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Best of /ck/?
>>8118987
old but gold
Is food funny? I don't know you tell me I don't know you tell me I don't know you tell me I don't know you tell me
>>8118987Isn't that from /fit/ though?
>>8118987He tried releasing a paleo diet book ffor babies recently.
>>8118987honestly the foodmemes thread that's going is phenomenal
>what happened to the guy who whittled a face into a pear? the thread died.>he took so long that the pear turned brown and beat him up for his shoes Wasn't that long ago.
anyone have any replies saved from that old guy who'd post these big walls of texts about random gibberish related to food in these threads. stuff like>it tastes like , remenbance. long timne ago. maybe on several continents. I personally, dislike a dense thick squASH pie. more like a custard. lighten up. they are already selling egg nog. in licqyuoir stores and food stores. and nothing wrong with that. but ultimkately, you ands you alone will deal with it. . to noght, stricken chicken and dumplinging. the dumplings are canned. and I add a can of vegall. and be carefull. there are some things that canna ( yes that reference, lasartus) short of a miricle )_ try to be nice, and ir you cannot to that, stay home , fang you very much. I shattered a TOOTH YESTERDAY. a back wisdom. fortunately, one of the last I had. have fun, be yourself, and be careful. to any one, I got friends tat work in em wards.... don't party to hearty. ... but have a good time. some how, Ive managed to survive, barely. don't matter if halloween, all souls , day of the dead. shit, um stuff, can get out of control. be careful, ck. thanks
>>8120108Wow you really nailed the way he wrote. I miss him.
>>8120108A woman I know texts and speaks like that, as if she can never finish one thought before segueing to the next.
not /ck/ but... food related. And I've never seen it posted on here.
>>8119004>That thread was 2 years agoWhere does time go?
Fuck I'm sick of this image. Whatever retard mocked it up doesn't know how commas work.The faggot that thought the last sentence ended at "coconut" ruins any enjoyment I might have gotten out of it.
I must know the secrets of this sultry technique. Mirror glaze general
>>8120155thats because it isn't funny
>>8120155>College humor Leave and stay leave.
>>8121451kek hahahahaha
>>8121451lol
>>8121769recent classic
>>8121778another fav of mine
>>8121787oh boy
>>8121778I remember this. Did anon ever follow through?
>>8121807idk but I would have liked to have been there
>>8121826I have a cap of that in another style, that's how bad you know it is
>>8121847I like parentposting
this one always makes me question why I ask questions here when these are your fellow posters
>>8121856me too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7Md4YR75qU
>>8121778Jesus Christ Mr OreoI read a little of that routine to my mother - halfway through she said "SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO WROTE THAT JESUS CHRIST"
>>8121877here have some gold
>>8121918mix it up with some kidposting
>>8121880repice sause?
>>8121948watch the video jfc
>>8121964i kinda wanted a website with it on to send to my mum for the banter
does anyone have a cap of that guy cooking live lobster and stomping it with cleats after it got out of the pot?
>>8120108Damn, I miss old rambling guy. Hope he's fine.
Requesting screen cap of the guy with the 2 1/2 cups of flour or what was it
>>8121108in the microwave like everything else
>>8121970just send her the youtube link m8
>>8122072neat
>>8122112>>8122057
>>8122336>>8122342>>8122346stop dude
>>8122342This gets me every time, especially Pier Buddies and Dirt Rockets
>>8120108>tfw he replied to one of my threads
>>8118987I have never liked this meme because it's only funny if you're a retard that doesn't know what any of the terms are>activated almondsYou soak them in water to sprout them.>cultured vegetablesaka fermented, like kimchi, sauerkraut, etc>a homemade coconuta coconut/carob/blueberry/goji/stevia muffinme oog so bad at reading comprehension>emu meatballsit's uncommon but he's fucking Australian, you can buy that shit at the store>alkalised waterthe only legitimate thing you can make fun of because it's fake quack science
>>8122413HAHA, LOOK EVERYBODY, HE SAID ACTIVATED ALMOND! HAHAHAHAHA!!
