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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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8068952 No.8068952 [Reply] [Original]

What does /ck/ cook up when a girl comes over?

>> No.8068965

Nothing. I have meals already prepped.
Also if I had to start dating again I wouldn't make a thing. I have anxiety that gives me diarrhea or makes me feel nauseous.

>> No.8068968

Shish kebabs. They cream over my sirloin and Italian dressing soaked vegetables.

I grill them out in the yard with the radio on. We drink our beverages and chat away while I master chef the fuck out of the grill.

Once she's loaded and well fed, I nail her on the patio.

>> No.8069012

what girl ?

>> No.8069047

>>8068952
>cooking for girls in my kitchen

i take them out. im not a cheap bastard

>> No.8069075

>>8068968
nice brag

>> No.8069097

>>8069075
brice nag

>> No.8069117

>>8068952
Pick up the bill cosby cookbook it full of great first date recipes

>> No.8069121

>>8068952
wine and cooked wine

>> No.8069130

>>8068952
I'll cook her a nice cock if you catch my drift

>> No.8069195

>>8068952
Nothing. The girl is already at my place. She is here to fuck. Why would I feed her?

>> No.8069209
File: 2.93 MB, 2048x1751, 11222010-298.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8069209

>>8069195
Real casanova we got here, lads.

>> No.8069217

>>8068952
The only time I had a girl in my apartment was when I asked my neighbour about the broken heating.

>> No.8069351

Why would I cook for a girl? I'm not gay.

>> No.8069374
File: 184 KB, 1500x1479, foreveralone.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8069374

Girl never come over
I'm forever alone

>> No.8069375

Butternut sqash ravioli with a bacon becheml sauce and red wine...its delicious and heavy makes the girl just want to watch a movie and drink more wine. I call it my panty dropper pasta.

>> No.8069387

>>8069375
>I call it my panty dropper pasta.
Not in front of people I hope...

>> No.8069392

>>8068952

I cook well in general so I don't have to specifically plan out dishes to impress girls.

My girlfriend loved the clammy pasta with shallots and white wine butter sauce I made her recently so we've done that a couple times since

>> No.8069397

>>8069375

>white sauce
>red wine

try

>> No.8069398
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8069398

uterus parts with a little garlic and some wine

>> No.8069403

>>8068952
Probably a 5 course diner involving subtle and light flavours. Probably some sea food start with a feather light bisque then scallops with almond oil and a cauliflower puree with a hint of rocket. Maybe a lobster with a saffron mayonaise. Obviously a citrus desert (bergamot and buddha's hand) which is luscious with chocolate. And to finish an Irish coffee laced with rohyphnol so I'm sure I'm getting laid.

>> No.8069407

>>8068952
Spaghetti with a simple tomato sauce or pasta with steak and creme sauce. Both are light meals that take only a few minuets to make and are virtually impossible to fuck up.

>> No.8069417

>>8069397
Yup white sauce red wine and i still get laid....actually now married and with two kids. I made it on our second date....soooo have fun masterbating in your own tears after you get off your deep fryer tonight

>> No.8069560

>>8068952
depends on the girl.

The first few dates i take her out. So i know what she likes.

And then i can cook a meal i think she would like.

>> No.8069588

>>8069397

Red wine is an aphrodisiac. If you are trying to get a woman into bed with you, why use anything else?

>> No.8069618
File: 280 KB, 400x388, deadtired.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8069618

I only ever managed to get one date with a girl, a 44 year old single mother from work when I was 22
I tried to impress her by making Lasagna for us both but I didn't think it went far enough
Her son was 19 at the time and still lived at home, so I found his picture on Facebook. I put it into a picture frame and halfway through dinner bought it into the room, put it on the table with a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese and said 'haha, my new step-son is a picky eater!'.
She got really fucking offended and ended up telling people I tried to rape her.

>> No.8069625

Don't think I've ever offered anything but a bottle of wine to a chick I'm getting to know. Gets them in the mood for all kinds of unimaginably nasty shit they wouldn't do sober like having sex with me.

>> No.8069630

>>8069618
holy fucking shit anon this cant be real

>> No.8069632

>>8069618
Include me in the reddit screencap.

>> No.8069644
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8069644

>>8069618
This isn't real. This can't be real

>> No.8069651

>>8068952
>when a girl comes over
What the fuck are you talking about

>> No.8069652
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8069652

>>8069618

>> No.8069655
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8069655

>>8069217
>getting a girl to look at a maintenance problem for you
Wew lad

>> No.8069661
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8069661

>>8069618

>> No.8069670
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8069670

>>8069618
Pls be real. It's almost as cringe as the time I made stir fry for a girl and told her I had included her dog in the dish (whom I had hid in the basement closet). She cried all throughout dinner thinking it was true, but kept eating it anyways. Not sure why I didn't tell her sooner, but at least I got to 69 before getting kicked out of her house.

>> No.8069671
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8069671

>>8069618

>> No.8069690

>>8069618
I'll take things that didn't happen for 500

>> No.8069694
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8069694

>>8069618

>> No.8069695

i offer her left overs from the dinner my mom made

>> No.8069708

Crawfish etouffee and fried frog legs. Gotta hit up them fresh local ingredients, man. And bitches love seafood.

