Stealth Sabotage Meals

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Stealth Sabotage Meals Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:16:31 2015 No.6974137 [Reply] [Original]

What are some meals I can make to fuck up a first date?

TDLR shes conned me into coming over for dinner and netflix this weekend. I want this girl to not like me anymore. shes in my social network, i want to fuck her friends but i dont want her to seriously hate me so this cant be too brazen.

im thinking of making something ethnic thats really popular that most people hate, im not sure what foods she really hates so its a gamble.

my top pics so far:
1.Curry, force her to be in the bathroom and hold in farts all night while watching shitty movies.
2.Cold soup, or whatever else dirt poor russians eat, im pretty white so ill just say its a delicacy my "babushka" used to make.
3.chicken tendies and dip, full NEET mode with mountain dew. im kind of worried she might not mind it so much though.
4.bbq ribs, eating all by hand with no napkins, but not before asking her to wear something really nice

any thoughts /ck/?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:20:45 2015 No.6974148 Just make a good meal and fuck her anyway. You queer or something?

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:21:53 2015 No.6974150

>>6974137

Fra diavolo, anything italian made with this sauce is like sending in a secret spy she won't know is there until it's too late.

Deceptive look, guaranteed mouth blow out if prepared correctly. If she complains say she has a "bitch mouth" and to stop "acting like a little bitch" about spicy food.

Then call her an ingrate for complaining about the meal you prepared for her.

So physical abuse, emotional then psychological... she's sure to bolt, if she's not totally insane.

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:23:34 2015 No.6974155

>curry

"Oh, wow, anon! You're so cultured and exciting! I want to get to know you better!"

>whatever else dirt poor russians eat

"Oh, wow, anon! You're so in tune with global poverty issues! I want to get to know you better!"

>ill just say its a delicacy my "babushka" used to make

"Oh, wow, anon! It's so sweet of you to share your heritage with me! I want to get to know you better!"

>full NEET mode

"Oh, wow, anon! It's so nice to enjoy the familiar tastes of my childhood! I want to get to know you better!"

>no napkins, but not before asking her to wear something really nice

"Oh, wow, anon! It's nice to see someone who respects barbecue as an art form! I want to get to know you better!"

You're so screwed.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:26:42 2015 No.6974169 File: 29 KB, 647x511, 1444551224333.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974155 >You're so screwed.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:30:20 2015 No.6974182 Just make a shitty meal and emphasize that you worked so hard on it. She'll think that you can't cook and she'll instantly be turned off.

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:30:38 2015 No.6974186

>>6974137
Are you so socially retarded you can't just be a gentleman and gently explain to this girl that you're just not attracted to her sexually? What you're talking about doing is just deceitful and will end up not only alienating her, but her friends too, once they hear about it.
Just tell her you're happy to be her friend, and while she's an attractive woman, you just don't have sexual feelings toward her.

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:35:02 2015 No.6974213
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>>6974186
>What you're talking about doing is just deceitful and will end up not only alienating her, but her friends too, once they hear about it.
well thats the thing, i want to engineer it so she feels somewhat turned off of me, but at the same time thinks well of me.

thats why it cant be too brazen, and even if she talks shit about me i can still fuck her friends, as long as im not hitler in their eyes like fucking up a meal brazenly would result in.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:39:51 2015 No.6974231 Why don't you just make up some believable excuse and cancel?

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:42:24 2015 No.6974241
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>>6974182
best ITT so far thanks anon, that and a war movie that has a shitty love story will keep her panties as moist as the saharan desert.

>>6974231
i would be delaying the inevitable i think, its something that needs to be done in order for me to fuck her friends.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:43:05 2015 No.6974243 >>6974137 I cringed so hard that it looks like I overdosed on botox injections. I'm sending you a bill for the damages. Quit acting like a manchild.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:44:22 2015 No.6974249 File: 138 KB, 302x302, 1438044446898.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974243 >I'm sending you a bill for the damages. cant damage whats already worthless

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:44:32 2015 No.6974251 This will end badly. Please come back and post, OP, when this blows up in your face.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:45:57 2015 No.6974255 >>6974150 >So physical abuse, emotional then psychological... This might backfire on him. Bitches be crazy like that.

