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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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7079890 No.7079890[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>"Hey Jack Scalfani here, and today I'm going to show you how to make a beautiful ham"
>"So first thing you want to do is buy a precooked ham from the store"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVqAi38lBNE

>> No.7079903

>>7079890
>international dishes

>> No.7079907

You faggots already have a thread
>>7077321

>> No.7079908

Reminder: SALAD NIGHT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUW_bXll6YM

>> No.7079912

>meat thermometer on a pre-cooked ham

fucking lel

>> No.7079916

>>7079912
yea, wth was he thinking

>> No.7079922

>>7079890
what a disgusting stupid ignorant fat piece of shit oh my god

>> No.7079932

>>7079912
I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was just doing it to shill the fuckers, but no.. hes an idiot

>> No.7079933

>>7079908
HEAPING
A
P
I
N
G

>> No.7079937

>>7079908
Jesus Christ almighty...

>> No.7079956

>>7079908
That is possibly the most vile thing I have seen in ages.
>heaping
>i use heaping tbs of mayawnaise

>> No.7079966

>>7079956
>focusing on the heaping teaspoon of mayonnaise
>not the absolute travesty he calls a "salad"

canned beans, mayo and a raw onion?

>> No.7079971

>>7079890

>video is about the glaze
>complains about the ham being pre-smoked

Jack fucks up a lot of times but this is just stupid of you.

>> No.7079976

>>7079966
I refuse to call that salad.
IT is a fucking culinary travesty.

>> No.7079989

>not curing your pork leg at home over the course of several months

oh, jack.

>> No.7080008

>>7079971
>drown some sad slices of tomato in a cup of oil

tomato salad!

>> No.7080013

>>7080008

>Europoor making fun of American cuisine

Go back to eating actual food and stop posting here.

>> No.7080032

>>7079989
No one actually cures meats themselves. Too many variables and you end up with moldy meat

>> No.7080187

OK I'm sick of you idiots who have never even made one of Jacks recipes talking shit. His bean salad is something I have basically every day and it is fucking delicious. I went to culinary school. I can explain why it tastes so good if you want. Maybe then you pretentious hipsters will stop shaming him for making good old fashioned homestyle cooking.

First of all, I will talk about beans.
Beans are what is known as a 'scattered flavor'. It means that the flavour of beans is as strong or as weak as the beans are far apart in the bowl. So spread your beans away from each other and each bean tastes worse, but put them closer together and each bean tastes better. Jack knows this, as he has culinary skill. So he ensures each bean is as close as possible using the mayonaise.

Mayo is a 'superglue food'. Perfect for attaching together small foods. Other items in this group are jelly, nutella, and melted banana. I often pour mayo into an 'empty' bag of chips then eat it out with a spoon. Get at least 10% more chips this way, at least in a family size bag.

This forms the key element of the dish. It is also true that using a superglue food like mayo prevents the beans splitting apart which keeps the nutrients and vegetable elements. Jacks salad is probably your five a day just from 2 heaping tablespoons. It is at least 90% bean and 10% mayo but the genius of the presentation is the way it appears to be swimming in mayo, giving the salad an appetising and tasty appearance without necessarily overfattening the dish. If Jack was an architecht, he would build a house that looks like a hovel outside but is actually a 4 storey building with 8 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. Of course, he'd have enough salad to fill each of those bathrooms with guests who got too addicted and pigged out till their bellies were full! The fact you are all so disgusted by this dish really show how delicious it is, because the illusion of the mayo has beaten you all. This dish is top tier.

>> No.7080200
File: 69 KB, 330x319, 1442780220106.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080200

>>7080187

kek

>> No.7080218

>>7079890
$7 riesling with a screw top

you know that shit tastes like fruit juice

>> No.7080227

>>7079890
>Put shallot and thyme into cold wine
>Bring to a 'boil'
>'Boil' for an arbitrary amount of time
>Remove from heat, add peach jelly, mustard, and sugar

Doesn't he provide for his family with barbecue sauce? How does he have no concept of how to make the glaze correctly?

>> No.7080237

>Hi, today we will make genuine, authentic real strong independent original hummus with the tears of real Palestinians!
>First, open a can of chickpeas
FUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ASSBLASTS ME ERR TIEM

>> No.7080245

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_IbyC7suoU
I know you want to eat Jack's flour juice.

>> No.7080250

>>7080187
Solid keks

>> No.7080256

>>7080245
what the fuck does he even think that is

it's like he has confused multiple recipes and made one terrible dish that has nothing going for it in any way

>> No.7080268

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91P1u4wW_cw
Cucumbers in brown sauce

>> No.7080288

>>7079966
americans call almost any cold side dish a "salad" it's just semantics

>> No.7080301
File: 1.66 MB, 290x260, laughing asian man with headphones.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080301

>>7080187
>I often pour mayo into an 'empty' bag of chips then eat it out with a spoon. Get at least 10% more chips this way, at least in a family size bag.

>> No.7080321

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu6PftyO5NI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrNILE4PWDo

jack highlight videos

>> No.7080353

>>7080288
..I know it drives me crazy. I have never understood that. Then again most people here are fucking retarded.

>> No.7080357

>>7079912
Even if the ham is pre-cooked, would you want to eat one that's still cold inside?

>> No.7080394
File: 30 KB, 500x359, 1435122843777.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080394

>>7080353
>mfw my cousin brings jello with strawberry jam and cool whip to thanksgiving and everyone calls it salad

m8...

i hate my flyover senpai

>> No.7080444
File: 37 KB, 409x500, 51Io916EgSL._SX407_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080444

I found his brother's book. Search for the name on Amazon.

>> No.7080452

>>7080268
oh my god hes such an idiot

>> No.7080511

>>7080245
IT'S HORRIFIC. UNCOOKED FLOUR PASTE ON MASHED POTATO: PERFECT GRAVY

>> No.7080563

>>7080187
8/10
I laughed out loud

>> No.7080591

>>7080245

Wait, did he... did he strain out the little brown bits from the drippings? Why, senpai?

>> No.7080607

>>7079890
I like how he gives it a long hard look after cutting it to make sure it's not 'raw.'

That pre-cooked ham.

I was scared he would claim it's too pink and put it back in.

>> No.7080643

Do you think jack knows about /ck/?

>> No.7080659
File: 160 KB, 500x464, Byootifl.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080659

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHyXstpe_N8

>> No.7080665

>>7080357
My thoughts exactly, let the kids have some fun though

>> No.7080667

>>7080643
I broke rules 1&2, and linked him a thread. He said he don't care.

Also, to all you fat pieces of sorry shit: This monkey man is making it, so why aren't you?

>> No.7080668

>>7080667
Forgot link.

There's a couple videos of him exercising to the p90x workout videos. What a sucker

>> No.7080669

>>7080667
The only thing he's making is a bacterial breeding ground.

>> No.7080673
File: 1.84 MB, 2448x3264, KIMG0016.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080673

>>7080668


https://youtu.be/1ur7SH9voK4>mfw no link

>> No.7080675

>>7080669
See
>>7080673

>> No.7080676

>>7080187
>jack is actually paying for marketing and it's working
>;(

>> No.7080678

>>7080667
Hi, jack.

>> No.7080680

>>7080245

The redo is a bit better.. It's actually one of his more tolerable recipes.

>> No.7080682
File: 106 KB, 540x960, Screenshot_2015-11-16-19-37-06.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7080682

>>7080678
It was a Fucking vicious, hilarious thread.

Disgruntled service workers unloading on him.

Check out him working out to p90x.

>> No.7080686

>>7080682
Show him a thread where he isn't being roasted, but just discussed.

>> No.7080688

>>7080686
You must be be here.

>> No.7080694

>>7080688
I've been following jack on /ck/ 14 hours a day for the past 3 years.

>> No.7080702

>>7080694
That's more pathetic than all of /r9k/ combined

>> No.7080711

>>7080702
You're not alive until you have something to live for.
Jack is what I have to live for.

Are you truly alive?

>> No.7080718

>>7080187
I'm literally screaming, family
thank you so much for this

>> No.7080739

>>7080659
How much cheese does this fucking idiot want on his pizza? I'm European so maybe I don't get your style of pizza but that looked like more than enough cheese.

>> No.7080775

>>7079890

Why did he put his wine into a bowl and then pour it in the pot?

>> No.7080779

>>7079890

>that mustard... i have no idea what that mustard is gonna do to this

Does he just cook recipes he found?

>> No.7080793

>>7080779
Good cooks can do that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d5PSpt-o1g

>> No.7080822

>>7080187

I want 'superglue food' to be a meme.

>> No.7080830

>>7080822
Americans like food that "sticks to your ribs", so we here at /CK/Tech have created Superglue Food so you can literally superglue food to your ribs (though if you're American you've probably never been able to see your own ribs)

>> No.7080838

what's the name of the channel where jack and his retard brother give their retard opinions about issues?

>> No.7080850

>>7080838
It was called F as in Frank

>> No.7081018
File: 2.60 MB, 640x360, BeanSalad.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7081018

>>7080237
I wouldn't trust Ja/ck/ to make a Palestinian dish. He'd napalm it and probably still undercook it.

>> No.7081024
File: 2.77 MB, 480x270, PartyCheeseSalad.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7081024

>>7080394
Bring Party Cheese Salad to the next one. Test their flyover credentials.

>> No.7081034

>>7080268

Smells very dilly.

Looks like a real pickle.

>> No.7081085

>>7080013
a quartered tomato in oil/water does not make a salad

>> No.7081112

>>7079908
>mom humoring the retard

>> No.7081123

I like this guy...

>> No.7081143

>>7080187
holy shit m8 top tier post

>> No.7081144

>>7079890
>fine cuisine with 3 ingredients

>> No.7081168

>>7080245
oh my fucking god, i even watched his redo. JACK DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A FUCKING ROUX IS. YOUR COOKING IS SHIT AND YOUR FAMILY WILL STARVE BECAUSE YOUR SAUCE IS SHIT AS WELL.

>> No.7081192

>>7081168
>YOUR FAMILY WILL STARVE


did you even watch all of his videos? his kid is fat, his wife is fat. Im sure they are fed pretty well..

>> No.7081201

>>7081192
yea youre right, logic evaded me in the moment. Its just that Jack's retardation puts me in a blind fury sometimes