>> No.8069717
File: 66 KB, 450x300, rustic-style-hand-cut-cheddar-cheese-and-pickle-sandwich-made-with-home-made-bread.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8069717

>>8068952
Well i plan to make my specialty for breakfast if the night goes well. Bahemian Tuna + Grits.

For dinner i'll cook something easy and fun, like old el paso roasted red pepper vegitas.

I wont do what i did last time, and make the two girls who came over a sadwich which was a towering mass of branston pickle with too much vinegar in it. So much that she couldnt even eat it all and only took two bites.

>> No.8069719
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8069719

>>8069618

oh yeah?

>> No.8069725
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8069725

>>8069618

>> No.8069730
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8069730

have my Mom make 2 boxes of macky cheese and chop up an extra hot dog or two into it

>> No.8069734
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8069734

tbqh i usually drop a roofie in a mixed drink and offer it to her

then i dump her lifeless body into the dumpster at my apartment complex

>> No.8069752

>>8069618

Poe's law all over again. Are you one of the legendary rusemasters or a true autist? I will never find out.

>> No.8069789

Very basic stuff for a first home meal

>hey femanon,let's keep it simple tonight
>wait for her to arrive and have all ingredients for simple meal ready
>prep ground chuck for burgers
>have her handle mac and cheese
>but anon,I've never made it from scratch
>that's okay,here,let me show you
>place firm grip on her waist,point and ask her to grab ingredients one by one while maintaining firm grip, and instruct her on how to made a basic cheese sauce
>go back to ground chuck and ask her how she likes her burger
>"well done please"
>not today gorgeous
>pull out some pre made dough from previous day for buns
>here you go sugar,place these in the oven for me,would ya?
>toss nice summer salad regardless of season,spinach,bean sprouts,tomatoes,twist of lemon and lime

total cook time about 30 minutes including buns,prep time 24 hours for dough,+10minutes prior to femanon coming over

impresses every bitch ever

Have a simple meal,have some sex,and if she already knew what she was doing with the cheese sauce,then consider future dates

so far bitches continue to be basic and not worthy of raising my children,maybe someday /ck/

>> No.8069799

>>8069789
So obese AND white trash

>> No.8069811
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8069811

>>8068968
>/r/edpill

>> No.8069813
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8069813

>>8069618
my fucking sides

>> No.8069823
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8069823

>>8069618
>could such an autist exist?
>research says yes

>> No.8069830

>>8069789
things that never happened for 100

>> No.8069832

>>8068952
Why the fuck would you have wings cooked in a sauce, and THEN have dipping sauces on top...

Completely ruined

>> No.8069837
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8069837

>>8069789
so suave, im already wet

found this picture of you by the way

>> No.8069841

>>8069789
cringe as fuck desu senpai

>> No.8069859

I dont have to cook any thing as my Guy Fuaeri frosted tips and stacked wallet makes woman gush in there panties.

>> No.8069878

>>8068965
we're either the same person, or you're a troll and I'm the worthless piece of shit human you described.

>> No.8069880

All the eggs.

>> No.8069883

Alton Brown's Pork Wellington, sauteed snap peas with garlic, some random side dish, and a good white/red wine, depending on her preference
super easy and it impresses the bitches

>> No.8069978
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8069978

>>8069618
>Her son was 19 at the time and still lived at home, so I found his picture on Facebook. I put it into a picture frame and halfway through dinner bought it into the room, put it on the table with a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese and said 'haha, my new step-son is a picky eater!'.

>> No.8070022

>>8069047
Most girls appreciate the effort anon. Its not about being cheap or not, its the effort required. A girl would know you gave a shit outside of throwing money at things to impress her.

>> No.8070024

>>8069374

Get out of here, 9gag

>> No.8070044

>>8069690
Who fucking cares. Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

>> No.8070047
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8070047

>>8068952
>when a girl comes over

>> No.8070053
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8070053

>>8070047

yeah....yeah

>> No.8070275
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8070275

>>8068952
nigga you don't feed the hoe, da fuq is you doin bruh?

>> No.8070435
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8070435

>>8069789
Only part that sounded worthwhile was the salad tossing

>> No.8070456

>>8068952
Steamed salmon with lemon and dill, with a bit of rive pilaf, a light salad dressed with simple herbs and olive oil, all served with a Riesling or fruity Piersporter wine.

Dessert of an Affogato coffee

Women don't fuck on a full stomach of a heavy meal.
Gotta keep it light.

>> No.8070664
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8070664

Jesus christ you faggots are making this way too hard. Grilled chicken with a salad and nice wine, or a steak and baked potato with a dark beer.

>> No.8070666

>>8069117
underrated post.

>> No.8070670

>>8068952
Make this for me and Ill suck your dick

>> No.8070681

Homemade pizza,
Nice, fruity italian wine (valpolicella)
tiramisu
rohypnol

>> No.8070688
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8070688

>>8069618

>> No.8070755

don't let them know where you live because if you stick your dick in crazy there's no escape

>> No.8071561

>>8069618
Holy sweet mother of keks

>> No.8071562

>>8071561
Kek

>> No.8071587
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8071587

>>8069618
You're the reason why I always come back to 4chan, Anon.

>> No.8071591

>>8068952
Breakfast.

>> No.8071618

>>8069417
>actually now married and with two kids
>>soooo have fun masterbating in your own tears

you are the one that went and ruined your life by getting married and having 2 kids.