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:46:46 2015 No.6974257

>>6974137
>1.Curry, force her to be in the bathroom and hold in farts all night while watching shitty movies.
Women like curry.
>2.Cold soup, or whatever else dirt poor russians eat, im pretty white so ill just say its a delicacy my "babushka" used to make.
This might achieve you looking like a lazy/unthoughtful bum, but for fuck's sake don't throw in a sappy backstory or else she'll think it's sentimental and therefore you're sharing something special.
>3.chicken tendies and dip, full NEET mode with mountain dew. im kind of worried she might not mind it so much though.
She'll probably think you're edgy and like you for taking cool guy route.
>4.bbq ribs, eating all by hand with no napkins, but not before asking her to wear something really nice
Why would she hate ribs? She could just go wash her hands, duh.

Your meal ideas are shit. Make something truly poor/offputting to show how much you don't give a fuck.
Worst meal a "date" ever made for me and it was super effective at getting me to fuck off:
>boiled white rice
>frozen chopped veggies
>mixed together with randum seasoning
>"Dinner anon! Isn't this so much more cost efficient than getting pho ^-^"

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:47:45 2015 No.6974262 >>6974251 Yeah gonna need a greentext on this timebomb

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:50:19 2015 No.6974272 File: 29 KB, 306x389, 1433111255128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974137 I would do NEET but make it something gross, like macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs in it. Tell her you're a really picky eater and hate grown up food

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:51:21 2015 No.6974275

>>6974257
>Why would she hate ribs? She could just go wash her hands, duh.
theyll be extra saucy, so much so that she will have to hover over her plate.
im going to try to make her laugh at this point to ruin her dress(shes really into fashion)
if she doesnt care about the dress so much im going to do this:

>>6974255
im planning on something like this is she actually does enjoy the food.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eho0jiDV44

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:51:44 2015 No.6974277 >>6974137 Cook some lobster and make sure to wear baseball cleats.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:51:50 2015 No.6974278 >>6974213 >Did I tell you the time I went round anon's house and he made me this shitty dinner? >Oh boy I want to have sex with him! Top plan m8

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:53:07 2015 No.6974285 >>6974155 >It's nice to see someone who respects barbecue as an art form You've been on /ck/ for too long I think

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:53:36 2015 No.6974286 File: 69 KB, 600x600, 1428290454861.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974255 Yeah they love that shit

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:54:28 2015 No.6974287 File: 449 KB, 420x420, puggles.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974277 I see what you did there

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:55:41 2015 No.6974290

This is so crazy it has to be bait
>but I want to fuck her friends
Theres billions of other women out there, that exist outside her circle of friends. This weird pseudo sabotage thing isn't going to work, either A) she won't take the hint and perhaps want a second date, or
B) she will take the hint, realize you don't have the backbone to be genuine and tell all her friends about it after(likely)
You do know that us girls talk to each other right? Unless you're some 10/10 Prince Charming messing it up with her isn't going to get you anywhere with her friends.
If you really want to mess up the first date, serve her not quite fully cooked chicken, I know that would send me running aha ^_^

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:57:37 2015 No.6974295 Wtf OP just tell the girl your not that into her

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 18:59:23 2015 No.6974298
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>>6974290
>messing it up with her isn't going to get you anywhere with her friends.
yes, her friends know she likes me and will be harder to fuck if she still does.
one of her friends is marriage material, i really dont want to fuck it up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 19:03:08 2015 No.6974311 What if she tells her friends how badly the date went so they'll avoid you?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 19:06:06 2015 No.6974317 >>6974278 I second this, she and her friends will take you for an asshole and you won't fuck any of them.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 19:10:50 2015 No.6974328 >>6974137 Pretty sure the Spice Girls had a song for this exact situation, know how it goes?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 19:11:31 2015 No.6974330 >>6974257 >She could just go wash her hands OP, get an axe and break the water main. Guaranteed date-night moodkiller.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 19:41:44 2015 No.6974425 >>6974328 Hit me baby one more time?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 20:00:36 2015 No.6974483 >>6974137 just be yourself, you sound like a total prick. She realise it eventually.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:19:41 2015 No.6974794 >>6974328 The one about scrubs?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:20:32 2015 No.6974796 >>6974794 Wasn't that TLC?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:20:43 2015 No.6974797 Just watch something fucked like I Spit On Your Grave on Netflix.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:23:02 2015 No.6974802 >>6974137 >writes 13 words >TLDR >Wall of text Just show her your post she'll know you're a prick and a retard.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:24:46 2015 No.6974807 >>6974483 You sound like a woman, try and remedy that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:24:52 2015 No.6974808 >>6974137 I'm sure she will tune in to your crippling autism before too long. But on the down side so will her friends.

