Golumpki & Gnocchi

[Anonymous No.7251525]

Hey /ck

Join me on a birthday journey where I make some golumpki and gnocchi. I'm pretty fucking drunk right so I don't know how this is going to go, but I have pictures fucking galore that I took for you guys. The recipes may come tomorrow when I sober up, but for tonight, just enjoy the slide show with a little commentary.

First, let's start with the golumpki, which is a polish stuffed cabbage.

Took two cabbage from my local market and began to blanch them so I could use it to wrap my filling. Here's cabbage #1.

[Anonymous No.7251535]

Here's #2.

So I cored the stem (eat the core if you guys ever do this, its very sweet tasting and probably the best part of a cabbage) and put it in a pot to blanch the leafs which make them more pliable and easier to work with.

[Anonymous No.7251540]

Here's the leafs opening up as the blanching process comes to an end. Once completely blanched, we remove the cabbage from the pot and let cool so we can handle it. You'll know the blanch is complete when the cabbage starts to "blossom" and spread out a little bit.

[Anonymous No.7251545]

Here's the cabbage removed from the blanch water and cooling so I can handle it. Fucker was hot, burned at least two of my fingers getting it in the bowl, but I was pretty drunk at the point so it's okay I guess.

[Anonymous No.7251551]

So while the leafs cool, we're going to get our filling ready. I bought some 85/15 ground beef which we're going to mix with some sea salt, paprika, fresh ground pepper corns, two eggs, and two yellow onion.

If anyone recognizes the cutting board, I did a pizza thread not too long ago. I'm that dude.

[Anonymous No.7251553]

Oh, and I forgot, we're also going to get some fresh parsley in there also!

[Anonymous No.7251556]

Let's crush that fucking peppercorn up. Love working with my mortar and pestle.

[Anonymous No.7251560]

The floral scent that comes off freshly crushed pepper is fucking amazing. I'll recommend to anyone to use a mortar and pestle for crushing their spices up.

[Anonymous No.7251564]

Choppin' the parsley up!

[Anonymous No.7251566]

Choppin' some yellow onion up! Starting to smell like happy in the kitchen.

[Anonymous No.7251569]

We're going to saute the onion in a pan with some olive oil for a couple minutes to bring out the flavor a little bit. Into the pan it goes. Going to put a little salt and crushed pepper in there also.

[Anonymous No.7251578]

Oh yeah... those are starting to come along nicely. Now that they're properly sauteed, we're going to transfer them to our mixing bowl and start adding the other ingredients.

[Anonymous No.7251582]

Mmm, doesn't that just look fucking delicious all on its own...

[Anonymous No.7251589]

So to the onions, we're going to add our ground beef, two eggs, 1 tsp of paprika, 1 tsp of sea salt, 1 tsp of our ground peppercorn, and 1 tsp of garlic powder. Ideally, I would have used fresh garlic and sauteed it with the onion, but I was, and still am, drunk as fuck and wasn't thinking. Oh well, next time.

[Anonymous No.7251593]

Get that son of a bitch all mixed up with that onion/

[Anonymous No.7251595]

Almost forgot the parsley! Let's throw that in there and get it mixed up too.

[Anonymous No.7251601]

Cabbage should just about be cooled by now, let's start peeling that stuff back and getting our wraps ready. Don't worry if some fall apart on you, that's fine. With two cabbage, you have more than enough wraps to work with. Save the ones that fall apart because we're going to coat the bottom of our pan with them later on.

[Anonymous No.7251607]

Now that our cabbage is pulled apart (disregard the foil in the background, those are the baked potatoes that we're going to use for the gnocchi later on), we're going to prep them for the wraps; a tedious, yet necessary process.

[Anonymous No.7251612]

As you can see from this picture, the point of the knife is directly on the stem. We want to shave it a little bit so it's not as thick. Shaving down the stem will allow us to roll the cabbage leaf easier. On the left you'll see I cut off part of the lead to make it more symmetrical and easier to roll. Do not be afraid to cut your leafs so the size or shape that you want or need them to be.

[Anonymous No.7251618]

Here you can see the difference in shaving off part of that stem. It makes the leaf much more mailable so we can wrap our filling much easier.

[Anonymous No.7251624]

Before we get to our filling, let's coat the bottom of our pan with all those disgarded leafs that didn't make the cut. This isn't technically necessary with a glass pan like I'm using, but if you're using a metal pan it's more traditional to do so, so the golumpki doesn't stick to the bottom.

[Anonymous No.7251633]

Now to the filling!

Get a spoonful of the meat mixture we developed earlier and stick it near the center of your leaf. Make sure to pack it tight as you wrap it. I hope you know what I mean by that, because it's hard as fuck to explain in pictures.

[Anonymous No.7251635]

Oh fuck yeah, perfection... This is what you want your wraps to look like.

[Anonymous No.7251638]

Same wrap from another perspective.

[Anonymous No.7251641]

Same wrap from another ANOTHER perspective.

[Anonymous No.7251646]

Now we got an entire pan full of wraps! I was able to get about 25 in total. I ran our of wraps just as I finished my filling, it worked out perfectly. Don't be afraid to stack them on top of one another, it's all good.

[Anonymous No.7251649]

Mmmm, look at those beauties.

[Anonymous No.7251654]

So golumpki calls for a tomato sauce topping. I grabbed a can of tomato paste and got to mixing. If I weren't so drunk, I would have made a sauce out of the tomatoes I have in the fridge, but at this point I'm about 3 drinks from blackout mode; maybe I should have eaten today, but fuck it, we're cooking and drinking and its my birthday so fuck you.

[Anonymous No.7251656]

Pic of my bottom self booze that I topped off tonight. I'm sure this will get someone's knickers in a bunch.

[Anonymous No.7251661]

Anyway, back to the sauce. I mixed in 2 cups of boiling water to the paste so actually make the sauce. Also added in a little salt, pepper and oregano. The traditional recipe doesn't call for any of that, but I prefer the additional flavors to my sauce, and you might too. Play around with it and find a sauce you like.

[Anonymous No.7251663]

Over the top it goes!

[Anonymous No.7251667]

So we're going to cover this bad boy with foil and let it cook in the oven at 350F for 2 hours. Which is perfect because it allows me to begin working on the Gnocchi which I have -never- made before.

Here goes nothing.

[Anonymous No.7251671]

So earlier in the day I made 3 baked russet potatoes, which was my downfall of the evening which you will see in later pictures; holy fuck I think I have enough Gnocchi to last me a month.

[Anonymous No.7251673]

Peeled off the skins and put the potatoes in a bowl to mash up.

[Anonymous No.7251676]

Whole Milk Ricotta?
Yes please.

1lb for $4? Fuck I love Sprouts.

[Anonymous No.7251679]

We're also going to add some fresh Rosemary to the potato-ricotta mix to give it a floral aroma.

[Anonymous No.7251683]

Chives too? Why the fuck not.

That's the rosemary on the cutting board all ready to go.

[Anonymous No.7251685]

Oh man, this is starting to smell really fucking good.

[Anonymous No.7251689]

Time for the eggs.

Did I mention the eggs?

Yeah... we're adding 2 eggs to this.

[Anonymous No.7251690]

Yeah, get the fuck in there...

[Anonymous No.7251697]

Now that the eggs are all mixed in, it's time to add the flour.

This is where things start to go horribly, horribly wrong.

[Anonymous No.7251708]

Just shifting flour, you know... normal stuff...

But wait...

The mix is still moist and sticky...

Better add some more flour.

Wait, it's STILL too sticky.

Some more flour.

Holy fuck, still? What the hell is happening?

More flour.

Oh god what the actual fuck???

MORE FLOUR.

I think it took around 10 FUCKING CUPS of flour to turn it onto an actual dough. Long god damn story short, DO NOT USE 3 POTATOES FOR A SMALL BATCH. Nobody warned me about this shit. Use 1 potato, 2 max. If you use 3 potatoes like my dumb ass did, you're going to end up with 4 fucking pounds of dough which took me nearly a half hour to get in the right consistency. I have literally 3 1/2 lb of dough now sitting in my fridge; I'm going to be eating Gnocchi for the rest of the month.

[Anonymous No.7251711]

That's a lot of mother fucking dough. I used 1/4 of that, and 1/2 of THAT, and another 1/2 OF THAT 1/2 to get what I wanted to use tonight.

[Anonymous No.7251712]

cool thread, OP

[Anonymous No.7251713]

Well whatever... let's get to rolling. I hand rolled out some long strands of the potato dough and I'm going to cut up into bite sized pieces.

[Anonymous No.7251715]

>>7251712

Thanks


Look at all that fucking dough I still have left over. God damn it...,

[Anonymous No.7251720]

Ugh, dough aside... here's the bite sized pieces that I cut up. Pressed them down in the middle to make them... I don't know... visually appealing? Shit I'm 1 more drink away from saying fuck it and going to McDonalds for a double double. But... I know it will all be worth it, just need to cook up this fucking gnocchi and I'll be golden.

[Anonymous No.7251722]

>>7251720

Forgot pic like a drunken asshole

[Anonymous No.7251727]

Alright, let's get to boiling these mother fuckers.

Water in pot, check.
Medium high heat, check.
Salt in water, check.

[Anonymous No.7251731]

Here's like... a broader view of my work station. I don't know what I was doing. I still don't know what I'm doing. Next picture is of me cooking the gnocchi... I think....