>> No.8071637

>>8069195
>She is here to fuck.
Making great assumptions there. She's only visiting you to see if she'll get any free food out of it.

>> No.8071660

Kinda depends on the mood, but I usually make something we previously agree in, as not to risk any allergy. I also like to get her involved to create a fun activity instead of me "showing off".
If it's dinner, I always make desert.

Last time, I made some creamy scrambled eggs with toasted croissants and orange juice for breakfast.

>> No.8071671

>>8068968
>fucking on a really full stomach

gross

>> No.8071692

>>8071671
Specially for a woman
You've filled her stomach with fatty heavy foods
Then you expect she'll want you shoving your "sausage" in her?
Nope, doesn't happen.

If a woman feels too full, it's either no loving, or a quick BJ

A light meal, a simple protein (fish or chicken) some veg (no beans), a starch like rice, no bread or carbs, some fruity wine and a tiny little dessert that is not too cloyingly sweet.
Great Success.

>> No.8071697

>>8071618
>having a family is ruining your life

this is your brain on autism

>> No.8073041

>>8069832
Took ya long enough to get triggered

>> No.8073066
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8073066

Three whole pizzas, split between the twixt of us. All three are Meat Lovers. Then we become the meat lovers.

We run our greasy sausage scented fingers over eachother's bodies and for 2 whole hours fill our bedspread with farts and our toilet with big, hefty shits. The night ends when we and our 2 2-liter bottles of Dr Pepper are exhausted.

>> No.8073327

I've made just about everything for dinner-at-home dates; Oysters Rockefeller for this one random trust fund bitch all the way down to personalized juicy lucys with the girl I'm currently with.

Here's the real deal, and you guys can take it or leave it: honestly, when you make something for a girl, it's either because you want to show off, or you want to cook with her. And which one it is depends on your read: if she's prissy, or likes food but is domestically clueless, go with the former; if she's more down-to-earth, or likes to cook herself, then go with the latter, cook with her and be playful in the kitchen to get her laughing.

Hey, maybe you learn that she's actually a better cook than you and it's a nice little bonding moment. Or she's not at all appreciative of the effort you put in and you dump her ass to the curb next chance you get because that's one of the biggest possible red flags. But either way you find out how to move forward.

>> No.8073562
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8073562

>>8069618
Jesus christ

>> No.8073574

>>8068952
Why would I cook for my roommates girlfriend?

>> No.8073618
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8073618

>>8069618

>> No.8073693
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8073693

>>8069618
God job anon

>> No.8073804

Cheeseburger Gnocchi <3

>> No.8073808

Women are easy to impress. Just name off some easy to cook french shit and roll around in all the pussy you get.

>> No.8073935

>>8073808
Don't even need to do that, just give them some bread. They're basically ducks.

>> No.8073941

>>8073935
>They're basically ducks.

Ok that made me laugh.

>> No.8073942
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8073942

>>8068952
>when a girl comes over
>girl

>> No.8074015

>>8073935

Well done.

>> No.8074470
File: 79 KB, 640x628, tumblr_nrph8pX8Gl1uvuwdlo1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8074470

>>8069655
>1449507946700.jpg

You're in big trouble, son.

>> No.8074486
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8074486

>>8068952

>when a girl comes over

>> No.8074491

>>8068952

For my current gf I Made Burritos. Like 10 fucking bowls of toppings so you can make them yourself. Relationship is still going very strong after 3 years. Take from that what You Want.

>> No.8074516

I opened a can for a stray cat once.

>> No.8074518

>>8074491
Wow this post Is Unsettling.

>> No.8074521

>>8074491
you have to Go Back

>> No.8074536
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8074536

>>8069618

>> No.8074543
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8074543

>>8074491

> I cook for my girlfriend instead of having her cook for me like a good woman is supposed to. Fuck gender stereotypes!

If she hasn't already cheated on you (she has), when you actually catch her in the act, I want you to remember this post. You're the reason white women are breeding outside the race. You white male beta piece of shit. Kill yourself.

>> No.8074546

>>8074543
t. kissless, hugless 24-year old virgin

>> No.8074547

>>8074546

Just remember what I said.

>> No.8074549
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8074549

>>8069618
I picked a good day to check /ck/

>> No.8074550
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8074550

A little bit of spice makes existence extra nice ;-)

>> No.8074555
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8074555

>>8069618

You fucked up a 100% sure thing. Nigger there was like no way she wasn't going to do whatever you wanted due to being a hopeless shell of a human being and you fucked it up.

>> No.8074566
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8074566

>>8069618
>I put it into a picture frame and halfway through dinner bought it into the room, put it on the table with a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese and said 'haha, my new step-son is a picky eater!'.

>> No.8074586

>>8069618
this probably didn't happen to you but god damn I bet this happened to someone

some poor miserable bastard.

>> No.8074615

Cooking for a woman is such a bitch move. It always looks like you're trying too hard to impress her, which is never a good thing. So unless the woman and I have been seeing each other for a while and I actually like her, I never cook. The only thing on offer is alcohol.

>> No.8074617

>>8073066
I need to shower now.

>> No.8074643
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8074643

>>8068952
a girl comes over every day. I guess I make a smoothie or like.. whatever.
More importantly, what should I cook if a guy comes over?