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:33:22 2015 No.6974838
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its niggas like op you see constantly crying about being lonely and muh feels in /r9k/. if you don't want her to like you anymore just keep being yourself you fucking faggot

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:35:35 2015 No.6974840

>>6974137
I'm struggling to understand what makes you think this will work. Are her friends not gonna talk to you if you just tell her you're not into her? For christ's sake just make some food for her and be a decent guy, if you think too hard about trying to sabotage things you'll end up making it obvious and fuck something up

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:38:14 2015 No.6974844 >>6974137 >russians >white

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:38:50 2015 No.6974845 Make some vegan nut cheese dip and double the yeast Shell shit all over herself and leave crying

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:39:41 2015 No.6974846 >>6974155 >Oh, wow, anon! It's nice to see someone who respects barbecue as an art form! If a woman said this, OP would be retarded not to propose to her on the spot.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:41:35 2015 No.6974851 >>6974137 Has it crossed your mind that if you make her something that's actually decent she may tell her friends that you can cook. This may work out better then fucking up this meal intentionally.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 21:41:45 2015 No.6974853 >>6974807 It's an issue I've been dealing with from birth, thanks for the support.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:07:24 2015 No.6974948 >>6974137 >my master plan involves making her a mediocre dinner instead of telling her I'm not interested ?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:08:16 2015 No.6974953 >>6974948 his disinterest does not ensure hers

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:11:04 2015 No.6974959

>>6974137

Make steak, medium rare. Most girls (and people in general) hate "undercooked" steak.

Then refuse to cook it well done. She'll probably just put it back for a little and say it's still good. But she won't like you because you're a jerk who refused to make it how she wants it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:11:33 2015 No.6974962 You could just not be a mega fucking aspie for a change

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:21:00 2015 No.6974990 >>6974948 >crashing this date >with NO SURIVORS

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:23:36 2015 No.6975000 >>6974959 Do this, but make it rare. Barely hot whatsoever. If she tells her friends, they'll just think you're a culinary patrician.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:31:29 2015 No.6975027 >>6974137 Dude, cold McD's. Duh.

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:32:24 2015 No.6975031

If you cook a bad dinner she might just think you're a shitty cook and she can teach you. Women love a project. If you're hostile to her, she'll tell her friends you're hostile. If you're passive aggressive to her, she'll tell her friends she's passive aggressive.

You're better off just going into it with an open mind and then break it off later if you're not interested at all in her.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:32:27 2015 No.6975032 File: 32 KB, 350x450, 1201412659124.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] poop on a plate lol

Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:43:20 2015 No.6975067

>>6974959
Fuck that just make carpaccio. Watch Lawrence of Arabia and tell her is "classic cinema". Also get her really drunk so she embarrasses herself and thinks it's her fault things didn't work out.

But really you shouldn't have agreed to the date if you don't like her.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 22:56:19 2015 No.6975103 >>6974796 Oh, right. My bad.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:08:19 2015 No.6975141 This is gonna blow up in your face and you have no fucking clue about women. They interact with their friends, so you making a gigantic faggot of yourself and cooking a turd burger is gonna go straight to the gossip circle.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:11:25 2015 No.6975150 File: 147 KB, 1136x640, tumblr_n5blsrFJmN1r18zr7o1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Just invite a friend over who will pull off pic related. Post results.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:13:07 2015 No.6975153 make aspic or that ramen sundae

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:15:28 2015 No.6975161 >>6974249 B T. F O T F O

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:17:13 2015 No.6975166 >>6975161 bitfoe

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:18:50 2015 No.6975175 >>6975166 Fuck.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:19:25 2015 No.6975179 >>6975175 aw fuck nigga aw fuck get some aw yeah fuck yeah nigga fuck

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 14 23:23:00 2015 No.6975191 >>6974213 oh shit dude you didnt tell us she was blind she can probably taste like a bat

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 00:56:30 2015 No.6975388 >>6975141 Fucking seriously. I can't see how anyone can think you can simultaneously actively sabotage your chances with a girl, but NOT damage your chances with her friends.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 01:00:23 2015 No.6975396

>>6974137
You gotta be incredibly obnoxious about how you totally know how to cook whatever thing you're cooking and then fuck it up in some obvious way. Yet you still persist you did it right.

