Webum Thread.

File: 2.72 MB, 626x360, surly king of the egg fort.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Apr 27 18:30:14 2016 No.7615848 [Reply] [Original]

Webum Thread.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 18:37:52 2016 No.7615875 File: 102 KB, 500x752, burger_disguised_as_a_black_guy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7615848 No

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 18:42:02 2016 No.7615886 >>7615848 >Basic ass egg sandwich made kinda efficiently No wonder he looked confused about why he was being filmed

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 18:43:09 2016 No.7615890 File: 2.41 MB, 202x360, FRIP DA RICE.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 18:51:12 2016 No.7615918 >>7615848 any of you fags wanna tell me why you haven't got a jet engine gas hob like the gentleman in this .webm?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:14:02 2016 No.7615963 >>7615848 /r/ing the one where the guy cracks an egg over a hot pan and a chick comes out

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:18:05 2016 No.7615979 >>7615848 I feel so awkward watching that with the guy giving the "why the fuck are you filming me?" look the entire time

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:19:28 2016 No.7615982 >>7615890 Gotta give em credit, those little chinkers really work for their buck

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:20:07 2016 No.7615983 File: 1.60 MB, 198x360, self tossing wok.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7615890

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:21:05 2016 No.7615984 File: 2.82 MB, 1024x576, 1447725274750.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:21:51 2016 No.7615987 >>7615983 Awesome

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:22:38 2016 No.7615990 File: 2.64 MB, 640x360, 1447726184685.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:22:48 2016 No.7615991 >>7615983 >>7615890 I can't decide which webm is more asian than the other

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:24:05 2016 No.7615993 File: 2.07 MB, 640x360, 1447799832386.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:25:34 2016 No.7615995 File: 2.23 MB, 640x360, 1453261124298.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:27:01 2016 No.7616000 File: 13 KB, 236x344, wifebeater.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] the wife beater is a nice touch company issue?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:28:12 2016 No.7616002 File: 2.11 MB, 480x360, 1453325018649.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:29:33 2016 No.7616005 File: 1.31 MB, 640x360, 1453342069886.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:30:45 2016 No.7616008 >>7615982 absolute moron

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:32:07 2016 No.7616011 File: 2.93 MB, 640x360, 1458532237278.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:34:09 2016 No.7616017 File: 712 KB, 640x640, EasygoingGiganticAdder.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:43:44 2016 No.7616037 >>7615918 My insurance company is accusing me of fraud after my last house burnt down.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:45:20 2016 No.7616047 >>7615993 How often do they change the robocondoms?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:46:20 2016 No.7616051 >>7616011 ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:46:53 2016 No.7616052 >>7615983 fuck this. sooner or later they'll replace all the jobs with machines.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:47:33 2016 No.7616055 File: 1000 KB, 640x640, PresentEvenGrayreefshark.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616047

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:49:27 2016 No.7616061 File: 2.02 MB, 640x360, meatprocessing2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7615993 I think this part is done via force feedback rather than laser scanning, which is in some ways more impressive.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:49:37 2016 No.7616062 File: 2.75 MB, 640x360, Ramsay Eggs.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:50:13 2016 No.7616064 Cool, a thread full of the same exact shit as the thread that's not even been pruned yet

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:51:04 2016 No.7616067 File: 1.64 MB, 640x640, YFPucJi.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:55:51 2016 No.7616077 File: 2.37 MB, 640x360, breaking cheese.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:57:06 2016 No.7616081 File: 1.06 MB, 360x360, chocolate ball.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616067

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:58:13 2016 No.7616085 File: 448 KB, 360x360, donut.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:58:29 2016 No.7616086 File: 2.76 MB, 800x450, trimming 30 day rib eye.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 19:59:30 2016 No.7616088 File: 1.30 MB, 720x404, egg separation.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:01:16 2016 No.7616099 File: 1.88 MB, 450x254, noodles.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:02:42 2016 No.7616101 File: 726 KB, 720x404, parkinsons.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:04:07 2016 No.7616104 File: 1006 KB, 640x352, Turkish Coffee.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:18:39 2016 No.7616132 File: 2.99 MB, 800x450, picanha.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:25:08 2016 No.7616145 >>7615848 how the fuck does he get out of there without breaking the eggs? does he just have to live in there until he sells them all?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:26:38 2016 No.7616149 >>7616104 How, and how do I get some?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:28:00 2016 No.7616151 >>7616104 What the fuck am I looking at?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:28:40 2016 No.7616158 >>7616055 >To toast your cheese, you'll need some starter bread. It'll be good for 4 or 5 goes before you need a new one.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:28:44 2016 No.7616159 >>7616061 >>7615993 Sleep tight, porker.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:30:00 2016 No.7616163 >>7616132 it's like a beautiful, heterosexual ballet

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:31:14 2016 No.7616170 >>7616151 >>7616149 Everyone is always so amazed by that webm. There's a fire under the pan heating up the sand, they grind coffee really fine in the cups and boil it fresh

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:32:30 2016 No.7616176 >>7616101 Damn, that must be amazing. I get pissed off when I can't get my fingers to play an instrument properly, I can't imagine how infuriating it must be to be unable to pick up a spoon.

Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:32:37 2016 No.7616177

>>7616047
From what I have heard, slaughter houses are on some of the most strictest cleaning regulations around. Apparently the place has to be completely cleaned every day to the point where there should not even be any kind of moisture in the place. So I would assume they would get a new one every day.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:36:05 2016 No.7616188 that was quite uneventful. a freakin egg sandwich? whats webmable about that?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:37:39 2016 No.7616190 >>7616188 muh street food

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:40:21 2016 No.7616197 >>7616170 Ah I thought the sand was some kind of coffee and was coming in through some sort of vent in the cup, but that makes sense. And makes it less cool, but still p cool, and I still would like to get some.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:41:02 2016 No.7616199 >>7615984 There is no way they cooked properly

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:49:15 2016 No.7616211 File: 51 KB, 632x529, 2_242705-original1-j2xsf[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616081 >mfw

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 20:55:01 2016 No.7616229 >>7615979 >why does this baka gaijan like egg sandwiches so much

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:18:00 2016 No.7616311 >>7616170 But he doesn't refill it. Is the water expanding or something?

Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:18:21 2016 No.7616313

>>7616199
>>7615984
it's all fake
mythbusters tested it, the velocity required to even get the shrimp to fly that far in a straight line causes them to break apart
but to take it a step further they fiddled and made a gun that could shoot it and determined flashing through the fire like that isn't even enough to warm them

so they shot the shrimp directly through a 20 foot long sword forge and still couldn't even get them to warm up

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:19:33 2016 No.7616316 >>7616145 Probably the funniest thing I've read or seen all day.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:25:18 2016 No.7616330 >>7616061 i duno why but this is fucking creepy like.... unholy or something. and im a meatasaurus

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:26:12 2016 No.7616331 >>7616188 The look of suspicion and/or annoyance in the cook's face as he's being recorded making an egg sandwich. >>7616311 It boils over like milk or cream of wheat.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:34:44 2016 No.7616353 File: 2.99 MB, 640x480, 1445135322650.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:39:28 2016 No.7616379 >>7615963 >chick comes out I also want to see this

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:39:41 2016 No.7616381 >>7616353 K(C)raft dinner.webm

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:45:48 2016 No.7616407 >>7615983 Why haven't they attached a dildo to the handle?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 21:48:39 2016 No.7616412 >>7615979 the camera steals his soul

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 22:01:55 2016 No.7616453 >>7616353 I love these

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 22:10:09 2016 No.7616481 >>7616017 Pus_filled_dessert.webm

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 22:17:49 2016 No.7616500 >>7616064 this. some new webms would be nice

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 10:43:18 2016 No.7617858 File: 2.74 MB, 800x450, look at this shitty ravioli.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 11:01:40 2016 No.7617893 File: 2.85 MB, 426x240, baking time lapse.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 11:05:36 2016 No.7617903 File: 1.65 MB, 480x360, dumpling fold.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 11:33:40 2016 No.7617959 File: 2.97 MB, 480x360, cheung fun.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 11:39:25 2016 No.7617967 File: 2.65 MB, 640x360, champignon tourné.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 11:45:01 2016 No.7617972 >>7616197 u wot

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 13:19:48 2016 No.7618193 >>7615890 lel, that's ridiculous

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 13:44:19 2016 No.7618249 >>7615983 >tfw chinese ghost cooks for you Wew

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 13:46:13 2016 No.7618254 >>7616353 i fucking love this video. Is this stop-motion? This video makes me want to try it to learn it

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 13:46:41 2016 No.7618255 >>7615990 Do me a favor and zoom in slower, will ya?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 13:47:59 2016 No.7618258 >>7617858 Why is it shitty? That lemon zest should be there though wtf

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 13:50:08 2016 No.7618263 >>7616055 >not holding the hotdog sideways so the cheese doesn't touch the bun REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 14:00:08 2016 No.7618291

>>7616062
OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT!

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 14:01:04 2016 No.7618294 >>7618291 Quality post.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 14:05:24 2016 No.7618306 >>7616011 >still bloody on the inside ugh.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 14:28:02 2016 No.7618357 >>7618258 why not

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 14:52:22 2016 No.7618412 >>7617967 to what end tho?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:17:00 2016 No.7618449 File: 866 KB, 1280x720, 1454147474518.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:19:53 2016 No.7618456 File: 2.65 MB, 640x360, 1453643660667.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7615995 this is better

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:30:10 2016 No.7618471 >>7618306 Actually that's myoglobin, a relative of hemoglobin. t. not a retard

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:35:38 2016 No.7618483 >>7618412 guessing to make it look like a dumpling

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:44:20 2016 No.7618503 >>7615848 Do people who live in the west have stomachs strong enough to eat that food without getting food poisoning?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:45:20 2016 No.7618506 >>7615963 >>7616379 It's fake

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:48:54 2016 No.7618512 >>7615990 The cool thing bout that is you can make the noodles as thick or thin as you want

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:49:40 2016 No.7618514 >>7618503 It's just bread and eggs

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:49:40 2016 No.7618515 >>7618483 >>7618412 it's just a classic french garnishing technique, i don't think it has anything to do with dumplings, more of a floral effect.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:51:51 2016 No.7618521 >>7616011 The part where he breaks the meat apart with a squeeze of his hands made me cum

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 15:54:42 2016 No.7618526 >>7616067 That will be $19.99 plus tip :]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:05:27 2016 No.7618548 >>7617858 5 raviolis? That's it?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:08:06 2016 No.7618554 >>7617959 wtf am I looking at

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:08:24 2016 No.7618555 >>7618548 why is the first criticism out of an american's mouth always about portion size go back for seconds nigga

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:10:22 2016 No.7618557 >>7618554 read the fucking filename

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:11:20 2016 No.7618559 I think I gained 5 kg of weight just watching these.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:18:27 2016 No.7618573 >>7618559 kg is a unit of mass, not weight.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:21:14 2016 No.7618581 >>7618573 In a constant gravitational field, the weight of an object is proportional to its mass, and it is unproblematic to use the same unit for both concepts.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:41:51 2016 No.7618628 >>7618573 Thanks for reminding us God forbid we forget about the people who live on the moon and mars

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 16:59:55 2016 No.7618667 >>7618306 ugh is right unf.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:05:47 2016 No.7618682 >>7616170 I'm just amazed it gets that hot for the coffee to cream so fast.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:06:43 2016 No.7618685 >>7616176 >I get pissed off when I can't get my fingers to play an instrument properly You have no idea how glad I am to know I'm not alone.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:07:16 2016 No.7618686 >>7616353 im so high right now wat

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:08:33 2016 No.7618689 >>7618685 everyone shares that bro, everyone who plays an instrument anyway i'm a classical guitarist and fucking hell cold weather + nerves has an absolutely dehumanising effect on my playing

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:22:51 2016 No.7618716 >>7618306 You will die never having eaten a steak correctly. Dwell on this.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:25:26 2016 No.7618724 >>7616077 >used to have to do this twice a week at work >tfw somebody forgot to talk it out of the fridge the night before I kept telling them, we don't need to keep it in a god damn fridge but nooooo, health and safety.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:25:38 2016 No.7618725 >>7618449 >>7618456 fuck off jackposter