>> No.8074644

>>8074643
>fags
>mating
You can't make babies, dead-end.

>> No.8074651

>>8074644
who do you think is the girl that comes over every day, nerd?

>> No.8074692

>>8068952
why would a girl be coming over to my house?

>> No.8074699

>>8074692

to enjoy the natural act of sexual intercourse

>> No.8074706
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8074706

>>8069618
I want to be in the reddit screencap please

>> No.8074723

Why are so many of you being so awkward about this?

>> No.8074780 [DELETED] 
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8074780

>>8074723
>awkward
Wrong term, awkward is if the guy makes $100k-200k

The tiers are
$200k+ adorkable
$150k-200k: cute
$100k-150k: awkward
$50k-100k: creepy
$0-50k: scary

Shift down by one register if the guy is under 6'2"
Shift down by two registers if the guy is under 5'10'

>> No.8075288

I don't cook FOR a woman when she comes over. I ask her if she wants to make dinner TOGETHER.

>> No.8075382

>>8068952
I dip my cock in chocolate and tell her Bon Ape Titties.

>> No.8075394

>>8074699
>gays
>natural act of sexual intercourse

Pick one.

>> No.8075398

>>8075288
You smooth fuck.

>> No.8075415

>>8074780
what ?

>> No.8075432
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8075432

>>8069618
>JUST

>> No.8075635

>>8068952
>'bout
Is a good way to turn her off.

>> No.8075734
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8075734

>>8071692
this

>"bby want sum fuk?" after eating
NOPE

>> No.8075736

>>8069398
Nothing in there is ok

Good lord I find new and exciting reasons to go gay EVERY SINGLE DAY

>> No.8075742

>>8069618

hi r/4chan/, your mods suck dick.

>> No.8075777

>>8074543
>Women don't want to date me
>Must be because i'm white
Self reflection doesn't literally mean you should look at yourself in a mirror.

>> No.8075795

>>8068952
>no bleu cheese for the wings

Have fun getting blueballed anon

>> No.8077247

>>8071692
Very true. Whenever my boyfriend have a heavy meal, I never want to have sex afterwards. Don't feel quite as sexy with a full stomach.

>> No.8077278

>>8075795
who said someone can come over, im bout to watch a movie and eat

>> No.8077280

Blue box mac n cheese With a handful of sharp cheddar.

>> No.8077401
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8077401

>>8069618
shit man what the fuck are you doing?

>> No.8077460
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8077460

nothing gets a bitch wetter than a couple of ice sammies

>> No.8077471

>>8068952
>Implying
>m
>p
>l
>y
>i
>n
>g

>> No.8077481
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8077481

Here you go, fags.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KiJj_J5ZAxzE80lx6AiGjX8Fga6tJCz2kJNB0UC218c/edit

>> No.8077485

>>8074543
This is what the aut-right is doing. Turning cooking for your girlfriend into a political statement. Kill yourself, you're just as bad as a sjw.

>> No.8077546

>>8074780
>6'3 but ugly and make 22k a year
Good thing I only like anime girls

>> No.8077567

>>8077460
Fuck, this made me laugh.
>ice sammies
Heh

>> No.8078364

>>8068952
why would you need to cook for when a girl you barely know comes over? I dont mind cooking for my gf but for someone who I just met it just seems kinda overdoing it, unless you think your cooking skills are the only thing that might impress someone

>> No.8078380

>>8068952
>LEAFY BEDDING
why do people do this
it's such a shitty garnish
no one even bothers eating it after it's soaked up all the grease and sauce

>> No.8078415
File: 33 KB, 572x452, 1470181528871.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8078415

>>8069618
Holy fucking autism

>> No.8078418
File: 1.59 MB, 325x235, 1461546153173.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8078418

>>8069618
This is why I still browse 4chan.

>> No.8078445

>>8068952
>when a girl comes over?

Pic related

;-;

>> No.8078450

>>8071618
autism

>> No.8078464

>>8069195
this the only real answer.

slut? do what he said.

gf? cook.

>> No.8078523

Cook something fucking decent, you autists.

>> No.8078560
File: 93 KB, 348x363, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8078560

>>8073327
>be playful in the kitchen

>> No.8078650

>>8078560
I'm a grill and I fucking hate it when people play in the kitchen. FOCUS ON YOUR JOB OR JUST LET ME DO EVERYTHING MYSELF REEEE

ok yeah it triggers me

>> No.8078797

>>8068952
BBQ

>> No.8078803

>>8078650
autism
i love to cook with my gf and were always messing around and cracking jokes. its called a relationship for a reason

>> No.8078815

The most fattening food I can make.

>> No.8078822

>>8078803
I bet she'd put some salt on that little slug

>> No.8078824

>>8069117
KEK

>> No.8078836
File: 54 KB, 514x536, 1468155422570.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8078836

>>8069618
How can you be self-aware enough to tell the story but not self-aware enough to do what you did? Jesus crhist

>> No.8078854

i usually make a spicy ol' curry that'll give her the squits within an hour and a half and then when she does her squelchy blasty poo i touch myself while up against the door

>> No.8078911

If such a thing would occur, I'd probably make the couscous I often make when I'm cooking for people. It's with chicken, feta, raisins, dried apricot, some veggies and spices. It's always a hit. It does take quite some cutting, so either I'd have to do that in advance, or she'll have to help me out a bit.
Of course, I would consult in advance to see if she has any allergies/dislikes.