That shit will drive anyone to hate you.

Then around her friends just be perfectly nice and good and humble so if she complains to her friends about you it just seems like she's exaggerating over minor shit..

Also you doing some crazy passive aggressive shit. I hope you never bitch about girls acting like that.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 01:03:06 2015 No.6975399 >>6974272 This will get you all the women

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 01:07:46 2015 No.6975414 >>6975388 Yep. OP is the textbook definition of virginity.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 01:24:54 2015 No.6975459 make some kind of soup but load it with maltodextrin so she gains 3 pounds

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 01:44:46 2015 No.6975504 Cook a really bony fish but leave the bones in

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 07:35:22 2015 No.6976067
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>>6975388
>but NOT damage your chances with her friends.
a little bit of collateral damage is expected, it wont be hard to repair, i really like one of her friends.
>pic related
she kinda looks like that and enjoys guns as much as i do.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 07:40:14 2015 No.6976080 >>6974290 LONDON O N D O N

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:06:07 2015 No.6976131 just make her a nice meal and slip laxatives into her drink

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:06:42 2015 No.6976135

>>6974290
>B) she will take the hint,
wanna know how i know youre a cow or a butterface?
its not about teenage tier hints you dumb cunt, its about having just the right amount of acumen for her to mildy notice she doesnt really know me as well as she thought she did.

women are stupid, its not that complex, i just wanted to brainstorm ideas.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:10:09 2015 No.6976141
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>>6976131
>slip laxatives into her drink
i just found a way to get rohypnol, im thinking of i drug her up a bit ill wake up on the couch and put some shit on my bedsheets with her in it, she will be too embarassed for a second date and wont tell her friends anything.

ill say my lips are sealed if she cleans it up and ill be in just the position i want to be in.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:17:18 2015 No.6976153

>>6976141
slipping a girl a laxative so you can date her friends is something that could make a funny but harmless story

roofieing a girl and then shitting on her so you can date her friends is excessive and weird

i feel like i shouldn't have to say this

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:17:23 2015 No.6976154 >>6974137 Why don't you tell her you don't want to go out with her? Jesus, and you faggots say women have communication issues.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:20:20 2015 No.6976160 >>6974137 just make one of those disgusting internet bacon shitshows

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:23:44 2015 No.6976165
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>>6976153
>so you can date her friends is excessive and weird
i dunno her friend is marriage tier so theres really nothing too taboo that i wouldnt do.

>>6976160
that sounds like it would backfire, the cooking on my jewbook feed(from people not pages) is a mix of dude bacon lmao and custom cakes, maybe once a week i see an actual recipe.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:33:20 2015 No.6976172 This is the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. If her friend is waifu material you don't deserve her at all. You're a creepy skeez

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:37:16 2015 No.6976182 File: 103 KB, 680x680, 5416536+_ed44946fb22d78f15bfad1c15c489a4a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6976172 >waifu material

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:45:30 2015 No.6976196 >>6974137 You spoiled, selfish, weak little bitch. I don't even know you and I hate you. How about you just grow a pair and do what you want while still treating other people respectfully? Those are my thoughts. Can ya deal with it, ya little pansy?