>>8118987>best of /ck/ is something stolen from /fit/Sounds about right.
>>8122342Back when I worked at a grocery store in the produce section, we kept sales ads from other stores in the back so we could base our prices on the sales ads.I'd print these out and replace the sales ads with them and my boss would always wonder where the fuck Apple Cabin Foods was because he'd never been there before.
>>8122413>Defending this hipster shitAlso I live in Australia we don't eat fucking emu you moron. You actually have to go out of your way to source that shit. You can get kangaroo in places but not emu.Everything on the list is stupid hipster bullshit. Fuck off and eat your activated almonds somewhere else.
>>8122023found it anon
>>8122434You are my hero
>No one posting the one where anon cooks his egg by shooting it with a 9mmbaka it was a scientific breakthrough
>>8122654you know that feel when you read shit like this and just hope that people like this dont actually exist lol
>>8122342this always makes me lose my shit
>>8121964>pluglmfao christ
>>8120108he sounds like that schizophrenic cunt who always used post nonsense on /out/, tbqh
Never forget.
>>8122661I do hope people like this actually exist, my supermarket trips are so boring
>>8122741>finns>white
>>8122798u wot m8
>>8120155Yeah because it's fucking gay normie tier humor. Thank you. Eat shit and die.
>>8122528>>8122957read the thread first
Looking for>"Italian Soup Guy"Pt. 1 and 2 if ya'll have it
>>8118987>eggs in a smoothieThis has always bothered me more than anything else in the image; was he cooking the eggs first? Eating raw egg whites on a daily basis is actually extremely unhealthy.
>>8120108Man, I miss old rambling guy. The drunker I'd get, the more sense his posts made.
>>8122491I don't eat anything on that list. I just know what all of it is. Partially because I sprout lentils and make my own kraut.>actually admitting you live in AusHoly shit, fuck off.
>>8123394Are you talking about Irish Stew Guy?
>>8123394>>8123459If so, then here ya go.
>>8123462
>>8123466
>>8120108pretty sure thats baconrider.he's an og from /n/.
>>8123459>>8123462>>8123466This is fucking GOLD. I wouldn't be surprised if a talented comedy writer that lurks on 4chan wrote these. I remember giggling to myself randomly when this pasta pops into my head,
>>8122741What's wrong with that?
>>8122386...I don't get it
This guy.Until you fucking shits drove him off for reasons I never understood.He would post regular updates.Tbh that was when I lost respect for most of you here and realized you are overwhelmingly cunts and homos.
>>8121964i went on a date with a 22 year old last year (i was 29), she was try-hard into metal so we were talking about metal and rock the whole time. we went to a sushi place and she tells me she doesnt know how to use chopsticks. I say it doesnt matter, we can get a roll and just use your fingers. instead of doing that she STABS it with her fork and my knee jerk reaction is to brace myself against the table with both hands and say "No, no, no, no...." I wasnt prepared to see someone do that. She thought my reaction was hilarious because she was laughing about it. I guess being hot, skinny and 22 is a free pass to do any kind of retarded thing and laugh it off. Also, her fork usage made a mess on the plate with the roll on it and I stopped eating because I was embarresed.
>>8123629He thought it meant 2 1/4 cups, i.e. 1/2 cup (1/4 + 1/4)It meant 2 and 1/4 cups, i.e. 2 whole cups + 1/4
>>8123727just say "don't do that"
>>8123649Let's not get too crazy, that guy was an overwhelmingly pretentious douchebag. I'm all for OC but christ, let's be reasonable.
>>8123727>sushi>chopsticksYou were in a shitty restaurant in all honesty.
>>8123649this. Most posters here are turbo autists that despise seeing OC for some reason. Any time anyone posts an image of something they cooked or actually posts a goddamn recipe, it gets autisticly picked apart, OP is urged to kill himself, aussies post "do Americans do ___" even if OP isnt American, etcits the main reason why this board, like most boards are a rotating cycle of the same bullshit over and over. If its not ramen threads, fast food, joey, food gore, tendie stories, or do americans really do X, it will get chased away. I really liked PHS guy.