>> No.8078927

>>8078803
>autism
probably

I do the same thing, but I guess I'm just a kitchen tyrant. On the other hand, physical contact in the kitchen tends to trigger me. It could be my small kitchen or me just being used to having relationships with people who don't cook much. lol sorry for the blog post

>> No.8079160
File: 2.64 MB, 320x240, 1327607250587.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8079160

>>8069618
m8

>> No.8079279
File: 22 KB, 218x265, 1455740029077.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8079279

>>8069618
This is fucking hilarious, but what the fuck are you doing. Just end it my man.

put me in that screencap.

>> No.8079387

>>8068952
Not for a girl but when my bf comes over this october im going to make him pumpkin pie and cookies, and some ribs maybe

>> No.8079426

>>8079387
>>>/lgbt/

>> No.8081201
File: 32 KB, 480x270, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8081201

>>8069117
I've made quite a few recipes from that book but I can never remember what they taste like.

>> No.8081292
File: 239 KB, 957x724, 1439503899439.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8081292

>>8069618

>> No.8081303

>>8068952
Whatever you do make sure it is something light or you'll never get laid. Bitches don't like to fuck after a heavy meal.

>> No.8081313
File: 284 KB, 800x800, 1333276548836.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8081313

>>8069618
Comedy gold

>> No.8081525

I don't feed girls I have over unless im really in to them.,,

this girl came over tuesday night and I didn't feed her for 24 hours. we went to the store and she bought $25 worth of junk food with stamps...I couldn't get that bitch out of my house fast enough.

The minute she left I made myself a meal.

>> No.8081532

>>8068952
I would eat a girls asshole if she served me this.

>> No.8081663
File: 37 KB, 440x386, 1470943824663.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8081663

>>8069618

>> No.8081704

>>8069403
Cook that for all ur m'ladies?

>> No.8082066

>>8069618
There's no way a human being did this. Impossible. No way.

but if by some chance actually you did all that,
>ended up telling people I tried to rape her
This is absolute scumbaggery, but you know what, fuck you. You deserve it.

>> No.8082067
File: 269 KB, 374x334, 1413070437574.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8082067

>>8069618

>> No.8082446

>>8068952

My girlfriend (who I live with) really likes it when I grill or smoke something. I also like to do chicken catsu, frittatas, omelets, deep dish pizza, whatever really. Quesadillas, taco salad.
Today we went to the farmers market and walked around drinking margaritas and taste testing all the tamale vendors.

>> No.8082741

>>8069618
wtf did I just read

>> No.8082835
File: 474 KB, 188x174, 1401422009115.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8082835

>>8073066

>> No.8082855
File: 610 KB, 1704x1704, bowl-of-eggs1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8082855

I usually have a bowl of eggs ready in case I want to impress some girl

>> No.8082863
File: 2.97 MB, 960x540, 1465091093250.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8082863

>>8082855

>> No.8082879

I take her out for dinnef so she doesn't think I'm cheap

>> No.8083463

>>8069618
you have to be seriously mentally unwell to respond to your own post as many times as you did. you probably took a screenshot of it too with all of the responses to repost in threads about epic ck posts. anyways the story wasnt very funny and since its made up and you couldve just said anything its weird how bad it is. have a good one and i hope whatever causes you to be the way you are is fixable

>> No.8083465

A big boner

>> No.8083487
File: 185 KB, 1417x949, huevos con chorizo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8083487

>>8068952
huevos y chorizo

it's to get her in the mood for sucking my chorizo and gargling my huevos

>> No.8083621

>>8069618
I somehow feel sad for you.

>> No.8083649

I keep meeting such homely lasses we just end up cooking together from the night 1.

In my place, it's most likely some sort of soup or fish thing, she likes rice and pseudo-eastern stuff.

>> No.8083816
File: 30 KB, 400x374, tTC2G.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8083816

>>8083487
Underrated post!

>> No.8085265

>No girl wants to have sex after being full
What kinda girls are you lads even fucking because if you aren't fucking them after feeding them I don't know WHAT the hell you're doing.

>> No.8085419

>>8083487
I hope that's from La Rioja or Castilla y León at least.

>> No.8086090

>>8082863
Boiled is always better.

>> No.8086419

>>8085265
>He doesn't take them to a bar

>> No.8086584

>>8068965
Its called IBS

>> No.8086622

>>8068952
Not a heap of frozen shit from Costco.

>> No.8086636

>>8074543
>Trusting other people to cook for you
Haha.

>> No.8086695
File: 1.70 MB, 640x480, laffin.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8086695

>>8069618
Probably fake but that's still fucking gold.

>> No.8086854

>>8068952
i just take em out, they dont appreciate the food anyway

>> No.8086879
File: 72 KB, 920x227, kek.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8086879

>>8069618
The screen if anyone wants it.

>> No.8086896

>>8086879
Wait until the thread is nearly dead because there will be more replies before then.

>> No.8086902

>>8069618
Huh?

>> No.8086916

>>8068952
>How 'bout Netflix & heart disease?
No thanks bitch.

>> No.8086924

small macaronis and ham

>> No.8086999

>>8069618
I've always wanted to feature in a screenshot.

I may never have kids but the meme'ry of my digits will live on forever!