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:47:14 2015 No.6976199 >>6976165 This is all going to backfire, because it's the most beta thing I've ever seen. Good luck, you're going to need it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:50:11 2015 No.6976205 >>6974150 A woman made this post, it's too accurate to be otherwise. >tl:dr far more witchy bitches on 4chan than you expected, neckbeardo

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:53:59 2015 No.6976207

>>6974241

are you fuckin retarded, girls value effort far higher than results, this is a guaranteed method of showing her that you are interested in her specifically and will 100% backfire you mong

don't cook shit, get a bag of chips and let her open them, enter friendzone

cooking for a bitch in any way is just this side of a marriage proposal you absolute idiot

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 08:56:12 2015 No.6976211
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>>6976207
>don't cook shit, get a bag of chips and let her open them, enter friendzone

haha this is the best advice thus far, thank you anon

>
>cooking for a bitch in any way is just this side of a marriage proposal you absolute idiot
well its pretty normal to cook for your guests when they come over.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:04:28 2015 No.6976220 >>6974298 Incorrect, make a regular dinner and talk about how attractive and amazing her other friend is. Call her fam and say she's like a sister to you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:06:08 2015 No.6976222 >>6976220 >Call her fam and say she's like a sister to you. debatable, i was kind of expecting jealous rage from such an approach, not a bad idea if its done with some finesse however.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:07:57 2015 No.6976225 >>6976222 Most women aren't autists, just friendzone her like your high school crush did to you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:09:08 2015 No.6976229 File: 24 KB, 417x459, 1438061877448.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6976225 >just friendzone her like your high school crush did to you. but my highschool crush didnt friendzone me

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:11:59 2015 No.6976234

>>6976211
>you absolute idiot
>well its pretty normal to cook for your guests when they come over.

guests? yes. but one single girl? no. cooking for one person that comes over to your place is heavy shit bro. that's beyond date territory into relationship land

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:14:25 2015 No.6976239 >>6976234 >cooking for one person that comes over to your place is heavy shit bro. thats only its its a formal kitchen table thing, if were eating on the couch while casually watching netflix its not really heavy shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:18:07 2015 No.6976246 >>6976239 Isn't Netflix code for baby production these days?

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:25:06 2015 No.6976264 someone please post the lobster story

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:51:35 2015 No.6976314

>>6976220
Scratch the first part, cook the girl a nice dinner and tell her she's like a sister to you.

You've been nothing but nice, her friends know you're not into her, and you have a reputation as a good cook. It's the perfect solution.

Of course when they find out who you really are they'll hate you, but that's not my problem you colossal faggot.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:54:56 2015 No.6976318
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>>6976314
>when they find out who you really are they'll hate you
highly unlikely it would ever occur, but even if it were to it doesnt matter to me as long as its after i fuck the right one.

good advice btw thanks.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:57:48 2015 No.6976323 >>6976318 No problem, mate. Make sure you come back and tell us what happened.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 09:59:43 2015 No.6976332

>>6974137
dude just fuck her. If the friend is into you fuck her too. If you were worried about fucking up your social circle than you shouldn't have accepted the fucking request in the first place.

You also have a day or so to make some shit up to get out of it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 11:19:36 2015 No.6976506 File: 2 KB, 125x70, 1428878481759s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974137 You're fucked, douchebag, and not in a good way.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 11:46:28 2015 No.6976573 Did your try posting this to /r9k/ ? I hear they are pretty good at repelling women

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 11:51:08 2015 No.6976583 I'd cook her food from my heritage, but that's because I'm of British descent.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 13:27:48 2015 No.6976826

>>6976583
>I'd cook her food from my heritage, but that's because I'm of British descent.
its pretty sad but she was mostly impressed by my english breakfasts displays i sometimes post to facebook.

i could make a roast beef like my parents used to, they would overcook the shit out of it, make a gravy with no salt or sugar, and serve it with lumpy mashed potatoes and overcooked canned peas.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 14:15:31 2015 No.6976966 File: 150 KB, 899x653, 1444435973470.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6974137 Only one man can save you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 14:19:46 2015 No.6976977 Hire an old lady to pretend to be your mom and have her make you dinner. You two should never leave her sight. The old lady HAS to cut your food for you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 16:16:08 2015 No.6977324 >>6974797 >Literally feminism the movie

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 16:43:34 2015 No.6977406

>>6974137
>dinner
Don't make anything. It can only backfire. Either she'll appreciate all the effort you went to, think you're an ass for making shit on purpose, or she might actually like it.
Get takeout like a pizza or something. It won't be horrible, you won't put any effort into it, and it's unlikely to be manna from heaven. Why is this so hard?

