/ck/ - Food & Cooking

J U I C Y
U
I
C
Y

talk shit get hit

>>7247455

>>7247442
>chicken and jalapenos
is he asking to die?

I think it's time you guys stop making fun of this man. He is clearly not all there mentally. Imagine how you would feel if someone said terrible things about you online everyday. Wouldn't feel good now would it?

>>7247442
I'm pretty sure King Jack has built up a natural immunity to salmonella and various other bacteria with all the "pink" chicken and meat he ruins.

>>7247466
We must break him.

everything drenched in fat as always look at it when he picks it up

mmmh so delicious and MOIST

>>7247476
This.

It's the only way

>>7247489
you can see the fajita is leaking/peeing fat and salsa juice (wtf is up with the super watery salsa?) when he takes a bite... and then does that fucking annoying girly mouth covering right after

>>7247476
>>7247495
Well then how you plan on doing that?

>>7247504
By crashing the plane

>>7247506
With no survivors.

>>7247506
... Why?

>>7247510
thanks, m8, was just going to make it myself

I'd like to order the clip of him cutting and placing the pink chicken on the fajita as well

>>7247464
Is it supposed to be a poutine? Also, why is he on a rug?

>>7247442
He's more interested in hosting a cooking show than actually tasting food.

Is this guy some kind of meme?

moist, delicious, beautiful.

>>7247523
jack is a big fan of healthy, raw diets

>>7247519
it's a bath towel. yes, that's poutine

>>7247531
forgot to link the vid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI3sGmzse-Q

>>7247536
here's the original since that is a redo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJnH-t9GiLs

haven't watched either one fully yet

>>7247491
>>7247442
>tfw got bloody chicken wings the other day and this thread triggers me

>>7247536
>throw away a whole fry instead of just cutting out the dark part

so wasteful and disrespectful

>>7247536

That towel game is off the hook!

>>7247545

>>7247593
Are we posting rare Ja/ck/s?

>>7247609

>>7247464
>first scoop, fine
>oh fuuuuuck he's going for another!!!
>throw up in my mouth a little
>OH HOLY FUCK NO, THREE SCOOPS

>>7247629
Oh my how scandalous

>>7247504
Read the comments on his latest chicken fajita video. It has begun. His viewers are becoming aware and critical. This is only the beginning.

>>7247636

I like him

>>7247649
a pink chicken leg one would be nice

>>7247665
Was literally just thinking about that, will do.

>>7247656
He loves stuffing his mouth doesn't he?

>>7247681
sure does

>>7247523
He has to be trolling here. No one is that bad at cooking chicken...

>>7247788
jack does it again and again

claims that he even uses a meat thermometer for the chicken in his latest posted chicken fuck up (op post)

he's too dumb and proud to actually fully cook the chicken despite everyone telling him that he is simply wrong and it's not fully cooked

>sticks tongue out when taking a bite
>covers his mouth so not to be crude

>>7247855
requesting more slowed down webms of king jack taking big manly bites

>>7247917
not slowed down but eh

>>7247855
That's not actually slowed down, it's him pretending to be in slow motion.

>>7247929
damn, that's pathetic
but I still like the slowdown idea

>>7247536
holy fuck that's one of the towels he probably uses to dry his ass hole off after showering in his bbq sauce

>>7247923
>that tongue waggle

>>7247442
He shall be known as /ck/WC from now on.

>>7247929
>That's not actually slowed down, it's him pretending to be in slow motion.
What

Why

>>7247975
https://youtu.be/IpHJffM3G1c?t=227
supposed to be a joke I guess

I can't stop watching Ja/ck/ videos. :(

I think I need help.

>>7247442
>First slice into the first breast
Salmonella

>>7247536
>>7247531
>>7247519
>>7247464

"""poutine"""

>>7247917
Point out a video and a timestamp and I'll see what I can do

>>7247510
>>7247523

I watched this vid the other day when it came out and decided that jack is just trolling. There is no way that a man that is sold nationwide could cook so poorly.