>> No.8087002

>>8069618
wew

>> No.8087081
File: 84 KB, 574x574, I&#039;M ON FIERI.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8087081

>>8086999
include me in the screenshot

>> No.8087362

I made some Thai curry for a friend of mine once. She liked it. I was expecting her to burn her mouth but that didn't happen.

>> No.8087377
File: 201 KB, 1045x1335, tumblr_niy780iqtr1u99kf2o1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8087377

>>8069403
>with a hint of rocket
what did he mean by this?

>> No.8087482

>>8069588
Well fucking duh

>> No.8087505

feed her extra chicken tendies that mommy made me with my good boy points

>> No.8087980

>>8074543
>trusting a woman to cook for you

All the top chefs are men you dork

>> No.8088006

>>8087377
Rocket is was Brits call Rutabaga

>> No.8088009

>>8068952
my jizz in a cup

>> No.8088074
File: 53 KB, 460x288, this salad is the worst.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8088074

>>8068952
The only type of girl you'll bag with that kind of plate are the overweight bruh ones, unless you're dating one of those bar hopping cardio bunnies which I doubt anyone on 4chan has the aesthetic means or mutual interests to pick up.

Every nerdy thin girl I've ever dated was either a picky eater or had an underlying eating disorder, and they've always rejected that kind of fried or carby stuff like pasta. Even though they always said they loved food. Liars.
Apparently one girl I dated just ate the veggies I'd cook to be polite, she'd always push the other food I made to the side or nibble like a bird before claiming to be full. I'd prepare gorgeous meals like sea bass and lamb but she'd never touch em. I later found out through mutual friends that she had confessed to throwing up "unsafe" meals in my bathroom sink because she was afraid of getting fat instead of going for a walk or something. That explained why my bathroom sink was always mysteriously clogged with mushy pink gunk. That fucking broad had a hard time eating anything but veggies and chicken but even then only certain vegetables because stuff like broccoli was gross to her. Couldn't even take her to restaurants or festivals without her getting this nervous look in her eye, so one time I was joking around and said "What, afraid you'll get fat?" and she broke down and accused me of thinking she was some hamplanet for hours after that. She'd always say to our friends that she loved food but after awhile we all knew she had a problem.

So yeah, I don't even waste my time preparing anything but snack foods for bitches if they're just going to chuck later. At best they'll get some hummus and veggies from me if I'm feeling generous.

>> No.8088093

>girl comes over
kek

>> No.8088101

My gf is vegetarian so salads, pasta or halloumi mostly

>> No.8088107

>>8069880
All the shitposting, and no one comments on this? I'm intrigued.

>> No.8088126

>>8088107
It's a relatively old meme.

>> No.8088366

You don't. Take her out

>> No.8088406

>>8086879
>this much samefagging
Holy shit it's not even funny. Just sad.

>> No.8088429

Fettucine Alfredo. Works every time.
But obviously I cant confirm this because no gf : /

>> No.8088795

>>8088074
110lbs 65cm/5'5" female, eat pizza/wings/bread/potatoes/sugar all in moderation. never throw up.

not all girls are fucking morons man.

>> No.8088819

>>8088074
That's actually most girls
I hang out with a thicc Puerto Rican chick and she's always bringing food over here and never finishing it
Which sucks because it just means that I have to clean up her food garbage every single time
She's like 5'4" and if I had to guess her weight it'd be at least 160 because I can put her on my shoulders and it's not a huge problem, but she's still got decent tits and a giant ass

>> No.8089534

>>8088074
>underlying eating disorder

Jesus Christ man, that not an underlying disorder, that's a full blown eating disorder and bulimia.
Were you really more concerned over her not eating your "gorgeously prepared" meals then her well being, fucking aspies I swear to god.

>> No.8089609

>>8069618
You SOB I kek'd so loud I woke up my baby.

>> No.8089987

>>8083463
You must be fun at parties that luckily people like you don't get invited to

>> No.8089992

>>8069618
all me

>> No.8090035

>>8069789
>forcibly grab a girl by the wrist without warning and direct her hands to pick things up like she's a 3 year old quadriplegic

Have you ever spoken to a woman anon?

>> No.8090038 [DELETED] 

>>8069789
>femanon
you mean body pillow

10/10 good stuff, it's why I come to 4chan

>> No.8090717

>>8083463
>i didnt like it so no one else is allowed to!
are you retarded

>> No.8091264
File: 71 KB, 592x492, el o le.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8091264

>>8069618

>> No.8091283

>>8069618
include me in the picture

>> No.8091333
File: 4 KB, 198x255, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8091333

>>8069618
You're the reason I still come to this Mongolian hentai forum.

>> No.8091340
File: 172 KB, 311x301, Ylqil26.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8091340

>>8091333
checked

>> No.8092211

>>8068952
>let's watch netflix and eat greasy shitty food

Too many people waste their lives doing this.

>> No.8092223
File: 29 KB, 399x582, 1407440086671.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8092223

>>8069618

>> No.8092368
File: 799 KB, 1920x1090, 1473801785983.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8092368

>>8069618
Everything ever is wrong with this story.

>> No.8092378

>>8069618
>what do you want to be when you grow up, anon
>wanna be in a screenshot!

>> No.8092525

>>8068968
It would be a lot more moral if you nailed her on the cross.