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 16:47:11 2015 No.6977424 File: 50 KB, 213x221, 1274213145666.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6976207 >don't cook shit, get a bag of chips and let her open them

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 16:48:21 2015 No.6977427 >>6974137 cunt.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 16:49:43 2015 No.6977429 you don't think she'll tell her friends about how awful your cooking and manners were?

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 16:55:17 2015 No.6977442 >>6974137 somehow burn a steak while keeping it completely raw on the inside

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 17:09:25 2015 No.6977482
File: 264 KB, 637x478, Peggy, this some nasty ass BBQ-sauce I swear I hate u bitch but the pussy game ridiculous I tell you what.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6974137

>TDLR shes conned me into coming over for dinner and netflix this weekend

How exactly did she con you?

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 17:18:25 2015 No.6977507

>>6976067
So you have a solid 8/10 that like guns as much as you do and want to fuck it up? What the fuck is wrong with you? You could damage the relationship with her and her friends or YOU COULD GET A SWEET FUCKING WINGWOMAN! Your a retarded fuck OP. You disappoint the murder /k/ube.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 17:29:12 2015 No.6977532 File: 209 KB, 500x630, 1444812688106.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6977507 thats the other girl im trying to get while ditching the current one.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 17:42:41 2015 No.6977560

>>6977442
not-op
tfw ive tried this its hard. Maybe its possible though with a iron cast (stickyyyy) pan and no oils at all
let it all get as hot as possible as fast as possible
put steak on pan and dont move it at all, if you smell coal then turn around. Hopefully the middle wont get too cooked then

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 18:04:42 2015 No.6977598 Duh, invite your friends. Tell one of your more gullible friends she is really into them. Then cook ribs. In pasta sauce.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 18:10:32 2015 No.6977611

>>6977598
Actually this might work tell her youve goy some old friends in town for the weekend only short notice or some shit like that brief an acquaintance on the situation and make it a group affair she might even want one of your friends more. Barring that just have dinner with her dont fuck her or anything and play the chemistry card.

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 18:24:16 2015 No.6977639

Just get her really drunk
If she's really that into you she'll have no problem doing it
When it comes times for banging to happen, just tell her that she's too drunk

She'll tell her friends how much of a stand-up guy you are that you didn't take advantage
And then of course when the next time comes around you have something to fall back on by saying she was so unattractive when she was drunk

It's perfect

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 18:24:52 2015 No.6977640 File: 1.84 MB, 325x244, 1437535645220.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6976153 I can't stop laughing

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 18:35:21 2015 No.6977663

I was not expecting such a disaster when I came into this thread.

Please, OP. Trust in your own guidance and do what you think is the best solution. Then come back and tell us how colossally you fucked up in great detail so I can die laughing all over again.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 18:35:53 2015 No.6977664 OP is she artsy? Fuck the meal, you gotta scare her away with the movie. NO NETFLIX.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 19:26:09 2015 No.6977794 >>6974425 That was Britney Spears, anon

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 19:50:49 2015 No.6977853 >>6976246 Yes, yes it is. Color me surprised when the last three times someone invited me over to watch netflix, they wanted to fuck. Took me that long to catch on. I guess I seemed like an asshole when I was like uhhh what the fuck.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 19:52:34 2015 No.6977864 File: 166 KB, 768x1764, lobsternon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6976264 i got you fam. also, OP is an enormous chode.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 19:53:35 2015 No.6977870 >>6976573 I have a feeling that's where he came from. And they probably REEEEE'd him out of there for being a normie.

Blanket !!kAgRvDsMi6e Thu Oct 15 19:59:12 2015 No.6977887

>>6974257
Wont lie, this made me chuckle heavily

That sounds like shit i do when i dont feel like cooking anything cuz im being lazy

>Bag of frozen veggies
>microwave bag for like 6 minutes
>Place 2 slices of cheese on top of steamed veggies
>Empty a can of chicken into the bowl with steamed veggies
>stir
>Dinner

Anonymous Thu Oct 15 20:03:32 2015 No.6977904
File: 241 KB, 1061x592, 1430334690549.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6977870
>I have a feeling that's where he came from.
im pretty ashamed to say that youre wrong, im actually a native /ck/ poster.

