my 3 weeks in Italy: lame

[Matthew Robbins No.7528838]

I've been in central Italy for easter, I have some relatives there, in a small village in the middle of nowhere (boring as fuck btw)
this is my report
I can't say I often browse this board but I make this thread because surely you'll be interested.. it has been a culinary nightmare

1- Pizza is ridiculously expensive
the few times I left the boring ass village and went to the city it was 8 dollars for a thin, POORLY TOPPED pizza. 8 dollars?! in the country of pizza?!
kebab was only 4 dollars, so, apart once, I always ate that in the city, it wasn't even that good..

2- cringey culinary bigotry
Italians don't know how to improvise, I asked my old aunt to prepare some bacon once.. "but anon, it's good Friday, we can't eat meat today" she looked at me in disgust wtf.. I explained her that I'm an atheist, that I didn't care..I just wanted some bacon wtf.. nothing, she has been inflexible, stupid catholics.
Also, she never wanted to change (improve, actually) her recipes, she never listened my suggestions or my requests "but anon, we always did like this.." so what? who the fuck cares?!?

3- le "mediterranean cuisine is healthy" meme
no, eating almost everyday pasta, CAN'T be healthy.. nor eating literally tons of bread like they do
plus, it's not healthy for your MIND.. my aunt was literally a SLAVE in the kitchen, she didn't have a life.. waking up in the morning at 5 am to feed fucking chickens and other animals, making bread and fresh pasta, milking the goats??!! slaughtering the rabbits!?! taking care of the garden.. it was crazy, is this supposed to be a healthy lifestyle? err no thanks

[Adriana Sheppard No.7528842]

>>7528838
>>>/reddit/

[Rosie Weiss No.7528976]

ITT: absolute shitprince doesn't understand that old people are stubborn and old fashioned; your aunt may be one of the 15 people left in Italy to live in such a rural way, fuck, I can respect that. And learn to cook your own fucking bacon if you want it so much - even though it's pretty retarded to go to Italy and to want bacon, with the literal hundreds of DOP choices you have with prosciutto crudo, mortadella, coppa, bresaola, prosciutto arrosto and all their variations

Also, yeah, any pizza that isn't a basic-ass margherita is conna cost you more than 6€, people in developed parts of the world need to keep certain prices to pay their staff, instead of relying on the retarded system that is tipping; the thing that may have eluded you is also that good ingredients tend to cost a tad bit more than the shit you usually find in north america
Bonus points if you went to a touristic place

You are pretty much hopeless if you really are this autistic, anon

[Bonnie Crawford No.7529149]

>>7528838
>autism: the post

[Hugh Cooley No.7529153]

>>7528838
>it was 8 dollars for a thin, POORLY TOPPED pizza. 8 dollars?! in the country of pizza?!
That sounds cheap. And what you ate was authentic pizza. You may not like it because your own country put their own spin on it.

>2- cringey culinary bigotry
You were an asshole not being able to follow the old "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" tradition.

>3- le "mediterranean cuisine is healthy" meme
This was your country 60 years ago minus the pasta thing. They enjoy their traditional lifestyle.

[Naomi Compton No.7529164]

Reported for underage

[Blake Larsen No.7529166]

>>7528838
congratulations. you are an uncultured swine aka american. wala.

[Marla Key No.7529192]

>>7529153
>authentic pizza.

>implying "authentic" means "good"

lmao

[Jonathon Combs No.7529201]

>>7529192
It's pizza. Any other derivation of it is not pizza. So enjoy eating your pizza substitute also going by the name vegetable in USA.

[Dave Cowan No.7529205]

>>7529201
Kill you are self dirty iltaliano trash. American pizza is fucking delicious, also my favorite pizza is from little caesars. Get fucked bitch nigga

[Louise Fritz No.7529206]

>>7529201
Oh shut the fuck up you purist piece of shit. Is modern corn not really corn because it's been changed? Old doesn't mean good. You're stubborn.