>> No.8092548

>>8069789
ur first meal with a girl is burgers with a side of mac and cheese?

>> No.8092626
File: 346 KB, 439x500, feel together.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8092626

>>8070047

>> No.8093262

>>8069047
alpha fucks beta bucks

nice guys cook

>> No.8093274
File: 38 KB, 400x330, woody_17b6su4-17b6suk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8093274

>>8068952
>What does /ck/ cook up when a girl comes over?

a little romance, natch

>> No.8093510

I've only ever had one girl come over and it was back in high school during a project. Made some simple cream spaghetti with a bit of meat and chopped vegetables on the side. She kept joking over how I'd make a great husband some day, I still thank whatever deity looks upon me for not allowing me to mix up or spaghetti and the one cascading out of my pockets.
We ended up watching Spiderman 2 since it was on TV at the time.

We haven't talked since then.

>> No.8093514

>>8093510
>she thinks about you everyday

>> No.8093519

>>8068952
I make coffee with my "special spice"

>> No.8093527
File: 48 KB, 465x464, 1443220362638.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8093527

>>8074543

>> No.8093528

>>8093514
Doubt it, Anon. She's a thicc 8/10, I'm just an average fuck.

>> No.8093588

>>8069618
Kraft or Velveeta?

>> No.8093631

>>8093262
>great guys cook

Fixed that for you. My momma taught me how to make the perfect grilled cheese sandwich, and that sandwich has gotten me laid on more than one occasion.

>> No.8093756

>>8068952
I date exclusively in winter
too not get too suicidal or worry about not being ripped and having a six pack,
So something hearty like chicken pot pie, soup or flammkuchen.
Maybe some cookies, and eggnog if it's the holiday season.
In summer i guess I'd go for like fish tacos or something like that, but probably i wouldn't cook anything and just offer her iced tea and like sandwiches

>> No.8093770
File: 20 KB, 500x313, 1439367994245.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8093770

>>8093756
>I only date in the winter
>by choice

>> No.8093810
File: 23 KB, 250x345, images.duckduckgo.com.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8093810

>>8069618
>single moms
>ever

you deserved it, bud

>> No.8093868

>>8088795
Are you Israeli?

>> No.8093922

>>8069618
My sides

>> No.8094092
File: 2.43 MB, 640x360, laughingbitch.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8094092

>>8069618
I refuse to believe this is real

>> No.8094180
File: 49 KB, 400x386, 1462443032532.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8094180

>>8069618
You have pleased Kek, anon.
You did good friend, you did good.

>> No.8094183

>>8069618
to the frontpage you go!

>> No.8094188
File: 178 KB, 720x720, 1444317640203.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8094188

>>8069789
I think this just gave me autism.

>> No.8094193
File: 172 KB, 800x1062, Andy_Milonakis.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8094193

>>8069618
One part of me is hoping this is reals, another is hoping it's real and you tried to be offensive, then another part of me is saying this was for reals and you done fucked up in a glorious way, but in reality you didn't cause it was a 44yr old with a kid your age almost. In other words, you done good in my eyes, you done good.

>> No.8094329

>>8078911
Recipe?

>> No.8094365

>>8069618
If my mom went on a date with a guy only 3 years older than me, I would destroy the fucking guy.

But that will never happen since my parents are happily married and my mom isn't a whore.

>> No.8094520

>>8093868
american believe it or not

>> No.8094528

>>8086584
Idk I can eat whatever I want at home, but as soon as I go anywhere for food or eat in front of new people I start feeling sick

>> No.8094531

>>8070022
>Most girls appreciate the effort anon
nice meme

>> No.8094538

>>8069618
really makes you think

>> No.8094549

>>8069789
This is worse than the other guys 44 year old gf story

>> No.8094833

>>8094520
Ahhh, in that case please be in Florida.

>> No.8095063

>>8068952
i just make what i was planning to if my bf comes by unexpectadly and if im expecting him ill usually make some sweets with dinner

>> No.8095148

>>8086999

Trips=truth

>> No.8095323
File: 177 KB, 369x338, 1439319675544.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8095323

>>8068965

>> No.8095351

>>8069789
this is so fake and cringe i honestly feel pity for you holy shit

>> No.8095699

Gf and i just broke up monday,on our last date where i cooked i (with some help from her) made
Chicken alfredo over fettucine
Garlic and parmesan roasted broccoli
Dark chocolate mousse
Fuck i miss her already

>> No.8095822

This who thread is a samble. Cooking when a girl comes over isn't a try hard move, it's food you fool, everyone got to eat. What happen to being polite to guest.

I usually make sushi in front of them when I was single. They love it.

>> No.8095876

>>8074543
>he lets other people cook for him as opposed to catering to his own tastes

Pretty gay desu senpai

>> No.8095898

>>8069375
>bacon becheml
>red wine
>panty dropper pasta
Ur a fagit

>> No.8095943

>>8073066
>not stuffed crust
Fkn pleb

>> No.8096016

>>8082863
>ALL THE EGGS

>> No.8096024
File: 871 KB, 772x579, IMG_0681.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8096024

>>8069618

And you still didn't learn? You chased Carol away. You could have been happy with her. Holly is better though.

>> No.8096192

>>8096024
i would bang jan so hard

>> No.8096432
File: 213 KB, 500x400, 1453485674159.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8096432

>>8069618
You should have photoshopped yourself into the picture with your date's son.