>>6977864
i remember this story but somehow i never saved it, totally forgot about the "bon appetit, wanna fuck?" part.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 21:46:50 2015 No.6978292 >>6974137 i hope this is bait

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 22:53:02 2015 No.6978506 Why don't you just tell her. No sense in wasting her time and yours. It's not that complicated.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 15 23:04:55 2015 No.6978544 >>6977532 >SHIT POSTURE >SHIT LOCKED ARMS/SHOULDERS UP >SHIT TARGET ACQUISITION >SHIT DOUBLE GRIP >seriously bitch its not a golf club you doin it rong >SHIT O'GLOCK drop her now bro. free advice based on this picture alone

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 00:51:23 2015 No.6978840 >>6977560 do it with a frozen steak and maybe the inside will be not only raw, but cold

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 06:22:29 2015 No.6979280 File: 326 KB, 1023x1280, 1444813161166.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6978544 >free advice based i hope so because its absolutely worthless, although id like to see a pic of you doing shooting comps.

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 15:51:48 2015 No.6980373 >>6977664 This negro knows, if she's a fucking normie put on some Jodorowsky or somthing weird and watch her run.

Anonymous Fri Oct 16 15:55:18 2015 No.6980381

>>6974137
m8 you dont get it

if she wants your salami stick, nothing you cook will make her not want you

if i were you, i'd make a pot roast, mash potato, and mac and cheese

get her loagy enough and you can avoid fucking her. then you fuck her freinds after she tells him how you make such good food

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 15:58:38 2015 No.6980386 why are you focusing on what you cook? just be yourself and she'll be more turned off than anything you could possibly cook would do

Anonymous Fri Oct 16 17:23:15 2015 No.6980600

>>6974137
if you don't mind cleaning the bathroom after she leaves, diarrhoea is your safest bet.
easiest way to induce it is by combining melon (of any type, cucumber will work as well) with beer (or if she doesn't drink beer, milk, but cow's milk not soy or almond or other shit).

if you're not into cleaning shit off the walls after she's gone, just add unreasonable seasoning to your dishes, like:
>fried chicken with cinnamon
>carbonara with fresh cilantro on top (that way you'll look like a total know and she might never want to see you again)
>overcooked calamari with mint sauce (and a glass of orange juice)
>steak with fennel, orange and dill sauce

fuck's sake OP possibilities are endless, kinda wish she was coming over to my place instead, I'd show her a great time!

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 17:24:52 2015 No.6980607 >>6980600 meant to say *knob, not know

Anonymous Fri Oct 16 17:42:54 2015 No.6980665
File: 43 KB, 400x300, broccoli rabe sausage sandwich.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Will taste great but give her an incredible urge to shit afterward. She'll tell her friends what you made was amazing but she got her period 20 minutes later

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 17:43:57 2015 No.6980667 >>6974148 This. Just fucking this.

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 17:46:00 2015 No.6980674 >>6974182 But happens when she tells the story to the girl OP wants to fuck? He's gonna be screwed on that front

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 17:50:48 2015 No.6980697 >>6974137 >butter Make really fatty food Like cream and butter everywhere

Anonymous Fri Oct 16 18:01:40 2015 No.6980723

>>6974137
Here's what you do, Anon:
Cook a great meal that you know how to make expertly. And have fun doing it, she'll be into this. Afterwards, during Netflix, you have sex with her. Do this very well too. Be sure not to let her know in any way that you actually want her friend. Don't even bring that girl up in your own mind. Stay focused. Pretend everything's fine, but that you just want to be friends for now. You like to take it slow. You'll only need to keep this up for a few days at most. Just basically don't act like a shit. She'll "know" that you'll break from that attitude soon enough, so she'll doubtfully pressure anything else. She will, I guarantee, tell her friend (that you want) about how amazing you are: "Anon is such a chef and he fucks like I a pro, his dick is the stuff of legend, blah blah"; she's going to exaggerate everything to her friend to make you sound like the best catch ever, while also explaining that the two of you are only friends, but that it won't last long. Which her friend that you want will believe, leading to desire and jealousy for you. Then you explain to girl 2 a few days later that girl one seems really clingy and it turns you off. This will condition girl 2 to not act that way toward you in the future. Then just simply repeat the cooking and Netflix with girl 2. Girl one will literally pick up girl 2 FOR YOU. I did this all the time in college and it works so damn well. Just make sure you shave and smell nice and you can't fuck it up. No ones feelings get hurt to bad, you get to bang 2 girls, and then you have the option for a relationship with girl 2 if you want it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 18:05:39 2015 No.6980740 I haven't loved a thread on /ck/ this much for a long time.

Anonymous Fri Oct 16 18:17:50 2015 No.6980770

You're going about this all wrong.
Order take out, watch something casual, and fuck her (not too good though)
Be kind, but 'busy' the next couple of weeks, hitting it if she wants to come over but take no steps towards advancing the relationship any further. Eventually she'll realize she wants something more serious and will tell you just that. Seem a lil sad but understanding. You guys will still be 'friends', and in a week or 2 you can hang out with her and her friends then start mackin on one of them.
Or alternatively
be straight up about liking her but find yourself drawn to her friend

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 18:19:08 2015 No.6980773 File: 395 KB, 650x434, exultation.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6980740 Same here, this is the best thread I've seen this week on any board.

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 18:23:21 2015 No.6980781 File: 491 KB, 2720x1631, f-35.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6980723 OP here, this is some pretty solid strategy. something something dangerzone, nice going Maverick!

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 23:06:46 2015 No.6981512 >>6980781 Please try that and come back and tell us all how much it blows up in your face.

>>	Anonymous Fri Oct 16 23:08:35 2015 No.6981518 >>6974155 this op whatever you picked yer screwed if she likes you you know what to give her ;) the D meal

Anonymous Sat Oct 17 00:14:26 2015 No.6981659

Make meatballs with no seasonings just hamburger by hand and take like an hour just making those while droning on about this being an authentic method. Use canned tomato sauce, maybe comment on how old it is?
Then insist on watching The Godfather/Goodfellas movie franchises and talking over all of them.
This is massively off-putting quirk lots of men have that some women mistake for just a symptom of being a heterosexual male.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 17 01:58:19 2015 No.6981823 >>6974277 Only if they are black tho..

Anonymous Sat Oct 17 03:47:57 2015 No.6982006

>>6974137

if you're above her in desirability then no matter how bad you fuck up the meal she's not going to be turned off, unless its something so bad that she ends up telling her friends. i mean why wouldn't she mention to them that she went on a date with you and it went badly? no matter what happens she's not going to want them to fuck you since she's marked her territory

if she any minor error in the food is going to turn her off of you, then she is probably more desirable than you, in which case why the fuck are you trying to screw this up.

either way, you're a moron, and should either be honest with her that you don't want to do this, OR just weasel your way out at the last minute like a fucking normal person would

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 17 05:50:23 2015 No.6982172 >>6976131 >>6976154 >>6976220 >>6977598 >>6977639 >>6980386 >>6980600 >>6980723 >>6980770 these are probably the best options

Anonymous Sat Oct 17 05:52:20 2015 No.6982177

>>6980665
>Will taste great but give her an incredible urge to shit afterward. She'll tell her friends what you made was amazing but she got her period 20 minutes later

>give her an incredible urge to shit afterward
>She'll tell her friends she got her period 20 minutes later

I think you've had a bit of a mental mix up there, anon

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 17 05:54:22 2015 No.6982182 >>6974137 Just hit the bitch

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 17 08:12:57 2015 No.6982334 >>6974150 >if she's not totally insane Ah, but you see...

Anonymous Sat Oct 17 08:33:45 2015 No.6982365

>>6974148
>>6980667
Um. If you fuck a girl, generally speaking, you've blown your chance to fuck her friends. If you're particularly desirable maybe you can, but then there's an ethical issue because you'll probably destroy a friendship. But the ethical issue is moot, because here we are on 4chan and to be honest none of us are particularly desirable.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 17 08:49:19 2015 No.6982392 >>6982365 >desirable has nothing to do with it

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 17 13:10:16 2015 No.6983210 >Empty out your fridge. >Make buttered noodles >Say you only eat buttered noodles every meal >Watch alpha and omega 5

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking