummy. Duh.

[Anonymous No.8237589]

When i eat poptarts i pretend its lembas bread and i have a long days march ahead of hunting orcs

[Anonymous No.8237594]

When I'm microwaving something, I'll keep track of the time left in my head. Then I'll go to another room and pretend I'm trying to find and defuse a bomb before it's too late. I try to make my way back to the microwave with only 1 second left, that way it's more dramatic.

Also, every time I go running, I pretend there's a timer and that I have to make it back home in ten seconds or so, or else a blast of flames from an explosion will engulf me. I then walk through the door in slow motion.

I did this so often that I had to come clean to my wife on what I was doing. She though I was coming through the door slowly because I wanted to be sneaky/ unfaithful.

Stupid bitch.

[Anonymous No.8237595]

When I eat Manwich I sing King of the Road by Roger Miller

[Anonymous No.8237601]

>>8237594
> this person is married

[Anonymous No.8237602]

>>8237482

I feel you OP. I rarely eat soup but when I do, it just gives me that poverty feel, the good kind of poverty where you're just barely making it financially but it all melts away when you get something good to eat.

[Anonymous No.8237606]

>>8237505
>combining multiple ingredients into one delicious mess
>eating each ingredient separate
why?

[Anonymous No.8237607]

>>8237508
>>used to discard mcnugget skins and just eat the inside
what the fuck?

[Anonymous No.8237608]

>>8237589
>When i eat poptarts i pretend its lembas bread and i have a long days march ahead of hunting orcs
well, i have a new food habit

[Anonymous No.8237652]

>>8237594
saved

[Anonymous No.8237669]

>>8237594
I have to count down the microwave seconds too, but only because the screen is broken.

I only eat sausages cold, so I'll spend 10 minutes cooking them, only to put them straight in the fridge for another 3 hours before they're cold enough.

When I make toast I butter the bread before putting it in the toaster(this kills the toaster btw).

Only eat the legs from KFC, if it's a wing it gets binned/eaten by someone else.

Whenever I cook shit in the oven I bring a beanbag into the kitchen and lie down next to the oven to watch it cook.

I yell and get violent if anyone enters the kitchen while I'm cooking.

[Anonymous No.8237675]

>>8237482
I do that with chili.

Probably because of the spongebob episode

[Anonymous No.8237677]

>>8237493
We would get along swimmingly.

[Anonymous No.8237681]

>>8237553
Easy to imagine what this encourages


>>8237675
>Probably because of the spongebob episode
I can't remember an episode like this, so I'm presuming you're <18 who watched the newer seasons.

[Anonymous No.8237685]

Since i'm on a kitchen nightmares/hotel hell marathon i now inspect my food like chef ramsay before eating and swear in british after my first bite, i also eat burgers with a fork

[Anonymous No.8237686]

>>8237681
Its the one with mrs puff in prison for a few minutes i think definitely not a newer episode

[Anonymoüs No.8237690]

>>8237594
Dude, what?

[Anonymous No.8237693]

>>8237594
I do this to. More because i hate the sound of the microwave though

[Anonymous No.8237696]

>>8237589
nice

[Anonymous No.8237701]

>>8237482
when i get to the last three or four bites of a sandwich/burger, i often pick it apart and eat all the layers separately

[Anonymous No.8237820]

>>8237514
there is nothing better than making a huge pan of rice&beans with bacon or a massive scrambled egg with ham and eating it out of the pan like a champ.

[Anonymous No.8237830]

>>8237701
I believe you and I think that is very weird.

[Anonymous No.8237833]

>>8237820
I do that and imagine myself out on the trail, driving cattle.

[Anonymous No.8237835]

>>8237482

I have to eat citrus after drinking coffee

I don't know when i developed this but I've been doing it forever

[Anonymous No.8237846]

I treat all dry and storable foods as if I'm an animal collecting food for winter. When muesli is sold at a discount, I buy loads, sort them by individual grains, seeds, nuts and dried fruit and store the boxes on secret locations around my flat. If I want muesli I collect a small handful from each box, carefully so nobody sees my secres hidey places, and combine them in a bowl.

[Anonymous No.8237847]

>>8237835
Interesting. Very interesting.

[Anonymous No.8237851]

>>8237846
I'm sure you know it is not about food but an obsessive compulsive disorder.

[Anonymous No.8237875]

>>8237851
:(

[Anonymous No.8237880]

Sometimes I make a sandwich, cut the crusts off and if they're not all the perfectly same size I eat the crusts and toss the sandwich in the trash.
Actually did it yesterday with a salami, Swiss cheese and pickle sandwich which is currently attracting flies for some dumb reason. I was damn close to but my knife skills are improve.

[Anonymous No.8237902]

>>8237880
This is an invented tale.

[Anonymous No.8237926]

What is it with modern americans equating soup with poverty?

[Anonymous No.8237933]

>>8237926
Loads of cultures do this. It's easuer to stretch a liquid meal than anything else.

[Anonymous No.8237942]

>>8237482
This is not all that weird but I'm sure most of the other alpha males on /ck/ can relate.

1. Doing something on PC
2. Microwave food, put hot food near PC
3. Continue doing stuff on PC
4. Forgot about the food, it got cold already
5. Microwave food again
6. Put hot food nearby
7. Get on PC again
8. Forget about food again
9. Microwave it again
10. Put it nearby again
11. Continue work again
12. Forget about food again


I'm sure this happens to all of you right?

[Anonymous No.8237952]

>>8237926
It's not modern. It has been that way since before the revolution. Soup is a thin food staple. It is indicative of poverty. A weak broth coupled with whatever you can muster food wise is an icon of deprivation.

[Anonymous No.8237953]

>>8237942
I've become proficient at one hand typing by eating my fries/burger with one hand.
Also considering one of pic related.

[Anonymous No.8237959]

>>8237953
but how is the guy in the pic gonna eat fries with it

[Anonymous No.8237972]

>>8237959
Eat them in the car on the way home while they're hot and fresh?

[Anonymous No.8237973]

>>8237959
That guy is a fucking pleb, don't mimic him.

The correct way is to put the fries inside of your burger.

[Anonymous No.8238544]

>>8237580
I sorta want to fuck you right anon

[Anonymous No.8238592]

>>8237580
I do this with porridge/ oatmeal / congee

Gonna start doing it with soup too

[Anonymous No.8238646]

when my family had slimy or gooey food which was served with a ladle, like mashed potatoes, lasagna or beans. My siblings and me always used to act like we're in a prison and one of us served the food with a disgusting splat on the plate, like they do in most prison movies. my mom hated it so much.

good times.

[Anonymous No.8238657]

>>8237482
Me too OP, except I imagine being in a North Korean camp. Especially if it's something with corn

[Anonymous No.8238660]

>>8237606
Like >>8237510 said, savoring. The rice is the star of the show after all.

[Anonymous No.8238665]

When I eat, I like to read recipes or generally food related stuff in the meantime. Am I the only one? My friends think Im a freak.

[Anonymous No.8238674]

hahaha sometimes when i eat donuts i eat them from the hole to the outside hahaha

/damaged/

[Anonymous No.8238803]

I like to pick things apart like pizza; I like to eat the pepperoni first, then the cheese, then pick out bite size chunks in the crust for example. I also really hate biting into anything because I don't like getting my front teeth dirty.

[Anonymous No.8238915]

>>8237508
>frozen candy

I love freezing any type of chocolate. Especially frozen Hershey's or Reecies

[Anonymous No.8238931]

>>8237952
Watery soup is poor people food. A thick and rich one is richer people food.

>>8238674
How? How does your mouth work to bite the inside first?

[Anonymous No.8239009]

I did these as a kid a lot and sometimes will if I'm alone and eating pretzels where I'll break them up and eat them out of my hand pretending I'm a horse. I don't even like horses.

If I'm eating some long noodles I'll hold one end of it, swallow it and pull it back out of my throat.

I can't cook a leg roast or ribs(goat, lamb, deer, etc) and have friends over since we end up getting wasted, having a campfire and pretending we're cavemen. We got so into it we ended up having some D&D sessions on it.

[Anonymous No.8239013]

I disassemble my food instead of tearing or cutting.

A drumstick, a thigh, fruit , stalk, unless it's a solid and uniform food, I break it down, debone separate.

I always eat the parts in the same order.

I try not to do it in public.

[Anonymous No.8239016]

>>8237482
>when i eat soup, sometimes i imagine i'm a prisoner at a concentration camp

You're fucking tapped m8

[Anonymous No.8239026]

>>8237669
>Whenever I cook shit in the oven I bring a beanbag into the kitchen and lie down next to the oven to watch it cook.
God, that sounds so good.

[Anonymous No.8239029]

>>8237589
Cute

[Anonymous No.8239032]

>>8237482

when i eat with chopsticks, I imagine pei mae or however you spell his name from kill bill is there saying that if you cant use chopsticks you have to eat off the floor like a dog, and then i think i would say to him, what if you have missing fingers or hand, or have a disability like downs syndrome, or if you have arthritis? I like to imagine he says, well I suppose there are exceptions, and then i feel smug.

[Sage No.8239061]

>>8237482
Not really a weird eating habit, but my dad growing up was one of those nutjobs that was always preparing for ww3. He was in the army and worked for the government his entire life during the cold war and was constantly stocking up on dried foods, canned stuff, water powdered milk, MREs, guns, ammo, etc. When he retired when I was 16, first thing our family did was sell our house in Georgetown and Florida and buy a huge plot of land in the country. He started a huge garden, dug half a dozen wells got some chickens, started canning like mad and basically fortifying the house for "the war".

As a consequence of that, I impulsively hoard. I could likely live on what I have in the house for 8-10 months easy. I know that in the event of a nuclear war if I'm lucky I'll die instantly, but that but is always in the back of my head. Also, my dad nags to no end everytime he visits and is constantly pushing jerky, canned whatever and dry goods constantly. He's undoubted got some disorder, but beyond that he's completely normal.

[Anonymous No.8239067]

>>8237482
Holy shit, I'm not alone

[Anonymous No.8239124]

When I was little like younger than 6, I would chew up a shit ton of saltines and spat out the wad of now creamed crackers onto this green toy bucket I had.(the bottom of the bucket facing up). And let it sit for a minute or two and then get two nee saltines and put the wad in between them and make a sandwich since by then the chewed up crackers would be sorta sweet. Then I'd eat it.

[Anonymous No.8239154]

>>8239124
That's because of the amylase in saliva is used to help digest the starch and turn it into sugars. Our biology teacher in HS would do this and it was fucking disgusting

[Anonymous No.8239169]

>>8237942
My laptop fan exerts so much heat, it's kept food at 167 for twenty minutes. I didnt eat it, cause that shit ain't right, but still pretty neat.

I've checked the insides and the laptop is still ok.

[Anonymous No.8239172]

>>8237482
When I eat steak, chops, ribs or other cuts of meat that have large bits of fat I cut them off and save them for last, so tasty.

I also do the same thing with the skin on fried chicken.

[Anonymous No.8239175]

>>8239061
>tfw no tinfoil dad
Treasure what you have, dude. Semi-functionable crazy is the best crazy.

[Anonymous No.8239188]

>>8237482
when im in public eating soup i slurp the broth quickly while looking around i dont realize im doing it most of the time i just like watching people an slurping broth

[Anonymous No.8239266]

>>8237880
bullshit. take a picture.

[Anonymous No.8239270]

>>8239061
I stocked up on powdered water but then it hit me - what do I add?

[Anonymous No.8239416]

Whenever I eat powdered donuts I make sure to chew it all the way through and get as much of the powder moist since I have a phobia of breathing in heavy amounts of dust/macroscopic particulates in the air. Often times I'll simply chew up the donut and take a quick sip of money on to make sure it all goes down and no stray powder gets into my lungs.

Fuck you, PSAs on lead paint chips and asbestos.

[Anonymous No.8239436]

>>8237482
>Often times I'll simply chew up the donut and take a quick sip of money on

Wat?

[Anonymous No.8239507]

I have to read something or have someone talk to me when I eat or else I get SO FUCKING BORED

my friends and family think it's weird as fuck, and my brother has said literally the opposite, that he can't read while he eats or he doesn't enjoy the meal. I don't know what it is, I love to eat I just want to kill myself if I'm not having a conversation or reading something. I'll fucking read nutrition facts if I have to.

[Anonymous No.8239522]

>>8239436
I meant milk. This is what you get when you have a phone with autocorrect.

[Anonymous No.8239526]

>>8239507
I sort of do this too. Pretty much every book I own has sauce stains on their pages. The F5 key always seems to have a bit of food bits around it. When I go out to a restaurant I have them leave the menu after I order so I can read it. I'll use a newspaper spread out as a place mat and move my plate/bowl around as I read articles.

[Anonymous No.8239529]

>>8239526
Yup, I'm an English major and spend most of my homework time, which is just reading, while I'm eating a meal. I just have to do something while I eat

[Anonymous No.8239560]

>>8239529
Do you go out of way to bring food in as a theme and topic in your writing? I was a history and anthropology major and would do this when writing a research paper.

[Anonymous No.8239624]

>>8239507
Wait, what? Are there people who just sit and eat the food during a meal? No reading/watching tv/browsing the internet/talking? What the fuck.

[Anonymous No.8239650]

If I'm eating spicy food, I like to read about spicy food or watch food shows with spicy food challenges at the same time.

[Anonymous No.8239657]

>>8239624
Dude, you're the odd one out. I'm not saying that what you're doing is wrong but some people aren't anxious little kids who need to be distracted to enjoy their food.

Some people genuinely enjoy the act of eating, as in, the ritualistic act if preparing a meal and sitting down for the sole purpose of eating and enjoying the meal by concentrating on just that.

[Anonymous No.8239662]

>>8237493
>I always get drunk while I cook
This

[Anonymous No.8239664]

>>8237595
me too :-)

[Anonymous No.8239668]

>>8237594
Do you live in PNW? This is hilarious.

[Anonymous No.8239695]

>>8239032
If you had a disability why would he have agreed to train you?

[Anonymous No.8239706]

>>8237552
literally an aioli

[Anonymous No.8239708]

Whenever I am eating something I don't like I pretend like I am survivor-man eating something disgusting but necessary

[Anonymous No.8239745]

When I eat chicken nuggets i eat off all the breading first and pretend I'm eating all the skin off an animal.

[Anonymous No.8239772]

>>8238665
I read the wikipedia page of what I am eating or drinking, or if I've already read it a few times I'll switch to a single component such as the type of cheese or whatever.

[Anonymous No.8239794]

>>8238646
lmfao

[Anonymous No.8239798]

>>8239772
Not that guy but I often do this too.

[Anonymous No.8239803]

>>8237482
cant open the file but are you putting the filter of your cigarette in fucking split pea soup?

[Anonymous No.8239804]

i do the typewriter gag when i'm eating corn on the cob

[Anonymous No.8239877]

>>8239803
get yo eyes checked

[Anonymous No.8239884]

>>8239803
its a wooden spoon, poorfag

[Anonymous No.8239886]

>>8237701
DUDE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

[Anonymous No.8239920]

Sometimes I freeze McDonald's toys. I put them in baggies of water and freeze them overnight then leave them on children's bedroom windows in the early morning

[Anonymous No.8239922]

>>8238646
who the fuck serves mashed potatoes with a ladle? use a serving spoon you stupid fuck.

mashed potatoes should be too thick for a ladle anyway.

[Anonymous No.8239938]

If I microwave something when I open the microwave I stand in front because the radiation will give me mutant powers like the hulk

[Anonymous No.8239951]

>>8238660
>The rice is the star of the show after all.

spoken like a true poorfag. keep telling yourself that the cheapest, blandest, most basic element of the dish that has all of its natural flavors drowned out by literally everything else on it is "the star."

I love it when poor people try to find joy in their sadly pathetic simpleton staples. You will never know the true pleasure of foi gras fried rice, senpai.

[Anonymous No.8239960]

>>8237555
Concentration camps have existed other places, high school dropout detected.

[Anonymous No.8239962]

When I'm by myself and eating pretzels I break off one little chunk at a time. I press my saliva into the resulting holes until part of the pretzel is soaked, then eat that part. Rinse and repeat.

[Anonymous No.8239993]

There used to be a commercial for Reese 's cups where the middle of the cup was gone and it said "there's no wrong way to eat a Reese 's". I wondered if it was possible to eat it like that as a kid, so I poked a hole in it with my finger and ate the center first, I still do this.

[Anonymous No.8240025]

>>8239993
I sometimes like to take the top of the cup off, eat out the peanut butter first and then the chocolate. Mostly with the Big Cups.

[Anonymous No.8240031]

>>8239951
Foie Gras is disgusting. I've had it from highly regarded restaurants, and it's still disgusting.
It's the high IBU IPA of meats.

[Anonymous No.8240045]

>>8239172
Sounds like me, although nowadays I tend to trim off the cooked fat.

[Anonymous No.8240076]

>>8237482
sometimes when i eat soup, i imagine a dog swimming in the bowl

[Anonymous No.8240085]

>>8239960

Are you implying that an American school would teach you of anything other than the Holy Shoah?

I don't know if you're American, but you sure as hell aren't going to have heard about the Boer War in American education. Maybe a short reference to Japanese internment, but the japs are bad goys so that doesn't really matter.

[Anonymous No.8240115]

>>8240031
lol

[Anonymous No.8240152]

>>8239920
fuck

[Anonymous No.8240611]

>>8239032
Let's see how smug you feel when he rips your eye out. He don't play that backtalk shit!

[Anonymous No.8240622]

When my mom got loafs of bread I would take pieces with me outside to go on a fake adventure.
like >>8237589 sorta

[Anonymous No.8240628]

I get mad if someone left the microwave with cooking time still left and I have to clear it.

[Anonymous No.8240634]

>>8237681
Actually one of the first episodes. You just revealed yourself to be a complete pleb.

[Anonymous No.8240636]

I don't think any food related habits I have are weird, but I do have some habits.

1. Freeze chocolates, or prefer them very cold.
2. Prefer almost all sweets cold; there's something just odd tasting about hot or warm sweets.

[Anonymous No.8240650]

>>8239951
>never had rice be star of a dish, never had rice so fucking good you wanted to fuck it
>calling others poorfags
Lmao, apparently you have never tasted proper cooking or a real aromatic rice dish, pleb.

[Anonymous No.8240725]

>>8237482
Fucking lost it OP. Now I'm going to do the same whenever I eat shitty food.
When I eat cream of mushroom soup I imagine it's cum. But I guess it's hard not to.
I can't put butter on a sandwich if I'm having any other topping. It's either plain butter or topping, both at once makes me gag.

[Anonymous No.8240738]

>>8237482

When I drink water, I drink it out a of a wine bottle

After any consumption of water and other liquids I figure out how much liquid weight I gained then jump on the scale to confirm it.

[Anonymous No.8240740]

>>8237482

Jokes on you. Jews weren't given soup. They got sawdust bread. Soup was reserved for the guards.

[Anonymous No.8240752]

When I bake cookies, I immediately stick them in the freezer for 2-3 hours before consuming.

I have no self-control with Yogurt and Kefir. I have to consume it all in one sitting.

I can't eat pasta anymore. Lost a ton of weight and no matter how much I want to, I just can't sit down and make it

[Anonymous No.8240887]

During a meal, I always take one bite of whatever is available in this exact order
meat -> starch -> cheese/spreads/sauces -> veggies
repeat

[Anonymous No.8240896]

I pretend i am having a tv cooking show when cooking drunk.

[Anonymous No.8240899]

>>8237820
Tfw i cant do that because of my pans coating scratching off

[Anonymous No.8240907]

>>8237482
I remember a story from /b/ I read years ago about how whenever a guy ate Chinese takeout, he imagined he was an Emperor and he was being watched by starving peasants looking hungry, and enjoying feeling smug about it

If I ate that disgusting chemical garbage, I'd do it too. Fuck China, they took our jobs

[Anonymous No.8240916]

>>8237482
i like eating soup with a large spoon because in movies theyre always eating soup with a big wooden spoon

[Anonymous No.8240967]

When I cook I throw cats in and take pictures and post it to 4chan, my friends thought it was weird but they can piss off.

i also make sure parking lot cats eat better regularly than most of my neighbors.

[Anonymous No.8240974]

>>8240899
Get a $5 stainless pan from your closest thrift store. Like Revereware or some shit.

[Anonymous No.8241291]

>>8237594
I can relate to the explosion engulfing thing, actually.

[Anonymous No.8241298]

>>8237508
>store candy in the freezer overnight before eating
Did this when I was a kid, haven't done it for at least a decade though.

Should I return to my roots?

[Anonymous No.8241299]

>>8237514
Certain foods taste better cold for me. I've found that it's mostly cheap fast food, like pizza or fries.

[Anonymous No.8241322]

I always need to drink water and swish it around my mouth right after drinking any sugary or acidic drinks

[Anonymous No.8241722]

>>8239877
>>8239884

>literally class and health shaming other posters

wow

[Anonymous No.8241756]

>>8237482
i cant cook in front of other people

i have to be alone and left alone

[Anonymous No.8241760]

>>8237482
I masturbate while posting this image on /ck/ is that weird?

[Anonymous No.8241762]

>>8241756
I have the same thing, nobody believes me when I cooked. They always think I bought it at some fancy 3 star michelin star restaurant from the back door. I can cook really well but if someone looks at me cooking I get like all nervous and fuck up everything.

[Anonymous No.8241787]

>>8241762
>I can cook really well but if someone looks at me cooking I get like all nervous and fuck up everything.
dude yes i feel that

________________________
also when i microwave something i stop the microwave at the last second but judging by this thread i guess a lot of people do this and it isnt that odd

[Anonymous No.8241792]

>>8241760
Avatar fagging is against the rules, anon.

[Anonymous No.8241832]

>>8241756
>>8241762

[Anonymous No.8241871]

>>8239124
I do this with pepernoten, but they are sweet instead.

[Anonymous No.8241907]

>>8239993
i also poke out the center of a reeses

first i eat the center then i eat the ring

the ring is so fucking good man, nice and textured
kind of idk.. crunchy
its the best

[Anonymous No.8241928]

>>8240967
hi patty

[Anonymous No.8241937]

>>8237555
Shut the fuck up Jackson

[Anonymous No.8241945]

>>8238646
>slimy or gooey food
>like mashed potatoes

[Anonymous No.8241956]

>>8239124
I did this as well, minus the green toy bucket thing, that's just odd.

[Anonymous No.8241960]

>>8240967
Pepperidge Farm remembers.

[Anonymous No.8241985]

>>8240967
I like everything about this pic, except the fat cat. I like cats, but they shouldn't be so fat. I can only assume your feeding it shit dry food.

[Anonymous No.8242003]

>>8241985
i give them both but i like to leave dry food out so that if i work a double or something none of my cats go hungry, that one just never lost her dumpster cat mentality I think shell chill out eventually

[Anonymous No.8242260]

>>8237482
every time i sit down and have a meal i say a prayer

[Anonymous No.8242275]

>>8237514
Thats totally me

[Anonymous No.8242304]

>>8238915
>reecies
Kys

[Anonymous No.8243330]

>>8237508
My teeth will break if i eat frozen candy due to years of drinking acidic alcohol haha

[Anonymous No.8243652]

>>8238646
Are you me? My bro and I always yell "here's you're slop!", even if it's one of our fav foods

[Anonymous No.8243778]

>>8240967
that looks like a happy kitty

[Anonymous No.8243842]

>>8243330
hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.8243954]

Whenever my mom made chili I would continually mash it up with my spoon until it was a thick uniform paste, kinda looked like bean dip. I would then eat the paste

Also at birthday parties, I would scrape off the disgusting buttercream icing from the cake and only eat the bread. I would then mix up the glob icing and proceed to make a sculpture out of it. If people sitting next to me have icing left over I would take theirs too to add to the piece.