>> No.8097091
File: 1.88 MB, 2592x1936, IMG_2400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8097091

>>8096432
This of course.

>> No.8097157
File: 15 KB, 480x354, 1465067113958.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8097157

>>8069618

>> No.8097776
File: 19 KB, 604x453, 11198639_933550926666762_59390819_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8097776

>>8069618

>> No.8097864
File: 256 KB, 479x720, 5 kautta 5 tyylikäs herrasmies.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8097864

>>8095351
HOW DARE YOU
>unsheathe's katana
YOU'RE DEAD
>"slash"

>> No.8098422

>>8071692
That dinner outline is pretty great.
I'm a fan of a blackened tilapia, something like asparagus, mashed potatoes, with a moscato of some sort.

>> No.8098446

I've found that making a pasta of some sort with white sauce from scratch has always had a very good response. It's one of those that sounds like it's complex as fuck, but is super simple.

>> No.8098456

>>8098446
yeah nigga if U got a lady over at the crib n U ain't makin white sauce from scratch you a strait busta ya feel me

>> No.8098479

I order two boxes of mushu pork.
Bitches love mushu pork.

>> No.8098593

>>8068952
Depends on the girl and what she likes dislikes and hobbies. If she is a sporty outdoors or a woman who likes to go to non-chain restaurants kebabs with hummus and grilled veggs with pita bread. Or Carne asada with grilled corn with a mayo/parmesean dressing tortillas grilled veg, beans and either a mango salsa or guacamole. Generally a mixture of grilled meat veggies and a nice sauce on either a veg or meat to bring the meal to next level.

. If it's a black girl or poor chick a bacon mushroom chicken Alfredo with garlic bread and a salad or ribs mash potatos gravy and a salad. Generally a pasta dish. Both served with sweet wine.

If it's a girl who likes beer/ low maintenance or does not like fancy things or states nothing serious then local craft beer along with Carne asada nachos and a movie or chicken wings and fries. Generally something simple tasty that is fun anD compliments the brew.

All of the meals come with homeade icecream or sherbert.

In the morning I send em home with a omlette and hashbrown with OJ or coffee. Kept my current long term gf (black girl) simply because she never got food before and after sex and I worked her good too.

>> No.8098615

>>8098593
>black girl

Fuck you. You think we don't like a gyro or eggplant or hummus now and then? Racist.

>> No.8099099

>>8098615
>we

>> No.8099136
File: 815 KB, 575x1024, IMG952921.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8099136

Last girl I had over we made stir fry and homemade egg rolls, she loved it. We made normal egg rolls then a pizza log, a turkey bacon club egg roll and a apple turn over one

>> No.8099216

>>8068952
It varies. My wife is vegetarian. I make loads of soup. And bake bread and cakes.
Also slow cooked vegetable stew. Our kids eat loads.
Roasted vegetables are delicious too.

>> No.8099224

>>8069618
no.....

>> No.8099226

>>8088406
fuck u caught me

>> No.8099418
File: 177 KB, 748x756, kek13.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8099418

>>8069618
This shit kills me
Include me in the cap

>> No.8099689

>>8099418
>include me in the cap
>10 days old
nigga u dum

>> No.8099831
File: 640 KB, 2568x1968, Käsekrainer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8099831

This.

>> No.8099937

>>8099689
>implying any cap made before the thread dies is worth saving
Need to show all the replies, not just half of them.

>> No.8100568

>>8069618
This is brendanielreads worthy.

>> No.8100776

>>8068952
She can cook for me, she's a girl and needs to prove her value as a wife.

>> No.8101830

>>8094528
I had the same thing.

I found that going out to resturants more helped it get better.

>> No.8101987

>>8077481

>First fucking page
>Cast iron and eggs aren't the best of friends

You're sister a shit.

>> No.8102672

lol this one time i was all like
>hey <insert bitch's name here>, what you want to eat
>I want to eat you, Anon

And then we banged all night
i'm so lonely someone please save me from the wretched plane of existence

>> No.8102832

>>8069670
Are you Asian?

>> No.8102862

>>8074543
>mfw I'm black and I couldn't give a damn about cooking for a girl

I love cooking either way.

>> No.8102949

>>8068952
what if a boy comes over to a girls house. What would /ck/ want on their plate?

>> No.8102953

If I had a girlfriend I would go with her to restaurant.

>> No.8102985

>>8102949
meatloaf or something like that. simple, filling. I'm a sucker for classic American. Something she cooks frequently enough that she feels confident doing it.

>> No.8104114
File: 864 KB, 160x270, 1458830535385.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8104114

>>8069618

>> No.8104120
File: 58 KB, 389x311, sad cat feels.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8104120

>>8069618
>tfw you realise that the screenshot won't have the (You)s

>> No.8104131

>>8102953
Why don't you have a girlfriend?

>> No.8104132

>>8068952
Mostly Mediterranean style dishes, low on fat with loads of salad and some decent bread. Italian stewed rabbit, whole roasted quails au Provence, Andalusian fried prawns with garlic and chilli, etc. Serve with a lettuce-tomato-olive salad with some local cheese and nuts, and a freshly baked white bread with some good olive oil.

>> No.8104460

>>8069375
post sauce (recipe)

please

>> No.8104950

>>8069618
Fake and gay