I just recently realized that my parents used to buy jack's salsa...I thought it was just bad costco salsa...turns out it is bad costco salsa FROM JACK.

>>7247609
>tongue acceptance

ughhhhhh

>>7248203
That salsa is not actually made by Ja/ck/... all of his products are called "The Best ____ You'll Ever Taste"

>>7248195
I can do them myself if needed. Just thought someone might already have a bunch of them so it would be easy to just slow them down to see all the gory detail of Big Boy Bite™.

>>7248211
oh...i see. So that shitty water sauce he puts on everything is his brand....phew. I dodged a bullet here.

>>7248206
he uses that big fat old tongue to clean his wife once the bull is done

>>7247442
guess he must have sold out of his own brand of salsa.

>>7247442
this looks ok

>>7247502
>fat

>>7247609
he's in flavourtown now. no brakes

>>7247442
>COCONUT OIL IS TOTALLY HEALTHY U GUYS!!!!

lol

>>7248324
yes, fat, Jack

>chicken contains no fat and neither does coconut oil or the marinade he used

shit's loaded with fats

>>7248419
That's not fat, it's clearly JUICE.

>>7248448
it's fat and salsa water

>>7247536
I really wanted to see him lose a finger to that multitasker he was leaning on.
For three goddamn potatoes too. Anyone with half a brain would have just grabbed a goddamn knife.
God, he makes me angry. Not just because he's the least skilled cook I have ever seen but because he stands there week after week for fucking years and pretends to teach others.

>>7247491

wasn't he just reviewing a kitchen product?

it wasn't like he was cooking a chicken normally so it's not his fault. it's the false advertising of the product

are any of his sauces or whatever good?

I'll consider buying one if i ever see one.

>>7248523

>>7248540

how is he allowed to sell products that fail to meet safety standards?

>>7248541
>"Just pop it in the microwave for a minute."

>>7248541
Things you haven't paid enough attention to because you kept looking at where he points with his fork:
>fork leaves red marks where he holds the meat
>the place where he cut fills up with red liquid literally by itself
>leg on the right is literally pink

>>7248561
They're literally the things everyone picks on, anon.
You high or something?

G O R G E O U S
O
R
G
E
O
U
S

>>7248516
His product reviews always end with him saying the product sucks because he's too dumb to figure it out and throws the instructions away.

>>7248566
>implying

>>7248561
You're also missing out how he scrapes that gorgeous Shun against the bone, even though it's sort of dull looking.

>>7247548
Chill out Mr dink

>>7248574
>That gelatinous looking pork meat that doesn't pull apart

How do people unironically watch his videos and think of him as a good cook? Are they even worse than him?

>>7248516
He didn't say "this turned out wrong. I blame the product."
He said "Look how beautiful and moist this is! There's blood coming out here, so I'm not going to eat that part, just the part a quarter inch away from it that's also oozing fluid. If this is too pink for you a minute in a microwave oven will magically fix that."

That's the real problem with this lardball; every goddamn video with chicken is full of comments about how he fucked it up and he's too much of a proud manchild to learn from it.
If someone served him this in a restaurant he'd probably throw it through a window.

>>7247442

>>7248274

i'm dying..

top kek anon

>>7247442
fuuuuuuck he touched EVERYTHING after handling the raw chicken

>>7248274

>>7248206
Just for you

What if a sociopath like VeganGains learned about Ja/ck/? He fucking hates fatass carnists like Ja/ck/ and I would love to see him just tear him apart.

>>7248678

vegan gains is the antithesis of the cu/ck/ in every way.. i want them to do a sitcom.

How does jack manage to fuck up chicken every single time. Beyond understanding

>>7248541
so tender
so moist
so succulent
and perfectly cooked
just like nana used to make

>>7248695
he sets the cooking heat too high to make his videos faster

>>7248695
since he does it wrong (leaves it semi-raw and pink) repeatedly despite being told it's undercooked, he is doing it out of pride - he thinks he knows better when he clearly doesn't

he is a seriously arrogant "regular joe"

It's not raw.
It's medium!

Atleast his nigglet friends seems to do better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTOd-BDDHVo

>>7248793
"business associates and personal friends."

So this is the guy, eh?

>>7248793
All that crying in the comments about the guy joking about slapping a dog with a newspaper, though.
I guess they don't know Jack's stance on discipline.

>>7248793

How long till Jack gets cu/ck/ed

>>7248838
You mean how long until it happens again? I dunno, how long until he wakes up?

>>7247521
>meme
retard.

>>7247442
I can't stop looking at this picture.
I saw it before I went to bed last night and it made me have a dream.
I was a Zebra in the Savannah eating a patch of grass. A delicious patch of grass with a few heaping tablespoons of mud. I am the king of the Zebra and I feel fantastic, life couldn't be better.
Something moves in the trees
I look over and see nothing. The trees are scary though.. something about the trees today. As though they would choke me out if I disobeyed them before shunning me from their lives.
I think nothing of it.
I go back to eating grass with my chums.

The next thing I know my friends are scrambling for cover around me
I look back to the trees
One of them is charging towards me.
The words 'Jack on the Hunt' are floating in the air behind him.
He stops for breath and I try to escape but it is too late, I am within range of The Best Crossbow You'll Ever Use and the next thing I know I am on the floor bleeding out.

Jack approaches my corpse and I hear him say 'yeah that crossbow works much better than the store brands' as he takes a bite out of my hide.
'the African sun already cooked this, the juices are flowing'
Those will be the last words I ever hear.

I wake up in a cold salsa sweat.

>>7247803
That chicken is cooked ok.
It's just the lighting.

>>7248844
Goddamm, dude has some beautiful eyes

>>7248855
I'll submit this script to Disney

>>7247951
Didn't even notice that before, holy shit
Combined with this >>7247681 I'm starting to think Jack is Jabba incarnate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sR0mrUU9bs

i really, really, really want to fist this man.

>>7247466
>He is clearly not all there mentally.

Clearly, he's religious.

>>7247536
>JUST smothered in hot gravy.. that's beautiful

>>7248793
Cooking With Jack Show 11 hours ago
+noviceprepper53 I honestly enjoyed them more than lettuce. They taste like lettuce that is double thick. Kind of cool.

>double thick

or you know.. "twice as thick".. who the fuck says double thick

>>7247442
>all that liquid that dripped out at the end

>>7248516
But it was just a seasoning packet....how would that help this fucking retard to learn how to cook chicken thoroughly?

>>7248989
OH MY FUCK

>>7248989
Welp time to shut off my laptop for the century

>>7248857
Shut up! Jack

>>7248696
How many people in your family have died of salmonella?

>>7248793
Terrible knife skills.

We should have a jack off, who can make the spiciest jack memes.

>>7248989
what the fucking fuck anon
this isn't /b/

>>7247442
Poultry should never, ever, ever be pink in the middle. That is just bad cooking.

>>7247442
Watch Jack in action

http://www.cnbc.com/live-tv/west-texas-investors-club/full-episode/a-time-to-grill/502726211915

>>7248998

Well, he is a novice.

>>7249088
Could someone upload this on vid.me, so we can enjoy it outside the US?

>>7249014
Maybe if it included a video on how to cook chicken. Words and written instructions are for dumb dumbs after all.

REMINDER THAT JACK'S EXCUSE FOR RAW MEAT (let alone undercooked meat) IS THAT HE CHECKS THE TEMP BEFORE HE EATS IT, AND ALSO HIS CAMERA SETTINGS MAKE HIS MEAT LOOK PINKER THAN IT IS IRL.

>>7249014
The seasoning packet instructions aside, when I saw the size/cut of his chicken I instantly knew it would need to be cooked longer.

Mostly because I can cook, and he's weirdly stubborn when he sees instructions (well the ones he reads).

I don't actually think he can read.

