/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.7964842]

It's that time again. Post food gore.

[Anonymous No.7964846]

The 20th Century was brutal to American cuisine.

[Anonymous No.7964862]

>>7964846

Well, it was better than what communism did to pretty much all of Eastern Europe, and now America has one of the best food cultures in the world, same with beer.

[Anonymous No.7964886]

I made this when I first started cooking.....don't judge me

Lobster Shrimp Cake over Cabbage Confit and Saffron Yellow Rice w/ Sour Pineapple Plum Sauce

[Anonymous No.7964986]

>take any food
>put in gelatin/jello
>wala ready-made food gore

[Anonymous No.7965028]

>>7964862
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Fuck even pelmenis are more apetizing than any of the shitty interpretations americans try to do, tex mex for example

[Anonymous No.7965029]

[Anonymous No.7965033]

>>7964886
Looks good to me.

[Anonymous No.7965044]

>>7965029

Nobody gives a shit, so you can stop spamming this as though anyone cares.

[Anonymous No.7965061]

>>7965029
It looks like fried scarab beetles

[Anonymous No.7965078]

>>7964842
Is that 'go'za gluten free?

[Anonymous No.7965279]

>>7964862
I genuinely can't tell if Americans are joking or just stupid when they post this. Just because a minute slice of your population can afford to eat at fancy restaurants and circlejerk over craft IPAs, that doesn't detract from the reality that 90%+ of Americans live off Bud Light and Kraft dinners, and will never eat a half-decent meal in their life.
Simply hilarious.

[Anonymous No.7965285]

>>7965279
They're both joking and stupid sometimes either one or the other, sometimes both at the same time.
Americans are the human form of quantum computing.

They will disagree for no reason just to stand out.
America is the reverse psychology centre of the earth.

[Anonymous No.7965301]

>>7965029
I'm curious as to what this would taste like

[Anonymous No.7965411]

>>7964886
don't use flash, ever
use three cheapo lamps instead

[Anonymous No.7965669]

>>7965279
>>7965285
What shitthole Europoor country are you guys from?

[Anonymous No.7965686]

>>7965279
It's just children, mostly. Their brains haven't reached the level of intellectual development where they can think about and discuss a social issue from multiple angles. They see "American food" and their frame of reference calls upon the only thing they know: a WW2 hollywood film with a lot of CGI explosions and some banter between the heroic title character played by MattDamon/TomHanks/ShiaLeBoeuf, and the effete morally ambiguous supporting character played by BenedictCumberbatch wearing a comical french moustache.

It's physically impossible for Americans to discuss discuss American food on this board without qualifying anything that is less than breathless praise with "I'm a patriotic American and support war at all times, but _________"

It's kind of like how you can't mention liking vegetables without first prefacing it by saying "I love BACON RRAWWRR REAL SELF SUFFICIENT BEARDED FRONTIER MAN, but also _________________________"

If global rule #2 was actually possible to enforce in practice, things might be different but it is what it is.

[Anonymous No.7965709]

>>7965028
Don't you even think of insulting pelmeni around here.

[Anonymous No.7965737]

>>7965686
if this isn't copypasta you should be ashamed of your autism

[Anonymous No.7965745]

>>7965737
Oh hi, everything more than 3 words is pasta guy
Get promoted to assistant manager yet?

[Anonymous No.7965755]

>>7964862
idk, man. Yes, we're world class on the high end, but rich people always eat well. And fewer people starved here over the last 70 years or so than in other places, so yeah, that's a plus. My point was specifically that the 20th Century really fucked up our cuisine. And that shit is still alive and well. All you have to do is walk through a supermarket to see how low the quality of ingredients is. The meat, dairy and produce is the kind of stuff your great grandmother would have been disappointed with. And most of the shelf space is taken up by truly awful prepared foods that have become so ubiquitous people don't think twice about buying them. And look at our restaurants. What's on the menu? Poor quality chicken, often breaded and fried, bad bread, fries, the meanest burgers and pizza possible, poor quality cheese everywhere and very little in the way of identifiable vegetable matter until you get to the high end.

Food gore is alive and well today. It takes the form of the chicken nugget, the Whopperito, the pizza with ranch dressing and the entire Taco Bell menu. It's the frozen heat and eat dinners at Walmart. It's the double IPA. It's General Tso's chicken, and any sandwich from Subway.

The 20th Century calculation had a noble aspect to it: food stayed cheap, so few Americans went hungry. The downside of that was that food gore level dishes became everyday eating for most of us.

[Anonymous No.7965770]

>>7965755
>The 20th Century calculation had a noble aspect to it: food stayed cheap, so few Americans went hungry
Yes and no

Not having enough calories is now not such a problem

However, by replacing food with synthetic food-grade USDA perfectly legal food simulants created through monoculture and top-down agricultural policy, we've spent the last 100 years building irresponsible corporate monsters, and playing whack-a-mole with various nutritional epidemics. Every time some new post-industrial horror crops up we either mandate the addition of some random micronutrient to our calorie powders, or we try to discourage people from eating the exact same foods that we caused to be overproduced. Birth defects from eating weird heavily processed starchy extracts? No problem just add folate powder to the vats of vile poor people food! Problem solved! Massive obesity due to nothing but HFCS and burger king? Threaten to sue Burger King until they put iceberg lettuce sippy cups on the menu! Problem solved!

Now the same futurist retards are trying to pull off the same scam in the third world by pushing vitamin fortified GMO rice monoculture, it's like we haven't learned our lesson (or maybe just don't give a shit, more likely)

[Anonymous No.7965855]

>>7965770
>maybe just don't give a shit
Shits are most definitely given, just not about food quality. Part of it is the Roman ideal of bread and circuses - the citizenry will be docile as long as food is cheap. Think of all the turmoil that went down in this country in the 1960's. If food hadn't been cheap there might actually have been a revolution. Or at least far more widespread race riots. But there's a limit to just how angry well fed people can get as a group.

This dovetails nicely with macroeconomics of it. When farming is a patchwork af family businesses it's difficult to standardize. Put food production under the umbrella of a few giant corporations who help shape and execute a centralized policy and you can assure cheap food for all. If the criticism arises that this seems anti-capitalist you just have to point to the profits these companies rake in as proof it isn't.