[Christian Randall No.7529214]

>>7529205
So mad. Go eat a vegetable or well murrican bread with cheese fat fuck.
>>7529206
Yes I'm certain corn producing poison is awesome.

[Jackie Hester No.7529220]

>>7529214

>being this mad that your shitty italian "pizza" isn't good at all

[Jeanne Reynolds No.7529222]

>>7528838
>do something you find offensive because I'm spoiled and believe differently
>"fucking bigot catholics"

baka. Fuck off, OP.

[Anne Salas No.7529228]

>>7529220
I'm not even Italian you piece of shit. What you think is pizza is not really pizza. Get over it.

[Susie Le No.7529230]

Id hate to be related to op's peasant ass

[Sheryl Shields No.7529239]

>>7528838
$8 is cheap for a pizza you autistic hick, and every damn slice I've had in Italy was pretty good. Your trans-fat and simple carb addicted brain was probably craving shit tier put me in a food coma pizza hut or dominos deep dish with everything possible on it.

The few kebab places all looked like massive dumps run by Arabs in Italy, glad you enjoyed your $4 kebab, hope you also enjoy fecal matter on your food.

You dumb fuck, bacon is different in the US and Italy, it's more like ham and doesn't fry up crisp. Now I know you're full of shit, your autistic ass would have been jumping up and down screaming they tried to poison you with uncooked bacon.

[Austin Mahoney No.7529346]

Good bait

[Kay Singh No.7529348]

>>7528838
Holy shit what a faggot.

[Bryan Benjamin No.7529375]

>>7528838
>shitpost
>literal picture of shit next to said shitpost

2meta4me

[Dianna Whitney No.7529425]

either this is a joke cause its april first or OP is autistic as fuck and should chill out be glad he can travel to a place such as italy. lol

[Curtis Durham No.7529607]

I feel you OP. I was in Rome a few months ago, and I definitely wanted to try out some real Italian pizza. I had met a few people around at some pubs, and one afternoon I got them to take me to a pizzeria for dinner. They order for us, just some basic pizzas (I know enough Italian, but my accent is shite). A bit later, I see pic related come out, one for each of us.
I'm utterly shocked, and I pause a bit as I watch everyone eat theirs like nothing is wrong. I think maybe these guys are just trolling me, right? But no - I looked around, and saw some other people with this garbage too, unless they hired out an entire troupe just to fuck with me. Fuck Italy. Pic related - the fucking "pizza.

[Kayla Sweeney No.7529622]

>>7528838
>he believes the bacon is God meme
>he thinks 8 dollars is expensive
>he's an atheist
>he eats meat on good friday
>he thinks carbs like pasta are unhealthy
>he thinks waking up early to work is unhealthy for the mind

There's a website specifically for your kind. Now go.

[Eleanor Kaiser No.7529635]

>>7528838
>being an asshole to your old aunt
Wow, you're a dick, dude.

[Cheri Barajas No.7529653]

>>7529607
Wtf italy doesnt seem to care at all about their food anymore. That looks like shit..

[Franklin Hartman No.7529655]

MEH MEH MEEH, I travel to another place and things were different. DIFFERENT IS BAD!! WHAAA!!

[Antoinette Rowe No.7529691]

>>7528838
Pull the other one now, Anon. It's got campane on.

[Ella Bullock No.7529704]

/ck/, the most oblivious to bait board on 4chan.

[Connie Gardner No.7529711]

This thread is stupid

[Ella Martin No.7529821]

>>7528838
Sh-italy

[Tasha Dickson No.7529872]

>>7529166

>calls him uncultured
>spells viola "wala"

[Jasmine Swanson No.7529881]

>>7529872
>points out his spelling mistake
>spells voila "viola"

[Virginia Ferguson No.7529955]

>>7528838
Surely you must be a woman.
No self respecting man would type like you do.
>lest ye be underage

Nevertheless, your yelp quality post hasn't shaken my excitement of traveling to Italy later this year to try the cuisine and see the "boring ass middle of nowhere" towns.

I only hope I don't transform into a poor, petty, know-it-all like you before I arrive OP.

No one likes you and you're sterile.
Arrivederci.

[Andrew Bauer No.7529972]

>>7528838
>going to Italy for pizza
Why not try some other cuisine besides the one thing that you can get ANYWHERE else and have it taste exactly the same?
>culinary bigotry
You mean your relative had a religious boundary and she couldn't cook your bacon? Cook your own damn bacon, what's even the bitch?
>my aunt was literally a SLAVE in the kitchen, she didn't have a life.. waking up in the morning at 5 am to feed fucking chickens and other animals, making bread and fresh pasta, milking the goats??!! slaughtering the rabbits!?! taking care of the garden.. it was crazy, is this supposed to be a healthy lifestyle?

You mean I wouldn't have to have a job where I bust my tits for shitty pay, have half of my earnings go towards rent, and have all the leisurely time in the world to cook AND get all the house chores done? What horror...

And here I am a slave to the corporate universe where it's still socially expected of me to cook, clean, and take care of other household responsibilities after I get done with my day of being rooted in the ass.

[Jenna Kirk No.7530112]

>>7528838
that pic reminds me of this

[Tabitha Kim No.7530352]

>>7528838
They use dollars in Italy?

[Anonymous No.7530381]

>>7528838
you probably think that you ate an authentic pizza, but that's unlikely

pizza is not good everywhere even in Italy, in most places in northern italy it's hard like a cracker

real pizza is made only in Naples or at some pizzerias with a pizza maker who learned there how to do it

[Anonymous No.7530386]

>>7530381
>real pizza
>Naples

No.

[Fat cunt No.7530397]

>>7528838
>So mad. Go eat a vegetable or well murrican bread with cheese fat fuck.
> >>7529206
> Yes I'm certain corn producing poison is awesome.
>>>
>Jackie Hester 04/01/16(Fri)22:42:23 No.7529220▶>>7529228
>File: 1443522139.half-dude_ashl(...).jpg (593 KB, 1205x928)
>593 KB
> >>7529214
Spot the American.

[Anonymous No.7530425]

>>7530386
>you

[Anonymous No.7530441]

>>7528838
fuck off retard

[Anonymous No.7530451]

>>7528838
ahhahaah i'm so happy when i see tourists like you robbed in some italian restaurant. you deserve to be robbed, we don't want to share our culture with you.

[Fat cunt No.7530465]

>>7530451
But they come over claiming to be 1/3rd Italian, "My ancestors came from here"... Gets me laughing everytime.
Yanks always are part Scot/italian and some other random mix

[Anonymous No.7530477]

>>7528976
Agree with this guy. OP is a shitprince disgusting, typical cheap American.

Go back to eating shit served by niggers in your country shitprince. 'I'm an atheist look at my acne'

[Anonymous No.7530497]

>>7530465
I know, it's hilarious. Their ancestors left those places for a reason, why would they want to go back? It's like they don't have the brains they were born with.

[Anonymous No.7530501]

>>7528838
>I explained her that I'm an atheist, that I didn't care..I just wanted some bacon wtf.. nothing, she has been inflexible, stupid catholics.

Are you serious? This has got to be bait. No man can still be this immature.

>le "mediterranean cuisine is healthy" meme
>no, eating almost everyday pasta, CAN'T be healthy.. nor eating literally tons of bread like they do

There's nothing wrong with eating pasta and bread everyday. If your Italian relatives work hard all day on their farm they can burn enough calories to eat a lot of starch while still maintaing a healthy weight.

>waking up in the morning at 5 am to feed fucking chickens and other animals, making bread and fresh pasta, milking the goats??!! slaughtering the rabbits!?!

You mean what farmers all around the world have to do everyday so they can help feed your fat gullet?

If thus story is fake I've been baited hard. Congratulations.

[Anonymous No.7530784]

>>7528976
>may be one of the 15 people left in Italy to live in such a rural way
Yes because Italy is such an industrialised country.