>>7249266
maybe he needs to buy a new thermometer and camera, let's start a kickstarter for jack!

Looks good to me. What exactly did this guy do wrong /ck/?

The only problem with Jacks food is how he presents it as being of a very high standard.

If Jack opened up a fast food chain he would have plenty of success, and I am sure he would become a millionaire very easily. Lets examine Jacks cooking and compare it to the most successful fast food chain, McDonalds

>Meat quality
McDonalds has a very low, thin meat quality that it impossible to undercook. If Jack opened a fast food restaurant then the meat wouldn't be thick enough to undercook so it wouldn't be a problem. Besides when people buy fast food they don't care if it is a little undercooked

>Health
Jacks food isn't healthy but nobody expects health from a fast food place. His bean salad is a great example of something that could be a success in a fast food place

>Mascot
Jack is very friendly and loveable. He is quite similar to Colonel Sanders in many ways. I can easily foresee a future in which people discuss Pastor Jack and his secret blend of salsa and cream cheese

>Ease to make
Any untrained fool can make Jacks recipes, he is just an inventor, not a chef. He is like Willy Wonka but with tins of onion instead of chocolate and experimental cooking equipment from Amazon instead of umpa lumpas

>Variety
Jack has a staggering amoutn of food. He makes breakfast, cookies, main meals. Plenty for an entire fast food menu. I would love to see Jack creating regional dishes for example in France he could sell Cool Whip Croissants and in Italy they could prepare Lazy Mans Spaghetti and Frozen pizza meatballs

The only thing he needs is a name. Jackdonalds? Scalfanizza Hut? Palestinian children must Dieminos?

>>7249327
The problem is that his food doesn't taste good.

He didn't even win his church chilli cook off.

>>7247510
First time I've ever heard of this guy. How does this butterball have so many subscribers? He's terrible at cooking, isn't attractive, and isn't a super eloquent speaker or anything. Are people really that dumb that they think this guy deserves my sub

>>7249353
MUH AVERAGE JOE HOMECOOK.

To be fair, he's been on YT for a while and it's appearing that a lot of his goodwill is being lost and he's getting more dislikes/critical comments.

>>7249327
Scalfani's: The best food poisoning you'll ever taste

SnakAttak: Raw. Simple. Beautiful

Myrna's Salad Bar: It's always a party

Jack's World Kitchen: When in Rome, re-do as the Roman's do

The face of the man cucking Ja/ck/

>>7248574
It's this a joke? That rubbery shoulder isn't cooked.
>>7248585
This I don't get out. Maybe everyone watches it to see what afuck up he is and he thinks we are actually watching it because it's good? Or do people comment saying don't listen to the haters, they b mad cuz they gotta eat shit while watching you cow on gourmet food.

>>7247464
Is he doing that on his fucking bed?

>>7248793
I really liked him. Funny how jack fucked up hi shit by buying turkey. His friends probably like well if this jackass can make money from not knowing how to cook then so can i

>>7247521
Yes the biggest

>>7249403
At least Jack didn't cook the poultry himself.

>>7247442
I wanna see Jack on Masterchef or Hell's Kitchen.

>>7248793
>Black man on show
>Make recipe containing collars

Bit racist there Jack.

>>7249415
Thought that too lol
>>7249359
Good will? Like poisoning kids that are learning to cook?
We have different definitions of goodwill

>>7248855
>'the African sun already cooked this, the juices are flowing'
I lost my shit at this. 10/10 I'm crying.

>>7247855
why does he close his eyes...

>>7247536
I hate how he closes the comments like a massive pussy on his first fuck up videos. If you suck so bad you can't review your own recipes before you upload them, then at least learn to embrace the hate.

>>7249585
he's enjoying the flavours

>>7249543
laughed so hard at this and the filename especially

>>7249327
>Jack is very friendly and loveable
Unless you're Middle Eastern, but that's a whole 'nother story.

>>7248665
ughhhhhhhhhhhh

>>7249346
Is there a video about that?

>Any untrained fool can make Jacks recipes, he is just an inventor, not a chef. He is like Willy Wonka but with tins of onion instead of chocolate and experimental cooking equipment from Amazon instead of umpa lumpas

bad b8

>>7248270

>>7249676
bahaha

this guy is like the perfect example of american men he's like the family guy dad. fat, loud, rude, obnoxious, ignorant, greasy, eats like a fucking pig hahaha

haha I'm actually laughing how can one man be so repulsive?

>>7249664
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wY5YLlG6lw

Behold as Jack gets super butthurt about some chili because these plebs just don't understand his refined cookery.

I wish I could have been there to shove his fat hypocritical head into one of those pots until he stopped resisting. Goddamn.

>>7248633
I move for a new /ck piece of slang or colloquialism; henceforth and hereafter, royally fucking up a simple dish shall be known as ja/ck/ing it.

>>7249729
He's not in that competition though.

I think he may have a touch of the downs.

>>7249589
imagine being fucked by this man

imagine him licking your pussy

bahaha

>>7249664
>>7249729
>>7249757
Shit, I meant to link this one. Sorry, lads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrcW5rqFUn0

>>7249792
what a salty fat pos

>>7247580
to be completely fair i've done that on more than one occasion

>>7249806
Right? He's so fucking bitter before the voting has even started. Around the 6 minutes or so.
He's just a fat child with a beard. And he was trash talking so hard while he made that shit too, despite it just being a bunch of canned crap and a piece of meat he kept in the freezer for a year.

>>7249814
That brisket looked disgusting.

>>7249792
Passive-aggressive as fuck.


>I'm not gonna win because i'm not a cheater

>>7249676
Big Boy Bite™ in action

>>7249792
one salty motherfucker

should have left out the fucking beans and make chili instead, stupid dope

>>7249792
>too much shit
>corn? wtf?
>salsa?
>beans.. no
>cooked on high heat for 1-2 hours instead of 3+ hours on lower heat to bring out all the flavor
>could have left the beer out

he did so much wrong and it's somehow upsetting for him that his shitty bean and corn stew did not win, truly a moron

>>7249327

>>7249729
Holy shit, this was like 10 minutes away from my house. Wish I knew he was coming so I could have thrown raw meat at him

>>7249897
Wait a second, where is this fat fuck retard live. i think he lives near me

>>7249792
He rubbed his brisket in ground coffee? You can do that?

Does this guy make real money on his "cooking" show? He is clueless, a bad cook, the things he makes looks disgusting, and the production og his videos are shit tier, even for a food youtuber. On literally every video of him, I get far superior videos of the same dish in the related section. They look more tasty, more healthy and the production value is higher.

I hate him.

>>7249886
>The Olive Garden
Kek

>>7249912
His wife certainly makes more than him, and her side of the family paid for their cruise vacation.

>>7249912
>Does this guy make real money on his "cooking" show? He is clueless, a bad cook, the things he makes looks disgusting, and the production og his videos are shit tier, even for a food youtuber. On literally every video of him, I get far superior videos of the same dish in the related section. They look more tasty, more healthy and the production value is higher.
>I hate him.

He makes money, but not much. He typically gets 10k views per video, 3 videos per week. He might make $0.80 per 1000 views, so $24 a week. Rough estimate, maybe I'm off by a factor of 2 or 3, but he's not getting rich.

>>7249900
He lives in Tennessee somewhere now. Moved there from Cali. because the schools there wanted to teach his son about genitals and gays and not about how Christ is the Way.
I am not making this up.

>>7249792
No wonder he lost; his chili was too salty.

>>7249966
Yeah, just figured out he lives in Hendersonville, Tn about 15 min from me

>>7249977
>Hendersonville, Tn
thats where my bitch ex-gf is from

>>7249952
In this show he says he makes a few thousand a month off youtube. >>7249088

>>7249543
His inability to complete even the simplest of tasks is like water for my parched soul

>>7248541
this is so uncanny. I feel like I should be having a food porn mement from the HD but then the fucking thing bleeds

>>7249977
>>7249985
Get in the car, buy a case of The Best etc. etc. and toss every jar at the fucker's house.
Maybe he'll lighted up if he gets sauced for once huehue

>>7249998
if so, you may drown

>>7250030
The fuck?

>>7250030
What in the name of holy fuck is this; do you hve you tube link?

>>7249270
him being unable to read would explain him picking up turkey instead of chicken in the salad video. "I didn't know they did turkey in these packs" he says, as the word turkey is written in large bold letters across the packet, his friend/bull covering for the broken man.

>>7250030
>huh? so.. uh corn starch does this HUUHHH? ... huh? hmmmh? sticky.. huh mamma mia huh

>>7250038
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9kwmXwLTNo

>>7247442

> the real horror begins at 5:26

> >hey guys I made some pink chicken again for you /ck/!

uhhhhhh what? Is this some sort NSA experiment to see how far people will be convinced by the pressure of consensus? I'm not seeing any pink chicken there.

>>7250059
Hey Jack!

>>7250035
Corn Starch, brosef. I think this was meant to be General Tso's Chicken but Jack turned it into a clumsy lesson about non-Newtonian fluids.

>>7250056
God damnit his videos make me irrationally fucking rage. I don't get it on so many fucking levels. Does he not realize he fucks up everything he does? Do the people who sub/watch him not realize he's fuckign retarded!

God fucking damnit!

I'm really scared that I know that I live near him now

>>7249792
>I'm just a regular guy still
Does he think that winning a school chili cook off is going to put him above everyone? God I hate Jack

>>7250052

>>7250063
>a clumsy lesson about non-Newtonian fluids.

Something tells me Jack skipped that lesson in high school physics because it conflicted with his religious beliefs or something.

>>7250069
he hates you too

>>7250030
beautiful!

>>7247510
Water tacos

>>7250074
myabe put your other hand behind it, Jacko, just in case

>>7250090
Water FAJITAS!

>>7249543
Jesus fuck, he can't even use a god damn waffle maker. who the fuck seriously follows his shit. I don't fucking get it. fuckikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

>>7250101
I've subscribed just to see the magic happen.

>>7247510
I'd like to wring those out like a sponge.

>>7247442
I'm not very experienced cooking poultry, but that chicken looks cooked to me.

>>7250111
Don't stop the circlejerk. Everyone loves to hate on me and take stuff out of context.

>>7250079
>If you want perfection there is always the food network

Doesn't he want a job in there or in Television? What a huge hippocrite.

>>7250079
Every time he calls himself a regular person or average joe I feel offended on behalf of the millions of people who can't tie their own shoes but are still smarter than this fat arrogant manchild bigot.
No, fucker, even The Average Joe knows better than to sip the blood from a raw chickenleg. Fuck you!

>>7250119
Ok pal.

>>7250111(checked)
It is cooked.

I think Jack is actually improving.

>>7249026
>>7249029
what was it I missed it :(

>>7249816
Yea....it looked kinda...sick....

>>7248541
What video is this from?

>>7250117
Jacknowledge #84: King Jack finds omelettes to be beneath his caliber of cooking so he simply hasn't dedicated any time to making them "properly". A pleb dish.

>>7250141
No you aren't, Jack.

>>7250111
jack pls go

Today I learned that the cu/ck/s of /ck/ overcook their chicken.

>>7250302
Oh Jack... you are unable to learn new things, you old dog.

>>7247442
What's more egregious are the undercooked onions. That shit drives me mad.

>>7250332
Gotta cook the onions before you add the peppers.

>>7249676

>>7248855
gave me a good laugh, cheers mate

>>7250395
Oh fuck off
That cookie is delicious. Hate Jack all you want but the cookie is soft, moist, and reasonably portioned.

>>7248574
which video is this?

>>7249360
Seriously, this is beautiful

>>7250424
doesn't mean the taste could be absolute shite

>>7250425
he doesn't even know how to eat a burger and he's fucking american
the meats almost fell out

what a goddamn retard

>>7250476
He doesn't even know how to eat like a human. He sticks his tongue out like a fucking cow when he takes bites because god forbid he doesn't fill every little bit of his void like mouth with food every time he's forced to exert the energy to open it.

>>7250485
fucking christ I about fell out of my chair laughing

He reminds me of my obese fast-food loving coworker. I hate eating with him because he makes those noises, and also he whines any time we don't go to one of those hamplanet restaurants where they overfill your plate with shitfood instead of just giving you a reasonable quantity of something good.

>>7247442
is that ketchup or blood or one of his own totally unique and rare barbecue sauces?

>>7248855
Kek

>>7250528
blood, he just finished eating some chicken

>>7250570
Must've been some JUICY chicken!

so its pretty much guaranteed Jack has sleep apnea right?

>>7250249
he boils his omelettes in plastic bags
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak3uJGf6Bj0

>>7248855
You nailed it anon

>>7249676
that smile as his cheeks turn red.
that twinkle in his right eye saying i wish life was just this simple
hes a happy man
fuck yall
at least he cooks for himself he is already better than most people

>>7250066
He's in Tennessee

>>7247442
Other than the chicken being undercooked that shit just looks flyover as fuck.

>>7247609
>>7248206
>>7248274
>>7248665
>>7249658
>>7247917

Just for you and just for you :^)

>>7250874
>that tonguing

>>7250874
this is exactly how he eats tammys massive pussy

>>7250611
so rustic
so tender
so moist
gorgeous and beau-ti-FUL

No lie, Jack was my first cooking-related youtuber I ever subscribed to. I legitimately thought he was a good cook ages ago.

>>7251054
You did..... NOOOT.

>>7251054
>>7251090

Hahaha what a story, Mark!

>>7251097
>all these companies send me all this shit for free
>I swear to god guys its free
>they approach me and send me this shit and then I shit all over them
>seriously believe me

>>7248540
He should stop chewing his fingernails.

>>7250761
aren't you from california, jack? don't say y'all.

>>7250696
what a fat porker pos

>>7251354

fucking tongue acceptance is so gross

>>7251355
he was imagining sucking in his wife's roast beef slabs so that made it easier for him

>>7249792
>YOOOOHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HO...HOODEEDOODEEDOOOO
>The alarm wakes me up. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes
>The sweet purr of Tammy's C-PAP machine is comforting, it beckons me back to sleep
>No, I must wake up, today is the day
>I better check on Jack Jr...
>Jack's not in his room...it suddenly hits me that he spent the night at one of his football friends' house
>I've been worrying lately, he's been hanging out with colored folk, they might try to peer pressure him into trying the devil's lettuce
>I'm worrying about nothing, I've raised Jack to be a good man. Never to hit a woman!
>Shower and shave, using my trusty kit from Harry's Razors
>I decide to wear a shirt quoting 1 Corinthians 13:4-0, Jesus will respect my dedication
>Mosey through my hall of hats, decide on a classic little number featuring the character Dedpole, he's a popular guy among the kids
>I must prepare for the chili cook off, this is my calling. I gave up DJ'ing for this.
>Head to the local Kroger to gather my bountiful canned ingredients. Nobody else understands that THIS IS WHAT I DO, if you're going to criticize me on canned items, you're in the wrong place friend.
>The judges will never see my secret ingredient coming
>I've been saving a year old brisket coated in coffee grounds for this purpose, my Christ has commanded it
>Pour every bit of 26 minutes into assembling my chili masterpiece, no one else at the cook off will have dedicated their day as I have

>>7249792
>Tammy finally wakes up and removes her C-PAP mask and gets ready for the chili bowl cook off
>We head over to the football field, Jack is there with his melanin enhanced friends. One of them is giving me dirty looks; I think he's dealing marijuana cigarettes
>I hand my masterpiece to the lovely woman governing this event and she explains that all of the folks present will taste and judge. This will provide fair results as everyone tasting gets a voice (so she tells me).
>Christ bellows into my ears "BLASPHEMY!"
>Why aren't 3 neutral judges allowed at this event? I don't trust the opinion of these homely people with their heretic taste buds. They probably don't even support napalming Palestine.
>I urge Jack Jr and Tammy to vote for what they feel is the best chili, I WILL NOT stoop to the level of telling family and friends to vote for my chili.
>No one has the palate to appreciate freezer aged brisket
>No one here understands the complexity of canned beans and sauce
>This ruse of a contest has been a farce from the start
>I know in my enlarged heart that I am the true winner, and that my chili can bring warring nations together. The love is in the freezer burn.
>Jesus has told me I must infiltrate a high school chili cook off the following week to exact my vengeance via passive aggressive insults to children.
>These people think recipes off the Internet are good? BLASPHEMY!
>Where are the award winners? WHERE ARE THEY?
>I end up leaving extremely disappointed. I await Jesus' command to lead me to my next location for the next highly awaited episode of Jack on the Go.
>Such is the life of a Youtube cooking god

>>7249886
>napalm the Palestinians race war now
Nice

>>7251383
>>7251386

>>7251383
>>7251386
10/10

>>7249729
>>7249792

>>7251355
would you do a compilation of this video like webm related please?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak3uJGf6Bj0

>>7251448
SICK BURN

>>7251383
>>7251386

>>7251449
The Lazy man omelette doesn't seem bad...

>>7251572
>responding to literal faggots

jack, you card

>>7251526
yeah i like my eggs to taste like plastic heated to 212 degrees as well

Bamp for Jack.

>>7251788
bamp

Juck is probably choking on his gigantic head as we speak

>>7248704
underrated post

>>7251829
more choking on his giant retard tongue, the bald scalfani toad that he is

>>7251842
>bald scalfani toad
a very rare (kek) and retarded species

>>7251526
>>7251623
https://twitter.com/GordonRamsay/status/649187504495689728

>>7251874
someone's gotta let King Jack see this and he will put Gordon Ramsay in his place

>>7249792

>flat bill cap
>comic book character

This is a grown man.

>>7251884
he's pandering to his target audience: awkward late teens christian american boys who don't know shit about cooking

>>7251874
>tfw

>>7250074
kek that file name

>>7251788
>>7251810
What the fuck are you doing?
This isn't /b/

>>7251924
This thread is in autosage.

>>7251874
>>7251901
Kind of surprised by how sloppy Ramsay's typing is.
Is he calling that guy "bud" or telling him to get a girl stoned on the herbal Jew?

>>7251928
So bumping it does nothing, you fucking retard.
And it's called a bump limit.

There's always a Jack thread anyway. Wait 5 minutes ffs.

>>7251938
it will be worth the weight

>>7251965
>weight

>>7251995
>couldn't last 5 days on a weight loss venture

That's my Ja/ck/

>>7251999
>the Scalfani Toad anxiously waiting and looking around to get even a glimpse of its main prey, the common American Burger, as its hunger grows
>once the Scalfani Toad spots the burger, it will extend his enormous starchy tongue at great force and speed towards its prey in an attempt grab it in its greedy toad mouth in one big and vicious bite attack; it's not rare to see the Scalfani Toad eat its prey whole

>>7252023
I want to hear this narrated by David Attenborough over slowmotion clips of Ja/ck/ catching a burger in his mouth with his tongue

>>7252083
what is with fat people and tongue acceptance

>>7248793
>cooking wine
>RAW fucking meat on the counter
>that wa la
No.

>>7251931
2bh he seems more personal and friendly, like he actually enjoys reading and responding

>>7247580
Why didn't he get regular olive oil, he could added the extra virgin on his own

>>7250691
how is this the "lazy man's" way

it seems to me like the "i can't cook an omelette" way
>burp the bags twice!
>don't let them touch the pot!
>stand right by them for seven minutes!

>post nice comment
>have ja/ck/ like it
>edit in the picture