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:36:54 2016 No.7618763 >>7616055 fucking piece of shit, the customer and the cook. I don't even have autism or ocd but this webm really grinds my nuts

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:40:26 2016 No.7618777 >>7616052 >muh jobs muh feels a bloo bloo bloo It's called progress you fucking Luddite. If people actually listened to mouth breathers like you we'd still living in caves.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:42:06 2016 No.7618782 >>7616002 Why is there something so satisfying about this?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:42:26 2016 No.7618784 File: 2.97 MB, 400x225, anti_griddle.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:43:11 2016 No.7618786 >>7618456 hahaha

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:43:40 2016 No.7618788 File: 2.59 MB, 640x360, fried_calzone.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:45:17 2016 No.7618793 File: 2.96 MB, 480x360, Interesting_technique.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:46:56 2016 No.7618803 File: 2.87 MB, 640x360, women_in_their_natural_habitat.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Obligatory.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:49:25 2016 No.7618813 File: 1.16 MB, 640x360, Cookie_Decoration.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:50:27 2016 No.7618817 >>7618803 I made that WebM and I still cringe.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:50:50 2016 No.7618820 >>7616085 i used to be a baker, and this is such the wrong way to do it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:52:33 2016 No.7618824 File: 2.90 MB, 500x280, Kinoshita_Yuka_OoGui_Eater_18_Big_Macs_Guinness_Challenge.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] うわあ

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:52:48 2016 No.7618826 >>7616062 God I can't stand this filming style. I blame it on Jamie Oliver's producer. ZOOM IN ZOOM OUT MOVE CUT MOVE CUT OHHH IT WILL KEEP ATTENTION

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:53:44 2016 No.7618831 >>7618793 gonna go try that, looks safe and easy

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:54:23 2016 No.7618833 File: 1.76 MB, 480x480, pancake.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:56:51 2016 No.7618840 File: 421 KB, 588x441, 1453880970885.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7615886 where can I find ass eggs?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:58:57 2016 No.7618847 >>7618833 now thats just ridiculous

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 17:59:15 2016 No.7618849 >>7618831 >come to /ck/ with stupid question >come to webm thread why not >knee jerk reaction can't open for fear of gore Looks like I've spent too much time in /b/.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:01:49 2016 No.7618858 >>7618716 If he eats the steak he will die within a week

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:02:47 2016 No.7618865 >>7618788 I reported that .webm

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:02:54 2016 No.7618866 >>7616353 10/10

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:04:13 2016 No.7618871 File: 91 KB, 766x567, scared.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7618849 >fear of gore That's how I feel watching >>7618803 every time.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:08:53 2016 No.7618881 >>7615886 kek

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:10:16 2016 No.7618887 >>7618833 >eating you are waifu

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:10:27 2016 No.7618888

>>7618871

I just don't like being taken by surprise. I was off /pol/ for a long time because of a story involving cat abuse and two pictures on the catalog. I just wasn't ready for it and am still rustled.

But you know with every other contest/reality show they're putting it on. She's not doing anything that could seriously hurt herself, and a true novice would. (scars related)

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:13:13 2016 No.7618902 File: 2.35 MB, 640x360, diarrhea_express.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:24:18 2016 No.7618930

>>7616330
I think it goes back to something Marshall McLuhan said in that "man is the sex organ of the machine world". It makes you feel insignificant and we can always build things to do something better than we ever could. Which is just waiting for the inevitable point for when we build something that can build/invent things better than we ever could.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:31:31 2016 No.7618944 >>7618902 This sent a chill down my spine

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:32:58 2016 No.7618949 File: 2.71 MB, 844x446, jack-learns-physics.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:36:14 2016 No.7618954 >>7618930 >It makes you feel insignificant I don't understand why this bothers some people.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:36:28 2016 No.7618955 >>7618512 then make me a bowl as thick as our mother and one as thin as your dick, pls

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:40:21 2016 No.7618964 >>7618949 >the oil isnt even heated Oh my god these are always hilarious. It is like watching a car full of children crash in slow motion.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:40:24 2016 No.7618965 File: 2.80 MB, 640x360, The Jack Mayo Cake(TM).webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:42:36 2016 No.7618971 >>7618824 god i bet she makes some amazing shits

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:45:55 2016 No.7618979 >>7618820 >>7616085 Seems like a huge waste of chocolate.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:47:17 2016 No.7618984 >>7618971 I find that Asian (not including South Asian) women in general shit better than North American or European women.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:48:28 2016 No.7618987 >every /ck/ webm thread is destined to turn into a jack thread just kill me now

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:49:39 2016 No.7618992

>>7618954
I dunno it's just an existential issue, I used to have lucid dreams where I was a kid and I was extremely small in a large alien landscape. Things like this cause you to question yourself in many ways, sort of the whole "How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real" shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:50:39 2016 No.7618994 >>7618949 Jack really is just a despicable human being.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:51:33 2016 No.7619001 >>7618965 WHY

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:54:03 2016 No.7619014 >>7618965 Jack cracking an egg open with another egg triggers me every time

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:55:29 2016 No.7619018

>>7618984
Its because they squat to shit, which is the natural and right way to shit. It loosens up a band of muscle or whatever in your colon when you squat whereas sitting in a western toiled will fuck it up down the line.

Thats why I try and squat over the toilet to have proper poops.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:56:49 2016 No.7619019 File: 195 KB, 576x432, moes.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7615848 How do I get webbums to work in Safari?

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:57:30 2016 No.7619021

>>7618965

So much of this recipe defies logic.

If you're going to add a cup and a half of mayo, WHY ADD TWO EGGS?

AND WHERE IS THE BUTTER?

WHY DID YOU USE THE BEATERS TO MIX THE DRY INTO THE WET? IT'LL GET TOUGH USE A SPATULA YOU LAZY FUCK.