[Anonymous No.8244227]

>>8243954
>bread

T O P K E K
O
P
K
E
K

[Anonymous No.8245526]

>>8237482
When my sister and I were kids, we'd regularly try to make peanut butter by eating peanuts and scooping out the chewed peanut mash and try to feed it to people. It worked once on this weird fat kid in the neighborhood, and we laughed our asses off.

He killed himself in later years.

[Anonymous No.8245658]

>>8245526
Maybe he had a peanut allergy.

[Anonymous No.8245666]

>>8245526
No, he loved our chewed peanut mash. He tried to transition genders then killed himself when his parents didn't approve. Kinda sad, actually.

[Anonymous No.8245707]

I refuse to watch Spirited Away unless I have some sort of asian dish to eat while I watch it because the food looks so delicious in the movie.

Whenever I get a straw, I have to look through it to make sure nothing is stuck in it before I put it in my drink.

I absolutely have to have a meat, rice/potatoes, and some sort of veggie/fruit with every meal unless it's fast food. To be fair, I try to avoid fast food and if I get pizza, it has to have veggies or be Hawaiian style.

If I'm serving my dinner to my husband, I try to get all fancy with how the food looks on the plate but I suck at presentation.

[Anonymous No.8245769]

Whenever I have chicken I leave it in the bathroom to marinate for a couple of hours before eating it. Tastes amazing. I call it bathroom chicken it's nice and a bit tangy

[Anonymous No.8245770]

>>8245769
Days I meant. Not hours

[Anonymous No.8245800]

I love cereal and i like milk, but i hate eating them together. I dont like soggy cereal and candy flavored lukewarm milk

dry crunchy cereal on a bowl and cold mommy's milk on a separate glass, please

[Anonymous No.8245877]

>>8237482
heh. When I drink cold bottled water,, I pretend I'm "Hoot" (Eric Bana) from Black Hawk Down. At the end of the movie he drinks water and goes back to killing skinnies.

[Anonymous No.8245992]

>>8237482
this is the best thread i've ever witnessed

[Anonymous No.8246001]

Don't forget to cap

[Anonymous No.8246123]

>>8237589
topkek

[Anonymous No.8246131]

>>8239772
Do this on a weekly basis. Let's me learn new ideas.

[Anonymous No.8246146]

>>8241985
Doing God's work anon

[Anonymous No.8246213]

>>8237820
>Turkish way of eating
Fucking roach.

[Anonymous No.8246219]

>>8237681
it's the episode where he's trying to get Mrs Puff out of jail. It was 14 years ago...

[Anonymous No.8246241]

>>8237482
I do something similar, but pretend I'm a freezing Russian peasant boy and my babushka is telling me "Eat! Eat! You're skin and bone!" Pretty comfy desu.

[Anonymous No.8246316]

>>8238665
Naw m8 i do this too

[Anonymous No.8246328]

>>8239009
I used to do the somthing with preztles too
I used to bite off certain parts of the pretzel and make it look like a robot and i used to play with the pretzel robot then eat it after

[Anonymous No.8246335]

Used to do this too. I can't be the only one who made pretzel tits

[Anonymous No.8246344]

>>8239270
Water

[Anonymous No.8246356]

>>8245769
>>8245770
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupeur
>France, the weirdest foods.
No wonder why Japs love France.

>>8246213
>Turkish
They cook like that in Morocco and all the way in-between, and probably in the Balkans. How did you get to mix up Turkey and the whole Mediterranean area?

[Anonymous No.8246553]

>>8237482
When I eat anything spicy, I refuse to drink milk or cold water until the bowl's finished.

[Anonymous No.8246561]

I went to the bodies exhibit once when the a/c was broken and now when I eat cornflakes with the strawberries it reminds me of the bodies exhibit

[Anonymous No.8247523]

>>8240725
>but I guess it's hard not to
Maybe if that's something you think about a lot.

[Anonymous No.8247632]

>>8237594
>walking through the door in slow motion, giving the timer more time to go off and blow you up
how have you survived, dude

[Anonymous No.8247938]

>>8239695
for a shot at the special olympics

[Anonymous No.8247943]

I like colorings

[Anonymous No.8248264]

>>8247943
That's nice, anon

[Anonymous No.8248410]

>>8237482


I DO THIS TOO

[Anonymous No.8248415]

I run with toast on mouth

[Anonymous No.8248759]

>>8237594
I hope you're only pretending to be married, you sound like a fucktard.

[Anonymous No.8248991]

I can have a stew going for like 4 months, transitioning between tastes and types. Whenever there's like 1/3rd left I just add new (different) shit in and bring it to a boil again.

[Anonymous No.8249020]

>>8241756
>afraid of someone counseling me on "how to cook:the bible"
>yet i make the greatest dishes

[Anonymous No.8249050]

>>8237589
That is absolutely highlarious! You could use some Chewy Fruit Lemonheads you butt struttin turkey!

[Anonymous No.8249084]

When I'm eating pizza and starting to get full, I eat just the crusts on the remaining slices

[Anonymous No.8249090]

Curry on toast

[Anonymous No.8249100]

>>8237693
This. Will always set the timer for an extra second just so I don't have to hear that beeping go off.

Why isn't there a fucking volume key for that shit.

[Anonymous No.8249101]

>>8237482
I like the way a toasted PB&J sandwich tastes after its been sitting at room temperature for a couple of hours.

It started in Highschool when I forget to eat during first break and forget about it until my walk home.

[Anonymous No.8249130]

I compulsively sniff all my food before I eat it

[Anonymous No.8249971]

>>8237482
I always pretend I'm a brachiosaurus when I eat broccoli.

[Anonymous No.8249972]

>>8249090
Absolutely disgusting.

A bag of chapati flour is only about a quid you tight cunt.

[Anonymous No.8249982]

>>8239061
My dad just stopped truly caring once he and my mom got divorced, you're lucky, broheeno.