[Anonymous No.7251739]

Yeah, there we go. So I put some olive oil in the water too. Those things cook quick. Had to work fast to get it on the other skillet so I can pan fry them.

[Anonymous No.7251743]

Here they are transferred into the pan getting nice and golden. Smells pretty damn fantastic, can't wait to eat them.

My golumpki should be just about done. Timed this so they'd both finish at the same time.

[Anonymous No.7251745]

SERIOUSLY, look at all that fucking dough!

[Anonymous No.7251746]

Well the gnocchi is almost done... time to get some lemon zest on there.

[Anonymous No.7251750]

Piece of shit, I fucking hate you. If I were sober I'd kick your ass.

[Anonymous No.7251752]

>>7251635
Good wrap job OP. That looks appetizing as fuck already.

[Anonymous No.7251754]

Pretty much done. Let's just garnish this with a little fresh basil and get you into a bowl.

[Anonymous No.7251755]

Nice thread OP

[Anonymous No.7251762]

Jesus fuck, what a catastrophe of a work station. Let's just get this shit over with, I'm too god damn drunk. Finish off the Gnocchi with a little grated parmesan and we'll call it done.

Now to get the golumpki out of the oven.

[Anonymous No.7251765]

Mix mix mix mix mix

[Anonymous No.7251767]

ALL. THAT. DOUGH.

[Anonymous No.7251771]

Well the Golumpki is done, let's find out how it looks. Smells pretty awesome at this point.

Mother fucker dripping all over my stove. Ugh, I'm thirst.

[Anonymous No.7251773]

Mmmm, you sexy son of a bitch bastard.

[Anonymous No.7251776]

>>7251773
More!

[Anonymous No.7251778]

So here's the final plate. I just grabbed whatever I could find fast because I was hungry as fuck.

Golumpki: 10/10, tasted amazing
Gnocchi: 7/10; needed more salt, think I was too drunk to make

It was a fun birthday.

As I end my post, I will shamelessly plug the /ck/ cooking competition set to possibly happen in March. When I'm sober, I'm actually a pretty damn cook, and I encourage everyone here to sign up. I'll kick all your asses. See you on the battlefield.

http://ckchallenge.blogspot.ca/

Night /ck/

[Anonymous No.7251798]

Oh look I found one more

[Anonymous No.7251839]

Fuck I am jealous, how do you take such good pictures? Your lighting is uniformly good and there's no sign of camera shake (and you're obviously not using a tripod). I can't photograph anything in my kitchen without a getting a blurry yellow colored unappetizing pic.

[Anonymous No.7251845]

>>7251839

Don't know what to tell you bud, they're just pics I take with my phone. I don't put any effort into it except for finding an angle where my shadow isn't overlapping what I'm trying to get a picture of.

[Anonymous No.7251855]

>>7251654
Happy birthday, OP. This looks really fucking delicious.

[Anonymous No.7251910]

>>7251839
Good lighting - bright and preferably white (high wattage fluorescent bulb). OP probably shot during the day and you should as well. Open your windows and open your lights if natural light isn't enough. And if it's in the evening, it might help to tape some white paper over a lamp or flashlight and shine that on your food too. You're never gonna get anything decent with your phone from dim incandescent light bulbs.

Phone wise, experiment with the white balance and exposure level (don't just depend on automatic mode). Never use the flash. And you're probably getting blurry pics if the setting is in some sort of night mode and you can't keep absolutely still.

[Anonymous No.7252159]

>>7251654
Happy Birthday, OP. Glad to spend part of it with you.

[Anonymous No.7252181]

Happy birthday op, shit looks cash

[Anonymous No.7252425]

Golumpki ooks good, OP. Makes me want to make some.

[Anonymous No.7252469]

good

[Anonymous No.7252556]

Happy b-day, looks great

hell yea, sprouts is based as fuck. Pacific Rose apples are goat and they carry them cheap

[Anonymous No.7253232]

Looks yummy op nicely done

[Anonymous No.7253331]

Dawned upon me this morning I didn't show you a picture of the golumpki halved, so here it is.

[Anonymous No.7253364]

>>7251663
Huh, you baked it and came tomato all over it. Me mum always simmers/braises the batch in a high covered pot. The sauce is prepared in a separate pot as an option to the dish because gołąbki are great on their own. Especially on the second day, fried or baked.

[Anonymous No.7253375]

>>7253364

Didn't have the right equipment, no oven ready pot. This is more down and dirty unfortunately.

[Anonymous No.7253376]

nice, OP

[Anonymous No.7253423]

This is awesome, OP, thanks!

Great to see this kind of OC

[Anonymous No.7253449]

We need more OPs like you on /ck/.

[Borneo No.7253487]

>>7251708
thats odd, a recipe i read a while ago had a ratio of approximately 1:3 flour to potato by weight. could be the taters were too wet or something

anyway good looking meal opa, happy birthday