He makes me so mad. No one else on Earth triggers me like this man. It has to be because he's teaching people to cook poorly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:57:41 2016 No.7619022 >>7618554 Chinese version of lasagna noodles.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 18:58:34 2016 No.7619025 >>7619019 Kill yourself. And then buy a PC/Android.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:00:28 2016 No.7619027 >>7619025 >using NSArosoft products say what you want about their products but they're one of those only companies that give a shit about your privacy anymore

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:03:23 2016 No.7619031 File: 971 KB, 2565x2582, 1456161620643.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619027 just dont upgrade to windows 10 and you are fine

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:06:54 2016 No.7619036 >>7619027 >that disgusting corporate loyalty You do realize that any intel agency can get your information with a subpoena? Also, Apple sells user data just as much as Microsoft. They just do it in an obtuse way.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:08:54 2016 No.7619043 >>7615890 >>7615983 They'll take us over one day, I'm sure of it

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:09:55 2016 No.7619047 >>7619019 Used to be you could just install Perian. Now, you might as well use whatever version of Chrome you prefer instead.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:11:02 2016 No.7619049 >>7616313 Did that need an episode of mythbusters to disprove?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:14:41 2016 No.7619061 >>7615993 Say what you will about the ethics of factory farming and meat eating and slaughter houses, but god damn is killing and mass-production the things we humans are best at

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:18:36 2016 No.7619073 >>7618949 the fuckin worst part is when it hits the oil jesus fookin christ

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:21:01 2016 No.7619084 >>7618813 great, now make a whole tray of those

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:21:02 2016 No.7619085 >>7618979 theyll catch it at the bottom and re use it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:25:31 2016 No.7619096 >>7618263 More like so the cheese doesn't fall off the side of the container and onto the dude's hand. Seriously he had one job, it would've been so much better with just a single rotation.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:28:47 2016 No.7619106 File: 2.45 MB, 710x400, pica salsa.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616381 >>7616453 >>7618254 >>7618686 >>7618866 Like that, do ya?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:29:26 2016 No.7619111 >>7618824 stupid bitch doesnt have shit on matt stonie

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:33:15 2016 No.7619126 >>7618902 I can actually see myself eating that to be honest

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:38:52 2016 No.7619135 >>7619111 fuck you cunt get your skull caved in

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:39:52 2016 No.7619139 >>7618824 She’s cute but man she has this terrible lisp.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 19:58:57 2016 No.7619177

>>7618979
>>7619085

you mean they'll scrape it off the tray, and put it back in the bucket after it's dried out irregularly?

it'll never work again like it's supposed to if you do that.

those donuts aren't going to be eaten hot. only bakery workers have that privilege, and they'd spread it with a spatula.

no, you pop them in the freezer for 15 minutes to firm them up, or they cool naturally over 2 hours or so. in any case once the fats are hard in it, you just fill a steam table bowl with the chocolate, using only what you need, and give each donut a quick twirl in the melted chocolate.

you can have a bowl of sprinkles around to hit them with once you finish the tray. or a pastry bag with pink icing/frosting to do hot pink zebra stripes on the chocolate dipped donut, or do chocolate fudge stripes on the white frosting frosted donuts.

if a bakery boss walked in on an employee fucking pouring chocolate (probably microwaved) out of a pitcher onto donuts, he'd beat him senseless. it's guaranteed massive waste of product.

now, glazes are different; glazes can be poured over a rack of donuts with a bulldozer bucket looking two sided thingy, over a glaze pan with a spigot at the bottom. it can be poured and filtered and repoured and refiltered pretty much forever. it only dries when extremely thin and exposed to air for a bit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:12:03 2016 No.7619200 >>7619177 >it'll never work again like it's supposed to if you do that. it absolutely can do if re-tempered i can't believe how much shit you just typed that only demonstrates you have a limited, specific understanding of the subject

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:19:36 2016 No.7619222

>>7619200

no, you will NOT be able to reheat it and get it back to normal. in all likelihood that icing is this.

http://slrsupplies.com/Product.html?Produs=Icings

and good fucking luck once it's been heated and cooled. you've just never worked with commercial fudge icings if you think you're going to reheat it and use it again.

because you are definitely not going to do that.

it'll blacken, crust, crack, and then dust. making for gritty shit i wouldn't serve for 89 cents to a scooter bound welfare queen.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:23:32 2016 No.7619231 >>7619222 nigga you can't just give a bakery the benefit of the doubt can you. you don't know what 'icing' it is and you don't know what their setup is.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:25:40 2016 No.7619236 >>7619177 Mate, that's a totally standard way of glazing things when the finish is more important than the time and effort to recover the runoff.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:34:57 2016 No.7619268 >>7616311 Turkish coffee is ground extremely fine like a powder. It boils and foams up and then stops when he takes it off the heat. Puts it back on and it start boiling again.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:36:48 2016 No.7619277

>>7619231

i can identify the quality and nature of icing by the appearance of it, especially when being poured like that. i know how it will behave. there are secrets that can be learned but not taught.

>>7619236

in other words, it's a totally standard way of glazing things for webms.

it'd make a shit donut for eating. not more than the top half of the donut over the skunk ring should be iced more than a dribble here and there. and btw they don't know what they're doing with those donuts, they're dry with a thin stripe. mediocre.

furthermore, that fry rack is obviously new and has not been used. there would be caked yellow shortening on the edges if it it had been in a fryer. those donuts were not fried on that frying screen.

the whole thing is a retarded photo op. but i, i see through the lies. so fucking triggered.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:38:09 2016 No.7619280 >>7619277 you're just heavily overcompensating for skepticism with a lot of irrelevant information.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:38:42 2016 No.7619281 >>7619268 Do they put milk or water in there as well? Or do the grounds actually foam up itself?

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:41:51 2016 No.7619286

>>7619280
no. i know things. for facts. from experience.

that screen was not in a fryer.

those donuts are dry.

those donuts did not have enough yeast and were under-proofed.

that's method of pouring the icing on will result in messy donuts, and wasted icing.

that is clearly commercial icing, heated, most likely microwaved and stirred.

and finally,

YOU DON'T FUCKING PUT SUGAR ON THE FRYER SCREEN YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO THE FILTERS ON THE FUCKING PUMP SOMEONE IS GOING TO TRY TO UNCLOG THAT FRYER VAT MANUALLY AND BE BURNED WHEN IT SUDDENLY UNCLOGS AND SPEWS HOT OIL. YOU DON'T PUT SUGAR INTO THE FRYER. THAT SCREEN NOW HAS TO BE WASHED. AND THEN DIPPED. IT'S BAD FOR THE SCREEN. THE WIRES START TO COME OFF. GOOD LUCK GETTING YOUR BOSS TO BUY YOU A NEW SET OF SCREENS GG

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:43:15 2016 No.7619290 >>7619286 you've probably done a week's work experience in a dunkin donuts managed by your uncle

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:43:58 2016 No.7619293 File: 364 KB, 1280x720, jack pie.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:48:50 2016 No.7619307

>>7619290
i worked at a bakery for 6 years.

for 3 of those i was in charge of the donuts, pastries, and prep for the artisan bake in the morning.

an average list would be 250 yeast, 100 cake, unless it was a sale, and then, like 500 cake. lets ignore that. 250 yeast per day. five days a week. six or seven often but lets forget that.