This works great for the government, which wants to assure cheap food, and great for the corporations who profit from producing it. Not so great for the consumer looking for quality food, and awful for the standards of the cuisine in general.

But the folks at the top don't care, because they can afford to eat better. And as long as everybody else is content with chicken nuggets and cheap cheese the system marches on.

[Anonymous No.7965860]

>>7965855
>And as long as everybody else is content with chicken nuggets and cheap cheese the system marches on.
We're not just content with it, we're so emotionally invested in it that anyone who doesn't think it's the best thing ever obviously hates America and has literally never even set foot here.

[Anonymous No.7965864]

i love the trickle of blood

[Anonymous No.7965881]

Why does /ck/ hate America so much?

[Anonymous No.7965895]

>>7965881
We don't, you just have this perverse idea that "america" is your HFCS in a 36 oz styrofoam cup with a side of chicken*-flavored nuggies and "honey BBQ flavored real edible dippin' sauce"
Anyone who doesn't look, think, talk, eat, drink, live, or feel EXACTLY like you must be trolling or insane
In short, you are a flyover
>*now with real chicken shit extract

[Anonymous No.7965909]

>>7965895
You don't even know where I live or what I eat.

[Anonymous No.7965910]

>>7965864
Its not blood fool, its hemoglobin.

[Anonymous No.7965916]

>>7965910
It's myoglobin you fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.7965917]

>>7965864
>blood
Idiot. Meat is drained of blood before being sold as a general rule. the red liquid is pretty much the water that was previously resting in the meat, it's not "Blood".

[Anonymous No.7965928]

>>7965860
I wanted to say that was a matter of region and social class, but for most of America it isn't. The only folks with access to a consistent diet of quality food are the handful of people who grow and hunt/fish their own food and well-off folks in major cities. Everybody else is eating the same garbage from the supermarket or a chain restaurant. But as long as it's cheap and salty-fatty-sweet they don't care, because they have no reference point for better.

As you pointed out, even the idea of having a reference point for better would seem subversive to them.

>>7965881
I love America. I just hate what 20th Century agricultural policy has done to most of our food. We live in a country with some of the best food in the world, yet most folks are eating turkey fucking sandwiches from Subway, burgers made from commodity grade beef or something made from factory farmed chicken breast. Or chain pizza. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with fun, trashy food. I'm saying there's something wrong when it becomes the standard. I like to fantasize we're better than that.

[Anonymous No.7965934]

>>7965928
>I love America.
See >>7965686

It's pretty fucking depressing how if you want to talk about food standards in this country your patriotism is automatically questioned.

The shills have earned their pay today.

[Anonymous No.7965982]

>>7965934
>if you want to talk about food standards in this country your patriotism is automatically questioned.
That is more of a regional thing. If you live in a part of the country where BigAgra is big business criticism of it is seen as subversive. Because people don't want to bite the hand that feeds them. The same way you won't hear people talking trash about Wall St at Hamptons parties, or shitting on the entertainment industry at LA gala events. And you'd be hard pressed to find many Texans with anything negative to say about American beef.

Yes, the standards for food in this country are awfully low. But that means most people here are not just eating, but enjoying poor quality food. And for many it's what keeps their state in business. Talking trash about it will make them defensive, and rightly so.

[Anonymous No.7965993]

>>7965982
>And you'd be hard pressed to find many Texans with anything negative to say about American beef.

Texan here. While we do have access to good beef here in the states, most of it--like all other industrially produced food--could be greatly improved upon.

The problem is that the average customer doesn't know any better, and doesn't care. They want cheap. Relatively few customers are willing to pay more for higher quality.

[Anonymous No.7966028]

>>7965993
>few customers are willing to pay more for higher quality.
That's because the poor quality stuff is so fucking cheap that someone used to it will be dumbfounded by what better stuff actually costs. We've gotten making poor quality cheap stuff down to such a science ($5 pizzas, for example) that no one has realistic expectations about what anything better actually costs.

[Anonymous No.7966043]

>>7965993
Because grass-fed GROUND beef is $6.99. I think the average Whole Foods shopper expects higher prices to correlated to better quality. However, like you said, the average consumer with their stagnant wages are not going to spend that much if they're on a budget but neither will they forgo meat in lieu of healthier fruits and vegetables. You actually don't need to eat meat for every meal. It's just people are so used to it due to the low costs.

[Anonymous No.7966049]

>>7966028

Yeah, I agree with that, though I think it's only part of the problem.

One of the issues with the price of the cheap stuff being so low is that people have gotten used to insane portion sizes. It would be crazy expensive to duplicate those same portions with higher quality meat. Cheap meat has become the staple of many people's diets, which causes health issues too. It would be relatively simple to eat less but higher quality meat on the same budget. But that's not what our culture leans towards.

[Anonymous No.7966074]

>>7966049
> Cheap meat has become the staple of many people's diets, which causes health issues too
I used to go out for lunch with coworkers sometimes, before it became clear that this was impossible. It was always "anon I can't go there, it's so EXPENSIVE and I'm going to be hungry later". Meaning: it's the same cost as the place they're going, but instead of 2 pounds of fried mystery meat topped with onion rings, a side of freedom fries, and a half gallon of corn syrup mixed with ice, I'm getting a generous amount of fresh vegetables and a moderate amount of meat, and probably nothing to drink with the meal, but an espresso afterwards.

Then later they bitch and moan that it's so hard to lose weight and anon how do you stay so THIN it must be because you "work out"

No, fatty, I stay a normal weight (not thin by any means) by focusing on flavor and quality rather than panicking if my meal is less than 300 calories per dollar.

[Anonymous No.7966177]

>>7965028
>>7965279
>>7965285
>>7965686
Quite possibly the most autistic posts I've seen. You drooling redditor meme meal faggots love to make lengthy, nonsensical rants about a country that is made up of states bigger than your country, each with their own cultures and foods and jerk each other off because you saw someone eat a bad meal, once. Fine dining is not the only form of quality food. Did you never eat a home cooked meal as a child? Fuck, you're retarded. Kill me.

[Anonymous No.7966246]

>>7966177
>Kill me
How would I even manage that when the closest I get to you is about 35,000 feet? By dropping toilet icicles on your head?

[Anonymous No.7966366]

>>7965737
That's a lovely Head Cheese.

[Anonymous No.7966394]

>>7966043
I think it's more than that. Eating meat at every meal is something traditionally only done by the rich. Suddenly it was a luxury even the working class and poor could afford. People balk at the idea of luxuries being taken away from them. You saw it with cars. Americans were used to driving big cars, When cars became smaller and more efficient many switched over to driving trucks, even if they had no real reason to be driving trucks.
>>7966049
>>7966074
That's my brother. Totally obese, and eats one and a half to two servings of meat at every meal. I railed on him for buying supermarket chicken breasts the other day. "Why are you buying those?" He answered: "Because they're cheap. Yeah, I said, but they're awful. No meat would be better than eating that. He kind of agreed, and has made peace with the idea that EVERY meal might not need to contain meat. He's trying to eat two meatless meals a week, maybe a breakfast or lunch here and there. I wish him luck, dude has to lose over 100lbs iof he wants to get to a normal body weight.

[Anonymous No.7966429]

>>7966394
How the fuck do you eat 21 meals a week containing meat? Is it really that cheap in the USA?

[Anonymous No.7966435]

>>7966429
People here start talking about armed insurrection when chicken breast goes over $1.99 a pound

[Anonymous No.7966441]

>>7966429
Dude has eggs and bacon (or sausage) with toast for breakfast every day, lunch is usually a meat sandwich and dinner is a meal centered around a large portion of meat for dinner.

Cheap meat and cheese is the cornerstone of current American food gore. Soon you'll be able to buy a burrito made out of a Whopper at BK for $3. So yes, it is that cheap. And it's the quality you'd expect for that price.

[Anonymous No.7966454]

>>7966429
Dude, if you buy at the discounter meat is literally cheaper than vegetables in europe as well.
Only thing even cheaper are basic things like fries, noodles, rice and such stuff.
Even fucking buns are more expensive with 70ct a piece.

[Anonymous No.7966465]

>>7966441
>Soon you'll be able to buy a burrito made out of a Whopper at BK for $3.

[Anonymous No.7966473]

>>7965745
i'm not american and i don't debate that their food is bad, you're just an enormous blowhard narcissist

[Anonymous No.7966474]

>>7966465
If you think that's bad you should take a look at the menu at Taco Bell or Domino's pizza.

[Anonymous No.7966488]

>>7966473
American food is not bad. Some of it is amazing. It's just that the current standards are pretty much food gore level. If you have the time, money and inclination to do better you can. But if you're not paying attention here you can easily end up eating frozen microwaveable General Tso's chicken from Walmart or pizza from Costco.

[Anonymous No.7966506]

>>7965686

>be irrelevant yuropoor

>get social science degree from sharia university

>use it to spout autism on a mongolian anime food forum

[Anonymous No.7966531]

>>7966441
Well fuck me.
I'm an unrepentant meat eater but I'm glad I like veg.

[Anonymous No.7966534]

>>7966506
Joke's on you, I've never set foot in the UK other than flying over it much as I fly over you
>>7966474
I haven't been to a Taco Bell for 14 years, I've had Domino's a few times since then but it was just your average shit-tier chain pizza

[Anonymous No.7966601]

>>7966531
My bro eats vegetables, too. But to him they're side dishes eaten with a pile of meat for supper, and they don't have much else of a place.
>>7966534
You should look at the menus these places have. You'll see the same things you remember, plus some really batshit crazy stuff of more recent vintage. TB has breakfast items, Dorito flavored shit and some really obscene shit like the Crunchwrap. Domino's now offers Buffalo Chicken, Ranch Chicken and Cheesesteak pizzas, along with chicken carbonara and chicken Alfredo pastas.

[Anonymous No.7966609]

>>7964846
>implying current american fads are better

[Anonymous No.7966666]

>>7966609
The 20th Century was the set up for the worst of today's fads. Chicken fries wouldn't have been possible without nuggets paving the way.

[Anonymous No.7966669]

>>7966666
>66666
Holy fuck!

[Anonymous No.7966672]

English breakfasr

[Anonymous No.7966686]

>it's another "americucks get triggered" episode

[Anonymous No.7966703]

>>7966666
WA LA! Nice Fazolis!

[Anonymous No.7966744]

>>7965029
the black fingers holding the package trigger me

[Anonymous No.7966831]

>>7965686
>>7965755

I'm an American that moved from a high HDI coastal city to the Midwest, and I can confirm that everything in these two posts are true.

>tfw Subway for lunch today because literally nothing else available.

[Anonymous No.7966852]

>>7965770
>we haven't learned our lesson

They are fully aware and just don't care, I've factually observed it.

Think 1910s monopolistic robber barons, but this time aided by armies of AAA lawyers and paid off, immoral scientists.

[Anonymous No.7966898]

>>7965279

>a minute slice of your population can afford to eat at fancy restaurants and circlejerk over craft IPAs

That's just simply not true, but to the extent that it is, who cares? Poor people can't afford nice things in any country.

[Anonymous No.7966916]

>>7965686

>states a fact
>"you're just a child who isn't fully developed mentally yet"

Maybe when you leave your village some day you'll see what the world is really like, and stop basing your stereotypes on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.7966920]

>>7965755

>the chicken nugget, the Whopperito, the pizza with ranch dressing and the entire Taco Bell menu. It's the frozen heat and eat dinners at Walmart. It's the double IPA. It's General Tso's chicken, and any sandwich from Subway.

One of these things is not like the others...

[Anonymous No.7966929]

>>7965881

It's mostly Australian shitposting.

Then again, you can't say anything positive about American food without being called patriotic now... There's plenty of things not to like about America, but it's undeniable that there's both good and bad food, good and bad beer - and you don't have to be a millionaire to enjoy quality food.

[Anonymous No.7966938]

>>7965028
pelmenis are good though

[Anonymous No.7966956]

>>7966666

[Anonymous No.7966964]

>>7964886
Take away the cabbage and tidy up the 'chefs jizz' dressing presentation and this'd be good to go

[Anonymous No.7966985]

>>7965770
Golden rice is a good thing idiot

[Anonymous No.7966993]

[Anonymous No.7967044]

>>7966920
Maybe to you. They all seem equally bad to me.

[Anonymous No.7967061]

>it's another "insecure Europoors shitposting about America" episode

[Anonymous No.7967067]

Someone got a cap of the Sweet Sundae Ramen thread?

[Anonymous No.7967106]

>>7964862
>Well, it was better than what communism did to pretty much all of Eastern Europe
lol good one

[Anonymous No.7967126]

>>7966993
Wtf. I'd rather eat a fried cloaca than that.

[Anonymous No.7967132]

>>7967061
cuck

[Anonymous No.7967167]

>>7967126
spot the scaley

[Anonymous No.7967192]

>>7965934
wat

[Anonymous No.7967201]

>>7966666
>dem quints

[Anonymous No.7967215]

>>7965279
POO IN LOO

[Anonymous No.7967452]

>>7965917
>its not blood its just red water

retard

[Anonymous No.7967457]

>>7966666
66666666666666666666666666666

[Anonymous No.7967474]

>>7964846
inb4
>american
>cuisine
pick one

[PS4:shelledocean24 No.7968779]

Can we please go back to food gore instead of your petty arguments? I haven't seen one of these threads all week so don't ruin this for me pls

[Anonymous No.7968781]

>>7968779
I'll add you on PS4 and we can discuss food as we own nubes.

[Anonymous No.7968798]

Somebody post the homemade pasta sauce video, I forget what it's called

[Anonymous No.7968805]

>>7968798
Marie's Homemade Italian Sauce from Italy

[Anonymous No.7968807]

>>7968805
Thanks

https://youtu.be/c7Md4YR75qU

[Anonymous No.7968857]

>>7966666
>66666

[Anonymous No.7968867]

C-can't we just post pictures of grody ass food you fucking shitheads?

[Anonymous No.7968878]

>>7968798
Wrong board, faggot.

[Anonymous No.7969005]

>>7965881
Yuropoors get asshurt about how they'll never even come close to being as good as America.

[Anonymous No.7969112]

>>7966898
>Poor people can't afford nice things in any country.
except for actual first world countries

[Anonymous No.7969114]

>>7969112
Poor people in the US would rather have big cars and $800 phones than eat real food

[Anonymous No.7969115]

>>7966898
this
>>7969112
I see the poorest people in my country with smartphones, big fucking tv's and designer clothes.

Only third world countries have actual poverty any more.

[Anonymous No.7969124]

>>7966703
I'd eat that. what is it? like a pizza pie or something?

[Anonymous No.7969127]

>>7964842
'Go 'za

[Anonymous No.7969141]

>>7966394
> I railed on him for buying supermarket chicken breasts the other day

Oh

You're one of "those" ignorant morons.

[Anonymous No.7969144]

>>7969141
good morning, tyson shill

[Anonymous No.7969211]

>>7966246

I've always wondered this

Do planes have a cess tank or do they just release the poo from the loo?

[Anonymous No.7969214]

>>7969211
there's a tank that gets drained, but not everything is always 100% airtight at all times

a slow drip at cruising altitude for 10 hours can cause seepage to accumulate on the fuselage as ice

as the plane descends to lower altitudes in preparation for landing, temperatures rise enough for the ice to break off

by this point, the plane is probably over land in a not entirely unpopulated area, so people get hit sometimes

[Anonymous No.7969257]

>>7969214
piss lightning

[Anonymous No.7969359]

>>7969141
My point was why eat meat that has no real flavor and a borderline unpleasant texture? You'd be better off not eating that for a few meals, then enjoying some meat that actually is a pleasure to eat.

[Anonymous No.7970272]

>>7966703
I will never understand every restaurant's obsession with serving lasagna with a side of bread
>double the carbs
>triple the excitement

[Anonymous No.7970369]

[Anonymous No.7970388]

>>7964842
More autism/OC from me:

Pan Seared Citrus Salmon w/ Peanut Cilantro Sauce.

[Anonymous No.7970390]

>>7970272
I think it's a historical thing. Upscale restaurants typically served table bread around the time Italian American places started popping up. So they did, too, even if they were trading mostly in pasta dishes.

[Anonymous No.7970419]

[Anonymous No.7970433]

>>7970390

I think it's as simple as this:

Many restaurants serve bread no matter what. When you sit down, you're given bread for the table automatically.

It only becomes carb-on-carb if you happen to order a carb heavy dish. They're not served "together".

[Anonymous No.7970438]

http://malechef.tumblr.com/

[Anonymous No.7970451]

>>7970388
I like how you tried to rescue its appearance with a bunch of lemons.
While it doesn't look appetizing I'd probably try it, since it doesn't make me wanna puke like this >>7970369

[Anonymous No.7970455]

[Anonymous No.7970462]

>>7970451
I promise it tasted very good

I'm well known for making food that taste good....but plating atrociously

pic related: Lemon Butter Swai topped with Homemade Spicy Tangy Peanut Sauce

[Anonymous No.7970465]

>>7970462
>>7970451

Another one: Creamed Mushroom and Basil Stuffed Chicken w/ a Riesling Reduction Sauce over 6 Cheese Macaronni

[Anonymous No.7970477]

>>7970433
True, but the carb on carb thing did become something of an Italian American signature, for whatever reason. Places that specialized in pasta and didn't even offer secondi still served table bread anyways. There are plenty of Americans for whom the accompanying side dish for spaghetti and meatballs is garlic bread. It became part of the expectation of Italian American restaurants.

Here's a scene from Big Night spoofing that:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLWy9Wp_RWY

[Anonymous No.7970478]

>>7970465
Honestly, I think it'd look quite good if you didn't try so hard. Scrap the sauce dots and fuse the >>7970462 rice into one and it'd look better imo.
Also the plate doesn't seem to fit, they look more like fries and schnitzel kind of plate, they need to be fuller.

[Anonymous No.7970485]

>>7970478
I really can't express my lack of understanding of Aesthetics.....here's another:

Pork Sausage/Mushroom/Spinach Crepe in Red Wine/Cream Chese with Butter Rice and Cajun Tomato Aioli

[Anonymous No.7970487]

>>7970465
>>7970462
>>7970455
It's not often you see somebody so good at being this bad. Like, the effort is there, but you've just become an expert at making garbage.

[Anonymous No.7970490]

>>7970487
I'm like a Self Aware Ja/ck/

Luckily, these posts are two years old and I've made enough progress where things are at least presentable....:

talian Stuffed Chicken Breast (spinach/cream cheese) in Blackberry Wine/Radish Butter Sauce

[Anonymous No.7970499]

>>7970455
I would totally take a bite of that just sayin

[Anonymous No.7970506]

>>7970487
Here is a more recent. Definitely still in the not great/mediocre range, but hopefully not as sad as my others

Pancetta Wrapped Salmon w/ Dill Dijonaise & Spicy Hollandaise and Balsamic Garlic Spinach

[Anonymous No.7970765]

>>7964842
That actually looks really good

[Anonymous No.7970772]

>>7970765

[Anonymous No.7970786]

>>7970772
dogs must think people are fucking crazy.

[Anonymous No.7970836]

>>7970786
how would a dog know that a witch hat and a wig was any crazier than a leash and collar, or picking up shit with a plastic bag for that matter?

dogs are not people, anon

[Anonymous No.7970844]

>>7970836
Those dogs clearly think something is wrong.

[Anonymous No.7970865]

>>7970844
dogs also think there is something wrong when the doorbell rings on the TV, when a stranger drops off some envelopes in a metal box, and when they smell something interesting as you're walking them outside and you aren't as interested in investigating as they are

dogs do not like it when you hug them, but they tolerate it and make facial expressions that humans regularly misinterpret as enjoyment because a human would probably enjoy being hugged, even though dogs do not

dogs are not people, there is no reason to assign human emotions to them, especially not when it comes to dressing them up in costumes and worrying about getting judged

[Anonymous No.7970913]

>>7970865
dog emotions are appreciably similar to human emotions, which is a big part of the reason why we keep them as pets.

[Anonymous No.7970926]

>>7970865

I love dogs, but hate "dog people" for exactly for these reasons.

[Anonymous No.7971407]

>>7970388
>>7970462
>>7970465
>>7970485
>>7970490
>>7970506

you should give up on cooking senpai

[Anonymous No.7971789]

>>7964842

[Anonymous No.7971792]

>>7964842
"Trump burger" at my local state fair.

[Anonymous No.7971795]

>>7971792
Is...is that chocolate

[Anonymous No.7971810]

>>7971795
It's a state fair so I'm guessing brown gravy

[Anonymous No.7971816]

>>7971795
>>7971810
It's Nutella

[Anonymous No.7971822]

>>7971792
So you can know the full horror
(Nutella, marshmallow fluff, pineapple/jalapeño jam)

[Anonymous No.7971831]

[Anonymous No.7971944]

>>7965301
Just make it and find out.

[Anonymous No.7972106]

>>7971789
shiet, is that a thanksgiving sundae?
i'd eat the hell out of that.

[Anonymous No.7972142]

>>7966831
there are plenty of local eateries in the midwest selling unique local foods

you're just too much a faggot to know where to look for them

[Anonymous No.7972311]

>>7965301
Like kool-aid flavoured chicken. What else?

[Anonymous No.7972758]

>>7972142
>unique local foods
The corn daze summer deep fried twinkie stand?

[Anonymous No.7972814]

>>7970272

>Gets a calzone for late lunch/early dinner
>Someone somewhere in the back screwed up
>Get free cheesy breadsticks
>Cheese bread to go with my cheese bread

[Anonymous No.7972834]

>>7972758
Honestly, anon, what has your rampant cynicism ever given you, besides protecting your virginity?

[Anonymous No.7972884]

>>7965709
Dat shit looks good, might try it some time

[Anonymous No.7972893]

>>7966672
Nigger, that shit is good for you, its a better breakfast than the corn syrup mess you call americzn breakfast, this one has a bit of everything

[Anonymous No.7972900]

>>7969112
Lol wtf? In mexico poor leople have smartphones and eat at fast good shitholes every weekend

Unless you earn minimum salary or live in the south

[Anonymous No.7973634]

>>7964862
>has one of the best food cultures in the world, same with beer.
>same with beer

[Anonymous No.7973708]

>>7970865
t. Dog

[Anonymous No.7974235]

>>7970865
Some dogs do like hugs though. Some don't. It depends on their temperament and how receptive they are to physical affection.

[Anonymous No.7974251]

>>7967452
but he's right

[Anonymous No.7974266]

>>7965770
troll

[Anonymous No.7974276]

>>7970272
carbs are good m8. give me loads of energy for sports and the gym

[Anonymous No.7975192]

[Anonymous No.7975200]

[Anonymous No.7975204]

[Anonymous No.7975207]

[Anonymous No.7975213]

[Anonymous No.7975220]

>>7975200
>>7975204
>>7975207
boring filenames. 1/5 for the effort

[Anonymous No.7975397]

>>7971789
That actually looks fucking delicious.

I'm knocked up, though, so maybe I'm not the best judge.

[Anonymous No.7975406]

>>7975397
>hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr everyone I have a vagina XDDDDDDDD

[Anonymous No.7975419]

>>7975406
>hurrrrr i'm triggered by women existing in my safe spaaaace

[Anonymous No.7975441]

>>7975419
>I have a pussy everyone XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[Anonymous No.7975442]

>>7975200
>at white friends house in New England

[Anonymous No.7975450]

>>7975204
is that a slice of American cheese (that individually wrapped shit) in a pot of potatoes and water?

[Anonymous No.7975452]

>>7975442

You've never been to New England, have you?

[Anonymous No.7975453]

>>7975220
>canned burger
>boring file name
that is literally what it is a picture of

[Anonymous No.7975460]

>>7975452
yes. I spent an unfortunate amount of time there.
Not everything was terrible.

[Anonymous No.7975471]

>>7975460
pizza was shit everywhere I went.

[Anonymous No.7975474]

>>7964986
>wala
Please

[Anonymous No.7975475]

>>7975471
good hot sauce was very hard to find. I had to go to one of those "world Market" type places.

[Anonymous No.7975476]

>>7970419

nicolascagenervouslylaughing.gif

[Anonymous No.7975482]

>>7975475
Yes, I know what you are going to say and OBVIOUSLY I did not visit every single state in the New England area. So dont even start that shit.

[Anonymous No.7975488]

>>7975200
>An entire chicken breast for lunch
Good job it is unseasoned chicken with portion control like that.

[Anonymous No.7975637]

>>7965895
Funny that I'm an American and I think nothing like that. I've traveled the world and know other cultures very well, and am very aware of other ways of life, and I also am fed up with the state of affairs in the USA.

>"well you're fine but everyone else--"

Shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.7975664]

>>7970865
>dogs are not people, there is no reason to assign human emotions to them
dogs do have emotions, just less-so than humans

[Anonymous No.7975670]

>>7975441
you ok pal?

[Anonymous No.7975675]

>>7975204

Slav here.

Never seen shit like that even in the most grotesque, satirical depictions.

Poverty food here is cabbage, and still it's quite good.

[Anonymous No.7975710]

>>7975675
I must fuck then

[Anonymous No.7976089]

>>7975204

I think the cook of that is a Spurdo

[Anonymous No.7976139]

[Anonymous No.7976159]

>>7965279
europoor with nothing to eat but mystery sausage detected

[Anonymous No.7976171]

>>7965881
yuropoors get really butthurt when you point out to them how America BTFO's them in all types and styles of cuisine, every time.


>>7965895
autism speaks

[Anonymous No.7977189]

>>7965279
Thank you.

[Anonymous No.7977195]

>>7965279
This

[Anonymous No.7977233]

>>7964842
>Post food gore.
>>

[Anonymous No.7977234]

>>7976171
>how America BTFO's them in all types and styles of cuisine
But it didn't

Mario Batali doesn't count, he grew up in Europe.

[Anonymous No.7977265]

F.A.R.T.S.
Ferocious
Arboreal
Repetitive
Tactical
Strategies

[Anonymous No.7977868]

>>7965934
>Sysco food truck

I see these trucks at 90% of food establishments. If you see one, you know the food youre eating is frozen shit

[Anonymous No.7977938]

>>7977868

>if you see one, you know the food youre eating is frozen shit

You're retarded.

[Anonymous No.7977946]

>>7977234
>But it didn't
Yes it does

[Anonymous No.7977973]

>>7977234

>Mario Batali doesn't count, he grew up in Europe

Um, no he fucking didn't.

[Anonymous No.7977991]

>>7977938

Agreed. They sell plenty of shit foods which aren't frozen, in addition to the frozen shit.

[Anonymous No.7978011]

>>7977938
Enjoy your frozen meals, manchild

[Anonymous No.7978020]

>>7978011

>confirmed for never having taken a sysco order before

[Anonymous No.7978055]

>>7978020
>confirmed sysco shill

[Anonymous No.7978097]

>>7977868
If you don't agree that microwaved frozen garbage is the best thing ever, you hate America and are clearly trolling and insane

[Anonymous No.7978110]

>>7966703
I'm not sure what I'm looking at but it doesn't look that bad

[Anonymous No.7978158]

>Don’t get me wrong, using Sysco does not mean you’ll have a bad restaurant with cheap, poor quality food. In fact, there are some very good restaurants in the area that use them. Sysco has a full line of excellent products that any chef would be proud to use.
>their produce is superior to all local produce companies. They do such high volume that things are always fresh. Their packaging options for produce are also very good. They are also one of the only area vendors for Certified Angus beef, which accounts for only 8% of Angus beef raised in the US. I’ve purchased grade A lobes of Hudson Valley foie gras, truffles, excellent olive oils, and true San Marzano tomatoes from them.
>Yes, they have many great high-end products to choose from, but the bulk of their offerings are low-end crap. That is where chefs get into trouble.

Good article on Sysco.

https://chefsday.wordpress.com/2015/01/26/the-cost-of-good-food-and-the-sysco-problem/

[Anonymous No.7978169]

[Anonymous No.7978231]

>>7964886
>made this when I first started cooking
Oh, like some kind of casserole or upside-down cake or something simple? No worries, we were all beginners at some poi-
>Lobster Shrimp Cake over Cabbage Confit and Saffron Yellow Rice w/ Sour Pineapple Plum Sauce
God fucking damnit.

Why is it the exact same shit for anyone who is just starting to cook way too late in life (see: after you're 20). It's always
>Alright, I think I'm finally going to start trying to cook, seeing as I'll need to be able to make myself food to survive
>I'll definitely need to start with recipes until I can understand flavour combinations and heat-consistency properties off the top of my head, which I currently know nothing about
>Well, off to Pinterest to pick the wildest and most complex flavour/texture professional experimentation dish I can find!
>Surely my complete lack of knowdledge, skills, patience, dexterity, and experience will result in this dish coming out perfectly!
>What? Start simple? Uh, hello!? I want to make GOOD food, not shitty poor person food. My next attempt will be cherries jubilee. Why would I need a fire extinguisher? It's just cooking lol!

[Anonymous No.7978243]

>>7975204
someone link the original video

[Anonymous No.7978269]

>>7965028
>talking shit about tex mex
I should've forced your mom to abort you

[Anonymous No.7978690]

My mate made this for his lady today.
>"you are the moon of my life and I'm your sun and stars so I made this for when you get home, the rice is supposed to be a moon, the fish is the sun and the peas are all the stars"

>Fish sticks slathered in ketchup
>"Rice"
>A million peas

[Anonymous No.7978695]

>>7978690
Forgot this scary shit

[Anonymous No.7978946]

>>7978169

[Anonymous No.7979113]

>>7965895
Fucking...
EPIC OWNAGE!!

[Anonymous No.7979355]

>>7977991
They sell some good stuff as well. It's the Smart & Final trucks that you have to avoid.

[Anonymous No.7979841]

>>7965737
「Ratt」

[Anonymous No.7979869]

>>7978695
>tendies
>canned sweet peas
>Knorr teriyaki noodles

Sweet Christ, I would devour that.

[Anonymous No.7980108]

>>7970485
I'm a professional chef and these plantings are giving me the hardest giggle rn because I once worked with a guy exactly like this. He had a great pallet but God damn he was the worst at plating hahahaah

[Anonymous No.7980392]

>>7978169
>>7978946
Jesus Christ this is triggering my tryphobia

[Anonymous No.7980396]

>>7971831
the fucking black nubs at the end of every banana

[Anonymous No.7980473]

>>7971944
Where would I find cool aid though? I've never seen it before.

[Anonymous No.7980495]

>>7970506
your food looks too shiny to me

[Anonymous No.7980760]

>>7975476
In it jam, you must!

[Anonymous No.7980767]

>>7965916
LOL

[Anonymous No.7980771]

>>7965770
i agree somewhat, its the same with fluoridated water.

[Anonymous No.7981090]

how do Americans even stomach their "grilled cheese" sandwiches? britfag here, cheese toasties are better. pic related

[Anonymous No.7981155]

>>7975192
Too much freedom-cheese i guess.

[Anonymous No.7981182]

>>7978169
What absolute [spoiler]tripe[spoiler/]

[Anonymous No.7981209]

>>7965864
I actually gagged, thanks alot for that.

Though that might have been the irritated spot on my epiglottis from all the cocaine last night.

[Anonymous No.7981231]

>>7970506
>>7970490
>>7970485
I have only ever seen one guy that tried as hard and had even worse food presentation and photography.

http://reaper-g.livejournal.com/

Sadly, he is a great guy, just tremendously poor. He loves fine dining and cooking, but he makes recipes from the El Buli cookbook with dollar store food and half-assing alot of things, all on chinet plates. As far as I can tell, he takes care of his old ass mom and her cats, goes to wrestling events, and cooks, and literally every spare dime seems to go towards very budgeted meals out.

I kinda want to start a gofundme or something so he can take a for real cooking class.

[Anonymous No.7981240]

>>7975397
>has had sex before
GET OUT NORMO

[Anonymous No.7981250]

>>7980392
I got that bad too.

Just remind yourselves what they're for and the fact that it is NOT pitting due to bugs or rot. Stomach lining is like that to the acid producing cells have more surface area per volume.

Don't know about morels though, mushrooms are a fucking mystery.

[Anonymous No.7981323]

>>7975192
why is there plastic wrap on your pizza

[Anonymous No.7981395]

>>7978169

[Anonymous No.7981848]

>>7964862
forgetting that heineken is the best beer ever
>its dutch

[Anonymous No.7981852]

[Anonymous No.7981853]

>>7965029
this is horrible >:(

[Anonymous No.7981861]

[Anonymous No.7981867]

[Anonymous No.7981878]

>>7966703
not sure if its me but this looks good AF
>havnt eaten in 2 days
>drink alcohol to cope with the hunger.

[Anonymous No.7981900]

>>7978231
this post gave me AIDS

[Anonymous No.7981903]

>>7975213
thats depressing

[Anonymous No.7981913]

>>7977233
i havnt eaten in 2 days, but would not try this

[Anonymous No.7981929]

>>7975637
>I've traveled the world and know other cultures very well, and am very aware of other ways of life

[Anonymous No.7981948]

[Anonymous No.7981949]

[Anonymous No.7981984]

>>7981948
I think we can all agree that story isn't true

[Anonymous No.7982017]

>>7981867
Please tell me that isn't supposed to be an omelette. Also what's this guy's name again? I know he's one of the most retarded cooks on youtube but I don't know the name.

[Anonymous No.7982027]

>>7981090
I'm American but I fucking hate American "cheese". A nice sharp cheddar makes a far better grilled cheese than whatever the fuck that stuff is.

[Anonymous No.7982042]

>>7981848
Heineken is pisswater and your taste is objectively shit.
Hertog Jan masterrace. Also Guiness.

[Anonymous No.7982100]

>>7971831
The 50s in America.

Great time for the economy, cars, pinup, and leather jackets.

But it was a dark time for food.

[Anonymous No.7982109]

>>7982100
what's that jello-like stuff around the dish and in the foreground of the plated slice? I wonder if it is a gravy or broth gel?

yikes

[Anonymous No.7982113]

>>7982042
Heineken is shit, I'll give you that, and I like Guinness but to say it is one of the best beers is ridiculous. It is like the Corona of stouts.

[Anonymous No.7982165]

>>7977233
>two broke vegans

well of course they're broke. unless they've got trust fund money or a cushy job at the Huffington Post, that gender studies degree isn't worth the buffalo shit on a nickel

[Anonymous No.7982166]

>>7982109
it's aspic i believe. it's like jell-o as a flavorless raw cooking material.

[Anonymous No.7982172]

>>7982109
asspick

it's gelatin made with meat stock

it's awful

[Anonymous No.7982197]

>>7975441
>A woman mentioning food cravings on a food board? Food cravings caused by her pregnancy which is caused by her VAGINA? This is clearly her way of getting my valuable male attention over am anonymous anime image board. The slut! I shall shame her for this brazen display of immodesty!

[Anonymous No.7982238]

>>7982027
Most Americans aren't particularly fond of American cheese, but many will argue that it has its place, which is usually on top of burgers and in grilled cheese sandwiches. I'm American and I don't even like it in those situations, but I still think it's OK on a BEC or SEC sandwich. The stuff is ubiquitous enough here that you really can't escape it.

[Anonymous No.7982289]

>>7982113
What would you recommend instead of Guiness ?

[Anonymous No.7982325]

>>7965028
pelmeni are god tier comfort food.
You can pelmen anything savory, slather some sour cream and chives over it and call it a day.

Meanwhile american poorfag of my level eats his fried spam and slice of toast "bread".

[Anonymous No.7982333]

>>7965737
that looks delicious/10. Would drissle some vinegar over it and eat with soubread and slices of onion.

[Anonymous No.7982351]

>>7978169
also this looks like a fucking feast of gods. 10/10

[Anonymous No.7982425]

>>7981878
It doesn't matter anon, you don't have to pity and torment yourself anymore.

[Anonymous No.7982443]

>>7978946
the morel of the story is - if you trypophobia - don't go into the woods

[Anonymous No.7982447]

[Anonymous No.7982450]

[Anonymous No.7982493]

>>7964886
>my first time cooking
>lobster fucking shrimp cake with a confit and saffron
what the absolute fuck, my first time cooking was homemade chili.

[Anonymous No.7982501]

>>7982289
Murphy's.

[Anonymous No.7982504]

>>7971792
What state?

[Anonymous No.7982533]

>>7981250
the morels actually are pitted due to a fungus

[Anonymous No.7982582]

>>7982450
That must have been a really fucking bored butcher.

[Anonymous No.7982589]

>>7978231
hahaha nice one my man you sure showed him

[Anonymous No.7982635]

>>7981949
Lost my shit.

[Anonymous No.7982698]

>>7982165
>caring about animal rights makes you a spoiled feminist

[Anonymous No.7982867]

>>7970506
>>7970490
>>7970485
>>7970465
>>7970462
>>7970388


You seem to have a knack for creating things that seem weird and/or off-putting. Maybe find another hobby?

[Anonymous No.7982916]

>>7981231
post pictures of his food pls

[Anonymous No.7982919]

>>7982533
morels are a fungus. mushrooms are fungus.

[Anonymous No.7982946]

>>7970490
Oh my fucking god

[Anonymous No.7982952]

>>7982919
well done, you got the joke

[Anonymous No.7982983]

>>7966666
Holy quints, praise be

[Anonymous No.7983056]

>>7978169
Amygdala, Amygdala, have mercy on the poor bastard.

[Anonymous No.7983081]

>>7982450
sonic looks alright but tails looks like he has two dicks growing out of its ass

[Anonymous No.7983144]

>>7965029
They look like small turtles that just got out of an oil spill

[Anonymous No.7983218]

Leftovers pizza.
How do I atone for my sins?

[Anonymous No.7983237]

>>7978169
thats a cow stomach, rather common in Brazil.

[Anonymous No.7983353]

>>7982501
How is Murphy's not as much of a pleb choice as Guiness ? Step it up anon.

[Anonymous No.7983369]

>>7975192
w h a t

[Anonymous No.7983385]

>>7982100
Shipping was slower, food was seasonal, freezing was worse, and fewer people had time to cook. In addition, nobody wanted to seem foreign by making international foods. Iceberg lettuce and jello salads were the vegetables in winter, fish and peas came in cans, and meat and potatoes were king.
In short, fuck the midwest.

[Anonymous No.7983388]

>>7978169
Nice one anon

[Anonymous No.7983395]

>>7981861
lmfao

[Anonymous No.7983406]

>>7978231
because everyone has made a pot of slop and other "boil/heat oven and youre done" foods. when someone says that theyre trying to cook for the first time, it means trying to cook something difficult

[Anonymous No.7983411]

>>7981867

[Anonymous No.7983428]

>>7982165
im poor as fuck and technically ive been eating vegan for the past year. i buy bulk beans, lentils, pasta, rice from costco and frozen/canned/fresh vegies that dont spoil from a local place. meat is more expensive

[Anonymous No.7983473]

>>7983353
Just saying it's a slightly richer tasting alternative to Guinness. I prefer shit like a Spaten Optimator.

[Anonymous No.7983552]

>>7983411
>>7983474
I see you.

[Anonymous No.7983574]

>>7983552

[Anonymous No.7983819]

>>7981867

I'm more confused than disgusted.

[Anonymous No.7984658]

Postin some of my best dishes.

[Anonymous No.7984664]

Yum.

[Anonymous No.7984669]

Living high life.

[Anonymous No.7984676]

This was to be a whiskey chocolate pudding but the thickening didn't work.

[Anonymous No.7984680]

[Anonymous No.7984754]

>>7984658
>>7984664
>>7984669
>>7984676
>>7984680

Are you by any chance British?

[Anonymous No.7984758]

>>7984754
I think he's finnish

[Anonymous No.7984766]

>>7984754
Read the filenames. He's a degenerate Finn

[Anonymous No.7984908]

>>7981861

WHAT THE FUCK

[Anonymous No.7984916]

Want a slice

[Anonymous No.7984970]

>>7983081

[Anonymous No.7985220]

>>7984754
>ökysalaatti.jpg
>British

He's from Finngolia.

[Anonymous No.7985614]

>>7966666

[Anonymous No.7985673]

>>7973634
>German

[Anonymous No.7985674]

>>7969124
I believe it's Pizza baked spaghetti.

[Anonymous No.7985685]

>>7975397
>2016
>knocked up

[Anonymous No.7985692]

>>7982698
>animal rights
when will this meme stop

[Anonymous No.7985713]

>>7981861
Those nails, every damn time

[Anonymous No.7985723]

>>7983218
become white

[Anonymous No.7985809]

>>7985674
It's an open face calzone.

[Anonymous No.7986363]

>>7970369
Barf

[Anonymous No.7986399]

>>7975397
slut

[Anonymous No.7986430]

>>7984658
This is served in the most "sitting infront of the pc"-unfriendly manner
> what are other plates?

[Anonymous No.7986523]

>>7984658
>>7986430

On another note, who eats 12 potatoes in one sitting?

[Anonymous No.7986964]

>>7986523
A person whose job was to feed an electroplating machine in 10 hour shifts.

[Anonymous No.7987010]

>>7971792
>>7971822
I don't know why but I want to try this

[Anonymous No.7987045]

>>7976139
RARE

[Anonymous No.7987546]

>>7965279
That's so true, I like you and I want to cook something for you m8.

[Anonymous No.7987587]

>>7982504
Nebraska

[Anonymous No.7988263]

>>7987045
kek, nice crossover meme
imma use that