>>8123757yeah because I should have taken a college girl that just wants dinner and long island ice teas to a 3 michelin star restaurant.
>>8122604>making lobster with 30 minutes of cooking experience
>>8122604This one's probably my favourite ever.
>>8123781You don't eat sushi with chopsticks.
>>8123781if you're autistic enough to spaz out over someone eating shit the wrong way you might as well
>>8122604thanks man, i fucking love you
>>8121778every time
>>8122434Walgreen's has been giving out free 8x10 photos, so I printed a few out and hung them in my kitchen, the normies are baffled.
>>8122604That fucking punchline has me in tears everytime, god bless that retarded Anon.
>>8121880jesus, she's terrible. didn't she ever look up a recipe? Or how to fry onions? i guess that doesn't matter because she doesn't even use the onions she cooks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVbkC6eMNtAhere she throws away meat after it touched her counter top, while working without gloves
>>8122112lol
>>8123727did you fug?
>>8123478>>8122957>>8122528
>>8120155>Killed a sixer of energy drinksOnly had two.
>>8121880>welcome to the homemade italian cuisineJesus christ. I can't watch this horror show again.
>>8123761>>8123649then leave you entitled cunts
>>8122057Anyone have that Asuka reaction image?
>>8122044well did he?
>>8121778This shit was brilliant
>>8121847>slurpin' bowl>burpin' bowlSupreme kekkery>third chin bowl Absoruterydisgustingu.jpg
>>8121851Oh man, I'm glad you have this one anon. Haven't seen it since chanarchive was kill. Thanks!
>>8122269I have now technically been in a screencapped post. I'm 8118500.
>>8125251I'm jelly
>>8122604oh man I'm in fucking tears rn
>>8123416he made the smoothie and made some eggs on the sidehow autistic is this board
>>8121918that legitimately sounds like mental illness
>>8125251I'm proud of you, anon.
>>8121880How did she fuck up everything there. Canned sauce, contradina mind youCuts onion spasticallyWtf did she do to the garlic"Fresh" wilted basil shit "7 of them" but only has onePour the 1.5 cups of oil into the sauce and throw away the rest of the shitUses metal utensils on stainless cookware and drags the shit out of themHas like 25 bananas on her stoveWhat the fuck, mary
>>8123466>>8123462>>8123459thanks guys
>>8123649He was one of my favorite posters here. Always such nice plates and flatware.
>>8123727Serious question: Does anyone in your family have autism?
>>8122741just kind of looks like a shitty store pizza with some shit put on itbut i don't browse /ck/ much, am i missing something?
>>8122413Keep in mind that is a fit meme I'm pretty sure...
>>8124394>Reading /ck/>Cooking experience
>>8125036they're telling you to do that you mong
>>8124394>Cooking lobster is hardBoil water, add lots of salt, add lobster, boil for about 10 minutes per pound.Wala: "fancy" meal
>>8122071rated less than what it should have been
>>8122342>hocotate grocery store
>>8125674>>8123608
>>8125150yea
>>8123649please come back
Çamping and ran out of butter. So roasted corn and fried some bacon too. Drizzled the grease over the corn.I may never butter corn again, it was so good. Enjoy.
>>8122741>>8125775Literally too good for this thread.
>>8120155That reads so much like an advertisement.
>>8122328got the full images for that one?
>>8118987The thing that triggers me the most about this is that he went into so minute detail about everything then just said fresh fishWhat sort of fucking fish?
The amount of obviously made up and just plain unfunny stories ITT is just embarrassing>>8122057> putting paprika on fried
>>8123466>Hungover from partying until 11 PMEvery fucking time
>>8118987>free range oranges
>>8122413no, it's funny regardless you tremendous sperg
anyone got that guy who nailed a nigel slater impression? bit niche but i liked it
>>8126331i do not, sorry
>>8126543fucking l o l
>>8125276>>8125512>tfw the only screencap i'm in was about a man attempting to get his son to crossdress for halloween
https://youtu.be/zVbkC6eMNtA
>>8126543there is a reason they sell pre-caramelized condensed milk.
>>8123727>I stopped eating because I was embarrassed.legit autism.
>>8123448weak damage control
>>8123757Yo retard I don't know if you are retarded or just retarded but every retard knows you eat sushi with chopsticks, retard.
>>8124523Nigga are you retarded?I live in Japan and we eat sushi with chopsticks.
>>8122342>sleepy mateserrytime
>>8122604My fucking sides
>>8122342>vinegar husbands>white pips: nature's mistakesEvery time.
requesting vagina pickles
>>8120107
>>8127142kinda creepy that this was my captcha for that post
>>8126543That circle just stamped out of the ceiling like a god damn cookie cutter gets me every time.
>>8122622For some reason I didn't save a cap of the actual thread.
>>8127183>For some reasonThe fact that it was stupid and not worth saving?
>>8127191That'll be it.
>>8125441fatties will believe anything besides diet and exercise
>>8126607Post it
Got a fresh one for ya
>>8127504>fresh>already in the threadfaggot
>>8121769>>8121778>>8121787>>8121826>>8121838>>8121847>>8121856>>8121858>>8121918>>8121925>>8121944>>8121964>>8122071>>8122112>>8122957>>8127504>I use Tomorrow
>>8122044>>8125190http://www.awwsam.com/2016/05/cosmic-brownie-milkshake-recipe.html
anybody else remember this thread?
>>8119004Guy actually doesn't seem to have multiple chinsImpressive given the circumstances
>>8127421>after dinner mintsthat magazine was a great source
>>8127973Quality /ck/ thread happening right now.
>>8123649I'd date this bro. Cute china, nurturing enough to have plants, reads Star Trek novels, can bake fresh bread and looks to try to make a tasty meal.It's hard not to be pretentious here when most of the threads are just about making process foods more fattening (IE epic meal time and such)
>>8125775Who was this made by? I legitimately think I know the person that makes this. He calls it the "Salt Lovers" and he loves to lord over everyone that he eats anchovies on pizza.
>>8119004>2014 is considered old nowAh the miserable days where I remember making fun of 09'ers in vidya board.
Does anyone have that "can I use squid ink for tattooing myself" thread?
>>8128102The point is: you're supposed to grow up, sometime. It's embarrassing to claim you're a true oldfag since '07 anymore. (You) have to move on.
>>8120108fuck, i miss this guy
>>8123480I believe this.
>>8129613>>8123480I have my doubts due to a lack of,,,,,,,, comma blasts.However, Bacon ,,,,is,,,, know for his love of ,,,,,,,,,SQUASH,,,,,, and,,,,the fact that he has been ,,,, MIA ,,,,for a while ,,,,,,,TOO.. although someone,,,,,,,SEEMS,, to be posting as him with a different trip and unusual filenames.So, doubtful but plausible. The jury is,,,, OUT.
>>8128229
>>8127886I prefer to not have my retinas burned out of my eyes. Tomorrow is easier on the eyes.
>>8122127I almost died
>>8129909hahahaha holy shit i forgot about that
>>8127886Easier on the eyes, no fedora about it. I was going to say that if you're calling people edgy for liking a dark page then you need to reevaluate who you are as a person, but we're on 4chan so I'm not going to say it sincerely.
>>8123466man it would be great to work with him. have a craving and just tell him what a shitty version im making to have him bring it in the next day
>>8126607Post it>only cap I'm in was the one where the robot was raped by a tranny prostitute
>>8130093There's a continuation for that. Apparently he got HIV.
>>8123649That was me; I'm the one who drove him off.I remember that well. He would start every thread with:>good evening, /ck/>what are you having for dinner tonight>i'm having x, y, and zAnd I would fucking FLIP the fuck out on him, usually mocking his tastelessness and poverty. That was 2010, the year I got divorced, then laid off, then lost a home to foreclosure that I was also court-ordered to hand over to my ex, a legal battle I'm still fighting.I was pretty salty that yearGod, I hope there's an archive of my withering insults.
>>8130110If you have to give your foreclosed house to your ex doesn't that mean her house is foreclosed
>>8123629I think the recipe is for 2 and 1/4 cups of flower, he put 2 1/4 cups in (being 1/2 cup instead of 2 and 1/4 cups).
>>8121880If it wasn't for the oil I would enjoy homemade chef boyardee
>>8130110>I got divorced, then laid off, then lost a home to foreclosure that I was also court-ordered to hand over to my exHow does that work? Shit, here's a foreclosed home for you, bitch.
>>8120108
>>8120108That's all I got.
>>8130093>>8130105
>>8130049>>8129938>starting to defend yourselvesguys,, why bother? I got a chuckle out of >>8121918 and if you didn't take yourself so goddamn seriously, you might have done as well.>>8121918this oen can't be true.
>>8129613Is that the guy from Game of Thrones spectating the race ? Grey clothes one.
>>8130651>tag 16 replies>2 people reply>why are you so defensive lolI'm neither of those anons, but you're being a retard.
>>8121826>Medarge friesJesus Christ.
>>8122957You know this is from /r9k/, right? I was there.
>>8127886Does anyone actually care about what color you use? Are you just salty nobody praised you for your clearly superior taste in 4chan browsing?
>>8126543Hahaha, it's a legit "recipe" too. It's just the can should be always submerged in water.
>>8123459lol anyody in here read A Confederacy of Dunces?
>>8133068This isn't /lit/ so probably not.
>>8133068One of my favorite books hands down.It's a shame there will never be a movie made of it because of the whole "curse" thing.
>>8133099i can't imagine a movie being any good. the writing brings a slapstick quality to actually quite mundane interactions and i don't think a movie would convey that very well without exaggeration
>>8125723>wala
>>8122654That's actually pretty cute. I would probably fuck a guy that was that cute no homo
>>8123466Little disappointed that he didn't point out a shepherd's pie with beef is actually a cottage pie.
>>8121866
>>8133310I'm a little disappointed that you think that way. Because it's wrong.The first recorded recipe for Shepherd's pie calls for beef. It's not called a "shepherd's pie" because of lamb. It's called that because it's a poor-person's dish: a pie made with whatever meat could be found.
fuck this gay thread
>>8128081Over the winter this guy made a new thread about once every week about his pizzas, which were just frozen pizzas with his own combination of toppings and always included anchovies. Always served with a mug of vodka.I'm pretty sure the mods just instantly delete his threads now because I've seen new ones pop up but then they disappear a day later. Which bums me out because I actually like his threads.
>>8127886
>>8134227Damn, you got me. I hate being wrong on the internet. Thanks for the info, I guess.
>>8134315hey there little guy, don't be sad. It takes real guts to admit your wrong. So keep that head up high, because you're a real winner.
Please. Anymore of people taking shits and crying screaming and hurting at the same time?
>>8122336Stay in school kids
Does anyone have a screencap of the original wa la thread?
>>8134641
>>8134661Original wala anon was also hammy down anon.I remember.
>>8134665IM ACTUALLY IN TEARS. THERE ARE TEARS ON MY GLASSES
>>8134665I laughed so hard I nearly coughed myself to death
>>8134665Wow that entire post pretty much describes gamers and how they never learn from their mistakes.
first time on /ck/ I saw two screencaps of a thread where kitchen utensils were described ironically, it came from something like a "fun thread", please somebody post that one I've been searching for it forever
>>8134843See>>8122127
>>8133115a la hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
>>8122127>Pikmin 2 Treasure Hoard Sales Pitch
>>8122622>>8127183>>8127187Looks like bs
>>8121778>GOLDEN>LEAD Haha, I get it!
>>8123459>>8123462>>8123466Textbook sociopath
>>8122127I can't stop cracking up
>>8121838fucking hell
>>8135365textbook not getting the joke
>>8120155fake and titanically gay
>>8121918The Phlogiston theory of food.