250 pounds mix plus about 120lbs water depending on humidity and ambient temp. so 370 pounds of yeast and 160 pounds of cake per day, five days a week, for three years.

it adds up to literally a lowball estimate that i have personally produced 90,720 pounds of donuts in my life. and iced them all. and that is way way lowballed.

you need to learn.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:51:16 2016 No.7619312 >>7616086 >intentionally consuming what is essentially rotten meat

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:51:39 2016 No.7619313 >>7619307 My dad works at Nintendo.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:55:10 2016 No.7619319 >>7619307 you've worked in one establishment and now you are commenting on another establishment, because you have a sophomoric need to project wisdom.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:56:11 2016 No.7619323 >>7619312 yes. problem?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:56:18 2016 No.7619324 >>7619313 im flattered. actually i was just lying, magical pixies fill the donut cases at price chopper. >>7619319 ok, lets go real slow. explain the absence of grease on the fucking fryer screen.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 20:59:14 2016 No.7619328

>>7619324

i'm not responding to what i have already described as irrelevant information intended to compensate for skepticism over the unfounded claim that the webm showed ineffective work. it doesn't matter if it was a fresh rack. it doesn't matter if there's sugar on the fryer screen. what matters is your claim regarding the reuse of that icing.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:02:15 2016 No.7619341 >>7619324 >fryer screen fryer screen fryer screen

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:02:35 2016 No.7619342

>>7619328

it's not a claim. it's not an opinion. it's not up for debate. it's a mother fucking fact. THAT, is *h e a t e d c o m m e r c i a l c h o c o l a t e f u d g e i c i n g*.

when it cools, ITS FUCKING DONE. it *w i l l n o t* be reusable by any sane standards.

i have scooped applied more of this shit to pastries than the entire combined weight of your blood line stretching back three generations.

i know what i'm talking about. you think that you're saying something that you can assume would probably be true. but it's not. it's a lie.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:04:05 2016 No.7619345 >>7619342 No one is disputing the fact that you have a great deal of experience peddling shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:04:05 2016 No.7619346 File: 1.73 MB, 324x356, dance.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't know what just happened in this thread but I'm enjoying the drama

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:04:52 2016 No.7619348 >>7618306 That red you are seeing is called the "smoke ring."

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:05:25 2016 No.7619350 >>7619342 >it's not up for debate. it's a mother fucking fact. no that's a claim. has it been proven? no. so it's a claim. >i know what i'm talking about. also a claim.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:08:22 2016 No.7619357 >>7619350 it has absolutely been proven. i'm 89% sure that at this point you're just stubborn. if you really thought about it you'd see that i'm right and you probably do but won't admit it. >>7619345 then stop being wrong and concur

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:13:05 2016 No.7619370

>>7619357

>it has absolutely been proven.

your standard of proof is woefully inadequate. you've repeatedly stated what you think is happening whilst throwing out other criticisms of what's in the frame, which have no bearing on the accuracy of what you're saying about the icing, in order to make yourself look more credible.

if YOU really thought about it you'd see that you're working off limited experience and information.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:13:13 2016 No.7619371 >>7619357 From my point of view as an outsider, you've gone on about the cheap substitutes you have experience with, and then asserted that their properties apply to any possible similar situation. Maybe you just worked with shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:18:41 2016 No.7619381 >>7616088 Break one yolk and the whole thing's fucked

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:19:34 2016 No.7619384 File: 99 KB, 600x800, smug.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616052 >mfw mechatronic engineer studying robotics to replace your jobs

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:20:45 2016 No.7619387

>>7619370

>>7619371

i know far more than you and you need to just shut up and listen.

you're not even on the level where you can be aware of the existence of the level i'm at.

you're not cognizant of the ability some people develop to determine the properties of a garnish simply by watching it move.

to you it's just some brown shit being poured out. but i see so much more. like a human fingerprint.

the way it ripples. the granular density. the viscosity. the surface tension as it rolls. the stick to the lid. the thickness of the dribble ropes. dozens of tiny details you don't even notice. i see them. like i said. some secrets can be discovered but not told.

i know exactly how that icing will behave. i can see the fucking future for that icing. i have a complete autodesk inventor material profile in my brain concerning that icing. it's generic icing. i know. because i've used a fuck ton of generic icing at work. i know what it looks like and how it behaves. i've also made icings for wedding cakes etc. i know the difference.

you?

you don't even know that it's possible to know.

wew lad.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:22:10 2016 No.7619391 File: 302 KB, 495x525, smug lewd horo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619384 >mfw programming an AI that designs robots

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:23:40 2016 No.7619399 >>7619391 Too bad you'll still need to build them. By the time you're done you'll be paying me a fortune in royalties.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:24:58 2016 No.7619404 File: 107 KB, 551x600, smuggest.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619399 >mfw 3D printer

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:26:00 2016 No.7619409 >>7619387 Way too far, you might have been able to pul it off with a couple of those lines.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:28:18 2016 No.7619414

>>7619409

>>i know, i'll say he's trolling when he tells it like it is and i have no where to run or hide from the blinding, unmistakeable reality of the truth of the fact of the matter that that is generic icing which can't be reheated after it's dried in glops on a rack tray.

and there we have it. are we finished here.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:30:44 2016 No.7619426 File: 490 KB, 449x401, laughingwhores.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619404 >implying 3D printed metal will have the same structural integrity. Good luck with those Terminators, enjoy your stress concentrations.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:34:00 2016 No.7619438 >>7619426 >>implying it won't have nano-composite structures making it far superior

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:34:44 2016 No.7619439 >>7619027 >iSheep actually believe this kek, stick to the edible apples here sonny