[Anonymous No.8250008]

When I was younger, I always imagined that semen was the consistency of mashed potatoes, and to this day I can't eat them without gagging a little. Creamy and salty, or even watery mashed potatoes do me in.

[Anonymous No.8250183]

>>8237482
Sometimes when I'm at a restaurant I'll pour a packet of sugar into one of those single-serving creamer cups and drink it.
It tastes kind of like ice cream.

[Anonymous No.8250206]

>>8237482
When I eat in a restaurant that has ketchup bottles on the table, I feel compelled to loosen the top so when the next customer shakes it, it will splatter all over them. I've tried not doing it, but I finally have to because I can't think of anything else until I get it done.

[Anonymous No.8250236]

Frequently when I'm eating sandwiches or a hotdog or something, I'll throw away the last bite of mostly bread

[Anonymous No.8250319]

>>8237482
I pretend I'm innawoods in medieval Europe and that I made soup from harvesting all of the ingredients in the wild.

[Anonymous No.8250326]

If I'm eating something like soup or sauce, I tend to use whatever roll/bread I have to wipe my mouth.

Yes it is PRECISELY because of that episode of Ed Edd 'n Eddy that I started doing it.

[Anonymous No.8250330]

If I'm eating something like soup or sauce, I tend to use whatever roll/bread I have to wipe my mouth.

[Anonymous No.8250331]

When I eat, I imagine the biological process of digestion, but I imagine them as a bunch of gnomes in my stomach/digestive system essentially dumpster diving through this garbage I dumped into my body.

"Oh, sheeeeiiiiit, son, we got a little bit of iron here!" one might say.

In the distance you can hear someone grumble: "There's nothing useful here. No sugars, no fats, no proteins, no minerals, just filler. Next! Just move this to the intestines already, this sucks."

[Anonymous No.8250650]

>>8250330
this is one of the most disturbing things i've read on 4chan

[Anonymous No.8250693]

>>8250650
His girlfriends dad thought it was weird too when he wiped his mouth with garlic bread.

[Anonymous No.8250694]

When I drink wine I put on a toga and watch HBO's Rome while playing Rome : Total War

[Anonymous No.8250700]

>>8250694
It better have been diluted, you barbarian.

[Anonymous No.8250741]

>>8238665
I only browse /ck/ while I'm eating. I'll also usually have some food-related video up on my other monitor.

[Anonymous No.8251651]

Sometimes ill get a chunk of cheddar out the fridge jump under my bed covers and shape them into a cave, then pretend im a mouse having my last meal before winter hibernation, feels comfy as fuck.

[Anonymous No.8251846]

>>8251651
>>8250331
>>8250206
>>8250008
Actually fucking hilarious

[Anonymous No.8252410]

>>8252372
>warm OJ
Honestly that sounds disgusting.

[Anonymous No.8252413]

NO SOUP FOR YOU

[Anonymous No.8252415]

>>8252410

Silly anon, Sunkist is a soda. Warm orange juice would just be weird.

[Anonymous No.8252349]

I used to pop these like they were pills.

[Anonymous No.8252364]

>>8237482
same here, but i imagine to be charlie from charlie and the chocolate factory. Nothing is more comfy than being poor and drinking soup

[Anonymous No.8252498]

Whenever I eat with a plate I only put one entree on there at a time so that my food doesn't mix

[Anonymous No.8252372]

I pour Sunkist into a bowl, microwave it, and eat it with a spoon, like soup.

[Anonymous No.8252499]

>>8252498
H-how many entrees do you eat at a time anon?

[Anonymous No.8252500]

>>8237482
i do the same thing. i also do this when i drink bad coffee.

[Anonymous No.8252509]

>>8237482
I do this too

[Anonymous No.8252951]

>>8252413
;_;

[Anonymous No.8253103]

>>8252498
Reported

[Anonymous No.8253291]

>>8237594
Nigga what

[Anonymous No.8253408]

When I was a kid I used to imagine that every food item in front of me, every cheerio, every piece of salmon, every brussel sprout, every grain of rice, that it was their destiny to grow, be processed, shipped, bought, and cooked JUST so they could have the glory and privilege to be consumed by me, and that their ultimate destiny has culminated to this very moment. As my fork or spoon hovers above them, they would scream ME ME PICK ME NEXT OH PLEASE ME!, as if they can't wait to get into their heaven; my stomach. If they didn't get into food heaven, then the other option was hell: to be cast into the garbage or down the sink, which was a fate worse than death.

I tended to finish my plate, leaving only the rejects behind. A few people asked me why I always left the deformed cheerios behind but I never told them the truth.

[Anonymous No.8253445]

>>8252499
About 4

[Anonymous No.8253571]

>>8237669
Why don't you just putter the bread and put it on a fry pan?

[Anonymous No.8253607]

>>8239169
lol what the fuck

[Anonymous No.8253655]

>>8238646
>>8243652
Adorable

[Anonymous No.8253876]

>>8237669
>I yell and get violent if anyone enters the kitchen while I'm cooking.
hey dad

[Anonymous No.8253976]

>>8237482
This. I remember seeing a movie when I was a kid about a prisoner who made soup out of a cockroach and a bat which he hunted in his cell.

[Anonymous No.8253985]

>>8237482

I don do these anymore but used to pour some sugar into my hand and pretend I was a horse and eat it from the palm of my hand. I also used to open cereal bags up, take them from the box, roll the sides down enough that I could hold it to my mouth and eat the cereal as though I had one of those munchy bag things they tie around a horse muzzle and eat it like that.

I sometimes eat shredded wheat (cereal name) without milk like it's a biscuit - sometimes a sprinkling of sugar. Actually, in general I tend to eat breakfast cereal dry and have my milk in a separate glass.

[Anonymous No.8253997]

>>8237701

When I order footlong subways, I usually eat one half by picking each individual topping separately and then the other half as a sandwich the 'normal' way. Only at home though.

[Anonymous No.8254008]

>>8253985
Um, bro, that is called autism

[Anonymous No.8254512]

>>8253985
I like you

[Anonymous No.8254536]

>>8240967
That cat is so smug
I love it

[Anonymous No.8254583]

>>8237482
I sometime leaves my cooked food on the stove untill dinner, then reheat it and eat it again

[Anonymous No.8254875]

When I was a kid I would chew up crackers and then let my dog lick the chewed up crackers out of my mouth.

[Anonymous No.8254900]

i eat powdered gravy raw with a spoon

[Anonymous No.8254936]

I like to sit down with a meal and then find a cooking show or 'how its made' episode about how to make that meal and watch it while I eat it. sort of like a 'fuck you reality' for all the times i've seen something good on tv or whatever while not being able to eat it.

[Anonymous No.8255106]

>>8253985
When i eat dry cereal i used to pretend i was a young deer eating feed out of someones hand.

Also when feeding birds out of my hand i like the feeling of their beaks hitting the palm of my hand. I would monologue them eating it like a bunch of hungrt stoners eating biscuits. "oh yeah thats some good shit. Yeah! Fucking love bird seed holy shit. oh yeah!"

[Anonymous No.8255217]

when I drive on the highway, I pretend I'm a train conductor

[Anonymous No.8255433]

>>8240628
people at work do this all the time. Drives me nuts

[Anonymous No.8255449]

>>8237594
wut

[Anonymous No.8255458]

I always eat all the fries before even touching the burger.

[Anonymous No.8255486]

I take all the toppings off pizza and eat them separately.

I then take off the cheese, roll it up into a ball, and eat it like a hamster.

Afterwards I lick the sauce off crust.

I leave the crust there and get another slice because what troglodyte eats crust?

[Anonymous No.8255501]

>>8246356
>Morocco
>Balkans
>Turkey

D E U S V U L T

[Anonymous No.8255516]

As a kid I used to take popcorn kernels and make them fight in a monster colosseum. Their forms resembled for me claws and mouths, so I bump them into each other in a dramatic way like a fight to the death.

At the end I ate both the loser and the winner, because I'm a dick.

[Anonymous No.8255522]

>>8237594

[Anonymous No.8255548]

I eat canned soup straight out of the can with a spoon without heating it, or adding water. mushroom soups the best for this

[Anonymous No.8255555]

I like to pretend I'm Hannible Lecter whenever I'm cooking meat.

[Anonymous No.8255556]

>>8255486
>I then take off the cheese, roll it up into a ball, and eat it like a hamster.
That is by far the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

[Anonymous No.8255571]

>>8255486
How do you eat a hamster
Where did you learn how to eat a hamster

[Anonymous No.8255574]

>>8240967
Smug fucking cat.

[Anonymous No.8255579]

>>8255548

Yea I do this and pretend I'm in a real life version of day z

[Anonymous No.8255584]

>>8245707
>I refuse to watch Spirited Away unless I have some sort of asian dish to eat while I watch it because the food looks so delicious in the movie.

I do the same thing! Your husband is lucky.

[Anonymous No.8255589]

>>8255571
You know how the hold it up to their mouths and take lots of small bites very fast? Thats how I do it.

[Anonymous No.8255611]

>>8255589
Oh I thought you meant you'd eat it the same way you'd eat a hamster nevermind

[Anonymous No.8255659]

I eat peanut butter and American cheese sandwiches.

When I eat candy that looks like pills (Smarties, Pez, Tic Tacs, etc.), I pretend they are illegal drugs when I eat them.

I eat the crust first with pizza.

Whenever I eat cheese, I pretend it's the most expensive cheese in the world.

[Anonymous No.8255715]

sometimes if no one else is home and i am drinking something, ill try to lap it up like a dog. it never works and it always frustrates me.

[Anonymous No.8255730]

>>8255715
you gotta curve your tongue anon

[Anonymous No.8255743]

>>8240967
Nice cat.

[Anonymous No.8255747]

I smash the bread on my sandwich and the Bun on my hamburger flat. If I'm eating a hot dog I squeeze the bun flat. Dunno why I do it, I guess I hate overly fluffy bread.

[Anonymous No.8255756]

>>8255659

What is the proper method of eating the most expensive cheese in the world, anon

[Anonymous No.8255799]

>>8255756
Small bites. Crush the bites with your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Spread across your tongue. Scrape off with teeth. Repeat until cheese is gone.

[Anonymous No.8255832]

>>8237508
Frozen Thin Mints are pretty good.

[Anonymous No.8255865]

>>8240152
ANSWER THE QUESTION STEVEN.

[Anonymous No.8255867]

>>8241985
That cat is not fat.

[Anonymous No.8255888]

>>8237493
It would be weird if you didn't.

[Anonymous No.8255921]

>>8237594
This is fantastic. Your life must be so fucking boring for you to come up with such childish games. Thank you, anon, for making me hate myself a little less.

[Anonymous No.8255953]

>>8237482
Every once in a while I'll buy canned baked beans and/or Chefboyardee and eat from the cans pretending I'm living in the fallout universe. Finish that with a bottle of water and listen to the jingle of bottle caps in my pocket.

[Anonymous No.8256035]

>>8249090
>literal shit on a shingle
and I thought chipped beef looked terrible on toast

[Anonymous No.8256042]

>>8252349
When I was in school, we'd grind those up and snort them. Pixie stix too.

We weren't very smart.

[Anonymous No.8256141]

>>8255659
you're fucked

[Anonymous No.8256207]

>>8237482
I dont think its weird, but it always got on the nerves of my exes. I love strong flavors and sauces and at home I always wipe up all of the seasoning or sauce left behind with a finger and eat it to clean the plate. They all would get pissed and say I need to just go get more if I was still hungry, but I dont want more food, I just want to savor the flavor that would be washed down the drain otherwise.

[Anonymous No.8256294]

When I was 14 I would snort kool-aid powder.

Holy fuck was that stuff brutal, not to mention the stains on and in your nose you'd get from it.

[Anonymous No.8256315]

When I eat peanuts, I like to chew them up and pack them in my cheeks, only consuming little bits at a time. I've been caught before when I did it at work and people assumed I was dipping, only to be more razzled at what I was actually doing.

[Anonymous No.8256332]

>>8253408
i do this sometimes too

[Anonymous No.8256341]

>>8256315
im gonna start doing this. like a birdfeeder in my mouth

[Anonymous No.8256352]

I leave aside a small piece of every dinner, stick it into one of those daily pill containers, and keep it in the freezer. At the end of every year, I open all of the pill containers into a large sauce pot, mix it all together, and eat it in thanks for another year of good health and financial security.

[Anonymous No.8256371]

I refuse to eat in the dark even though I hate bright rooms. I have to be able to see my food clearly.

I always check my cereal for worms before eating.

With triangular cut sandwitches, I have to eat the rounded bread half before I eat the squared half.

There was a small phase where I used to drink gatorade like Napoleon Dynamite

I cannot watch or listen to anything when I eat if it disturbs me in some way. It has to take any negative thought away. I feel like if I consume my food while feeling disturbed, that feeling will remain inside of me and disrupt the digestion process. This can be as simple as a burp in a youtube video, or a discussion about politics.

I cannot look at people when I eat because I feel like I will consume their energy, and I only wish for the energy.

My preferred spacing is a minimum of 1.5 meters away from other eaters. Specific people have differet differences depending on if I find their traits desireable.

[Anonymous No.8256373]

>>8256371
only wish for good energy, which they may not have*

[Anonymous No.8256381]

>>8256371
different distances*

Fuck

[Anonymous No.8256400]

When I was a kid I used to make a cereal box wall at my corner of the table because I would go autismo if I had to watch other people eat while I was eating. The temptation remains.

[Anonymous No.8256533]

If I don't want to make pizza homemade, I'll buy a frozen pizza then add toppings and better cheese to it.

[Anonymous No.8256568]

>>8256533

Anon, that's just an easy monday dinner right there!

[Anonymous No.8256654]

>>8256400
I used to do this exact thing but it was only at breakfast.

[Anonymous No.8256660]

I dance while cooking, or talk through it like I'm on some TV show and I'm explaining what I'm doing to an audience.

"We're going to leave that to simmer for a little bit, we've got about 8 minutes and in that time I can have a dance and we'll take an ad break"

[Anonymous No.8256663]

>>8254875
wa la fuck

[Anonymous No.8256746]

I keep chocolate bars in the freezer because I like them really cold and rock hard.

[Anonymous No.8256777]

I ate a worm when I was a kid.
I like to eat Cinnamon Belvita breakfast biscuits/cookies and I dip them in Chobani Key Lime Yogurt. Tastes like a perfect key lime pie any time I want one

[Anonymous No.8257345]

>>8237482
I eat my hawaian pizza with fork and a knife.
Fite me fgts.

[Anonymous No.8257393]

>>8256746
>He likes his big black treats rock hard

[Anonymous No.8257487]

I bake hardtack and eat it with jam and milk.

[Anonymous No.8257565]

I fold my pizza slices

I never finish the last piece of food

[Anonymous No.8257728]

>>8246241
>LITERAL NU-MALE TIER BETA KEKERY FETISHISIZING
>ON 4-CHAN

TOP TAKEN MY LIMMY LAM

[Anonymous No.8257746]

>>8237482
>when i eat soup, sometimes i imagine i'm a prisoner at a concentration camp
well...now you know how they felt.
Living in the 40's

[Anonymous No.8257777]

when I season my food I always say tis, like a incantation:

Salt and pepper
Pepper and salt
If this don't taste good
It's all your fault

[Anonymous No.8257824]

>>8237701
you deeply disgust me, and I know there isn't anything bad with it at all

[Anonymous No.8257909]

WHEN I EAT A SANDWICH I LIKE TO MASSAGE MY LEGS AT THE SAME TIME

[Anonymous No.8257953]

>>8257728
>cuck
I don't think you know what this word means.
Did your grandma cucked you when she told you to eat more?

[Anonymous No.8257961]

>>8239706
You fool

[Anonymous No.8258013]

>>8257953
YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW. MY GRANDMOTHER WAS AN ANGEL AND WOULD NEVER SPEAK SUCH FILTH.

[Anonymous No.8258025]

>>8256400
I always did this to protect me from having to watch my siblings eat.
My brother would always slurp his cereal like a motherfucker and my sister used to eat toasted bread with baloney and a gigantic load of cream cheese. Instead of biting into the corner like every reasonable human being would, she took a huge bite out of the broad side of the bread, covering her entire face in cream cheese and little pieces of baloney. I still can't stand either of these to this day.
>>8256533
I do this very often.

[Anonymous No.8258519]

>>8239416
>take a quick sip of money

[Anonymous No.8258529]

>>8256042
I did that in middle school once. I got called into the principal's office. They had the nurse check up on me, made me call my dad to tell him I snorted candy, and gave me detention for a week. Seemed like overkill

[Anonymous No.8258601]

>>8258529
>detention for a week
>for snorting candy
Where did you go to school, Nazi Germany?

[Anonymous No.8258691]

>>8258601
A 99% white school in Arizona. They probably doled out detentions more enthusiastically since there was no real nefarious shit going down

[Anonymous No.8258846]

>>8237482
When I was a kid I used to chew sandwiches and then keep them in my mouth for like 15-30 minutes before actually eating it...

[Anonymous No.8258849]

>>8241298
Yeah you should, it's da bomb.

[Anonymous No.8259293]

>>8258846
>then keep them in my mouth for like 15-30 minutes

WTF? I dont think I have ever even kept a piece of gum in my mouth for more than 10 min.

[Anonymous No.8259422]

>>8237594
This is pretty fucking great. Thumbs up dude.

[Anonymous No.8259452]

>>8240628
Are you me?

[Anonymous No.8259455]

>>8259452
Did you get drunk last Tuesday, or are you drunk now so that your memory is fucked? Im guessing yes. Yes you did so Yes you are you.

[Anonymous No.8259466]

>>8259455

[Anonymous No.8259740]

I like to take a piece of bread and wipe clean my plate with it and eat it. It drives me crazy when my bf leaves half eaten food and messy plate