>>8120155Honestly giving me nostalgia about playing Skyrim for the first time. Great Christmas, literally played it all night. Too bad my house ended up burning down.
>>8123480Fag got himself killed.Who would've thought a revolver wielding paraplegic spouting gibberish would get into a shoutout with the police?
>>8123629Recipe needed two and a quarter cups, he read it as two quarter cups
>>8121866holy fuck i died
>>8131485You're thinking of the High Sparrow, it's not him
>>8123649I'm new to cooking and have never seen a loaf of bread like that, why is half of it black? A-Are they two different varieties of bread intertwined before baking?
>>8127886I suffer from Visual Snow syndrome.I literally struggle to read anything without Tomorrow.
Classic American OP.
>>8136463Yeah, it looks like a wheat flour dough and a rye dough or something, rolled out into two snakes, and then intertwined prior to proving and baking.
>>8122269>>8125251And I'm 8118181 no joke.I'm glad we've been screencapped, it's my first time
>>8121866Yo, does someone have that corrigan pic in the bottom left corner??
>>8121918My mom thinks that you shouldn't microwave water because it messes with the molecules.
>>8136691>because it messes with the moleculesThat's generally how heating liquids works.
>>8136563Ohkaay, so you made me look up your great post. You fucking retard.
>>8134661Bumping for this. My favorite thread from here ever
Does anyone have the video of an italian women making a tradional tomato sauce, made almost entirely out of oil
>>8126314Considering the game's hyper-inflated ad budget (seriously it was like 20 times the budget of the actual game), I honestly think it is an ad.
>>8136773She's not Italian I think.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7Md4YR75qU
>>8123480believe it or not i gave baconrider his nickname, dont go to /n/ much these days tho>>8136345pls elaborate
>>8134249Damn, not the same guy. He can't drink anymore because of health issues, and he won't spend the money on those "expensive" toppings
>>8134665My sides------> ORBIT ACHIEVED
>>8136893WHY DID SHE THROW ALL THE ONIONS AWAY?And why did she have that many bananas?
>>8136893WTF I totally forgot about this disaster. Thanks, asshole.
>>8138188I'm impressed by the rabbit "recipe", didn't even know you could eat rabbit till I was like 12
>>8134661It never seems to get posted for some reason
>>8134756Actually reminds me of a story a sort of famous gamer told once.
>>8138186
>>8138186I was in that thread but didn't make the screencap>>8138484not anywhere near subtle enough with the racism you nigger
>>8138577go fuck yourself you coalburning noglips
>>8138605Captain Tact here to the rescue....NOT!
>>8134686Whoever wrote this is a master at their craft.
>>8138608haha good one now kill yourself
>>8138205I remember learning it at about 6, I was watching Bugs and someone threatened him with hasenpfeffer. I asked my parents what that meant and was horrified by the discovery. At that age rabbits were pets, not pests.I've never actually tried rabbit. They look pretty tasty though.
>>8136504my fucking god i remember this thread
>>8120108 I almost forgot about old rambling guy.I remember seeing posts like that when I first started coming to this board.
>>8121769>Kids who use cayenne pepper don't get bullied>Kids who use black pepper mightI'm dead
>>8121826>Eating deskWtf man..
>>8118987What exactly is the point of drinking alkalised water after you pour acid into it?
>>8138188>Americans
>>8121826>Eating desk
>>8122342My favorite. Fuck anyone who thinks this isn't funny.
>>8123459>Get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me
>>8127890If this doesnt give me the shits i'm gunna be disappointed.
>>8139160Makes it a tiny bit fizzy and salty I guess?
>>8138188the pear one was really cute
>>8138188I wanna try making some of these just for shits and giggles. Maybe not the pizza cooked for 5 hours.
>>8138923I had it in Saint Louis when I was maybe 16. It was pretty good, kinda like a more tender chicken, but I'd want to try it again at a nicer place sometime.
bump