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:36:10 2016 No.7619445 >>7619414 Yeah, you win, I genuinely can't tell if you're for real or not.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:38:41 2016 No.7619453

>>7619445

please, im sorry i got excited. but i couldn't let that "just scrape it up and reheat it!" thing go. it physically hurt me. i walked 2 miles to work at midnight through syracuse fucking blizzards to make donuts until 11 am and walk back for three years.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:44:27 2016 No.7619471 >>7619453 Are there some things that - if not abused - can be reused? Straight melted chocolate, gelatine glaze, sugar syrup, that sort of thing.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:52:14 2016 No.7619494 >>7616002 Jojos bizarre cheese factory

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:54:46 2016 No.7619506 >>7619471 Yeah like that time I glazed you're moms face and she played with it then stuck it up her snatch and still got pregnant.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 21:54:58 2016 No.7619508

>>7619471

sure. glazes can be reused. you just have to keep crap out of them (pieces of donuts, burnt shit. you slide the donuts off the fryer screen onto the glazer screen, so shit gets in there.). after you're done with it you put a sieve kind of thing under the nozzle on the bottom of the table and empty it back into the bucket. you don't have to heat it much though. just get the bucket to about 90 degrees in the proofer and it's good. it's too thick at cool room temperatures and is hell to glaze with.

the chocolate fudge icing stuff that is on 90% of all donuts, not really, once it's heated and cools, you *can* reheat it, but the outer parts of the cooling formation will remain crusted and hard, and you won't get that smooth perfect look; and you don't want to heat it up too much or the lipids seperate out of it, making it turn blackish when it dries on the donut.

you really want to use a steam table bowl, take a good long while to let it warm up until it can be used, and then keep it there with frequent stirring to prevent the air exposure from forming a crust. if done correctly you can use the same bowl of icing for hours. but when it's done its done and whats left is not useable. you'll get a gritty nasty texture if you try reheating that.

the honey glaze never really dries.

melted chocolate generally melts completely, becomes highly liquid, and has to be used quickly, but because it melts completely can be reused - until it separates - but not so big of a deal because it's just for looks really.

i've definitely seen lots of people try to re-use chocolate fudge icing, and had to be a dick about it, or they'd ruin whole buckets. and then what do i do.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:04:29 2016 No.7619533 >>7619508 Is it possible that webm is just a plain chocolate glaze?

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:13:06 2016 No.7619556

>>7618992
Shouldn't bother you, man invented these incredibly high performance machines to do things we can't. You share an awful lot with these same people. Even with all the "robots taking over the world" stuff it's simply a non issue. People surpass any single purpose machine in unimaginable ways

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:14:16 2016 No.7619559 >>7619106 The smartest thing about this guy is that his stop motion is extremly professional. Watch how inconsistent it is, he knows exactly when to add or deduct some frames.

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:16:59 2016 No.7619564

>>7619533

a glaze is sugar, water, and milk, in its most basic form. agents are added to achieve a certain texture and taste in commercial applications.

there's a significant difference between an icing, a frosting, and a glaze.

icing is more like a low-integrity peanut butter.

frosting is starchy and airy.

glaze is sticky liquid.

although i don't doubt a chocolate "glaze" exists out there, one could certainly make it especially with the levels of fermented alcohol based flavors available to us,i have not personally seen or used such. i have made and used lemon glaze, though.

all three come in buckets. glaze, if you turn the bucket over, will pour out, and continue to pour until, interestingly, after enough time, the bucket is clean. icing will, after a long time, under it's own weight, if its a lot of icing, bulge and ooze out, but won't "spill". frosting won't even move. not dense enough. frosting isn't 'wet'. glaze is very wet. icing is marginally wet. more fatty.

you can pick up a big hand full of icing and just hold it there. you can't do that with glaze. glaze is a liquid. icing is a soft solid.

when icing is first scooped from the bucket (you don't have to heat it for every application, but the icing has to be softer than what you're applying it to.) it will shine. as time goes on, that shine dulls as the surface is exposed to air. that exposed layer will not be reconstituted. it just won't it. it'll granulate.

when glaze is exposed to air, very slowly, it will form a film. this film can be seen breaking and running along it when you pour the glaze, however, the film will, if submerged, naturally reconstitute and rehydrate. notice that if you put your finger on a glazed donut, it cracks almost. and under the crack, its a bit sticky. that's the film.

stick your finger onto an chocolate iced cake donut. you can leave a perfect fingerprint if it's fresh, and if it's not fresh, it may "chalk" off, almost a bit like an old hersheys bar.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:22:58 2016 No.7619578 >>7618291 SALT, PEPPER, OLLIVE OIIIL

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:31:47 2016 No.7619598 >>7618788 thats a fucking dumpling...

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:31:47 2016 No.7619599 File: 1015 KB, 1280x720, 1452372929776.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7618949 Here's another physics lesson for Ja/ck/ But he never learns (and not just because he is a manlet)

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:36:33 2016 No.7619613

>>7616017
I sometimes feel as though I'm the only one to consider "thin chocolate shell with hot chocolate being poured on it to melt it" a meme food.

but then again maybe I just ran into it more than other people. Either way I think it's a stupid gimmick.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:44:09 2016 No.7619631 >>7619564 Do you think there's any possibility you're coming at this from a position of particularly focussed experience?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:52:33 2016 No.7619648 >>7619599 What the fuck is he making in this video?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:55:49 2016 No.7619654 >>7618902 >americans

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:00:02 2016 No.7619662 >>7618306 Wow, your ignorance shines right on through

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:03:15 2016 No.7619670 File: 53 KB, 480x397, 1310524575648.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7618449 I will be a happy man the day this shit wad dies the slow, painful death he deserves.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:04:18 2016 No.7619676 >>7619387 Thanks for the pasta friend

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:04:27 2016 No.7619677 I never though I would witness the wrath of a donut autist, but then I stumbled across this thread

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:05:28 2016 No.7619680 >>7619648 general tsos chicken

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:06:57 2016 No.7619687 File: 137 KB, 782x579, 1312132777564.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7618548 >multi-course meal ur a fuckin' plebmeister

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:11:04 2016 No.7619700 >>7618724 >talk it out of the fridge Come on cheezy, kiss kiss Come on lil' guy, let's play a game!

