itt: things that GRIND GEARS

[Anonymous No.7433791]

>buy a 5# roast
>so does "favor" of preparing it for me
>puts in roasting pan filled with water and sicks it in oven with no salt, no seasoning, no thermometer, no nothing
>didn't realize until too late

i'm so so fucking pissed right now i can't even cope

[Anonymous No.7433830]

>>7433791
>using # instead of lb or lbs or just fucking pound
>using SO instead of boyfriend or girlfriend
Both of those grind my gears pretty hard.

[Anonymous No.7433878]

>people don't cook with olive oil
>people cook with too much butter or lard
>people who don't eat real bread

[Anonymous No.7433913]

>People that pay thousands of bucks to travel abroad and "get to know new cultures"
>They eat nothing but junk/fast food and stuff you can get anywhere in the world

I did a trip to Chile a few years ago, and it still pisses me off that my cousins declined delicious paella, empanadas, sirloin on beer sauce, pan de pascua and other foods we had the oppotunity to taste for shit like grilled chicken breast with white rice and steamed broccoli, Subway salads and other shit that they can eat any day of the week at home.

[Anonymous No.7433930]

>>7433791
>5#
>so

[Anonymous No.7433940]

>>7433791
scold her, then bend her over and give her a few spankings.
not sexy spankings, but 'you dun goofed, bitch' spankings.

then later make up for it by 'punishing' her with some rough hate-sex, slap your cock on her face and make her say sorry for ruining your dinner.

[Anonymous No.7433954]

>>7433913
I feel the same way whenever my family goes to a chinese or mexican buffet, and I see everyone going for the mac n' cheese or rice.
Its like fucking seriously? Get you some goddamn dim sum or wonton soup or something. We eat mac n' cheese every other fucking day at home.

[Anonymous No.7433966]

>>7433913
It hurts me to hear that...

[Anonymous No.7433967]

>>7433954
>going to a chinese or mexican buffet
>being autistic about authenticity
4/10 I cringed
>>7433913
but anon, american flyovers do not have a monopoly on the use of chicken breast

[Anonymous No.7434302]

>>7433791
That roast could've been set upon a bed of vegetables, seasoned and dressed with rosemary and thyme, and enjoyed with a glass of chianti.

[Anonymous No.7434331]

>>7433878
>tfw you can no longer enjoy normal bread after learning to make your own
>tfw it takes a day and a half to make it
>tfw half your fridge is bowls of fermenting dough
>tfw everytime you see bread you end up checking out the crumb like you're trying to rape stare it.
>tfw nobody is interested in bread like you

[Anonymous No.7434391]

>>7434331
I like you anon. I also do my own bread. I only use Fleischman's nice bacteria and I sieve all my flour twice just in case. I c-could be your bread friend if you want it.

Also my autism do not let me bake anything without a good 30 minutes kneading session. My forearms are huge because of this.

Pic related my dinner

[Anonymous No.7434397]

>>7434331
Glad I'm not like this, because I'd realize that 90% of served breads would be shit. Probably along the same lines as being okay with youtube .mp3's vs .flac on /g/

[Anonymous No.7434400]

>>7434391
Just in case of what?

[Anonymous No.7434406]

poorly worded greentext stories

[Anonymous No.7434407]

>>7434400
I don't know to be honest. My mom told me in her childhood the flour would get some bugs in it while she grew on my grandparents' farm. I'm terrified of this. Never happened but it would be terrible to find a smashed bug while you knead the dough.

[Anonymous No.7434423]

>>7434391

yeast are not bacteria you fucking fuck they're eukaryotes

fucking get your shit straight

fuck

signed, drunk microbiologist

ps fuck you

[Anonymous No.7434434]

>>7433791

Yuropeons

[Anonymous No.7434442]

>>7434423
What the fuck mate? Are you serious? I learned in high school something about procarya and eukarya domains.

But no one never taught me about yeast. I assumed they were bacteria because of the alcoholic fermentation. I remember my teacher teaching that lactic fermentation is made by fungi and alcoholic by bacteria.

[Anonymous No.7434451]

>>7434442

yeasts are fungi. there's lots of fermentation but your bread and beer and wine and all that shit are s. cerevisiae yeast. ethanol, carbon dioxide, that's them guys. bacteria like lactic acid, like, the ones that grow on your teeth as plaque make lactic acid when it gets thick enough to be anaerobic. that shit makes cavities.

but yeah yeast have nuclei and bullshit genetics like the rest of us worthless eukaryote shitters

[Anonymous No.7434458]

>>7434442

ps you do lactic acid fermentation too when your muscles work too hard and run out of oxygen. thats why exercise burns

[Anonymous No.7434463]

>>7434451
Oh very nice. I would love learning more about fungi. Could you please indicate to me some introductory material please?

Other day some of my bread for some white spots with some kind of hair. I posted here and a fag said it was penicillium. Like what? this shit is used to make antibiotics and is worth millions and save lives and is growing in my old bread. Fungi are awesome.

[Anonymous No.7434476]

>>7434331
I know that feel but its even worse because i don't eat bread.
I absolutely love it but if I have even a bite my fat ass will eat the whole loaf.

[Anonymous No.7434485]

>>7434407
Weevils. They're really not a big deal. And you're certainly not going to get them from yeast lol.
As long as you keep your flour in a sealed container it'll be fine unless it's pre contaminated.

[Anonymous No.7434489]

>>7434463

textbooks, i guess. library has books. my old class notes? i got no clue, dawg.

fungi are alright but bacteria are the real shit. they make so many compounds with no fuck ups that we can only barely replicate with chemistry and even then it's impure and the sterics are fucked and the efficiency is in the toilet. and they can pass around whatever they know which is why drug resistance is a problem. all of our antibiotics are made from soil microbes and shit, they invented them to kill each other and we just kinda stole them. but they also invented defense and that can get from harmless soil bugs to staph and then boom we got fucking mrsa on our hands and you scraped your leg in the locker room? guess what you're fucked our drugs can't do anything. we cant even eat without the fuckers in our guts.

dont get it wrong pal they own this world and are reminding us with this drug resistance shit. multidrug resistant tuberculosis is out there. staph. strep. they can pretty much turn you to liquid shit while the doctors can only watch. fuck i love my job

[Anonymous No.7434494]

>>7434463
Want extra fun?
You can make delicious booze from rice (like normal cooked/steamed rice not even a liquid) with these "yeah balls" from an asian market that contain all sorts of micro organisms (aspergillus oryzae or similar and whatever strain of yeast primarily but there's all sorts of shit in them desu) that simultaneously break down the rice starches into fermentable sugars for the yeast. It's pretty neat watching a jar of rice turn into liquid alcohol (which can get up to like 20% alcohol). My most recent batch tastes like cantaloupe sort of lol.

Pretty fun simultaneous parallel fermentation.

[Anonymous No.7434498]

>>7434489
That is both fascinating and terrifying.


I've been hearing a lot lately how gut bacteria play a considerably larger role in our health than people imagine.

[Anonymous No.7434500]

>>7434494
>>7434489
That's very nice mate. I'm almost done with my math degree. So after I finish this shit I'll dedicate to my bread making hobby and read some stuff about fungi and bacteria.

[Anonymous No.7434504]

>>7434494

mind contaminants or you can get methanol and shit. don't brew up poison or you'll have a bad time. i brew, sterilize religiously, turns out great.

>>7434498

they do. patterns of colonization in your gut can predispose you to obesity or ibd or allergies. even depression. our neurons just use the same transmitters bacteria invented so theres crosstalk. might influence depression

[Anonymous No.7434577]

>>7434391
>yeast
>bacteria

[Anonymous No.7434581]

>>7434498
>I've been hearing a lot lately how gut bacteria play a considerably larger role in our health than people imagine.

It's become more of a thing because of all those "cleanses" that don't actually do shit to your gut bacteria.

[Anonymous No.7434595]

>>7434577

calm down nancy i handled it

>>7434581

actually buddy it's a thing because we can actually analyze this shit. old days, you had to culture everything and fuck figuring out every single species in a gut, besides that most of them don't culture well. population genomics are great, we can get 16s sequences and match those to species diversity which probably sounds like fucking babble to laypeople

anyways it's a thing because we can look for it and have started to look into the microbiome with these tools and understand what it does. its a trend in science. idiots out there see the science trend and pull some bullshit out of their ass about probiotics or cleanses and start a new fucking fad. and then i have to hear about my aunt's new probiotic plums and how she's so regular now and do i know anything about that

yes but shut the fuck up

anyways hello still here for some reason

[Anonymous No.7434625]

>>7433791
>this annoying fad where people think they are good cooks because they smother their food in bacon/cheese/butter
>when i buy my friends pizza and they dont eat the crust but continue helping themselves to slices
>when i pitch in money to buy pizza and they order thin crust + double cheese
>bro friends that only want the meat and no fixins
>people who go to buffets to piggu out on a single item
>people who waste food
>people who mix wasabi and soy sauce together
>kids at my school who leave their garbage on the table after eating
>kids who eat in the middle of class
>people who take forever ordering even though they had a good 5 minutes to read the menu in line before its their turn

[Anonymous No.7434668]

>>7434331
>>7434407
the chemistry between you two is adorable. you should have your own little autistic bakery where people can buy baguettes that measure exactly 15"

[Anonymous No.7434687]

>>7433913
Eh, I like to hit up a fast food place in other countries just to see the differences.

[Anonymous No.7434693]

>>7434687
I use McDonalds as a benchmark

[Anonymous No.7435185]

>>7434625
>when i buy my friends pizza and they dont eat the crust

Godamnit, why do people do this? What is wrong with some nice, crunchy pizza crust?

>people who take forever ordering even though they had a good 5 minutes to read the menu in line before its their turn

I've had worst. The Subway near my home had a promotion last week: buy a sub, get a free sub of the same type. The line was huge, and I waited for a good while before putting in my order. The slack-jawed fucker in front of me spent a good half hour staring at the walls and doing nothing. When his time to order came, it began:

>Uhhh... I'll have a half-foot sub
>No, wait, make that a footlong
>Or would i be better to get a half-foot?
>Yeah, I'll take the half-foot
>But I can take 2 footlongs home for the price of one, right?
>Then I'll definitely take the footlong
>An' I'll have the italian bread
>Wait, do you have flatbread? Gimme that then
>No, wait, since I'm eating so much,make that 9 grain wheat
>Fuck this, if I'm pigging out I'll have what I like, bring the herb&cheese
>Hurr... I'll want the tuna salad and smoked chicken with cream cheese
>"Sir, the promotion gives you a free duplicate of a sandwich, not a completely different free sub. Do you want 2 tuna salad subs and 2 smoked chicken and cream cheese, then?"
>Nah, just 1 ts and 1 sc w/ cc
>The promotion is explained again
>But I really wanted 1 ts and 1 sc w/ cc
>"I'm sorry sir, I can't do that, unless you are willing to pay for 2 different subs and taking 4 home"
>Damn, I really wanted that. I'll have a BMT then
>This shit goes on for every single step of his order
>He still spent a good 2 minutes choosing what cookie flavour he'd like before paying

[Anonymous No.7435193]

>>7434687
That's ok by me too, but declining a plate of steaming hot paella and shrimp empanada for Burger King? Leave that shit for late night snacking if here's nothing better available.

[Anonymous No.7435197]

>>7435193
>shrimp empanada
you realize this is not something we eat at all dont you?
i mean do you know how expensive shrimp is? empanadas are cheap food, i mean at least you had some paella but shrimp empanada is not any more local than a burguer

[Anonymous No.7435244]

>>7434331
I love baking bread. I love eating fresh homemade bread. I looks making delicious bread to give to family and friends. I am good at making bread and have many compliments.

ITT: Things that grind your gears
I have to stop eating bread and making bread to give to my girlfriend because she is getting fat and I am on a cut. Bread is the most delicious of the empty calories.


>tfw everytime you see bread you end up checking out the crumb like you're trying to rape stare it.

I know that feel

[Anonymous No.7435248]

>>7434407
Flour mites? They're harmless. The worst thing about them is seeing them at all. Just store your flour in a Kilner jar or something and they can't get in it.

[Anonymous No.7435302]

>>7435197
To them, that was not the case. Imagine the most generic, whitebread, movie suburbia dwelling-like human being possible. Now, multiply that by two: you now have those two cousins of mine. They live their lives in a way I can only describe as "bland as all fuck", and even an empanada would be a radical deviation from their routine.

Also, their father is a civil enginner contractor that has money oozing out of every orifice in his body, money is not a problem at all in this scenario.

[Anonymous No.7435366]

>>7434331

[Anonymous No.7435384]

>people who only eat 2 slices of bread, and one slice of meat every 24 hours.

[Anonymous No.7435396]

>can I have a diet coke with two baconators fries and a cheesecake

[Anonymous No.7435436]

>People refuse to throw out expired food stuffs.

[Anonymous No.7435442]

>>7433791
what is this picture? I've seen it posted a few times before.

[Anonymous No.7435467]

>>7435442
http://www.wikiart.org/en/ilya-repin/ivan-the-terrible-and-his-son-ivan-on-november-16-1581-1885

[Anonymous No.7435767]

>>7434625
grow up

[Anonymous No.7437591]

>>7434498
>>7434581
You guys should, like seriously, look up kombucha

Kombucha is a sweetened tea fermentation from a yeast/bacteria colony called a "scoby' that generate a perfect gut microbiotic balance.

I just got in on fermentation that way because the list of probiotic effects are, like, fundamentaly good for you. Nutrition truly is the foundation of all health.

It got like 30 different acids, where the most notable one can detox your liver and pull out hormone-disruptive heavy metals and plastics from your body.

Too bad I am not good with caffeine. The taste really got delishious with black tea, the one already fermented. Purists claim is essential for good combucha.

You only need 10% starting liquid to stabilze the brew, so molds and other unwelcome bacteria gets backed the fuck off. The 0,5% alcohol also stabilize it, and heck, it's like the levels in orange juice.

[Anonymous No.7438608]

>>7434687
Best McDs I've been to was in Morocco

[Anonymous No.7439279]

>>7435185
I hate crust that is too crunchy and dry. I want it to be somewhat soft on the inside.

[Anonymous No.7439292]

>>7438608
my nigga

the McArabia tasted pretty fuckin gud

[Anonymous No.7439312]

>>7437591
I'm well aware of kombucha, kefir, and all manner of fermented foods anon. I love them!


Really ned to get on top of making my own kombucha....

[Anonymous No.7439323]

>>7434668
>encouraging autists to copulate and multiply
do the species a favor and encourage them all to kill themselves

[Anonymous No.7439342]

>>7437591
>like seriously
>like 30 different acids
>like the levels in OJ
>ekil

[Anonymous No.7439384]

>people who use pre-ground coffee