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:13:14 2016 No.7619705 >>7616061 >>7615993 >We have trained machines to efficiently and autonomously dissect and process flesh and bone. What could possibly go wrong ?

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:16:09 2016 No.7619715 >>7619705 imagine if you accidentally got picked up and processed while still screaming by one of those things

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:20:36 2016 No.7619729 >>7619715 Sounds like a Twilight Zone episode actually.. well at least the end of one

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:22:43 2016 No.7619738 >>7619729 >>well at least the end of one but what if it wasn't what if it was the beginning

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:24:24 2016 No.7619739 File: 814 KB, 294x296, 1459222486889.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619738 D E V I L I S H

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:27:09 2016 No.7619744 >>7616101 Seeing stuff like this is being made for people makes me happy

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:28:47 2016 No.7619750 >>7615993 >tfw I help facilitate the cowlocaust at work. 6 million cattle per year in a low year.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:29:42 2016 No.7619754 File: 1.96 MB, 514x205, 1456669847164.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616055

Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:30:23 2016 No.7619759

>>7618930
>self replicating molecules
>prokaryote cells
>eukaryote cells
>multi-cellular communes
>tissues
>organs
>behavioral variation
>memory
>social groups
>language
>culture
>agriculture
>urban societies
>machine technology
>"artificial" intelligence
>...

that's evolution

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:31:59 2016 No.7619764 >>7619739 10/10 post

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:32:37 2016 No.7619766 >>7616061 >This removes the anus

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:35:36 2016 No.7619776 >>7618971 It's the purges you have to take into account.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:37:12 2016 No.7619780 >>7619018 >south asian women don't squat nigga, you trippin'

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:50:15 2016 No.7619806 >>7619598 Its a calzone, dumbass

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:50:47 2016 No.7619807 >>7618831 chef rule #1: NEVER CUT TOWARDS YOURSELF! ...but feel free to post results of your attempts

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:56:12 2016 No.7619823 >>7618777 At least you won't have to worry about not having a job. I'm sure the government check/mommy will still keep coming through. Fucking degenerate. Probably never worked a day in your life.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:56:43 2016 No.7619825 >>7616002 >Do you expect me to talk? >No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 23:58:27 2016 No.7619831 heard you like tacos in your tacos dag so we put >>7618902

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:15:47 2016 No.7620009 >>7618456 top lel

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:34:42 2016 No.7620053 >>7616011 >american "cuisine" Do you guys realise that you're not meant to burn the meat?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:36:19 2016 No.7620055 >>7619613 I agree. I think that it's a complete gimmick that only impresses plebs.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:41:02 2016 No.7620062 File: 1.25 MB, 1280x720, why.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619293 Absolutely disgusting.

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:53:59 2016 No.7620080
File: 31 KB, 1171x632, dont do this.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7619807
not trying to be contrarian but a chef or cook with decent knife skills can do shit like that no problem. I never cut exactly *towards* myself like in the webm but i do cut under my left hand somewhat frequently, especially when dicing tomatoes and slicing chicken breasts in half.

i'd think rule number one is not to put the knife between your fingers when cutting food, like pic related

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:56:05 2016 No.7620085 >>7616055 What kind of cheese is this?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 02:03:48 2016 No.7620102 >>7619599 smother that chicken in some non-newtonian fluid.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 02:05:25 2016 No.7620106 >>7620053 It isn't burnt.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 02:59:12 2016 No.7620205 File: 273 KB, 600x583, 1410715766906.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7616055

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 03:09:40 2016 No.7620212 >>7620085 Raclette It's specifically used for that sort of weird shit, although normally not hot dogs.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 03:27:21 2016 No.7620226 >>7615848 BUT WHY DOES HE PUT THE BIG PILE OF WHOLE EGGS ON THE HEAT AT THE END?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 03:35:45 2016 No.7620235 >>7616055 Fuck America

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:13:24 2016 No.7620287 >>7616313 Dude. Just pass your hand through an open flame really fast and it won't do shit to it. Of course it didn't cook right.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:13:57 2016 No.7620290 >>7616330 What bothers me is if AI/aliens ever start doing this to us, not even a vegetarian but whenever I see meat processing it makes me question.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:20:32 2016 No.7620305 >>7616055 that's the worst use of raclette I ever saw

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:21:44 2016 No.7620307 Imagine a car crashing into that and yolk just exploding everywhere. Also I'm going to be making my egg sandwiches that way from now on.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:46:18 2016 No.7620341 >>7619807 i don't think that's chef rule number one at all

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:52:41 2016 No.7620349 >>7615993 >>7616061 could be good inspiration for a horror movie

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 04:59:30 2016 No.7620366 >>7616132 knife seems pretty blunt

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 05:02:18 2016 No.7620378 >>7617967 when you want dat der 3rd star

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 05:03:55 2016 No.7620380 >>7618784 thought it was a mushroom at first

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 05:05:49 2016 No.7620391 >>7618902 would smash

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 05:21:45 2016 No.7620421

>>7619061
Not that hard to be the best at mass producing, when we are the only sapient creatures having an industrial society that we know of.

That is like saying "Boy, are humans the best at recording rock music."

Also, you would think bees are pretty good at mass productio too.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 05:38:55 2016 No.7620451 >>7615983 spooky

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 06:16:13 2016 No.7620525 >>7618291 PAN. NICE AND HOT. YOU WANT A NICE SEAR.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 06:28:12 2016 No.7620538 >>7616017 I've seen vids of draining cysts on horses that looked like that.

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 06:54:33 2016 No.7620560

>>7619312
The amount of cooking scrubs on this board always amazes me. theres nothing rotten on it when you trim it. the bacteria forms a film of good mold that keeps the meat from rotting and losing any good stuff.

Its just a well aged cut of steak, tastes a lot more beefy/woodsy than fresh steak.
Both is good. Oh and you are a retard.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 07:05:22 2016 No.7620573 >>7615983 >ps4 games cooks you a meal.webm

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 07:46:08 2016 No.7620613 >>7619564 Shut the fuck up doughnut boy

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 07:48:14 2016 No.7620619 File: 33 KB, 528x292, 1445169638368.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7620613

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 07:48:16 2016 No.7620620 >>7619106 Is that Jeb!'s guac recipe?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 07:52:11 2016 No.7620625 >>7617959 I'd eaten Cheung Fun my entire life and it wasn't until fairly recently that I saw it actually being made. Blew my damned mind, so cool.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 08:42:40 2016 No.7620684 >>7619106 The best part of this is the sound-effects and since >no audio you can't appreciate it properly here

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 09:15:03 2016 No.7620719 >>7620226 Might be a steamer.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 09:37:35 2016 No.7620761 >>7616062 imo do this without the cream fraishe, it tastes better

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 09:46:15 2016 No.7620773 >>7615918 I actually have one of those, they're fucking great.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:07:08 2016 No.7620803 >>7616005 >FUSS U GO LIKE DIS >N DEN DIS >N DIS >LAK DAT >NNUP >HUP >HOO >NUT >N DEN LIKE DIS >LIKE DAT >HOOO fucking martin yan

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:12:34 2016 No.7620814 >>7618548 found the amuhrican

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:13:18 2016 No.7620816 >>7616062 just tried this the other day, life changing event desu

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:18:01 2016 No.7620826

>>7616077
>>7618724

we only moved one reggiano wheel every 3 months or so, but we always bought the good shit that's rested in caves in italy. the work is intensive if you want to waste nothing of your $2000 cheese wheel. here's how we do it for sale:

scrub and sterilize the fucking biro - a giant industrial table saw for meat

then we cut our way through into big wedges; halve those into smaller wedges

brush the cheese dust from each wege into a container for resale (the shit white people buy at the grocery store and call it parmesan)

bang all the wedge corners down so they don't tear through the vac pac

vac pac, weigh, tag every single wedge of that 85lb wheel

then brush the biro and empty its bin of cheese dust and pack and weigh it all

all told it takes about 6-8 man-hours of work to ready that wheel for sale.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:23:51 2016 No.7620833 File: 44 KB, 444x574, 1458948448586.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7619293 what kind of filling is that?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:30:27 2016 No.7620841 >>7615993 I, for one, welcome our new robot butcher overlords.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:53:46 2016 No.7620871 >>7620833 it's like I'm really browsing /v/

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 10:57:41 2016 No.7620876 >>7619654 >satire

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:17:41 2016 No.7620920 >>7619281 it's crema, just like on espresso, it's just coffee

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:27:37 2016 No.7620941 >>7619293 C U M M Y U M M Y

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:49:43 2016 No.7620990 >>7615983 Chinese Hogwarts

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:53:39 2016 No.7621002
File: 54 KB, 618x459, cucumber_technique.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7619807

I tried it. Didn't go great (uneven slice thickness and some wedges.) It was an awkward way to cut versus a more traditional downward cut towards the board.

I'll try it again later to attempt to learn this masterful method as soon as my hemostatic gauze arrives.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:56:31 2016 No.7621009 >>7618965 Can't wait til he dies of heart disease

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:58:10 2016 No.7621013 >>7619654 Pheasants hating on the most successful

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 11:59:11 2016 No.7621017 >>7618971 She probably throws it all up after

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 12:17:16 2016 No.7621052 >>7618965 Oh God...

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 12:17:40 2016 No.7621055 >>7615848 he looks like Tuco!

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 12:37:54 2016 No.7621093 >>7617967 all that delicate work and it still looks like shit in the end

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 12:58:14 2016 No.7621145 File: 9 KB, 300x281, th.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7621055 I was thinking he looks like Niko Bellic.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:10:14 2016 No.7621174 >>7619599 >>7620062 why would would he show people this

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:11:24 2016 No.7621176 >>7617903 anus

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:14:28 2016 No.7621182 File: 2.60 MB, 640x360, BeanSaladNSFW.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7621174 because he thinks that's great also jack has about 15000 views per vid so some people might find him great

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:14:33 2016 No.7621183 File: 530 KB, 519x504, tomatoes.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7621174 He's delusional and thinks he's good at stuff.

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:33:32 2016 No.7621231

>>7621183
He just posts his stuff here.

I don't know why you guys think that people actually get a kick out of this shit. He's probably an "intentional" troll that think he's some hot shit for spamming his garbage on an anonymous Mongolian barbecue forum.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:40:28 2016 No.7621256 >>7621231 You know he has a youtube 'show', right? Have you seen the comments? Most of them are from people that think he's a goddamn genius. Of course he deletes a lot of the negative comments, so the data's a bit skewed, but still...

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 13:44:01 2016 No.7621266 >>7619286 >SOMEONE IS GOING TO TRY TO UNCLOG THAT FRYER VAT MANUALLY AND BE BURNED WHEN IT SUDDENLY UNCLOGS AND SPEWS HOT OIL You seem like the kind of person who's stupid enough to attempt that. It should be common sense to let the oil cool down.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 14:05:17 2016 No.7621325 >>7618840 every egg is an ass egg if it comes from a chicken

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 14:26:56 2016 No.7621380 >>7617893 >dat oven rise >dat caramelization hnng

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 15:10:14 2016 No.7621513 >>7621231 His "cooking show" is just to promote his garbage sauces. I really doubt he's ever posted here, it's just /ck/ being infinitely triggered by his antics. Jack's even been on television trying to shill his sauces.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 16:00:29 2016 No.7621643 >>7619019 install VLC.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 16:04:32 2016 No.7621656 >>7620826 you were paying $23/lb for parmesan? how much were you selling it for?

Anonymous Fri Apr 29 17:13:45 2016 No.7621815

>>7621656
store was connected so we were probably paying around $16-17lb true cost and reselling it to rich dopes for $25

profit on the wheel was probably in the $700 range after paid man-hours deducted but you can only move so much out of a small shop. but on average we sold just shy of a pound a day. nobody's getting rich off a parm wheel but when a regular customer doesn't come by or there's bad weather you can look at the number to cheer yourself up a bit.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 17:13:49 2016 No.7621816 >>7619806 actually, it's a panzerotti, shitstain

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 21:32:04 2016 No.7622710 >>7621231 If you actually believe this you are in fact dumber than Ja/ck/

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 22:20:22 2016 No.7622930 >>7617967 literally what is the fucking point just eat it

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking